DADDY KNOWS BEST
by Desktop Dragon
Summary: (Originally posted in 2015) A sort of sequel to my other Crossover story Fifty Shades of Crossfire Family Connections. WARNING This is an incredibly dark story which focuses on subjects which are still taboo namely death, self harming, mental health issues and suicide. It follows Gideon and his family specifically his relationship with his eldest daughter.
1. Chapter 1

**AUTHORS NOTE: Originally posted on the site 11th May 2015 and completed 3****rd**** November 2015**

**Since then this story has been given a complete overhaul, to hopefully remove all typo's and errors I missed the first time around. The main story remains intact although some parts have been rewritten but it has not been vastly altered other than edited to (hopefully) improve the flow and remove plot holes, errors and omissions. **

**oooOOOooo**

**A lot of people contacted me after '**_**What If…?**__**Fifty Shades of Crossfire' **_**(now called **_**Fifty Shades of Crossfire Family Connections**_**) originally came to an end back in January 2015, asking if I was going to do a sequel but I said 'no' as I felt I had said all I wanted to say with that story and I was all out of ideas, and to be honest I was planning on taking a break from fan fiction for a while. But then this seed of an idea popped into my mind and took root and basically the story wrote itself in my head. It was originally inspired by an Iron Maiden song I was listening to at the time.**

****WARNING: For those of you who are reading this for the first time I will say from the start it is a VERY, very dark and heavy story with its subject matter which is going to include death and grief, mental health issues including depression and anxiety, self harming and also suicide attempts and so for that reason I have graded it a mature story and there are parts of it which WILL be quite disturbing and so some readers may find it upsetting. I do hope to provide plenty of lighter moments as well and eventually there will be a happy ending for everyone and I hope it will prove to be an ultimately inspiring and uplifting story.**

**I realised at the time that I was taking a risk writing a story of this nature with some of the content I have written about but I want to make it very clear from the very start it's not to glamorise subjects which are still considered somewhat of a taboo, and subjects which are stigmatised and swept under the carpet, but to show how life changing events can affect people and in this case subsequently shape the relationship of a young girl with her daddy. **

**I also want to make it very clear from the start that this story concentrates on Gideon and his family, particularly his eldest daughter Denise who I created and appeared towards the end of **_**Fifty Shades of Crossfire Family Connections.**_** Ana and Christian are involved but playing a supporting background role along with the rest of the Grey family.**

**I do not own Fifty Shades of Grey/Crossfire Series or its original characters.**

**DADDY KNOW'S BEST!**

CHAPTER 1

**(DENISE)**

I am almost hysterically afraid; all I can think of is getting to my father. I know that he will make everything alright, and he will protect me. I run into the Crossfire building, the security guards stand as they see me burst through the doors and I look at them. They instantly recognise me and one immediately picks up the phone. I run towards the elevator and as the doors open, I fumble as I try and plug in the key which my father gave me and which will take me to the top of the Crossfire and to him.

The elevator doors open and I am immediately granted access to Cross Industries but I don't even stop to give the astonished receptionist a glance, I just want my daddy. I run down corridors and I am sobbing, the tears are making me almost blind and I am finding my way by instinct rather than sight. I am panting and my lungs feel like they are on fire and people are staring at me as I reach the executive offices. My father's assistant Scott stands as I approach and goes to pick up his phone. I look towards the glass walled office and I skid to a halt. The glass is clear and I can see my father presiding over a meeting, the man who I love more than anything or anyone in the world. My dad, I calm slightly as I see him. He looks up and as he sees me I see concern on his face, he immediately excuses himself and walks towards the door.

"DADDY!" I yell as he opens the door and I rush towards him.

I am a hot mess, my make up smudged and my hair is a mess and tears are pouring down my cheeks and I have totally lost control of myself and the temporary calm I felt when I saw him has now evaporated. He comes striding out of his office and looks panic stricken as I throw the bags I am carrying to the ground and run towards him and I fling myself at him clinging to him and gripping his shirt tightly. He immediately wraps his arms around me and practically carries me to the sofa in his office and the men who he was meeting with quietly leave the room. He sits down with me still sobbing bitterly in his arms.

"What's happened?" he asks, and I hear the fear and panic in his voice.

I can tell he is trying hard to contain his panic, and I know I need to start speaking and telling him why I am here and why I am in the state I am in. I know that when I do tell him he will make everything alright again as I have faith in my dad… he will make everything ok, he always does.

I look up into his face and the tears are still flowing freely, "He's back, I saw him daddy, I was coming out of the mall with Aunty Ireland and he was there watching me, I know it was him daddy, I am scared, why has he come back, he was in jail I thought I was safe, he was gone?"

The words all tumble out in a rush. I know that I am rambling and words are just spilling haphazardly from my mouth. I shiver as I remember _who _I saw and the fear consumes me again and I bury my head in my father's chest and I feel him stiffen. I know that the fact he is back will hurt my dad too, and my dad doesn't deserve to be hurt any more, he has been through enough these past few years to last him a life time and I have caused him so much pain. I feel him tighten his grip on me and he gently rubs my back. This is slowly calming me down and the sobs which are still wracking me start to lessen and then he pauses and reaches into his pocket and pulls out his cell phone.

"Raul, I need you here now... he's back" he says tightly and then he hangs up.

He returns his attention back to me, "Denise, look at me sweetheart, you need to tell me and Raul everything you remember and you need to calm down. I promise you that man will not hurt you ok?!" he says.

I nod and I look up into the astonishingly blue eyes so like my own and I see the love my father has for me, and it immediately makes me feel calm and with a big sniff I rest my head against his chest.

"Thank you daddy" I whisper as I continue to cling to man who I love with all my heart, the man who I know will never let me down.

A few moments later Raul appears. I look up and see the compassion in his eyes as he sits down beside us. I am still curled up on my father's lap I tell him everything I saw and remember.

"Don't worry, we won't let him hurt you," Raul reassures me, I nod, but I can't help but worry as he has been a thorn in my side for so long. I look up at my dad; he has been a bigger thorn in my dad's side. My dad has had to endure his drip feed of vengeance and negativity since before I was born.

"Did your Aunt Ireland see him?" my father asks.

I shake my head, "no she was texting Aunty Mia at the time" I say with a genuine smile. I love my Aunty Mia. Since mom died both Aunty Ireland and Aunty Mia have been there for me, my dad has been brilliant but sometimes a girl needs a female perspective. My mind travels to Aunty Ana as well, although she lives the other side of the country in Seattle but I know if I was to call her at any time day or night she would be there for me and just knowing that is a comforting thought.

I look up at my father, I am calm now and he looks down at me and brushes his hand through my hair, and then he takes my wrists and touches the pink scars there. Running his thumb along them and my heart almost breaks at the sadness in his eyes. He is afraid of what the return of this man could mean…

**oooOOOooo**

_Five Years Previously..._

I can't believe this is happening. I just stand there and watch as my strong, reliable and powerful dad completely falls apart in front of my eyes. He is gripping my mom and holding her limp lifeless body to his and demanding that she returns to him. Liv stands beside me and she too has a look of complete astonishment on her face. I reach for her and I hold my sisters hand and we just watch helplessly as he is completely lost in his grief.

This sort of thing happens to other people, my friend Jenny's mom died when we were little, she was just five years old - the same age as my sister Zoe is now when her mom died. My dad is destroyed he never in a million years expected to sit and watch my mom die.

It all happened so quickly, she was fine and then she started getting these weird headaches, no… they were more than headaches, migraines would be a better description. They completely knocked her off her feet but she just dismissed them until in the end my dad made her go to the hospital to get it checked out and we discovered she had a tumour. Tests were done and my dad used his wealth and influence and flew in specialists from all over the world to try and do something to save my mom. However, it was all in vain because it was so aggressive, and it had spread so significantly. I heard the doctor tell my dad that she was riddled with it and there was nothing that they could do for her. They said it was their belief she had had the cancer for years and because of where it was situated she hadn't had any symptoms until it was just too late.

_The next morning…_

I open my eyes and blink, for a second everything is fine but then the events of last night consume me in a rush as I recall how I watched my mom die and subsequently watched my dad completely fall apart. I can't actually believe that she isnow gone. I had always believed deep down that my dad would do _something_ and she would be saved but she died last night.

Tears start to well up in my eyes as I remember, I was there with my dad and my sister Liv she had been unconscious for days totally unaware of her surroundings but just before she died she opened her eyes and smiled at us all. I was shocked as she seemed to recognise us. It was totally amazing as she didn't even know we were there for the past week or so but it was almost as if she came back to say goodbye.

Her eyes opened and she looked at me and whispered my name. I hear her voice as my mind replays that moment, and I hear that frail hoarse 'Dennie' in my head and the tears start to fall faster. Then she had looked at Liv and whispered her name. She had looked at my dad and pointed at us and my dad had nodded and he promised her he would take care of us and she looked at me and Liv once more and said Zoe. We both hugged her and told her we loved her and that we would take care of our baby sister and then she simply smiled, closed her eyes and... then that was it, she just died. It was like she fell asleep but we all knew she had gone, there was an eerie silence for a few moments and then my dad just started to scream her name and cry and he held her and begged her to come back to him. Liv and I had left him alone with mom and went outside; we were both shaken at his reaction. I called my grandfather and he came with Uncle Christopher to get us. Aunty Ireland was at home looking after Zoe and Liv called her to tell her that mom had died. My dad refused to leave mom to start with and it took granddad and Uncle Christopher everything to persuade him to come home with us. He did eventually give in and come with us but he wasn't really there with us if you get what I mean.

I get up and wander out of my bedroom, I walk past dad's room and pause as I hear moaning and I knock on the door but there is no response. I go out into the kitchen and pause, my sisters will be awake soon; I don't know what to do… I am assuming we won't be going to school today, so I go back to my dad's room and knock again.

"Dad" I call, but there is no response, I hesitate as I am certain he is awake.

"Dad" I call again and again there is no response.

I decide to go and make him some coffee, and I fill a mug full and take it to my father's room. I knock again.

"Dad, I've brought you some coffee" I say, and yet again there is no response. I place the mug of coffee down on the floor, "I'll leave it here for you" I say and then I walk away.

**oooOOOooo**

Today has been a surreal day as none of us have gone to school. Zoe is totally confused and Aunty Ireland has explained to her that mom is with the angels now; Liv and I are trying to hold it together for her and my dad is a complete mess.

We haven't seen him all day, as he has hasn't come out of his bedroom, the mug of coffee I made him sat untouched outside his room until I eventually moved it. We can hear him moving around but he has just shut himself away and won't answer anyone.

I had called my grandfather as I had no idea what do as it was like we were home alone as my dad had completely checked out. As soon as I called him my granddad came and he brought Uncle Christopher and Aunty Ireland with him and thankfully they all took charge. Granddad tried everything to get dad to come out of his room, he phoned the school to say we wouldn't be in and Uncle Christopher went to the hospital to start making arrangements. Granddad and Aunty Ireland have spent the whole day pleading with my dad to unlock the door and come out, but he hasn't been seen all day. I tried, I had stood outside the door and pleaded with my dad, telling him we needed him but… nothing so now in total desperation here I am on the phone in tears to my uncle and aunt in Seattle telling them my mom has died and begging them to come to New York and help my dad. I feel bad for doing this because they have their own lives and they have been here almost constantly for months since mom got sick. But I know that if anyone can get through to dad it will be Uncle Christian. They have been brilliant; Uncle Christian and Aunt Ana have been there for us all throughout this nightmare. In fact everyone has been brilliant, Aunty Ireland has practically moved in to help out since mom got really ill and was moved to the hospital.

If I am honest I am getting a bit pissed off at my dad at this moment as he's not the only one hurting here. I am 12 years old and my mom has died, my sister Olivia is 10 and my baby sister Zoe is 5 and we are _all_ grieving and although I am trying to hold it together and take care of my sisters we all really need our dad at this moment and he's just not there.

"He just won't come out Uncle Christian" I sob down the phone, "I am trying to help Liv and Zoe, granddad is here and he is trying to get dad to come out. Aunty Ireland and Uncle Chris have been here trying to get him to come out as well, but he won't and we need him" I say.

I hear a deep sigh, "Ok Denise listen to me carefully, take the phone and go to your dad's room and knock on the door and tell him to come out and speak to me" Uncle Christian says calmly.

"Ok" I say.

I walk up to my dad's bedroom door and knock, my granddad stares at me sadly, "He isn't responding to anyone sweetheart" he says in a despondent almost resigned way.

I don't listen and I call out hoping that hearing Uncle Christian wants to talk to him will bring him out as he has always been closest to Uncle Christian. "Daddy, Uncle Christian is on the phone and he wants to talk to you" I call through the closed door, but there is no response and sadly I realise that I expected this to happen.

"He's not answering" I say sadly into the phone.

I hear my uncle sigh again and when he speaks again his voice is harder, "Ok right then… put me on speaker and turn the volume right up as loud as it will go" he says firmly.

I do as he asks "Ok I've done that" I say.

The next thing I hear is my uncle bellowing down the phone and he is so loud his voice almost fills the apartment. I can't help but grin because he doesn't mince his words or seem to care about dropping the f bomb and when I hear it I let out a small giggle.

"GIDEON CROSS, OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR RIGHT NOW! YOUR DAUGHTERS NEED YOU, STOP BEING SO GOD DAMNED SELFISH, YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE HURTING HERE. YOUR DAUGHTERS HAVE LOST THEIR MOTHER AND THEY NEED THEIR FATHER!" There is a pause and then we hear movement.

Hope rises dramatically inside me at the sound of the moment behind the closed door, "I think he's coming" I whisper excitedly down the phone.

"Is he?" my uncle says, and then he apologises to me for his language and as he is speaking I hear the door open.

I manage to tell Uncle Christian, that it's ok when to door starts to open. "He's coming out" I say with a profound and total relief as I watch the door slowly opening.

My father stands there looking absolutely dreadful. He's wearing sweat pants and a crumpled t shirt. He is unshaven and his eyes are red. He is pale and he reeks of alcohol. But I have never been so pleased to see him in my life and I react instinctively. I drop the phone and I fling myself at him and I feel him crumble beneath my arms. He falls to his knees and pulls me close and there we are sobbing on each other. I vaguely hear my grandfather speaking and I guess he is telling Uncle Christian that my dad has come out. I hear my sister's approaching and my father looks up and then gathers us all into his arms and holds us tightly.

"I'm so sorry" he mumbles.

"It's ok daddy," I say, "I was worried about you, and well... we need you right now" I add.

My father looks at me and nods; I see a strange mixture of shame and desolation on his face which he slowly hides with a look of determination. He looks at each of us in turn and gives us all a soft kiss on the head.

"I'll be right back, I'm going to go for a shower and I'm going clean myself up and then we will all get something to eat ok?" he says.

I nod at him and smile bravely. I take my sisters away and I decide I am going to help him out with that. I will make us some dinner. My mom wasn't the best cook in the world and we ordered in most of the time but my mom made a mean bolognaise and I helped her make it so many times so I'm pretty convinced I can do this. I recruit my sisters to help me and give them jobs to do. My little sister Zoe is only 5 so I give her the job of getting out the saucepan and utensils I need, and I give Liv the ingredients and I tell her to start chopping. I put on some water to boil for the spaghetti. My grandfather comes in and takes in the scene.

"It all looks very industrious in here, can I help at all?" he asks.

I smile at him, "Thanks granddad but I've got this, I want to do this" I say quietly.

He nods at me understanding immediately. "Do you want me to stay?" he asks carefully.

I think for a moment, I feel bad telling him to go, because I had called him in the first place first thing this morning when we couldn't get my dad to come out of his room this morning and he has been here all day with us, but I selfishly want it to be just us. Me, my sisters and my dad. I think he realises this and he picks up his coat.

"If you need me just call" he says as he gives me a kiss.

"Thanks granddad" I say and I snake my arms around his waist and give him an affectionate squeeze, he pulls me close and holds me tightly and tells me what Uncle Christian said to him and what has happened since my father came out of his room.

"Uncle Christian and Aunty Ana will be here first thing in the morning, he said he was leaving Seattle within the next hour or two and they are going to their apartment when they arrive so they can be here for you all first thing tomorrow morning. I called granddad Victor and he is also making arrangements to fly out from California" my grandfather tells me and I nod in understanding. I'm glad about that because Uncle Christian and Granddad Victor will both know what to do when they get here.

"Is Grandma Grace coming too?" I ask hopefully.

My grandfather shrugs and shakes his head, "I don't know sweetheart" he says honestly. I nod and return to the saucepan with the ingredients in ready for me to make the bolognaise.

"I'll be off then, I'll let myself out" he says as he walks away, he says goodbye to Liv and Zoe and I hear the front door open and then shut again. I return my attention to the dinner and I hear my mother's voice in my head explaining how to make the bolognaise.

"Dennie?" I turn at Zoe's voice, which pulls me from my thoughts.

"Yeah?" I respond.

Zoe looks up at me and I see the pain and confusion in her eyes and I swallow hard. "Mom's not ever coming home is she?" she asks quietly and I feel my heart lurch at her question.

"Aunty Ireland told me she was with the angels now and Uncle Chris gave me a hug and said I've got to be a brave girl... mom's not coming home is she?"

I look at my little sister and see her lip quivering. I gesture to Liv to take over stirring the pot of bolognaise and I walk over to Zoe and crouching down to her level I pull her into a hug. I feel her small arms encircle me and we just hold on to each other. I try and hold it together as I explain to my five year old sister that our mom has died.

"No Zoe, she's not coming back". I hesitate a moment and then pull away slightly and look her in the eye. "Remember how dad explained to you that mom was really sick, well although the doctors tried really, really hard to make her well she was just too sick and last night she died".

I have no idea if I am doing the right thing telling her this but at this moment I believe I need to be honest with her and she will only be more confused if we try and fob her off.

She nods at me and then she just pulls away from me. I want to pull her back and just hold on to her. I watch her as she sits down at the table quietly. I realise that she is obviously processing what I have just said. Liv looks at me and she looks like she is going to break down at any moment and I go to her and give her hug. She holds on to me for a few moments but then she pulls away and gives me a weak smile and walks away. I feel oddly alone so I go back to the stove and take over the cooking.

I am just about ready to dish up and I am quietly confident about the food I have cooked when my father finally appears, he still looks pale and his eyes are bloodshot, red and puffy but he has shaved and showered and he has put on some clean clothes and he manages a weak smile as he sees what I am doing.

"Something smells good" he says as he moves closer and peers into the pot.

"Mom's bolognaise, she showed me how to make it and I thought... I wanted... I..." I stop as tears start to fall; my father takes the spoon from my hand and pulls me close. I close my eyes, this is what I needed, I need my dad to hold me and tell me everything is going to be alright, even though I know it is a complete lie as I feel like nothing is ever going to be alright ever again, now that mom is gone.

"I get it" he says quietly. All too soon he pulls away and I just want to hang on to him but I don't.

I check the oven and see that the garlic bread is done; it was just a pre-prepared French stick which I found in the freezer which only needed cooking from frozen. I turn to the spaghetti and look towards my father as I'm not convinced that I will be able to drain it without help.

"Dad, can you help me please?" I ask.

He immediately comes over and drains the spaghetti, "Do you want me to serve?" he asks me, I nod and hand him the serving spoon. As we sit down at the table, my father looks around realising for the first time that it's just us.

"Where's your grandfather?" he asks me.

"He went home" I reply. "He said Uncle Christian and Aunty Ana are flying out tonight and going to their apartment when they arrive and that they will be here first thing tomorrow morning and he said that he called Granddad Victor and he was making arrangements to fly out from California" I say.

My father nods and he immediately reaches for his phone and calls Granddad Victor and tells him a plane is on its way to California to fetch him, and then he calls Raul to arrange for a plane to be sent. Seeing him do this gives me hope as he looks like the dad I know as he does this, in charge and in control of everything, when he has done that he looks around the table at us all.

"I'm sorry I wasn't here for you today" he says quietly, and Liv reaches out and touches his hand.

"Don't worry dad, you are here now" she says.

**(GIDEON)**

I look around the table at my girls and I am totally ashamed of myself. I fell apart last night when Eva left me, the last thing I did before she left me was promise to take care of our daughters. But what did I do? I failed her and broke my promise within minutes of leaving that damn hospital.

I look at my children, my three beautiful daughters. Denise, twelve years old and a carbon copy of me in looks and temperament she has grown up so quickly since Eva became sick and I know that I have leaned on her when I should have been there for her to lean on me. Olivia who is ten and my heart hurts as I do so. As much as Denise looks like me Liv is a younger version of Eva she looks just like her physically in every way and she has her no nonsense approach to life. I turn my attention to look at my baby girl sitting eating her bolognaise quietly and I smile, Zoe was a surprise package and at five years old is precocious and adorable. She is a perfect mixture of both myself and Eva she has my dark hair, and stature and she has Eva's eyes and features and at this moment I know I have to do my best for these girls as I am all they have now and I can't fail them as Eva will live on in all of them.

I suddenly realise Chris has gone. He has been here all day talking to me through the door and trying to get me to come out.

"Where's your grandfather?" I ask looking towards Denise.

"He went home" she tells me, "he asked if we needed him to stay and I said it was ok for him to go, he said Uncle Christian and Aunty Ana are flying out tonight and going to their apartment when they arrive and that they will be here first thing tomorrow morning and he said that he called Granddad Victor and he was making arrangements to fly out from California" she says.

A shot of regret goes through me, shit Victor! I have been so wrapped up in my own misery I forgot the fact that this man has lost his daughter. I reach for my phone and call him. He picks up quickly and is sympathetic.

"Gideon, how are you bearing up?" he asks.

"Hanging in there Victor, listen I'm sorry I haven't called until now. Denise has just told me that my father called you and that you are flying out to New York" I say and then I pause.

"That's right son, I'm just at the precinct now, just making arrangements for cover at work" he says.

"I'm sending a plane for you it should be in the air within the hour and I'll get Raul to contact you to let you know when it arrives in California" I say firmly.

"Thank you Gideon" Victor replies. I quickly hang up and call Raul to make it happen and he responds immediately.

I hang up and look once again at my children, Denise is looking at me and she smiles hopefully at me. I can see the pain and sadness in her eyes but all her concern at this moment is for me and it nearly kills me. I heard her on the phone earlier, she was sobbing to Christian and begging him to come to New York to help me, and then I recall Christian telling me to get my ass out of my room and pull myself together and I realise now I have to do just that.

"I'm sorry I wasn't here for you today" I say quietly to everyone, and I watch as Liv reaches out and touches my hand and squeezes it gently and it nearly undoes me completely.

"Don't worry dad, you are here now" she says.

**oooOOOooo**

I wake up and I touch the cold empty space at the side of me. That was one of my biggest achievements in my life. I overcame my demons and was able to spend the night with my wife. The whole night and now I am once again sleeping alone. I glance at the clock at the side of the bed, it is nearly 8:30 and I lie there gathering my thoughts when I hear a knock at the door.

"Hello, Come in!" I call and the door opens and I see Liv poking her head around the door with a mug of coffee in her hand.

"Dennie told me to bring you this and to see if you were awake" she says.

I smile and pat the bed and after handing me my coffee she climbs on to the bed beside me and wraps her arms around me.

"Where is Dennie now?" I ask as I press a small kiss to her head.

Liv looks up at me, "she is helping Zoe get ready. She phoned the school and said none of us were going again today, but I think you are going to have to call them as I don't think they believed Dennie" she says.

I frown, "Who called the school yesterday?" I ask.

"Granddad" Liv replies. I nod and hold her close while I drink my coffee. I know Dennie has made this as she makes it so damn strong it would wake a hibernating bear. As I sip my coffee the door opens and I see my eldest daughter. I immediately put down my coffee and hold out my arms to her, she joins us on the bed and crawls into my lap.

"Morning dad, are you feeling a bit better today?" she asks warily.

I nod, I'm feeling empty and the pain in my heart is unbearable but I need to put that aside for my girls.

"Where's Zoe?" I ask.

Dennie looks up at me, "She is in the kitchen eating her breakfast; she wanted some toast so I made her some" she pauses and looks at me warily. "Erm... dad, the school want you to ring them, granddad phoned yesterday but I called them this morning and said we wouldn't be going and they said I wasn't allowed to do that that and they needed to hear from you". She pauses and looks down and I have a feeling she isn't telling me everything. I look at her carefully.

"Did they say something to upset you sweetheart?" I ask as I lift her chin so she is looking at me, immediately tears spring into her eyes and she nods.

"When I called and said who I was and told them that we wouldn't be in school today, they said they couldn't accept a call from me and my mom or dad needed to call and when they mentioned mom I kind of lost it a bit and I shouted at them and told them that that was why we weren't coming because mom was dead and they said sorry but said either you or another adult had to call. I'm sorry dad I didn't mean to shout but it just happened" she says. I hold her tightly and I press a kiss to her forehead.

"It's absolutely fine, you are bound to have all sorts of emotions at the moment" I say. I reach for my phone and call the school.

"Good morning St Winifred's school" a mild voice says.

"Good morning Gideon Cross here, I am calling to inform you my daughters won't be in school for the rest of this week" I say curtly.

"Ah yes Mr Cross, your daughter telephoned earlier and we told her that either you or your wife needed to inform us" the woman says.

At the blasé mention of Eva I feel my own anger rising and I can understand how Dennie got so upset. Surely these people made a note yesterday when my father called them?

"Well, as my father called yesterday and informed you that my wife passed away the night before last and they would not be in school yesterday I put it to you that whoever said that to my daughter was totally insensitive and totally out of line in the circumstances" I snap and I wait there is a long silence.

"I do apologise for that Mr Cross and I am very sorry for your loss, I will make a note of your call and we won't expect the girls in for the rest of the week, and please let me offer you our sincerest apologies for any misunderstanding". I shake my head and hang up without another word.

I turn my attention to my daughters who are watching me carefully. "Ok, are you two going to let me get up and get dressed, before Uncle Christian and Aunt Ana get here?!" I say. My girls immediately shuffle off the bed and out of the room; I finish my coffee and head into the shower.

I am just coming out of the bedroom when I hear voices coming from the sitting room. I make my way down and I see Ana hugging Zoe tightly and Christian is hugging Liv they both turn to look at me and Ana immediately comes to me and folds me into her arms.

"I'm so sorry Gideon" she whispers in my ear. I just nod and ease myself away. Christian comes up to me and embraces me.

"How are you bearing up bro?" he asks me, the concern in his voice is almost my undoing. I shake my head and don't say anything.

I hear voices coming out of the kitchen and moments later Dennie appears carrying a tray with mugs on it, along with Phoebe and… Grace and who stops dead when she sees me and our eyes meet.

I feel my heart lurch as I see her. "Mom" I gasp, it's all I can get out. She came, I needed her and she came.

"Gideon darling" she says and holds open her arms and I don't hesitate, I lurch over towards her and fall into them.

I eventually pull myself together and turn my attention towards my niece who has grasped my hand.

"Uncle Gideon, I'm so sorry that Aunty Eva died" she says as she looks up at me, I crouch to her level and wrap my arms around her.

"Thank you Phoebe" I say.

It feels comforting to have my brother and his family here but I can't help feeing a twinge of something, I can't put my finger on it until I see Christian touch Ana's arm lovingly. Shit I'm jealous, jealous of the fact my wife is dead and he still has his. I am shocked and appalled at my line of thought and I try and push it from my mind.

I try and hold it together and the day is spent arranging the funeral and sorting out everything related to it. I call my PR department and tell them to release a statement publicly announcing the fact Eva has died and to request that the media respects our privacy. I have to say on the whole they have been pretty good during Eva's illness with only the odd pap getting out of line, there have been a few clusterfucks with press on occasions but generally speaking they have been reasonably respectful.

My mind focuses on the funeral never in a million years did I expect to be doing this. By the end of the day Victor has arrived and so have Kate and Elliot and Mia and her husband Ethan, who is Kate's brother and Carrick. Chris, Christopher and Ireland are also here. The amount of people here in the Penthouse has never bothered me before we are always having family get togethers, in fact I insist on them numerous times throughout the year, but at this moment I am feeling a little overwhelmed and I just want everyone to go. Denise comes over to me and grips my hand.

"Are you ok dad?" she asks looking carefully at me.

I shake my head and her response is immediate, she calls Liv over and whispers something in her ear and she in turn goes and speaks to Christian who looks up and then announces that perhaps its time for everyone to leave us in peace. Within 20 minutes everyone is gone, except Victor who is staying here with us and I heave a sigh of relief as I close the door.


	2. Chapter 2

**AUTHORS NOTE: I hope you are all following it ok, the opening paragraphs at the very start was five years after the events which are taking place now in the first couple of chapters and there will be another jump into the future coming up shortly which will start events rolling and then further down the line we will have another jump into the future which will bring us to the point where the story started – are you with me? ****Please**** remember I said this was going to be an ultimately positive story, but the point I am making is that life isn't all 'happy ever after' and to get to the good you have to sometimes go through the darkest of times.**

CHAPTER 2

This is the day I have been dreading since Eva died. I have been almost obsessively planning and arranging this funeral and I have put my heart and soul into it to give my beautiful Eva the fitting tribute she deserves, and now today I have to stand there and I have to say goodbye to my wife. There is a kind of finality to it which I can't describe and I really don't want to do it, I don't want to have to face the undeniable fact that Eva is really gone. I have no idea how I have been functioning since that night when Eva left me.

At this moment I am putting my turbulent emotions to one side and I am helping Zoe get ready. I was not sure whether or not Zoe should be attending the funeral at all but Liv and Dennie said she should because she needs to say goodbye to her mommy and they assured me that they would look after her. I hope I am doing the right thing by letting her attend. I also hope I can be there for my girls and not let them down today.

I watch as Zoe pulls on her socks and I zip up the dress she has picked. I am not going to make my baby daughter wear black and she has picked a navy dress with delicate white flowers all over it and she tells me 'mommy really likes this dress'. I swallow hard at this comment as I try and hold it together. I brush her hair and fumble with it trying to braid it. Eventually I give up and go in search of my sister who has practically moved in since Eva died. I find her with Liv and Dennie talking in the kitchen they all look towards me, my elder daughters look pale and the fact they have both picked black outfits accentuates their paleness.

"I tried to braid Zoe's hair and I couldn't do it" I say feebly.

Ireland smiles and walks towards me, "Here let me do it" she says gently.

I watch as she swiftly braids Zoe's hair and fastens it. "Thank you" I say.

Ireland rubs my arm and kisses my cheek, "No problem" she says.

Very soon everyone arrives, Christian, Ana and Phoebe are the first to arrive and slowly all the Grey's are soon in my sitting room. Chris and Christopher arrive with Victor, I was grateful to them for going with Victor to see Eva. I couldn't do that; I said my goodbyes at the hospital the night she died. There is a knock at the door and I am surprised to see Ray and Christian's Aunt Denise standing there, I am touched that they have made the trip from Detroit to be here. Ray shakes my hand and Denise hugs me.

They have been married now for about 10 years and seem really happy and they still run the Detroit safe house for me and Christian. I look around my family they are all here for me and my girls to pay their respects and say goodbye to my beautiful Eva. I take in everyone. Chris Vidal my step father but I have long since just called him dad, my siblings Christopher and Ireland. They are both still single, neither looking to settle down any time soon although I had heard Ireland is dating someone, I wonder who he is as she has pretty much put her life on hold recently to be there for me and my girls.

My brother Christian and Ana, they have had more than their fair share of pain over the years, their daughter Phoebe a couple of months younger than my Dennie is an only child. Christian and Ana tried to have more children but it just never happened for them and they endured a series of miscarriages and eventually they just gave up. I know Ana always wanted more than one child because she was an only child but it wasn't meant to be for them. They went through a stage of discussing adoption but nothing seemed to come of that idea, which surprised me considering Christian was adopted by Grace and Carrick. Phoebe is a delightful child though. Elliot is here with Kate, they haven't had a plain sailing marriage. They have a daughter Ava and a son Lucas who are at home in Seattle with a nanny but lets just say Elliot hasn't been a totally faithful husband and there have been numerous separations throughout their marriage. Mia is married now she married Ethan, Kate's brother and they have just discovered that they are expecting their first child. Mia is looking radiant today and Ethan is super attentive.

Carrick and Grace are here. Grace what can I say about her? I call her mom and she has been there for me more than my own mother ever was. Jason Taylor and Gail are here as is Luke Sawyer; they still oversee all of Christian's security. This leads me to think of Angus and a lump comes to my throat, my surrogate father and right hand man died last year. He had stepped back from his duties as he hadn't been well for a while but it had shocked us all when he died suddenly of a massive stroke.

I look across at Monica and Richard Stanton standing somewhat apart from everyone, Monica is sniffling into her handkerchief and Richard has his arm around her. My relationship with Eva's mother has been more than a little strained since Eva became ill, and has deteriorated dramatically since she died. I was accused of not keeping Monica in the loop as to the treatment and progress her daughter was making and in the end I had had a huge argument one evening with Stanton when he called to demand I tell them what was happening. It had been bad timing it was when we had been told Eva was terminally ill and that there was no hope, I had lost it and bluntly told them that Eva was going to die and that there wasn't a god damn thing we could do about it. I called back later and apologised for my outburst and tried to explain, but there is still lingering resentment there. I put it out of my mind as I have gone out of my way to apologise and make up for what I said so it is their problem not mine.

I do everything that is expected of me during the funeral service, I speak and tell proudly of my love for Eva and how she made me a better man. I watch both my brothers do readings and we head to the grave side where I see the casket slowly lowered into the ground. I watch and it's almost as if I'm not there as if I'm watching proceedings as a third party. I feel someone touch me, and I look to see my daughter Liv slip her small hand into mine, and it is almost my undoing. I have more or less held it together but this small gesture has me blinking furiously to stop the tears from falling.

"It's ok to cry dad" she whispers to me and that does it and I break down completely. I know everyone is looking at me but at this moment I just don't care. I feel my girls gather around me hugging me and offering me their love and comfort and I instinctively drop into a crouch and gather them all in my arms weeping bitterly.

The ceremony comes to an end and people start to move away. I have a large contingent of my security and Grey security all here today to stop the media and paps getting photographs of this private time. So I am surprised when an unexpected and unwanted visitor approaches me.

"Gideon" I turn at the voice calling my name and I see someone who I never expected to see again. At first I think I am seeing things, and think the grief has finally sent me crazy, but then it becomes apparent that this is really happening.

I stare in disbelief as my mother of all people stands there looking at me carefully almost as if she wonders what I am going to say or do. I frown; my mother hasn't been in my life for years and none of my children know her. She left New York and moved to California as soon as Chris divorced her and none of us have seen or heard from her since. I see a look of unadulterated shock on Chris, Christopher and Ireland's faces as they register who it is and it gives me some comfort to see it as I realise that I am not going mad and that she is really here and that they also have no idea why she would even consider turning up here today. I pull my girls closer as she looks at each of them in turn, almost as though I am trying to protect them from her gaze.

"Who is that?" Dennie asks me quietly.

"My mother" I reply sharply.

Dennie gasps, "I thought Grandma Grace was your mom?" she asks looking at me in confusion.

I shake my head, "It's a long story sweetheart, I'll explain it to you later" I say.

My mother walks up and goes to try and embrace me and I hold up my hand to stop her she freezes and then just stands there awkwardly almost as if she isn't sure what to do next.

"I was so sorry to hear about Eva" she says eventually.

"Don't" I spit harshly as I stare coldly at her, considering how she felt about Eva I know that is a complete lie and I won't have it, not today.

I feel the need to get my daughters away as I see my mother looking at each of them. I grab Zoe's hand and glancing desperately at my family who are hovering. I shepherd my elder daughters over to Christian and Christopher who quickly step forward, while Ireland walks over and touches my arm reassuringly and then leads Zoe away. I find it interesting to note that neither Christopher nor Ireland acknowledge our mother in any way and even more interestingly she didn't acknowledge them.

I stand staring at my mother. "What do you want?" I ask.

"Gideon please" she says she reaches for me again and I take a step back.

"No, it's too late for that… years too late" I say and I turn and walk away just leaving her standing there.

**oooOOOooo**

Everyone has gone and the Penthouse is quiet. My girls are around but I am sitting alone thinking. Seeing my mother again has unsettled me but at this moment I am thinking back to the times I shared with Eva. I think about when I first met her and all the good times we shared and it gives me a small sense of comfort.

"Dad?" I look up and smile as Liv and Dennie stand there watching me.

"What do you need?" I ask them and I think I manage to offer them a reassuring smile.

They come and sit with me, and curl up either side of me resting their heads on me and I wrap my arms around them both and hold them close.

"You said you'd explain that lady we saw at mom's funeral" Dennie says carefully.

I sigh. "I did, didn't I" I say resigning myself to the inevitable. "Where's Zoe?" I ask, as I try and distract them, to delay the unavoidable conversation I am about to have.

"She is in her room" Liv says dismissively.

"Is she alright?" I ask, slightly amused at Liv's lack of concern.

Liv nods, "Yeah she was colouring the last time I looked" she says, equally dismissively.

"Ok" I say, I pull my girls closer, and I realise that they are waiting, they are looking up at me and waiting for me to explain.

There is no getting out of this, Eva and I always told our girls never to Google me as I never wanted them to read all the crap online about me. My car crash of a life is all there and I never wanted them to read about me as there was always a bias and I didn't want my past in their heads or any warped biased view of me. They are getting older now and there will come a time where they will disregard and defy that particular rule so I know that to try and prevent that from happening when they do ask questions I need to answer them honestly. So I let out a deep sigh before I start to speak.

"That lady was… is my biological mom, so technically speaking she is your grandma. It's all very complicated really. My mom was with another man before she married Granddad Chris and she had me then she had your Uncle Christopher and Aunty Ireland with Granddad Chris are you with me so far?" they both nod at me.

"So how does Uncle Christian come into this?" Liv asks.

"I'm coming to that" I say, well the man who was my dad was also your Uncle Christian's dad but another lady was Uncle Christians mom, but it gets more complicated because Uncle Christian's mom died and so after that happened he was adopted by Grandma Grace, are you following me?" I ask, and both girls nod at me. "My mom and I don't really get along so I have looked upon Grandma Grace as my real mom instead of that lady who is my actual mom" I say.

Dennie looks at me, "So Granddad Chris isn't your real dad either, he is your step dad?" she says and I nod.

"That is correct" I say.

"Why do you call him dad then and why do you call Grandma Grace mom, if they're not?" Liv asks.

I smile at her, "Because I look upon them as my mom and dad because they both have treated me as though I am their son even though I'm not" I say.

"So, what about Uncle Elliot and Aunty Mia?" Dennie asks.

I smile as I think of Elliot and Mia, "Grandma Grace adopted them as well and she became their mom" I explain.

"So they aren't really related to you at all?" Dennie asks.

I shake my head, "No, there is no blood link the only blood link with the Grey's is between me and Uncle Christian… and Phoebe of course as she is Uncle Christian's daughter" I say.

I watch as Dennie and Liv think about this.

"Why don't you and your real mom get along?" Liv asks me.

I look hard at her, "We have a difference of opinion" I say.

"Did mom like her?" Dennie asks.

I smile and let out a small snort as I recall the way Eva always protected me against my own mother and the spectacular altercations that happened between the two women.

"Your mom had lots of arguments with her because she always defended me against my mom" I say.

My girls sit and think, then Dennie rests her head on my shoulder, "It's a shame really, I mean I would give anything to have mom back, don't you think you should just make friends with her, I mean if mom dying proves anything it's that life is precious and too short to not be friends" I press a kiss to her head.

"That is very wise Dennie and under normal circumstances I would totally agree with you, but things have happened which I don't want to go into which makes it very difficult for me to make friends with her" I say.

I watch as Dennie nods and accepts what I say, "Will you tell me what happened between you and your mom?" she asks.

I shake my head, "No Dennie, it's private between me and my mom" I say.

"But mom knew" she protests.

"She did because she was an adult and she was my wife and I talked to her about it" I say.

"Ok" Dennie says "Will you tell us when we are grown up?" she asks.

I shake my head, "No baby girl, it's not something I want to talk about with anyone else" I say.

"Ok daddy" Dennie says and she wraps her arms around me and snuggles closer.

As we sit there, Zoe appears and climbs into my lap and hands me a picture.

I look at it, "This is really good Zoe, do you want to tell me who all these people are?" I ask.

She leans closer and starts to point, "That's you, that's me, Liv, Dennie, that's Uncle Christian, Uncle Christopher, Aunty Ana, Aunty Ireland and Aunty Mia that's Uncle Elliot and Aunty Kate and that's Phoebe, that's Uncle Ethan, Ava and that's Lucas and we are all playing baseball on the beach at Uncle Christian's house, look there is the water" she pauses and points to the figures in the sky. "And that's mommy, she is looking down from heaven with the angels watching us" she says. I swallow deeply as I focus on the small drawing of an angel in the sky.

"That is a beautiful picture, you know I always called your mom '_Angel_' and now she really is one" I say. Zoe just looks at me in silence.

"May I have this picture?" I ask.

Zoe nods "I drew it for you, because you are sad because mommy died and now she is with the angels and I thought if you had a picture showing her with the angels looking down on us it would make you feel better" she says.

I hug her tightly, "Thank you that was such a good idea and it has made me feel a little better" I say.

I look at my watch, "Ok what are we doing for dinner?" I ask.

"PIZZA!" All three yell in unison.

I laugh and shuffle my daughters off of me, "Ok Pizza it is!" I say.

We sit around the table tucking into the pizza and I point at the salad I threw together to have with it, "Come on you need to eat some healthy stuff too" I coax.

They grin at me and Dennie serves herself some of the salad and proceeds to place some on her sister's plates. I watch as she fetches four glasses and fills three with milk and hands them out, then she looks at me.

"Do you want some milk dad?" she asks.

"Yes please sweetheart" I say. I watch as she pours me a glass and hands it to me.

"Thank you" I say as I take it. Since Eva died Dennie has slipped into and taken on the role of mom to her sisters, and it appears she is trying to take care of me as well; I need to make sure my daughter doesn't get too bogged down with this role and I need to make sure she still makes time for her. After all she is only 12 years old, admittedly she is very mature and self assured and also very self sufficient for her age, I am proud of all my children and I love them all but there is something about Dennie which unnerves me a little though she is so like me it scares me.

**(DENISE)**

I look around the table everyone is eating the pizza, I am trying to put on a brave face but the fact mom isn't here anymore and I will never know another mealtime with her or see her smiling face again upsets me. I think about the things which my dad told us today. I can't believe that he isn't friends with his own mom, something has happened and it must have been really bad for him to not speak to her for so long. I didn't even know she existed till today, which was the first time I have ever seen her. I can't help wondering why they fell out. It is a closed subject now with dad, he said he doesn't want to talk about her anymore so I will ask Granddad, he was married to her so perhaps he knows why she fell out with my dad. I wonder if I could talk to her and see if I could get her and my dad together and talk as it seems sad they haven't spoken for so long.

I look up as I hear my dad say something about school.

"Did you hear what I just said Dennie?" he asks.

I shake my head, "Sorry no" I say.

He smiles at me, "I said you will all be going back to school on Monday, I have called the school and they expect you all back then" he says.

I nod but don't say anything.

**oooOOOooo**

_Monday Morning..._

"Come on girls, don't make me wait!" my father is standing twirling his keys on his finger as we all enter the room.

"Are you taking us to school?" I ask staring at him in surprise, as normally it is Raul who takes us.

My dad is wearing a suit so I am guessing he is going back to work, he hasn't really been there full time for months but the fact he is smartly dressed in his black three piece pin stripe suit tells me he is planning on trying to get things back to some kind of normal.

He nods at me, "I am, do you have a problem with that?" he asks.

I shake my head, "No, it's just Raul has always took us before" I say.

"Well if you would sooner Raul takes you" he says looking a little hurt.

I fling my arms around his waist, "No it's nice that you are taking us" I say. "Are we going in the Mercedes or the Bentley?" I ask.

"The Merc" my dad replies with a grin, he knows we all prefer the Mercedes to the Bentley.

Raul is sitting in the front passenger seat of the Merc with my dad, as we pull up to the school. Zoe goes to the Kindergarten section next door and my dad steps out and opens the door for us to get out. As he leads us into the school grounds I see him grip Zoe's hand. Across the road I see a pap.

"Pap alert dad!" I say and nod towards the car with the camera lens sticking out of the window.

My dad shakes his head sadly, "Why don't they leave us alone" he mutters.

He leads us inside and he speaks to Zoe's teacher who is waiting for us, then we head to our own school.

"Dad you don't need to come in with us" I say as we reach the door.

He looks at me and nods. "Ok, Raul will be here to pick you up after school and take you to the penthouse till I get home, your grandfather will be there until I get back from work ok?"

Liv and I both nod and we hug our dad tightly and he gives us soft kisses and tells us to be good. We watch him leave and I feel a sudden unexplainable pang of panic, as I watch him leave.

"DADDY" I call, he immediately stops and turns.

I run to him for one final hug, "I love you daddy" I say.

He squeezes me tightly, "I love you too sweetheart" he says.

**oooOOOooo**

After a pretty bad day I am glad to get out of here, when we leave the building Raul is sitting by the kerb, Zoe is already in the car and I climb in and Liv soon joins us.

"Hi there, did you all have a good day?" Raul asks.

I shake my head, "No, everyone was bugging me asking me about mom" I say irritably. Raul doesn't say anything he just smiles at me.

"You know… They were probably just trying to be nice" he says after a few moments.

I don't say anything. When we reach the Penthouse our granddad is waiting for us and we all rush at him and he hugs us all laughing loudly.

After we have changed I find him in the kitchen pouring drinks for us he turns and looks at me and smiles.

"Here you go" he says as he hands me a glass.

"Thank you... Granddad, can I talk to you about something?" I ask.

"Sure, what's up?" he asks as he sits down beside me.

I take a deep breath, "That lady that came to moms funeral, dad said she was his mom but they don't talk, why aren't they talking and why aren't they friends?" I ask.

My grandfather looks at me carefully, "Denise, did you ask your father this question?" he says.

I nod, "and what did he tell you?" he asks.

I tell him what dad said about her and he nods at me. "So what makes you think I am going to tell you anything more?" he asks.

"I just want to understand, what was so bad that he hasn't talked to her for years?" I say.

Granddad leans forward and places his hand on top of mine and he looks so serious, "Denise, you need to let this go, too much has happened between your dad and his mom, there has been too much pain and hurt and you really need to leave it alone" he says.

I look at him, I am quite surprised by the tone he used so I nod, "Ok I'm sorry" I say.

He nods at me satisfied that I won't pursue this any further.

"Thank you Dennie, you really don't need to go digging up that subject as it will open up old wounds which will hurt your dad more than you could ever imagine" he says.

I stare at him in shock, I don't want to hurt my dad, so I decide to let it go.

When my dad comes home and we have had dinner we are sitting with him and he is telling us stories of the things he and mom used to do together. Tonight he is telling us the story of how he and mom first met.

"I was in my car and Angus was taking me to a meeting across town, and your mom stopped right beside the car, and she looked up at the Crossfire building. I couldn't take my eyes off her as she was so beautiful. When she went inside I followed as I wanted to see who she was and where she went, as I walked in she was helping a woman who had dropped some money on the floor, and she was crouching picking up the money. I walked towards her and she looked up at me and she lost her balance and fell backwards on to the floor. I helped her up and I knew at that moment she was the woman for me" we listen enthralled by his story.

"Wow dad, so it was like love at first sight?" Liv says.

Dad nods, "Yes Liv it was, although I didn't realise that at the time. It took me a while to realise it".

"Did you have many other girlfriends before mom?" I ask.

My dad smiles, "That is a story for when you are older... much older!"

I watch him carefully, he is trying hard to offer some kind of normality, but something feels off almost as if moments like this are him trying too hard as it feels like he is pulling away from us. I don't know what it is, but he isn't really with us at the moment. We need to give him time, mom was the love of his life and it is understandable that he is devastated that she is no longer here.

The next day after school I am waiting for Raul to arrive, he has text me to say he is stuck in traffic and that he would be with us as soon as he could. He told me to wait inside with Liv and that he had contacted the school and that they were aware of the situation. I was a little concerned about Zoe so I called the kindergarten and I was assured by Zoe's teacher that she was fine. Me being me though didn't listen to Raul and went outside to the school yard with Liv. We sat in the sunshine watching the world go by.

"Dennie, I really miss mom" Liv says to me suddenly.

I look at her and wrap my arm around her, "so do I, I miss her smile and her laughter and the way dad was always happy when he was with her, he seems so closed off now. I know he tries but since mom died he seems so… I don't know, distant. I mean I know he is grieving at the moment for her and that he runs a massive company and he took loads of time off when mom was sick but he's just different now, don't you think?" I look at Liv and she nods.

"He is trying to be there for us though, I think he's just sad and missing mom and trying to cope the best way he can, we just need to give him time" Liv says.

We sit talking and I hear someone walking towards us I look up and grab Liv's arm, dad has always drilled into us never to speak to strangers and if anyone approaches us to get away from them. We're not stupid, dad has his own company and has loads of money and because of that we are a target for kidnappers, it's just something we have always known and accepted. I stare at the woman walking towards us, and Liv looks at her and then at me and she is frowning.

"Isn't that dad's real mom? That woman from the cemetery who turned up at mom's funeral?" she whispers. I look closely at the woman and recognition hits me and I silently nod.

I stand straight and pull Liv behind me. "What do you want?" I say defensively.

"Don't be afraid Denise, it is Denise isn't it?" the woman says. I nod and she takes a step closer, "I'm not going to hurt you Denise, do you know who I am?" she asks.

I nod but don't say a word.

"That's good Denise, so you know that I am your grandmother so you know I won't hurt you or your sister, I just want to talk to you" she says.

I nod again, Liv holds my hand and steps to my side, "What do you want to talk about?" she asks.

The woman smiles, "I just wanted to meet you both and introduce myself, how's your dad, is he alright now?" she asks.

We both stare at her not quite believing what she has just said, "Erm... no!" I snap the sarcasm and incredulousness dripping from my words. "He's not alright, he sat and watched his wife – the woman he loved die so how in any way could he be alright?" I say.

Liv stares at her, "What did you do to our dad?" she asks bluntly.

The woman looks taken aback at the question. She shakes her head, and doesn't say anything. Liv takes a step forward glaring at her she points her finger at her.

"You did something… something bad, because he told us that you two didn't get along and our mom had arguments with you and she defended him against you".

The woman laughs, "he told you that!? Your mother came between me and my son she wouldn't leave the past in the past; she was to blame for everything that happened, she was a trouble maker and she re-wrote his past and brainwashed him, she poisoned him against me" she spits viciously.

Liv gasps and I just lose it, I let go of Liv's hand and march up to the woman and push her. "Don't you dare, my mom loved my dad and he loved her, you will take that back" I scream.

"DENISE, OLIVIA STEP AWAY AND COME HERE NOW!"

We both look around at the shout and see Raul racing towards us, by this point Liv is crying and she runs to Raul and he grabs her checking her and tells her to go and get in the car. He walks up to me as I am still shoving the woman and I have resumed telling her to leave us alone. He grabs me and pulls me close.

"Denise, go and get in the car I'll deal with this" he says, I look up at him with tears in my eyes.

"She said bad things about my mom Raul" I say.

He hugs me "It's all ok now. I'll take care of it from here, you can tell me what she said in a moment but just go and get in the car" he says. I nod, and I turn to the woman again, and I glare at her.

With as much venom I can muster I give her a parting final word, "You are _not_ my grandma, my grandma's name is Grace Grey and she lives in Seattle. She is the woman my dad calls mom, which makes her my grandma _not_ you," I say and with that I run and climb into the waiting Merc.

When Raul returns we tell him everything and he looks really angry, but he assures us he isn't angry with us. He calls our dad and tells him what happened and we can hear my dad yelling down the phone so loud that Raul has to move the phone away from his ear.

I'm scared by this because dad never shouts; I don't think I ever remember a time where he has ever raised his voice. He doesn't need to, he always manages to get his point across without having to. Uncle Christian shouts, he has a really hot temper and he always shouts but not dad, and this scares me the fact he is so angry.

When we arrive at the Penthouse dad is there and I have never seen him so angry, he is on the phone when we arrive. He is pacing and shouting into his phone, Zoe is terrified and starts to whimper as she clings on to me.

"Come on" I say and lead my sisters away. We go and wait in Zoe's bedroom, she sits on my knee and clings to me.

"Daddy is scaring me" she says.

"He's really angry" I explain.

I listen to the shouting, I have figured out he is talking to his mom, and he is telling her if she comes within a mile of us again he will serve her with a restraining order and he shouts at her for what she said about mom to us. Eventually there is silence and then Zoe's door opens and we all sit there petrified wondering if he is going to shout at us.

He looks at us and the realisation on his face at how much he has scared us hits him. He slowly walks towards us and crouches and he holds open his arms and he smiles reassuringly at us. We don't hesitate and run into his arms making him lose his balance and we jump on top of him as he lies sprawled on the floor. We let him sit up and then we all sit on the floor of Zoe's room. He tells us not to listen to or believe anything that woman said about our mom and he apologises for frightening us.

Everything that she said is making me more curious to find out what exactly happened between my dad and his mom, as he really seems to hate her, especially the way he called her 'that woman'. I am angry with her for what she said about my mom and I need to know why she said those things. A plan starts to form in my head at how I am going to find out the truth. My chance to act on it comes to me quicker than I anticipated. When my dad gets up and walks into the kitchen, I notice his phone has fallen out of his pocket and I pick it up quickly and slide it into my pocket. I head to the bathroom and I lock the door. I know his PIN number for his phone as I have seen him tap it in many times so I quickly go through his calls and find the one I want and I make a note of the phone number. I see one labelled Elizabeth, I remember granddad say her name was Elizabeth and that is the name next to the number. My dad doesn't even list her as mom in his phone. After I have done this, I head out and give my dad his phone back.

"Dad you dropped this" I say innocently as I hand it to him.

"Thank you sweetheart" he says with a smile as he takes it from me.

Later my chance to make the call happens. Dad has gone to his study to work, Zoe has gone to bed and is fast asleep and Liv is watching TV. I head to our room and pick up my phone; I close the door and make the call. It rings out a few times and then a woman answers I immediately recognise the voice.

"Hello" she says.

"Am I talking to Elizabeth?" I ask.

"You are, who is this?" she says.

"Denise Cross, we spoke today at my school and I want to ask you something" I say.

There is a brief silence and then Elizabeth speaks to me and she sounds wary, "Denise does your father know you are calling me?" she asks.

"No" I say.

There is another pause, "Alright, what do you want to know Denise" she asks.

"Why do you hate my mom so much?" I say.

There is another more significant pause before she answers that, "Denise, I apologise for what I said today about your mom, what I think of your mother was between me and her... and your father of course, I shouldn't have said it to you and I'm sorry if I upset you" she says.

"You didn't answer my question" I say.

Elizabeth sighs, "Many years ago when your father was a boy some things happened and we disagreed as to what actually happened. Then your mother dragged all those things up when she met your father, and she confronted me about it, she made me see that your dad was right about what had happened previously but the way she did it resulted in my husband leaving me. I never forgave her for that, then she got him involved with that Christian Grey and opened a whole new can of worms when they discovered that they were brothers" she says.

"What were the things that happened between you and dad?" I ask, I realise I am close to finding out what is behind all this.

"Your father told me about things that had happened to him when he was a boy" she says.

"What things?" I push.

"Denise I really don't think you should be asking me this" she says. I can tell she is getting worried about this, but I really want to know and I know if I keep pushing she will tell me.

"What happened to my dad?" I press, I am standing up now and I wait for her to answer me.

The silence is massive and then in a small voice she speaks "your father was sexually abused" she says.

My mouth drops open never in a million years did I expect that, I sit down with a thud on my bed and slowly everything slots together from the things I have been told. Dad's words go through my mind, '_we have a difference of opinion'_, oh my god my dad was abused, he told his mom and she didn't believe him, then everything he has said and she has said makes sense as do my grandfathers words that this will hurt my dad mort than anything, I work it all out in my head; she didn't believe him so he lived with it alone and then he told my mom and she confronted his mom with it and granddad found out and left her. I feel sick, and I am beyond shocked. A boy at our school was abused and taken away from his parents by Child Services but that was for being hit.

"He said you had a difference of opinion, what was it? You didn't believe him did you, you are his mom and you didn't believe him. He came to you for help and you didn't believe him?!" I am forgetting myself and I am shouting into my phone, tears are flowing thick and fast as I think of what my dad must have gone through and the next thing the door flies open and my father is standing there looking furious, I stare at him tears pouring down my cheeks.

"Denise you mustn't let your father know I told you this" she says.

"Too late, he is standing here right now and by the look on his face he knows exactly what you have just told me" I say.

My father grabs my phone "What have you told her?" he growls.

He closes his eyes and looks in pain, "Never ever speak to my children again" he says through gritted teeth and he hangs up and then he glares at me and I feel a little scared, so I walk confidently towards him and wrap my arms around him.

"Daddy, I'm sorry she didn't believe you, but mom did and I do too" I say desperately.

I feel him stiffen and then his arms go around me. "Sit down Dennie" he says.

I sit down on the bed and he sits beside me.

"You were very naughty going behind my back and calling her" he says, "How did you do it?" he asks.

I shrug, "When you dropped your phone I got her number from it before I gave it you back… I know your PIN number for your phone" I say. I look up at him and I swear I see a small smile of pride which he quickly hides.

"Why did you do it?" he asks.

"I wanted to know why she hated mom so much" I say.

My dad nods at me and pulls me closer "What did she say?" he asks. I quickly go through the conversation with him and he listens carefully.

"Denise, what she told you is something I never ever wanted you to know, it is very personal and private and it's not something I like to talk about but now you do and I want you to promise me never to speak of it again, and I certainly don't want you discussing it with your sisters" he says.

I nod, "Daddy I would never tell anyone" I say, "I'm sorry I pried into your private business but I wanted to know why you hate her and why she hates mom, but now I know I can understand why you didn't tell me, I'm kind of wishing I didn't know now" I say. My father hugs me tightly.

"That is why I am so angry at this moment, I don't want my past in your head, I wanted to protect you from that, but you know now and it can't be undone" he says. He sounds so sad I feel really bad about snooping.

"I'm sorry dad, I should never have done it" I say quietly.

"No you shouldn't, but you are a child. She should never have told you, no matter how much you pushed. She is the adult and she should have known better and not said anything" he says.

"Do you hate me for prying?" I ask nervously, I am worried now that dad will hate me for doing this.

My father gasps at my words and pulls me close, "I could never hate you Denise, you are my daughter and I love you. I am very angry with you right now for what you did but I do also understand why you did it, she said some nasty things about your mom and you just wanted to know why, but just remember I wanted to protect you, always remember that. I love you and want what's best for you" he says.

I nod and snuggle closer, we sit there in silence for a few moments then I make the decision to say something.

"There was a boy at our school, he was taken away from his mom and dad by Child Services because he was abused, but he was being hit… but she said you were sexually abused. We have been learning about it at school and how if anyone touches us in our private places we have to tell someone" I say.

My father stiffens and doesn't say anything so I continue to speak. "She didn't believe you though did she, when you told her that someone touched you in your private place?" I say and I look up at him.

He shakes his head slowly and the anger surges through me. I squeeze him with all my strength. "I believe you daddy, mom believed you, and granddad believes you because he left her, so who cares if she didn't believe you, because who is she anyway? I didn't even know who she was until she turned up, you have all the family you need dad, and all the people who really love you and care about you believe you so you don't need people like her in your life" I say.

My dad kisses my head, "You are so wise and mature Denise, some of the things you say astound me sometimes" he says.

We sit there for a few more moments and then my father lifts my chin up and looks closely at me. "Are you ok?" he asks.

I nod, "yeah, I wish I hadn't found out what I did but I understand better now and I'm sorry I did it" I say.

**(GIDEON)**

I am devastated, I can't believe what Denise did… well actually I suppose I can. She was confronted by my mother and told some hurtful things about her own mother, which I am still livid about. So it was inevitable really that she would try and find a way of finding out why my mother thought the way she did. I still can't believe my mother told her about my past; that was totally unforgivable. It's almost as if in her mind she is trying to get some sort of revenge for what Eva did to her and using my daughter to do it. But she is twelve years old for god's sake… the same age I was when I was first raped by Hugh. That thought makes me go cold. I quickly push those thoughts from my mind though. What the hell was she thinking and what does she think this will achieve? What upsets me most is the fact that now my daughter has my past in her head. When I am satisfied Denise is ok I head to my study and I call my father.

"Hello" he says when he answers.

"Dad, it's me something has happened" I say.

"Gideon, what's wrong?" he asks anxiously.

I sigh, "Where do I start? For starters, Raul was late getting to the girls at school but while they were waiting for him, my mother turned up at the school and spoke to Denise and Olivia, by all accounts she bad mouthed Eva to them before Raul got there and put a stop to it" I pause.

"Oh my god, are they ok?" my dad asks.

"Yeah, but that's not the end of it, Denise naturally wanted to find out why my mom hated her mom and so she took my phone and got my mothers number from it and called her" I say.

"What did she tell her?" he asks.

I laugh mirthlessly, "Oh she played a blinder dad, she not only told my daughter that I was sexually abused as a kid but she told her that Eva dragged that past up and it was Eva's fault that you left her" I say.

"You are fucking kidding me?" he says.

"I wish I was dad" I say sadly.

"Is she ok? I mean who in their right minds tells a twelve year old kid something like that?!" he shouts.

"I know" I say, "I think she is ok, we sat and talked about it. She said she was sorry that she had done what she did, and that she wished she didn't know, but I also got the impression she was angry at my mom for not believing me. She said… that everyone who matters believes me and that I didn't need her".

My dad laughs, "She is a very wise little girl" he says.

"She is" I agree.

"Do you need me to come over?" he asks me.

I think for a moment, "No I don't think so, as I say we talked and she seems to be ok, but I'm sure she will call you if she has any questions which I haven't answered" I say.

I hear Chris sigh before he speaks again, "Gideon, you have to remember she has lost her mother, and she is still grieving that loss and then this strange woman suddenly appears and starts saying things about the mother she loved, she is bound to want answers. I'm not condoning what she did going behind your back like that, but she wanted answers and she was determined she was going to get them… you know I always thought she was like you, but after her little performance today that was something Eva would have done!" he says.

I smile, "I thought that as well" I say.

We talk a while longer and then I hang up. I decide to call Christian for a chat as I am still reeling over the events of today.

"Christian how are you?" I ask as he picks up.

"Hi Gideon, I'm good thanks, what's up?" he says.

"Have you got time for a chat?" I ask.

"Sure, what's wrong bro?" he asks, the concern evident in his voice.

I sigh and tell him everything that has happened today, the silence on the line is lengthy and I'm guessing I have stunned my brother. Eventually I question if he is still there.

"Are you still there?" I ask.

"Yeah, I'm just... I have no idea what to say to you, what the fuck was that woman thinking!?" he says.

"I know, my thoughts exactly" I say.

"I have to say though, Dennie is a very smart girl" he says and I hear the pride in his voice.

"I know, I have to admit I am kind of proud of her for what she did, she was defending her mother the way Eva always defended me. She confronted her and now she knows what her grandmother is like, and I am grateful for that but I am still angry at her for going behind my back and doing it, but there is that part of me which understands why she did, what she did".

"Just concentrate on your family Gideon; it's you and your girls. You don't need that woman in your life and that is one thing Denise was totally correct about. You have all the family you need around you, people who love and care about you, you need to concentrate now on your girls and help them come to terms with their mother's death" Christian says to me.

"I fully intend to" I reply firmly.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

_Three Years Later..._

I have been sitting waiting for my daughter to come home, it is nearly 11:15 and I am rapidly losing my self control when she finally strolls in seemingly not caring one bit that I have been going out of my mind with worry and that my security team have been out looking for her, not to mention the fact that she is an hour and fifteen minutes late.

"What the hell do you think you are doing Denise and what time do you call this?" I snap coldly as she walks in, while trying to keep my rising temper under control.

I wait for her to say something, to explain herself as I quickly text my security team to tell them to stand down and stop looking for her. I am hoping she tells me what I already know but I am not optimistic, as my fifteen year old daughter has changed beyond recognition. She curses, she lies, and she treats me with contempt and I am worried because I have no idea how to handle it.

I admit that I tend to overlook the cursing as I am aware that I am probably more than a little responsible for her repertoire of colourful verbiage as I have forgotten myself many times over the years and come out with curse words in front of my children, and my brother isn't innocent of doing that either. Christian's language is terrible at times and with his tendency to raise the volume when he gets angry it was inevitable that my children would pick up some of the more interesting terms, but while I can forgive a little bad language I will not tolerate the lying and disrespect.

She told me tonight that she was with her friend Jenny at her house, so naturally when her curfew came and went I called Jenny's family. When I called Jenny's house to find out why she wasn't home, I discovered that she hadn't been there all night. It appears that she had called for Jenny earlier and Jenny's step mother told me that Jenny had told her she was coming here and they had left. I have tried to give her space and privacy and not have Raul trail around her and she has just thrown it back in my face, she must have known that he would stand down as soon as she reached Jenny's house and used that information to give him the slip. Well no more she will have security super glued to her side from now on. On receiving this information I immediately sent out a search party for her and interrogated my other daughters as to what they knew.

I remember my conversation earlier with Liv and Zoe...

_"Liv, Zoe come here a moment will you" I call._

_They both appear smiling up at me._

_"Girls, do you have any idea where Dennie went tonight?" I ask. Zoe immediately shakes her head and I believe her, at eight years old she isn't privy to Denise's plans and so I tell her she can go, I look at Liv and instinctively I know she knows something but doesn't want to betray her sister. I change tack and lead her to the sofa and sit beside her._

_"Olivia if you know anything, you have to tell me, because I am going out of my mind here I am so worried" I say._

_Liv looks at me and I see her thinking things over and she eventually nods._

_"I'm worried too dad, Dennie has changed, she met this boy and since she met him she has become really sneaky and she tells lies and cuts school, it's like she has become obsessed with him" she says._

_"What boy?" I ask, fear gripping me at Liv's words._

_"She met him a month or so ago and he is at college, he is quite a bit older than Dennie" she says._

_"Do you know his name?" I ask._

_Liv shakes her head, "No but I took a photo of her with him, when she skipped school to be with him. I told her not to go, and she gave security the slip and went so I got a photo in case anything happened so they could see who she went with, but she came back in time for the end of school so I didn't say anything. I'm sorry dad, but she made me promise not to say anything" Liv says._

_I nod, I am getting angrier by the second but I hang on to my self control and hold my hand out for Liv's phone. I look at the photograph and I close my eyes I know immediately who this boy is and it fills me with dread._

_"Landon" I say quietly._

_Liv looks at me, "do you know him dad?" she asks._

_I nod, "I do, his name is Josh Landon, and he is Ryan Landon's son" I say and Liv just nods and looks at me blankly, the name meaning nothing to her._

_I sigh and rub my eyes, "Ryan Landon and I have history, he owns LanCorp and he has made it his life's mission to try destroy me, because of what Geoffrey Cross did to his father" I say. "Since he and I became successful Ryan Landon took it upon himself to make a Cross i.e. me, pay for what Geoffrey Cross did to his family" I explain to Liv who is now staring at me , a panicked expression on her face. I stop speaking immediately horrified that I have just said so much._

"_Don't worry though Liv, I'm sure Denise will be fine" I say trying to quickly back peddle on my less than circumspect outburst._

_I think quickly, wondering if Ryan Landon is really behind this or if the apparent relationship between my daughter and his son is simply a coincidence. I wouldn't put it past him although I do have to admit that since it all came out all those years ago that Geoffrey Cross wasn't actually my father when Christian and I discovered we were brothers and that our father was in fact Joel Cross, Geoffrey's brother, Ryan Landon had toned down his endless crusade against me and went off my radar somewhat. However, the lingering animosity was always still there just under the surface and he still likes to play games and poke me with a stick from time to time to let me know he is still there and he does try and get one over on me at every possible opportunity and so I know that deep down he probably still holds a grudge and wants a Cross to pay for past sins, but the idea of him using my daughter and his son is low. I realise I am over thinking this so instead of driving myself insane with this information I decide to just call Landon and confront him._

_I thank Liv for her information and head to my study. After getting a personal number for Landon from Raul I pick up the phone and after taking a deep breath I call him._

_"Ryan Landon" he says as he picks up._

_"Landon, Cross here" I say sharply._

_There is a significant pause before he answers. "What do you want and how did you get this number?" he asks defensively. I can tell he is taken aback by my call, I realise then that I don't think I have ever actually phoned him and spoken to him directly._

_"I need to know if you and your son are targeting my daughter as part of your long standing irritating vendetta against me" I say bluntly, there is another long silence before he answers me._

_"What are you talking about Cross, have you lost your damn mind?" he splutters and he does sound genuinely insulted by that. "They are children do you think I would seriously sink so low as to go after them after what they have been through, losing their mother and everything?" he adds._

_"You came after me after the man who we all assumed at that point in time was my father died" I retort._

_There is a short silence before he responds defensively "Yeah well that was different, you weren't a child you were a grown man and an arrogant grown man who had built an empire and become obscenely wealthy as a result and people who were affected by Geoffrey Cross's fraud can't help but wonder where you got the money to start up your company"._

_I stare at the phone, not quite believing what I am hearing. "It is a matter of public record that all Geoffrey Cross's assets were seized, there was nothing left and you damn well know it" I say bitterly. I have had this levelled at me for years, but I have never been able to respond to these allegations as the way I acquired the start up money for Cross Industries wasn't entirely appropriate, as I got it through gambling and more specifically counting cards, something which I naturally don't want made public knowledge._

"_Yeah and you should also damn well know that I backed off significantly when it became public that Geoffrey Cross wasn't your sperm donor and if you had been paying any attention at all you would have noticed that I have backed off even more so since you lost your wife. I haven't done anything to you recently, but if you start making stupid slanderous accusations against me and my family I can quite easily reverse that decision" he fires back at me._

_"Don't do me any favours, I need to know you weren't behind the fact your son appears to be taking an unhealthy interest in my daughter" I say coldly, I think about what he has said though and although he has toned down his almost constant poking of me over the past decade or so he is still there and always has been in the background and is still a significant thorn in my side trying to undercut me in certain areas of business._

_"What?" Landon replies clearly this is news to him. "How do you know this?" he adds._

_I sigh, "My daughter has been behaving out of character for a few weeks now and I have just been informed that she has been seen with your son on numerous occasions, and I have evidence to prove this claim. I have discovered that she has been cutting school and it appears that he has been encouraging her to do so" I say._

_There is a significant silence before he replies and when he does his tone has completely changed from the aggressive one of a few moments ago, "Listen, I had no idea about this Cross" he says. "I am as shocked as you are and I will speak to Josh as soon as he comes home, you have my word" he says._

_"Alright, but let me be very clear, my daughter is fifteen years old and your son is nineteen which in itself is troubling, she is a minor. We both know what nineteen year old boys have on their mind and if he takes advantage of my daughter or hurts her in any way I will destroy him and you" I say._

_"I understand, I have two daughters and I would feel exactly the same way" Landon says immediately, " As I have said, I will talk to Josh tonight when he comes home, but I assure you I knew nothing about any of this" he adds._

_"Thank you" I reply and I hang up…_

I return to the present and I stand glaring at Denise and she looks at me petulantly.

"Have you been drinking?" I ask as I get a whiff of alcohol from her.

She grins at me, "Loosen up dad, you need to live a little" she says and goes to walk away.

I grab her arm, "Denise Christina Cross do not walk away from me" I snap coldly.

"For gods sake dad, its no big deal!" she retorts as she tries to yank her arm free of my grasp.

"Denise you are fifteen years old and the legal age to drink is twenty one so yes it is a big deal. What have you been doing and who have you been with?" I ask. She looks at me in silence, "and before you even think about lying know this, I called Jenny when you weren't home at 10 o clock and her step mother told me Jenny said she was here with you, so you need to start talking now!" I say.

I see unease on Denise's face as she realises she has been caught out.

"Look dad, I'm sorry I'm late but I've been enjoying myself and I lost track of time" she says in a slightly more civil manner.

I shake my head, "No Denise that isn't good enough I am your father and I was worried. I need to know where you were and who you were with" I say.

"NO!" she shouts "I'm not a little girl anymore dad, you can't control me. You can't pick and choose when you want to be a father! I am going out and enjoying myself, for the first time since mom died I'm doing something I want to do. All I have been is a surrogate mom to Zoe and Liv since mom died and I'm fucking sick of it, I want a life of my own!" she is crying now and she angrily wipes her tears away, I am reeling from her outburst as her words hit me like a punch in the gut.

"I had no idea you felt this way" I say quietly.

She shakes her head at me and she glares at me, her eyes are flashing and I realise there is a great deal of built up resentment just waiting to explode and she doesn't hold back she lets me have it both barrels.

"No you wouldn't, because since mom died all you have done is bury yourself in Cross fucking Industries. Ok I admit you have turned up to parents evenings and school functions and played the role of doting dad and you have taken us on trips and visits to Seattle to visit Uncle Christian and Aunt Ana but that is all, it has been playing a fucking role as you haven't really been there for us. Both Liv and I noticed it shortly after mom died but we understood and made allowances for you we knew you were hurting and needed time to come to terms with mom dying, but mom has been dead three years now and we are still here and we need you dad, especially Zoe. She was five years old when mom died she is eight now, and me and Liv have had to be there for her for everything because you weren't. Did you know she was being bullied since mom died? She came to me not you dad, _me_. I went to Raul and we sorted it between us. Did you know Liv was getting hassle from a boy who wanted to get into her panties? Who did she go for help – me! When Zoe is ill who does she turn to? Me! Liv started her periods… now I know that is something which dad's don't normally deal with but we don't have a mom to help us. I had to help her and go out and get her some tampons. I don't begrudge it dad because they are my sisters and I love them, but I'm not their mom. Aunty Ireland tries to be there for us as much as she can but she has her own life, she has met someone now and she can't be there for us like she used to be so that just leaves me… and dad I want to enjoy myself and act my age I want to have someone love me and tell me they will look after me and protect me and tell me everything will be ok, I want to be able to lean on someone and have them take my worries away instead me always being the one saying and doing that. I'm sick of me being the one doing the looking after!" she stops and I stare at her, I had no idea she felt like this and I feel like dirt as I know everything she has just said is right.

I walk over to her and pull her into my arms as she sobs into my chest. "I'm so sorry sweetheart" I say.

She hesitates a moment before she responds and that hesitation kills me as it makes me realise just how much I have fucked things up, but then slowly she wraps her arms around me, "This is all I want dad, you just to hold me from time to time and tell me everything will be ok" she says.

I walk over to the sofa and sit down with her. "Come on we need to talk" I say.

I realise with a total sense of shame that everything Dennie has said is true, it happened slowly so I didn't notice I was doing it, but I reverted back to my old ways of living for work and excluding myself from everyone. I told myself I was providing for my daughters and the fact I took them on trips and vacations and turned up for school events and parents evenings I convinced myself I was doing right by them but they needed me and I wasn't there for them.

"I'm sorry dad" Dennie says, I shake my head firmly.

"No baby girl you are right, totally right. I have not been there as I should have been for you and your sisters, and I'm sorry and I promise you now this minute that is all going to change, this has been the kick in the ass I needed" I say.

I watch her nod and she squeezes me, she seems to be working something out in her mind, then she looks up at me and speaks. "I've met someone dad" she says quietly.

"Oh?" I say and I wait, she needs to tell me I can't force her, this needs to come from her to try and rebuild what we have lost. She nods at me.

"He says he loves me dad" she says.

"Did he now" I say coldly.

I feel her stiffen at that and try to pull away but I just hold on to her. "Don't be like that dad, he is lovely… his name is Josh, he's 19 and he loves me" she says, I watch as her eyes light up as she speaks about him.

I sigh and shake my head, "Sweetheart, far be it from me to rain on your parade, but isn't he a bit old for you, and also I know what young boys are looking for when they tell girls they love them, they want to have sex " I say, "I don't want you to be pressured into anything you don't want to do, and I don't want you to be taken advantage of" I say.

I wait as Denise processes what I have said to her. She nods at me, "He loves me dad, and yes he is a bit older than me, but he hasn't done anything inappropriate" she says.

I look at her; I wonder if I should tell her that I know she has been cutting school to see him, I decide to do so.

"Denise, I know you have been giving security the slip and cutting school to see this boy, so if he is encouraging you to do that then that isn't exactly the right thing is it?" I say.

Denise looks at me, "who told you that?" she says.

"Never mind who told me, you have been found out, and so are you going to admit it?" I say.

She nods slowly, "yes but he didn't encourage me to do it because he didn't know I was cutting school, that was my decision. He thought I had a free period" she says.

I shake my head, "Dennie, you have been highlighted for fast tracking to graduation; you are a very bright girl, why would you do this? Cutting school would put that opportunity at risk?" I say.

She shrugs, "I find the work so easy and so I didn't think I would fall behind" she says simply. I shake my head, my daughter is incredibly bright and able, a straight A grade student and the teachers were concerned that she was getting bored and that is why they suggested fast tracking her, to try and stretch her a bit.

She looks hard at me, "Josh had no idea I was cutting school" she insists.

I nod, "Alright, I'll believe that for now but you need to be honest with me Denise, did this boy give you alcohol to drink?" I say.

She nods. "Sort of… not him exactly, you see Jenny is seeing his friend Mike and he has a fake ID and _he_ got the alcohol and we went back to Mike's place and we had a bit of a party just the four of us, and if I am totally honest Josh didn't really want to go and he said it wasn't a good idea" she says she looks down and I know immediately that something has happened.

"What happened Denise?" I ask.

"Nothing, well nothing happened to me I didn't like it there it wasn't a very nice house and we really didn't stay long. As I say Josh has always been a complete gentleman, he has never tried it on or anything but Jenny got really drunk and they – her and Mike, went off and well I think they had sex" she says.

"Ok, well that's between them and for Jenny's step mom to sort out if and when Jenny tells her" I say, but I am relieved by what she has told me about Josh Landon.

Denise nods at me, "I'm not stupid dad, I'm not going to do anything I don't want to do" she says.

"Alright, but I need you to know you can come to me any time, and you can tell me anything. I'm sorry you have felt you have been taking on the role mom to Zoe and I am sorry I haven't been the dad I should have been to you all and I promise you that changes from now, but having said that I am seriously pissed at you for lying to me but I also understand that you felt that you couldn't… So am I going to meet this boy?" I ask.

I watch as Denise's face lights up, "You want to meet him, really?" she says.

I nod and she hugs me tightly.

"Sure" she replies.

"Now isn't this better than sneaking around and lying?" I say as I hold her tightly in my arms and savour this moment.

Denise nods at me, I now realise I have to break this moment of reconciliation. "But the fact is you were over an hour late, and you lied about where you were, so you have to be punished for that" I say.

Denise nods and she looks resigned to her punishment.

"So… you are grounded for the rest of this week" I say, "You will come home from school and stay here, then at the end of the week you will call this boy and invite him over so I can meet him and we will take it from there" I say.

Denise nods at me once again.

Just as I finish speaking her phone rings, "This is Josh now" she says.

She answers, "Hi" she says. She looks at me, "yeah my dad found out I wasn't at Jenny's" I see her face harden as she listens.

"Wait, so my dad called your dad?" she says and she looks at me accusingly. "No, I didn't, I'm really sorry about that Josh... Ok, well my dad wants to meet you… Yeah he was pissed at me for lying and being late so I'm grounded for the rest of this week but he said he wants to meet you so will you do that?" I see her smile. "Ok thanks love you too Josh bye" she hangs up.

"You already knew about Josh?" she asks accusingly.

I nod, "Yes I found out and called his father to see if he knew about it, I know Josh's father from way back and I needed to know you weren't being used by them" I say.

"Why?" Denise looks at me, and I sigh and rub my eyes again.

"Because Josh's father is Ryan Landon and Ryan Landon's father was financially ruined by a man called Geoffrey Cross and since then Ryan Landon has wanted a Cross… namely me to pay for what happened to his dad. I wanted to be sure that you weren't being targeted but Landon was as surprised as I was by the news" I say.

"Who was Geoffrey Cross?" Denise asks and I hesitate not wanting to open up or have to explain that particular can of worms.

"My father's brother" I say evasively.

Denise nods in understanding, "Do you want me to break up with him?" she asks.

I shake my head, "no sweetheart, but I just want you to be careful" I say.

I hold my hand out for her phone, "Give me your cell phone, you are grounded remember". She stares at me and reluctantly hands it over. "You will get your phone back when you go to school tomorrow morning for safety then as soon as you arrive home each afternoon for the rest of this week you will give your phone to Raul. You are grounded and you won't have your phone to call your friends alright?" I say. She nods at me accepting what I have said, "You are also banned from using Skype or any other technological method of communication – defy me and I will remove your laptop" I say.

I watch her go to her room and I head to my study, everything that has gone down tonight has knocked me for six. I pick up my phone and call Christian, I know he has been having issues with Phoebe recently and didn't handle it very well so I know he will know where I am coming from.

I place the call and wait.

"Hello" I am surprised by the female voice and it throws me a little.

"Ana is that you?" I ask.

"Gideon! Hi, what can I do for you?" Ana replies.

"Erm, I was hoping to talk to my brother" I say.

There is a pause and then Ana quickly explains why she answered my brother's phone. "He left his phone with me as he is upstairs with Phoebe at the moment reading her the riot act. She has been seeing a boy from school and Christian caught them together… and lets just say they weren't playing cards" Ana says sarcastically.

"Shit, you mean he caught her... you know... having sex" I say.

"Got it in one! I thought he was going to kill her; she was already grounded because she sneaked out to be with this boy and gave her CPO the slip. Needless to say he has been fired, but then last night we went out for a meal and Christian made a point of leaving her here to teach her a lesson, well it appears that totally backfired on him as she was hoping that would happen. Jason was with us and Luke is on vacation at the moment so we had one of the new guys - Reynolds here, she told him she was going for a walk in the grounds and he let her go, and obviously he turned off the alarms while she was out of the house so nothing was set off when she came back and apparently she has figured out how to turn off the outside security cameras and she let this boy in and sneaked him up to her room. Then she went to the security office and told Reynolds she was back and going to bed. We came home and heard moaning coming from her room and Christian went in thinking she was ill or something and caught her in the act, I'm surprised you didn't hear him shouting in New York" she says.

"Wow and I thought I had problems!" I say. I am now feeling much better about my own situation with Denise

"Why what's wrong?" Ana asks and I hear the concern in her voice.

I sigh and tell her about my conversation tonight with Denise and what she said and what she has been doing. "I was hoping to talk to my brother and get his perspective on this but it appears he is having a worse time of it than I am" I say sadly.

There is a long pause and I know that I have shocked my sister in law. "Oh Gideon, I don't know what to say to you, at least she is being sensible from what you have said it sounds like she won't allow herself to be talked into something she doesn't want to do" Ana says.

"Yeah there is that" I say gratefully and I realise that yes my daughter is sensible and she won't be coerced into doing anything against her will.

"Phoebe has changed since she met this boy, Christian has had a background check done on him and well he comes from a good family but there is something about him which sets off alarm bells in our heads. I'm not sure what it is" Ana says.

"Well my guess is he won't be back after facing my brother in full rage" I say.

Ana laughs, "We can but hope!" she says.

I decide to end the call as it is clear that Christian is unavailable to chat at the moment and has enough on his plate without having to deal with my problems. "Tell Christian I called and I'm in for the rest of the evening, if he wants to call me and we can compare notes on our errant daughters" I say wryly.

"I will" Ana assures me, I hang up and I thank my lucky stars my daughter didn't do what Phoebe did. I don't think I would have been able to control myself if I had walked in on that scenario.

**oooOOOooo**

I am sitting in my living room sprawled on my sofa with a glass of bourbon; Denise is like a cat on a hot tin roof as we are waiting for Josh Landon to arrive. I am nervous about this, but trying not to show it. I am not happy that a nineteen year old boy is sniffing around my fifteen year old daughter, my brother has told me to knock it on the head, but as much as I want to do just that, I also want to cut my daughter some slack. I know this lenient decision is down to guilt I am currently drowning in for what I have done and how I haven't been the father I should have been since Eva died. It's probably not the best way to parent but I need to get my relationship back on track with her, and I need her to trust me and as far as I can see this is the only way I can achieve that. If I behave the way my instincts are telling me to all I will do is totally alienate her and she will never trust me again. We need to build our relationship back up from the depths it has sunk to. It is at this moment I really miss Eva, she would have known what to do for the best and she would have guided me.

There is a knock at the door and Denise rushes to it and invites him in. I hear her excited voice and I realise she really does like this boy. I watch as Josh Landon warily approaches me, his hand outstretched.

"Good Evening sir" he says politely.

I stare him down and he looks uncomfortable.

"Where are you planning on taking my daughter?" I ask as I accept his handshake.

"We are going to the cinema sir and I assure you that I will get her home by 10pm, I'm really sorry she was late home the last time we went out and that you didn't know she was with me, I have told Dennie she was wrong to you" he says and I watch Dennie flush at that. Oh this kid is good, he is telling me all I want to hear, but this only puts me on my guard even more.

"As long as you bring her home on time and safely" I say coldly.

"Yes sir" he replies.

"Are you going out with anyone else?" I ask as after hearing about this Mike character I don't like what I heard.

"Yes sir, we are meeting up with Jenny and Mike" he says, I note the tone of his voice as if he isn't totally on board with that idea.

I watch as he leads Denise away and my fists clench as I see his hand travelling towards her ass. I'm not happy about this and there is something about him I don't totally trust. Admittedly he said all the right things but deep down I know the reason I'm not comfortable – it's the fact that he is a Landon. I settle myself down for an evening of fretting about my daughter. I pick up my phone and call Raul.

"Do you see them Raul?" I ask.

"I do sir, everything is fine but I'll tail them and keep an eye on things as you requested" he says.

"Thank you, but don't let her see you though" I warn.

"Don't worry sir, she won't" he replies confidently.

I get more and more agitated as the evening wears on but 10 minutes before the curfew time of 10pm I hear the door open I look up and see Denise accompanied by Josh.

"Hi daddy" she says quietly, "Just thought I'd let you know I'm back" she says with a slight hint of smugness to her tone as she leans down and kisses my cheek.

"Hello sweetheart did you have a good time?" I ask.

"We did" she says. I glance at Josh who steps forward his hand once again outstretched.

"Now I have made sure Denise is home safely I'll say goodnight sir" he says.

I stand and shake his hand, "Goodnight" I say. It would appear I had nothing to worry about.

**(DENISE)**

"Thank you for coming to meet my dad" I say.

"No problem, you do know that it wasn't cool what you did, how are you going to get your dad to trust you if you pull stunts like that?" Josh says staring at me.

I nod, "I know that now, but dad has been really great about everything, our relationship is much better now since we talked and cleared the air" I say.

"That's good, after your dad called mine, my dad told me about the history between the Landon's and Cross's and how your dad thought my dad was behind me pursuing you" he says.

I laugh, "Yeah he spoke to me about it too, I think the bad blood runs deep and he was just suspicious" I say.

We have an excellent night, although I'm really not sure about Mike and I can't understand why Josh always has him hanging around. He seems to have taken a real shine to Jenny, as I watch them together I notice that he can't keep his hands off her. He is always touching her and holding her, he seems a little possessive but I'm sure Jenny would tell him to back off if she didn't like it, she has been really quiet since we went to Mikes place and she got drunk, I can't believe she actually got that drunk as it didn't look like she had that much to drink. I'm pretty sure she and Mike had sex that night, I just hope that they used protection as I know Jenny was a virgin and not on any birth control.

The film is pretty good and Josh sits with me with his arm around me but as always he is the perfect gentleman. I glance across to Jenny and Mike and I see that he has his hand up her shirt and he's feeling her tits and he is nuzzling her neck. I shake my head, Josh looks at me and I nod towards them, he shakes his head and we return our attention to the film.

Josh is adamant that he wants to get me home early as he wants my father to trust him, so as soon as the film ends we go our separate ways. Mike practically drags Jenny away and I have no doubt what they will be getting up to. Josh walks me home and comes up with me.

"Can I see you tomorrow?" he asks.

I nod, "sure" I reply.

"We'll go out for something to eat and take it from there?" he says.

I smile at him and touch his cheek, "sounds great, I press a kiss to his lips and he immediately wraps his arm around me and deepens the kiss. I feel him hardening between us and I glance down, he looks embarrassed.

"Ignore it, it will go away eventually" he says.

"Are you going then?" I ask.

Josh smiles, "It's only polite I say goodnight to your father" he says as he reaches for the door handle.

I raise my eyebrows, "You seriously think it's polite to speak to my dad with a raging hard on!" I say as I point at his straining pants.

He adjusts himself, "Let's just say the thought of speaking to your father is rapidly rectifying that little problem!" he says with a grin.

I laugh, "Hardly a _little_ problem" I whisper in his ear.

We walk inside and I head to the sitting room where my father is sitting trying to look relaxed and nonchalant and failing miserably. I know he has probably been fretting all night and I am grateful that he cares that much, even though I was accusing him of not caring at all only a few days ago. I know that Jenny doesn't have that sort of parental concern, her step mother couldn't give a damn and her dad is just wrapped up in his job and wife. I smile genuinely at my dad.

"Hi daddy" I say quietly, "Just thought I'd let you know I'm back". My dad looks at me and I see the tension around his eyes disappear.

"Hello sweetheart did you have a good time?" he asks.

"We did" I say. I watch my dad look at Josh, who steps forward his hand once again outstretched and I roll my eyes he is really stepping up the ass kissing.

"Now I have made sure Denise is home safely I'll say goodnight sir" he says.

I watch my dad stand up and accept his handshake and I feel relief flood me, he is making the effort to be nice to Josh and I appreciate and love him for that.

**oooOOOooo**

_One month later…_

Josh and I have been together openly with dad's blessing for about a month or so now, and things are progressing well. Josh was mortified that I had been cutting school and told me so and he made me promise never to do it again. So now I am a good girl and am open and honest with my dad.

Also since I had my meltdown that evening and told dad how I felt he has really turned things around. He is making a huge effort now and he is really here with us all. He is still not the dad I remember before mom died, but at least now he hasn't checked out completely. He is really sad, but I don't think he will be getting over moms death any time soon, but he is making a concerted effort with us now and being a _real _dad not just play acting as one and going through the motions. I'm realistic enough to know that he will never be the dad he was before mom died but he is making an effort now and it is loads better, his relationship with all of us has improved dramatically since that night, and because he is making an effort both Liv and Zoe have responded and we are all much closer as a result so I am really proud of him the way he has turned it all around.

"Good Evening Mr Cross" I watch as Josh greets my dad in the now familiar hand shaking ritual.

My dad smiles and greets him politely.

"Where are you two going tonight?" my dad asks.

"I thought we'd go and grab a burger at that new place which has opened as I've heard good things about it and then take it from there. I haven't any firm plans yet but I assure you I will keep Denise safe and bring her home on time" Josh says adamantly.

"Alright" my dad says, but I see a hint of worry on his face. "Have a good time" he adds as we turn to leave.

"Thanks dad, see you later" I call over my shoulder.

We head downstairs in the elevator and Josh wraps his arm around me. "I like your dad, he really cares about you" he says.

I nod, "He does" I say, "It's been really hard for him since mom died, it was almost like a part of him died when she did and as a result he got a bit lost for a while, but he is coming back to us now" I say.

"They really loved each other you only had to look at press pictures to see that. The way he looked at her, he adored her" Josh says. "Do you ever think he will re-marry?" he adds.

I shake my head, "I don't know, I don't think so. He doesn't date, he goes to work and comes home, and he doesn't even see his friends anymore. I mean when mom was alive they used to go out from time to time with some guys who dad works with on occasions but he just doesn't put himself out there and when he goes to social functions for the charities and stuff he supports he always takes Aunty Ireland as his plus one, but now she's seeing someone so the past few he attended he just went alone, but he is making more of an effort with us now as he completely checked out of being a dad for a while and our relationship has improved massively as a result" I say.

I look up as we leave the apartment block and start walking, "Are Mike and Jenny meeting us?" I ask.

Josh nods and I sigh, "What is it with him Josh, is he incapable of having a life without you?" I ask.

Josh shakes his head, "I don't know, he always seems to be around doesn't he" he says, I note the bitter tone of his voice and wonder what it's about. I put it out of my mind and we walk along in companionable silence. I look up and see Jenny waiting for us. She looks pale and Mike is beside her with his arm around her. She looks at me and she looks miserable, there is an almost haunted look in her eyes and I am immediately worried and anxious for my friend.

"Jenny, are you ok?" I ask.

"Of course she's alright Den" Mike answers immediately.

I stare at him, "Was I asking you?" I say and I return my attention to Jenny grasping her hand and asking her again if she is ok. Mike pulls her possessively from my hold and closer into his body.

"Josh you need to control your woman" Mike says as he glares at me.

I feel my anger rise and I push my finger into his chest, "Listen here buddy, nobody controls me, got it!" I say. I see anger flare in Mike's eyes and terror appears in Jenny's and I wonder what has been going on what has he been doing to her? I have never really liked Mike but I tolerate him as he is Josh's friend, but he always seems to turn up wherever we are.

I feel Josh pull me away, "Come on Dennie leave it" Josh says quietly. I look at him and I realise he is afraid of Mike as well. This puts me on my guard and I decide that I will make a point of getting Jenny by herself at some point and find out what is going on as recently Mike has been displaying behaviour which has raised more than a few red flags.

We go for a burger and I make a point of really watching Jenny and how she interacts with Mike, he keeps her close and has his hands on her all the time, he orders for her and I have noticed every time I ask her something he answers for her. Her body language is all wrong for someone supposedly in a relationship and she almost cringes when he gets too close to her, and looks like she has totally retreated inside herself. Why hadn't I noticed this before? All sorts of alarm bells are starting to ring and I know I need to get her alone.

"I need to pee" I announce suddenly and I nudge Jenny's leg with my foot under the table, she looks up at me and smiles weakly, understanding what I am getting at.

"So do I" she immediately says and goes to stand, Mike immediately pulls her down and holds on to her.

"Where are you going?" he asks glaring at her.

"I need to pee Mike, so I'm going to the bathroom with Dennie, I'll be back in a moment, and I won't be long" she is almost pleading with him to let her go, and that is wrong he can't tell her when she can have a fucking piss. I'm not having this so I stand up and remove his hand from her.

"I suggest unless you want her to piss on you, you shut your mouth and let her go now" I say.

Mike glares at me and I see his hands fist but he nods curtly, "You will be quick or I'm coming in after you and fetching you out" he says glaring at her.

I raise my eyebrows again, "No you fucking won't, if you do that mister I will have you arrested" I say.

I lead Jenny to the bathroom and as soon as we are inside I turn and with my hands on my hips I stare at her, "Ok spill what has he done to you?" I say. I watch as her lip quivers and then to my horror she collapses in tears on me.

"Oh god Dennie, he's a monster. When we are together he wants sex _all_ the time, as you have just seen he won't let me out of his sight when we are together, when we are apart he is constantly calling me and texting me. He tells me what to wear, and how to act, I'm scared of him Dennie" she says.

"Why the fuck haven't you said something sooner?!" I exclaim.

"He told me that our relationship was our business and I wasn't allowed to talk to you about us, he said he would find out if I did and there would be consequences" she sobs.

I think quickly, "Ok I've got this" I say. I call Raul he answers immediately and I quickly outline the situation, he tells me we need to get out of there and to bring Jenny back home with us and that he is on his way now to help us do just that.

He tells me to keep us all at the burger place and he will be with us in about 2 minutes. I am surprised he will be with us so quickly and then it dawns on me that my father must have had him follow us. But at this moment I am grateful for that. I thank Raul and hang up and tell Jenny the plan and I assure her my dad will help her. She smiles a hopeful and grateful smile and hugs me tightly.

Suddenly I hear banging on the door and Jenny's name being called. I watch her jump violently and freeze at the voice and she starts to shake uncontrollably and I quickly take charge of the situation. I push her into the stall and tell her to lock the door. She does as I ask as I stride over to the door and yank it open.

"Are you out of your fucking mind?" I spit angrily at Mike.

I am shocked when he grabs me by the throat and pins me against the door he is squeezing my throat and snarls into my face, "I know what you are doing Den, you want Jenny to break up with me, don't you? Well its not going to happen do you hear me she is mine now and nobody is going to take her away from me".

I am having trouble breathing as he squeezes my throat, so I do something which Aunt Ana showed me and told me to do if anyone attacked me. I bring up my knee and knee him in the balls hard. He releases me immediately as he groans in pain and doubles up. As he falls to his knees I kick him between the legs hard.

"You fucking touch me again you piece of shit and you will regret it" I say.

"You fucking bitch you have made the biggest mistake of your life you will regret doing that" he screams and lurching to his feet he hurls himself at me and I move out of the way and trip him and he crashes to the floor.

I look up to see Raul and Josh appearing; Josh takes in the situation and grabs me checking me over. "Did he hurt you?" he asks anxiously.

I nod, "Where the fuck were you?" I accuse glaring at Josh "He grabbed me by the throat and threatened me, so I kicked him in the balls" I say.

Josh pulls me into his arms as Raul drags Mike to his feet and whispers something in his ear, before frogmarching him out. He turns and speaks to me over his shoulder.

"You need to go and get in the car Denise, it's just outside. Take Jenny and Josh and wait there for me" he says.

I knock on the stall door and Jenny opens it she is shaking and I wrap my arm around her, and we head out to the car. I open the door and climb in we all sit in the back. Josh, Jenny in the middle and then me, we have our arms around her as Raul appears and climbs in, he hangs up the phone which he was talking on as he was approaching the car, and as he starts the car he turns and looks at us all.

"Are you all ok?" he asks.

We all nod but don't say a word. The drive back to the Penthouse is in silence apart from Jenny who is crying quietly.

The elevator doors open and we see three adults looking worried and scared, my dad is standing there and he strides forward and grabs me pulling me to his chest and he holds me tightly. I see Jenny's dad and she falls into his arms sobbing, Josh looks at the third man standing looking worried but also very uncomfortable.

"Are you alright Josh?" the man asks.

"I'm fine dad" he says and he puts his head down.

"I thought you had cut all contact with Mike Foster?" Josh's dad says angrily.

"He wouldn't let me dad, he is a fucking psychopath" Josh says.

Jenny's father immediately rounds on him at this, "so you introduce him to my daughter?!" he says.

"I'm sorry, I never meant for it to happen" Josh says helplessly.

My dad pulls away from me and tells everyone to calm down and we head into the penthouse and sit down. I feel happier now; I am confident that my dad will know what to do.

We all sit down and our fathers demand we tell them everything.

Josh starts and he tells how he has tried to cut Mike loose and how he can't rid himself of him.

I speak next and tell of what he did to me tonight, I see my dad getting angry and then as he gently examines my neck I watch as he balls his hands into fists, then he turns to Josh and glares at him.

"Where the fuck were you when that animal had his hands on my daughter?" he spits.

Josh looks like a deer caught in the headlights and I feel sorry for him as he seems to be getting blamed by everyone for Mike's actions.

"I'm so sorry Mr Cross, the girls went to the bathroom and I thought they'd be safe so I took the chance and went to the men's bathroom and when I returned Mike had vanished I looked around for him and then as I was going to the ladies bathroom because it occurred to me that he had probably gone there, your security guy came charging in and asked where the ladies bathroom was, I swear I had no idea he would do something like that" Josh says.

My father nods, and I reach out and touch his hand, "Don't blame Josh dad" I say quietly. My father looks at me and nods again but he continues to glare at Josh.

I look at Jenny, "Jen you need to tell everyone what you told me" I say.

I watch as Jenny blanches and shakes her head, her father pulls her into his arms. "Jenny baby you have to, we have to stop this boy, as he is clearly dangerous" he implores.

Jenny nods and her voice shaking slightly she begins to speak.

"Daddy, promise me you won't do anything stupid because I can't loose you, you are all I have" she says with fear in her eyes, at these words my dad and I look at each other and I shuffle closer to him and climb on to his knee. I know I'm 15 years old but I feel exactly the same way since mom died. Jenny's mom died when she five so all she has known is just her father, until he remarried a few years ago, something Jenny wasn't too enthusiastic about as she doesn't really like her step mom.

I turn my attention back to Jenny as she starts to speak.

"When Dennie started seeing Josh, Mike would always turn up a few minutes later wherever Josh was you could guarantee Mike would be there at some point, even if Josh came alone. Anyway, I was with Dennie and Josh one day and Mike turned up and he suggested we make a foursome. Josh wasn't keen, he tried to make excuses that he and Dennie had made plans and that I was going somewhere but Mike wouldn't listen. He did try daddy, he tried to stop Mike. I thought he seemed nice, just shows how wrong you can be and how you can misjudge people. He asked me to be his girlfriend, he said he liked me and I agreed. Josh tried to warn me not to but I didn't listen and I regret ever doing that because as soon as I did, he started to become so possessive. He started turning up wherever I was, at first I thought it was nice but it soon became old especially when he tried to separate me from my friends and then he kept saying he wanted to have sex with me. Then one night he produced this fake ID and he got some alcohol. Dennie and Josh both said they didn't want to but he insisted and so we all went back to his place. I really didn't have that much to drink but I started to feel really ill and the next thing I know he was taking me to his room, I tried to tell him I didn't want to but he wouldn't listen he said he loved me and that if I loved him I would have sex with him. I said I didn't want to have sex with anyone but he just wouldn't listen he was all over me I couldn't push him off... it was horrible" she breaks down and sobs, I feel my father starting to shake, and he pushes me off his knee and then crouches down beside Jenny.

"Jenny listen to me" he says gently, Jenny looks up at him as her own father sits looking totally horrified. "You need to answer this, when you had sex - did you say no" my father says.

Jenny bursts into tears, "I said no I didn't want to, I kept saying no and I tried to push him off but he was too strong and he hurt me and I started to bleed he said it was because I was a virgin and it was normal but it hurt so bad" she says. Since then he won't leave me alone every time we are alone he pushes himself on me and makes me have sex with him. I say no every time and tell him I don't want to but he just won't listen and does it anyway".

"How many times has this happened to you Jenny?" my dad asks her gently.

She shakes her head and shrugs, "I've lost count… too many times" she says.

"And every time you said no?" my dad asks.

Jenny bursts into tears and nods, she leans forward and rests her head on my fathers shoulder and he wraps his arm around her, "It's alright Jenny, you have been very brave telling us this and we all believe you and I promise that it won't happen to you again" he says.

My father eases her off of him and rises to his feet and he pulls Jenny up and hands her over to her father, and as he does so he speaks, "You have all my resources at your disposal to convict this boy and have him charged with rape. Due to Jenny's age he can be charged with statutory rape anyway".

He turns his attention to Jenny once more and places his hand on her shoulder, "We believe you Jenny" he says firmly.

I look at my dad, something has really got to him about this and I wonder what it is, then a faint memory starts to enter my head, a memory from a couple of years or so ago just after mom died, a conversation I had with my dad's mom. A memory I had suppressed and forgotten about until now, where his mom and told me that my dad was sexually abused when he was a kid. No wonder he is reacting to this and as I remember that time I suddenly remember how his mom never believed him and I realise the significance of him repeatedly telling Jenny that we all believe her. Jenny's father takes Jenny and promises her he will do everything he can to help her and he thanks my father for his offer. Josh's dad and Josh stand looking uncomfortable.

"Look, if it's ok with you guys Josh and I will be going" Mr Landon says.

We all turn and look at them. I walk to Josh and hug him, he feels bad about all this but it's not his fault. I look up and see my father and Josh's dad staring at each other, hesitantly Josh's dad holds his hand out to my dad and my dad accepts it. I have a feeling that this is a momentous thing for these two men, as the animosity they have for each other is being put aside.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

I am concerned about my dad's reaction to Jenny's admission that she was raped by Mike. Now I have remembered that faint memory from a few years ago I realise it is not unexpected. I decide to go and talk to him about it and check that he is ok. Everyone has gone now and my sisters are in bed. I find my father in his study and what I find worries me a little, as he has his head in his hands and he looks dreadful. He looks up at me and manages a weak smile.

"Hello sweetheart are you ok?" he asks with obvious concern, but I ignore his question and jump in with my own thoughts.

"Dad, you seem to have been really badly affected by what happened to Jenny" I say carefully.

My father nods, "I'm not made of stone, of course I was affected" he says sharply.

I frown at his defensive reaction and move closer, "Dad it was more than that, when Jenny was talking about it you started shaking I felt it" I say.

My dad shakes his head, "I don't want to discuss it Denise" he says firmly. His eyes soften as he looks at my surprised expression. "I was just thinking about what if he had done that to you, he attacked you tonight Denise and he could easily have done something to you". I hear my father's voice crack a little as he says this.

I go to him and climb into his lap again, and he pulls me close. "But he didn't dad" I say.

My father wraps his arms around me and holds me tightly almost as though he is trying to shield me. "That boy is dangerous and severely disturbed you need to keep away from him" he says firmly.

I nod, "I realise that now" I say.

He pulls me even closer, and much to my surprise he starts to talk. "When you were born and I held you in my arms and I promised you I would always protect you and you would never be a victim, like Jenny has become, thankfully he didn't touch you in that way but I have still failed you, as he managed to physically attack you" he says as he touches my bruised neck gently. I listen to him and I there is something about his words which unnerve me.

I sit up and look at him, "Dad, this is about what happened to you as well isn't it?" I say as the conversation with his mother all those years ago pops into my head once more.

My father hesitates and looks at me carefully. He swallows hard and he takes a deep breath, he is clearly considering what he wants to say and wondering if he should say anything but when he does speak I wasn't expecting what he says.

"Your mother was raped when she was a little girl. It left her traumatised and I also saw firsthand what that kind of violation does to a person" he stops speaking and I stare at him.

I had no idea; well you wouldn't, as it's not the sort of thing a person broadcasts. He looks at me carefully before he continues.

"I am trusting you with this information Denise, I don't want you to gossip or discuss what I have said with anyone" he continues.

I nod, "Of course" I say. "And you helped mom… get over it… I mean not get over it but…?" I ask hesitantly.

He nods, "We helped each other" he says sadly. I stare at him and process what he has just said. The vague memory of that conversation I had with my father's mother shortly after mom died looms even clearer in my mind.

"Dad, what exactly happened to you?" I ask immediately.

I see my father's face close down at my words, and he doesn't say anything.

"Daddy answer me" I say and I shake his arm.

I watch as my father starts to breathe quicker and he shakes his head, tears in his eyes. He grips me tightly. "I don't want to discuss this with you Denise, I just wanted you to understand why what Jenny said tonight affected me so badly" he says sharply.

I touch his arm as horror and then compassion fill me, "You don't have to dad, your reaction tells me everything I need to know" I say.

My father slowly nods, and then to my amazement he starts to speak, "That is also the reason why I don't have anything to do with my mother, I went to her for help like Jenny came to us and she didn't believe me" he says quietly. "Your mother started a crusade to prove to her that I had been telling the truth all my life and she and your Aunt Ana gathered evidence to prove to her I had been telling the truth and confronted her, that was when your grandfather found out about it and he was so disgusted that he hadn't been informed that was when he left my mother" he says.

I listen and I remember the details from back then and what my father is saying now and it sounds familiar. I am shocked to the core and I'm rigid not daring to move in case in case it stops him from speaking. I can't believe my dad is telling me all this. The emotions are coursing through me the overwhelming one at this moment is hatred for that woman, I won't call her my grandmother and I won't call her my fathers mother as she is nether to me or him.

"Thank you for telling me dad, I say when I am sure he has finished speaking, "As you were talking I realised that I have heard this before a few years ago after mom died and I spoke to that woman, she told me you had been sexually abused, and that mom had confronted her about it and she tried to blame mom".

He nods at me, and then looks at his watch. "Come on its time for bed" he says, he sounds so aloof and distant and I am shocked by the sudden change of subject.

I grab his wrist and look at his watch, "Dad! Its only 11:30!" I exclaim.

"No arguments Dennie bed!" he says. I look at him, it is clear he wants to be alone and I decide to give him that. I press a kiss to his cheek and wish him goodnight.

I leave him in his study and go to my room. When I get there I think over the things my dad has told me, I remember what he said about how my mom got evidence to confront that woman and I recall him saying Aunt Ana helped her. I have an overwhelming desire to call my aunt and talk to her and ask her about it. My dad said he didn't want me discussing what he had said with anyone but I took that to mean my sisters and people who were unaware of his and my mother's pasts but he has just told me that Aunt Ana knows about it. I pull out my phone and make the call. It rings out for a few moments and then I hear my aunt's voice.

"Hello" she says, I automatically smile when I hear her voice.

"Aunty Ana, it's me Denise, how are you?" I say.

"Denise! How lovely to hear from you, I'm absolutely fine, how about you?" she says.

"No...Well, no... erm kind of, I mean" I stammer.

"Denise what's wrong?" my aunt says concern evident in her voice.

My confidence rises as I hear the concern and I know that I am doing the right thing by talking to her. "Some stuff went down tonight, bad stuff" I start.

"Ok, what's happened?" she asks gently.

I feel as though I have no idea where to start with all of this "I feel like my head is going to explode all the stuff that has happened" I blurt out.

"Well take your time and lets talk it through" she says gently and her quiet voice soothes me.

I make myself comfortable on the bed and start to speak.

"You know I'm seeing Josh and we go out regularly now?" I begin.

There is a brief silence and then my aunt responds, "Yes, your father met him about a month or so ago didn't he?" she says.

"Yes that's right, well we went out tonight and we met up with Josh's friend Mike and my friend Jenny and that's when it all started to unravel. I noticed Jenny looked... she looked... ill not sick but scared and not right. I tried to ask her and Mike kept answering for her, I told him to back off and he got really angry about it. I managed to get Jenny alone at one point, but we had to go to the bathroom to do it and Mike even had a fit about her doing that, and she admitted to me that he had ..." I trail off and I let out a sob, "he's an animal Aunty Ana, he's raped her loads of times, she was a virgin when they met and he fucking raped her, sorry I shouldn't have said that".

"It's alright darling you just keep talking and tell me however you want" she says quietly.

"Ok" I say, I take another deep breath and continue, "Well… she was telling me what he did to her, when he came to the ladies bathroom and tried to get in. I told Jenny to lock herself in the stall and I confronted him, he was so angry he grabbed me by the throat and pushed me up against the door, but I remembered the self defence moves you showed me and I kneed him in the balls. He let go and doubled over and I kicked him. Raul and Josh arrived and got us out of there. We all came back home and my dad had called Jenny's dad and Josh's dad and they were here waiting for us when we arrived. Josh told us how he had tried to distance himself from Mike but how Mike wouldn't let go and how he intimidated him. I told how he had attacked me tonight because I was protecting Jenny and then the worst bit was when Jenny told us all everything that he had done to her, and how he tried to control her and take her over, it was horrible to listen to and my dad got really upset about it and he told Jenny's dad that his resources were at his disposal to convict Mike. After everyone had gone I went to talk to my dad to see if he was ok after what Jenny had said and I had remembered a conversation I had with my dad's mom a few years ago which I had blanked from my memory about him being abused and I realised that was why dad was so upset about Jenny. I tried to talk to him but at first he tried to brush me off saying anyone would have been affected by it, but then he started to open up he told me something I didn't know. He told me that mom had been raped when she was a girl and how it had affected her, he said they helped each other, he also told me that his mom didn't believe him when he had been abused and that's why they don't get on, he also told me that mom got the evidence to confront his mom and you helped her, which I remember from my conversation with his mom a few years ago because she blamed my mom for all that" I stop speaking and wait.

There is a pause before my aunt speaks, and when she does she is clearly shocked by what she has heard, "Wow, Denise that was some night!" she starts. "First of all are you alright after what that boy did to you?" she asks.

"I am, I'm fine honestly, my neck is a bit sore but I'm ok" I say.

"Good" she replied in relief, "Yes it is true, your mom and I got the proof from a relative of the man who abused Gideon and who shielded him. He admitted what he had done and we took that evidence to Elizabeth, she initially accepted it and apologised to Gideon especially when Chris reacted to it but that was all just an act to keep Chris on side but he left her anyway, and that was when her relationship with your father totally disintegrated" she hesitates for a moment, "Denise, how is your father now?" she asks warily.

"I'm not sure" I reply honestly, "it really seemed to knock him for six when Jenny told us what had happened. I was sitting with him and he just started shaking. Now he just seems ... I don't know really distant and really sad" I say.

"That's worrying" my aunt says.

"Why?" I ask.

"Denise I need you to listen to me carefully, you need to call your grandfather and get him to come and spend the night with you all, just in case" she says.

"Just in case what?" I ask totally confused by my aunt's words.

"Your father… he used to suffer from terrible night terrors, he suffered for years but through therapy, medication and the love of your mother he managed to overcome them, but I worry that after tonight and what has happened to your friend and to you that this has dredged up some memories and it could trigger a night terror… and believe me Denise you do not want to be in the same room as he is when he has one. He is asleep and he doesn't know what he is doing and it would destroy him if you saw him like that or if he accidentally hurt you if he has one, so you need to call your grandfather and get him to come, so promise me you will do that?!" she persists.

"Ok I will" I say.

We talk for a few more minutes and then she wishes me good night. I immediately call my grandfather.

"Hello" his familiar voice makes me relax.

"Granddad I need your help" I say.

"What's wrong Denise, what's happened?" he asks immediately on alert.

I quickly outline the events of tonight and what Aunt Ana said and his reaction is swift and decisive.

"I'm on my way, where is your dad now?" he asks.

"I think he went to bed" I say.

"Alright, well you need to go to bed now, I'll call Raul and tell him I'm coming over and if you hear anything coming from your fathers room you must NOT under any circumstances go to him. Do you understand me? You must stay away and make sure your sisters do as well" he says.

"Ok" I say, I wonder what on earth my father does during these night terrors but after the dire warnings from both my aunt and grandfather I know I really don't want to find out.

**(GIDEON) **

_I'm walking along the beach it's warm and sunny and I am barefoot and shirtless I can feel the warmth on my body and sand between my toes, I feel hands on my arm and I look around and she's standing there smiling at me, she's here with me, my Eva._

_I fling my arms around her and pull her down into the sand and my mouth crashes against hers and I devour her, I am desperate for her._

_"__Eva" I gasp, as my hands travel all over her body, she doesn't speak she just looks at me and smiles at me. I want to feel myself inside her and I scramble to release myself. I push up the white sundress she is wearing and tear at her panties. I need her, she giggles and strokes me and I nearly come there and then, I push my fingers inside her and she is ready, so ready for me and before I can think I am thrusting inside her, the feeling is unbelievable its like coming home I can't stop kissing her she touches my shoulders and runs her hands all over me, I shiver and shower her with kisses, all too soon I throw my head back and I am coming violently inside her and I call out her name. I look down and Eva is gone and looking up at me grinning is Anne Lucas I pull away quickly._

_"__NO" I scream, I look around wildly, "EVA, EVA" I scream, but she is gone._

_"__Come on Gideon, she's gone, but you can still have me" Anne says as she grabs me from behind and starts stroking me._

_"__NO GET OFF ME" I scream, I look down and it's no longer a female hand, no this can't be happening. I fight and I punch but I can't release myself, the sand is sucking me down and my childhood tormentor is back as Hugh's voice comes to me in my ear._

_"__You know you like it, because you come every time" he pants, I feel sick and I try and pull him off but he is just too strong and sand is gripping my legs._

_"__GET OFF ME"I scream._

_Then I feel him enter me and I feel like I am being ripped apart, "GET OFF ME, IT HURTS" I arch my back and try and get him off, then I hear a voice._

_"__Gideon, its alright, Gideon" I look up desperately searching and I see Chris charging down the beach coming towards me._

_"__HELP ME" I yell._

_"__Gideon, Gideon," he shouts._

_"__Dad help me!" I gasp as I sink further into the sand._

_Gideon, Gideon, Gideon…_

"Gideon, wake up!"

I open my eyes, I'm panting, I'm covered in sweat and I'm shaking. I feel sticky and wet I look around and I'm in bed, the sheets are tangled around my legs and sitting beside me is Chris looking concerned.

"It's ok Gideon, it was just a dream" Chris says gently, he moves towards me and touches my hand and I jump violently.

"Sorry, sorry, it's ok" he says.

"Dad?" I ask in confusion as I try and pull myself together and realise I am safe and at home.

"I'm here, and you are safe" he says gently and he hesitantly squeezes my hand.

"Shit, I've not had one of those for years" I say. I panic slightly as I remember my daughters."My girls are they ok?" I ask.

Chris nods, "They're fine, they're asleep don't worry" he says.

I let out a shuddering sigh, "Why are you here?" I ask as it dawns on me that it's the middle of the night and my step father is sitting in my bedroom.

"I'll explain everything but first come on and lets get you cleaned up" he says I look down at myself and I feel my face heat with shame and I put my head down as there is semen all over me and the sheets.

"Hey come on, you have nothing to be ashamed about" he says, "Go and get in the shower and I'll change your bed sheets" he adds.

I nod and obediently head to my bathroom, I turn on the shower and stand under the ice cold torrent and let the sting of the water hit me. I press my hands against the tiles and I start to sob. I hear Chris approaching and I quickly pull myself together and wash myself. He is holding a fresh towel and he leaves it outside the shower for me. When I have finished I walk back into my bedroom and see the bed is remade and the dirty sheets are in a pile in the corner. Chris is nowhere to be seen, so I pull on some pyjama bottoms and go to look for him.

As I leave the bedroom I hear voices and I pause to listen.

"Is he ok Granddad?" I hear, and my heart sinks, I must have woken Dennie.

"He will be sweetheart, just give him time" is the reply.

"He sounded like he was in pain" Dennie says, and I can hear the worry in her voice.

"I know he did, but it was just a dream and it's over now, but if you ever hear him like that you must _not_ go near him because he could hurt you do you understand me?" Chris says.

I feel an even deeper sense of shame consume me as I hear him say that, and also a feeling of dread, that I could be a danger to my own daughters.

"I understand and I promise I won't" she says.

"Ok, well you need to get to bed now Dennie because it's late" Chris says firmly.

"Ok goodnight Granddad" she says and I hear her approach. Before I can move away the door opens and Dennie looks at me.

"Dad, are you ok?" she asks.

"It was just a bad dream" I say hoarsely.

She looks closely at me, and then without hesitation, she walks up to me and wraps her arms around my waist.

"I'm sorry if I woke you, did you call your grandfather?" I ask.

She nods at me, "yeah, I was talking to Aunty Ana earlier about everything that went down tonight and how it had upset you and she said that it would be best to call Granddad because she thought you may have a nightmare" she explains.

"Did she? I see, well you did the right thing" I say as everything now all makes perfect sense.

"Dad?" she asks warily.

I look at her, and she swallows, then in a tiny voice, she asks, "I heard what you were screaming, you sounded in pain, dad… someone raped you too didn't they?"

I stare at her I don't want to answer it, "I'm sorry you heard that" I say.

"Dad, you stopped having these nightmares, don't let what happened to Jenny set you back" she says.

"Look you need to go to bed" I say firmly.

I kiss her cheek and point to her room; she nods at me and gives me squeeze before she disappears into her room. I head out to the kitchen where Chris has two mugs of something steaming hot in his hand.

"What's that?" I ask.

"Cocoa" he says, "I found it in your cupboard, I thought a milky cocoa drink would relax you" he says.

I smile, "You sound like Angus, he always made me a mug of hot Horlicks though" I say.

"Well if you would prefer that I can make you one, as I saw a jar of that in there too" he says.

I shake my head, "No cocoa is fine" I say and I reach for the mug he is offering me and take a sip. "Thank you" I say.

"Gideon, do you want to talk about it?" Chris asks gently.

I think for a moment, it was always part of my therapy to talk about what happened in my dreams and Eva always got me to talk it out, I want her so badly at this moment it hurts. I close my eyes.

"I was on a beach, I don't know where as it didn't look anywhere familiar, but Eva was there and we made love it was wonderful but then it changed… it all turned bad and he was there" I deliberately miss out mentioning Anne as I don't want to get into that discussion. "He was there and he grabbed me and I couldn't get away and the more I struggled the more I kept sinking into the sand and then he... he..."I shake my head and Chris reaches for me and pats my knee.

"It's ok Gideon, I know what happened the way you were screaming in pain it was obvious what he was doing, but you need to know one thing" I look up at him.

"At the start of your dream… when you... you know... you looked happy so you have nothing to be ashamed about. You are missing your wife and the intimate times you spent together and it just got muddled up with the bad stuff from your past and that is probably down to what happened tonight and is a one off but I think you need to call Dr Flynn and talk to him about this".

I nod, "I will, and it's not the first time that has happened – I have dreamt about Eva before… since she died and I've dreamt about making love to her and I have been in a mess when I woke up but that's the first time it turned into my past nightmare, so you are probably right its a reaction to what I heard tonight, but I need to knock it on the head before it becomes a problem again" I say.

Chris drinks his cocoa, and looks closely at me as I finish mine. "Are you going back to bed now?" he asks

I nod, "dad will you stay please?" I ask quietly.

He smiles at me, "Of course I will, you don't need to ask, I was planning to anyway," he says.

I scrub my hands over my face. "I think I need to get away for a while, I think I'll take the girls and go and stay with Christian in Seattle. While I am there I can have a few face to face sessions with John. The school breaks up for the summer at the end of the week so I'll give Christian a call and see if we can go and stay with him" I say.

"Don't you have your own apartment in Seattle?" Chris asks.

I shake my head, "I sold the place after Eva died, when we went to Seattle we always seemed to end up staying with Christian and Ana and so we hardly ever used it and after Eva died I didn't see the point in keeping it and when I take the girls to Seattle now we always stay with Christian and Ana so I got rid of it" I say.

"Oh I see" Chris says.

"Anyway, I suppose I'd better be getting to bed, we both need to get some sleep before its time to get up" I say. I stand and Chris stands with me and we walk towards the bedrooms.

I turn to look at the man who has come to mean so much to me, "Goodnight dad" I say quietly.

Chris embraces me, "Goodnight Gideon" he replies.

**oooOOOooo**

I lie in bed gathering my wits, the sun is pouring through the curtains and I think back to my nightmare last night. I feel guilty for the fact Dennie had to call Chris to come and sit with me, but grateful that Ana had persuaded her to just that and to warn her. I dread to think what would have happened if she had come and innocently tried to wake me from my nightmare. I go cold at the thought. The way I attacked Eva in my sleep a few times when we were first together, the thought of doing that to my daughter fills me with dread and revulsion and I feel physically sick. I make the decision there and then to call John Flynn today and arrange some more therapy sessions with him. I smile at this decision, to embrace therapy so readily. Eva had taught me that not all therapists were monsters, and my brother had learnt to trust John Flynn and had recommended him to me and from that first time I had met with him I hadn't looked back, until now.

I head into the shower and I think about the mornings and evenings I'd spend in this shower with Eva. I miss the intimacy more than anything, I can't bring myself to masturbate and find my sexual release that way and I know I will never fuck another woman, there can be no-one after Eva. The pain in my chest as I think of my wife tightens and I rub it. It's been three years since Eva left me and it still feels as raw as if it had happened yesterday. I try and show a positive face to my girls and to the outside world because everyone expects that after this amount of time I should be over it, but how can you ever get over losing the other half of your soul?

I get out the shower and dress and head downstairs to the kitchen. Liv and Zoe are sitting around the table eating breakfast with Chris and Dennie is serving them some pancakes which she has freshly cooked. She looks at me as I walk in and immediately brings me a mug of coffee. I take it gratefully.

"Would you like some pancakes dad? Zoe wanted pancakes for breakfast so I made some for everyone?" she asks.

I smile, "That would be lovely, thank you" I say.

I am not a big breakfast fan but since I had children and had to encourage them to eat properly I had to lead by example and I do have breakfast now more often than not. I take a seat at the table next to Zoe who is busy tucking into her pancakes.

"Morning daddy" she says between mouthfuls of pancake.

I wrap my arm around her and place a kiss on her head, "Good morning pumpkin" I respond.

A few moments later and a plate of pancakes are placed in front of me.

"Thank you sweetheart" I say to Dennie as she takes her place at the table.

"Why are you here Granddad?" Liv asks suddenly.

I freeze and glance at Chris and then at Dennie.

Chris smiles amiably at Liv, "I came by last night to talk to your dad and it was late so I just crashed here when we had finished talking" he says. I relax, he hasn't lied to her but he hasn't told her the whole truth either.

We sit and chat about our plans for today, the girls are all eager to finish school for the summer. I tell them that I should be home early today, I don't tell them why though but Dennie looks at me closely. I am seeing Jenny's father to discuss what he plans to do and how I can help financially, I have offered him my legal team and a bottomless pit of resources to help him get justice for his daughter.

Raul arrives and waits while my daughters get their things together and then each of them in turn comes to me and hugs me before they leave. Dennie lingers and reaches up to whisper in my ear.

"Dad I want to talk to you later ok?" she says.

I nod but don't say anything; I press a kiss to her head and tell her to get herself off to school. When they have gone, Chris watches me closely.

"What?" I ask somewhat defensively.

"I overheard what Dennie asked you last night" he says.

"I don't want to talk about it" I say.

Chris sighs, "I know you don't, but she is a bright girl and she is worried about you. Also you do realise she feels guilty about your nightmare?" he says.

My head whips round and I stare at him, "Why on earth should she feel guilty?" I ask.

Chris looks at me incredulously, "Seriously Gideon for a bright man you can be very dense at times! That girl is in turmoil at the moment, she feels responsible for everything that has happened! Jenny is her friend, and the way she looks at it is Josh is her boyfriend and she introduced Jenny to him and used Jenny as her alibi when she was seeing Josh behind your back and the result of that was Jenny came into contact with Mike so she is not only feeling a tremendous amount guilt about getting Jenny involved with that boy and for what Jenny is now going through but also the effect those consequences have had on you. She truly believes that it is all her fault" Chris explains.

I stare at him in shock, "I will talk to her when she gets home" I say.

Chris heads off home and before I go to the office I go to my study and call Seattle. My first call is to my brother.

"Christian" I say as greeting as soon as he answers.

"Gideon, how are you? Ana got a call from Dennie last night and it seems things aren't so good there in New York?" he says the concern clear in his voice.

"Yeah you could say that" I say, "Listen, school breaks up here in a couple of days when the girls finish, could we come and stay with you for a bit? I feel as though I need to separate Dennie from New York and everything that is going on here" I say.

"Come on Gideon, you know that you don't have to ask bro, you know you are always welcome here" Christian replies incredulously.

"Thank you" I say quietly.

"There is something else going on here bro, I can tell by your voice, what's wrong?" Christian pushes.

"I had a nightmare last night… I haven't had one for years, you know that but after everything that came out last night with what happened to Dennie's friend it kind of got to me. I can't afford to go down that road again so while I'm in Seattle I'm going to call on John and ask for a few sessions and try and get my shit back together again" I say.

There is a brief silence before he responds to that, "I'm sorry to hear that, but it's good you are facing it this time. You did so well overcoming them before and it would be terrible for you to backslide," my brother pauses and I hear a voice in the background, and then Christian speaks again, "Bro, Ana is here she wants to talk to you" he says.

I hear scuffling as the phone is passed over and then I hear Ana's voice in my ear.

"Gideon, how are you?" she asks with obvious concern.

"Hi Ana, I'm good honestly, I had a bit of a rough night. Thank you for telling Dennie to call my dad, and being there for her last night" I say.

"Gideon I will always be there not only for Dennie but for you all" she says. I talk to Ana about what Chris said this morning about Dennie feeling responsible for everything that has happened.

"You need to talk to her Gideon" Ana says firmly. "I know you believe that Dennie shouldn't know about your past or Eva's but your pasts are a part of who you are, she is fifteen but she is so mature Gideon she will handle it and it will show her that she isn't to blame, but it will also educate her about the bad people in the world. Also you need to nip her guilt in the bud or she will end up screwed up over it. Christian says you are all coming to Seattle to stay, why don't you book some therapy sessions with John and take Dennie with you if you don't feel comfortable talking to her about it one to one, that way John can help her process it all as well?" Ana suggests.

"That's a good idea" I say, I like that idea, I can't see myself sitting down and talking to Dennie about my past, but in the context of a therapy session it wouldn't seem so wrong. Plus I know John would set her straight and stop her feeling so guilty.

I thank Ana and we chat for a few more moments and then I hang up and call John Flynn.

I wait while my call is connected and piece together in my mind what I am going to say.

"Gideon, what a surprise" I hear John's kind British voice and I smile.

"John, it's been a while" I say.

"It has, I was sorry to hear about Eva" he says carefully.

"Yeah it was a rough time, thank you for the card you sent and for the assistance you gave me back then" I say.

"You are more than welcome, what can I do for you?" he asks.

I take a deep breath, "I'm struggling John, I had a nightmare last night for the first time in years. I can't do that again John, I need to stop this before it becomes an issue, I have three daughters who I need to protect, there is no way on god's earth I want them to see me the way I was" I say as it all tumbles out.

"Alright, calm down Gideon… I think we need to schedule some video chats, let me know when a good time is for you" John says calmly.

"Actually school finishes here at the end of the week and we are flying out to Seattle to spend some time with Christian and Ana and I was hoping for some face to face sessions?" I ask hopefully.

"That's absolutely fine, call me when you get into town and I'll fit you in" he says.

"Thank you, erm John... I was hoping to bring my daughter Dennie with me to some, she knows about my nightmares – she heard me last night and she kind of knows about my past, things have been happening and she has been quite badly affected by them and I want you to help her" I say.

"Alright, that's fine… do you want to tell me what's been going on?" John asks.

I sigh, "Dennie has a boyfriend – Josh and the long and short of it is, she used her friend Jenny as an alibi to see this boy behind my back, in the process her friend Jenny got introduced to a boy who was an acquaintance of Josh's it turns out he is quite disturbed he won't leave Josh alone and as soon as he met Jenny he came on to her and became obsessive and possessive. It appears he has gone too far and raped Jenny – Dennie feels responsible as Jen wouldn't have met him if it hadn't been for her seeing Josh, and it all came out about Jenny last night here. I didn't handle the news too well and I believe _that_ is what triggered my nightmare, so Dennie feels responsible for the way I reacted as well, its a fucking mess John" I say.

"Wow, it sounds it, how is this girl, is she getting help?" he asks.

"I believe so, I have offered her father unlimited support and resources to get his daughter justice and I have given him the details of the safe house here in New York where I have some really excellent therapists who help the young people, Jenny obviously won't need the safe house as such but there is no reasons she shouldn't have access to the counselling we have on offer there" I say.

"You are a good man Gideon, I have heard excellent things about your Ella's Lodges. I was surprised by the name, and I am guessing that is a nod towards Christian's birth mother?" he says.

"Yes it's a long story but they have really taken off big time, there is at least one in practically every state now, and the work they do is invaluable" I say proudly.

"Ok then, we seem to have got a little off track, call me when you arrive in Seattle and I'll arrange for some sessions with you and as for Denise, and try not to worry Gideon, I know that is easier said than done, you being the sole parent to those girls but from what Christian has told me and from what I have seen in the media you have done a magnificent job since Eva died" John says kindly.

I snort, "I don't think so John, I have allowed my eldest daughter to become a surrogate mom and I've not been there for them as I should have been, if I had been more of a father perhaps Dennie wouldn't have had to have gone looking for love and affection somewhere else, and none of this would have happened" I say.

"Now you are being ridiculous Gideon and that is on the same level as Denise's unfounded guilt, we need to nip this before it consumes you" John says.

"I'll give you call when I arrive in Seattle" I say.

"Alright, Gideon, I look forward to hearing from you" John replies.

We say our goodbyes and I feel a little better. I gather together the things I need and go downstairs and I walk into Raul who has returned from taking the girls to school.

"Ready sir?" he asks.

I nod, "As I'll ever be" I reply and we head out to the Crossfire.


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

I lean back in my chair and sigh, I am well on track today and everything has gone according to plan. I am in the zone. All my meetings have been going the way I wanted them to and I am having a good day. I look at the clock and smile it's not even lunchtime and I have completed everything I needed to. I am pulled from my self satisfied smug thoughts by my desk phone ringing.

I hit the speaker button, "Cross" I bark into it.

"Mr Cross I have a Mr Ryan Landon on line one for you, do you want to take the call?" Scott asks carefully.

I sigh, "Put him though" I say and lift the receiver taking the call off of speaker.

"Cross" I say as I hear the click which tells me the call has been connected.

"Cross, Ryan Landon here, I just thought I should let you know that Josh just called me and Mike Foster was arrested just a few moments ago. He was picked up outside the college when he was leaving for lunch".

"Good" I reply.

"My sentiments exactly, what he did to that girl… well it's people like that who give men a bad name" he pauses and I get the impression he wants to say something else, so I wait and eventually he speaks again.

"Erm... there is another thing, I talked at length with Josh last night when we got home and I really do believe he really has deep feelings for your daughter. Now I love my son with all my heart and I don't think he would do anything to deliberately hurt her or take advantage of her, I just wanted you to know that and I am hoping that you will give him a chance, and not make life difficult for him… because of his last name" Landon pauses waiting for a response from me.

I sigh, I know what he is hinting at, he knows that due to his grudge he has probably made life difficult for his son and if I am honest I _do_ hold a slight resentment and mistrust of the boy which is only due to his surname.

"My family is very important to me and I love all my daughters dearly. I am very protective of them. I will give your son the benefit of the doubt, he seemed to be a pleasant enough young man when I met him and he said everything I wanted to hear as an anxious father, so you have my word I won't make life difficult for him. Denise appears to have feelings for him and my daughters happiness is my soul concern, if he makes her happy and treats her with respect he won't have a problem with me" I say. I think about what I have just said and decide it sounds reasonable under the circumstances, but also lets Landon know that if his boy hurts my daughter then I won't hesitate to retaliate.

"Then we understand each other" Landon says and I can hear the relief in his voice.

"It would appear so" I reply.

"I'll let you get on then" Landon says as he realises that I don't particularly want to talk to him anymore.

"Yes I have a lot to do" I reply, "Thank you for letting me know about that boy's arrest, I will be pressing charges of my own against him for his physical attack on Dennie, she has bruises on her neck from where he grabbed her" I say.

"Hopefully he will have the book thrown at him, I tried to persuade Josh to press charges against him for the way he has been stalked by him but he was too afraid, maybe now he might be persuaded to as he is up for more serious charges, I mean it can't hurt can it?" he says.

"Not at all I would encourage him to do so, scum like that need to be dealt with" I say.

I hang up and text Denise letting her know about the arrest.

_**Just heard - Mike arrested.**_

Then I hit send.

A few moments later I get a response.

_**I know, Josh text me - thank god!**_

I think for a moment and send another text.

_**Are you going to press charges for the physical attack on you? Your neck is bruised.**_

Her response is immediate.

_**Hell yes! **_

I smile as I read it and send a response;

_**I will come with you when you go.**_

My phone pings with her reply.

_**Thank you dad, I love you x**_

I swallow hard at the text and tears immediately fill my eyes, I dash them away and turn my attention back to my work.

About an hour later my office door opens and my daughter is standing there staring at me. Panic surges through me as I wonder why she has come here in the middle of the day and I immediately rise up and step from behind my desk and walk towards her.

"What's wrong?" I ask as pull her towards me.

She smiles up at me and I take a moment to note her demeanour, she isn't worried or afraid, she is totally calm. "Nothing, I'm on my lunch break and I thought... if you're not busy... I mean if you are it doesn't matter I'll just take Raul with me" she looks at me and I realise she wants to go to the police station now.

"Sure, just give me two minutes to rearrange a meeting and I'll be right with you" I say.

I quickly step out to Scott who stands and looks at me expectantly. "Cancel my meeting with the head of HR and reschedule it for tomorrow lunchtime, as I need to go out" I say.

Scott nods and immediately makes the call, I grab my jacket and I lead Denise from the building. Raul is waiting for us downstairs in the car and drives us to the police precinct. When we arrive heads turn and people fall over themselves to come and assist us. I hope that Jenny's father has received the same treatment. We are seen swiftly and Denise makes her statement, the detective's eyes widen as she tells him her story and he asks her to wait, a moment later another detective enters the room and introduces himself.

"Mr Cross, Miss Cross, I'm Det Sgt Ramon I am handing the alleged rape case, the complaint made by a Miss Taylor, according to my colleague you have some information which may help with that case?" he sits down and looks at us expectantly.

I lean forward and hold the mans gaze, "Det Ramon, Jenny Taylor is my daughter's best friend, and I am supporting Mr Taylor's pursuit of justice for his daughter, he has full access to my personal legal team and resources and I hope that he and his daughter are being treated with the same respect that we are?" I stare the man down and he swallows and nods firmly.

"Of course Mr Cross, we take any complaint of this nature seriously especially when it involves a minor" he stammers.

I nod but say no more, the detective turns his attention to Denise.

"Denise can you explain in your own words what Mike Taylor did to you, did he touch you sexually?" he asks.

Denise shakes her head, "No, but he physically attacked me, look" she lowers the collar of her blouse and shows the bruising on her neck, the detective gasps and calls in a female police officer with a camera to take photographic evidence of the bruising and examine Denise.

Denise gives her statement detailing the all the events in the women's bathroom at the burger restaurant. She tells of what Jenny said and her reaction when Mike came to the bathroom. She is calm and concise and I sit watching her carefully as she speaks. When she has finished the detective asks her a number of questions.

"Did your boyfriend and your security operative see Mike Foster with his hands around your throat?" he asks.

Denise shakes her head, "I don't think so, as they arrived after I kicked him in the balls" she says, "And Jenny was locked in the stall" she says, but then she glances up her eyes shining. "But there is CCTV cameras in the hallway outside the ladies bathroom and when he came and banged on the door and I opened it he pushed me up against it so it may have been caught on the cameras out there, but then the door moved and he shoved me inside" she says.

The detective nods and makes a note of it, assuring us that someone will get the footage from the restaurant.

"Denise, you and your boyfriend were present the night the first time Mr Foster was accused of raping Miss Taylor?" he asks.

Denise nods, "We were, he has a fake ID and he got a load of alcohol, and he pressured us all to go back to his place we tried to back out put he insisted and we went. Josh and I didn't have that much and I didn't think Jenny did either but he kept giving her the alcohol and then he took her to his room. She kept saying no all the way and trying to get out of his hold, but she was giggling as well because she was so wasted in the end he picked her up and carried her in and shut the door, but she kept saying no and telling him to let her go and we left shortly after that. I can't understand how Jenny was so wasted though she had as much as we had but we didn't have that much if you get what I mean" she says.

"Was Mr Foster very drunk?" the detective says.

Denise shakes her head, "No he wasn't really drinking that much at all come to think of it, he had some but not much" Denise thinks about this and stares at the detective.

"Do you think he spiked her drink?" she asks.

"It is a possibility" the detective replies.

He makes numerous notes and then stands; he shakes Dennie's hand and then mine and assures me that he will do everything in his power to get a conviction for this boy.

As we leave, Dennie links her arm in mine and whispers to me. "Did you get the impression that they seemed more interested and focussed on Jenny's rape after I made my complaint?" she says.

I nod, "yes I did, it's an unfortunate fact I'm afraid, we have more influence than Jenny's father which is why I made a point of letting them know I was backing him, hopefully now things will move a little swifter for them".

"Why though? Just because you have loads of money and make donations to the Police Dept shouldn't mean we get treated any differently from Jenny and her dad, that's just wrong. Just because Jenny's dad doesn't have the money you have shouldn't mean he gets treated differently or overlooked" she is furious and I wrap my arm around her.

"I assure you Jenny and her father will be looked after now, but it's a fact of life I'm afraid, money talks and if you have enough of it, like I do it can give you influence and power, but its how you use that influence and power which is the important thing and I have used it to make sure Jenny gets her justice for what happened to her" I say.

When we reach the car I hear a voice calling out to me and I see Jenny's father running towards me, when he reaches us he acknowledges Denise with a warm greeting and then turns his attention to me.

"Mr Cross, I thought it was you, I just want to thank you for the use of your legal team, I was just heading back to the police station, I got a call to say that they have more evidence against this boy now" he says.

Denise smiles "That would be me, I told them about what Mike did to me last night and I told him about the night we went to his place when he had the alcohol and told him what we knew about that" she says.

Jenny's father smiles gratefully at Denise, "Thank you Denise you have been a good friend to Jenny" he says. I watch as Denise's face falls at this and she shakes her head, "If I was a good friend I wouldn't have let her anywhere near him" she says sadly.

I hold my hand out to Jenny's father, "I'll talk to you later, you have my number if you need anything don't hesitate to call me" I say. He accepts my handshake and thanks me profusely again.

"I can't thank you enough for everything that you have done for us Mr Cross" he says politely.

**(DENISE)**

Raul and my dad drop me off back at school and before they go my dad hugs me tightly.

"Are you sure you're ok?" he asks me carefully.

I nod, "I am now that I have told the police everything I know" I say. My father nods and I get the feeling he wants to say something to me.

"What is it dad?" I ask.

My father looks at me and smiles, "Denise, I called John Flynn and asked he will see us when we go to Seattle" he says carefully.

"Ok, when are we going to Seattle?" I ask.

"When school breaks up at the end of the week, I think we need to get out of New York for a while as well as talking things over with John" he says.

I nod in agreement, but then a pang at the thought of going away and not seeing Josh shoots through me, I don't say anything though.

My father reaches for me and grasps my hand, "Denise, I also want to discuss with you the events of last night, but I have no idea how so I want us to do it with John, I want to explain... everything" he says, he is looking at me closely and he continues to speak, "Also I want you to get some help about everything that has happened to you recently, as none of it is your fault you know" he says.

I smile at him for trying to make me feel better, but I can't help but feel guilty for everything that happened to Jenny.

"Thanks dad, look I need to go and get back to school" I say dismissively.

"Sure, I'll see you later" he says to me.

I kiss my father goodbye and climb out of the car and head towards the school gate.

"Denise" I turn at the call and running towards me is Josh. He envelopes me in a bear hug and kisses me.

"I've been looking for you, I saw your sister and she said you'd gone to the police to make a statement" he says.

"I did, I want that fucker put away so he doesn't hurt anyone else, it's bad enough he hurt my best friend" I say.

Josh nods, "I'm going with my dad later to make a statement, I'm going to tell them how he has been stalking me" he says.

My mouth drops open and I stare at him in shock this is news to me!

"What?!" I ask.

Josh nods sadly, "We became friends when we started college, but very quickly things became weird. He wouldn't leave me alone he was so clingy and well... strange and he turned up everywhere I was and started trying to separate me from my other friends. I tried to cut all ties with him and changed my number but somehow he managed to get it and he just won't leave me alone. I feel so responsible for what he did to Jenny and you" Josh presses his head to mine as he says this.

"Don't it wasn't your fault, I feel exactly the same way but we can't think about if only" I say thinking I should take my own advice.

"Can I see you tonight?" Josh asks me hopefully.

"You can, what do you want to do?" I ask him as I run my hands up and down his arm.

He pulls me closer and nuzzles my neck placing sweet kisses there and making me shiver. "I'd love to just have a night in with you, just order in some pizza and veg out watching DVD's or something?" he asks.

I smile, "Sounds good!" I say, "Although you do realise if we do that my dad will be hanging around like a bad smell to make sure we don't get up to anything we shouldn't" I say.

"That's ok, we can use the opportunity to show him and reassure him you are totally safe with me and that nothing is going to happen" Josh says.

"Maybe I want something to happen" I say quietly as I step even closer to him.

Josh leans back and brushes my hair away from my face, "So do I but as much as I want to take your virginity and make love to you I want you to be totally ready and sure about it and when we do eventually do it I want it to be perfect and not a sordid rushed fumble" he says.

"I love you" I whisper as I wrap my arms around his neck.

"I love you too Denise you are the most amazing girl I have ever met" he replies.

I sigh, "and as much as I want to stand here in your arms for the rest of the afternoon I need to get going" I say sadly.

Josh nods and plants a small kiss to my lips before releasing me, "I'll see you about 6ish?" he asks.

I nod, "that's fine" I reply.

As he goes I smile to myself and head back inside.

I go to my class and look around I am surprised to see Jenny sitting in the corner and I make towards her.

"Hi" I say as I sit down beside her, "I'm surprised to see you here, you weren't here this morning" I add.

"I had to get out, my father is watching me like a hawk and my step mother is treating me like a leper" she says sadly.

I stare at her, "What do you mean?" I ask.

"Well lets just say that she is a little jealous, and she is really put out that my father is focussing his attention on me at the moment, actually jealous doesn't even begin to cover it" she says bitterly.

"That is just fucking wrong!" I gasp.

Jenny nods and shrugs, "Tell me about it, the first bit of attention I have got from my father in god knows how many years, is for something so bad I want to die and my wonderful step mom can't reign in her childish insecurities to let me have this moment with my dad".

"What does she have to be insecure about?" I ask incredulously.

Jenny shakes her head, "she was in an abusive relationship before she met my dad and meeting him gave her the courage to leave it and I think she's so scared that my dad will lose interest in her and throw her out and she will have nothing, she is the sort of person who needs a man if you get what I mean".

"That's fucked up" I say.

"Tell me about it, you know I always loved being at your apartment the atmosphere in that penthouse when your mom was alive was unreal, you dad idolised your mom and she adored him and they both loved you and your sisters so much you could almost touch the love there" she says smiling at me.

I smile back as I think of how my mom and dad were with each other, "Yeah what my mom and dad had was pretty special, you don't see love like that very often, the only other couple I have seen with something similar is my Uncle Christian and Aunty Ana in Seattle" I say. "Which reminds me, my dad is planning on taking us to Seattle to visit them when school breaks up… are you going to be ok with me going out of town for a while, I mean I can ask my dad to put it off?" I ask.

Jenny shakes her head, "No you should go" she says adamantly, then she gives a small smile, "I guess there is someone who will miss you though" she adds.

"Josh" I whisper and then I sigh, "I know, I'll tell him tonight, as he's coming over for pizza and a movie night" I say.

Jenny looks a little sad at this but quickly alters her face "have a good evening" she says.

"Do you want to come over too?" I ask impulsively.

She shakes her head, "and play the third wheel? No thank you" she says.

"No it won't be like that, I mean my dad will be home as well and my sisters" I say.

Jenny thinks for a moment but shakes her head, "No, thanks for the offer, but I'll go home and bask in the new found attention I am receiving from my dad. It will be entertaining to rub my step mom's nose in it let her feel how I've felt since she and my dad have been together" she says.

At the end of the day, I wait for Liv and go and stand outside to wait for Raul to pick us up, I see a small group of men standing at the gate whispering and looking our way. I pretend to send a text message and discreetly photograph them. There are three of them, there is a man about my dad's age, he is scruffily dressed with a lit cigarette hanging out his mouth and he looks dirty, then two younger men both who appear to be in their early to mid 20's. As I look at them I realise they all look alike and there is something familiar about them and then it hits me they all resemble Mike. I go cold and grip Liv's hand and head back inside texting Raul as I do so.

The text has hardly been sent when my phone starts ringing, "Dennie go inside and wait with Liv and do not under any circumstances leave the school" he says.

"Ok, what about Zoe?" I ask.

"She is in school with her teacher, she is fine" he replies.

He tells me he is nearly with us and will text me when he arrives.

I feel reassured and Liv and I wait quietly. "What's all this about Dennie?" Liv asks me.

I sigh and explain that I believe that the men outside have something to do with Mike, and I admit to her that he attacked me and show her the bruises on my neck. I had already told her that Jenny had been seeing a boy who we know and he had raped her, I told her this when I told her I was going to the police station to give a statement about what I knew about him to help Jenny. Liv gasps and hugs me.

"Shit Dennie, have you told dad?" she asks staring at the bruising.

I nod, "We reported it to the police today, that is why we went to the precinct, it wasn't just to give information on Jenny's case" I say.

"What did he do when you told him?" Liv asks.

"He wasn't best pleased" I say. My attention is drawn to my phone as it pings alerting me to Raul's arrival, I grasp Liv's hand and lead her outside, looking around the men are still there and they watch Raul with interest as he pulls the car up. He steps out and lets his coat fall open flashing a glimpse of his gun. This appears to be enough for the men who all melt away quietly.

We climb gratefully into the car while Raul fetches Zoe. We lock the car and wait, I watch as the men reappear and circle the car, they can't see in as the windows are tinted, but they obviously know we are in here, one tries the door but thankfully it is locked. I pull Liv closer and turn her head towards me, as one of the men comes right up to the window and unzipping his trousers he pulls out his penis and stands there stroking himself. I can hear all three of the men are laughing and taunting us and I feel sick, with this perverted exhibitionism. I pray for Raul to return, suddenly they all move away quickly and I see Raul approach with Zoe, and I pray that she sees nothing.

Raul unlocks the car and Zoe climbs in Raul takes his seat and taking one look at us knows something happened.

"What happened?" he asks.

I am still gripping Liv tightly shielding her and I shake my head.

"Not now" I say glancing at Liv and then Zoe, Raul nods and then sends a quick text the next moment my phone rings and it's my father calling.

"Hello" I stammer.

"Denise, Raul just text me I'm on my way home" he says.

The firm confident announcement that my dad will be at home with us when we get there makes my heart leap and I smile and feel myself relax.

"Ok thank you daddy" I say.

He hangs up and I quickly send a copy of the photo I took of the men to Raul, his phone pings and he glances at me through the rear view mirror and smiles.

My father is waiting for us, he is pacing like a caged animal when we get home, Zoe runs to him delighted to see him unexpectedly home so early and he pauses switching gear when he sees her coming towards him and picks her up, she flings her arms around him as he spins her around. She giggles happily and I smile and remember when he used to do this with me and Liv. He puts Zoe down and walks over to me and Liv and pulls us both close.

"Are you both ok?" he whispers to us anxiously, his temporary lightness vanishing.

Liv looks up at him, "I'll let you talk to Dennie, as I am guessing that is why you are home so early, I didn't really see anything as Dennie wouldn't let me look" she says. My dad nods and presses a kiss to her forehead. Then wrapping his arm around me leads me to his study. Raul follows and he calls up the picture I sent him on his cell phone.

"So what happened?"My dad asks without any preamble as soon as we enter his study.

I sigh and recount what happened, I watch as my dad gets more and more angry. He demands to see the photograph. I pull my phone out and send the photograph to his phone and I watch as a frightening expression overtakes his face. I've never seen anything like it, but I truly believe if my dad came face to face with these men at this moment he would kill them and not think twice about it.

"Daddy?" I say quietly.

He looks up and his expression shifts and he takes a deep breath and shakes his head.

"I'm sorry, what you just said it made me... angry" he says.

I know he is deliberately downplaying what his true feelings and emotions are at this moment.

"Raul I want to know who these men are, and every god damn thing about them ASAP and I need the CCTV footage from outside the school" he says.

Raul nods and vanishes. Then he turns to me.

"You and Liv are not to leave this house unaccompanied, you do not leave the school grounds under any circumstances without Raul by your side, you stay inside until Raul is on the premises at the end of the day and if you feel the need to go out on dates with Josh you will take security with you" he says with an emphatic sweep of his hand.

I nod, I realise this isn't just a knee jerk reaction, this is my dad afraid for mine and Liv's safety and until we know what we are dealing with I will co-operate. My dad has always been good when it comes to balancing security and his need to keep me safe with my independence, I realised this fact quite early after having heard my cousin Phoebe complain about how Uncle Christian keeps her practically locked up like a prisoner. I know my dad is pretty reasonable and I also I know I have taken advantage of it at times.

"Josh is coming here tonight, we thought we'd stay in and have a pizza and movie night, is that ok with you?" I ask, wanting to change the subject and lighten the oppressive atmosphere.

My dad smiles, "Of course it is, it gives me chance to get to know him a little better" he says.

I groan, "Dad, please don't embarrass me" I say.

**oooOOOooo**

Josh arrives just before 6pm and is carrying a bag filled with bottles of coca cola and other goodies, my sisters immediately appear and stare at him as he walks up to me and presses a kiss to my lips, he jumps back when my dad walks in and I roll my eyes as he offers his hand in greeting.

"You don't have to shake his hand every time you see him you know!" I say facetiously. I turn to my dad, "What are your plans for tonight dad?" I ask giving him a meaningful look.

He gives me a wicked grin, "I thought I might join you both, which films do you plan to watch?" he asks mildly.

He laughs at my horrified reaction, "Relax Denise, I'll be in my study working, catching up on the work I put off when I came home early" he says. He turns to Josh, "Make yourself at home Josh, I understand you both are having pizza – the menu's are over there" he points to the kitchen.

"Thank you sir" Josh replies politely.

My dad nods and then he turns to my sisters who are standing openly gaping "come on leave them alone, they don't want us cramping their style" he says.

After they have all gone I lead Josh to the sofa and we sit down, "So, what do you want to watch? We have an extensive collection of DVD's and of course there is also stuff we can watch online if there is nothing in the library that takes your fancy" I say. I point to a large cupboard and Josh stands and walks over and he whistles as he opens it.

"Wow, you weren't kidding" he says as he takes in the neatly stacked rows of DVD's. I stand beside him, a sharp stab of unexpected pain going through my chest. I rub it and Josh looks at me in concern. "What is it?" he asks.

I shrug, as I walk towards him "Most of those were my mom's, she loved old films and used to sit with me and watch them… and she had this thing where she would recite the lines it was so funny when she used to do that" I say.

Josh wraps his arm around me, "You choose" he says.

I look inside and I feel myself drawn to one film in particular, "I love this film I have watched it so many times, dad had to replace the DVD twice. Between me and my mom we wore them out!" I say. I watch as Josh takes the film from me.

"Wow a golden oldie!" he says as he takes in the cover of Ghostbusters.

"Have you seen it?" I ask.

Josh nods, "Not for a long time but yes I've seen it before" he says. He hands me the DVD and I grin.

"You pick one too" I say, I watch as he examines the collection, and I'm curious to see what he goes for, then he zones in on one in particular.

"This is my favourite film in the whole world, I used to watch this with my dad every damn weekend!" he says. "My dad knew I would pick this when we would sit and watch a film together. I take the film from him and my eyebrows rise in shocked surprise.

"Really, this is your favourite film?" I ask.

Josh nods and goes a little red, "yes, why?" he asks defensively.

"Nothing "I say, "I just thought you'd be into something more shoot 'em up, you know park your brain at the door, big effects and CGI and all that" I say.

Josh shakes his head, "No, this is my all time favourite, I'm actually surprised you have it as it's really, really old. I mean I think it was made in the 1950's or something ridiculous and it's quite obscure" he says.

He takes back the DVD from me and turns it over "I love _really_ old films they have a quality to them, because they don't rely on effects because there weren't any, but old British films have a certain something else, sometimes the acting can be a bit over the top and hammy but in my opinion it just adds to it" he says.

I had no idea, I am seeing a whole new side to Josh with this choice and I like what I see, as I take in the cover of _'The Man Who Never Was'_ a really, really old British made World War II film, about an audacious plan to fool the Germans by planting fake documents on a dead body to be found by them and make them think an attack was imminent in one place when it was actually going to happen in another, and the fact it was based on a true story made it all the more incredible for me. It is one of my dad's favourites hence the reason it is here in our collection.

"Which do you want to watch first?" I ask holding both up.

"I don't mind" he says.

I smile, "We'll go with yours and then have a bit of comedy to lighten things up afterwards" I say decisively.

Josh nods in agreement and goes to find the pizza menus; he returns with them and fumbles for his phone. We order a couple of pizzas and a few sides and settle in with the film.

"What the hell are you two watching?" Liv asks as she walks through and glances at the TV.

"Mind your own business!" I say rudely to her.

Liv grins at me, "Never heard of that film before" she retorts and wanders off into the kitchen.

"Sorry about that" I say as I snuggle closer to Josh.

"Don't be, I love your family, there is such a closeness, even though you were bickering there was nothing malicious about it" he says.

I nod, "Yeah we are close, we always have been. Don't tell her I said this but Olivia means a lot to me" I say. I rest my head on Josh's shoulder and he pulls me closer.

'_Last night I dreamed a deadly dream... beyond the Isle of Skye I saw a dead man win the fight... and I think that man was I'. _

The final lines of the film are spoken and I pull away from Josh, it's the first time I had watched that film all the way through and I had been enthralled by it, it was riveting. My father strolled out as the final words were being spoken and he paused and glanced at the TV in surprise.

"Odd choice for you sweetheart!" he says.

I shake my head, "I didn't pick that one - that was Josh's choice, it is his favourite film in the whole world and he was surprised we had it in our collection" I say. I watch at my father looks at Josh.

"Really?" he says and Josh nods.

"Yes sir, as I told Dennie, I went through a phase where I would sit and watch it every weekend with my father at one point, I love it" he says.

My father nods, and then looks at the second DVD and smiles as he picks it up, "Ghostbusters! I'm guessing this one is your choice" he says.

I nod, "One of my all time fav's" I say a little defensively.

"And your mother's!" he replies with a sad smile. He visibly shakes off the melancholy and hands back the DVD. His eyes take the in debris scattered across the coffee table but before he can say anything Josh quickly stands.

"Come on Dennie, let's clear up all this rubbish and mess before we put on the next film" he says.

I hold open the bag which he had brought and pile all the empty bottles, packets and wrappers into it and then along with the empty pizza boxes I take them into the kitchen while Josh sorts out the second DVD. My father follows me and pours himself a drink.

"You really like him don't you?" he asks.

I nod, "I think I love him dad, I know I'm only fifteen and you are going to say I don't know what love is at my age but its how I feel when I am around him he makes me feel alive and everything seems so much better when he is with me, it's like he just makes things good" I say.

My father pulls me into a hug, "I know exactly what you are saying – that is how your mother made me feel" he says. "Have you told him that we are going to Seattle at the end of the week?" he asks.

I shake my head, "No not yet, I was going to tell him later but I keep putting it off, I am going to miss him so much!" I say.

I see my father think for a moment, "Why don't you invite him to come with us? I'm sure my brother won't mind, although he will obviously have to abide by Christian's rules while in his house" he says.

I feel my face light up "Do you think he could!?" I say excitedly almost bouncing with anticipation.

I watch my father pull his ever present phone from his pocket and make the call to Seattle.

I stand my hands clasped tightly watching and listening to the one sided conversation.

"Christian! How are you?... I'm good... yeah they are all ok, listen bro I need a favour... yeah something like that!... You know how we are all coming to stay at the end of the week? Well I was wondering if you would object if Denise invited her boyfriend along as well, it seems to be pretty serious between them… he would of course have to abide by your rules while staying in your home... yeah... I see, yeah I understand and I'm sure Denise will as well... yeah he seems a good kid, thanks for that bro, see you soon give my love to Ana and Phoebe, yeah... Bye bro!" he hangs up.

"He's fine with that" he says to me. I squeal loudly and jump up and down; I throw my arms around my dad and kiss him repeatedly on the cheek.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you" I say excitedly.

He laughs and pushes me away. "Ok, well you'd better go and tell him the good news" he says.

I rush back into the lounge area and Josh looks up, "What was all that about? I heard you squealing from in here" he asks with an amused expression on his face.

I grab his hand and pull him down on to the sofa next to me. "At the weekend how do you fancy a vacation in Seattle? We are going to visit my Uncle Christian and Aunty Ana and my dad has spoken to Uncle Christian and he is fine with it if you want to come with us. So do you, want to come I mean?" I ask as I look hopefully at him and I see the joy in his eyes.

"I'd love to, I'll have to ask my dad, run it past him but I don't think there will be any problems with that" he says. He pulls his phone from his pocket and makes the call, putting it on speaker so I can hear.

As soon as his father answers his tone is anxious, "Josh is everything alright?" he asks.

"Hi dad, yeah, I'm having a great time with Dennie. We are staying in at her place watching DVD's guess what we just watched?" he says.

"What?" his father asks.

"'The Man Who Never Was'. Can you believe that dad? It is one of Mr Cross's favourite films!" he says.

I hear his father laugh "Well I'm glad you are having a good time, did you just call to tell me about which film you are watching?" he asks.

Josh snorts with laughter, "No, I need to ask you something, erm... Dennie is going away with her family to Seattle at the weekend for a vacation. They are staying with her uncle and aunt and Mr Cross has asked his brother if it is ok if I join them, I'd really like to go dad… so can I?" he says hopefully.

There is a silence, "Is Cross there?" he asks warily. I lean forward and take the phone.

"Mr Landon, this is Denise, I was with my dad when he called Uncle Christian, and he said its fine honestly" I say starting to get a little concerned about the reaction we were getting.

"Hi Denise, would it be possible for me to speak to your father?" he asks.

"Sure" I say, I hold the phone in my hand "DAD PHONE!" I bellow. My father appears and looks at me.

I hold out Josh's phone, "Mr Landon wants to speak to you, he's on speaker" I say. I look at my father as he accepts the phone.

"Cross" he says sharply.

"Cross, Ryan Landon here, my son just called me saying that you have invited him to visit Seattle?" he says.

My father grins, "Not quite, I asked Denise if she would like it if he joined us and then I called my brother to see if it would be alright with him and then Denise asked Josh to join us" he says. I roll my eyes; my dad is being picky and trying to wind up Mr Landon.

"Semantics Cross! He has been invited to accompany Denise to Seattle when you all go to visit Grey and his family" Ryan Landon says a touch irritably.

"Yes he has, do you have a problem with that?" my father asks.

Josh and I glance at each other; the bite in my fathers tone has escaped neither of us. "Look Cross, I know I asked you to give my son a fair chance, but considering the first time we spoke about our children's relationship you were ready to kill him and last time you were cool at best I am just a little taken aback by your offer and I wonder what your angle is?" he asks.

My dad smiles again, "No angle, my daughter has feelings for your son, he has feelings for her. I know my daughter well enough to know that leaving New York for three weeks and not seeing him during that time will make her unhappy. I do not want my daughter to be unhappy so I asked your son to join us on our vacation, end of story, no angle no ulterior motive" my dad stops speaking and waits.

There is a slight pause, "My son will be safe?" Landon asks.

My dad snorts, "My brother has state of the art security and a first class team and he is paranoid about security and keeping people safe, I have my own security team some of whom will be accompanying us so I assure you your son will be completely safe" he says.

"I really would like to go dad" Josh adds hopefully.

"Alright, you may go, thank you for the invitation Cross" Landon says.

"It's my pleasure" my dad says and hands the phone to Josh.

"Dad, it's me, Mr Cross has gone now, thank you for letting me go" he says.

"Ok Josh, just be careful and whatever the security team's tell you to do you follow without question, and remember you will be a guest in Christian Grey's house, you represent the Landon name while you are there so you do not do anything to embarrass us do you understand me?" he says.

I see Josh roll his eyes, "yes dad" he says.

"Alright then, I'll see you later and we'll talk about this some more, is Denise still there?" He asks.

"I'm here" I call.

"Thank you for the invitation Denise, before you leave for Seattle I'd like to invite you to dinner here at my home so we can all meet you properly as my wife is anxious to meet you?" he asks.

"Sure I'd love to" I say as I realise that although Josh is now a regular visitor to our home I have barely met any of his family.

"That's wonderful, shall we say tomorrow evening?" he asks.

"Fine" I say.

"Thank you Denise I'll let you both get back to your evening" he says and with that the line goes dead. I look at Josh.

"So I guess I'm coming to yours tomorrow!" I say.

Josh wraps his arms around me and kisses me softly.

**oooOOOooo**

_The next evening..._

"Do I look alright?" I ask my dad as I twirl in front of him. I decided to go with a dress and my dad looks carefully at me.

"You look beautiful" he says his eyes shining with pride.

I grab my purse and jacket and am surprised when my dad accompanies me to the elevator.

I look up at him, "You're not invited!" I say sarcastically.

He throws his head back and laughs, "No but you want to get there don't you?" he says.

I am shocked as I was expecting Raul to take me, I cock my head to one side, "You don't have an ulterior motive do you… you are not going wind up Mr Landon are you?" I ask.

My dad shakes his head, "No, as much as that would give me great pleasure it's more serious than that, Raul and I have information on those men from yesterday and I want to share it with him, I have already spoken to Jenny's father about them" he says.

"Jeez dad, put a dampener on my evening why don't you!" I say.

He grabs my shoulders, "Denise your safety is paramount, those thugs were the brothers and father of Mike Foster, and I have uncovered some pretty unsavoury things about all them" he says.

"What?" I ask, "Apart from one being a pervert who exposes himself to girls in a car" I say.

My father sighs and rubs his forehead, "their mother walked out on them when Mike was a child, it was rumoured that she was abused by Mike's father repeatedly and she met someone else and got out. We have uncovered that Child Services took all the children away from their father soon afterwards, as there were allegations of physical and sexual abuse, nothing concrete was found and all of them denied any wrong doing so they were returned to their father, but Raul has uncovered a number of people say that something isn't right about Donny Foster – the father, and it is believed he has molested all of his children at some point, he also has a daughter and she is a single mother and there are rumours that he is that baby's father" I stare at my dad in shock.

"Shit, no wonder Mike was so fucked up, if that is the sort of environment he is in" I say. "Did the CCTV come up with anything?" I add, remembering the events of the previous day.

My father looks at me carefully "Yes but that doesn't excuse what he did to Jenny" he says. "as for the CCTV - No, nothing concrete, he knew where they were and he stood so close to the car that nothing incriminating was caught, it just looked like he was talking to you" he sighs before he continues, "Anyway after what happened outside your school I want to include Landon in the loop so he is aware of the threat, after all Josh has lodged a complaint against Foster as well" he says.

I nod, "Thank you dad" I say and I push my hand into his.

Raul is waiting for us by the kerb and we head towards the Landon home. He lives in a similar apartment to ours a couple of blocks away, in fact as we pull up I realise it is next door to the block which houses Uncle Christian's New York apartment.

"We could have walked this short distance" I say as I get out.

"I don't think so sweetheart, not with those perverts on the loose" my father says grimly.

I nod in acceptance of what he has just said and we head towards the apartment building, Josh is waiting with his father by the reception desk and he quickly steps forward to greet me and introduce us.

"Dad, this is Denise, you met her briefly that night at her place after what happened to Jenny… Denise my dad" he adds as he waves his hand between us.

Ryan Landon reaches for me and presses a kiss to my cheek, "Welcome to our home Denise" he says warmly.

I smile up at him "Thank you" I say and I turn my attention to Josh who reaches for me.

"Come on we'll let our fathers talk, lets go upstairs and I'll introduce you to the rest of my family" he says. He drags me across the lobby to the elevators and we head up to their penthouse.

As the elevator doors open we are greeted by three women and Josh sighs as he leads me out.

"Denise this is my mom - Janice, my baby sister Hayley and my twin sister Jodie" he says gesturing towards the three women. "Mom, Jodie, Hayley this is Denise" he says as I gasp at his words.

"I didn't know you were a twin?!" I say staring at him and he grins.

"It's not something I broadcast!" he says and Jodie stares at him and then punches him on the arm.

He is grinning widely and gestures towards his sister, "See what I mean, who wants to admit they are related to her!" he continues. I laugh and say hello to the three women staring at me. I am a little taken aback by his mom's response to me she is frozen to the spot staring open mouthed at me before pulling herself together.

"I do apologise dear, I was just taken aback by how much you look like your father" she says, I have heard this many times before and I just smile politely.

Josh's mom hugs me warmly and Hayley grins but I sense coolness from Jodie but I don't say anything.

Josh quickly pulls me into the apartment and straight to his room, I am shocked as my room was definitely out of bounds. I watch as Josh closes the door.

"Are we ok to be in here?" I ask nervously.

Josh grins at me, "Sure we are, I know your dad doesn't allow it but my parents aren't so over protective, plus I wouldn't do anything inappropriate, not yet" he says and moves towards me.

I press a kiss to his lips and he grabs me devouring me, my hands grip his hair and his roam restlessly all over me. I feel him harden against me and I audaciously reach down and cup his erection in my hand. Josh groans and I know things are rapidly heading to a point where we need stop or something inappropriate will happen.

"Josh I want you" I gasp.

Josh breathes against my mouth, "and I want you too, but not like this I want it to be perfect, we will be having dinner soon and I'd quite like to go down without a hard on" he says.

"I'm sorry" I whisper and move my hand.

He places his hand on top of mine, "Don't be, it's nice, and it's a nice feeling knowing that you want me as badly as I want you" he says.

We head downstairs to dinner and I see my father appearing with Mr Landon out of a side room. I watch as he shakes his hand.

"Are you still here, are you trying to get invited to dinner?" I ask and bump against my father's arm playfully.

My father smiles at me and touches my cheek, "Don't worry sweetheart, I'm going now. Ryan and I have talked things over and we have come to an understanding" he says.

I realise something huge has happened here, mainly because this is the first time I have heard my dad call Mr Landon by his first name, whenever he has spoken about him before, he has always called him just 'Landon' not to mention 'fucking Landon' when he hadn't thought I had been listening. I fling my arms around my father and kiss his cheek.

"I'll see you later, behave yourself" he whispers in my ear.

"Bye daddy" I say quietly.

I watch my father and Raul leave and I smile brightly at Mr Landon.

"Shall we eat?" he says as he gestures towards a room to his left.


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

We enter the room and I gasp at a beautiful dining room, it is a clearly very opulent room designed to impress and overwhelm. It's more than a little over the top for my taste but I have noticed that before. People with money like to advertise the fact they have it, they like to brag and show off. My grandmother, my mother's mom is like that. She thinks money is the be all and end all of everything. Uncle Christian also likes to throw his wealth about but Aunty Ana is totally the opposite she hates fuss and ostentatiousness.

My dad is different though, he never rubs it in people's faces that he is rich and he is probably the wealthiest person I have ever met. Our home is tasteful and understated and my mom was the same she always hated the money thing. I remember when she told me how when they got married my dad just whisked her away to Vegas and they married with nobody there apart from Uncle Christian and Aunt Ana joining them via Facetime on my mom's phone. No fuss no massive wedding bash with everyone they had ever met invited, just the two people who mattered most – my mom and dad. I pull my thoughts away from the memory and look at the table, they have really gone to town with the shock and awe factor and it occurs to me they have done this because of who my dad is, they want to create a good impression and send the message that they can compete with my dad. I find it a little sickening if I am honest but I don't say anything, I glance at Josh who is staring at the table making it obvious that this sort of effort isn't the norm.

Mr Landon pulls out a chair for me and I sit down with a word of thanks. Looking around the table I see everyone is staring at me waiting for me to say something, so I think carefully and let them know what I think, hopefully tactfully!

"Wow, this all looks so nice. It's been so long since I've sat around a dinner table – at home we tend to lounge in front of the TV in the evening" I say, that's not entirely true but I think it gets the message across loud and clear that this is way over the top.

Mrs Landon's mouth falls open, "Really?!" she says clearly surprised by that statement.

I nod, "Yeah, we rarely use our dining room, even when mom was alive we preferred to sit on the sofa's to eat, or we eat in the kitchen" I say.

"See mom, you didn't need to get the best dinner service and silverware out!" Josh says sarcastically, and I see his mother flush a little.

"Oh my goodness you didn't need to go to any trouble for me!" I say in astonishment.

"Nonsense it's a pleasure to have you here Denise" Mr Landon quickly interjects.

The dinner is pleasant enough; I keep shooting furtive looks at Josh throughout the meal. Mr Landon makes conversation asking me about what my plans are in life.

"Do you have any plans after you graduate from High School Denise, Josh tells me you are being considered for fast tracking and early graduation?" he asks.

I nod, "I am and I want to go into advertising. My mom was brilliant at all that sort of thing and she taught me everything she knew and I found it fascinating, when she brought home marketing campaigns to work on I used to help her and watch how it was all done, and she showed me the different stages and how to know and capture your target demographic. I am hoping to go to University and get a business degree and then try and get something in the advertising sector," I say.

Mr Landon smiles "A good ambition" he says.

His wife looks at me, and smiles stiffly. "You shouldn't have any difficulty with that dear, I'm sure your father would give you a job within Cross Industries". The tone of her voice sets alarm bells ringing there is something about the way she said it that was distinctly off. I stiffen at her assumption, slightly annoyed that she should think I would go the easy route and cash in on my father's name.

I stare at her "I'm not intending to work for my father" I say coldly, "I want to carve out my own career on my own merits" I add.

"You may find that laudable intention difficult though. I mean, with the surname Cross people are going to immediately want to trade on the link with your father, you may find you are hired because of him rather than you" she says.

"Janice that's enough" Mr Landon snaps and he turns to me, "I apologise for my wife's outspoken comments Denise" he adds glaring at his wife. I feel uncomfortable and can't help think that there is more to Mrs Landon's bitterness than she is letting on.

I straighten my back and tip my chin defiantly, "That's fine Mr Landon, I am fully aware my surname can be a curse not only because of my father and his overwhelming success in the business world – I am used to people wanting to get to my father through me and my sisters. We are always on our guard about that. But there is also the more unsavoury side with what happened with Joel and Geoffrey Cross, and people's narrow minded desire to tar all of us with the same brush". I pause as I think about everything I had learnt about Geoffrey and Joel Cross after my dad had told me about them, not to mention Mr Landon's own prejudices against our family due to what Geoffrey Cross did. My mom and dad had always warned us not to Google my dad and that if we had any questions at all we were to ask so after my dad had told me about Geoffrey Cross when he found out I was dating Josh I had resisted the urge to just Google the man asked dad to tell me all about him, considering I was coming here for dinner, and so he had sat me down and gone into great detail of what he had done and Landon's resulting vendetta.

I quickly continue as I see the look on Mr Landon's face and he knows that is a dig at him, "I mean neither of them were good people, but the actions of my father's dad and uncle should have no bearing on the people we are. My dad is a very good man and he raised the Cross family name from infamy and disgrace to one which inspires respect and he built everything he has with his own hard work. I want to carve my own path adding to that respect but under my own steam and achieving or failing on my own merits" I stare at Mr Landon letting him know loud and clear I know of the bad blood and lingering resentment between the two families.

He smiles a genuine smile and nods at me, "I wish you every success with that ambition Denise and I have no doubt that you will accomplish your goal" he says sincerely.

"What do you want with my brother?" Jodie suddenly asks accusingly. It is the first time she has spoken to me and I detect more than a hint of animosity coming from her. The atmosphere in the room immediately takes another nose dive.

"Jodie" Mr Landon says warningly.

I look straight at her and smile sweetly, "Not that it is any of your business, what relationship Josh and I have is between us and does not concern you, but I will do you the courtesy of giving you an answer as I realise the reasons why you are asking. You are Josh's twin sister and therefore my understanding is you feel a certain protectiveness towards him and don't want to see him hurt, am I correct?" she opens her mouth to speak but I hold my hand up to stop her.

"I've not finished, I understand that protectiveness I have the same thing when it comes to both my sisters I would protect them with my life and I would do anything to stop them from getting hurt, I have seen first hand what a destructive relationship can be like. I am sure you are aware of the situation at the moment with my friend and Josh's friend, well all I can tell you is ..." I pause as my throat contracts and I take a gulp of the glass of water in front of me, I reach my hand out to Josh and he immediately takes it.

"I love Josh with all my heart and would never ever do anything to hurt him, he means the world to me" I say and I look at him letting him see the love I have for him.

I return my attention to Jodie who now looks uncomfortable, "so in answer to your question – what do I want with your brother? I want his love nothing more. I don't need your family's money, so I am not a gold digger and could never be accused of being one. I do not want to cash in on your family name as I have a perfectly good one of my own. I just love your brother and want to have a relationship with him without people butting in and ruining what we have together". I stop and look at her, the warning clear in my voice.

Jodie nods and then to my surprise a huge grin spreads across her face. "He said you were feisty, I like you!" she says.

I realise this was some sort of test on her part which I have obviously passed and I relax. Josh squeezes my fingers tightly and I look at him. The look he gives me in return makes my breath catch it is scorching hot. Josh's younger sister Hayley watches me carefully she has hasn't said much and from what Josh told me she is a couple of years older than me at seventeen, but she appears to be quiet and shy and very reserved.

The rest of the dinner passes in relative calmness, the air has been cleared and there is now a relaxed jovial atmosphere. I see Mrs Landon watching me closely and I am really getting some odd vibes from her and I wonder what her problem is.

I offer to help clear away at the end of the meal and everyone looks at me in shock, "What?" I ask.

"We have domestic staff who do that" Josh whispers.

"Oh" I say, then I shrug "We clear up after ourselves at home, my dad has a housekeeper who comes once or twice a week to clean the penthouse and who sometimes cooks us the odd meal but that's all" I say.

I realise this has surprised the Landon's and my guess is my down to earth mentality has made them uncomfortable. "Thank you for a lovely dinner, Mr Landon, Mrs Landon" I say politely as I stand to leave the table.

"You are very welcome, it has been a pleasure having you here" Mr Landon says and he touches my arm, "Please call me Ryan" he adds.

Josh grabs my hand and leads me from the room, "I'm so sorry about Jodie, she is a complete pain the ass just because she older than me by 6 minutes she exploits that fact and pokes her nose in" he says.

I wave my hand dismissively, "No don't be sorry, she is just looking out for you. I get that and trust me I would be twice as confrontational with any boys my sisters bring home!"

I look at Josh wondering if I should say what is on my mind, "Your mom was a different matter entirely though, what was her problem?" I ask.

Josh shakes his head, "I have no idea, I was quite shocked at the way she confronted you, she is normally really welcoming to guests so I don't know what got into her, but you held your own with her. My guess is my dad will have a word later as he was embarrassed by her and after he went out of his way to make sure your dad gave me a fair chance I think he felt it was a little hypocritical for her to treat you the way she did" he says.

"What do you want to do now?" I ask.

"Let's go to my room" he says pulling me along the corridor.

I sit down on his bed and watch him walking around his room, "I can't believe you are coming to Seattle with us" I say.

Josh nods, "I know, that was really good of your dad and your uncle" he says, "What are your uncle and aunt like?" he asks.

I smile as I think of them, "They're great, I love them to bits my Aunt Ana is a legend she is so kind and loving. Uncle Christian is quite up tight about security and keeping people safe, it's kind of an obsession with him. He has this thing about everyone has to be safe and he gets quite intense about it, he can come across as a bit aloof, cold and really intimidating if you don't know him. If I am totally honest he is a bit of a control freak and if you don't follow his directives he'll blow and he has a wicked temper when he does blow; but having said that he is nicest and kindest person you could wish to meet and he is so generous and really family orientated. I know that although they live the other side of the country all I have to do is pick up the phone and they would be there for me, and if I needed them they would be in the air within the hour to come and help. When my mom died they dropped everything and came to New York. My Uncle Christian was there when I was born, I am named after him and my Uncle Christopher along with Denise Steele who is Uncle Christian's aunt" I say.

Josh looks at me in total confusion. I smile apologetically and try to explain. "Uncle Christian's birth mom had a sister, Denise – she was in New York with Uncle Christian visiting my mom and dad. Mom was pregnant with me at the time, I'm not sure of all the details but my dad wasn't there, and mom went into labour Christian and Christopher helped support her and Denise delivered me. It was all pretty touch and go by all accounts because I got stuck or something and if it wasn't for what those three did I could have died. My dad arrived in time to see me born though, and in honour of the people who saved my life mom and dad named me after them so that's why I'm called Denise Christina Cross, Denise after Christian's Aunt and Christina after Uncle Christian and Uncle Christopher" I explain.

"I see, so your uncle is in touch with his birth family?" Josh asks.

"Just his aunt, his mom died which is why he got adopted by Grandma Grace and Carrick and he has two siblings Uncle Elliot and Aunty Mia you'll like them. Uncle Elliot is a scream, and Aunty Mia reminds me a lot of my Aunty Ireland – that's my dad's sister".

Josh stares at me, "This is confusing, all these relations who are all tenuously linked, I find it astounding that your dad and _the_ Christian Grey are brothers, two of the most powerful and wealthiest businessmen in the United States being related, it's incredible" he says.

I nod, "Yeah, they found a lot of links when they met" I say.

"How did they originally meet, was it through business?" Josh asks.

I shake my head, "No, before my dad met my mom he met Aunty Ana. I think she was in New York with her job or something, and they just randomly met by chance one evening. At that point in time she had just broken up with Uncle Christian – they had been dating for a while and so he was around as he was trying to win her back, but from what mom told me I think she struck up a friendship with my dad and he went to visit her in Seattle. Nothing more came of it though because she still loved Uncle Christian and then obviously he managed to win her back. She went back to Uncle Christian and married him but during that time, my dad and Uncle Christian had become good friends as well and then my dad met my mom, but during the time they were all together they discovered all these weird links between them all. My dad has never gone into detail but he just said there were loads of links between them which defied belief. Then they later found out that Uncle Christian's biological dad was Joel Cross and at that point dad assumed that Joel was his uncle and because he was dead, dad offered his DNA to prove or disprove the link. They assumed that it would come back that my dad and Uncle Christian were cousins or that there would be no link but it came back that they were brothers instead and it was then that dad's mom admitted she had had an affair with Joel Cross but let his brother Geoffrey think he was my dad's father" I pause, "they - that is my dad and Uncle Christian, decided to make it all public about the parentage of my dad and how he and Uncle Christian were brothers, he said it caused quite the media storm" I say.

Josh nods and he looks as though this isn't really news to him and he confirms this by what he says next, "Yeah, and the fact it all came out about your dad being sexually abused when he was a kid probably didn't help either" he says flippantly.

"What did you say? How did you know that?" I ask sharply.

Josh stares at me surprised at my response. "It's all public record Dennie, all you have to do is Google your dad and it's all there, the night he stood up at some charity dinner or something years ago and announced the launch of 'Ella's Lodge' that charity he was has with your uncle and he just came out with it about him and your uncle being brothers, and then he also talked about the abuse and he also outed a paediatrician who was there at the dinner as being involved somehow. I'm sure that's what happened, my dad told me about it and afterwards I Googled him. It was a feeding frenzy in the media at the time because of the overload of information broadcast that night along with what your uncle had also gone through as well when he was a kid..." He stops and looks at me, "You had no idea did you?" he says.

I shake my head, "No, and now I know why my mom and dad always told us never to Google my dad! Tell me everything you know" I demand.

Josh looks uncomfortable and grasps my hand and takes me downstairs and knocks on his father's study.

"Come in" Mr Landon calls and we enter, he looks up and frowns.

"What is it?" he asks.

Josh wraps his arm around me, "Dad you remember that story you told me about Mr Cross and Mr Grey from years ago last night how there was that court case and they both testified as to being abused and then how it all came out at that charity dinner when they outed that paediatrician as being involved – I kind of told Dennie, but I swear I thought she knew after all its her family and it's all there on the internet but she doesn't and now she wants to know what happened" he stops and Landon immediately stands and walks over to me I have tears rolling down my cheeks and he puts his arm around me.

"I am so sorry Denise", he says he turns to Josh and glares fiercely at him, "For god's sake Josh I told you to keep that information to yourself, just because Denise is Cross's daughter it doesn't mean she would automatically know everything that has happened in his life, there are things which you don't know about my past" he says.

He runs his hand through his hair, "What I am more concerned about is how _he_ is going to react to this, he will think we have done it on purpose" I look up at Josh and then at Ryan Landon.

"My dad doesn't need to know, just tell me what you know and I won't let him know you have told me and as you say it's all out there on the internet" I say.

Landon shakes his head, "No, I won't do that, it is unfair to him and to you" he turns and picks up his phone.

I realise he is calling my dad, when he speaks. "Gideon, Ryan Landon here, look I need you to come over, my son has told your daughter some things which have upset her... no she's sitting here with me now, she wants to know the truth about you and your past and although everything she wants to know is public record and accessible on the internet I don't feel it is my place to do that... yes... I understand that... my son told her about the events which all came out at that charity dinner when you and Grey launched Ella Lodges and it all came out about erm... your past. Yes I did tell my son those things, I just didn't expect him to blurt them out to Denise at the first opportunity and I also want you to know that he assumed she knew about the. There was no vindictiveness meant I assure you... yes I realise she is fifteen years old and that you want to protect her from things which happened to you, but the fact is your past is public knowledge and it's all there and quite frankly I'm surprised she doesn't already know considering all she would have to do is Google your name to find everything out. You were the one who made it public knowledge and so I think you are fighting a losing battle to stop your children accessing the information and also naive if you think that you can shield them from it as there are people out there who will delight in furnishing her with the facts about you, all the facts. So I suggest you talk to your daughter and tell her everything so she knows the truth and not the biased internet version or other people's skewed version of it... people who may have an agenda for telling her, and not someone who made a genuine mistake thinking she already knew".

I step towards Mr Landon and point at his phone.

"May I?" I ask.

"I'm putting your daughter on the line, she wants to speak to you" he says and then hands me the phone.

"Denise are you alright, what the hell is going on?" my father says with no preamble.

"Daddy, listen to me, I was talking with Josh and he was asking me about Uncle Christian, which is reasonable considering he is going to be staying in his house, and as we were talking he mentioned things that had happened in the past, which he thought I knew about because apparently they are all public record, if they are public why didn't you tell me? Why did I have to hear it from someone else? I have been begging you for a few years now to tell me what happened to you, but you said it was private and I accepted that but now I find out the whole world knows. I know a bit of it from what your mother said years ago, so why are you shutting me out dad?" tears are falling now and I dash them away angrily.

I hear him sigh and when he speaks I can hear the pain in his voice. "Denise I was trying to protect you, I wasn't shutting you out, I was protecting you and your sisters that is why your mother and I have always told you and your sisters _never _to Google me" he pauses and sighs, "I had already realised that I needed to explain everything and I was planning on telling you everything when we got to Seattle. I had arranged with John Flynn to have a therapy session with you and I was going to do it then in a controlled environment, but you are right, I should tell you. I broadcast to the world what happened to me years ago and now that decision is backfiring on me as people will come out of the woodwork and try and hurt you with it," he says bitterly.

"No dad please, Josh thought I knew and he wasn't being nasty. As soon as he realised I had no idea he took me straight to his dad and his dad phoned you, they are both so upset about this dad, but if you had just told me then none of this would have happened" I say.

"I'm on my way" my dad says after a slight pause.

"Alright, I'll see you in a couple of minutes" I say.

I hand the phone back to Mr Landon he takes it from me and puts it his ear, "He's gone" he says and replaces the handset. He immediately picks it up again and calls down to the lobby and informs the desk that my father is on his way here and to let him straight up.

We wait and a few moments later the elevator pings. We go out into the foyer as the elevator doors open my father is standing there dressed in his sweats and an old t shirt his expression unreadable. He glares at Josh who visibly shrinks under his gaze.

He ignores everyone and walks straight to me, "I'm so sorry sweetheart" he says as he wraps his arms around me.

"It's ok, come on dad and please don't blame Josh" I say.

I look up at my dad as I say this and he stares at me I raise my eyebrows and eventually he nods at me. We walk inside and Josh's mom is hovering just inside the door. She gapes at my dad, and it makes me feel quite uncomfortable as the way she is eye fucking him is almost obscene. I am used to women staring at him. I mean he's my dad, but you'd have to be blind not to notice that he's a good looking man and he keeps himself in shape. My mom always complained how women gaped at him wherever they went, and it was something I just got used to as I grew up. But there is something about the way she stares at him which isn't the same as what I've been used to and I feel my father stiffen as he sees her.

"Gideon, it's been a long time" she says smoothly.

I look up at my dad, "Janice" he replies coolly and without another word, Mr Landon shows us into his study. Josh follows and Mr Landon brings up the rear closing the door behind him.

"I can't tell you how sorry I am Mr Cross, I honestly thought Denise knew. I would never have said anything if I knew that she didn't know about it, I swear to you" Josh protests as soon as the door is closed.

"We were talking about Mr Grey and I was asking her what he was like and she told me the story of when she was born and how he was there with your other brother and his aunt. I got confused as to the family tree and the way you were all related to Mr Grey so she explained it to me and how you both made it all public about your parentage and the link with Mr Grey and how it had caused a stir in the media and I just made a flippant comment about how it didn't help with the fact you were abused as a kid and that was also made public that night, I thought seeing as she was telling me so much that she knew, as soon as I'd said it I saw the look on her face. She wondered how I knew about it and I explained what my dad had told me about how you came out with it at some charity event years ago when you announced you and Mr Grey were brothers and how it's all public record, I realised then she had no idea and I stopped, and took her straight to my dad, and he called you. I didn't mean to cause any trouble" Josh looks distraught and he is almost pleading with my father to believe him. Ryan Landon steps beside his son and puts his arm around him.

"He is telling the truth Cross, he loves your daughter and after her little speech at dinner I believe she loves him too" he stops and smiles at me, I go red and put my head down.

My father's head whips around and he faces me, "Denise?" he asks.

I shrug and try and make out it is no big deal, "Josh's sister asked me what I wanted with her brother, and I told her that although it was none of her business that I loved him… more or less" I say evasively.

I swear I see a small smile flicker on his lips for a moment, before he regains that damned impassive look he always seems to have in public and Mr Landon steps forward.

"Look, for what its worth Cross, she is a _really_ intelligent girl and so mature for her age, and she is damned strong so she can handle it, she is a real credit to you, so give her some credit and just tell her the truth as you are not protecting her by keeping it from her. There are people out there who will be only too happy to fill her in on the details and they will have an agenda to do so, you will be protecting her more by giving her the whole story from your point of view, the one that matters". He stops and looks at Josh, "Come on son, let's leave them alone for a few moments so they can talk".

I watch as they both turn and walk away. My dad just stands there rigid, his hands balled into fists at his side and he stares at me. I sigh and wrap my arms around his waist and press my head against his chest.

"Let's sit down" I say quietly, and we move over to a sofa. My dad looks completely shattered by this, I'm sure he never expected to tell me like this in the home of a man who until recently was his arch enemy and in a way I wish I'd just defied him and Googled him.

My dad leans forward and his head droops. His arms are resting on his knees and his hands are clasped in front of him, I place my hand on top of his and he lifts his head and looks at me, I see the pain in his eyes and it kills me.

"Listen dad, if you really don't want to tell me now and if you want to wait till we see John in Seattle it's ok" I say quietly, then I squeeze his hand "or I could just Google you" I add with a grin as I try and lighten the atmosphere.

This seems to strengthen him and he shakes his head, "No, Landon is right you need to know, I have so many people out there who have grudges against me and you are an easy target for them, and no you are not Googling me, that rule is in place for a reason" he says sadly.

I shuffle closer and wait for him to speak. He moves and wraps his arm around me.

"You already know some of this but I'll tell you again as it puts everything into context" he says and I nod and wait for him to continue.

"When I was five years old Geoffrey Cross the man who I thought was my father killed himself after being discovered as a fraud, and instead of facing jail he took the coward's way out. My mother quickly remarried and solidified that relationship by getting pregnant with my brother Christopher. The whole situation was pretty rough on me, I had had every shred of stability torn away, my dad died, and then suddenly another man appears and my mom is making a new life and a new family with him. I felt pushed out and rejected, I had reoccurring nightmares about my father's suicide which were dismissed as me attention seeking, my mom always dismissed me and shouted at me saying I was just like my father, I didn't realise it at the time but she meant Joel, you see she blamed me for being the product and reminder of her infidelity. Then when Christopher was born I was even more pushed out. So as a confused child I acted up, I was about 12 when Chris and my mother decided to put me into therapy as Christopher was starting to copy my tantrums, it was the therapist's assistant who... abused me, I started spending more and more time with him as my mother wasn't coping either and my therapist ended up dealing with her. He said I was starting puberty and I needed to masturbate to release the tension in me, I believed him and he said he would show me how to do it, so… I let him touch me at first, but things continued and he kept wanting to touch me, and things escalated, then one day he..." he stops and shakes his head, he is clearly uncomfortable talking about this with me. I grip his hand as tears start pouring from my eyes.

"Its ok dad, he raped you didn't he?" I say, the screaming I heard the other night now making sense, my father telling someone to get off him and that it hurt, it all made perfect awful sense.

My dad nods sadly, "After being violated a couple more times, I told my mother and she took me to a paediatrician but he was the brother in law of my rapist and he covered up the physical evidence I had – the damage which had been caused to me. He examined me and told my mom there was no evidence of abuse and that in his opinion I was just attention seeking and lying, so my mom believed him. Your mom and Aunt Ana went to the paediatrician and got him to confess what he had done and recorded it and then confronted my mother with the information. That was when your grandfather found out about it – my mom had never even told him, never said a word. He was so disgusted with her he left her and filed for divorce, my mother always blamed your mom for losing Chris but the truth is it was her actions which caused the split" he stops and looks at me. "So now you know" he says.

I nod, "How do the nightmares come into this?" I ask.

"I had, had nightmares since my father... Geoffrey Cross died, I had found him after he... anyway, but those were replaced by ones reliving what Hugh – that was the name of my rapist did to me. I was traumatised by what happened to me, and started suffering from nightmares bad ones, and in time I would turn into the aggressor in them. I didn't tell anyone about them as I had no-one to tell. I didn't trust therapists after what had happened to me, and it wasn't until I met your Aunt Ana and your Uncle Christian and confided in them what had happened to me that I found someone who believed me. Your uncle put me in touch with John Flynn and helped me get my closure on the situation – which for me was when I went public at the charity dinner and confronted the paediatrician who had lied. I finally had people who listened to me and who believed me and it helped. I had made small steps at first but with the help of John Flynn and my brother and with the love and support of your mother I gradually stopped getting the nightmares so frequently and eventually they stopped altogether – until the other night. But I think that was triggered by all the things which Jenny said, and it just brought it all back and was a reaction to it as I haven't had one again since, but I'm talking to John Flynn again just in case" he says.

I nod again and my dad looks at me carefully and I know he is wondering if I am going to ask anything else.

"Josh said something about Uncle Christian and what he had gone through and something about a court case where you testified and told of what happened to you?" I ask.

My dad nods, "There was a woman called Sybil Hanson, who was a paedophile and in the same paedophile ring as the man who raped me. I found evidence against her when I was searching for stuff on Hugh. Well she left New York and started a new life in Seattle, changed her name and reinvented herself. Your uncle knew her as Elena Lincoln, she befriended your Grandma Grace as you know she is a paediatrician and she targeted your uncle, but that is all I am going to say about that as that is his business and it is up to him and his place to tell you his story. But this woman Sybil Hanson was involved in the kidnap of your aunt. I testified at the trial and I was asked how I knew her and I gave all the evidence I had on the paedophile ring and explained that she was friends with the man who raped me and that is when it all came out about my past" he says.

"Is that why Uncle Christian supported you and helped you start your Ella's Lodges charity because he was abused too?" I ask.

"Yes" my dad says "but that is all I will say on that" he says firmly.

"Ok" I reply. "Dad, thank you for telling me, I know you were trying to protect me and you didn't want me to know about all this but I'm glad you have told me I am prepared now if someone does try and use this information negatively in the future" I say.

"I'm glad you now know in a way, as I am fully aware that all you would have to do is Google me and you would get the media version of everything that happened and this way you have got the true unbiased version of events" he says

I smile at him and reach for his arm, "Now I know why you and mom always said to us not to Google your name, she always told us that what was written about you wasn't necessarily the truth and that if we wanted to know anything we should ask the people in question not find out from the media".

I watch him react to the mention of my mother, "She was a very wise woman" he whispers, his voice hoarse with emotion.

I look at him he looks totally wiped out and I make a decision I stand and offer him my hand. "Come on dad lets go home" I say.

He stares at me, "but your evening with Josh?" he asks.

I shake my head, "He will understand, there is a more important man in my life who needs me at this moment" I say with a grin. My dad smiles at me and relief washes over me, he stands and pulls me close kissing my forehead, I squeeze him hard.

"I love you dad" I whisper to him.

"I love you too sweetheart and you make me so proud!" he says.

My father and I head home. Josh was perfectly fine with my decision; I think he was just so relieved that my dad wasn't angry with him that he would accept anything I said. I thank Mr and Mrs Landon once again for their hospitality before we leave and once again I see something between Mrs Landon and my dad. He had driven himself to the Landon's apartment and I climb into the seat next to him in the front.

"So, what's the deal with you and Mrs Landon?" I ask casually, my father looks at me and shakes his head.

"Nothing" he replies.

I snort, "Come on dad, the sexual tension between you was electric and the way she was eye fucking you… does she have the hots for you or something?" I ask.

My father shakes his head and sighs "We have history" he says in a cold clipped voice.

I recall her comment from earlier _'__it's been a long time Gideon'_ she had said to him meaning she knew him.

"History?" I ask pushing my dad to say more.

He shakes his head, "Drop it I'm not going there, not with that one" he says sharply.

I shrug casually, "Ok I'll ask her then, after all she was pretty rude to me over dinner" I say.

My father's head whips towards me, "What did you say? She was rude to you? How?" he demands.

I quickly outline her comments and how she assumed I was going to cash in on my name to get ahead in life and how people would only want me because of him, he bristles; he grips the steering wheel and shakes his head.

"She always was a vindictive bitch" he mutters.

"Come on dad what was her problem with you? I'm guessing her problem is with you? I mean she doesn't know me, but the fact I am your daughter seemed to really piss her off" I say.

I notice we have pulled up and we are home and I watch my dad sigh, his shoulders slump and he rubs his face, and when he turns to me he looks really sad.

"I'm sorry she took it out on you it was unfair especially considering how Landon virtually begged me to give his son a fair shot" he says.

"So tell me" I say.

My dad looks hard at me, "Before I met your mother… I wasn't a good person; I had issues because I had to deal with... everything on my own. I didn't have help to reconcile it and help me get over it, so I relied on my own way of handling... things". He stops and he is clearly uncomfortable about talking about this with me, I reach over and touch his hand reassuringly.

"Go on" I say.

He sighs and rubs his eyes, "I was an asshole Dennie, I was the sort of man I fear will come after you, and your sisters. I used women for sex, I picked them up used them and then dropped them, I got what I wanted and then left them and moved on" he says.

"But they all agreed to have sex with you, everything was consensual?" I ask carefully.

He glares at me, "Of course they did, I didn't force anyone to do anything!" he exclaims angrily.

I ignore the glare and angry tone and shrug, "So what's the problem? You are being too hard on yourself dad". My dad stares at me as if he can't believe what he is hearing.

"But…" he argues, and I hold up my hand.

"Before you say anything, I'm not condoning you just using women for sex as that is pretty bad by anyone's standards but you were fucked up from what had happened to you and you were dealing with it alone the best way you knew how. At the same time you had normal feelings young men have. You wanted sex, those women all agreed to have sex with you. You didn't force any of them to do anything they didn't want to do. I'm guessing if you behaved the way you say, you had some sort of reputation as a fuck 'em and chuck 'em player so they knew what they were getting themselves into, if they were still dumb enough to open their legs and agree knowing what you were like, well that's as much their fault as yours and says as much about them as it does you. I mean I wouldn't allow a man like that anywhere near me or give him the time of day, I certainly wouldn't willingly open my legs for him, knowing I was just going to be the latest notch on his bedpost" I say and then I stop as I see my father is staring at me as if he is seeing me for the first time.

"I can't believe you have just said that" he says eventually.

"What?" I ask, "It's the truth, and you know it, so was Mrs Landon one of your bedpost notches?" I ask with a grin.

A reluctant smile plays over his lips, "yes she was" he says, "but that stays between you and me and I am not discussing this any further with you, it is inappropriate and it makes me uncomfortable. You know far too much about my past as it is" he says. I detect the bite in his tone as he says this, I rub my hand up and down his arm reassuringly.

"Dad stop it, you were young free and single you behaved in a less than stellar manner but it was consensual. You didn't leave women feeling how Jenny is feeling at this moment, you were doing what young men have always done, you were thinking with your dick but the difference with you is you were also dealing with some pretty shitty issues" I say firmly.

"Enough Denise I don't want to discuss this anymore" my dad says sharply, I realise I have possibly gone too far but I felt it needed to be said.


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7

When we get inside, I sit with my dad. I am reluctant to leave him as he is visibly hurting; everything that has gone down tonight has really got to him. He tries to reassure me he is fine but I feel responsible and refuse to leave him, until he tells me he is going to his office to work. So I head to my room to start to pack for our vacation in Seattle as we are leaving the day after tomorrow. When I have finished getting my things together I pull out my phone and I am astonished to discover I have a number of missed calls from Jenny, so I quickly call her.

"Jenny what's wrong?" I ask.

"Oh my god Denise it's awful it's worse than you could imagine!" she sobs.

"Jenny what's happened?" I ask, as I am scared now by what she is saying.

"My step mother is only Mike's mom, remember how I told you she was in an abusive relationship and when she met my dad she left her husband for my dad. Well her husband was Donnie Foster, when your dad called my dad and told him everything he had dug up on those men who came to school and harassed you, she was there and she asked why he was discussing her ex husband. My dad flipped out and asked her what planet she was living on. I had no idea she was Mike's mom, I would never have started dating him if I'd known that, she knew Dennie. She knew it was her son and she didn't care, and now my dad has thrown her out and he is unhappy, it's all my fault" she sobs almost hysterically.

"Jen stop, it's not your fault" I say.

"You don't understand Dennie; she has taken Mike's side. It was awful Dennie, her ex husband is a complete monster and she practically admitted that when she left her ex husband he did... things to all his kids and that is why Mike is so fucked up, but then she realised what she had said and then she said that Mike wasn't like his father and that I must have led him on for him to behave like that but I didn't Dennie I swear I didn't. My dad threw her out, he was disgusted he didn't know that she was Mike's mom as she never said a word when he told her what he had done to me it was only when she heard him talking about her ex husband did she make comment, my dad was so angry when he realised. He said when she left she should have taken her kids with her and do you know what she said, she said she hated her kids because they had all been the product of rape and her ex husband made her keep them she said she wanted to abort them, she said that she never wanted kids but then in the next breath she is defending Mike and saying I'm to blame. I don't get it but my dad is so unhappy now, he loved her and its all my fault everything is my fault".

"Fuck!" I breathe, "Listen Jen I'm coming over" I say. I grab my shoes and pull them on and snatch up my purse and jacket, I am leaving my bedroom when I realise my dad will not let me go over there alone, so I go and find him. I find him still in his study working he looks up and smiles, but he still has a really sad expression in his eyes. I am torn now; do I go to my best friend or stay with my dad?

"Dad, something's happened" I say.

"What is it?" he asks giving me his full attention.

"Jenny called me she is in a state she found out tonight that her step mom is Mike's actual mom and she has taken Mike's side and Jenny's dad has thrown her out and now Jenny feels responsible, I need to go to her and see her, please dad. I need to she was in a terrible state when I spoke to her, is Raul available to take me?" I ask.

"Shit!" my dad breathes. He immediately picks up the phone calls Raul asking him to take me to Jenny's house.

"Wait dad, I won't go if you need me, I can tell you are still upset from what we talked about earlier at Josh's place and the stuff in the car, do you need me to stay with you?" I ask.

My dad smiles at me, "Denise your friend needs you more than I do, I am a grown man, big enough and ugly enough to take care of myself" he says. Raul appears and I move towards my dad and hug him tightly.

"I won't be long" I promise.

When I get to Jenny's she is a complete mess, Raul stays with me and talks to Jenny's dad while I try and console my friend.

"I'm going to drop the rape accusation" Jenny says.

"No you're fucking not!" I exclaim. "What kind of message does that send? He raped you Jenny you didn't want to have sex and he forced you to, numerous times!" I say angrily.

"But my dad is so upset" she whimpers.

"He's a grown man, he'll get over it!" I say, "What on earth did your step mom think she was doing suggesting you asked for it, that is wrong on so many levels" I say. I think of how my dad felt when his own mother didn't believe him after the paediatrician lied to her, my dad didn't have anyone else but Jenny has her dad.

"Your dad still believes you, doesn't he?" I ask.

Jenny nods, "Yes, that's why he threw her out for what she said, but he misses her I can tell, and I feel bad putting him in this position. I am just so confused she said one thing and that was in conflict with another thing she said, and why didn't she tell my dad Mike was her son?" she says.

I pull her into a hug, I am reeling from what has happened, I don't know how long we sit there me just holding her and rocking her, the door opens and Raul is standing there, he looks sympathetically at Jenny.

"How is she?" he asks quietly.

"Destroyed" I reply. I realise Jenny has fallen asleep on me, Raul comes over and gently removes her from me and we put her into bed and cover her up. I feel guilty about leaving her like this but I suddenly feel bone tired so I quietly leave my friend sleeping.

My head feels like it's going to explode on the way home. I sit in silence in the back of the car, and tears roll down my cheeks. I'm not sure how I feel, but I know that I don't feel very well, I look around the car and I suddenly feel like everything is closing in on me, all the events of tonight go through my mind, my dad is upset about having to tell me about his past, I know that and I feel responsible for forcing his hand before he was totally ready to talk to me and tell me, and now this with Jenny, that was a fucking shock who would have thought her step mom would turn out to be her rapists mom and the rapist himself was the product and victim of rape and abuse, that is fucked up beyond anything I have ever known and I have no idea how I can help her get through this. I am having difficulty processing it all, all I know is I need to be there for her, but then again we are going on vacation the day after tomorrow, which makes me feel guiltier for abandoning her to go and enjoy myself, but then I feel as though I can't take much more. People say I am strong and mature but at this moment I feel weak and vulnerable. I have no idea where to turn, I feel my throat close up and I have difficulty breathing, I grip the arm rest and look around wildly. I feel the car stop.

"Dennie what is it?" I look up and Raul is staring at me.

"Can't breathe" I gasp.

Raul jumps out the car and opens the rear door and pulls me out and he holds me telling me to take deep breaths, I am trembling but the feel of his strong arms around me relaxes me and I dissolve into tears.

"You're ok, I've got you" Raul says kindly as he helps me inside. I look up I hadn't realised we were home. He holds me in his arms while we travel up to the penthouse in the elevator. As he helps me through the front door my dad appears from his study and freezes at the sight of me.

"Denise? What the hell has happened?" he asks panic stricken.

"Daddy" I gasp and I lurch forward and fall into his arms.

"What's going on?" my dad demands.

"She needs you sir, I think she just had a panic attack. it must have been a reaction to everything that has happened tonight, her friend was almost hysterical and it took her a while to calm her down, so I think it's affected her more than she would like to let on" Raul says.

I look up suddenly irrationally irritated by being talked about as if I am not here, "She is here you know, and listening!" I say sarcastically, I am starting to feel better now and embarrassment is taking over which is causing my sarcasm. I feel my dad relax at my tone and Raul just grins with relief at me.

"Come on" my dad says gently.

He leads me into the sitting room and pulls me into his lap, I see Raul hovering until my dad dismisses him, as he turns to leave I look around at him feeling guilty for snapping at him.

"Raul!" I call; he stops and looks at me, "Erm… Thank you" I say.

He nods and leaves without another word.

"Right come on talk to me sweetheart" my dad says gently but firmly.

He sits rubbing my back, and I begin to talk. "I was going over everything, and I suddenly felt like everything was closing in on me and I couldn't breathe" I say.

"Ok, what exactly were you thinking about and what made you feel like that?" he asks gently.

I sigh, "I was thinking about you, how guilty I feel for forcing your hand making you tell me stuff you weren't ready to tell me, I'm sorry for that dad, I really am" I say and look up at him.

He shakes his head, "No you have nothing to apologise for or feel guilty for you did me a favour - honestly" he says.

"I was also thinking about everything with Jenny, she is a mess, and she feels guilty because of what's happened with her dad, and she is leaning on me and I feel guilty because I can't wait to go to Seattle and get away from all this and just relax and enjoy myself but I feel so bad for thinking like that because I am to blame for the situation Jenny is in because she was with me and it was my fault she got introduced to Mike in the first place, all this was going around my head and I just couldn't breathe" I say. I rest my head on my dad's chest and he lowers his head and kisses my head.

"We really need a session with John don't we?" he says quietly.

I nod, "I think talking everything out with someone not involved would be good" I say.

My dad is rubbing my back rhythmically and it's soothing me. "How do you feel now you have talked to me? Do you think you can hold it together till we get to Seattle or do you want me to give John a call now?" he asks.

"Yeah, I'm ok, I can wait till we get to Seattle and I'm sorry I worried you" I say.

"No sweetheart" he says and I snuggle against his chest.

"I wish mom was here" I say quietly.

I feel my father shiver a little and I squeeze him tighter, "Do you?" he asks, I feel the pain in his voice and I realise he thinks he isn't good enough.

I nod and explain my comment, "she would be able to help Jenny better than I can, I am trying to be there for her dad but I don't think I'm helping her" I say.

"What makes you say that?" he asks.

"It's weird she is leaning on me and talking to me and yet she seems kind of distant there is a distance between us now that there never was before, I just can't seem to reach her" I say.

My dad sighs "She has been through a devastating experience she has been violated repeatedly, she has had her dignity and control taken from her, so she is trying to establish and regain that control while going through untold anguish. It's hard to explain Denise, and I'm not the best person to explain it, I didn't have anyone to turn to. I had to deal with it alone. But I have a rough idea how she is feeling, she is confused, scared… she feels betrayed by her step mother she feels a sense of guilt because of the knock on effects and how they have affected her dad. She feels dirty and worthless and stupid that in her mind she let Mike do those things to her, she is in turmoil at the moment and all you can do is be there for her when she wants you to be, but you can't force your friendship onto her, she needs to control this. To feel she has got control back in her life, she called you didn't she? She reached out to you and you answered that call, and at the moment that's all you can do, but I don't want this to impact negatively on you, if you feel it is too much and you can't handle it you need to talk to me" he stares at me as he says this waiting for my acknowledgement that I will.

I listen carefully, I realise he is speaking from experience and how he felt and it hurts me to know he went through what Jenny is currently going through and he did it totally alone. I feel a surge of anger towards his mom for not believing him.

"Denise what is it?" he asks, I realise I have stiffened as I was thinking about _that_ woman.

I shake my head; "Just working things out in my mind" I say and I hope he buys it.

"Alright, I'll believe that for now" he says which tells me he didn't buy it at all.

"Thanks for the talk dad, I think I'm going to go to bed now" I say easing myself away from him.

"Alright" he says he is looking at me as if I am a bomb waiting to go off, but I manage a smile to try and reassure him.

"I'm fine now honestly dad and thanks for the chat" I say.

I watch him nod and he squeezes my hand, "That's what I'm here for, anything you need Denise I am always here for you" he says earnestly.

**oooOOOooo**

Jenny isn't at school the next day I text her but get no response. I decide to take my dad's advice and leave her alone and let her sort things out for herself and I tell her I am here for her when she needs me.

School passes in a kind of haze I am not paying attention and have been called out a couple of times today by exasperated teachers because I haven't been concentrating.

I am glad when the day comes to an end, I am so preoccupied I totally forget that I am supposed to stay in school until Raul arrives and by the time I realise I am half way across the school yard. I turn to head back inside when I see a figure step out of the shadows. I gasp when I realise that it is the man who exposed himself to us at the car. I go to run past him and he grabs me pushing me up against the wall. He touches the faded yellowing bruises still slightly visible on my neck.

"My little brother left his mark… didn't know he had it in him" he breathes, I am terrified I feel him press against me and he is aroused. I turn my head away and try and remember the self defence Aunt Ana taught me. He pushes his hand roughly up my shirt tearing it and I freeze.

"I have no idea why my brother went for that other bitch, as you are far tastier" the man murmurs. I feel sick and then I hear him unzip his fly, he grabs my hand and thrusts it between his legs so I am touching him, he is red hot and hard as stone as my fingers touch him he moans I want to be sick, but I push down my revulsion and try and keep from panicking, I realise this is my chance, as he presses my hand against his penis I grab it and his eyes widen, he thinks I am going to touch him but I yank his penis and twist it whilst digging my nails into it hard. He yelps in pain and releases me, it's all I need I push him away and run inside. I run into Liv and fall into her arms crying.

"Dennie what happened where were you?" she asks me.

I shake my head, but my torn shirt tells her all she needs to know.

"Did those men come back?" she asks the terror evident in her voice and visible on her face. I nod.

"One of them did but don't worry, Raul will be here in a moment" I say. I have barely got the words out of my mouth when I see him approaching, I am so relieved I run to him and fall into his arms.

"Jesus Denise what the fuck's happened?" he asks staring at me. He holds me at arm's length, "Did you go outside?" he asks sharply. I nod.

"One of them, the one who got his cock out..." I say but can't finish the sentence.

"Come on let's get home" he says, he pulls my shirt together and I fasten my jacket to hide the torn material. He escorts us outside and we go with him to fetch Zoe, I smile at her she is so innocent and happy, and I want her to stay like that.

When my dad gets home Raul tells him what happened and he tears me off a strip for going outside, I try and explain why I did it, but he is so angry, he paces as he speaks and although he isn't shouting his tone tells me he is furious with me.

"I'm sorry" I say quietly.

He pauses in his rant and his eyes soften; he walks towards me and pulls me close. "He could have done anything to you" he says, I hear the fear in his voice as he says this.

"I'm going to ask Aunty Ana for some more self defence techniques while we are in Seattle" I say, "I might ask Liv to do them with me so she is protected as well" I add.

"That's a good idea" my dad says.

**oooOOOooo**

I go upstairs and help Zoe pack her bags for the vacation she is sitting on her bed amongst a mountain of clothes and I put my hands on my hips. I can't help but smile as she tries to put her entire wardrobe in her suitcase.

"You know you can't take everything Zoe" I say.

"But I can't decide what I want to take and what I don't" she complains.

"I'll help you" I say as I sit down beside her.

"Denise?" Zoe asks carefully.

I look at her, "What?" I ask.

"What's going on?" she asks me looking up at me with innocent eyes.

"Nothing you need to worry about" I say, and I inwardly cringe as I sound like my dad as that is the sort of thing he would say when he doesn't want us to know things.

"But you're sad Denise, you are different now and it makes me sad" she says.

I hug her, "I'm ok" I reassure her.

I know Zoe is going to push this, she is like me she is stubborn and she won't be fobbed off. I try and work out what I am going tell her and how I am going to word it, because I know she isn't going to let this go.

"You know my friend Jenny?" I ask her.

She nods at me, "Well she is going through a really rough time at the moment, someone hurt her pretty badly and now a few other things are going on in her life and I'm trying to be a good friend and be there for her and I'm worried about her" I say.

Zoe nods, and then says something that makes me go cold.

"Did it have anything to do with that man?" she asks.

"What man?" I ask sharply.

"There has been a man hanging around outside the school for the past week or so… he talked to me, he asked me my name and I told him I that I didn't know him and so I couldn't tell him my name, he asked me if I was your sister and I said yes and he said he was your friend and he said he also knew Jenny so it was ok for me to tell him but I didn't and I walked away," she says this so calmly and now I am in turmoil with blind panic at this revelation but I don't want to scare her.

"Zoe, I think we should tell dad about this man, I mean he could have been lying and he isn't a friend of mine, what did he look like?" I ask.

She screws up her face and thinks, "He was tall a bit taller than you, he had brown hair, light brown it looked dirty and greasy..." she thinks hard, and then shakes her head, "I can't remember anything else" she says.

"That's ok Zoe, well I can tell you right now that I don't have any friend with dirty light brown hair so that man was lying and if he talks to you again you must go and find a teacher and tell them ok?" I say.

Zoe nods, "I didn't say anything because we are told not to talk to anyone who comes near the fence" she says. Fear appears on her face, "Will daddy shout at me for talking to him?" she asks.

"He might do, but we still need to tell him" I say.

I offer her my hand and she hesitantly takes it, as we head downstairs. I can hear my dad in his office moving about and talking. I knock and open it poking my head around the door. He looks up he is talking to someone and pacing around as he does so, he has his Bluetooth headset receiver on and I always think he looks funny when he talks to people like that.

He holds up one finger to let us know he will be with us in a moment so I usher Zoe in and point to the sofa and she sits down quietly. I sit beside her and we wait. I see my father frown as he watches Zoe enter. I'm sure he is wondering what this is all about.

"Well I want the full report on my desk by the end of the month, I am on vacation after today for three weeks so you have no excuse, you have ample time to get the figures and projections ready to present ...yes, look I need to go now so I will leave that with you... yes... I hope so... goodbye" I watch him pull off his headset and throw it on his desk; then he walks towards us and crouches down in front of us. I feel Zoe stiffen and she reaches for me. I take her hand and reassure her.

"What's wrong?" my dad asks looking from Zoe to me and back again.

Zoe looks up at me and I know she wants me to tell dad.

"Zoe is worried you are going to be angry with her because she did something at school which she wasn't supposed to do, but she has told me what she did and I think it's more important that she has confessed" I say.

My dad nods, "Ok, do you want to tell me what you did Zoe?" he asks gently.

Zoe nods, "I spoke to a stranger, we are not allowed to talk to people who come to the fence at school but this man spoke to me and I talked to him, but I didn't tell him my name or anything" she says.

"Alright, did he ask you your name?" my dad asks.

Zoe nods, "He did, he asked me what my name was I said he was a stranger so I couldn't tell him and he said he asked me if I was Dennie's sister… but he called her Denise, he said her name and I said yes he said it was ok for him to talk to me because he was her friend and that he knew Jenny as well, but I didn't and I walked away, I asked Dennie and she said he wasn't her friend. I described him she said she isn't friends with anyone with dirty light brown hair so he was lying" she stops and looks at my dad, and as I look at him I see that the colour has drained from his face.

"Ok, well you were a very naughty girl because you talked to the man and didn't walk away immediately, but you didn't tell him your name and you eventually walked away so on this occasion we will overlook what you did wrong, as long as you promise me that you will never ever speak to strangers who approach you in future" my dad says gently.

Zoe looks so relieved and she nods her head enthusiastically "I won't, I promise daddy" she says firmly.

"Alright, as long as you keep that promise we will say no more about it, if you break that promise I will have to punish you – do you understand?" he asks.

Zoe nods again, "yes daddy" she says. She reaches for him and wraps her arms around his neck, "I'm sorry daddy" she adds.

My dad holds her tightly to him and I see him close his eyes. "That's ok pumpkin, just don't do it again" he says.

I touch Zoe's arm, "Go upstairs Zoe and I'll be up shortly to help you finish packing for Seattle" I say. Zoe nods and releasing our dad she slides off the sofa and leaves the room.

My dad looks at me, "Do you think it was him?" he asks me.

I nod, "She said he was tall a bit taller than me and he had light brown hair which was dirty and greasy that's the only things she could remember but that could easily have been any one of those three men" I say.

"I'll inform Raul and I'll talk to the school" he says, then he reaches for me and he touches my arm "You ok?" he asks.

I nod, "I'm a bit worried they are targeting my baby sister she is eight years old, for god's sake" I say.

"You have to remember they have no boundaries and that is what makes them so dangerous" my dad says grimly.

I nod, "I'm going to help Zoe pack" I say changing the subject to trying to lighten the atmosphere, "She wants to take her entire wardrobe to Seattle!" I add with a grin.

My dad smiles tightly "Good luck with that" he says.


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER 8

We are on the plane, it is quite early as my father seems to want to be in Seattle at the crack of dawn, at least with the time difference it's not as early as it could have been but I am struggling as is Liv but Zoe is bouncing with excitement. We are waiting to take off my dad is sitting quietly with us, we are all fastened in and I look around. Liv is dozing her head keeps lolling and her eyes shutting.

"Liv" my dad says and she opens her eyes "As soon as we can move about go and lie down in the bedroom" he says.

Liv nods and closes her eyes again. Zoe is wide awake and hyped up, my dad is quiet but he looks reasonably relaxed. Josh is on my other side he is sitting quietly but looks like he is going to fall asleep again soon. He was wide awake when we picked him up; he was waiting for us in the lobby of his apartment block with his father. But now the desire to sleep has overtaken him. Raul is in the corner with a few more members of dad's security team, I look across at them they are playing cards. Raul senses me watching and looks across at me and smiles at me.

I close my eyes and relax into my seat I feel the plane moving as we taxi down the runway. As soon as we can move about my dad unfastens his seatbelt and turning to my sister who is now fast asleep he unbuckles her and lifts her into his arms and carries her to the bedroom. I follow him.

"Liv's really not a morning person" I say with a grin, "Although to be fair I think this still qualifies as the middle of the night!" I add looking at my watch it is half past six in the morning.

"I want to maximise our time in Seattle" my dad says simply. We head back out, Josh has also crashed. He has moved over to one of the sofas and is snoring gently. My dad grabs a blanket and covers him up. That small kind gesture makes me realise what a good man my dad is, he still isn't totally sure about Josh and he could have quite easily just left him but he didn't. My dad turns to me.

"Are you going to try and get some sleep as well?" he says.

I shake my head, "I'm awake now, but I may doze later" I say. My dad nods and turns his attention to Zoe.

"Come on pumpkin you need to go to bed too" he says firmly as he takes her by the hand and leads her towards the back of the plane to one of the other bedrooms. My dad has six private planes which he always used until we all came along, but then he bought this one which is purely for his use alone, all the others are linked to his properties – his clubs, hotels and casino's but this one is his and his alone and he had it made to his specifications, it has three bedrooms each with its own small en suite bathroom and is designed with family in mind rather than business.

My dad appears and looks at me, "I'm going to put my head down for a while and I would suggest you do the same" he says.

I glance at Josh, "Ok" I say. I have noticed that the card game has finished and Raul and the other men have settled down on the other sofas scattered around large open space of the plane. I follow my dad to the back of the plane and as he goes into his room I enter the room where my dad took Liv and I climb into my bed which is next to hers. I feel myself drifting off to sleep pretty quickly.

I open my eyes as I feel myself being gently nudged and I look up and Liv is awake and smiling at me.

"Dad said we are about to land we need to go and buckle up out there" she says. I throw back the covers and stand up stretching, I went to sleep in my clothes and so I am ready to go I glance at myself in the mirror I am a little wrinkled but I don't care. I brush my hair and teeth and head out. My father is there buckling in Zoe and handing her a glass of orange juice, he turns and smiles.

"Good morning" he says, "We will be landing in about 10 minutes so grab yourselves a drink quickly and come and sit down" he says. I look at Josh who is sipping a mug of tea.

I grab some juice and take my seat beside him, "Hi did you sleep ok?" I ask.

He nods at me, "yeah I slept well, thank you for the blanket" he says.

"That was my dad" I say, "He saw you had crashed and he covered you up" I explain. I look at Josh he looks nervous and he is very quiet.

"What's wrong?" I ask him quietly.

"Nothing, just a bit nervous about meeting your aunt and uncle" he says.

"You'll love them and they'll love you too" I say and I lean towards him and press a kiss to his cheek.

Our plane lands and taxi's to a halt and we make our way to the doors. Zoe is practically climbing up the door and as it opens she rushes out as my dad tries to grab her.

"Zoe!" he calls but she has already gone.

"Aunty Ana! Uncle Christian!" we hear Zoe call and as we look out we see she is half way down the steps and Uncle Christian is running towards the bottom of the steps to meet her, before she reaches the bottom she leaps and Uncle Christian catches her in his arms laughing.

"Where's your dad Zoe?" he asks.

"Oh he's coming" she says dismissively, and then she wriggles out of Uncle Christian's arms and runs to Aunty Ana and hugs her tightly, Aunty Ana grabs her hand and walks over to the steps and waves up to us, Liv descends next and hugs Uncle Christian tightly.

"Hi" she says and I see Uncle Christian say something to her but I don't catch what it is. I grasp Josh's hand.

"Ready?" I ask and Josh nods at me so we head down the steps with my father bringing up the rear.

"Hi Uncle Christian" I say with a grin as I reach the bottom of the steps and then I turn to Josh, "Uncle Christian this is Josh Landon my boyfriend, Josh this is my Uncle Christian" I look up "and this is Aunty Ana, hi Aunty Ana" I say as she walks towards me her arms open. I let go of Josh's hand and walk into her arms.

"Denise sweetheart how are you?" she says.

I smile, "I'm good" I say, the feeling of being here has done wonders for my mood, my dad was right getting out of New York was the best thing we could do.

I watch as Uncle Christian shakes Josh's hand and looks closely at him.

"Hello sir, I'm really pleased to meet you as I've heard a lot about you, from Denise and from my father" he says.

I watch Uncle Christian's eyebrows rise, "Your father?" he asks.

Josh nods, "Ryan Landon" he says.

Uncle Christian looks surprised, "You are Ryan Landon's boy?" he asks.

"Yes sir I am" Josh says and I see a look pass between my father and uncle and wonder what that is about. My aunt breaks the uncomfortable silence by embracing Josh warmly.

"Welcome to Seattle Josh, and I hope you enjoy your time here with us" she says.

Josh smiles widely, "Thank you Mrs Grey" he says politely.

I watch my dad affectionately embrace his brother and they have the usual back slapping embrace they always do. Then I realise Phoebe isn't here.

"Where's Phoebe?" I ask looking around.

Uncle Christian's face goes completely blank and impassive and shakes his head, "Phoebe is being punished… again" he says coldly.

"Come on lets get home!" Aunty Ana says quickly and we head to the row of cars waiting. I see Luke and Jason and I grin at them, Zoe has already commandeered Jason and she is holding his hand tightly and chattering away to him. I watch Liv say a shy hello to Luke and I smile she has always had a bit of a crush on him and it amuses me greatly.

"Hi Luke, Jason!" I call as I step closer and they both give me a broad smile. I introduce them to Josh and he stares a little intimidated by them.

"You will love the house" I say to Josh as we travel to my aunt and uncles house. "It's right near the sound and it has a private beach it's really quiet and peaceful there, it's wonderful!" I say.

Liv leans around me, "Dad proposed to our mom on that beach and they renewed their wedding vows there as well" she says. Josh nods taking it all in he is looking out of the window as we head towards the house.

When we arrive Gail is waiting for us, she holds open her arms and we all run to her, "Hi guys!" she says cheerfully and I pull Josh forward to introduce him.

"Josh this is Gail she is married to Jason and she runs the house and she makes a lasagne to die for!" I say. Josh smiles and offers Gail his hand politely; she laughs and pulls him into a warm hug.

My dad walks up and greets Gail warmly, "Gail how are you?" he asks as he hugs her.

"I'm very well Gideon, how are you? She asks all levity in her voice is gone and she looks at him closely.

"I'm fine" he replies and with a wicked grin he adds, "I'd be even better if I know I am going to get some of your lasagne at some point?" he says.

Gail laughs, "I will make some for dinner tonight" she says.

"You are a legend Gail" my father says and presses a swift kiss to her cheek.

We head inside and we take our usual rooms and I ask where Josh is going to be sleeping, Aunty Ana shows him to another guest room just down the hall. I go in search of Phoebe and find her reading in her room; she looks up and smiles at me as I approach.

"What did you do this time?" I ask as I enter her room.

Phoebe rolls her eyes and shakes her head, "My father is so damned unreasonable!" she complains.

"What did you do?" I ask again.

She shrugs, "left the house in the middle of the night and went to see my boyfriend" she says.

My mouth drops open at her blatant stupidity, "Shit Pheebs no wonder he flipped! What were you thinking?" I exclaim.

Phoebe stares at me in shock "You have no fucking idea, prisoners get more freedom than I do he doesn't trust me he doesn't listen to reason and he hates my boyfriend so what am I supposed to do?" she asks holding her hands out.

I sigh and sit down, "Phoebe, how the hell is he going to trust you if you keep doing stupid things like that?" I ask.

Phoebe snorts, "You sound like mom!" she snaps.

"Your mom is right" I retort. I touch her arm, "Phoebe, things have happened recently which have made me realise Uncle Christian and my dad are right when it comes to security and shit, totally right" I say.

Phoebe shakes her head, "No! Don't try that with me, your dad is far more relaxed and reasonable, hell you have even brought your boyfriend with you!" she says.

I stare at her, when did my cousin become a complete brat? "That is because I earned that trust!" I say quietly.

"Oh fuck off Denise you know shit about my life!" Phoebe snaps, I turn and see Liv staring at Phoebe with her mouth open.

"You will apologise Phoebe – if you knew what had happened to Dennie recently you wouldn't say that!" Liv says.

"It's ok Liv" I say reaching out towards my sister.

Phoebe looks at me, "What's happened?" she asks, I pull down my collar and show her my neck the bruises are almost gone but there is still a hint of them. Phoebe gasps. "Who did that?" she asks.

"It's a long story" I say sadly, "and let's just say, it has made me realise a few things and not only that but my dad has booked us in to see John Flynn while we are here". Phoebe reaches for me and places her hand on top of mine.

"I'm sorry, I'm here if you want to talk to me" she says.

I glance at Liv who holds up her hands, "I'm going" she says and leaves the room.

Phoebe immediately shuffles towards me, "what's happened" she asks.

"Wait" I ask and go to the door and look out Liv has gone. I return and sit beside Phoebe.

"A shit load of stuff has happened recently" I say. I tell her the whole story, everything about Mike and how he latched on to us and how he took up with Jenny and what he did to her I tell her what Jenny told us and how he had forced himself on her, the incident at the burger bar and the issues we were having with his family now, Phoebe listens her mouth dropping open.

"Oh my god Dennie, he sounds like an animal" she says and I nod.

"That is why I was warning you Phoebe, if your boyfriend is coercing you into doing things which you know are wrong then he isn't good for you is he? When Josh found out I had been lying to my dad and skipping school he ripped me a new one and he made me see it was better to be honest with my dad and build up trust" I say.

Phoebe smiles, "yeah but your dad can be reasoned with, whereas mine is impossible!" she says.

"Have you even tried?" I ask.

"Tried what?" she asks.

"Just talking to him, without confrontation, without screaming and shouting and definitely without lies" I ask.

She looks at me sheepishly, "I guess not" she says quietly.

There is a knock at the door, "Hello" Phoebe calls and Josh pokes his head around the door.

Phoebe stands and smiles, "Hi you must be Josh!" she says.

Josh grins at her, "I am and you must be Phoebe" he says holding out his hand to her.

She looks at it and then pulls him into a hug. "Hi Josh" she says.

I watch as Josh pushes her away gently and sits down beside me, grasping my hand.

"So what are the plans for today?" he asks as he looks at us both in turn.

Phoebe shrugs, "I'm grounded in here today, I think dad has arranged some kind of lunch on the beach for everyone, and I think today is a lazy day just settling in, but everyone is coming tonight for dinner though" Phoebe says.

"Everyone?" Josh asks.

Phoebe nods, "Grandma, granddad, Uncle Elliot and Aunt Kate and Aunt Mia and Uncle Ethan" she says as she reels off the names.

I grin, "brilliant, Josh you will love Uncle Elliot he is so funny!" I say.

Phoebe laughs, "You wait till you see Aunt Mia she is huge!" she says.

"Aunt Mia is pregnant again" I explain.

Josh nods, but doesn't say a word as all this is clearly going over his head.

"How many kids does Aunt Mia have?" I ask looking at Phoebe.

"This one will be their third, why they are bothering having more kids when they got twins on the first go I have no idea!" she says.

"DENISE, JOSH!" I hear my father calling and I stand up.

"Sounds like we are wanted" I say with a grin.

Phoebe smiles, "I'll talk to you later, seeing as I am confined to my cell" she says.

We go downstairs and my dad is standing with Uncle Christian and I'm happy to note that he looks relaxed and happy, but he always does when he is here and that makes me happy.

"You hollered!" I say sarcastically.

My dad grins, "We are going down to the beach and we were wondering if you wanted to join us?" my dad asks.

I hesitate, "Uncle Christian, can't Phoebe come too?" I ask.

"No she can't, she has to learn that her behaviour is not acceptable" he says sharply and I stare at him.

"Have you just tried talking to her?" I ask bravely. He stares at me, and I take a deep breath and continue. "I mean have you tried just talking rather than barking orders and laying down the law?" I ask.

"Denise" my dad says warningly.

I watch as my Uncle looks like he is going to blow a gasket and he just stares at me. I am reprieved by Raul who comes running over and grabbing my father's arm pulls him to one side. Uncle Christian forgets about me and joins my father. I watch as Raul is explaining something and shaking his head, he looks shattered and apologetic. They talk for a few moments and as I watch I see fear, and anger cross my dad's face. He takes a shot look at me and then turns his back and speaks to Raul insistently. Uncle Christian looks grim as he listens and he puts his hand on my dad's shoulder and says something to him. I stare at his back and walk tentatively towards him.

"Dad?" I ask carefully.

My father turns and holds out his arms to me I walk into them and look up at him.

"What's happened?" I ask.

"Denise you need to go and have fun with your sisters" Uncle Christian says and I know he is trying to fob me off. I turn and stare at him.

"No, I won't be fobbed off, something has happened and my dad and I trust each other we don't have any secrets" I return my attention back to my dad, "Do we dad?" I say.

"No we don't sweetheart, and I promise you I will discuss everything with you but I need you to go and be with Josh and your sisters for a while, I need to talk with Raul and my brother and work some stuff out and then I will talk to you and tell you everything I promise" he says.

I look up at him and nod, "Ok" I say and pull away from him. I turn to my uncle, "Uncle Christian, please let Phoebe come down it seems wrong we are all out here and she isn't, plus if you and dad are going to talk that means Aunty Ana is going to be alone with us which just doesn't seem right".

I watch as my uncle's eyes soften a little and he shakes his head, "You, young lady are a fine negotiator" he says.

I grin, "I learnt from the best" I say Uncle Christian looks at my dad, and I shake my head, "I don't mean him, I mean my mom, she was the best and she could talk my dad around to do almost anything she wanted!" I say. I see my dad's sad smile and I rub his arm reassuringly.

Uncle Christian calls upstairs for Phoebe to come down and a few moments later she joins us and we head down to the beach.

"How did you get him to change his mind?" she asks looking at me in awe.

"I negotiated, and you're welcome! You owe me one Pheebs!" I say.

I watch as Phoebe runs over to Liv and Zoe and joins in with their game, Josh approaches me.

"What's going on I thought I'd leave you alone with your dad and uncle things looked a little intense there?" he asks.

I shake my head, "I don't know, but my dad promised he would tell me later, if he is talking to Uncle Christian and Raul though I would say it is something to do with security and he is getting all the advice and info he can before he hits me with it" I say.

Josh holds out his hand, "Come on try not to worry about it lets go and enjoy ourselves".

**(GIDEON)**

"Sir, I need a word" Raul says as he approaches me, my brother immediately looks across paying attention to Raul and steps close to me.

"We are still working on finding out the details but it would appear that Donny Foster has a link with someone at the school, which is why his son managed to get access to the grounds and why there appears to have been serious lapses in security, its unclear what the link is yet or who it is but we are working on it, but the more disturbing thing is I believe our security has been compromised, I believe we have someone within our ranks working against us, now this is just a theory at present but the fact I was delayed getting to the girls by security issues which turned out to be false and on those occasions the girls were approached by Foster and his family doesn't strike me as a coincidence but as I say I am working on finding out the reasons behind this, I could be wrong and I hope I am but I have a nasty feeling this goes deeper than we anticipate and there is a possibility that your daughter was targeted by someone" he says.

I feel the blood roaring in my ears and I feel dizzy with panic. I had voiced my concerns to Raul and asked him to look into it and find some answers and it appears the answer he came up with is worse than we had feared.

I stare at him, "Landon? Is he involved as well, is he linked with this and targeting my daughter?" I ask tightly.

Raul shakes his head, "No I don't think so, he _had_ managed to shake off Mike Foster but when he started seeing Denise it appears it was then Foster made a reappearance in his life and that is the assumption we are making with this, that as soon as Landon took up with Denise, Foster moved in, but I will hopefully have more information by the end of the day, I have my most trusted ops on this sir we will get to the bottom of it" he assures me.

"Thank you, the most important thing here is I want the person who is compromising our security found and fired, I need to know what I am facing here" I say looking at Raul carefully.

He nods at me, I trust this man implicitly and I know that by the end of today at the latest he will know everything there is to know.

"Dad?" My attention is drawn to Denise who is watching us closely.

I turn and hold out my arms to Denise, I have to hold her and having her in my arms I know she is safe.

"What's happened?" she asks me, as she can sense I am distressed.

"Denise you need to go and have fun with your sisters" my brother says. I watch as Denise stares at him and I smile this won't go down well, I have a feeling Denise and my brother will be clashing a lot on this vacation as they are both head strong, opinionated and wilful.

"No, I won't be fobbed off, something has happened and my dad and I trust each other we don't have any secrets, do we dad?" she says looking towards me to back her up, I realise I have to step in here or Denise will be creating more issues.

"No we don't sweetheart, and I promise you I will discuss everything with you but I need you to go and be with Josh and your sisters for a while, I need to talk with Raul and my brother and work some stuff out and then I will talk to you and tell you everything I promise" I say reassuring her.

She looks up at me and nods, "Ok" she says and I feel her pull away from me, I stifle a laugh as she then turns to my brother to persuade him to allow Phoebe to join us, "Uncle Christian, please let Phoebe come down it seems wrong we are all out here and she isn't, plus if you and dad are going to talk that means Aunty Ana is going to be alone with us which just doesn't seem right" she says.

I watch as my brother is totally manipulated by his young niece, "You, young lady are a fine negotiator" he says to her.

She grins and what she says next makes my heart lurch "I learnt from the best" my brother looks at me and she shakes her head, "I don't mean him, I mean my mom, she was the best and she could talk my dad around to do almost anything she wanted!" she says, she rubs my arm and the ache in my chest increases.

My brother calls upstairs for Phoebe to come down and a few moments later she joins us and I watch as she and Denise leave and head down to the beach.

**(DENISE)**

We have a wonderful time on the beach playing an impromptu game of beach volleyball, I am surprised how good Aunty Ana is, she gives Liv a run for her money and she is on the school volleyball team.

A short while later my dad and Uncle Christian rejoin us and although they look preoccupied they join in and what was a friendly relaxed game suddenly becomes far more serious and competitive. It is hysterical to watch them.

"Daddy its only a game" Zoe cries as my dad shouts foul practically every time Uncle Christian does something and everyone bursts out laughing at her serious expression and her hands on her hips as she rebukes my dad.

"You've been told dad" Liv calls and my dad just grins. I watch Phoebe she looks enviously at the way we interact with our dad, there is a distance and awkwardness between her and Uncle Christian and it's sad. It's almost as if she is always on her best behaviour and there is no looseness and spontaneity between them, he loves her and she loves him that much is obvious but their relationship isn't like ours is with our dad, although admittedly it has only been this good for the past month or so. Plus as I watch I notice Uncle Christian telling Phoebe to be careful every time she moves, as if he is terrified she is going to get hurt. My dad notices this too and even calls him out on it.

"Hey bro, give it a rest will you! What's the worst that can happen? We are on a beach, so what if she falls over" he says quietly to my uncle.

I decide I want to talk to him alone as I have numerous things I want to talk and ask about I go and grab a bottle of water and I fetch one for Uncle Christian and hand it to him. He smiles at me as he accepts it.

"Thank you" he says.

"Uncle Christian, can I talk to you about something?" I ask.

He stares at me and nods, "Of course you can, do you need to speak to me alone?" he asks.

I nod "Not now" I hastily add "At some point today, I just want to talk to you and ask you about some things" I say.

"Alright" he says, "We'll go to my study after lunch".

"Thank you" I say.

After a fantastic barbeque on the beach where it becomes clear that my dad and Uncle Christian both think because they are doing a bit of grilling that they are Gordon Ramsay! They both take turns in cooking the food and then after a while we all head back to the house. I catch up with my uncle and slip my hand around his arm.

He looks down at me and smiles, "Hello Denise, I take it you want to talk to me now?" he asks.

"Yes, if that's alright with you?" I ask.

He nods and we walk towards his study. My father looks questioningly at me. "I am just going for a chat with Uncle Christian" I say, "I want to catch up with him!" I say dismissively.

My father nods but the way he looks at me says he thinks there is more to it than I am letting on and he would be right there is.

When we reach Uncle Christian's study he gestures to the sofa and sits down beside me, he leans forward his elbows on his knees and clasps his hands in front of him.

"What do you want to talk about?" he asks.

"Stuff" I say lamely.

He smiles, "That covers a wide spectrum" he says.

I look carefully at him, "How resistant are you at talking about your past?" I ask carefully.

His face closes down immediately and he leans back folding his arms. "What about my past?" he asks coldly and more than a little defensively.

I reach forward and touch his arm. "I know everything about what happened to my dad when he was a kid, how he was sexually abused and raped and how he was before he met mom, by all accounts he was a bit of a man whore, picking up women as one night stands screwing them and then dumping them. Then how there was some court case where you and my dad gave evidence and it came out about your pasts and then at some charity dinner, my dad broadcast stuff that happened and you also said some things about your past. I was wondering what specifically happened to you? I mean I could dig around and Google you but I thought I'd come to you openly and talk to you and get the truth from you" I stop and look at him.

"Why?" he asks.

I sigh and shake my head, "I don't know, something is niggling at me, things don't seem to be right, everything that has happened with Mike and Jenny and how his family are now targeting me, and how they manage to get past security at school which is top of the line, something just doesn't sit right with me and I am trying to figure it out, and the only thing I can come up with is that it is someone from either your past or dad's past looking for some kind of retribution, and as the guy who raped dad is dead and the doctor who lied is out of the picture I have to look at other angles".

I watch my uncle smile and he uncrosses his arms. "You are a very smart girl Denise, Raul is working on the same assumption, but I really don't want my past in your head" he says.

"Dad said the same thing, but I have my dad's past in my head and my best friends attack now, one more isn't going to make much difference" I say with a shrug.

Uncle Christian stares at me I look him straight in the eye and marvel at his astonishing grey eyes, mom's eyes were grey but Uncle Christian's are like lasers hers were more of a stormy grey. I watch him think things over.

"If you are determined to go and find out for yourself anyway, I would prefer you heard the story from me so I will tell you but please don't push for details" he says.

I nod and wait for him to speak, he takes a deep breath. "My mother was abandoned by Joel Cross when she got pregnant with me, she tried to manage, but her father disowned her. Her sister Denise who you are named after kept in touch with her and she was there when I was born. My mother took up with a man called Tony Garrett he was a drug dealing pimp who fed my mother drugs and got her prostituting herself, he physically abused me. He punched me and kicked me across rooms and he stubbed out cigarettes on me. My mother died of an overdose and I was with my mother's body for four days before he called in the death. I was taken away and adopted by Grace and Carrick. My early experiences left me with many issues, I was afraid of being touched and I became an angry young man. My mother's friend seduced me when I was fifteen years old and she introduced me into a lifestyle which I believed helped me for years. But in reality it was just another form of sexual and physical abuse. I knew the woman as Elena Lincoln but when I met your father we discovered he knew her as Sybil Hanson, but even that was just another alias, she was a paedophile who operated in various parts of the US and while she was in New York she operated within a paedophile ring which your father had smashed as his rapist who he was trying to bring down was also involved in it. She always managed to wriggle out of facing justice as she had information on officials in the city's she lived which she could use to blackmail them with so that they would help her. We discovered her real name is Helen Ellis, anyway, along with her step brother Stephen Morton they were responsible for kidnapping Ana, and that is the court case you were referring to" he stops and I stare at him when something jolts me hard.

"Uncle Christian, did you just say her name was Ellis?" I ask and he nods.

"At school we have a new Vice Principal her name is Hilary Ellis, now it could be nothing I mean Ellis is a pretty common surname but did that woman you know have any biological brothers or sisters?" I ask.

My uncle stares at me and then he reaches for his phone. "Taylor I want you and Raul in here now" he barks, "and find Gideon he needs to hear this as well" he adds.

Moments later I am telling them about our new Vice Principal and I watch as Raul stares at me in surprise. "Why am I only hearing about this now? When did this woman arrive at the school we should have been informed about changes in personnel?" He says.

I shake my head, "She hasn't been there long, only about a month at the most" I say I look around at the four men staring at me.

"What?" I ask.

My dad pulls me close, "this information is very important after what Raul has already found out" he says.

I nod and realise something significant has happened.

"Which you are going to tell me about aren't you?" I push.

My dad nods, "Yes sweetheart I will tell you about it" he says.

"Did you want to speak to me about anything else Denise?" my uncle asks.

I nod, "Well, yes actually, but it's got nothing to do with any of this" I say.

He nods, and turns to the men, "Taylor, Raul I suggest you look into this link and see if you can find anything" he says they both nod and leave, then he turns to my dad, "If you will excuse us, your daughter feels the need to talk to me about something else" he says with a grin.

My dad slaps his shoulder, "Good luck with that bro!" he says and then plants a swift kiss on my head before leaving us alone.

We sit down again and my uncle looks expectantly at me.

"I want to talk to you about Pheebs" I say.

I watch as his eyebrows rise, "Really?" he says.

I frown, "don't say it like that, I'm worried about you both" I say.

He stares at me, "Worried? Why?" he asks.

I stare at him "Because quite frankly your relationship is in the toilet, you treat her like a prisoner and although I will say she hasn't been behaving brilliantly, you both need to sit down and talk rather than scream at each other and without you throwing your weight about and going all control freak on her" I say.

I watch as my uncle stares at me, I don't think he can believe what I have just said.

"I beg your pardon?" he says tightly.

I raise my eyebrows, "You heard me" I retort "and tough shit if you don't like hearing it, because you are going to drive her further and further away, with your attitude you need to sit and listen to each other".

I watch the explosion as it happens and it's almost in slow motion, "HOW FUCKING DARE YOU, YOU SIT THERE AND TELL ME ABOUT MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY DAUGHTER AND SPEAK TO ME WITH THAT DISGUSTING LANGUAGE!"

I stand up my hands on my hips and lean fearlessly towards my furious uncle, "Please don't yell at me Uncle Christian I'm trying to help you and I must say that's hypocritical talking about my language when you just dropped the f bomb on me and besides I've heard you say fuck and shit for as long as I can remember, if my language is disgusting it's only because I learnt those words from you" I say.

"DOES YOUR FATHER ALLOW YOU TO SPEAK LIKE THIS?!" he yells as he loses it, he is waving his arms around and his face is now an impressive shade of red.

"Yes I do Christian" my father says we both turn and see my dad in the doorway.

Uncle Christian really has lost it completely he is ranting and my father just stares at him. He walks over and wraps his arm around my shoulder.

"What did you say Denise?" he asks me calmly.

"I was telling him how worried I am about him and Pheebs I said that he and Phoebe need to sit down and talk reasonably to each other without screaming and yelling and him behaving like a control freak, I told him his relationship with her was in the toilet and if he wasn't careful he would push her away completely, he seemed to take offence to that so I said tough shit if he didn't like hearing it and that was when he lost it and started shouting which I'm sure you heard" I say.

My dad nods, "Denise, first of all I would like you to apologise to your uncle for using bad language at him. I don't have a problem with what you say to me as I know that I use bad language on occasions and I just prefer the fact you are being honest with me and besides I believe that there are worse things in the world than a little bad language now and again. However, I assumed you would understand that it isn't always appropriate to use that sort of language to other people and your uncle has taken offence, so please apologise to him".

I shrug, "Ok I'm sorry I said I don't give a shit but I still think it's hypocritical you are calling me out on that when you dropped the F bomb and I've heard you say far worse for years" I say defiantly.

My uncle is pacing and he is running his hands through his hair, "I have never been spoken to like that in my own home" he rants.

I walk up to him and touch his arm, he glares at me, I speak quietly "Uncle Christian, I am seriously worried about you and Phoebe, she is your daughter and she is your only kid your relationship should be tight, I'm sorry I was so blunt how I put it but I told her the same thing earlier when I talked to her, she was behaving like a brat and I asked her if you two had ever just sat and talked without yelling at each other, she said no. I told her she shouldn't have done the stuff she did as there was no way you'd trust her if she did stupid things like that but on the other hand you are not inspiring any trust from her in you if you are not going to listen to her point of view and just shoot her down and act all unreasonable" I stop and stare at him, he is still glaring at me and I think I am wasting my time.

In the end I just throw my hands in the air, "I tried" I say helplessly I look at my uncle, "I just hope you don't live to regret what you are doing, I would give anything to have my mom back and just talk to her and have that relationship. Please don't screw up your relationship with Phoebe on a point of pride, because life is just too short" I look up at my dad. "I'm sorry if I've embarrassed you dad, that wasn't my intention I just wanted to try and help, Phoebe is as much to blame and I have told her so, the difference is she listened to me… I'm going to find Josh" I take a shot look at my uncle who has no expression at all on his face now, I recognise that impassive look as I've seen it before on my dad's face. I feel the urge to hug him although I have a feeling he will push me away.

I walk bravely up to my uncle and wrap my arms around his waist and I feel him stiffen, "I love you Uncle Christian, and I was just trying to help" I say as I squeeze him, to my surprise his arms come around me and he awkwardly hugs me. I pull away and leave him and my dad alone.

**(GIDEON)**

I think the entire household just heard my brother explode at Denise, I was near the study and I immediately went to find out what she had done to cause that sort of outburst.

I opened the door and took in the stand off my daughter standing defiant and my brother equally so.

"Please don't yell at me Uncle Christian I'm trying to help you and I must say that's hypocritical talking about my language when you just dropped the f bomb on me and I've heard you say fuck and shit for as long as I can remember, if my language is disgusting it's only because I learnt those words from you!" she says calmly to him and I have to try hard not to laugh out loud at that remark as she is spot on with that assessment.

Neither of them have noticed my arrival; a smile of pride crosses my lips she isn't intimidated by him she has confidence and belief in whatever it is she has said and he is rapidly unravelling. I wonder what she said to him? My guess is she probably used a few curse words which has got him so worked up, I don't have a problem with how Denise speaks to me, we have an incredible relationship now and I appreciate her honesty but I am guessing that brutal honesty hasn't gone down well with my brother.

"DOES YOUR FATHER ALLOW YOU TO SPEAK LIKE THIS?!" my brother yells at her, I realise I need to step in.

"Yes I do Christian" I say, they both turn and stare at me. I ask Denise what she has done and she explains to me her actions, I have to say I agree to a point with what she is saying, my brother is so heavy handed with Phoebe he doesn't realise his actions are only pushing her away. I tell Denise to apologise for cursing which she does only to call out my brother on his language once more.

My brother is more upset that Denise has told him some home truths and he has no idea how to handle it, I watch as Denise continues to speak and when she tells him she would give anything to have her mom back. I just want to wrap her in my arms, I can see what she is trying to do, and I believe my brother also can but his pride is getting in the way. When she walks bravely up to him and hugs him and tells him she loves him I see his resolve crumbling and he relents and hugs her back.

I watch her leave the room and I look at my brother closely.

"She's quite a girl isn't she?" I say trying to lighten the atmosphere. My brother shakes his head.

"I have never been spoken to like that before in my own home" he says.

I stare at him, "Christian did you listen to her at all? She apologised to you but everything she said was from a good place she was trying to help, and I'm sorry bro but I do have to agree with her, to start with it was hypocritical to call her out for cursing and then curse yourself, we both use bad language and always have and we both know that we have slipped up in the past and cursed in front of the children as they have been growing up so it is inevitable they would pick up on the more colourful words, but in the big scheme of things there are things she could be doing which are a damn sight worse than uttering a few curse words. I take full responsibility for the way she spoke to you as I have encouraged her to talk to me honestly and openly I don't call her out on her bad language so she obviously believed as you are family it would be ok. But what she said, she has a point, I saw it myself the way you were with Phoebe down on the beach you are suffocating the girl" I say.

My brother glares at me, "I will not apologise for trying to protect my daughter, she is _my _daughter and my only child, if anything happened to her it would kill me, I need to keep her safe" he says.

I look at him compassionately, "I get that bro, more than you can possibly imagine but you are just pushing her away she doesn't trust you enough to let you in because she knows you will over react and go off the deep end, I'm not perfect and I learnt the hard way that there has to be give and take you can't keep her locked up she will rebel and you will end up losing her one way or another" I say.

"She's a child I need to protect her" he says.

"You also need to let her live and learn from her mistakes" I say.

I watch him sag, I walk over and put my hand on his shoulder, "why don't you and Phoebe just talk, sit and talk and just listen to each other?" I ask.

He stares at me, "I am the parent here it is my job to make the rules and Phoebe's to abide by them" he says.

I shake my head, "Phoebe is a young woman now with a mind of her own and all she wants to do is spread her wings and honestly Christian you have to let her" I say. I pause a moment and I remember a conversation from years ago, "Christian, do you remember what you told me about your teenage years?" I say, and he stares at me.

"I was completely fucked up" he says sharply.

"Yes but you were kept on a tight leash and what did you do – you rebelled against it" I say. I watch him think about this, "Look what happened… you ended up in the clutches of a paedophile for years" I add.

"That's not fair" he says.

I shrug, "Maybe not, but it's true" I say.

I talk with my brother a while longer and I can see him gradually coming around to what I am saying. I suggest that he and Phoebe have a joint session with John and talk out their differences with a professional, he considers this and then he asks if Denise and I would consider participating instead. He looks at me with sadness in his eyes.

"I watched you today with your girls, I want that with Phoebe" he says.


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9

**(CHRISTIAN)**

I swear I have never been so insulted in my life, the way Denise spoke to me. I know I shouldn't have cursed at her as I lost the moral high ground immediately by doing so. I am shocked by Gideon's reaction to it as well, he told her to apologise but he practically condoned her behaviour.

I am so confused at this moment, on the one hand I can see what Denise was saying, I know I over protect Phoebe and like Ana did she is rebelling and kicking against me. I watched the way Gideon interacted with his daughters; they are so close and relaxed with each other. It was hysterical the way young Zoe admonished him about his competitiveness. The way all three of them look at Gideon as though he is the centre of their world, I want that with Phoebe. I also know that Gideon has worked hard to regain that sort of relationship with them as it was lost for a while after Eva died and it has only been in the past month or so that he has managed to regain it.

I am also a little reluctantly impressed by Denise, not many people would have taken me on like that, and told me so bluntly what they thought. Gideon has gone and I head out of my office after thinking about everything that happened. I pause as I pass the library, I hear Denise and Ana talking inside and god help me I listen.

"I love Uncle Christian and I just hope I haven't screwed up my relationship with him, he was so angry, I was only trying to help" I hear Denise say, she sounds upset. "I should have just kept my big mouth shut, it's just dad has always encouraged us to say what we think and be honest and open, mom was the same, and he doesn't really care about my language as he knows I learnt the words from him so it would be hypocritical to punish me for it" she stops and I hear a sob, I close my eyes. I resist going in to them and continue to listen.

I hear my wife's soft comforting voice, "Oh come here sweetheart, he'll get over it, he's just not used to people standing up to him quite so bluntly as you did, but after he gets over his initial response he will think about what you told him and I assure you, he won't hold it against you" she says. I can picture her hugging Denise.

I recall everything Denise said, and something else occurs to me, she was just twelve years old when her mother died, she was the eldest and had no female role model to look to in the house, she is surrounded by men, her father, Raul, Angus until he passed and the members of Raul's security team who are always close by. She has grown up with a completely male dominated influence and I'm sure the no nonsense straight to the point talk of the security team had to have rubbed off in her. Also when her mother was alive she always said it as it was, so it is no surprise Denise reacts and behaves like she does, I should have taken that into consideration before I yelled at her.

"But he was so angry" Denise insists.

"That is how he always initially reacts darling, he explodes first and thinks afterwards, trust me on this he will come around" Ana is desperately trying to convince Denise of what I know is the truth. I can't hold it against her, she was just trying to help, she saw with her own eyes the strained relationship I have with my daughter and she wants us to have what she now has with her father, and I can't fault her for that. So I decide to make my presence known.

I open the door and take in the sight, Denise is clinging to Ana and although Denise is much taller than Ana she is bent and has her head resting on Ana's shoulder, and Ana is gently stroking her back.

"Denise" I say quietly. Both women look up at me and Denise takes a step back and holds up her hands.

"Look I'm sorry ok, I should have kept my big mouth shut and not poked my nose in" she starts defensively.

I hold my hand up to stop her, "Denise, I have come to apologise to you" I say.

Her mouth drops open and she takes a quick look at Ana who smiles and nods at her.

"See" Ana says almost triumphantly.

I look at my wife, "would you give us a moment please baby" I say, Ana nods and as she passes me she presses a kiss to my lips, touches my arm and looks at me meaningfully, I know that look, she is telling me to make this right.

I walk towards my niece who immediately folds her arms defensively.

"Sit down Denise" I ask and we sit down on a sofa, much like we were in my study.

"I apologise for shouting at you and cursing at you, you shocked me with what you said and I reacted to it and that was wrong of me. I will say I don't appreciate being spoken to the way you did, but I accept that what you said was done with the best intentions. I also want you to know I won't hold this against you, you apologised for what you said, and I accept that there was truth in what you were trying to tell me, so can we draw a line in the sand so to speak and move forward?" I look at her carefully.

She nods at me, "Ok" she says.

I smile at her and hold open my arms, I am pleased to note that she doesn't hesitate and shuffles towards me and hugs me back. As she is in my arms I mention what I have been thinking since she said what she said and what my brother also said.

"You said you had spoken to Phoebe and she listened to you?" I ask carefully.

Denise looks at me and nods, "Yes, when we first arrived I went to Phoebe in her room and I asked what she had done now to be confined to her room again. She told me and I said how stupid she had been, she got angry with me and I told her what had happened to me and Jenny because of my stupidity going behind my dad's back, she said that you weren't as reasonable as dad and she wouldn't be able to talk things through with you like we did, and I asked if you two had ever just sat and talked without screaming at each other, and she said no, and I basically told her you weren't the only one who needed to compromise she needed to behave in away which inspired your trust too" she stops and puts her head down, "I'm sorry I shouldn't have got involved" she says.

I squeeze her gently, "No Denise what you said has been a wake up call for me, I saw the way you and your sisters are with Gideon, I want that with Phoebe" I pause and take a deep breath "and I want you and your father to help us" I say.

Her head whips up and she stares at me, "Me?" she asks incredulously.

I nod, "I want with Phoebe what you have with your dad" I say, "and I want you and your father to teach us how" I add.

Her face breaks into a beautiful smile. "Sure, but you can't go all control freak on me when you hear things you don't like" she says.

I smile at her assessment of me, "Alright, as long as you curb the more colourful language while you are in my house" I say.

She thinks about it and nods, holding her hand out to me she grins "You have a deal Uncle Christian, and I am sorry for the way I said what I said, I'm just so used to saying it as it is with my dad I thought it would be ok as we are family, I will try and be more tactful while I am here, but you should know that tact isn't really a strong point of mine" she says.

I shake her hand "Good, I'm glad we have that sorted" I say. I look at her carefully, "While we are here, your father told me he is arranging for you and him to have some joint sessions with John?" I ask.

She nods, "yeah, before we arrived, I had a bit of a meltdown with everything that happened, I feel so guilty Uncle Christian, I feel responsible for everything that has happened and its my fault Jenny is now struggling, and her dad's marriage has disintegrated, all because Jenny is my friend and because of me using her as my alibi to see Josh she got introduced to Mike Foster, she is in a bad way Uncle Christian it destroyed her to know her step mom was Mikes mom and when she basically blamed Jenny for what happened, if only I had just kept her out of it, and not introduced her to Mike she would still be the happy girl and her dad and step mom would still be together".

I cock my head to one side listening carefully to her; this girl is being eaten with guilt for what has happened to her friend, when in reality none of it is her fault.

"Your father is going to talk to you about what Raul had to say, so I don't want to interfere with that but you are not to blame for any of this" I say firmly.

Denise shakes her head, "I try and tell myself that but I know deep down it's not true" she says sadly.

"Come on lets go and find everyone else and do something fun" I say decisively standing up and pulling Denise up with me.

We spend the afternoon together and we all go to the pool for a while and then have a lazy afternoon chatting and just spending time in each others company, I continue to observe Gideon with his daughters and the relaxed loving relationship he has with them. I see Gideon watching Josh with Denise and I know he isn't totally on board with this relationship but to his credit he includes Josh and doesn't allow his true feelings to show.

Denise is clearly in love with this boy and as I watch them together I see glimpses of myself and Ana and how Gideon was with Eva. Denise may only be fifteen but this appears to be the real thing and not an immature infatuation. I watch Gideon sitting with Zoe on his lap reading a book with her and I recall doing the same thing with Phoebe when she was that age, I watch as Olivia sidles up and Gideon immediately includes her.

"Uncle Christian" I look up and Denise is looking at me.

"Yes" I answer.

"Could we go hiking at some point while we are here? Josh is keen to enjoy some of the spectacular countryside you have around here" she asks.

I nod, "No problem I'd enjoy that" I say.

"See" Denise says to Josh and I realise this was his request but he was unsure of asking. I walk over and sit beside Josh.

"So tell me young man what do you like to do?" I ask kindly.

I watch as he looks at me warily, I'm pretty convinced he heard my outburst earlier and is now a little afraid.

He shrugs, "All sorts really, I do like hiking and the outdoors we don't get to see much countryside living in New York, apart from Central Park but its not the same as out here, my dad takes us all to our house in The Hamptons but that is more beach than countryside and there are definitely no mountains or scenery like out here, the closest we have is if you head north of New York City to some of the State parks" he says.

I smile at him, "Well we'll be sure to make sure you see all there is to see while you are here, perhaps if you'd like to I could take you up in Charlie Tango III and we could go and see Mount Saint Helens, the no fly zone has been relaxed again so that is quite a spectacular sight" I say.

He looks at me in confusion, "Charlie Tango III?" he asks.

"My helicopter" I explain, "Charlie Tango was my original helicopter which I crashed and was replaced with Charlie Tango II, and she was decommissioned recently and replaced with the latest model – Charlie Tango III" I say.

Josh looks at me, "My dad told me about when you crashed your helicopter, some people sabotaged it or something, didn't they?" he asks.

"Yes" I say briefly as this is not a conversation I want to get into, I notice Denise has immediately become very interested.

"When did that happen?" she asks, and I know my desire to not talk about this period of my life is rapidly evaporating.

I sigh, "I think that it was before your mom and dad got married, as far as I recall it was either shortly before or not long after your mom discovered she was expecting you" I look at Gideon and he nods in clarification. I see Ana and she has gone very quiet. This time was hard on her and all these years later it still affects her.

"What happened Uncle Christian?" Liv asks, she has now moved forward and become totally engaged in this.

I look around and see everyone is hanging on my every word; Phoebe is even waiting for me to speak.

"Three men who all had grudges against me for various reasons joined forces so to speak to try and get me out of the way. They managed to gain access to Charlie Tango and sabotage her, enough that she fell out of the sky, whilst I was piloting her, Taylor was with me at the time" I say.

"I was in New York at the time dealing with an author with Gideon, because at that point I worked for your father at Cross Publishing, and we got word that the helicopter was missing at first, it was awful, I immediately flew back to Seattle and Gideon came with me and he also sent a team to help in the search and rescue. They found the crash site and rescued Christian and Jason" Ana says speaking up.

"It was a pretty rough time" I say quietly.

"You were lucky to survive" Josh says.

I nod, "We were both quite badly hurt, Taylor was unconscious and was in a coma for a few days, and I had spinal bruising which left me unable to walk for a while" I say.

"Jeez dad!" I look up at Phoebe and she is staring at me.

"What? It was a long time ago Phoebe, Taylor made a full recovery and as you can see I am totally fine now" I say.

I watch as Phoebe shakes her head and I notice that she has tears in her eyes, "but if there was a search party, there was a period of time where mom had no idea where you were and if you were alive or dead?" she says.

"Well, yes" I say.

"I can't imagine how horrible that is" she says.

"It was Phoebe, and I think I would like to change the subject now" Ana says firmly.

"Excuse me sir" I look around and see Taylor standing looking at me expectantly.

I immediately stand, "what is it?" I ask.

"If you and Mr Cross would like to come with me, Raul has made some further discoveries and we have more information" he says.

Gideon stands and I see Denise also step forward, "Dad?" she says touching his arm.

I see Gideon wrap his arm around her and whisper in her ear, I don't catch what he says but I do hear the words 'I promise you' at the end, Denise nods and returns to Josh who looks questioningly at her, while Gideon and I leave the room and head to Taylor's office.

"What have you found?" I ask as soon as we enter the room, and Raul stands looking grim.

"It all checks out, Hillary Ellis, biological sister of one Helen Ellis and get this, she was involved with Helen in some pretty dubious activity back in their home town, she didn't show up on the radar before, because she left when the step family came on the scene and made her own life away from her sisters orbit, but she has had contact with Helen Ellis periodically over the years and helped her recruit victims for the paedophile rings Helen was involved in, all troubled kids who latched on to the lifestyle looking for some kind of relationship and love, she has always been in education and through her career within the school system managed to pin point and groom likely candidates, likely candidates like... Donny Foster," he throws down some papers.

"He was troubled boy from a dysfunctional family violent abusive drunken father, drug addicted mother, pretty grim by all accounts and a perfect victim to be groomed and abused by Helen and her cronies. I have also uncovered evidence that Donny Foster has been visiting Helen in jail ever since she was convicted and jailed. Making the trip to Seattle at least twice a year, which tells me someone else was paying for the flights as on his income there would be no way he could afford to make the trips at all let alone as frequently as he does. My guess is Helen has recruited him to make Gideon's life hell, after all he smashed her paedophile rings here in New York and helped convict her with the evidence he gathered, so I would say it is revenge pure and simple, and Jenny was a bonus, he got his son close to Denise via Josh and Jenny and also got his own revenge for the fact Jenny's father ended up with his ex wife. That is the theory I am going with at this moment, and I am still working on finding our mole, I am pretty confident I will have that information for you within the next hour or so, there is also another thing which you may want to be aware of, Phoebe's boyfriend, you did a background check on this boy?" he asks.

I nod and Taylor looks at him carefully, "We did an extensive one, his name is Robbie McGuire the son of Senator McGuire" he says a touch defensively.

Raul smiles and places some more papers on the table in front of us, "yeah and Senator McGuire was a real good buddy with the Lincoln's back in the day… Mrs Lincoln in particular if you get my drift, when he was a young free and single man and into certain sexual lifestyles. I am not suggesting anything but I wouldn't put it past Helen Ellis, aka Elena Lincoln to try her hand at blackmailing a senator to get him to use his son to pursue Phoebe, can you imagine the scandal if it was leaked that the good senator practiced BDSM with a married woman now in jail, for various crimes and is a known paedophile, his political career would be over, but on the other hand she has nothing to lose already being incarcerated. My guess is the timing is deliberate she has obviously been watching and she has never got over what she saw as Mr Grey's betrayal of her and she has waited until Phoebe has reached the age Mr Grey was when she got her claws into him. She is deluded, dangerous and totally insane, and the problem is she has people under her influence who are willing to do her bidding".

We stand there in silence, "I don't believe this" I say, Gideon steps forward and reads the papers and he shakes his head, he looks at me.

"Christian I need to tell Denise about this and I really think you need to be honest with Phoebe and tell her too, this is bigger than you just being pissed about her having a boyfriend, she needs to be aware of the danger she is possibly in" he says.

I sigh and nod, "I realise that, but we don't have the best relationship how the hell am I supposed to explain this to her I don't want her to completely hate me?" I say.

Gideon stares at me, "Does she know anything about your past?" he asks.

I shake my head, "Nothing" I say.

He sighs, "Well bro, I think you need to bite the bullet and tell her, it would also explain to her your reasons for why you behave the way you do and why you are so protective of her, she will thank you for being honest with her, plus… and this is something Landon told me when I was pissed about Dennie finding out about me, she is reaching the age now where there are people out there who will be only too willing to tell her about your past, including the stuff which you really don't want her to know - about the lifestyle you led, its best she hears the truth from you rather than details from people with an axe to grind".

I stare at him, "I told Denise a little bit about my past this morning, and it was during that conversation which brought up the links with Elena with what is going on, shit, why is she doing this after all these years?!" I say.

I watch my brother shrug, "Revenge on you for what she saw as your betrayal plus my guess is she wants your attention, possibly she wants to see you again, so she is yanking your chain by threatening your daughter and niece's safety, as she knows that is the quickest way to get it. You'll have security dig and find out she is behind it and I bet she believes that will make you go to her, it's a twisted power game with her, she wants you to visit her and she thinks by doing this you will turn up at the prison telling her to back off and thus she will get to see you again which is what she wants, she still wants to control you Christian" Gideon says to me.

"Well I won't give her the satisfaction" I say firmly.

I watch Gideon grin, "But as for the other fuckers?" he asks.

"Oh we bring them down!" I say coldly.

Gideon leaves me and goes to find Denise, he takes her out into the garden and I watch them from the house as he tells her everything that Raul has found out. I see Denise put her hand to her mouth in shock and then wrap her arms around her father. I see him discussing everything with her and Denise nodding, and then they make their way back to the house, as soon as she sees me she runs to me.

"Uncle Christian, you have to tell Phoebe – these people are dangerous and if this woman has a senator in her pocket she is not only insane but powerfully dangerous and that is a bad combination".

I nod, "I realise this, I am just trying to figure out a way of doing it" I say.

Denise stares at me, "I'll help you and I'm sure dad will too, won't you dad?" she says as she turns to face Gideon.

"Help with what?" he asks as he steps closer.

"Help Uncle Christian tell Phoebe everything" she says.

I watch my brother nod in agreement "of course" he says.

I glance at my watch, "everyone will be arriving soon for dinner, we'll talk about this later" I say, I can't believe it is nearly 6pm.

A short while later and my parents arrive, I watch as Gideon's face lights up at the sight of my mother.

"Mom" he says as he strides over to her and hugs her tightly.

"Gideon darling, it's wonderful to see you again" my mom says as she holds him tightly and then pushes him away at arms length and checks him over.

"Grandma!" Zoe shrieks and throws herself at my mom who catches her laughing.

"Zoe how are you?" she says and then Denise and Olivia come running and fling their arms around my mom.

"Grandma let me introduce you to Josh" Denise says as she pulls my mom towards Josh who is standing in the doorway observing the situation.

"Josh this is Grace Trevelyan Grey she is Uncle Christian's mom but I call her grandma because when dad and Uncle Christian found out they were brothers Grandma kind of adopted dad too! Grandma this is Josh Landon, my boyfriend" she says.

Josh steps forward his hand outstretched and my mom smiles at him, "I am very pleased to meet you Mrs Trevelyan Grey" he says.

My mom doesn't hesitate as she pulls him into a hug, "and I am delighted to meet you too Josh" she says. Denise then drags Josh over to meet my dad, and I watch as he politely shakes my dad's hand. A few moments later and Elliot and Kate arrive, and Zoe almost explodes with delight.

"Uncle Elliot!" she squeals and throws herself at my brother with overwhelming exuberance.

"Hey there mighty mouse!" my brother says good naturedly as he sweeps her up into his arms. Zoe squeals and hugs him tightly. Ava and Lucas watch with interest at the events unfolding in front of them.

"Uncle Elliot!" Olivia and Denise both call in unison he turns and sees them and placing Zoe on the ground holds open his arms to them, "Hey! God you two have shot up!" he says staring at them.

Denise introduces Josh and my brother slaps him on back affectionately. Gideon appears and embracing him slaps Elliot on the shoulder and shakes his hand warmly.

"Hey bro!" Elliot says "Good to see you again!" he says, Ava and Lucas walk up to Gideon and hug him and Gideon immediately crouches to their level to greet them. Gideon rises and grins at Elliot again before he politely kisses Kate on the cheek as she greets him warmly. Finally Mia and Ethan arrive with the twins, she looks so tired which isn't difficult considering she is heavily pregnant and having to run around after twins. I see Zoe stare at Mia and then at the twins in shock. Mia is thrilled to see Gideon and the girls and she holds open her arms to them.

"I am so pleased to see you all, she points to the two boys in front of her, that is Aiden and that is Andrew she says introducing her identical boys, and I realise this is the first time Gideon and the girls have seen them since they were babies and they travelled to Seattle for their christening. Every time since then that Gideon has made the trip to Seattle Mia and Ethan have either been on vacation or had busy schedules and been unable to meet up.

"How's Ireland?" Mia asks Gideon and I watch as he smiles at the mention of his sister.

"She is good, and she sends her love to you all" he says, "as does Christopher" he adds almost as an afterthought.

Dinner goes well, but then again it always does, my mother brings out the best of everyone and it never fails to get to me how much Gideon adores her and looks upon her as his mother. As everyone leaves I know I have to destroy the happy atmosphere in the house, I glance at Gideon and he knows, he nods at me and whispers something in Denise's ear she looks straight at me and smiles reassuringly and then looks around for Phoebe.

Josh has gone to call his father, Zoe has gone to bed exhausted and Olivia is with Ana reading. This is the perfect time, if there is a perfect time to do this. I watch as Denise grasps Phoebe's hand and speaks to her, Phoebe looks at me and nods and we all head to my study.

I am feeling terrified about this. I have no idea what to say and how to say it. I look at Gideon helplessly "How the fuck do I do this?" I ask quietly.

"Just talk and tell her the truth, tell her about your past first and then how that has impacted on what is going on now, I'm here to support you and Denise will help you" he says reassuringly.

Phoebe is looking at me a worried and slightly defensive look on her face. I pace the room and run my hands through my hair I don't know how to do this.

Denise senses my confusion and unease and jumps in. "Pheebs, your dad has something he needs to talk to you about, it will answer a lot of question for you as to why he is so over protective of you" she says, then she looks at me and smiles at me, "Just tell her, you have nothing to be ashamed of" she says.

I sit down beside my daughter and take a deep breath, "This is really hard for me Phoebe, I never wanted you to know this but things have happened recently and I see now that keeping you in the dark could potentially put you in danger, real danger" I stop at her sceptical look, "Yes I know I have over reacted all your life about danger and threats and keeping you safe but we have found out some things today which are deeply troubling and they are linked with things that have happened in the past to me" I stop and take a look at Gideon who nods at me willing me to go on.

"Ok" Phoebe says, and then she looks at Gideon and Denise. "Why are Uncle Gideon and Denise here?" she asks.

"Because this threat also concerns them and it was Raul who has discovered the issues and also because I am not sure how to go about this and so they have agreed to help me" I say.

Phoebe nods in understanding, "Ok" she says again.

I clasp my hands together and look down. "As you know I was adopted by your grandmother and grandfather, but I was four years old when that happened. Before that I lived with my birth mom in Detroit, my dad was Joel Cross who was also Gideon's biological father, and he abandoned my mother when she discovered she was expecting me. My mother was disowned by her family apart from her sister Denise – you know, my Aunt Denise who runs Ella's Lodge in Detroit for Gideon and I" I clarify and then pause and Phoebe nods, she is listening carefully and I continue.

"Well my mother refused to give me up and tried to raise me alone, she was doing a reasonably good job, until she met a man who got her into drugs and her life spiralled out of control. She became addicted to crack cocaine and she prostituted herself for money to pay for the drugs and to give to this man who was her pimp. He physically abused my mother and he also physically abused me, he hit me, kicked me across rooms and he stubbed his cigarettes out on me. I still have the scars on my chest and back to this day as a reminder of what he did to me. I was four years old when my mother died of an overdose and I was taken to the hospital which is where I met your grandmother – she was the doctor who treated my injuries and as I say she and my father adopted me. Those experiences left me with deep rooted psychological scars, for years I was unable to tolerate anyone touching me; it physically hurt me if they did, because the fear was so great. When I became a teenager I became an angry young man, I couldn't tolerate touch so I got in terrible fights just to feel some kind of physical contact with other people, I got expelled from several schools and your grandparents were at their wits end with me, and a friend of theirs suggested I went to do some yard work at her house over the summer vacation from school. This woman... she..." I stop Denise comes to me and holds my hand she looks at Phoebe.

"That woman sexually abused your dad Phoebe, and he was only fifteen years old" Denise says.

Phoebe gasps and holds her hand up to her mouth, "Oh god dad!" she says tears in her eyes.

I grip Denise's hand and continue to speak, "For years I thought this woman helped me, I looked upon her as a friend and kind of saviour, she taught me ways of how I could interact with women without fear of having them touch me, it wasn't until I met your mother that I realised what we did was wrong and she had in fact taken advantage of me and used my issues against me for her own sick gratification. This woman was the woman who tried to kidnap your mother before you were born, your mom was pregnant with our first child at the time, and due to the stress of what happened to her she miscarried a while afterwards and we always maintained that it was as a result of the kidnap. The woman was jailed for her part in the kidnap and is still in prison now, but she has people who she has had relationships with who are working for her and who she is manipulating to cause trouble for us. Denise told you about what happened to her and her friend Jenny?" I look at Phoebe and she nods.

"The boy who did those things, well, his father was another victim of this woman and what he suffered at the hands of this woman he has done to his own children, and the cycle is continuing, but the main thing is she was manipulating him to get revenge on Gideon through Denise for his part in her being sent to jail which is why Denise is having issues with this man's family. We have also reason to believe she is blackmailing Senator McGuire now as we have discovered that she has history with him too, and you are seeing his son, so we can't rule out the possibility that her manipulation of his father could include her getting him to get his son close to you, but we don't know that for sure although it is a possibility" I stop and stare at her.

"So this woman is a paedophile?" Phoebe asks.

I nod, "She is, yes" I say.

"And she has a hold over these people and getting them to do her bidding because she is in prison and can't do it herself" she says.

I nod, "Yes" I say.

"And the reason she is doing it is because she wants revenge on you and Uncle Gideon because you helped send her to jail?" she says.

I nod again, "pretty much, although there are more complicated reasons involved as well but generally speaking, yes that is the main part" I say.

Phoebe stares at me, and then suddenly she launches herself forward and wraps her arms around me. "Oh Daddy!" she says sobbing into my neck.

I put my arms around her and hold her it's been years since we have embraced like this, I glance up at Denise and she gives me two thumbs up, and I can't help but smile.

"Hey come on" I say gently and ease Phoebe away from me I grip her shoulders and look at her carefully. "Are you ok? This is the reason why I am so protective of you, I have deep seated issues and fears from the things which happened to me in the past" I say.

Phoebe nods, "Why didn't you tell me all this sooner, I would have understood, it all makes sense now" she says.

I sigh and shake my head, "I was trying to protect you Phoebe I didn't want my past in your head" I say sadly.

Phoebe rolls her eyes at me, "Yes dad, but by trying to protect me you have kind of put me in danger because I didn't realise what the threats were if I had known about Senator McGuire and that woman I wouldn't have given his son the time of day!" she says.

I shake my head, "I have only just found out that information today myself so I couldn't have told you any sooner, but I do accept what you are saying. I could have been more forthcoming about certain aspects and it would have given you a greater understanding as to why I behave like I do".

Denise and Gideon are watching and Denise steps forward. "See, I told you all you have to do is just talk to each other!" she says with a satisfied grin.

She looks at Phoebe, "Just build on this now" she adds.

She looks at Gideon and then at me, "I have a phone call to make, I need to try and get hold of Jenny and put her in the picture about all this, I have tried to talk to her a few times but she hasn't been picking up, and I am getting worried about her" Denise says.

I stand and hug Denise tightly, "Thank you" I whisper in her ear.

She reaches up and presses a kiss to my cheek, "You are welcome" she replies. I watch she and Gideon leave my study leaving Phoebe and I alone to talk.

**(DENISE)**

"I don't think that could have gone much better" I say looking up at my dad.

He nods, but he is very quiet I look carefully at him.

"Are you ok dad?" I ask.

He smiles at me, "Yes I am" he says. "I'm going to go and spend some time with Liv before she goes to bed" he says, I nod and watch him head off in search of my sister.

I go to my room and fish out my phone and scrolling through my contacts I find Jenny and place the call. It rings out for a few moments and just as I am expecting it flip over to voice mail she picks up the call, I am so surprised I nearly drop the phone.

"Hello" she says, I can hear the sadness in her voice.

"Jenny, how are you?" I ask.

There is a silence before she answers, "hanging in there" she replies.

I feel terrible about what I am about to tell her but I know I have to do it. "Jenny I have some things to tell you about the stuff that has happened and it's really not pleasant, Raul has been doing some digging on Mike's family and uncovered some stuff about them" I say.

"Oh what?" she asks.

I take a deep breath and tell her everything my dad told me the silence spreads out over the line when I have finished, "Say something" I say eventually.

She laughs humourlessly, "So I was the icing on the cake for them, the plan was to get at your dad through you and because my dad ended up with his wife I was just a bonus!" she says bitterly.

"I wouldn't put it quite like that, but pretty much" I say, I am feeling uncomfortable and worried about Jenny's state of mind.

"It just gets better and better doesn't it!" she says.

"Listen Jenny, you need to talk about this with someone, until you find someone you feel comfortable with I am here for you know that don't you?" I say.

"I do Dennie and thank you" she says. "How's your vacation?" she asks changing the subject.

"It's pretty good so far, everyone came for dinner tonight, I saw Uncle Elliot and Aunty Mia they were all here with their families and grandma came, it was nice" I say.

"How's Phoebe?" Jenny asks. She has previously met Phoebe when Uncle Christian and Aunty Ana came to New York and I always got the impression she didn't really like my cousin that much.

"Phoebe is still Phoebe!" I say trying to add a little levity.

"Still a complete spoilt brat then!" Jenny says nastily.

I am quite taken aback by that, I didn't realise that was what she thought of her. "Hey she has her moments but that is my cousin you are talking about, so you keep it polite please" I say.

She snorts, "If I can't say anything nice I won't say anything at all" she says.

"Jenny please?" I say, this isn't like her I am seriously worried.

I hear her sigh, "I'm sorry Dennie" she says eventually.

"Ok" I say, there is another silence, before she speaks again.

"Look I have to go, it's late here and I am tired" she says, I glance at my watch and realise how late it is and New York it is later due to the time difference.

"Ok, goodnight Jenny" I say.

"Goodnight Dennie" she replies and then she is gone and I am left with an awful sense of foreboding.


	10. Chapter 10

CHAPTER 10

The vacation flies past, I am sad when I realise our time in Seattle is coming to an end. Three weeks have passed so quickly, my father and I have had a few sessions with John and it does make me feel better, but I still have this niggle in my head that tells me I am to blame for everything.

Uncle Christian made good on his promise to show Josh all there is to see around here and while my dad and I were in the city having our therapy sessions Uncle Christian took him up in Charlie Tango III and gave him an aerial tour of the entire area. Josh had been left speechless at the flight over the city of Seattle at dusk something which Uncle Christian had done for us before. We have all been to see Mount Saint Helens which was also an awesome experience and I know Josh really enjoyed that, he kept thanking my uncle profusely for the experience and I heard him telling his father enthusiastically all about it when he called him and he showed me the photos he took on his phone of the entire experience. As well as the flights in Charlie Tango III we have also gone hiking, and visited every possible thing there is to see in Seattle and Northwest, most of which I have done before on my previous visits to Seattle but always fun to do again.

The final weekend of our vacation Josh and I are sitting together outside on the beach and everyone is around playing a game of beach baseball and I look at Josh.

"Have you enjoyed yourself?" I ask him.

He nods, "I have, and it's been amazing. I've never been to this part of the country before and I think I have seen everything in the last three weeks, plus your uncle is a wonderful man, he is so generous and kind, and your Aunt is lovely" he says.

I grin, "I told you so".

Josh laughs, "I didn't think that on the first day when I heard him yelling at you".

I smile, "yeah well, I was a little out of line. I thought I knew best… I mean I did, but the way I went about it wasn't so good" I say.

Josh grins at me again, "he was so angry with you" he says.

"Yeah he was, but he got over it" I say.

I am distracted by a text coming through on my phone. I check it and am surprised to see it is from Jenny, I haven't heard from her since we spoke after that first evening.

The text is short and to the point, it says – _**call me**_.

I do just that and wait, Jenny eventually picks up, "Jenny what is it?" I ask.

"Oh hello Denise" she says, this immediately gets my guard up Jenny never calls me Denise.

I sit up and Josh is watching me carefully, "Jenny talk to me" I say. I am sitting bolt upright and Josh is now also on alert at my tone of voice.

"I'm pregnant, that bastard made me pregnant" she says, but the way she is talking is oddly detached and far too calm considering what she is telling me.

"Jesus Christ!" I gasp. "Oh god, Jenny!" I say, I have no idea what to say to her. "What are you going to do?" I ask after a moment.

"I'm getting rid of it what do you expect me to do? I'm fifteen years old, don't want a baby, and to have a child conceived in this manner, I couldn't love it. I would look at it all the while and it would remind me of what that animal did to me" she says.

There is calmness in her tone, she has made the decision and I honestly can't find a single reason to argue with that. "I can't go through with a pregnancy and everything that entails and then give birth, I just can't do it, and I know this baby isn't to blame for any of this but I can't do it Denise I just can't".

"Ok, listen we will be back in New York in a couple of days, call me day or night if you need me I'm here for you Jenny, and when I get home I'll call you" I say.

"Thank you" she replies, I am concerned about the odd tone to her voice, but I put it out of my mind.

"Do you want to talk now?" I ask.

"No, I am good, I've made my decision I know what I have to do" she says. "I'll let you get back to what you are doing, you are a good friend Denise, and I have appreciated your friendship, I just want you to know that, and I don't blame you for any of this. Do you understand that?" she says.

"Jenny you are scaring me" I say.

"Don't worry about me, everything will be fine, it will all work out for the best" she says.

"Alright, remember what I said and you know where I am if you need me" I say.

"Thank you for everything Denise" she says and the line goes dead.

I stare at Josh, "What's wrong?" he asks, "You look terrible" he adds.

I shake my head, "Jenny is pregnant" I say, Josh stares at me.

"Shit" he says.

I stand up, "I need to talk to my dad, something isn't right" I say, Josh nods and watches me carefully as I scan the beach looking for my dad. I see him and run towards him.

"Dad!" I call. He is playing a game of beach baseball with everyone and he looks at me and frowns; he hands his bat to Liv and walks towards me.

"What is it?" he asks looking at me with concern.

"Jenny just called me, but I'm scared dad, she didn't sound right, which is hardly surprising considering what she told me but something is terribly wrong I can sense it" I say.

"What did she say?" my dad asks pulling me away from everyone.

"She's pregnant dad, Mike made her pregnant" I say and a tear escapes my eye.

My dad curses and hugs me, "come on Denise, it's ok" he says.

I push away from him, "no it's not dad, because you didn't hear her. Her voice it was all wrong, I'm scared, scared she is going to do something stupid" I say.

"Calm down Denise, I'll call her dad later and talk to him and see what we can do to help them out, she is still seeing the therapists at Ella's Lodge in New York and they will be able to tell her what her options are".

"She has already decided, she said she is going to terminate the pregnancy" I say.

My dad nods, "well under the circumstances" he says.

"It was just her tone of voice dad, she sounded so detached and distant, it just wasn't right" I insist.

"She is probably in shock Denise, I mean look at what that poor girl has gone through, now to have this thrown at her" he says.

I nod, "yeah you're probably right" I say but I'm not totally convinced.

My dad presses a kiss to my forehead, "I know I am" he says confidently.

"Thanks dad" I say hugging him tightly, "I'll let you get back to the game" I say, but I am still more than a little bit worried about Jenny.

"Aren't you and Josh coming to join in?" he asks, I smile and suddenly I realise I want to do just that, I shout to Josh and he comes running over, I tell him I am going to join the game and he grins at me, and comes with me.

I think about Jenny for the rest of the morning, on and off, I feel guilty about enjoying myself when she is going through this alone in New York, and then I realise she isn't alone, she has her dad too and she knows I am only at the end of the phone if she wants to talk to me. There is nothing more I can do until we return to New York and until then I can only be there for her if she reaches out to me.

By late afternoon, I haven't heard anything more from Jenny, I know I should wait for her to call me but I feel the need to call her again just to check on her but I call it goes straight to her voicemail, I leave a message "Hi Jenny just checking in with you seeing how you are, call me if you need me" I say. I hang up and busy myself gathering up all my stuff which is scattered around my room. I have decided to start to pack now, so I'm not scrambling at the last minute. We are leaving tomorrow at some point to head home to New York. I am feeling pleased with myself for being so organised when I hear a knock at the door.

"Come in" I call as I zip up my bag.

I look around and see my father enter the room he looks serious. "What's up?" I ask immediately on alert.

"Sit down Denise" he says I do as he says and stare at him waiting for him to speak. "I just called Jenny's father, and he had no idea about the pregnancy, Jenny hadn't said a word to him. I told him she had called you this morning and told you and I told him we would help them through whatever decision Jenny decided to make. He said he was at work when I called and he said he was going home shortly and would talk to Jenny when he got back". My dad stops speaking as I shake my head.

"What?" he asks.

"It didn't take him long to return to form!" I say coldly. My father stares at me in confusion.

"I don't understand?" he asks.

"Jenny's dad at work, its a fucking late Saturday afternoon here which means it is early evening in New York. He was like this before, either at work or focussed on his wife, Jenny always felt as though she was passed over and irrelevant to him" I say. "He seemed to change after the attack but it appears he has lost interest again and gone back to his old ways" I add.

My father shakes his head, "I had no idea" he says.

"That's probably why she sounded so off this morning, I am here in Seattle and her dad has returned to not giving a damn, so she feels alone" I say.

After what my father told me I try a few more times to call her with no success and she doesn't get back to me despite my best efforts to contact her and so reluctantly I decide to put her problems out of my mind I will be there for her soon enough when we return to New York, she doesn't want to speak to me so I'm not going to push her.

I look at my watch it is nearly midnight which means it is later in New York and she is probably asleep now, if her dad had kept his word and gone home they had probably talked until late anyway. I head to bed and fall into restless sleep.

The next morning I awaken to the sun streaming in through my window, I get up and look out. The view from window is breathtaking; it's the same one as from downstairs over the sound and looking towards Bainbridge Island. I stare out over the water; I am feeling sad as we are heading home today. I glance around the room that has been home for the past three weeks and check I have everything packed, I know its no big deal if I leave anything as Uncle Christian and Aunty Ana will make sure we get it but I don't want to have to put them in that position. I can hear a phone ringing, it sounds like my dad's phone and I smile knowing he is somewhere nearby. I head out of my room and walk into Josh, who is carrying all his stuff.

He kisses my cheek, "Good morning" he says smiling at me.

"And a good morning to you too!" I reply, "All packed?" I ask staring at his bag.

He nods, "I am… you know, I am quite sad to be going. I have had the best time here with you and your family" he says.

"It's been brilliant having you here" I say as I wrap my arms around his waist and nuzzle my face into his neck, he drops his bag and pulls me close and presses his lips to mine.

"Jeez Dennie get a room!" I look around and grin at Liv who has appeared in the hallway with her bags.

"Fuck off Liv" I say good naturedly. I look up at Josh, "I'm going to find Zoe and see if she needs help with her packing" I say and Josh nods at me as he reluctantly releases me.

"I'll come with you" he says.

We head towards the small guest room which Zoe always occupies and open the door, I see Gail inside helping Zoe pack.

"Oh good morning Gail, I'll help Zoe, you don't need to do this" I say.

Gail smiles at me, "No problem I don't mind, your father was helping her until he got a phone call, I'm not sure where he went but it seemed important so I just stepped in" she says.

"Gail can we have pancakes for breakfast?" Zoe asks looking up at Gail.

Gail laughs, "You certainly can Zoe, as soon as we get this stuff together I will go downstairs and make some for you" she says. Gail turns to me, "I have made some lasagne for you and your father to take home and put in your freezer I know how you like it" she says.

I hug Gail tightly "Thank you Gail You are a legend!" I say.

Between us we quickly get Zoe packed and Josh scans the room to make sure nothing has been left, and then we all head downstairs to the kitchen for breakfast. As we enter I see Aunty Ana sitting at the table drinking some tea with a bowl of Granola in front of her. At her side is Phoebe drinking orange juice with a plate of toast in front of her, then Liv appears with a frying pan, and I know she was going to make some pancakes.

Gail walks up to her and takes the pan from her, "I'll do that for you Olivia" she says. Liv smiles at Gail and thanks her.

"I was going to make them, I don't want to be a pain" she says but Gail shakes her head.

"Not at all" she says, then she looks around, "Zoe has requested some pancakes too so its no bother" she adds, then she looks at Josh and I "What can I get you two for breakfast?"

"Pancakes would be wonderful, thank you Gail" Josh says politely and I nod in agreement.

"I'd love some pancakes too please Gail" I say. I pour myself some juice and sit down at the table.

"Good morning Aunty Ana, Phoebe" I say as I sit down they both look at me smile brightly.

"Are you all packed?" Phoebe asks and I nod.

"I think so" I reply. It occurs to me Uncle Christian and my father are both missing. As I think this the door opens and Uncle Christian appears, his hair is still damp from the shower and he smiles at us all.

"Good morning everyone" he says, and we all respond as he heads for some coffee.

"Good morning Mr Grey what would you like for breakfast?" Gail asks as she is busy making the pancakes. My uncle looks over her shoulder at the pancakes cooking in the pan.

"Those look good, I'll have some of those this morning I think please Gail" he replies.

"Very good sir" Gail replies and I watch my uncle take a seat next to my aunt. He wraps his arm around her shoulder pulling her towards him and kisses her forehead. A small but sweet gesture which shows how much they love each other. I have seen the way they look at each other and how he has difficulty keeping his hands off my aunt, he always likes to be touching her, either holding her hand or have his arm around her, and it reminds me of how my dad was with my mom.

I look at Josh, I know I love him and he has told me he loves me, I wonder if we will have what my aunt and uncle have and what my mom and dad had. We are all nearly finished by the time my dad finally makes an appearance, he walks in and I am immediately on alert. He is deathly pale; there is no colour in his cheeks at all. He makes a beeline for the coffee and silently pours himself a mug full. I'm not the only one to have noticed that something is really wrong, Liv stares at him and my uncle and aunt can't stop looking at him with concern on their faces.

"Good morning Gideon what can I get you for breakfast?" Gail says with a smile as she appears once more.

My father gives her a strained smile, "I'm not really that hungry this morning Gail, I'll just have a little toast if that is ok with you" he says.

Gail nods and looks closely at him, she too has picked on the fact something is wrong.

"Dad are you ok?" Liv asks him before I can open my mouth.

My dad takes a shot look at me and then gives her the same strained smile, "I'm fine Liv" he says shortly.

I know this is bullshit and I have to stop myself from saying so, I have done my best to curb my language when my uncle is around, keeping my promise to him to keep my more colourful comments to myself. I look at Josh and he raises his eyebrows, even he knows something has happened.

"What time are we leaving?" I ask looking at my dad while sticking to a neutral topic.

"After lunch" he replies, but doesn't elaborate. Whatever it is that is bothering him is doing a good job of eating at him. I stand and take my mug and plate away, when I return the atmosphere is thick and heavy. Liv, Zoe and Phoebe have gone, and Josh is looking at me willing me to say something. I look at my dad.

"Dad, what's going on?" I ask quietly.

My father looks up at me, "I think you had better come and sit down Denise" he says. The tone of his voice is scaring me now; I take my seat next to Josh and reach for him. Josh grips my hand tightly; he can tell this isn't going to be good.

I have told Josh about the threats against our families saying they are linked via a person who wants revenge on my father and uncle but I haven't gone into detail as to the reasons why or who it is. This is the only thing I can think of which would upset my father this much, something else has obviously come to light and more information has been discovered.

"Talk to me dad" I press him, I am surprised when he stands and walks around the table and crouches in front of me and gently pulls my hand from Josh's. He rubs my knuckles with his thumbs.

"Dad you're scaring me now" I say.

"Denise there is no easy way to tell you this" he says and then he stops.

"Dad just say it, whatever it is we can sort it, just tell me" I say using his words back at him.

He shakes his head sadly, "No Denise we can't make this better" he says, I swallow hard, Josh realises something big has happened and he shuffles closer and wraps his arm around me.

"Do you want to tell Denise alone Mr Cross, I can go if this is private stuff?" he asks.

My dad shakes his head, "No thank you Josh, it is good you are here to hear this as well, we can help each other that way" he says, he pauses for a moment, "Jenny's father called me this morning he got home last night, and went to talk to Jenny about the pregnancy and he found her in the bath" he pauses and I wonder why that is significant.

He looks at me closely, and takes a deep breath, I watch as he licks his lips a sure sign he is nervous about what he about to tell me. "She had evidently tried to terminate the pregnancy herself and it appears she succeeded but in the process she had haemorrhaged, I'm so sorry Denise" he stops again as I gasp in shock.

"No, she's ok though? Tell me she's ok, she's going to be alright?" I ask shaking my head pleading with my father to tell me something which I know in my heart isn't going to happen.

My dad shakes his head, "I'm sorry Denise she didn't make it, by the time her father got to her she was already gone" he says.

Josh gasps and grips me tightly; but I shrug him off and yank my hands from my fathers grip, "NO!" I yell, I leap to my feet and stare wildly around.

"NO, NO, NO" I scream, the tears are streaming down my cheeks. "NO SHE'S NOT DEAD, NOT JENNY" I wail.

My father steps towards me and tries to hold me and I push him away. "No don't fucking touch me, I told you something wasn't right!" I say.

With that I turn and run out of the house. My mind is reeling from everything I have just learnt and the pain and guilt I am feeling at this moment is just overwhelming me… I need to get away, I turn and run as I hear my dad and Josh shouting after me.

**(GIDEON)**

It feels like a knife cutting through me as my daughter pushes me away, "Don't fucking touch me, I told you something wasn't right!" she screams as I try to comfort her. I try and tell myself she is in shock and just reacting to the news by lashing out and that she doesn't mean it, but the venomous tone of her voice shredded me.

"DENISE" I call as she wrenches the door open and runs down the yard.

"DENNIE WAIT" Josh shouts, he had leapt to his feet when she ran.

She has run from me and I am left standing there, Josh looks at me equally shocked at her outburst, he looks shattered too and I remember he was Jenny's friend as well. I look at my brother who is now also on his feet and looking at me with concern. Ana has tears in her eyes and shock on her face.

"She didn't mean it Mr Cross" Josh says, I just nod at him. "I'll go and look for her" he adds.

"I'll come with you" Ana says firmly and stands, rounding the table.

I reach for Josh's arm; "Thank you Josh" I say quietly, he nods at me and goes out of the door my daughter has just crashed through. I watch him head off in the direction I saw her go. Ana walks past me and follows Josh out; she rubs my arm reassuringly as she passes me.

"We'll find her she can't get far" she says. I nod and look at my brother helplessly.

Christian walks towards me and places his hand on my shoulder, "I'll go and search for her as well" he says. I nod at him; I'm crushed at her reaction. I know she is hurting but the way she rejected me, it was so unexpected and it hurt. I quickly pull myself together, this isn't about me, my daughter has found out her best friend has just essentially killed herself and she is struggling with this information.

Denise's parting words ring in my head, '_I told you something wasn't right!' _and I think back to our conversation yesterday when Denise had spoken to Jenny and afterwards was adamant that something was wrong and I had dismissed her. I scrub at my face and realise I need to find Denise and I too head outside; following in the direction which everyone else has just gone.

I see Josh, Christian and Ana searching, Christian goes into the boathouse and Ana heads towards the garden. Josh is going towards the tennis court but in my gut I know where she will be... the beach. I know my girl well, they all think Denise wants to hide, but I know her and I am certain that she just wants to be somewhere familiar and somewhere comforting. I head down to the beach and I spot her sitting at the waters edge her knees drawn up and her head buried in her arms resting on them, she is shaking violently and I know she is crying. I walk up to her quietly and just sit down beside her and wrap my arm around her; I am relieved when she doesn't push me away. She is sobbing and the noise breaks my heart. I don't say a word I just pull her close and hold her.

I place my hand on her head and stroke her hair. She moves suddenly and turning she wraps her arms around me and continues to cry. I hear voices and look up I see Christian and Josh approaching and I shake my head at them. Christian touches Josh's arm and pulls him away and they quietly leave us to it.

Eventually I hear Denise speak; her head is still buried in my chest as I hear her muffled words.

"I'm sorry I shouted at you" she says quietly.

"No need to apologise sweetheart" I say gently. I watch as she lifts her head and looks up at me.

"Oh Daddy!" she gasps and the tears start to fall again and I pull her towards me just rocking her gently.

"Hush" I say as I try and offer her what comfort I can.

Eventually when she is all cried out I gently push her from me and look at her carefully.

"Do you want to go for a little walk?" I ask.

She nods and sniffs loudly, I stand up and hold my hand out to her she grips it and rises to her feet and then wrapping her hand around my forearm we walk in silence along the beach.

"I should have paid more attention, all the signs were there" Denise says suddenly.

I wrap my arm around her, "Don't" I say quietly.

Denise stops and stares at me "Don't what?" she asks.

"Don't blame yourself, Jenny was clearly in a very dark place and not thinking clearly, you are not to blame for what happened Denise" I say firmly.

She shakes her head at me and stares at me incredulously, "Dad, how can I not blame myself, I introduced her to that fucking animal, so if it wasn't for me she would never have met him. I should have paid more attention all the signs were there, the way she said she wished was dead, she said that numerous times to me and I brushed it off. I told her I would be there for her and I wasn't, I wasn't there dad, she was alone in New York and she was hurting and I wasn't there" she starts to cry again and I pull her to me.

"Stop!" I say a little harshly. "Denise you have to listen to me, stop beating yourself up over this, we talked this through with John, there was always a chance Mike would meet Jenny, his mother was her step mom for gods sake, and that was the reason she was targeted, it had nothing to do with the other situation with Sybil Hanson or your friendship with her. Mike is a dangerous and disturbed young man due to what he has endured during his life with his father, that is the reason he behaved like he did, and that has nothing to do with you, you are not to blame for the way he was raised" I pause and Denise stares at me and nods slowly.

"Ok, now going back to Jenny, you repeatedly tried reaching out to Jenny yes or no?" I ask.

Denise nods at me "yes" she whispers.

I nod, "You were there for her, you were a good friend and you tried to help her, if she refused to take your calls and accept it every time you reached out to her is that your fault?" I ask.

I watch her hesitate and then she shakes her head, "but" she begins.

I shake my head firmly, "No Denise, we tried to be there for her, we put her in touch with the therapists at Ella's Lodge, we went to the police to make a statement against Mike, you stood up to Mike in that damned burger bar, putting yourself in danger. You continually reached out to her and you tried to be a good friend to her, the truth is this whole thing fucked Jenny up and it fucked her up badly. She met a boy, she was controlled and suffocated by him and then she was repeatedly raped by him, she lost her virginity in an act of violation and violence. Her step mother – someone who is supposed to be there for her, turns against her and she discovers is linked to her rapist, then her father starts pulling away and going back to his routine and as this happens she then discovers she is pregnant with her rapists child, that is a hell of a lot for anyone to endure let alone a fifteen year old girl. You tried to be there for her and support her you kept the line of communication open and you reached out to her numerous times which she ignored, because she was hurting and confused. I won't have you beating yourself up about this Denise, you are not to blame" I say.

"I can't believe she is gone" Denise says quietly.

"I know, it is possible she never intended for it to go that far, she was confused and hurting and she wasn't thinking clearly, she obviously felt abandoned by her father and its possible she felt uncomfortable discussing the fact she was pregnant with him, we don't know what she was thinking and what made her do what she did, but it was clear she was determined to terminate the pregnancy, that much is obvious but whether or not she intended on killing herself as well... well that we will never know, only Jenny knows what her intentions were" I say.

I watch as Denise thinks for a moment, "She said a few times she wished she was dead, and yesterday when we spoke… it was almost like she was saying goodbye to me and I didn't do anything" she says.

"No, you did all you could, you talked to her you told her we would help her. You came to me and told me you were concerned about her, you reached out to her numerous times during the day, there was nothing more you could have done" I say, I am desperate for her to believe this and stop blaming herself.

We walk along the beach for a while longer and then we make our way back to the house, Denise looks sheepishly at my brother and at Josh as we enter the house.

"I am sorry for my outburst and my language Uncle Christian" she says quietly, Christian smiles at her, and touches her shoulder.

"Denise you have no need to apologise" he says. Josh steps closer and holds his arms out to her she leaves my side and walks into him and he whispers something in her ear. I watch as they hold on tightly to each other, offering each other mutual comfort and reassurance.

Christian and I slip quietly from the room and leave them to it. Christian can see this whole episode has unsettled me. He puts his hand on my shoulder and leads me to his study.

"Come on bro you look like you could do with a stiff drink" he says.

As we sit in his study he hands me a glass of whiskey and I accept it gratefully, "A little early don't you think?" I ask looking at my watch.

Christian glances at his and shrugs "it's nearly 11am, it's not that early" he says with a grin, I can't help but smile. "That's more like it!" he says and raises his glass.

He sits down beside me, "She'll be ok you know, Denise is a tough cookie" he says.

I shake my head, "I'm not so sure Christian, the way she reacted today, I've never seen anything like that before and it shocked me if I am honest" I say, I frown as I think back at her meltdown. "she is still drowning in guilt, she won't accept she did all she could for Jenny and no matter what we say and John has worked with her at length during our sessions she still has this notion in her head that it is her fault that this whole thing happened" I say.

Christian looks at me, "Well what can you do other than reassure her?" he asks.

I shake my head, "I have no idea but I won't lie I'm worried about her state of mind at the moment" I say.

I see Christian thinking, "Why don't you stay here a while longer?" he asks.

I stare at him and shake my head, "Thanks for the offer bro but I need to get back to New York and I know Liv and Zoe are keen to get back" I say.

"Why not leave Denise here?" he suggests.

I think for a moment and then dismiss the idea, "I can't see her going for that idea, but thanks for the offer" I say.

He shrugs, "just a thought" he says.

After a moment's silence I speak "You know when she pushed me away and shouted and cursed at me not to touch her and the way she ran out… that hurt, I know this isn't about me and she didn't mean it and I shouldn't be focussing on that, but that really hurt, you know" I say.

Christian nods, "Of course it did, you two are tight I am envious of the relationship you have with all your girls but what you have with Denise – it's special, I know since Denise helped with my relationship with Phoebe things have been better between us but we have a long way to go before we get anywhere near what you have, but you just have to remember that she didn't mean it you just have to hang on to that fact, she is hurting and didn't mean it" he says.

I scrub my face with my hand and try and put it out of my mind "I know, and I have to stop making this about me, Denise needs me to support her not get all pissy and hung up because she had a meltdown" I say.

"Josh was worried about her" Christian says quietly.

I look at him, "He appears to care a great deal about her" I say tightly.

I see my brother smile, "and that drives you crazy doesn't it?" he says.

I think for a moment and then nod, "I know it shouldn't, I know she is growing up but the thought some other man is going to come into her life. I mean she is only fifteen for gods sake, but that thought is there already" I say.

"If its any consolation though he seems a good kid, when I spent time with him and talked with him, he seems bright and he has ambition, and he seems sensible plus he respects you and doesn't want to do anything to piss you off which is always a good thing, and the way he spoke when he talked of Denise… he really does love her" he says.

"I have to agree with you, I will admit when I first found out who he was I was prejudiced against him my immediate concern was that Landon was trying to get to me through my daughter, but he really does seem to have genuine feelings for Denise" I say. I smile ruefully, "Doesn't help that his mother and I have history though!" I add.

Christian stares at me, "What?" he asks.

I nod, "Oh yes, there was quite the awkward moment when I went to the Landon place to fetch Denise" I say.

"Janice – Josh's mother, was there, apparently she had been off with Denise during the evening, which pissed me off considering how Landon had practically begged me to give Josh a fair chance, but Denise wasn't concerned she had given back as good as what was sent so I let it go, but she had questioned me about it on the way home which had led to some awkward questions. Janice still seems to hold a grudge over how I treated her years ago" I say Christian says nothing but his expression tells me he is interested so I continue "I fucked her when I was younger - only the once, she was a one night stand and all that, but she got attached after that one night and she thought more was going to happen between us because I'd fucked her, and she didn't take it too well when I made it clear nothing would. I hadn't seen her for years I knew she had married Landon but when I was at their place… it was uncomfortable" I say.

Christian laughs and throws back his whiskey. He goes to say something but then there is a knock at the door and we both look towards it.

"Come in" Christian calls.

Josh is standing there looking worried, Christian smiles at him and I stand up. "What is it?" I ask immediately on alert.

Josh glances behind him, he looks uncomfortable as if he is betraying Denise by being here "Denise is taking a warm bath, but I'm worried about her as this news has affected her badly, she is like a coiled spring, I have never seen her like this" he says.

"We need to be there for her to support her through this" I say.

Josh nods "That goes without saying but its like something has snapped, she isn't behaving rationally" he says.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

He steps inside and closes the door, "I've never seen her so irrational, she is normally so calm and collected no matter what the situation, she is so mature and that is what attracted me to her the she never got flustered by any situations she just handled them but today its as if something has snapped it was like a roller coaster talking to her - major mood swing" he says, "first of all she was all weepy and blaming herself, I told her it wasn't her fault and she just flew at me, she screamed at me that I knew nothing and she shoved me then she said Mike was to blame for all this and that she was going to kill him and it wasn't just an idle threat, she really meant it. In that moment she meant every damn word, the intention and the anger wasn't anything I had ever seen before and then she just shut down completely and said she was going for a bath and that she wanted to be alone, I'm scared Mr Cross" he says.

"It's the grief" Christian says quietly.

"Whatever it is it was scary" Josh says. He looks at me, "I just thought you should know" he adds.

"Thank you Josh" I say.

I am feeling so out of my depth at this moment I have no idea what to do, then we hear raised voices we all look at one another and head towards the arguing. On the landing of the upper floor Denise is standing with her hands on her hips screaming at Zoe who looks totally bewildered, she is cowering and crying and repeatedly saying sorry but the confusion on her face is evident as is the relief when she sees me approach.

"What the hell is going on?" I ask sharply as Zoe runs to me and clings like a limpet to me.

Denise stops and takes in the sight of her little sister crying in my arms and she suddenly looks horrified at what she has done.

"Shit, I'm sorry" she gasps, she walks up to me and touches Zoe gently, "I'm so sorry Zoe I didn't mean it" she says.

Zoe stares at her and through the sobs stammers her apologies once again.

"What's going on?" I ask again.

Denise shakes her head, "I over reacted, I unpacked some of my stuff to have a warm bath I wanted to relax, I felt antsy after everything that happened this morning and Zoe went in my stuff looking for something and I caught her and I kind of lost it a bit" she says.

I look down at my eight year old who is still hiccupping with wracking sobs. "Why did you go in Dennie's things?" I ask her.

"I was just looking for something" she says, "I've done it before and she didn't mind but today she did" she says.

Denise holds out her hand and rubs Zoe's arm, "It's ok Zoe, I'm just feeling a little bit out of sorts today, I got some bad news and it kind of got to me, I'm sorry I yelled at you" she looks genuinely sorry for her outburst.

I put Zoe on the ground and she quickly runs downstairs out of the way. Denise watches her go and the tears start to form in her eyes, she looks at me.

"Shit dad what the fuck did I just do, I didn't mean any of that?" she says. I walk up to her and hold her.

"You are grieving Denise and its affecting you in strange ways" I say quietly. I watch as she nods and then she returns to her room and closes the door.

**(DENISE)**

I can't believe I have just yelled at my little sister like some kind of lunatic, what the fuck is wrong with me? I feel so angry, antsy and stressed, I just want to hurt someone so they feel as bad as I do at this moment, but Zoe did nothing wrong and now I feel so bad for frightening her.

I can tell my dad is worried by my outbursts today, I don't do outbursts and today I have had two, well three, but the other one was only witnessed by Josh. I think I bothered him too; I try and get a control on my spiralling emotions. I head back into the bedroom and take a deep breath; I need to get myself under control, so I pull out my phone and the business card which John Flynn pressed into my hand at the end of one of our sessions. He had told me that if I ever just needed to talk or vent and didn't feel as if I could talk to my dad to call him. I look at the cell phone number he had hand written on the card.

"John its Denise Cross" I say when he answers.

"Denise, what a pleasant surprise what can I do for you" he asks his kind British accent immediately calms me.

"I'm going fucking mad John" I say.

"Now Denise I really don't think that is the case, why don't you talk to me and tell me what has happened" he says.

So I do, I spill my guts and tell him about the phone call I had from Jenny yesterday, and how she is now dead, I tell him about my subsequent meltdowns and how I am feeling right now how I just want to hurt someone until they feel as bad as I do.

"Well Denise I can assure you that you are not going mad" he says "what you are experiencing is quite normal, it is grief. You are grieving for your friend, tell me Denise did you have feelings like this when your mother died?" he asks.

"No, not at all" I answer honestly, "My dad fell apart the day after my mom died, he wouldn't come out of his room all day, my granddad and Uncle Christopher tried all day to get him out, Aunty Ireland was there as well, but it wasn't until I phoned Uncle Christian and he yelled down the phone at him to stop being so selfish that he came out, but I didn't do anything really. I didn't cry – well I did but not cry, cry if you get what I mean. I cried mainly because I was so worried about my dad I didn't shout or anything. I was sad, I mean of course I was sad, my mom had just fucking died, but I had to hold it together because my dad was falling apart and my sisters needed me. Zoe was only five years old at the time and Liv was ten and they looked to me for support so I had to be there for them. I just got on with it" I say quietly.

"Did you let go at any point at all?" John asks.

"No not really, I cried a bit at the funeral, we all did but I had to be strong for my dad and sisters, they needed me and that's just how its been ever since, dad kind of buried himself in Cross Industries as his way of coping and I became sort of a surrogate mom to Liv and Zoe, I didn't have time to think about how I felt. It wasn't until I met Josh that I had someone there for me, and I had this massive row with my dad about it and I told him that I wanted to live my life, and have someone who looked out for me and love me it kind of shook him up that I felt like that and to his credit he changed from that moment onwards and our relationship hasn't looked back and we have been really tight" I say.

I hear John sigh, "Well I think I can explain exactly what you are feeling then – all the grief and emotional feelings you suppressed when your mother died is finally getting an outlet now, which is making the reaction to your friends death more violent, I am a little worried about this Denise, as this could have a negative effect on you and your mental wellbeing if you are not careful, you need to allow yourself time to properly grieve for your friend, and to let out all this suppressed emotion, but you also need to be aware of how you do it. When do you go home to New York?" he asks.

"Later today" I reply.

"Alright, what I am going to do is call your father as soon as we are done and I am going to give him the contact details of a grief counsellor I know in New York. She is a lovely lady and an old friend of mine, do I have your permission to discuss what we have talked about with your father so he can also help you?" John asks.

"Yeah sure" I reply.

We talk a while longer and then I end the call, I do feel a little better for talking to John, I head downstairs and see my father talking on his phone and I know it is John Flynn talking to him. He stares at me as he listens and he holds out his hand to me, I walk up to him and wrap my arms around his waist and he puts his free arm around my shoulder and I close my eyes as I feel his strong warm body against me I feel safe and loved and I know instinctively that my dad will do everything he possibly can to help me get through this.


	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11

My father's plane lands at La Guardia and I won't lie I am glad to be back in New York. It's quite late, as we leave the plane and Josh's father is waiting on the tarmac to pick him up, I realise this is probably down to the security risks which my dad has obviously told Mr Landon about.

"Hi dad, thanks for meeting me" Josh says as he embraces his father.

"Hello Josh, did you have a good time in Seattle?" Mr Landon asks smiling and obviously pleased to have his son home.

"I did, Mr and Mrs Grey are lovely people" Josh says graciously.

Mr Landon turns to me and smiles widely at me, "hello Denise, how are you?" he asks gently, there is a certain tone to his voice that makes me realise he must be referring to Jenny dying.

I manage a smile back, "I'm ok" I reply a little abruptly, because I don't want to talk about it as I am really _not_ ok at the moment.

Josh who is still in his father's embrace reaches for me and grips my hand and I feel my father appear beside me, as he puts one hand on my shoulder. They both know I'm not ok as well and I feel comforted by their gestures of support.

"Landon" he says as he reaches forward his other hand outstretched.

"Cross" Mr Landon says as he accepts his handshake.

I look at Josh as he rolls his eyes he steps out of his father's arms and hugs me tightly. "I'll call you tomorrow and perhaps we can get together and do something?" he says quietly in my ear.

I nod, "I'd like that" I whisper back, his mouth searches for mine and he kisses me softly and sweetly. I know both his dad and mine are probably a little uncomfortable with this public show of affection but at this moment I couldn't give a damn.

"Thank you for taking Josh with you to Seattle" Mr Landon says to my dad.

"No problem" my dad replies carelessly.

"Erm, I wanted to contact Grey and personally thank him for his hospitality and how he made my son feel welcome in his home" Mr Landon says I wonder why he is saying this it's almost as if he is looking for permission.

My dad nods, "I'm sure my brother would appreciate the gesture" he says.

The awkwardness is broken by Liv asking if we are going home and I hug Josh once more before he gets into the car with his father and they leave us. As the car pulls away I feel a strange sense of abandonment, Josh has been there with me for three whole weeks and apart from the therapy sessions I attended with my dad we have done everything together. It feels strange for him to suddenly not be here.

"Come on lets get home" my dad says as he shepherds us all to the waiting Bentley.

When we arrive at the Penthouse the familiarity of the place over whelms me and after a few moments it almost feels like we have never been away.

"Is anyone hungry?" My father asks us, looking around.

Zoe immediately says she wants pizza and Liv looks enthusiastic at that idea, my father looks at me questioningly and I smile and nod although in reality I'm not that hungry. I go to my room and the first thing that catches my eye is the framed picture of me and Jenny, we are hugging and we look happy and carefree. I pick it up and tears blur my vision, suddenly I am filled with anger an overwhelming and irrational anger, my best friend is dead and the fact is she shouldn't be.

I throw the picture at the wall and it smashes, I look at the mess and curse and shake my head, I grab my bin and start gathering up the shards of glass and the broken frame, as I grab one shard the sharp edge pierces my skin, and I take in a sharp intake of breath at the pain, as I watch the blood oozing from the cut I look at another shard and press it against another finger and I deliberately pierce my skin. Once again the pain hits me. I pause and then I shake my head, what the fuck am I doing? I gather up the shards and toss them in the bin.

"What happened?" I turn and see Liv watching me.

"I knocked a picture off my drawers and it smashed" I say, she crouches beside me and goes to help me pick up the pieces, she glances at my hand and sees the blood drip from the cuts.

"Jesus Dennie you're bleeding, you've cut yourself!" she exclaims.

"Oh well!" I say carelessly, I look at her, "Be careful or you will do the same thing" I add.

Liv looks at me, "Denise, dad told me that Jenny... I mean... I just want you to know... I know she was your friend... what I'm trying to say is" she stops clearly uncomfortable so in the end she just puts her hand on my arm. I watch she tries to formulate what she wants to say.

"You were there for me and Zoe when mom died, and I don't think I would have got through that time without you. I know I'm younger than you and you probably don't want to hear this but if you want to talk or anything you know" she stops again. I smile and pat her hand gently.

"Thanks sis I'll bear that in mind" I say as I try to make the smile appear genuine and not forced. She looks at me closely and then nods.

"Do you want me to go now?" she asks and I just nod at her, "Ok" she replies and stands up as she turns to go I call out to her.

"Liv!" I call, she turns and looks at me, "Thanks" I say.

She nods and leaves me. A few moments later there is a knock at the door and I sigh, "Come in" I call, I look up and my dad is standing there with the first aid box in his hand, I smile Liv must have gone and told him I'd cut myself.

I hold my hand out and my father crouches beside me, he sprays the cuts with antiseptic spray and then covers them with plasters. He turns his attention to the now frameless photograph on the floor and frowns.

"Did the frame really fall off Denise?" he asks his eyebrows raised, I stare at him and slowly shake my head.

"No I saw it picked it up and looked at it and I got so angry and I just threw it at the wall and it smashed" I say as I lower my head.

My dad sighs and puts his hand on my shoulder, "ok" he says I step closer and his hand moves to the back of my head and he pulls me towards him.

I look up at him, "She shouldn't be dead dad, because she had her whole life in front of her!" I snap the anger rising again.

My dad smiles at me, "I know I felt much the same way when your mom died - that it was unfair" he says.

The silence that follows that is deafening my dad finally breaks it, "come on the pizza has arrived come and get something to eat" he says rising to his feet and holding out his hand to me, I stand and follow him out to the kitchen.

A while later and we are all sitting around talking, Zoe has fallen asleep and my father lifts her into his arms and carries her to bed, leaving Liv and I alone.

"Dennie, it wasn't your fault you know, that Jenny died" Liv says quietly, I turn my head and look at her in surprise.

"How much do you know?" I ask.

She shrugs at me, "enough, she was expecting a baby wasn't she, Mike raped her and made her pregnant and she killed her self didn't she?" she says.

"Liv, there is so much more to all this than just what happened to Jenny, but you have to trust me on this, this stuff gets in your head it will fuck you up!" I say.

"I have ears Dennie, I have heard you and dad talking and I've worked a lot out for myself, I want you to be honest with me Dennie, you don't have to tell me anything I will do the talking and you just answer yes or no" she says.

I sigh, "Ok go on" I say, I pull my knees up and wait, I am nursing a mug of Horlicks and I take a sip.

"Ok, something bad happened to dad when he was a kid?" she asks.

"Yes" I reply.

"Someone called Sybil Hanson was involved?" she asks.

I shrug, "Not directly" I say.

"Ok, but she also has something to do with Uncle Christian too?"

"Yes".

"She is in prison and wants revenge on Uncle Christian and dad?" she asks.

"Yes" I say.

"So she is getting people to do things for her to try and get to dad and Uncle Christian and they are doing it through you and Jenny?" she asks.

"Yes and no" I reply, "Through me, yes – Jenny was a separate issue and nothing to do with any of this" I explain.

"I heard Raul say Miss Ellis at school has something to do with it too?" she asks.

I nod, "Yes she does" I say.

"Are we in danger?" she asks after a pause her eyes going wide and fearful.

I think for a moment, "There is a credible threat" I say carefully, "It appears to be me at present that they are targeting but Zoe has also been targeted".

"Shit!" Liv says.

I put down my mug and reach out to my sister, "Look I know all the details and trust me on this you really don't want them in your head, but I won't let anyone hurt you Liv, dad is working with Raul and the team to keep us all safe and we have to trust him" I say.

Liv nods at me "Ok" she says.

I smile at her, "the details aren't important for you to know and they will just fuck with your mind, if you knew what both Uncle Christian and dad have been through. You know enough to keep you safe, but all you have to do is do exactly what Raul tells you and what dad tells you ok?" I say.

She nods, "and will you be doing exactly as you are told as well?" she asks looking at me with raised eyebrows.

I can't help but snort with laughter, "I won't put myself in danger knowingly" I say.

"I'll take that as a no then!" she says.

"Take it how ever you like" I retort.

"I'm going to bed, thank you for being honest with me" she says.

"Goodnight" I reply, I watch her as she uncurls from the sofa and leaves the room, as she reaches the door it opens and my dad is standing there he kisses her goodnight and steps aside as she leaves the room.

I pick up my mug and start drinking my Horlicks again and watch my father stroll meaningfully towards me, he sits down beside me and crosses his legs so his ankle is resting on his knee, and he turns to face me.

"I heard" he says.

I look at him, "and?" I say

"And... I think you handled it very well, she had worked it out and you were honest with her without telling her anything and I thank you for that" he says.

"She said she had overheard us talking and stuff" I say.

"I heard" he repeats. "She also asked me outright what had happened to Jenny. I told her she had died but I didn't go into details, but it appears she found out from somewhere else" he says.

"Josh probably, I bet she asked him and he wouldn't think twice about telling her" I say.

I hear my fathers phone buzz and he quickly looks at it.

"That was Raul he has information and he is on his way up" my dad says pushing the phone back into his pocket.

About 10 minutes later Raul arrives and he looks grim, he has some papers in his hand which he hands to my father before sitting down with us.

"Well, I have found the mole it was Vinnie Thompson he has been in security for years and after a considerable amount of digging I discovered he did a stint at the BDSM club where Sybil frequented, he was paid by her to turn a blind eye to the underage kids she brought there, he became friends with her and well..." Raul stops.

"How the fuck did that get past your background checks when he joined us?" my dad asks.

"Very easily considering Vinnie Thompson isn't actually his real name, we did a background check on Vinnie Thompson born and bred in New York City and I tell you it took some serious digging to unearth the truth he made the lie good and secure," Raul says.

"Where is he now?" my dad asks.

"Gone sir, I reassigned him to home detail on your Outer Banks property, he wasn't willing to take it so I let him go. As far as he knows its because he refused to take the turn on home detail, all the guys do it and none of them like it as there is really nothing to do there, but he blatantly refused because he wanted to be here feeding information back, he isn't too bright obviously as he has lost his job now plus he has no idea we know what he was doing which is how we want to keep it, I have a tail on him and I have changed the protocol for the girls for when they return to school and there will be security stationed at the school with them throughout the day. Not in the school grounds but the school will be staked out, nobody will be getting in or out without me knowing about it. I am still working on getting everything I can on Hillary Ellis I have a tail on her and I am going to try and get someone inside the school" he says.

My dad nods "Alright thank you for that" he says.

"Raul will you take me to Jenny's place tomorrow I want to see her dad and talk to him" I say.

Raul looks at my dad who nods, "Sure" he replies.

"Thank you" I say I get up and take my mug into the kitchen when I return Raul has gone and my dad is just staring into space.

I walk up to him and kiss him on the head, "Goodnight dad" I say.

"Goodnight Dennie" he replies, "Sleep well" he adds with a smile.

**oooOOOooo**

I feel butterflies in my tummy as I approach Jenny's house, Raul is with me at my father's insistence, as is Josh, he insisted on coming and accompanying me, as he wanted to pay his respects to Jenny's dad. As we walk over to the apartment block though I freeze as I see a woman letting herself in, it is Jenny's step mom.

I pull myself together and tell myself not to jump to conclusions. She could be there to pick up her stuff, she could also be there for the same reason we are, but I know that is a long shot. I grip Josh's hand tightly and we walk towards the entrance of the apartment block and I press the intercom button for the apartment which Jenny lived in with her father.

"Hello" I hear Jenny's father's voice.

I clear my throat, "Erm hello it's Denise Cross and Josh Landon, we came to talk to you sir" I say politely.

There is a pause "Hello Denise come on up" is the reply and the door buzzes.

We head up to the apartment and Jenny's father is waiting to let us in, I quickly introduce Raul and he shakes hands with Jenny's dad.

As we enter the apartment I see Jenny's step mom, and she is making herself at home, really at home she is wearing a pair of sweats and a thin top with no bra and is lounging on the sofa. She looks across at me and at Josh. I feel the anger rising in my gut.

"Denise you've met Lindsey before?" Jenny's father asks, he says it as a question but it is more a statement, I glare at him.

"I have, and I thought you threw her out when she accused Jenny of leading her twisted rapist son on?" I spit.

I see him stiffen and he has the grace to look uncomfortable and suddenly with awful clarity everything falls into place and I stare at him.

"Oh my god, you've taken her back, despite what she said you have gone back to her, haven't you?" I say my voice gradually getting louder.

"Denise" Raul warns and puts his hand on my arm. I yank my arm away from him and as Josh tries to grab me I pull away from him too. I'm getting warmed up now and into my stride, the truth of the situation piecing together in my mind.

"You are unbelievable, Jenny called me and told me she was pregnant and that she was going to terminate the pregnancy, and I assumed she would talk things over with you and you'd help her. My father told me when he called you, you had no idea about the pregnancy and you weren't at home you told my dad you were at work, but you lied to him didn't you - you were with her weren't you? You were more interested in her than your daughter who was going through torment and complete hell and the worst bit of all was she knew you were with her, you were with her when Jenny needed you and she knew you had gone back to her didn't she?" I pause for a second and look him straight in the eye "and _that_ is why she killed herself, she didn't terminate the pregnancy and then accidentally die as a result of her actions she purposely killed herself didn't she because you fucking abandoned her?"

I glare at Jenny's dad and I can see the truth on his face.

"I love Lindsey, and she apologised for what she had previously said" he says lamely.

I shake my head, "Well that makes everything better doesn't it!" I say sarcastically "To think I came here to give you my condolences and to talk to you and you treated your daughter like that, you abandoned her and went back to the woman who accused her of leading her son on!" I turn to Lindsey.

"Your son is a fucking monster, he raped my friend repeatedly she was a fucking virgin when he met her he violated her, he controlled her and when he knew I was on to him he tried to strangle me, he attacked me and tried to strangle me" I snarl.

"Denise" Josh says reaching for me once again but I yank myself away. I feel the anger explode from me.

I walk towards Jenny's dad and I push him, he is shocked at my actions and not ready for the vehemence of them and he stumbles backwards, "ITS YOUR FAULT SHE IS DEAD YOU FUCKING KILLED HER YOU PIECE OF SHIT" I scream.

I see the anger on his face as he goes to grab me Raul steps in and pulls me away. In my anguish I turn on Raul.

"GET THE FUCK OFF ME RAUL, HE KILLED HER DON'T YOU SEE, HE DESTROYED HER, SHE NEEDED HIM AND HE ABANDONED HER HE LEFT HER HERE ALONE, WHILE HE WAS OUT FUCKING THAT INSTEAD OF BEING WITH HIS DAUGHTER AND TAKING CARE OF HER" I point at Lindsey.

"I think you need to go now" Jenny's dad says, but the look in his eyes tells me I have scored a direct hit, everything I have said is correct.

"Come on Denise" Raul says gently, I am shaking I look wildly around me and I start yelling again, I can't stop its all pouring out of me all the anger and pain I have had not only for Jenny but also everything I had and suppressed from my mother's death its all coming out in a vicious tirade directed at these people. This weak man who in my mind helped to destroy his daughter and the step mother who never had any interest in the girl she took on and I am powerless to stop it.

"YOU ARE FUCKING SCUM, I HOPE YOU ROT IN HELL PICKING THAT OVER YOUR DAUGHTER, JENNY FUCKING NEEDED YOU AND YOU BETRAYED HER, I HOPE YOU CAN LIVE WITH YOUR DECISION" I stare at Lindsey and laugh mirthlessly, before I return my attention to Jenny's dad, "and I hope she's fucking worth it!" I say in a calmer tone.

I turn to leave and I hear Lindsey say something I spin around and lurch towards her.

"What did you say?" I ask leaning over her.

"I said your father needs to take you in hand" she says defiantly.

"Lindsey please" Jenny's dad says.

Before I can stop myself I bring my hand up and slap her around the face, hard.

"Don't you fucking dare! You are not worthy to even think about my father let alone speak of him" I snarl as I get right into her face.

"He needs to take me in hand does he? What like your husband did to your daughter who he raped and made pregnant, or this prime example of fatherhood that left his daughter alone and emotionally destroyed to commit suicide while he was out fucking you. Is that your idea of parental discipline? You walked out on your kids and left them with a monster so you have no right to even think about my dad, who is the best parent in the world, while you on the other hand are scum no you are worse to call you scum is an insult to scum!" I am still screaming at her as Raul and Josh pull me away.

I have calmed by the time we reach the door, Jenny's dad looks at me and I look him straight in the eye.

"I hope you are happy with your decision, and you can live with what you have done because you have Jenny's blood on your hands" I say. I see my words have hit him hard and I get a feeling of pleasure about that and with that we all leave.

Josh is silent as he holds me in the back of the car as we drive back to our penthouse. I am sobbing now on his shoulder as Raul drives us home.

My father is waiting when we return, I vaguely heard Raul calling my dad as we left the apartment and I wonder if Jenny's dad has also called him. I look at him gauging his expression, my guess is he now knows everything that I said and did.

"Come here sweetheart" he says gently and I know immediately he isn't angry with me.

We head inside and between the three of us we tell the story of the events and I explain what I believe happened the night Jenny died.

"I know he wasn't at work dad he was with her, he chose her over his daughter" I say, "I saw it on his face when I said it, with his reaction it was only there for a moment but I saw it" I say.

"Well he has to live with his decision and its consequences for the rest of his life" my dad says quietly.

I nod and rest my head on his shoulder as he sits cradling me.

It suddenly occurs to me that my father hasn't gone to work, I look up at him.

"Why didn't you go to the office today, we have been away for three weeks I would have thought you'd be in your office digging your way through a ton of work?" I ask.

My father smiles, "I have kept on top of things while I was on vacation and I have a perfectly competent team to handle the more mundane things, when you said you were going to see Jenny's father I wasn't sure what frame of mind you'd be in when you came back and so I decided to work from home today so I could be here for you, and I am glad I made that decision in light of what has happened" he says.

The love I feel for my dad at this moment is overwhelming, knowing that he rearranged his day and his plans for me, the difference between him and Jenny's father is stark and I am speechless so all I do is lean towards him and squeeze him silently.

**oooOOOooo**

The day of Jenny's funeral arrives and I am determined to go, Josh wants to go and I want to go with him. I'm not sure what sort of reception I will get considering what I did and said to Jenny's dad the last time I saw him.

I felt better for a while after my outburst at Jenny's but since then I have slipped into a kind of depression, I miss her so much. I still get the urge to call her and tell her about things which have happened and then I stop and realise I can't and every time that happens I sink just a little bit lower.

Josh arrives at our Penthouse looking smart in a sharp black suit, white shirt and black tie, I smile at him, I have never seen him so smartly dressed. His dad is with him and I am surprised he is also going, but then I remember that since Jenny is now dead Mike has been released. I hope he doesn't turn up at the funeral, surely he wouldn't do that but that family have no boundaries so anything is possible and considering how he stalked Josh the possibility isn't inconsiderable.

My dad is also going he and Raul are going with us, I think more than anything to make sure I don't do anything, as I am so volatile at the moment. Liv and Zoe aren't going though, Zoe didn't really know Jenny that well and Liv said she doesn't want to.

"Are we ready then?" Raul asks nobody in particular as he looks around the room. My father is dressed in a pinstriped black three piece suit with a black shirt and tie and his trademark gold and onyx cufflinks. I look at him, he is my dad but he is a seriously good looking man and I remember my mom telling me how when she first met my dad he was dressed in one of his business suits and how it had knocked her on her ass in the lobby of the Crossfire, literally. I had laughed when she had told me that but looking at him I can see what she meant. He is in his early 40's now and the first hints of grey are starting to appear in his inky black hair which he still wears slightly overlong. But he keeps himself in shape and works out every day he is religious about it. I often wonder if he will ever met someone else and remarry?

I am pulled from my musings as Josh walks up to me and wraps his arm around me. "Ready?" he asks.

I take a deep breath and nod, "I am" I reply, gripping Josh's hand we head downstairs to the car.

We arrive at the funeral home and the small group of people assembled there stare at us as we approach. I spot Jenny's father and Lindsey standing to the side. I find it interesting to note that they are alone nobody is approaching them or even acknowledging them. Jenny was an only child as her mother died when she was five and they didn't have any more children. I notice members of Jenny's mother's and father's family, Jenny's grandmothers and uncles look up and smile at me when I walk in, I had met most of them a few times over the years and they were always kind to me.

There are other people milling around that I don't know and they also stare open mouthed at us, well at my father. I find it is quite telling everyone without exception are all totally ignoring Jenny's father, even his own mother and brother. I leave my dad and Josh and walk over to Jenny's maternal grandmother and hug her tightly.

"Hello" I say quietly.

"Denise you darling girl how are you?" the old woman in front of me says returning my hug. Jenny's paternal grandmother walks over and embraces me. These are good people they are kind and warm and I can tell Jenny's death has affected them all profoundly.

"I'm fine" I say and manage a weak smile.

Jenny's maternal grandmother touches my face, "No you're not, and I think I know why" she glances at Jenny's dad. "He let her down badly didn't he?" she says quietly. I stare at the woman in front of me this isn't the time or place to say this.

I grip her hand tightly and lean towards her, "You're right, but can we talk about this later?" I ask.

She nods at me and strokes my cheek. "Of course we can" she whispers.

Jenny's paternal grandmother speaks quietly to me, "I am so ashamed of him and what he has done, he is no son of mine" she says.

Jenny's uncles approach me and embrace me and I introduce them all to my dad and to Josh and his father. I can sense a latent anger directed towards Jenny's dad coming from every one of them even his own mother, but as they all meet my dad I can tell they are all in awe of him. It is clear that having _the_ Gideon Cross here is a big thing. Raul is hovering and everyone is eyeing him suspiciously, as he is attracting a lot attention and I'm sure people are wondering who he is. I call him over and introduce him too and I can't help but stifle a giggle as both Jenny's grandmother's both make a fuss over him and start hugging him. I glance at my dad who is hiding a smile behind his hand as he watches his head of security looking increasingly uncomfortable with the unwanted attention of these women.

The service is lovely, I hold Josh's hand tightly and he spends the majority of the time with his arm secured around me. I am glad Mike didn't show up, I still can't understand why Mike has been released, nobody seems to want to tell me either. After the service I am once again surrounded by Jenny's mother's family. Jenny's father's family have gone, they came to pay their respects to Jenny and then quietly slipped away. Jenny's mother's family want to know the truth and I believe I owe it to them. I owe nothing to Jenny's father who in my opinion has behaved appallingly.

I pull them to one side and tell them everything. I tell them how Lindsey had accused Jenny of leading her son on and how that had upset Jenny. Then I go on to tell them how Jenny called me while I was in Seattle and what she had said, and how with hindsight now I realise she was saying goodbye to me and then I tell them of my outburst towards Jenny's father a couple of days ago. I don't hold back I purge myself of everything, and go on to tell them my suspicions.

I look up into Jenny's grandmother's face, "I know I am right" I say firmly, "When I said it, I saw his reaction, I had hit the nail on the head, he had left Jenny alone and was out with her instead, he picked the mother of his daughters rapist over his own daughter" I say sadly.

She nods "I had figured as much myself, when he called me to tell me of Jenny's death he seemed off, and something Jenny had said the last time I spoke to her, she knew he had gone back to her but to leave her alone when she was so obviously struggling to cope, that was unforgivable" she says. "Sandra thinks the same way as well" she says.

"Sandra?" I ask.

"His mother" she explains.

I nod in understanding and I go on with my story, "It was totally unforgivable. When I realised I was right, I said as much to him, but not in such a polite way" I say.

Jenny's uncle pats my shoulder with a tight smile on his face, "You are a good girl Denise you were a good friend to Jenny you couldn't have done anything more, he is the one to blame for her death" he says bitterly.

The atmosphere is tense I know all it will need is one thing to ignite the spark. Unfortunately that one thing appears at the gathering. I freeze as I look around and spot Mike appearing in the doorway. Everyone follows my gaze and my dad, Raul and Josh all reach for me, but I am too quick for them.

"What the fuck is he doing here?" I growl. Jenny's uncles all look at one another and flank me closing around me but they don't try and stop me as I quickly cross the floor towards him.

"Denise, come here now" my father snaps in his most authoritative tone, but I am too angry to even register it. Jenny's father goes deathly white at the unfolding scene in front of him and I hear him say something to Lindsey which just makes me angrier, unfortunately Jenny's grandmother hears it as well.

"You promised he wouldn't come, when we dropped the rape charge that was the agreement, he would stay away" he says to Lindsey.

"You bastard!" Jenny's grandmother screams at him "That piece of shit raped your daughter and you have dropped the charges?!" the gasp that goes around the room at this it is so loud.

"Jenny is dead, it won't bring her back to pursue this" he says stubbornly.

I reach Mike and he grins at me which flips me totally over the edge. I don't say a word I just I pull my arm back and punch him directly in his smiling mouth, its quick and hard enough to make his head snap back and split his lip, I have trained with my fathers personal trainer all my life as well as received intense self defence lessons from my aunt while I was in Seattle which have now taught me not to freeze if I am attacked and that has resulted in me being quick and he didn't see the punch coming but he recovers and lurches towards me. The self defence my aunt taught me goes through my mind and I methodically pummel him, blocking his advances and getting in enough hits to make him buckle, and as he falls to the floor and before he can recover I stamp on him with my stiletto, directly between his legs, my aunt told me how she had done this very same move on the man who had raped my mother years ago. Mike lets out a blood curdling scream and all the men in the room flinch dramatically.

I don't move my foot but twist my heel making him scream louder, "That is for Jenny you scum, with a bit of luck you won't be using that to rape any more women and tell your dad if he or any of your pervert brothers approach my family again they will get the same treatment do you understand me?" I snarl.

He glares at me, but I can tell he is in terrific pain. I realise nobody is coming to his aid, they are all letting me do what I need to do to him, Jenny's mothers family are holding Jenny's father and Mike's step mother back to stop them from intervening and Raul is watching me, he is hovering but I think that is to pull me away should Mike retaliate. He isn't answering me, so I lean a little harder on the foot buried in his groin and move it again.

"I said did you understand me?" I repeat.

He nods "please get off me, it hurts" he whimpers.

I stare at him, "Did Jenny say that to you when you raped her?" I spit.

He says nothing, so I twist my foot again and he screams again. "Please" he begs.

"Why should I? You didn't listen to Jenny when she was begging you to stop and get off her, when she said no, when she told you she didn't want to, when she told you it hurt, explain to me why I should give you mercy when you repeatedly gave her none?" I snarl.

"Because, you are a better person than he is Denise". I jump at the calm voice and the hand on my elbow, "Come on Denise you have made your point". I ease my foot out of Mikes groin and he wails in pain again curling into a ball, and gripping himself. I turn towards the voice, it was Josh. I walk towards him and he folds me into his arms. Jenny's uncles come forward and they drag Mike to his feet and he is taken outside, and I have no doubt he won't leave without a beating from them.

Lindsey comes forward and glares at me, "I am pressing charges against you for assault" she screams. Jenny's father pulls her trying to stop her. I am immediately surrounded by Jenny's family and the other guests' these are people I have never met and I have no idea who they are. One man steps forward and speaks.

"For what? Nothing happened, nobody here saw anything" he turns to the group of people, "Did anyone see this girl assault anyone?" he says loudly.

There is a murmur around the room of no and people shaking their heads. It hadn't occurred to me that I had just actually assaulted someone in front of a room full of witnesses but it appears that the majority of people here viewed what I did as justice for Jenny rather than assault.

Lindsey goes white as she sees the crowd of angry faces and she turns to Jenny's father. "Say something, damn it!" she snaps at him.

He shakes his head, "No, you promised me he would stay away, you begged me to drop the charges you told me he would get help and move away from the influence of his father and I believed you" he says as he looks at her. "I love you Lindsey and I believed you, I alienated myself from my own family because I believed you" he says.

She stares at him, "It's not Mike's fault it's Donny's fault he was the one who abused him" she screams.

I look at her with contempt, "Not just Donny's fault" I spit at her, she stares at me.

"You are his mother, and as such you should have protected him and his siblings against his father, you escaped, you should have taken them with you" I say.

There is a general murmur of agreement around me; Lindsey stares at me, almost as if she can't comprehend what I am saying.

"All my kids were conceived through rape, I can't love them as I should" she says.

"In which case you should have aborted them or put them up for adoption, rather than condemning them to the life you have done, and you could have got out sooner before there were so many more victims, there are places and organisations you could have turned to" I say coldly.

She stares at me as if that had never occurred to her.

Jenny's father grabs her and pulls her away, and I watch as they leave. After they have gone, everyone else starts to leave and soon it is only our small group left. Josh's father is staring at me.

"What?" I ask defensively as I meet his intense gaze.

He shakes his head, "Just remind me never to get on your wrong side" he says wryly.


	12. Chapter 12

CHAPTER 12

The weeks pass quickly and all too soon the school holidays come to an end and thankfully we don't hear or see anything more from Mike or his fucked up family. I am now 16 years old having celebrated my birthday during the summer break and when we return to school in a few days time I will be in my senior year after having been successfully fast tracked and I am looking forward to the challenge as the work in the year I was in was stupidly easy to me. Josh and I are still going strong and I really want to take the next step with him. I know he feels the same way, I mean its obvious when he kisses me, hell it's obvious when all he does is look at me as anyone would have to be blind not to see the visible signs that he not only loves me but also lusts after me. We love each other with a searing passion and I know for a fact that there is something special between us. I want him and I know he wants me and we both feel its time to take the next step in our relationship.

I have no worries about taking that step as I know I cannot get pregnant, not that I wouldn't make sure I was fully protected before doing anything with anyone. However, I am on birth control now and have been for a few weeks now and it had nothing to do with Josh, it was primarily to help to regulate my periods. That was an embarrassing conversation with my dad, I had previously spoken to my Aunty Ireland as my erratic and heavy painful periods were becoming a problem and so she had taken me to the doctors and I had been prescribed the pill. My dad had then found them and jumped to natural but wrong conclusions and went ballistic.

I remember that day a few weeks ago...

_"Dad I'm home!" I call out as I fling my jacket across the chair and kick my shoes off, Liv comes running in to me looking anxious, she glances behind her and pulls me to one side._

_"Dennie, I have no idea what you have done but dad is furious with you" she hisses. I stare at her as I quickly go through the past 24 hours in my mind and then gradually work backwards from that point wondering what on earth I could have done._

_"What did I do?" I ask as my mind comes up a complete blank._

_She shrugs, "I don't know but he was on the phone to Mr Landon and you know how dad doesn't yell, well he yelled!" she says._

_I shake my head at a loss wondering what on earth I have possibly done which could have upset him that badly. "Where is he?" I ask looking around the seemingly empty apartment._

_"He's locked himself in his study" she says._

"_Ok tell me what exactly happened?" I ask, I need to know the facts so I can try and figure out what I've supposed to have done before I go to my impending doom._

_Liv looks carefully at me as she thinks for a moment, "he came home from work and checked in with me and Zoe and then went to your room looking for you, then it was when he came out of your room - that was when he lost it, he just came storming out slamming your door and nearly took it off its hinges" she says._

_I think about what I have just been told and I still can't understand what I have done wrong, "I told him I was spending the day with Josh, I had my new CPO with me and I was in contact with Raul as well so what the hell is his problem?" I ask as I start to get irritated._

_Liv shakes her head and shrugs, "I don't know but I have never heard him that angry in a long time, I think the last time that comes close was that time when his real mom said those things about mom just after she died… and there was something else he sounded afraid too it was kind of weird" she says._

_"Well I can't think of anything" I say. I glance at my watch, I am home well before the time I said I'd be home, I know my CPO checked in with Raul when I arrived and I am confident he would have told my dad I was home safely, plus if my dad is that angry with me why hasn't he even acknowledged the fact I am now home?_

_I go to my room and glance around trying to get some clue as to what has made my father flip so spectacularly. As I look around the room it quickly dawns on me exactly what it is, I look at my bedside table and notice my pills are missing. I close my eyes, he has found my contraceptive pills and he thinks I am on the pill because... oh shit! I sigh and go in search of my father to put him straight._

_I knock on the door of his study and walk in without waiting for a response, I see him and he is standing behind his desk looking out of the window his arms folded. The box of pills is on his desk. He doesn't even acknowledge the fact I am there._

_I decide to jump straight in; my theory being attack is the best form of defence. "It's not what you think" I say quietly yet adamantly._

_He spins on the spot and glares at me coldly, "Enlighten me then" he says._

_I raise my eyebrows at him and put my hands on my hips, "You really want to know?" I ask._

_I feel my cheeks heating with the embarrassment of what I am about to tell him but I stand my ground knowing this has to be done and at this moment I am pissed at him, he has always said to go to him and ask if we want to know something, yet he has just jumped to conclusions before finding out the facts. Admittedly they are obvious and to him reasonable conclusions to make but that's beside the point._

_He nods and glances down at the pills. "What else would you want contraception for?" he spits at me._

_I hold up my hand to him to silence him. He is so certain he is right about this, "Just stop dad" I say._

_He opens his mouth to speak again and I quickly jump in. " Fine, but get ready to feel a complete asshole, not to mention totally embarrassed, hell I never expected to have to explain this to you" I say sharply, I look him straight in the eye fighting my own discomfort as I explain, "My periods were erratic, heavy and painful and it was becoming a hassle so I went to the doctor and she suggested the contraceptive pill as it is documented fact that they can help regulate and stabilise the menstrual cycle" I stop and stare at him waiting for a reaction from him. I watch as he visibly relaxes and looks then as the truth dawns on him he looks remorsefully at me, he also has the grace to look really embarrassed._

_"So… you… you and Josh haven't...?" he stammers._

_I shake my head, "No, we haven't" I say and I almost add 'not that we don't want to' but even I know that wouldn't be a good idea at this moment._

_He moves suddenly and rounds his desk walking towards me, "I'm so sorry" he says, "I saw them and part of me was relieved you were being sensible but a bigger part of me wanted to castrate Josh and lock you in your bedroom" he says._

_I shake my head, "Dad, you do realise that if you had just spoken to Aunty Ireland she would have told you, as it was her I talked to about it and she was the one who suggested I go to the doctor and she went with me" I say._

_"I'm sorry" he says again._

_I sigh, "It was all totally innocent dad, but I can understand why you jumped to the conclusions you did" I pause and take a deep breath "Dad… you know I'm not going to lie to you, and I really don't want you to freak out about this but I'm a big girl now. I am sixteen years old, Josh is twenty now, yes there is an age difference four years age difference to be precise, which if I am not mistaken is less than the age difference was between you and mom and is definitely less than Uncle Christian and Aunty Ana, but he treats me like a princess. He respects me and he won't do anything to me that I don't want him to. But I love him dad so you need to come to terms with this, but just remember I am not stupid" I stop as I see him realising what I am telling him._

_"You are only sixteen years old" he says tightly._

_"I am" I say, still staring at him intently trying to figure out if I really want to have this deeply intimate conversation with my father. I can tell he is totally embarrassed by his over reaction to finding my pills and he is feeling out of his depth and at this moment I am feeling pretty uncomfortable too, as this isn't the sort of thing a girl normally discusses with her daddy, but me and my dad have never really had the traditional father daughter relationship since mom died and even more so since we cleared the air and became closer. _

_I talk to my aunts when I want a woman's perspective on things but generally speaking I normally turn to my dad for pretty much everything now and he discusses issues with me. Our relationship is different to the one he has with Liv and Zoe, normally he treats me like an equal probably because of the fact I took over parenting my sisters when he was unable to, which is why this monumental over reaction was unexpected._

_I reach for him and we move over to the sofa in his study and sit down, "Daddy, please believe me on this" I say earnestly._

_He doesn't say a word he just stares at me intently. I work out how I am going to say this in my head._

_"I love Josh and I believe he loves me, we haven't done anything... yet, but it is getting increasingly difficult for both of us to resist if you get what I mean. Josh has always said he will wait until I am totally 100% ready and he also said he wants my first time to be perfect not a rushed fumble" I am getting really uncomfortable now, I feel the heat in my face and I know I am blushing furiously, but I know I have to tell my dad this I know I have to make him understand what Josh and I have isn't usual teenage infatuation and hormone induced lust. I reach for my dad's hand and I concentrate my gaze on his perfectly manicured fingers._

_"Denise" my dad says, but I hold my hand up as I continue to speak._

_"Dad, what Josh and I have – it's the real thing I know it is, we are in love, he has told me that one day he is going to marry me and I believe him dad he adores me, so it is inevitable that we will..." I trail off and I lift my head up and I chance a look at my dad's face._

_His gaze is steady and intense, "thank you for your honesty" he says quietly. He takes a deep breath, "I appreciate this is embarrassing for you discussing your relationship with Josh with me. I won't lie I am relieved you haven't taken that next step yet, but having said that now we have talked I am not so concerned about when you do, and I am realistic enough to know I can't prevent whatever happens between you and Josh. I know you are a sensible girl and you won't do anything you don't want to do which fills me with confidence and you tell me Josh respects you which has always been my greatest fear, that some boy was going to try and take advantage of you, telling you what you wanted to hear just to get his way with you. So I know I am going to have to live with it, but I would naturally prefer it if you waited, but if you do decide to take the next step just please be careful and sensible". He stops and he nods, as if he is coming to terms with something in his mind. He stands up and walks over to his desk picking up my pills he returns and hands them to me._

_I take them from him, "Thank you dad" I say._

_"I suppose I should ring Landon now and apologise" he says with a grimace._

_"Shit dad what did you say to him?" I ask._

_He is the one to look uncomfortable now, "I may have threatened to castrate his son" he says quietly and I can't help it but I start to laugh._

_"Dad, I think you definitely need to call him and apologise!" I say and as I say this my phone buzzes and I pull it out I look up at my dad, "It's Josh" I say._

_"Hi Josh" I say brightly as I answer._

_"Are you cheating on me?" he asks, I am so taken aback by that question and the fact he sounds devastated I am stunned into silence._

_It takes me a moment for me to catch up before I answer "No, I'm not" I say firmly, "I take it your dad has spoken to you?" I say._

_"He has" Josh says tightly._

_I sigh and roll my eyes then I decide to just tell him straight, Jeez what is it with the men in my life._

_"Look the doctor prescribed the contraceptive pill for me to regulate my menstrual cycle that's all. Do you realise how embarrassing this is discussing my bodily functions like this? I have just been through this very conversation with my dad, he found my pills and assumed I was taking them because we were having sex and he lost it and called your dad before I had chance to explain, but I'm sure you can appreciate this topic isn't normally one which is discussed between girls and their dads or girls and their boyfriends for that matter, but he understands now and he believes me, do you?" I ask._

_There is a long silence, "I knew you were struggling with your cycle, and you say this helps you?" he asks his voice softening a little._

_"It does, I talked to my aunt about it and she took me to the doctor and this is what she advised, I swear to you Josh I haven't been with anyone, it's only you and always will be" I say._

_"I believe you" he says, and I sag with relief._

_"I would never cheat on you Josh" I say earnestly._

_There is a rueful chuckle from the other end of the phone, "My dad gave me this massive lecture, telling me you were only sixteen and that if I got you pregnant he would never hear the end of it from your father, and that he understood I had these urges but I had to take the lead and be the responsible one", he says. _

_I smile at that, "Sounds embarrassing, but I'm guessing not as awkward as the conversation I have just had with my dad" I say._

_"I can imagine, I'm sorry Dennie" Josh replies and I can hear the sincere remorse in his voice._

_"You have no idea… but that's ok I forgive you" I say. I stand up and looking at my dad who is watching me carefully, I gesture that I am leaving, he nods and smiles at me as I leave his study._

_I go to my room and close the door, "One good thing has come out of this though" I say eventually._

_"What?" Josh asks._

_"As embarrassing as it was, and as uncomfortable as it was we also ended up discussing my relationship with you and how we feel about each other and I told him that we both wanted to take the next step and I think he understands now that what we have is the real deal, and he said that although he would prefer it if we waited he understands if we don't, and that all he asks is I am careful and don't do anything I'm not comfortable with" I say._

_Once again there is a silence; "Denise" Josh says his voice is hoarse._

_"Yes" I say._

_"You know I want to make love to you more than anything. I want to be your first and only man, and I want your first time to be perfect and for you not to have any regrets, so I won't rush you Denise I will wait for you forever" he says…_

_My heart melts at his words._

I am brought back to the present, Josh and I are in his bedroom, we are alone at his apartment which he shares with his parents and siblings, everyone else is out and will be for the rest of the day, they have taken his twin sister to her college to get settled in.

We had planned that today was going to be the day, and we have been talking about it for the last hour or so. I can tell Josh is nervous about this and so am I really. Josh lies beside me on the bed and he reaches for a piece of paper and he hands it to me.

"What is this?" I ask.

He smiles "proof I am clean, I am your first but you know I have been with other girls, so I wanted you to know and feel comfortable that I'm not going to give you anything" he says.

I nod, "Did you always use condoms with the others?" I ask.

He nods at me, "Always" he says.

"Are you going to use a condom with me?" I ask.

He looks at me with such love, he pushes my hair out of my face, "if you want me to I will" he says and pulls a box from his drawer and shows them to me.

I shake my head, "I want to feel you Josh, not restricted with a piece of latex between us I want no barrier between us, I am on the pill so we should be alright in that respect" I say.

Josh moves closer, "I want you too and I trust you Denise. I know you wouldn't tell me you are on birth control and not be, I know for a fact you are protected in that respect. I have dreamed of this moment with you, but I won't do anything if you are not completely sure, and if you want me to wear a condom I will" he stops and searches my face.

"I'm ready" I whisper to him, "I want you... bare" I add.

He kisses me, so tenderly and lovingly. I respond to him and move my hands over his body, we are both fully clothed but I know we are going to be naked pretty soon.

Josh sits up and removes his t shirt, my eyes roam over him, he takes care of his body that much is obvious, he grasps my hand and I sit up. He removes my t shirt and my bra and he gasps, his hand moves to my breast and caresses it gently, the touch sends shivers through me. He pushes me back down on to the bed and moves to my jeans unfastening them in an unhurried and seductive manner. I lift my hips to help him and he peels them off me along with my panties. I am totally naked now, he stands and removes his own jeans and briefs and I take him in he is magnificent, his hard penis is curled up towards his stomach bobbing under its own weight, and Josh smiles as I stare at him, he grips his penis in his hand and strokes it gently.

"Do you like what you see?" he asks.

I nod unable to articulate any words I am quite surprised and a little shocked at how big he is and if I am honest that is a little disconcerting.

He looms over me, he pushes my knees apart and settles between them, "We are going to take this slow and steady, we have all the time in the world and this is going to be perfect for both of us" he says earnestly. I just nod, I lick my lips nervously and my mouth has gone completely dry.

"You're so big" I mutter and I see a smug grin appear on his face.

"Thank you" he replies, then it dawns on him why I said that. "I will try not to hurt you too much, I won't lie it will hurt you the first time, but if you say stop we stop alright?" he says.

I nod; I reach for him and touch him he groans and thrusts into my hand. I feel him bury his face into my breast and he rains small sweet kisses on them, then suddenly I feel his tongue on my nipple and its sends a sensation down to my groin. I gasp he licks my nipple while caressing the other with his fingers and I moan he switches and pays my other breast the same attention with his tongue, then slowly he moves down my body leaving a trail of kisses along my stomach until he reaches my thighs, he pushes my legs open wider and buries his head between my legs. I feel him kissing me and touching me, his finger gently circling my clit then his tongue explores, I am practically panting with desire I reach for him and run my hands up and down his arms as that is all I can reach and every time his tongue touches me I moan. He carries on and I hear my moans getting louder, my hips start moving and I grip him.

"Shit Josh" I moan and I feel him smile from between my legs. His tongue keeps probing at me and teasing me until a warm sensation spreads through me and I call out his name, Josh makes his way back up my body and looks at me with such love and adoration.

"Did you like that?" he asks, smiling at me.

I nod unable to say anything, He pauses and grasping himself he positions himself at my opening and looking at me carefully he pushes inside me slightly. I gasp at the feel of him this is it; he pauses and looks at me.

"Are you sure about this?" he asks me and I nod, he pushes in a little more and I feel the slight pulling pain as he pushes a little further inside me, I grip his shoulders and he pauses once more. He is panting and so am I, really want him.

"Just do it quickly" I say.

He nods, "Look at me" he says and I look up into his eyes and as they lock he thrusts his hips and pushes his way in.

My mouth opens with a gasp and he stops and waits watching me carefully. The pain I felt as he breached me starts to recede, but he stays still just watching me, and stroking my hair.

"OK?" he asks after a moment or so, I nod at him and he slowly starts to move. The sensation of him moving inside me is strange; the feeling of him filling me and my internal muscles stretching to accommodate him is alien but really nice. He moves purposefully and slowly making me feel every thrust and roll of his hips, I reach my arms around him and pull him closer urging him deeper and I move my hips to meet him.

"Fuck me, this is good!" he moans in my ear. I grin at him and his words spur me on to move more, I feel him and I can't get enough of him, the discomfort of his initial entry into me has now gone and all I can feel now is pure pleasure. I moan and close my eyes as he speeds up a little his pace getting more urgent as he chases his own release.

"Oh god Dennie, I love you so much" he whispers to me, and the words fill me with a sense of purpose and I thrust my hips upwards meeting his.

"I love you too with all my heart" I pant back.

His pace quickens some more and he touches a spot inside me which sends me wild, I feel that warm feeling in the pit of my stomach once more, and my body starts to build and quiver once again, I feel myself gripping around him tightly as he continues to shove into me and as my orgasm hits me I dig my nails into his back and call out his name. His breathing is now coming out in ragged pants and then he stops, freezing as he throws his head back and closes his eyes momentarily.

"DENISE" he cries as I feel him pulsing and hot spurts erupt inside me. I feel him come inside me still thrusting as he does so and my body grips his greedily, milking him of everything he has.

He buries his head in my neck and collapses on me and I can't move with his weight on me, I can't believe what we have just done, our love for each other manifesting in such a raw beautiful way. I am overcome with the emotion of it and I feel tears leaking from my eyes, Josh feels the dampness and looks at me concern on his face.

"Shit, Dennie are you ok?" he asks.

I smile at him, "That was wonderful!" I say.

He rubs his thumbs over my cheeks, "But you're crying?" he asks in confusion.

"I'm just a little overwhelmed at the moment, but they are happy tears" I assure him. He smiles at me and presses his lips to mine kissing me tenderly and warmly.

"Thank you Dennie" he whispers against my lips.

I stare at him, "What for, you did all the work?" I ask him.

He shakes his head, "No baby in those moments when we both came we became one, it was the most intense and wonderful sexual experience of my life. You blew me away baby we are made for each other" he says.

I realise he is still inside me and I squeeze my inside around him his eyes widen, "Fuck Dennie, you'll make me hard again doing things like that" he moans, I grin wickedly at him.

"You want more baby?" he whispers to me and he moves his hips he moves freely as my inside is slick with his come and mine and I sigh. He brings his lips down to mine and kisses me passionately.

"How about we switch things around a bit?" he asks me.

I stare at him questioningly.

"Hold on baby" he says and gripping me he rolls us so I am on top of him. I scramble slightly so I am sitting on top of him and the sensation is totally different this way, he feels much deeper and I open my mouth as I feel the sensation of him pushing even deeper inside me.

"Ride me baby" he says and he grips my hips urging me to move. I start to move carefully lifting myself up and down the sensation is unreal he is rubbing against different areas inside me and I feel myself building again.

"Oh my god Josh" I moan.

He looks up at me and smiles, "it feels good doesn't it?" he says.

I nod, "I want to always feel like this" I moan.

I move faster and Josh thrusts his hips upwards meeting me thrust for thrust we are both sweaty and hot with the exertion of what we have done and are continuing to do. I feel him thicken and lengthen once more inside me.

"Shit Dennie I'm going to come again!" he gasps.

"So am I" I moan and I continue to move as the warmth spreads through me again and once again I grip him, I still as I can't take any more and he thrusts upwards once more and then he stills gripping my hips and with a moan I feel him empty himself into me again.

I lie on him and he wraps his arms around me kissing me.

I giggle, "I am going to be so sore tomorrow" I whisper to him and I lift my head to look into his face.

I see a look of smug male pride in his eyes, "well that will give you something to remember me" he whispers and kisses me again.

I shake my head, "You're terrible" I say.

He rolls us again still not breaking our connection, "We should go for a shower and get cleaned up" he says.

I nod and I shiver and moan once more as he pulls out of me, I watch intently the sight of him now soft but equally magnificent in size. He holds out his hand to me and I grip it as I stand I feel his semen slick my thighs and I smile.

"Come on lets get cleaned up" he says as he leads me by the hand into the shower.

I felt different when I left Josh that evening, when I returned home I felt phenomenal, the feeling of having Josh inside me and being part of me left me speechless and I felt there was no way how I was feeling at this moment could be hidden and must be showing somehow.

I walked into the penthouse and called out that I was home. My dad came strolling out into the kitchen in his sweats and stopped. He looked at me closely and I felt my cheeks warm.

I saw him stiffen and his jaw tightens, "Dad? What's wrong?" I ask trying to brazen it out.

He looks at me, "your t shirt is inside out" he says curtly.

Well fuck me; I may as well have had a neon sign over my head saying 'just had sex!' I blush and turn to leave and go to my room.

With lightening reactions my father reaches for me and catches my arm and looks anxiously at me, "he treated you properly and with respect and didn't force you to do anything you didn't want to do?" he asks.

I nod and smile, "He was wonderful dad, it was our first time and he made it perfect and I am so happy and glad we did it" I say.

I watch as he visibly struggles with this information before he swallows hard and then nods his head once in understanding. He lets me go and I smile at him, I touch his arm as I watch him try to come to terms with the fact his little girl is now all grown up.

"It's ok dad honestly, I don't regret anything" I say. I watch as his fists clench at his sides, and I walk closer towards him, wrapping my arms around him, I snake them around his waist and squeeze him gently "I'm fine, honestly dad, he made it so special for me" I say.

His arms fold around me, but he is still stiff and silent.

"I love him dad" I continue, and then squeezing him again tightly I add, "But just remember one thing… you will always be the number one man in my life!" I say.

I hear him take a sharp breath in at my words and he pulls me closer.

"Just as long as you are ok and he treated you properly" he says quietly.

"I am and he did" I assure him. I pull away from him and head to my room.

I am reading a book and minding my own business when a short while later my bedroom door opens and Liv pokes her head around it.

"Hi" she says, "Can I come in?" she asks.

I put my book down, "Hi, what's up?" I ask.

Liv comes in and sits on my bed, "What's up with dad, he is really distant and acting a bit weird?" she asks.

I shake my head, "he found out Josh and I had sex today for the first time" I say.

Liv's mouth drops open as she stares at me.

"And you are still alive?" she says.

I smile, "he was very controlled and reasonable about it when we talked, but I think it kind of got to him knowing his little girl is all grown up now" I say.

"How did he find out?" Liv asks.

I snort with laughter, "By the fact I didn't dress myself properly afterwards, when I came home he noticed I had my t shirt on inside out and he guessed something had happened and when he mentioned it my reaction told him everything he needed to know" I say.

Liv's eyes grow bigger, "Wow Dennie" she says.

I shake my head, "He'll get over it" I say flippantly.

"What was it like?" Liv asks the curiosity written all over her face as she shuffles closer.

I stare at her, "It's private and personal and I am not going to discuss it with you" I say firmly, she looks disappointed, I shake my head.

"All I will say is, when you are with the right person who you love with all your heart and you are totally ready to do it, it is a wonderful experience" I say.

**oooOOOooo**

Things are still wonderful between me and Josh and our relationship is going from strength to strength, since our first time we now make love regularly. I know my dad knows we do this, he hasn't said anything since that first night and neither have I but when I tell him I am going to see Josh now he just nods and smiles and tells me to be careful, whereas before he always used to tell me to enjoy myself.

We are back at school now, and I am quite excited to be a senior, I was strolling through the work of the year I was in and it was decided to fast track me to the senior year and graduate early, I can tell my dad is really proud of me for achieving this. I am on track to graduate at the end of this school year and as my dad put it, the world is my oyster. The new security regime is in place and I know Raul and his team are keeping tabs on the deputy principal. I try and avoid her as much as possible and I think she knows we are on to her as everything seems calm and there have been no further incidents of people getting access to the school grounds.

We had hardly been back at school a week or so when a sickness and diarrhoea bug swept through the school. I was so sick for about 3 days I felt like I was dying. We all caught it going down like flies one after the other, even dad was sick and he never gets ill.

"Shit I feel like death" I moan as once again I hug the toilet and heave into it, my father is standing at my side holding my hair as I vomit and he strokes my back gently.

"It's just a bug, you need to keep hydrated and it will pass" he says, that's all very well for him to say, he managed to shake it off in 24 hours, as did Liv, Zoe had it for slightly longer but here I am 3 days along the line and I'm still throwing my guts up.

"You were the last one to get it, the last one always gets the worst" he says with a grin, "If you weren't so damn stubborn and fought it for so long you'd be over it now" he adds.

I stare up at him, "You are not funny you know!" I snap.

"That wasn't my intention" he replies. I sit there for a moment longer until I feel my stomach settling.

"Ok I'm good now" I say as I push unsteadily to my feet. I feel my fathers arm around me as he helps me back to bed. He disappears out of the room only to return a few moments later with a glass of water which he puts down at the side of me, sitting on the bed beside me he pushes my hair from my face and wipes my mouth with damp cloth. He then swaps the cloth for a fresh one and gently wipes it over my entire face, cooling it.

"Does that feel better sweetheart?" he asks me.

"Thank you daddy" I say. He stands and goes to leave my room and I reach for him.

"Thank you for staying with me and taking care of me" I say, he looks at me incredulously.

"You are my daughter Denise, you are sick and you need me, where else would I be?" he says.

I watch him go, I know he is working from home but I must be costing him money by preventing him going into work but he was adamant that until I was well he would be here for me. I settle down and close my eyes, I know this is just a bug and it will pass but I can't help but feel a little sorry for myself.

The next time I open my eyes I see someone sitting in the seat next to my bed.

"Josh!" I gasp as my eyes focus on him.

"Hello baby how are you feeling?" he asks looking at me with concern.

"Rough" I answer honestly. He smiles at my answer.

"Your dad had to go out, so he called me to sit with you in case you needed anything".

I shake my head, "I don't want you to catch this" I say.

"Too late, already had it. It has been through our college and I have had my share of it" he says.

Josh stays with me and helps me as I drink my water and then go and throw up once again.

**oooOOOooo**

Thankfully it soon passed as everyone told me it would. It took me about a week to get my fitness levels back to where they were previously, but here I am over a month down the line and I am feeling distinctly off again, I really hope it's not another bug, and I am not getting sick again, I put it down to my period coming it was due at the weekend and I am surprised it hasn't arrived yet, as since I have been taking the pill it has been like clockwork.

I feel worse and worse but I manage to get through the day, but by the end of the day I feel so tired I want to just curl up and go to sleep. Liv looks at me anxiously as we wait with Davis and Paul our CPO's for Raul to arrive.

"You look like shit Dennie" Liv says.

"Well thank you" I reply sarcastically.

Liv grins "Sorry, but you look really tired" she says.

"I feel it, I've been feeling kind of strange for the past week or so" I say.

"In what way?" she asks.

"I don't know… just off, my boobs are killing me they are so tender and painful and I am so tired all the time, my period hasn't come yet which is odd I mean its been like clockwork since I started using the pill" I stop and look at her, her eyes are wide and I know what she is thinking.

I go through the symptoms I am suffering and it is logical, but how? I'm on the fucking pill, taken to stop this happening, I go into a blind panic and Liv grabs me.

"Calm down and don't over react, you are on the pill so you can't be pregnant" she says.

I nod, "I know, I am religious about it, even when I was sick I didn't forget to take it, even though I probably chucked up or shit the damn thing out" I stop at the realisation of what I have just said. I pull my iphone from my pocket and quickly call up a website with information about the contraceptive pill. I quickly scroll through it and find the section I am looking for, and the words jump out and hit me in the face. '_Bouts of sickness and diarrhoea can reduce the effectiveness of the contraceptive pill resulting in pregnancy if other forms of contraception are not used'._

I show my phone to Liv who goes white as she reads it. "Shit Dennie what are you going to do?" she asks.

I shake my head, my legs turn to jelly and Liv lowers me into a chair. This attracts the attention of our CPO's who walk over to us.

"What's wrong?" Paul asks me.

I shake my head, "Nothing" I say and try and smile at them, Paul frowns and pulls his phone from his pocket glancing at the text he has just received.

"Raul is here" he says.

I gather my things and we make our way to the car. I see Raul ushering Zoe into the car and her CPO, who she is totally oblivious to appears and climbs into the SUV parked up in our car park which our CPO's left this morning. Paul whispers something in Raul's ear and he looks at me.

"Are you sick Dennie?" Raul asks me as he looks at me with obvious concern.

I shake my head, "No" I reply but don't elaborate. I glare at Paul as he and Davis climb into the other SUV.

All the way home Raul keeps looking at me through the rear view mirror making me feel more and more uncomfortable. I am trying to keep my panic and thoughts under control. I need to tell Josh, I am scared. When we get home I call Josh but it goes straight to voicemail and I remember he has an appointment after college today. I grip my phone; I need to talk to someone. I would sooner gouge my eyes out with a spoon than talk to my dad so I opt for Aunty Ireland, I call her but she doesn't answer. Desperation is setting in now and tears start to fall, Aunty Ana is my only hope, so I pick up my phone and place the call to Seattle.

When my aunt picks up I sag with relief. "Hello" she says.

"Aunty Ana" I sob.

"Denise is that you what on earth is the matter?" she asks immediately on alert.

"Oh god, I don't know what to do, dad is going to kill me" I blurt out.

"Calm down darling and talk to me, what has happened?" she says.

"I'm sorry to bother you, I tried Aunty Ireland but she isn't answering, I can't get hold of Josh, I really don't want to bother you with this but I need to talk to someone and I'm so scared" I say.

"Denise whatever it is, just calm down and tell me" my aunt says calmly.

"I think I'm pregnant" I almost whisper.

"Oh" she replies.

"We have been so careful, I am on the pill and I never forgot it or anything, but I got sick last month, sickness and diarrhoea and I have found out that can stop the pill from working properly, and now I am feeling off, my boobs hurt – I mean really hurt, I have been so tired and my period hasn't come when it should" I say and I feel the tears pouring down my cheeks as I open up and spill my guts.

There is a long silence before my aunt speaks again, but when she does her tone of voice comforts me. "Alright, listen to me, first of all you need to calm down and I know you don't want to but you need to talk to your dad" she says.

"But..." I start, as the panic surging through me again at the very thought of telling my dad this.

"No Denise you need to, have you talked to Josh?" she asks.

"No not yet" I reply.

"Ok well you need to tell him first because your dad may over react a little" she says.

"You think!" I say sarcastically.

I hear a small giggle, "Just be thankful Christian isn't your father" she says "Or you would be dealing with much more than a little over reaction".

That makes me smile "I am thankful for small mercies" I say.

"There now, that's the Denise I know" she says, and I realise she was trying to make me feel better.

"Ok, thank you" I say.

"Do you want me to call your father and talk to him?" my aunt asks.

"No, I'll do it, it's my mess" I say, "And thank you" I add.

I kill the call and try Josh again, he picks up and relief almost overwhelms me.

"Josh" I say urgently, before he has even managed to say hello.

"What's wrong?" he asks me.

I burst into tears again, "I think I'm pregnant" I blurt out.

There is a stunned silence for a moment but then he answers, "What?" he stammers.

"I think I'm pregnant, it must have been when I got sick it affected the pill" I explain.

"Shit" he breathes, "Listen, try not to panic. I'll come over now, I'm on my way" he says.

"Thank you" I say and hearing that he is coming calms me more than I thought it would.

"I love you Denise, we will work this out" he says confidently.

Josh arrives a short while later and he holds me tightly he kisses my head and cheek and then his hand goes down to my stomach. "Are you sure or is it still a theory at this stage?" he asks.

I look up at him, "Still a theory, I haven't done a test or anything" I say. He nods at me and reaches into his backpack.

"In which case you'd better do these" he says as he hands me three boxes.

"Three?" I ask.

He shrugs, "I want to be sure" he says.

I head to the bathroom and do what I have to do, and then I lay out the tests and wait. I hear Josh outside the door and I open it and let him in. He holds my hand and I can tell he is scared. I glance at the tests, I am too scared to even think about the results as I look at each one and compare them to the boxes I close my eyes, they are positive - all three of them.

"Well I think that is pretty conclusive" Josh says he wraps his arm around me and kisses me. "We will get through this together. We made this baby with our love and we will work it out" I relax at his words he is so calm.

"My dad is going to freak" I say quietly.

"And mine" he says. "Where is your dad?" he asks.

"At work why?" I reply.

He nods and gripping my hand he leads me from the bathroom. "Because we are going to the lions den" he says.

Raul drives us to the Crossfire I can tell he is desperate to know what is going on but he doesn't say anything. We take the elevator up to the top floor and we head straight to my dads office.

Scott stands and smiles at us as we enter; I glance at my dad's office he is alone at his desk pouring over some paperwork. He looks up and smiles when he sees me but that smile fades as he sees Josh, he stands and beckons us in.

"What's going on?" he asks with no preamble.

"I think you'd better sit down dad" I say.

I grip Josh's hand and he encourages me to speak, I shake my head and he puts his arm around me, pulling me towards him. Taking a deep breath he looks my dad in the eye. "Mr Cross, Denise and I have just discovered that Denise is going to have a baby" he stops and waits for my dad's reaction.

I watch my dad's fists clench and then he springs to his feet, "What?" he snarls.

"Daddy please" I say. I instinctively step in front of Josh and reach for my dad's hand. He yanks it away from me. My father's expression frightens me I have never seen him look so angry, for the first time in my life I am not sure of what my dad is going to do, so I turn to Josh.

"Go, now" I say firmly.

I watch as Josh hesitates but I push him, "Please Josh just go - I have never seen my dad so furious and at this moment I am scared at what he will do" I explain, "I'll be fine he won't hurt me but I'm not so sure about you" I say. Josh kisses me and giving my dad a shot look he walks out.

I walk purposefully towards my father, "Daddy please listen to me" I say. I look up at him pleading with him to listen, to at least look at me and give me some sort of reaction. He is being so cold and distant I can't stand it.

"It must have been when I got sick, it reduced the effectiveness of the pill; I didn't forget to take it ever so that is the only thing I can think of. We didn't plan this, and right now I am scared and I need you" I say willing him to just look at me.

He turns his head but the look on his face upsets me, he is looking at me as if he doesn't know me. "Get out of my office" he says coldly.

"Daddy" I sob, he shakes his head at me.

"I said get out" he says.

I turn to leave, as I reach the door I pause and turn to look at him, "I love you daddy" I say quietly, and it rips me apart when he doesn't answer me.

I go out to Josh who is waiting and I fall into his arms crying. I take a shot look back at my father's office and I see him with his head in his hands and he too is crying bitterly. I want to go back to him, but something tells me not to, a moment later I see his hand reach out and the glass walls frost so he is obscured from my view.

"Come on, he needs time to come to terms with this" Josh says gently, "lets go and tell my dad now" he says.

We head over to the LanCorp offices and Josh leads me to his father's office it's the first time I have been here and it is the same sort of set up as my father has. Mr Landon's office has solid walls and Josh looks in the window of the door and then opens it leading me in. I see Mr Landon at his desk he looks up and standing up he smiles at us as we enter.

"Josh, Denise, what a lovely surprise" he says warmly and I know immediately from the warm reception that my dad hasn't called him yet.

As I am thinking this a voice comes through the intercom, "Mr Landon I have Mr Cross on line one he sounds very upset" I close my eyes, Ryan Landon's smile fades and he looks closely at Josh and then me.

"Would this call have anything to do with your unexpected visit here?" he asks.

I nod, it's Josh's turn now to crumble and I step up and support him as he supported me with my father. "We have just discovered that I am pregnant" I say in a rush. Ryan Landon sits down with a thud shaking his head.

"Oh my god" he breathes.

I ramble on telling him it must have been when I got sick and how I am so sorry. He puts his hand up to silence me.

"Put him through" he says to the person on the intercom, "Cross how are you?" he says as the call is connected, a moment later I hear my father's voice coming through the speaker.

"Landon, Cross here your piece of shit son has ruined my daughters life" he snarls.

I feel anger surge through me and I step towards the phone, "Daddy don't you dare!" I shout, "It takes two people to make a baby, and we are both equally responsible for this I won't have you lashing out at Mr Landon it's not his fault. It's nobody's fault it just happened" I say. There is silence for a moment then I hear my father speak with icy control.

"We need to talk Denise, so go home now" he says.

I shake my head quite forgetting that he can't see me, "I came to talk to you at your office and you pushed me away. Josh and I came to you, we tried to talk to you but you didn't want to know, I pleaded with you to listen to me and you rejected me and told me to get out so I did" I say. Josh touches my arm.

"Come on Dennie this is hard for him do as he asks" he says, I hear my father's sharp intake of breath and I know he heard what Josh said.

Ryan Landon steps up to speak, "Look lets bring this down a little, everyone is upset about this, it will do no good to throw insults and accusations and end up saying something regretful. Cross, we need to support these kids, what has happened has happened and it wasn't deliberate, it was a genuine mistake. Josh, take Denise home now please and we will talk later. Denise, please sweetheart don't get so upset your dad is naturally upset about this, don't crucify him for loving you and wanting what's best for you, he is lashing out at the moment because this has hurt him. I'm a dad and this has knocked me for six if I was your father I don't know what I'd do, I would probably do exactly what your father is doing. Do as he asks, go home and wait for him" he pauses.

Josh takes my hand, "Come on baby" he says gently.

"Wait" I say my voice breaking I go towards the phone.

"Daddy, I'm sorry, I didn't mean for this to happen, and I love you so please don't hate me" I say.

I think he's not going to answer and I shake my head and turn to leave, "I don't hate you" comes the shaky response down the line.

Mr Landon takes the phone off of speaker and speaks to my dad, "She's going now, you are no longer on speaker, look I'm as shocked about this as you are, but I know my boy and my boy loves her and he won't abandon her" he says. I smile at him and leave the office.


	13. Chapter 13

CHAPTER 13

**(GIDEON)**

"Get out of my office" I don't recognise my own voice. I am reeling, the rug has been pulled from under me, and I need to get my daughter away from me before I do or say something I will regret. My emotions are all over the place at this moment and I am feeling totally out of control and I just don't trust myself to be able to do the right thing, so she needs to go while I get my head around this.

Pregnant! I can't believe it, she is sixteen fucking years old, she is a child herself, ok she is mature for her age, but is she mature enough to take on parental responsibility? I stop thinking of how she stepped up when Eva died, of course she is as she did just that with her sisters when I fell apart and she was just twelve years old at the time. She has already proved she can handle this; it's me who doesn't want to believe this, who can't deal with this.

I feel overwhelming anger towards Josh, he did this and then the more reasonable part of me tells me that it takes two to make a baby. My mind goes back in time to when Eva told me she was pregnant with Denise. She was terrified that I would freak and leave her, but I was overjoyed, but the difference was I was 28 fucking years old and Eva was 24. Denise on the other hand is 16, a child still at school, and she is so bright she has so much promise she has the world at her feet, but this has the potential to destroy her life and dreams.

I vaguely hear Denise trying to get my attention. "Daddy" she sobs.

I can't deal with this. I need to get a hand on all these emotions and feelings before I can say or do anything constructive so I shake my head at her.

"I said get out" I say again, I know she needs me but at this moment I need to be alone I need to think this through.

I watch as my daughter turns and leaves as she reaches the door she pauses and looks at me once more "I love you daddy" she whispers but I don't reply.

As the door closes I bury my head in my hands and weep. I reach for the controls on my desk and frost the glass walls I don't need anyone seeing me like this. I allow myself a moments self pity and then I take a deep breath. How the fuck do I handle this? So far I've done a cracking job, my daughter who is pregnant practically pleaded with me to acknowledge her and I just pushed her away, I abandoned her. I am no better than Jenny's father at this moment and look how that turned out.

"FUCK!" I scream and I push the contents of my desk to the floor.

I stare at the mess and push my hands through my hair. I have no idea what to do, "Eva I fucking need you right now!" I say out loud the tears still pouring down my cheeks.

I pace around the room, I punch the wall and throw my chair across the room then I stop I have never lost control like this before. I stare around my office I need to talk to someone, someone who will understand, but who? The answer comes to me in a rush. Christian, he will understand he is a father and he will also understand from the perspective of what happened to his mother, although I have no doubt Josh will stand by Denise and won't treat her the way Christian's mother was treated by our father.

I search through the debris on the floor for my cell phone and picking it up I call my brother.

"Grey" is the curt greeting.

"Christian, its Gideon, is this a bad time; I really need to talk to you?" I ask.

"Sorry bro, I didn't look at the screen before I answered, what's up?" he asks in a warmer tone.

I let out a harsh ragged breath, "I have just been told I am to be a grandfather" I say.

"What?" Christian replies and the shock of what I have just told him is evident.

"Denise is pregnant" I say, the words catching in my throat as I say them.

"Fuck" he replies.

"Quite" I say. I hesitate a moment and then continue to speak desperate for him help me.

"I need some advice bro; I have no idea how to handle this. I'm drowning here; I have just treated her like a fucking stranger. I pushed her way, she was pleading with me to listen to her and show her some god damn compassion and I just told her to get out" I say.

"How long has she been sexually active? Did you even know that she was?" he asks.

"A couple of months or so maybe more" I say, "they were still on summer vacation the first time they did it, I found out when she came home it was so damned obvious. Apart from the fact she had her clothes on inside out, she had that bright eyed flushed look women get after sex" I say. "She admitted it and she assured me they were sensible and he did nothing she didn't want him to, I got over it eventually and accepted the fact my baby girl was growing up. A month or so ago she got sick, we all did, it was a bad sickness bug and it appears that is when it occurred as she is on the pill and the illness reduced its effectiveness, it was nobodies fault as such but the fact is it happened" I wait for some kind of response.

"Did you know she was taking the contraceptive pill?" Christian asks.

I sigh, "yes, that was another huge fuck up on my part; she had been on it for a while as she was struggling with her cycle and she had gone to Ireland and asked for her help. Ireland took her to a doctor who prescribed the pill as it is known to help regulate cycles. I found them in her room and freaked out thinking she was having sex. She explained to me in detail why she had them and I was left feeling like an asshole". I hear a snort of laughter, "it's not funny" I snap.

"No, sorry it's not" Christian says apologetically.

I hear him sigh, "Look I don't know what to say, if Phoebe came to me and told me she was pregnant I dread to think what my reaction would be, but if it's any consolation she was being responsible and nature found a way. I really can't believe I just said that – it was far too reasonable and accepting" he pauses, I know he is trying to make me feel better he continues to speak, "Look, bottom line is there is fuck all you can do about it as it's happened but don't turn your back on her. Please, I beg you don't do that, my mother was disowned and look what happened to her. Is the father Josh Landon?" he asks.

"Yes, he is, and at this moment I want to fucking kill him, but I also know he won't abandon her, he came with her to tell me, in fact she broke down and it was Josh who told me" I say and then I stop and shake my head.

"He struck me as a decent boy" Christian says reasonably.

"He is" I reluctantly admit "But that's just it he's a boy, they are both children" I say.

"Look for what its worth, just talk to her. She made me see how important it is to talk and Phoebe and I are doing brilliantly now, our relationship has gone from strength to strength since Denise intervened. She is a smart girl, she will make the correct choices, just be there to guide her and listen to her" Christian says, "and for gods sake don't shut her out, as she needs you like she has never needed you before" he adds.

"Thank you" I say quietly, "I suppose I should call Landon and break the news to him" I say.

"Good luck with that… why don't you use him to vent, make him feel as bad as you do" he says.

I smile at that thought, I am still roiling inside I want to lash out at someone, and Landon appears to be the perfect choice and I am small enough to take pleasure from that thought. "Thanks for the pep talk bro" I say.

"Any time" he replies. I kill the call and call Landon at his office. I wait to be connected which takes a few moments which irritates me. I am desperately spoiling for a fight with someone. Eventually I hear his voice.

"Cross how are you?" he says as the call is connected. I feel all the turbulence inside me, the anger, pain and despair surge forward towards the surface.

"Landon, Cross here, your piece of shit son has ruined my daughter's life" I spit.

He doesn't answer immediately but then I go cold as I hear my daughters angry voice on the line, shit she is there, they went to tell him? You stupid fucking asshole of course they did! Were you any use as a supportive parent? – No you weren't, so of course they would go to him.

"Daddy don't you dare!" she shouts, "It takes two people to make a baby, and we are both equally responsible for this I won't have you lashing out at Mr Landon it's not his fault, its nobody's fault it just happened" she says.

I close my eyes, I am fucking this up completely. I gather my thoughts and with as much control as I can muster I speak to my daughter.

"We need to talk Denise, so go home now" I say.

"I came to talk to you at your office and you pushed me away. Josh and I came to you, we tried to talk to you but you didn't want to know, I pleaded with you to listen to me and you rejected me and told me to get out so I did" she says bitterly. I close my eyes again she thinks I don't love her, I can almost picture her defiant pose shouting into the phone.

Then I hear Josh's voice, "Come on Dennie this is hard for him so do as he asks" he says, I take in a sharp breath, he is being so reasonable about this despite what I have just called him.

I hear Ryan Landon's voice, "Look lets bring this down a little, and everyone is upset about this. It will do no good to throw insults and accusations and end up saying something regretful. Cross, we need to support these kids, what has happened has happened and it wasn't deliberate, it was a genuine mistake. Josh, take Denise home now please and we will talk later. Denise, please sweetheart don't get so upset your dad is naturally upset about this, don't crucify him for loving you and wanting what's best for you. He is lashing out at the moment because this has hurt him. I'm a dad and this has knocked me for six if I was your father I don't know what I'd do, I would probably do exactly what your father is doing. So do as he asks, go home and wait for him". He pauses and I hear Josh's voice again.

"Come on baby" he says gently.

I hear my daughter's heartbroken voice once more, "Wait" she says.

"Daddy, I'm sorry, I didn't mean for this to happen, and I love you, please don't hate me" she pleads. That swipes away what self control I have left and my hands start to shake violently. I try and compose myself to answer her to tell her I love her and that I'm sorry, but the words just don't come out. Eventually all I can get out are a few words.

"I don't hate you" I say cringing at how shaky my voice sounds. I hear a click and I assume the phone has been taken off speaker which I am grateful for.

I hear Ryan Landon's voice it is kind and understanding but at this moment I hate him for being everything I should be. "She's going now, you are no longer on speaker, look I'm as shocked about this as you are, but I know my boy and he loves her and he won't abandon her" he says.

I sigh, "I know, he is a good person, and I'm sorry for what I said" I say.

"Don't mention it, you are reeling from some pretty devastating news. I must admit I'm pretty gutted too, but what is done is done. We can't change it, we have two frightened and confused kids who need our support right now" he says.

"I'm going to go and talk to my daughter now" I say quietly.

"Alright" he says, "I am going to talk to Josh tonight as well, see where his head is at, then I suggest we all get together for a discussion later on?" he suggests.

Once again part of me hates him for being so reasonable about this, but I agree. I talk a few moments longer and then I leave the office to go home and talk to Denise.

I walk into my apartment and the first thing I see is Zoe sitting at the table she is drawing and she looks a picture of contentment, she has her headphones on and she is listening to her music. I pause and smile as I watch her, she is still so innocent. I wish I could keep them like this, innocent and carefree. I shrug out of my jacket and tugging my tie loose I open my collar and walk towards my youngest daughter, pressing a kiss to her head as I pass her. She looks up at me and gives me a beautiful smile and my breath catches as I see it.

"Hi daddy" she says brightly pulling out her headphones.

"Hello pumpkin what are you doing?" I ask.

She shows me her picture. My youngest daughter is always happiest when she is drawing, I have a feeling she will be heading down the art route. I take it from her and look at it, it is a picture of a horse in a field and it is good, very good.

"Wow, this is really good" I say smiling back at her. She grins but then it fades slightly and I know why when she speaks.

"Daddy, something is wrong with Dennie. She has locked herself in her room and she is crying and she won't talk to anyone" she says the concern obvious in her voice.

"Is she? Well thank you for telling me I will go and talk to her right now" I say with forced brightness.

I leave my youngest daughter and head towards the bedrooms where I walk into Liv who is coming out of Dennie's room.

"How is she?" I whisper.

"It's bad, she is saying that she doesn't know what to do for the best she said she doesn't want to have to choose between a relationship with her father and her baby," she looks at me accusingly as she says this and I know Dennie has probably told her more than she is letting on. "She also said she isn't even sure she wants the baby and she feels guilty for feeling that way" she adds almost as an afterthought.

I reach out to Liv and touch her shoulder, "Thank you for being there for her, she doesn't have to chose I'm going to talk to her now and whatever she decides to do I will support her and love her" I say. I see Liv relax and she smiles at me and walking towards me she hugs me.

"I told her you would help her and wouldn't disown her. I said you would know what to do" she says, and I swallow hard, my fourteen year old daughter has more faith in me than I have in myself, I just hope it isn't misplaced.

I ease Olivia away from me and knock on Dennie's door, without waiting for a reply I open the door and step inside.

"Denise" I say quietly. I look at her and see her curled up on the bed in a ball used tissues scattered around her, I can't help but notice she has her hand resting protectively over her stomach.

I walk uneasily towards her, she hasn't even acknowledged the fact I am here, but it's no more than I deserve after the way I behaved earlier. I hesitate a moment and then step closer.

"May I sit down?" I ask quietly.

She shrugs, "It's your house" she says coldly. I ignore her harsh tone and I sit down on the bed beside her.

"Don't worry, I'll be out of your hair as soon as I can" she says with an odd detached calm.

Fear streaks through me, what is she saying? I look and I see a packed duffle bag lying on her floor.

"Do you want to leave?" I ask her carefully.

She shakes her head, "No, but you are obviously disgusted by me so I think it will be best all round if I just go, it will save you the pain of throwing me out" she says.

"NO!" I snap loudly.

She jumps at the shout and stares at me, I feel my hands ball into fists.

"God damn it Denise you are my daughter and I love you. I behaved badly and I'm sorry, it was a fucking shock ok. I never expected those words ever and I'm sorry, I'm sorry I pushed you away and I'm sorry I failed you" I stop and I stare at her. She gazes at me her eyes wide and shocked at my outburst so I take a deep breath and reach out holding my hand out to her.

She looks at me and sits up, but she still keeps her distance, so I withdraw my hand.

"What are you going to do?" I ask her, she looks down at her fingers and shrugs.

"I have no idea; if I am totally honest I don't want a baby. Not yet and not for a long while. Josh loves me I know that much I also know he will support whatever I decide to do. I want a career, go to college and see the world before I settle down, is that selfish of me? It's not this baby's fault I fucked up. The doctor told me that certain things could affect the pill, but I forgot… no, that's not true. I didn't really pay attention to that part as when I was given them it wasn't for that use. It didn't apply so I disregarded it. I made a mistake and now I am paying for it, please don't blame Josh daddy he has always said he would wear a condom when we made love but I said no because I didn't think we needed to and now I am paying the price for that decision and for disregarding professional advice. I don't want my unborn baby to have to pay for my mistakes though" I listen to what she says and I realise this was a genuine mistake based on a technical failure and there is really nobody to blame for it.

My attention is brought back to Denise as she continues to speak, "Tell me what to do daddy" she says helplessly and she looks at me as she says it and at this moment she looks like a little girl again. A frightened and confused little girl, I forget sometimes how young she is as she is always so stoic and mature. I don't hesitate and I reach for her and pull her close.

"I was going to say the same thing to you, as I have no idea how to handle this - as you have probably noticed. I want to be there for you and I will support whatever you decide to do, I can't make that decision for you though, that is something you and Josh have to decide yourselves" I pause my mind slipping into CEO mode.

I take a deep breath and start to speak. "The way I see it is you have four options. Option one you give up your ambition and dreams and have the baby and become a full time mom. Option two you treat this as a huge mistake and rectify that mistake by erasing it. You have an abortion and try and forget it" I feel her stiffen at this but I press on.

"I don't mean to sound callous but essentially that is what you would be doing. Option three, you go through with the pregnancy and then give the baby up for adoption after you give birth, or finally Option four you keep the baby but try to continue to pursue the ambitions you have, this is the hardest option and it would be very difficult and damned hard work, but we have the financial resources for you to try and do that if you want to, but you would have to make sacrifices and compromises to give your child and your ambition the equal attention they both deserved".

I stop and wait for her reaction, but she remains silent "What does Josh say?" I ask when she doesn't say anything.

She sighs, "He said he will support me with whatever I decide to do, but I know this was never on his radar, not yet. He said he wants to marry me some day and that he loves me but he has ambitions too and I don't want stop him from achieving them" she says.

She looks up at me sadly, "as awful as it sounds and as selfish as I feel for even considering it I can't help but think the best option would be to terminate the pregnancy, but then the question is can I live with myself if I do so?" She snuggles closer and continues to speak, "When Jenny told me she was pregnant it seemed the obvious logical choice for her to terminate, due to the circumstances of that baby's conception. I mean she was raped, but my baby although a mistake was made with love, and that is what I am having trouble reconciling. I mean I am probably feeling just as afraid and confused as she did by the prospect of having a baby – but I have the support and love of my baby's father whereas she was obviously completely fucked up by what had happened to her, that and the fact her dad was a complete asshole" she looks up at me.

I sigh and stroke her hair, "I kind of behaved like an asshole too, and I am sorry that I did" I say quietly, "I pushed you away when you needed me. I want you to know I didn't mean to and..." she looks up at me.

"Dad, it's ok. You weren't an asshole you just freaked out, there is a difference and I get it" she says, she looks at the bag on the floor. "I guess I did too, if I had just taken a moment to think things through. I should have known you wouldn't have disowned me and that you would help and support me. Liv tried to tell me you would, but in that moment I just didn't see it" she stops as there is a knock at the door and she sits up.

"Hello" she calls.

Liv pokes her head inside, "Josh is here with his dad" she says.

I smile at her, "Thank you sweetheart we are just coming, offer them a drink will you?" I ask she nods and disappears. I turn to Denise, "Do you want to do this or shall I send them away?" I ask.

She looks at me and smiles, "No lets go and talk this through, and you never know they may have some more options!" she says.

We walk into the sitting room where Josh and his father are sitting making small talk with Liv, she has given them both a drink and they both stand as we enter and I hold my hand to Josh, I feel the need to make amends for my behaviour earlier.

"Josh, I want to apologise for my reaction earlier, I'm not proud of the way I behaved" I say.

He nods and waves his hand dismissively, "It was quite understandable sir" he says simply.

I gesture for them to sit down and Liv stands to leave. "I'll go and sit with Zoe for a while" she says as she leaves us. I nod and smile thanking her as she leaves.

Ryan Landon leans forward placing his glass on the table, he clasps his hands in front of him, "So..." he begins, "I think we need to talk about what happens here" he says carefully.

Josh leans forward and interrupts his father, "Look, I am equally responsible for this and I just want to make it clear I won't turn my back on you Denise, I love you with all my heart, and if you decide to keep the baby I will marry you as soon as legally possible" I watch Denise gasp at his words and she shakes her head.

"No, I can't ask you to do that" she gasps.

Josh nods firmly "You are not asking me to, I am offering. I love you Denise I have told you that repeatedly and the child you are carrying is mine and therefore I want him or her to bear my name" he says.

Denise looks at him, "I haven't even decided yet whether or not I am keeping it" she says.

Josh sits back slightly stunned by these words, "you are considering an abortion?" he asks.

Denise nods, "I am, I know it's selfish and my... our baby didn't ask to be conceived but it's not the right time I don't want a child – not yet. I want to go to college and have a career and be settled before I even consider starting a family. I'm only 16, I haven't had chance to experience life yet" she stops.

Josh looks at her, "Ok" he says, but I can tell by the tone of his voice he isn't on board with this. I look at Ryan Landon and he is staring at his son and I can see he is thinking the same thing.

"Josh talk to me son" Landon says quietly.

Josh looks across at his father, "I know it's the wrong time, I know Dennie is only 16, but the fact is she is having a baby and it's my baby too, don't I have any say in whether or not my baby lives or dies? Do we even have the right to make that decision, aren't we playing god with human life by saying that just because we fucked up, an innocent baby has to die?" he stops and Denise stares at him, her face hardens.

"Josh, do you have to go through a pregnancy, do you have to give birth, do you have to give up your dreams and ambitions in life to care for a baby which you don't really want?" she pauses, "I feel terrible for thinking this way, I feel selfish and I feel that if I do terminate I will consider myself a murderer, but on the other hand I also know I am not ready to be a mother, I had a taste of that sort of responsibility when my mother died and my sisters turned to me".

I put my head down feeling ashamed as I hear her say this, Denise notices and reaches for me and holds my hand, "Don't daddy, it wasn't your fault you were grieving for mom, you were struggling and we have long since resolved what happened during that time, but I was twelve years old and the fact is I became a surrogate mom to my sisters, and if that experience taught me anything its that I don't want it again not for a long while. I want to be a teenager, I want to experience life and all it has to offer before I settle down and I know deep down if I go through with this there will be a point in my life where I will resent the fact I have done it and that won't be fair on you it won't be fair on me and it definitely won't be fair on our child. Another point to consider is it isn't even a baby at this stage, it's a bunch of cells… shit I am so confused. I just want things to be how they were before this afternoon" she stops and I can't stand this any more so I step in.

"Look, Denise is clearly distressed about this, I think we should leave this for tonight emotions are running high and everything is just too raw. Denise knows what her options are but the fact is it is her body and she has to make the decision what is best for her, not only for her life choices but for her emotional wellbeing" I stop and Denise looks at me gratefully.

I see Ryan Landon smile and he turns to Josh who is scowling. "Josh I have to agree with him, you can't force your wishes on to Denise, if she isn't ready to be a mother no amount of pressure from you will alter that fact. Financially speaking you two are in a more fortunate position than most teenagers who find themselves in this situation, as I am prepared to lay out whatever resources you both need, and I'm sure Gideon is as well?" he looks at me questioningly and I nod. "But, this _is_ a life changing decision; it is one which affects the rest of your lives so it has to be the right one, not for me, not for Gideon but for you and definitely for Denise".

Josh nods, "I realise that" he says quietly, "I just don't like the idea of abortion" he adds.

Denise lets go of my hand and reaches for Josh. "I know and I feel exactly the same way, and that is why I am struggling with this so much. I know that I am not ready to be a mother but do I condemn this unborn baby to death because of that?" she shakes her head, "I suppose there is always adoption, but considering our families I really don't think that would be wise" she says.

"Why?" Josh asks looking at her.

She stares at him incredulously, "Oh come on Josh surely you aren't even that naïve. My dad is a multi billionaire; he is in the top 30 richest people in the world. He is a globally recognisable figure, and that is before we even start on our extended family. My grandfather and Uncle Christopher own a successful music label known throughout the USA and my other uncle, well…" she lets out a small laugh. "Uncle Christian is as notorious as my dad; he is a multi billionaire and a successful globally recognisable businessman. Then we have your family, your father owns his own successful company which is a globally recognised brand and he is rich, successful and also known for taking on Microsoft in a legal battle and coming out on top which rarely happens if ever and which gave him notoriety in the business world. If we were to give up our child for adoption there would inevitably be someone who would take great pleasure in leaking that information to the media and it would be a complete feeding frenzy. That child would be hounded their entire life and I can just imagine the angle. Not only that, how would that child feel knowing that with such privilege and lack of the burden of financial difficulties usually associated with situations like ours we thought that little of him or her that we gave them up? That would fuck anyone's head up". She stops speaking and I stare at her, astonished that she had even considered that aspect, and in that moment I realise my daughter is far more mature than I ever gave her credit for.

I watch Josh consider what she has said, and he nods, "You're right I didn't think of that" he says.

Denise stands and walks into the kitchen "I need a drink does anyone else want one?" she asks as she walks away, there are murmurs of no thank you and as she disappears a silence descends on the room.

"What do you want her to do?" Josh asks me suddenly.

I look up at him, and I shake my head, "I truly have no idea" I say honestly, "all I want is for my daughter to be happy, that is all I have ever wanted but I will say this, yes you are this baby's father Josh and I acknowledge the fact you are willing to step up and take responsibility but if Denise decides that it isn't a responsibility that she wants, we need to respect that and honour her decision. Yes you will be there to offer her support, but you wont actually be the one going through what she will have to go through, and believe me Josh I was there throughout all Eva's pregnancies and its not an easy thing for women to go though. I was there to witness the birth of all my children and it tore me apart to see Eva go through what she did to bring them into the world. Childbirth isn't a walk in the park, even in this day and age there are real risks involved both to the mother and the baby, and those risks I would assume are greater when the mother is a child herself" I pause and I see Josh's sceptical look.

I stare at him, "for example, there were serious complications when Denise was born and if it wasn't for the quick thinking of my brothers aunt who delivered her and my two brothers who followed her instructions to the letter Denise would not be here now, she would have died, and I was there the night my sister in law suffered a miscarriage, my brother nearly lost his wife as well as his child that night it was horrendous, so I know what I am talking about" I say.

I stop talking as Denise returns with a glass of lemonade. I realise she was longer than was actually necessary for what she had to do and wonder if she was listening to what I was saying.

She sits down, "I want to sleep on this" she says looking around. "I want to consider all my options carefully, and decide what is best for me, for Josh and for the baby" she says. Everyone nods in agreement and Ryan Landon stands up, he leans towards Dennie and embracing her he kisses her cheek.

"You are strong smart girl and whatever you decide we will support you" he says.

_The next morning..._

I am sitting drinking my coffee in the kitchen when Liv walks in ready for school, closely followed by Zoe. I look up and smile, before I can say anything Zoe pipes up.

"Morning daddy, I think Dennie is sick again, she is throwing up in the bathroom" she says.

I glance at Liv who nods, I rise to my feet and go to the small bathroom and as I approach I hear her wretching. I open the door and she is on her knees her head bent over the toilet bowl, I stride towards her and hold her hair back.

She looks around at me as I kneel down beside her.

"I used to sit like this with your mother when she suffered with morning sickness" I say quietly.

"Well you won't have to do it with me, as I've made my decision" she says calmly, I wait as she wretches again.

When she has finished she wipes her mouth and turns to me, "I'm going to terminate, I don't feel good about myself for doing it but for what I want in life a baby just doesn't come into the equation. There is also the fact to consider I want to graduate this year, I am not even supposed to be a senior yet and considering the stick I have received from the seniors that I have only been fast tracked because of who you are this will only give them more ammunition".

I stare at her, "Denise, please don't make this sort of decision based on the infantile comments of others. You were fast tracked because you are damn smart girl and you deserve to be there" I say.

She nods at me, "Exactly, so I need to make sure I am there, which I won't be if I am taking time out to have a baby. I need to prove that the school made the right decision, plus I want to graduate early I want the opportunity's that will afford me, which I won't be able to exploit with a baby in tow. No as selfish as this sounds, I don't want to be a mother yet". She looks at me and I see a new sadness in her eyes as she says this, she is struggling with this decision I can tell that much, so I do the only think I can think of, I hug her.

"I accept your decision and I am right by your side I will support you every step of the way" I say firmly.

"Thank you daddy" she replies.

Eventually she gets off the bathroom floor and goes to call Josh and tell him of her decision. I hover in the doorway as she dials his number she looks up at me and holds out her hand to me. I walk towards her and pull her into my arms as she raises her phone to her ear.

"Hi Josh, I'm just calling because I wanted to let you know that I've made my decision...yeah I am...I know that, but it really is for the best as far as I can see...yeah...ok I'll talk to you later...I love you too, bye" she hangs up and looks at me.

"He's not happy" she says sadly, "I can tell, he said he will support my decision but I think he wanted to get married and play happy families and I'm just not ready for any of that" she says.

"He'll come around" I say trying to think of something reassuring to say.

"Well I guess I'd better find a reputable abortion clinic" she says pulling away from me. I look at her.

"I'll do that for you" I say, and she hugs me and smiles gratefully.

"Thank you daddy" she says.

"Well I'd better get ready for school then" she says with a forced brightness, I watch her and I am torn I have no idea how to handle this, do I stay or do I go, she makes the decision for me.

"Dad, can you go and ask Liv if she has my purple sweater as I can't find it?" she asks.

I know this is just an excuse to get rid of me but I grasp it willingly and nodding I go in search of Olivia.

_Later that day at school..._

**(DENISE)**

"Denise Cross please pay attention!"

This is the third time I have been called out for day dreaming. I return my attention back to the lesson; I had received a text from Josh he is meeting me at lunchtime to talk.

The bell rings and we all gather up our things, I make my way outside and spot Josh hovering by the gate. I run up to him and he bends to kiss me.

"Hey baby" he says.

"Hey yourself, how are you?" I ask.

He nods, "Coming to terms with it" he says, "I talked to my dad again after we spoke this morning and he made me realise it probably is for the best, we are not old enough to be parents. You are mature enough and you will make a brilliant mom but you know yourself well enough to know that you don't want it yet and I respect that" I get the feeling he is saying what I want to hear, but I don't care and at this moment I accept it.

"Let's grab some lunch" he says brightly, wrapping his arm around me. I sense movement behind me and see Paul watching us.

"We are going to the deli for lunch" I tell him and he nods, and follows us at a discreet distance.

As we walk away, Josh pulls me closer, "Dennie, who did you tell about the baby?" he asks suddenly.

I look up at him in surprise, "Just you, Liv and our father's, why?" I ask.

"It's just I got a weird phone call this morning" he says.

"From who?" I ask.

"They didn't say, someone called and just said that they knew I'd knocked you up and that you were a slut and that did I realise you had tried to trap me and that I would be better off without you and to get out now before it was too late. It was kind of crazy, if I didn't know any better I'd say it was Mike, but I changed my number" he says.

I think carefully, I was at school when I was discussing it with Liv what if someone had overheard, or listened in, god I sound paranoid, but then a thought occurs to me.

"Josh, did anyone see you buying the pregnancy tests?" I ask.

He stares at me, and realisation dawns on his face, "Mike's sister was in there with her baby getting some things, and she saw me because she was also getting a pregnancy test. It didn't register at the time who she was as I was reeling from what you had told me and I was concentrating on getting the tests for you, but that doesn't explain how he has my number?"

"Who knows, anyone could have given it to him" I say.

He considers this and nods. We head to a deli and sit down in the outside seating area; Paul takes a seat at a nearby table and just watches me carefully. I tell Josh I will go and order as I need to use the bathroom. He nods and fishes his wallet out of his pocket and hands me some money. As I go to go inside Paul stands to follow me.

"Sit your ass down, I'm going for a pee and I really don't need you following me there!" I say sharply.

Paul hesitates and then lowers himself back down into the seat, his eyes never leaving me.

I go inside and use the bathroom, when I come out lounging in the corridor is Mike. I stop dead, he stares at me and stepping closer I freeze and get ready to attack him if he tries anything. I am now really wishing I had not prevented Paul from accompanying me. I wonder why Mike wasn't seen coming in and then I realise he probably came in the back way from the alley and it crosses my mind wondering if he has been watching and following us.

He leans towards me and whispers in my ear, "I heard you are going to be a mommy, fancy trapping a fine man like Josh with a cheap trick like that" he says.

I don't say a word, he reaches down and rubs his hand against his trousers unzipping them, "by the way, all my equipment still works just fine, wanna see?" he says pulling out his penis and stroking it. I shove him away, and he grabs my wrist.

"Josh was my friend and you turned him against me. I loved him and you took him from me" he says. I am stunned, I can't believe what I am hearing, what the fuck is he saying? "I loved him and I wanted him, but you just had to come along and fuck it up, and I want him back".

"Soon got over Jenny then?" I retort.

He looks disgusted at that, "she was business, she was revenge, and she was a message to her father for stealing my mom away from me, nothing more. After being with her I now know that I don't like girls really and my daddy showed me men are better. I'm going to be your worst nightmare, I am going to get Josh back I'll make him want me he will come back to me" he says.

I recoil in horror, and I feel physically sick he is more twisted and damaged than I had ever imagined. Before I can say anything else he turns zipping himself up and is gone down the corridor and out into the alley.

I rush outside and Josh stands as soon as I see him I run into his arms.

"What is it? What happened?" he asks.

I glance at Paul and he is immediately by my side, I recount everything and Paul frowns.

"I should have gone in with you, that is the last time you pull rank like that wherever you go I am beside you, got it?" he says I nod at him, and watch as he pulls out his phone and calls Raul and I feel kind of guilty as he explains how it happens, and watch as he pulls the phone away from this ear, I can hear Raul yelling, so I reach for his phone and yank it from his hand and speak into it.

"Hey don't yell at him, it's my fault Raul. I didn't want him coming with me to the bathroom, for gods sake surely even you can see how weird that is, so shout at me if you are going to have a go at anyone!" I snap.

"Dennie, you don't understand, he has strict instruction to ignore whatever you ask him if it means leaving you unguarded. You do realise you have probably just cost him his job?" he says.

I think quickly, "No I haven't, because if you fire him I will never co-operate with security again" I threaten.

"Dennie that isn't my decision, yes I agree Paul had a lapse of judgement and yes I kind of understand you didn't want him following you to the bathroom but I have to inform your dad about what happened today and he will ask how you came to be unguarded in a public place, and I will have to tell him".

I look at Paul and then quickly decide what I am going to do.

"So I have to have security follow me into public bathrooms?" I say.

There is a pause before he answers, "No, he would have waited outside the bathroom for you, which is where you were accosted by Mike Foster" he says.

"You must have misunderstood what Paul told you Raul, Mike was IN the bathroom" I lie.

"Dennie I know you are lying to me" Raul says.

"I am telling you my version of events, what you choose to believe and tell my father is up to you" I retort.

I hear Raul sigh, "Ok Dennie you made your point, it was your doing and I can see how embarrassing it is for you have someone follow you to the bathroom but can you see why that protocol is in place?" he asks.

"I can and I won't question it again if you tell my dad my version of events" I say smugly.

I hear Raul curse under his breath, "Fine!" he snaps. "Just don't do it again but I will say this, Paul made a serious error of judgement and I will be ripping him a new one for that" he says.

I grin, "Thanks Raul, you're the best" I say.

"And you are a master manipulator!" Raul says affectionately.

I hand the phone back to Paul who is looking worried; he puts it to his ear hesitantly, and see him flinch a few times. "Yes Raul I understand" he says eventually and then he hangs up.

"I'm sorry I got you in trouble" I say to him.

"No I should have come in with you, it was my error, but thank you for saving my job" he says.

"Yeah well, it was the least I could do. Look I won't question you again or put you in that position again" I say.

I turn to Josh, "You should tell your dad about Mike, he is one fucked up son of a bitch" I say.

We quickly have some lunch and then Josh walks me back to school.

"We didn't get chance to talk" I say looking up at him.

"Never mind we have all the time in the world, we can discuss it later" he says. He touches my cheek and presses a kiss to my lips.

I wrap my arms around him and deepen the kiss, and he moans his hands moving down my body.

Pulling away he gasps at me, "I think we need to stop this now, considering we are in public" he says with a grin.

I grin back, "Just letting you know how much I love you" I say.

He pushes my hair back "I love you too" he says and with that he turns and leaves.


	14. Chapter 14

CHAPTER 14

I am lying on my bed at home; thinking over everything that happened today, my dad tore a strip off me for refusing to allow Paul to accompany me to the bathroom. He saw straight through my lie that Mike was _in_ the bathroom, and I realise now that as soon as Raul told him about the incident he would have accessed the security cameras of the deli somehow and found out the truth for himself.

Thankfully, he assured me Paul wouldn't be fired as he took the view that although Paul shouldn't have listened to me and made an error of judgement it was my fault, also I think he doesn't want to have to hire another CPO and he knows that generally speaking I get on with Paul and accept the protocol put in place and this was a one off.

As I lie there my phone starts to ring, I reach for it and smile as I see my Aunt Ana's name on the screen.

"Hello" I say putting the phone to my ear.

"How are you?" my aunt asks me gently.

"Pretty shit if I'm honest" I say bluntly.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she says.

I sigh, "Everything has gone to shit, I don't want to be a mom, I just don't, so I have decided to have an abortion. Josh isn't happy with that, he started talking about marrying me and that just freaked me out completely. I'm 16 I don't want to be married, and tied down with a kid, but then I feel like a complete selfish bitch for even thinking that way and everything just keeps going round in my mind. Then just to top things off nicely Mike has raised his ugly head again and get this, he wants Josh for himself, you know how he was stalking Josh originally, well he wants him... you know, wants him. He cornered me at the deli today and he said that I took him away from him and that I was trying to trap him by getting pregnant, and then just for shits and giggles he got his dick out to let me know it works just fine despite the fact I rammed my stiletto into it. So all in all I am not doing so good at the moment. I just want all of this to go away, and I'm really not sure how much more I can take" I stop feeling better after my rant.

"Wow" my aunt says after a moment.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have dumped all that on you" I say now slightly embarrassed by my over sharing.

My aunt quickly responds to that, "Yes you should, you know I am always here for you" she says firmly, she hesitates a moment and then her tone altering to something much softer she speaks again changing the subject. "Listen, have you considered adoption as an option, you know your uncle was adopted and look how he turned out?" she asks.

"I have, but disregarded it pretty quickly, on the grounds of who I am and how notorious my entire family is and Josh's too for that matter. It would be too much of a temptation for people to leak that sort of information to the media and they would have a field day with it and it would result in the kid getting pretty fucked up one way or another, and I don't want that for anyone" I say.

"Ok, I see your point… but what if the baby was adopted by someone within the family?" she asks.

I pause, "What are you saying?" I ask.

"What if your uncle and I raised your baby? You would be able to see them grow up and you would know that they are getting the best possible life and you would still be able to be involved without the hands on parental responsibility" she suggests.

I sit up, I quickly go through this in my mind, "I don't know, can I talk to Josh about it see what he thinks?" I say.

"Of course you can, I just wanted you to know that you have options and this way you would get the best of both worlds" she says.

"Was this your idea?" I ask.

"It was, but your uncle and I have discussed it, your dad has been keeping your uncle updated on events and he mentioned what had happened last night when Josh and his father came to talk. So we discussed it and talked things over and agreed to make the offer before you decided anything, just so you could be aware of all your options," she explains.

"Ok, thank you, I don't know what to say" I stammer.

"Just think about it, alright?" she says.

I chat a while longer and then when I hang up I head out to find my dad.

**(GIDEON)**

I am sitting with my daughters, Zoe is drawing and Olivia is reading when Denise comes bursting in her eyes shining and I look up at her, she is practically bouncing. There is a sparkle is back in her eyes which has been missing since she discovered she was pregnant.

"What's happened?" I ask.

"Dad I need to talk to you, now" she says urgently.

I stand and we head to my study and shut the door, "What is it?" I ask.

Denise is standing in front of me her hands clasped tightly and she is practically bouncing with excitement.

"I just got a call, Aunty Ana called me asking how I was, and she has made me an offer, she has offered to raise my baby, that way I don't have to terminate, and the baby will get the best possible life" she looks at me the hope shining in her eyes. "What do you think?" she asks.

I shrug, "I'm not opposed to the idea, but it would have to be done all above board and done legally" I say.

She nods at me, "yes but we could do it privately and not involve outside agencies, I mean Arash is discreet and loyal he wouldn't fuck you over and leak it to the media and I'm pretty sure Uncle Christian has his own loyal attorneys" she looks at me still clasping her hands tightly.

"If that is the route you want to take I will support you all the way" I say, she walks up to me and hugs me tightly.

"Thank you daddy" she says, she looks up at me, "I guess you will be sitting on the bathroom floor with me for the next couple of months or so after all!" she says.

I smile down at her but don't say anything. I can foresee issues as I don't think the Landon's will be overly thrilled about this and call me suspicious and paranoid but Ryan Landon is being just too accommodating and reasonable at the moment. But I don't want to burst her bubble with this, I could tell she was struggling with her decision to terminate and to her this is a way out and I don't want to take that from her.

"Have you told Josh yet?" I ask her warily.

She shakes her head, "no he will be here soon and I'll tell him in person" she says.

A short while later Josh arrives and I watch Denise run to him and drag him to her room to talk. I pace around wondering how the conversation is going and then they both eventually appear; Josh is holding her hand and smiling widely, which I take as a good sign.

**(DENISE)**

I am feeling elated with this news that my aunt and uncle are offering to take on my baby. I was struggling with my decision to terminate but I really couldn't really see any other option.

I have talked it over with my dad and he seems pretty positive about it and now all I have to do is discuss it with Josh. I am waiting not too patiently for him to arrive and I leap to my feet as soon as I hear him, I hear my dad let him in and he is talking to him in the hallway.

"Josh!" I call and run to him, he stares at me in surprise but I don't give him chance to respond. "Come with me we need to talk, I have news something we need to talk about, come on" I ramble and grabbing his hand I pull him past my father who stares at us with a slightly amused look on his face.

"Thanks Mr Cross" Josh says as we pass my dad and I pull him into my room and close the door.

"I have had an offer from my aunt in Seattle and I want to discuss it with you" I start as soon as the door is shut.

"Ok, just calm down and sit down and let's talk, slowly" Josh says.

I take a deep breath and sit down beside him, grasping his hand I explain.

"Aunty Ana called me tonight to see how I am and how things are; I kind of dumped everything on her and told her everything. Then she said something which could change everything for us" I pause and looking straight at him I work out how to say it, "She and my uncle have offered to raise our baby, they want to adopt him or her" I say.

I watch as surprise floods Josh's face and he thinks about what I have just said.

"You are clearly on board with that idea?" he says looking at me.

I nod, "I am, I was never happy about terminating. If I had been in the same position as Jenny was then there would have been no question about it, but our baby was made with love, and it happened because I didn't pay attention to the doctor when she was telling me how the pill worked. This way we would know they were having the best possible life and we could get on with ours until we are ready to settle down and have a family of our own. We would be a part of his or her life and they would know we love them but are just too young and did what we did for the best". I stop and look at him, "What are your thoughts on this?" I ask.

"I can live with that scenario" he says, and I can see he is happier with this option.

I clap my hands and then fling my arms around him. "Thank you" I say.

Josh wraps his arms around me, "it would all have to be done legally and I would want an open adoption so we can have input" he says and I nod in agreement.

"I'll call my aunt and uncle and we can discuss all that, do you want to tell your dad?" I ask.

I watch as Josh pulls his phone from his pocket and calls his father.

"Dad, something has happened, regarding the baby... yes... listen, Dennie's aunt and uncle in Seattle have offered to adopt the baby and raise him or her as their own, and Dennie seems quite keen on that idea... yes... yes... I said that to Dennie... yes, what do you think?... you do... ok thanks dad... I'll tell her... thanks... bye dad" he says and then he hangs up.

"My dad thinks this is the best possible outcome" he says with a smile.

I squeal in delight and fling my arms around Josh knocking him backwards on to my bed. His arm goes around me and he moves towards my mouth, and kisses me. I deepen the kiss and I feel him harden between us. I reach down and stroke his erection.

He grabs my hand and shakes his head at me. "No, we can't do anything here and I need this to go down before we go downstairs" he says.

I nod and slide off of him, "sorry" I say.

"Don't be, I love you and you love me and we can't keep our hands off each other, and there is nothing wrong with that, but now just isn't the right time" he says.

A few minutes later Josh is in a position to leave my bedroom without embarrassment and we head downstairs to talk to my dad about our decision.

We all go to my dad's study and he places a call to Seattle, putting it on speaker we gather around the phone.

"Grey" comes the unmistakable voice of my Uncle Christian.

"Hi, Uncle Christian" I call before anyone can say anything.

"Hello Denise, how are you?" he says warmly.

"I'm good now, we are ringing about the offer Aunty Ana called me about earlier, we want to discuss it some more and we want to take you up on it. Josh is here with me now and I think he has some questions" I say.

"That's fine" my uncle says.

Josh steps forward, "Good Evening sir, and I just want to thank you for this kind offer. I am happy to take you up on it, but I would want an open adoption, so I could have access to my child and have input through their life would that be a problem?" he says.

"That would be our plan too, I would want you and Denise involved and the child to know who his or her biological parents are and that they were loved and there was no question of them being given away or unwanted and unloved" he says.

I butt in at this point, "is that how you felt Uncle Christian?" I ask.

There is a silence, "Yes, my birth mother died and I have unpleasant memories of that time but the way my life was I always assumed I was unwanted and unloved. I have since discovered that wasn't the case but it's not a pleasant feeling growing up with those assumptions" he says.

I look at Josh, he seems a little stunned by this, "I'm sorry to hear that sir" Josh mutters.

"Don't be, it's the past" my uncle says in a firmer voice. "Listen, I am flying to New York shortly and we can get together and discuss this properly get everything on a legal footing and we can iron out any questions and issues, does that sound acceptable?" he says.

"It does" I say, "and thank you so much" I say, emotion overwhelming me.

Josh puts his arm around me and kisses me tenderly.

My dad who has been silent to this point steps forward to speak, "I'll call you tomorrow bro, we can discuss the other issues then" he says.

I look up at my dad. Other issues, what other issues? I catch his eye and he shakes his head at me and I know not to pursue this any further at this point.

"No problem, I'm flying out the day after tomorrow and we will all get together then. I'll bring Ana with me and we can sit down and talk this through" he says.

"Thank you Uncle Christian" I call.

"No problem sweetheart, I'll see you in a couple of days" he says.

"Bye Uncle Christian" I say.

Josh steps forward and speaks, "Goodbye sir and thank you for everything" he says.

My dad kills the call and turns to us, looking at Josh he speaks, "When my brother arrives and we talk through all this, I'd like your father to be present as well" he says.

Josh nods, "I am going to tell him when I get home, but will you call him and let him know when it's all going to happen?" he asks.

My dad nods, "I will" he says.

After Josh goes home, I head to my father's study where he is working on something, he looks up at me as I walk in and he pushes his keyboard away and picks up his mug and drinks his coffee in one gulp.

"What do you need?" he asks warily.

"Answers" I reply looking directly into his eyes.

"Ok, any particular answers?" he replies.

"Other issues" I say. I see my dad stiffen and he stands walking over to the sofa, he holds his hand out to me and gestures for me to join him. I sit down beside him and he takes a deep breath.

"We have reason to believe that news of your pregnancy has reached Sybil Hanson's ears and if it has she is bound to be planning on upping her game with regard to using you to get revenge on me. I am seriously worried about this development considering that we got information that Donny Foster flew to Washington State to visit her in prison. My brother has sent Taylor to the prison to try and get more information. That is why I was so pissed at you for disregarding security, you need to realise you are in danger and at this moment we have no idea what we are dealing with, but hopefully after today we will finally have clear picture of what we are facing and what Sybil's motives are, this has been a huge breakthrough. Now my brother is involved as well by offering to adopt the baby, I can foresee more issues as if she finds out this she won't hesitate to try and exploit it somehow. Her plan with Phoebe failed when she dumped the senator's son, so she is just waiting for an opening to get revenge on Christian. We need to be aware, alert and on top the game Dennie and we can't give her any opportunity to succeed with her sick games". He stops and I stare at him.

"That's why Mike has suddenly reappeared then" I say.

To my surprise my dad's shakes his head, "I'm not so sure on that anymore, I have a feeling Mike is a loose cannon. He his following his own agenda which makes him all the more dangerous, after what he said about Jenny that it was his idea to get revenge to send a message to her father I believe his main priority is Josh. He is obsessed with Josh and wants him and he is unstable enough to go to any lengths to try and try and get him".

I stare at my dad, "This fucking sucks" I state.

He pulls me close, "I know" he replies.

**oooOOOooo**

_Earlier that day at the Women's Correctional Facility in Washington State..._

**(TAYLOR)**

"Jeff good to see you buddy how's it going?" I shake hands with my old army buddy who has been sending me information on Elena since she arrived here. He tipped us off that she was expected to see Donny Foster today and this was confirmed by my counterpart on Gideon's team who has been tailing Foster, he informed me that Foster has arrived here and is making his way to the visiting suite.

"I'm good, look come in here and we will see and hear everything. Everything is set up as you asked for and every word will be recorded. I want that bitch to pay, she thinks she's the fucking queen bee, I have never met anyone so deluded and bat shit crazy and there are some crazy fuckers in this place I assure you!"

I smile and follow Jeff into a room, I clearly see Elena, Sybil, Helen whatever the fuck she calls herself sitting examining her nails. The door opens and a man appears. I recognise him immediately as Donny Foster and I lean forward to watch. I listen in on the unfolding conversation.

"You failed me Donny, you assured me your son was up to the task" she says.

She sits bolt upright, her shoulders squared displaying a dominance and obviously intimidating the man almost cowering in front of her.

"I'm sorry ma'am, Mike got side tracked. I know he was to target Cross's daughter but when he found out her best friend had links with his mother he couldn't control himself. You have to remember his mother left us and it affected him badly when he found out this girl was his mothers step daughter. It upset him, he wanted revenge" he stops silenced by the icy glare fixed on him.

"Do I look as though I care about your family issues?" Helen says coldly.

"No ma'am, I'm sorry" Donny stammers his eyes now fixed on the floor.

"This is your last chance fail me and there will be consequences. I want revenge on Cross, he turned my Christian against me. He was mine, I owned him body and soul and he was taken away from me, that mousy little bitch he married brought Cross into his life and between them they turned him against me. I want them both to pay and I am working on separating my boy from those leaches he calls his family but Cross is your responsibility. I have made my position clear I want him to pay for his part, I want him to hurt, I want to destroy him" she slams her hand on the table, "Have I made myself clear?" she growls.

"Yes ma'am and I assure you I won't fail you again. Mike is too unstable but Davie is on the task now he won't let us down. He has previously managed to get access to her at school when your sister let him in and he managed to make contact with her. If I'd known Mike was going to screw up so badly I'd never have given him the task from the start but things are back on track now, we have a plan and its going work. Cross has beefed up security on his kids so I have a feeling he aware of us but I am confident what Davie has planned will work. Plus we have found out that we will get two for the price of one as Cross's daughter is pregnant" Donny says his eyes shining as he imparts this news.

Helen Ellis stares at him and an evil grin passes over her lips, "Really? Well that is interesting. Alright you have one more chance. You have pleased me by giving me this news but know this, fail me again and you will be punished" she glares at him and he nods at her.

"Yes ma'am" Donny whispers again.

"Good now go" she says. She watches with some satisfaction as Donny scrambles to his feet and almost runs from the room.

"Is she's really that deluded?" I say as I watch. I turn to my buddy and he shrugs.

"It would appear so, I think we are more in the realms of bat shit crazy rather than deluded though" he says with a grin.

I shake my head as I try and get my head around everything. "She must be crazy to believe that she will have control over Christian Grey and if she is convinced that once she has removed the people around him that he will just return to her. Unfortunately for her we are one step ahead, thanks for the tip off" I say to the man standing beside me.

"Not a problem any time!" Jeff replies and shakes my hand warmly. We watch her a moment longer staring at the evil woman through the two way mirror. I smile as know she is totally unaware that every word spoken has been heard and recorded and is now on its way to Seattle and New York.

**oooOOOooo**

**(DENISE)**

I look around the room and there is a stunned silence. I had to fight to be allowed into the meeting and to listen to this recording that had been taken at the prison in Washington State, my uncle didn't want me present to hear it, possibly because he didn't want Aunty Ana to hear it either, and if I was going to listen to it there was no way he could say no to her, but I had protested loudly and my father had backed me and now although I know exactly what we are dealing with part of me wishes I hadn't heard it. I place my hand unconsciously over my stomach, the message was clear; they want to kill me and my baby.

I sit back and I notice everyone is looking anxiously at me, why?

"Denise honey, are you alright?" my aunt asks as she reaches for me.

I nod, although I do feel a little light headed and really sick after listening to that recording but that is to be expected, surely? "I'm fine" I whisper a little surprised as to how wobbly my words sound.

"You have gone very pale sweetheart, are you sure you are ok?" she pushes.

I frown, "I said I'm fine, and I'm glad I heard it, I know what I am facing now and I can be on my guard" I say.

I feel my father's protective arm wrap around my shoulder he has sat silently beside me, throughout the time it was played the only clue to how he was feeling was the clenching of his fists. I look up once more.

"What about Liv and Zoe, are they being targeted too?" I ask the room at large.

I see Jason who is sat at my Uncle's right hand side nod, "We are working on that assumption, although they were not mentioned specifically, it is safe to assume they will also be targeted," he says.

"She is planning something against Phoebe and Aunt Ana as well; you did get that from what she said didn't you?" I ask anxiously.

Jason nods, "We did Denise" he says calmly.

I lean forward and poke my finger on the dining table we are all sitting around, "So let's get this straight, she wants to take everyone out around Uncle Christian, everyone who she sees as turning him against her?" I say.

Everyone nods at me, but nobody says a word.

"And she thinks this will make him turn back to her?" I say and there are more nods at this.

I stare around the room incredulously, "Is she totally insane?" I ask, as I voice the words which I believe are surely the only reason for someone to behave so bizarrely.

Once again everyone nods at me.

"I'm afraid that is exactly what she is" my uncle says as he rubs his eyes.

"But the fact is we now have the upper hand and from now on we will continue to have it" Jason says confidently.

"How come it's taken so long to get this, surely it would have been obvious to listen in to her visits from the start, we've known for a while Donnie Foster has been flying to Washington to visit her, why didn't we do this sooner?" I ask.

Jason smiles, "Because to start with it isn't totally legal to listen into and record private prison visits, plus the guy who tipped us off and allowed us access to listen in – my old army buddy Jeff, has only recently started working there after relocating back to Washington State. He reached out, and contacted me to say he was back in the area and wondered if I still lived in the north west, then when it came up in conversation where he was now working we jumped on the opportunity to use that connection and asked him to let us know when Elena got visitors and who visited her. He did that and offered us the opportunity to listen in and now he is aware of how dangerous she is and what she is planning to do he has agreed to keep us informed of any further developments " he explains.

"So is he risking his job to do allow you to do what you did?" I ask as I realise just how dodgy this whole situation is.

Jason shakes his head, "No if he was employed as an ordinary prison guard then yes, possibly, but the position he has taken has him further up the food chain" he says confidently.

"Plus I wouldn't allow it to come to that, I would use what influence I could to spare him from any repercussions should they occur" my uncle says calmly.

I stare at him, "well..." I begin, "if that's the case then couldn't we use that influence and get her moved to a new cell with some Amazon sized woman with bad hygiene, bad breath, bad gas and a hair trigger temper? Someone so foul she'd make an onion cry? Some big ass abusive bully that can knock a couple of teeth out, split her lip and break her nose, making it look like an accident? Because the way I see it she needs to wake up feeling tormented, go to sleep feeling tortured and have every waking moment in between, feeling she'd be better off dead… it's no more than she deserves" I say.

I watch the men in front of me stare at me, the amusement obvious on their faces. Jason even lifts his hand to cover the smile he is unable to suppress.

"What?" I ask a little defensively, "Come on think about it, in away you'd be doing her a favour. I mean it would give her something to occupy her mind and less time to obsess over Uncle Christian" I say.

My uncle reaches for me and squeezes my hand, "Denise, as much as arranging something like that would give me more pleasure than you can possibly imagine, I'm afraid it wouldn't do the slightest good. What you fail to realise is Elena is a sadist, she is also completely insane and totally deluded, to put her in a situation like that wouldn't do any good in the long run and knowing her as I do she would probably take it as a challenge" he says. He is trying to make add some levity, but I can detect the bitter sadness buried in his tone.

I stand up suddenly, "I need some air" I say and I leave the room, closely followed by Paul, who has been standing silently in the corner.

I head out towards the balcony, we rarely use it and I have to hunt for a few moments for the key. When I eventually find it I struggle to unlock the doors as my hands are shaking so much. Paul takes pity on me and taking the key from my hands opens the doors and follows me out on to the balcony. I stand at the barrier gripping it and taking deep breaths.

"Are you ok?" Paul asks.

I shake my head and don't answer him. I hear him sigh and he comes and stands next to me leaning and resting his forearms on the barrier.

"Listen to me, you need to believe me, you have my word that I will do whatever it takes to keep you safe" he says. He smiles at me and nudges me with his shoulder, "and my guess is after hearing all that you will be fully co-operating from now on and not pulling stunts like the other day" he adds.

I turn my head and look at him, "What about Liv and Zoe?" I ask ignoring his dig about what happened at the deli.

He looks at me with compassion but his words are firm and precise, "Davis will protect Olivia just as he does now and Zoe will continue to be protected by Andy, but my guess is he will be a more visible presence than he is now". He pauses and sighs, measuring his words carefully before he speaks, "The problem we have with Zoe is she has no idea she has a CPO so if she suddenly notices a man following her around it could have a negative effect on her" he says.

I nod in agreement, my dad has always been keen to try and give us a normal upbringing and tried hard to balance the need to keep us safe with our independence and freedom, and although security has been there it's never been obtrusive, unlike Uncle Christian who has always adopted a more blatant approach with a total lack of discretion and subtlety.

"It's kind of uncomfortable knowing I have a price on my head so to speak" I say. I touch my stomach, "and it's not just me now either" I add.

I was quite surprised by the intensive protective maternal feelings that came to the surface when I was listening to that recording, fears for my own safety took second place to the overwhelming anger I felt that someone wanted to hurt my baby... My baby, that is a concept I hadn't even really considered fully until this point, up to now in my mind it has always been the baby, the mistake, the problem, my fuck up, the thing which had the potential to wreck my life but with this news it has suddenly changed that. It has become my baby, a life which I will protect with my own until my last breath. I tell myself that I still don't want to be a mother yet, I'm not ready but I find myself questioning my decision to have my aunt raise him or her when they are born. I tell myself it is for the best and that it is the right choice but I realise this situation has changed how I look at things, the thought of any harm coming to this life I am carrying inside me fills me with anger the like I have never experienced before and it is confusing me and making me question what I thought was the right decision. My mind moves from my baby to my sisters.

"Then, the thought of anything happening to my sisters, well..." I say and stop abruptly unable to articulate my distress at the idea of harm coming to them, the thoughts too horrible to contemplate and I shake my head violently the anguish of that scenario overwhelming me. Paul pats my hand, an awkward yet oddly comforting gesture.

"Here you are" I turn and see my aunt walking towards me she stands beside me and wraps her arm around me tightly.

"How are you... really?" she asks.

"Scared" I reply. "Not for me but for my sisters, my dad... and my baby" I say and then pause before I continue. "I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to any of them" I add.

I look at my aunt "and then there is the added threat of something happening to you and Phoebe as well" I say.

My aunt smiles reassuringly at me and pulls me close again. "Well it's not going to, your dad has a first class security team and so does your uncle their combined resources will not allow anything to happen to you or your sisters, or me and Phoebe" she says with such conviction and belief it calms me and makes me feel better and I nod at her. I bend leaning down and rest my head on her shoulder as she continues to hold me tightly.

We head back inside and I let go of my aunt's hand, "I need to find my dad" I say and she nods at me.

I find him where I left him in the dining room still sitting at the table with Uncle Christian, Jason and Raul; the four men look up at me as I enter the room.

I square my shoulders and take my seat back beside my father and prepare myself to voice my concerns.

"Ok then, here's the thing" I say with as much confidence as I can muster, "security is going to be massively beefed up, Liv is old enough to have it explained to her why – she doesn't need to know everything I get that but she needs to be in the loop to a certain extent. Josh needs to know as does his dad, because he is at risk by association, but then we have Zoe. At this point in time she is oblivious, she has no idea she has a CPO so if security is tightened she is going to wonder why there is suddenly a strange man following her around and she is going to naturally freak out about that, especially after what happened when one of the Foster's spoke to her at school. So we need to tell her something. We need to work out what story we give her so she accepts it and accepts Andy being there and more importantly is happy with it". I say then I stop and wait for some reaction and my dad nods.

"I agree with you sweetheart, Josh and his father are coming over later to discuss the situation with the baby we can talk to them about this and their part then" he says. "As for Liv and Zoe, well I totally agree with you about Olivia, but I don't relish having to have that conversation, but Zoe...I have no idea how to do this?" he says.

I look at him and think, "How about we introduce Andy to her, tell her some bullshit story that now she is getting older she needs to have someone with her. She has always been aware of the fact you are who you are and that there are risks involved in being your daughter with kidnappers and stuff, but I don't want to push that angle because knowing Zoe she will freak out thinking she is going to be kidnapped. Liv and I can talk to her tell her how we have had Paul and Davis with us we can make out they have been around for longer than is actually the case and we make it sound like its a brilliant thing to have a CPO, you know spin it that its like having a guardian angel or something like that" I say.

Uncle Christian looks at me, with a look which says if she had always been aware of security you wouldn't be having this problem.

I ignore the look and continue, "I also think we need to get Hilary Ellis out of the school somehow or get some kind of tab on her because no matter how good our security is we are vulnerable in school as long as she is there, with the potential of her allowing access to the bad guys. Zoe in particular is vulnerable; she is isolated in a way being next door. Liv and I have always had each other, that extra pair of eyes, and I worry that Hilary Ellis will exploit that and possibly target Zoe, she tried once letting that man hang around and get the chance to talk to her".

"How do you suggest we do that?" my dad asks.

I shrug, "I have no fucking idea" I say. I think hard staring into space trying to come up with something and then an idea hits me as I gaze at Jason's open laptop on the table and I point at it. "Wait, no hang on, Uncle Christian, that guy you have at GEH the computer IT wizard geek?" I ask.

"Barney?" he answers.

"That's the guy… would it be possible? I mean I'm making this up as I go along but could he hack into the school's security system and do something so we can keep tabs on her that way or something? I know it sounds far fetched but it's the only thing I can think of at the moment" I look at my Uncle and I see him exchange a look with Jason who smiles and nods.

"It's possible, highly illegal but possible" Jason says.

I stare at him as he says that and I feel my anger rising at the remark about us doing something illegal.

"I don't give a fuck about legalities. Stalking, deliberately harming and killing people is also illegal but that doesn't seem to bother them!" I snap.

"Good point, well made" my uncle says with a smile, "I'll get on to it, and see what Barney can come up with, if anyone can do it he can" he says confidently.

I nod then address one of the things which scares me the most.

"Then we have the added problem of Mike Foster" I say. My anxiety ratchets up a notch just saying his name and I rub my hands which have suddenly become sweaty on my jeans. I press on with my concerns.

"Even his dad acknowledges the fact he is a totally fucked up loose cannon, and he has made his position clear, he wants my boyfriend. Which totally explains all the stalking and obsession but now we have jealousy in the mix as well because he believes I have taken him away from him that and the fact I'm pregnant with Josh's baby, well that kind of makes it obvious to anyone that we are intimate and as far as he is concerned to him that means Josh is cheating on him. I dread to think what warped stuff is going on in his head. Davie Foster is charged with the task of getting to me, now from what contact I have already had with him, he is undoubtedly a fucked up son of a bitch, he is perverted with his inclination to constantly have his dick waving about and I'm convinced it wouldn't take a lot for him to want to use it, but he doesn't strike me a total fruit loop. That I can handle but I have to admit Mike Foster scares the shit out of me, there is something about him which is just too unpredictably dangerous and volatile ". I stop speaking as I see Raul and Jason nod.

Raul leans towards me, "Denise, I need you to know we are doing everything possible to keep you and your sisters safe, we are on top of this. Do you believe that? Because I need you to believe that?" he says earnestly.

I nod and then I swallow hard before I tell my biggest fear of all, "What about dad?" I whisper, the words sticking in my throat as I say them.

My dad immediately wraps his arm around me. "I'm not that kind of target sweetheart, not in that way. The way I see this is she wants to destroy me and she knows that the way to destroy me is to take away the people who mean the most to me" he says reassuringly.

I look up at Raul and Jason and they have uncomfortable looks on their faces.

"Do you believe that?" I ask them.

Raul sighs and shrugs, "To a point, but we can't rule out the possibility that if the opportunity presented itself to harm your dad then it would be taken" he says.

I feel my dad grip me tighter as I panic slightly at that. "Now see, that is the thing which terrifies me" I say, "I have already lost my mother, I can't lose anyone else" I say and I feel the tears starting to well up in my eyes.

"You're not going to" my father says firmly in the tone of voice which makes what he has just said a complete unswayable fact.

I rest my head on his shoulder, but for the first time in my life I don't totally believe his emphatic statement. I still have doubt and it's that doubt is what troubles me.


	15. Chapter 15

CHAPTER 15

It has been an odd day, I think that I have experienced every possible emotion there is to feel today. When I woke up I spent a good 20 minutes on my knees in the bathroom throwing up with my father at my side holding my hair and reassuring me. As I hurled up my guts all I had was the desire to curl up and die, but when that passed and I started to feel better my mood improved and then there was distinct excitement knowing my aunt and uncle were here in New York, along with anticipation of seeing them again. Then there was disappointment when my father had insisted we would still be going to school despite the fact they were in town. Then impatience was the dominating emotion and getting through the day which seemed to drag.

I felt distraction as I spent every spare moment during that day piecing together in my mind what I want out of the adoption and second guessing what Josh wants. Finally returning home at the end of the school day and walking into the penthouse and I experienced the joy at seeing my aunt and uncle again, only for it to quickly evaporate when I find my dad, aunt and uncle discussing something which was clearly bigger than the planned adoption. My questioning look at my father to be told the two words 'other issues' inspiring dread and with that understanding my swift demand that I be included in whatever it was they were talking about. Anger swiftly followed when my uncle initially refused, and then relief when I was allowed in and then the myriad of revulsion, panic, fear and protective anger at the revelations from the recording which knocked me for six and left me questioning everything. Now I have just about got my scattered mind back on track and I hear Josh and his father arrive and I feel a sense of relief. I need to feel Josh's arms around me. I look at my dad and uncle.

"Josh and Mr Landon have arrived" I say unnecessarily, "they are here to talk about the baby" I add, equally unnecessarily.

My dad slaps his hand on the table, "come on lets go and meet them, and talk about something which will have a definite positive resolution" he says, which tells me he is worrying about this state of affairs with that woman Helen, Sybil, Elena whatever the fuck she calls herself more than he is letting on, and this situation with the baby is an unwelcome distraction from the bigger issues going on. I slip my hand into his.

"I'm sorry I've caused you so much trouble" I whisper to him.

He stares at me and shakes his head, "You made a mistake Denise, I have made more than a few so stop beating yourself up about this. Josh and Landon are here and we are going to sort this out tonight" he says.

"Ryan, Josh, good to see you again" my father says brightly as he strides towards our guests his hand outstretched. He waves his free hand towards my aunt and uncle, "Ryan, let me introduce you to my brother Christian Grey and his wife Ana. Christian, Ana this is Ryan Landon, and Josh you know of course" I watch the ritual of polite handshakes, I notice Josh staring at me and I smile at him.

"What's wrong?" he asks as he embraces me and kisses me gently on the lips.

I shake my head, "I got some upsetting news today, I'll talk to you later about it" I say. Josh continues to stare at me for a moment then seemingly satisfied with my response he nods.

"Ok" he says, grabbing hold of my hand.

"Ok then shall we go and sit down, would you like a drink?" my father asks brightly.

We all troop into the sitting room and my father hands out glasses of bourbon to our guests, he glances at Josh.

"Would you like a glass of soda or anything?" he asks, I watch as Josh shakes his head and mutters a quiet but polite no thank you.

My father sits down in his usual armchair and taking a swift gulp of the liquor in his glass takes charge.

"So we are all here to discuss Denise and Josh's baby, as you know my brother and sister in law have offered to adopt the child at birth and raise him or her as their own, so what we need to discuss is what you Josh hope to gain from this arrangement and how everyone envisages this going forward". My dad stops and looks directly at Josh, who reaches for me and grips my hand tightly.

"Well first of all I'd like to thank Mr and Mrs Grey for their kind and generous offer, after having spent time at their lovely home in Seattle I can't think of a nicer place for my child to grow up in and nicer people to trust my child with".

He pauses and looks at me, "I won't lie I was a little disappointed that Denise didn't chose to raise the child herself, it was purely for selfish reasons as far as I was concerned we made that baby, admittedly it happened because of an error of judgement, but he or she was conceived and nobody can argue that despite that error of judgement… 'mistake' if you want to use that term, there was love involved and that baby is a physical manifestation of my love for Denise and hers for me, so it is natural I want what's best for him or her and in my honest opinion a child's best place is with his or her parents". He stops for a moment and I stare at him, I have never heard him so impassioned about anything before. I swallow hard, struck silent by his words.

"Not necessarily" Uncle Christian says tightly, I see Josh look across to my uncle. "I nearly died of malnutrition, dehydration and physical abuse when I was with my biological mother, I am only here today because I escaped and was adopted" he adds.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to infer..."Josh stammers realising what he has just said.

Uncle Christian smiles at him, "I know you didn't, it's alright" he says.

"So" Josh continues, getting back into his stride. "I won't lie, I was upset when Denise decided to terminate. I can see her reasons why she chose that option, after all she is only 16, which is a fact I often forget as she is so mature and incredible" he looks at me with such love as he says this I have to put my head down to hide the tears which are threatening.

"But I could see she wasn't 100% on board with that option either and she was only doing it because she saw no other way and I was concerned that if she went through with it she would have regrets and guilt and it would eventually drive a wedge between us. I could see her wavering with her decision to terminate so when you kindly offered to step in and I saw how happy that made Denise I was only too willing to agree. I now accept Denise believes she isn't ready for motherhood, and I won't be the one to force that on her but if this adoption goes ahead, I want a say in my child's future" Josh stops and looks directly at my uncle.

Uncle Christian nods, "That is not in question" he says coolly. "However, if we are to adopt the child I want to make it clear we will be the primary care givers, therefore the decisions as to how the child is raised will lie with us" he stops.

Josh nods, "I accept that Mr Grey, I just want my child to always know they are adopted, but also that their biological parents love them very much and it was never a question of them not being wanted, or unloved but simply a question of timing and immaturity on our part to be able to fulfil the role of parents and that we felt they would be better off with you. I want to be able to visit and spend time with the child and watch him or her grow up" Josh says.

My uncle nods, "again that isn't in question, I am proposing an open adoption, the details can be ironed out but generally speaking the child would be raised by myself and Ana, he or she would call us mom and dad, but they would know they have biological parents who love them equally as much as we do but for the reasons you have stated were unable to raise them themselves, you could have visiting rights at set times so there would be an element of stability for the child, and we would of course keep you informed of all milestones reached. Is that acceptable to you?" he asks.

Josh nods, "Perfectly, I am happy we talked this through" he says.

"I have a question?" Ryan Landon says leaning forward.

I watch my uncle turn his attention to Mr Landon.

"What about the extended family, this will be my first grandchild?" he says. I can't help but hear the hurt in his voice that he is in some way being written out of the baby's life.

I watch my uncle stiffen slightly, "I'm sure accommodation can be made and you can be included in some way" he says. I note the bite as he says these words and I gather from it that he doesn't want Mr Landon to have any say at all, "But the child's well being would have to come first, introducing too many biological extended family members will cause confusion and disruption" he adds.

I watch as Mr Landon cocks his head to the side, "and yet Cross will have access to his grandchild" he says.

"As my brother, yes he will, but he will be considered the child's uncle and not grandfather until the child is old enough to understand the truth" my uncle concedes nodding his head, "I'm not saying you are to be excluded I'm just suggesting we keep the nature of your relationship to the child to ourselves until the child is old enough to understand" he adds, the irritation in his voice evident.

I watch Mr Landon consider this and nod his head, "I can see your point, I just don't want to be excluded" he says.

"And I have assured you, that you won't be" my uncle states. I watch the backward and forward discussion and it occurs to me these two men are discussing my baby like a business acquisition. I notice my aunt watching my reaction and then she places her hand on top of my uncles and squeezes.

"We all want what's best for this baby, as that is why we are all here. Christian and I have tried for years to have more children but it never happened for us, we assure you we would give this child immeasurable love, but we would also make sure they knew where they came from and that they have a biological mommy and daddy who also love them very much but who were just too young to take on the responsibility of parenthood, then as they grow up we can introduce extended family members and explain the connections then, when they are at an age to understand and accept them" my aunt says.

I listen to everything that is going on and I am surprised by the vehemence of Mr Landon who desperately wants to have a place in his grandchild's life, and hearing the way my uncle talked about everything so clinically like a business deal, I suddenly question my decision. I feel uncertain, I am second guessing myself, I feel a sudden wave of guilt. I am denying Mr Landon his first grandchild? What kind of person am I? I am selfishly giving away my baby because I don't want the responsibility for the life I helped to create and I am denying Josh his right as a father, but if I pull out I am then denying my aunt and uncle the chance of parenthood. I am so confused, after my maternal instincts kicked in this afternoon I am no longer sure about anything. I feel the room closing in on me, my breathing is becoming shallow and laboured, Josh notices and looks at me with concern.

"Denise? What's wrong baby?" he asks, he puts his arm around me but I shake him off.

"No" I say and I run from the room, slamming the door behind me. I run to my room and locking the door I throw myself on my bed and sob uncontrollably, the events of today all overwhelming and consuming me.

I am pulled from my pity party by a knock on my door, "Go away" I call.

"Dennie, why are you crying?" I hear the voice of my baby sister so full of concern that I can't ignore it and I go and unlock my door.

Zoe walks in and looks up at me, I close the door again and I return to the bed curling up in a ball. I feel the bed move and Zoe snuggles up beside me wrapping her small arm around me. Her touch is comforting.

"Why are you sad?" she asks me.

"Because I have done something stupid and I'm paying for it now and I have no idea how to make it right without hurting a lot of people" I say.

Zoe looks at me, "You always tell me when I do something wrong that you have to face what you have done, admit your mistake, apologise for it and then make it right" she says.

I look into her innocent eyes and the answer is suddenly staring me in the face, Zoe is right, I _am_ running away from my responsibility. It's not my aunt and uncle's place to raise this baby, it's mine, abortion was a cop out. I wasn't attacked and raped which I have come to realise, for me, would be the only valid reason for an abortion. I am hiding behind my own insecurities that I am not ready to be a mother, and using them as an excuse to abdicate my responsibilities, but I don't have the luxury to think that. I was just deluding myself, I considered myself ready to have sex with Josh so if that is the case I have to be ready to face the consequences. Consequences which I created, because I didn't listen to the doctor properly. I put my hand on my stomach, suddenly I can see everything clear as day, the doubts are gone the answer is obvious. I am going to be a mother, and there isn't a damn thing I can do about it, so I need to pull up my big girl pants and get on with it and be the best god damned mother I possibly can be.

I turn to my little sister who is staring at me, "Thank you Zoe, you have made me realise where I was going wrong" I say, I lean forward and hug her tightly.

"What did I do?" she asks in confusion.

I smile at her, "You made me see the truth" I say.

With that I leave the room and Zoe still sitting on my bed with her mouth open.

I walk back into the sitting room and everyone turns to look, Josh stands and walks over to me pulling into a tight embrace.

"I was going to give you five more minutes and then I was coming to find you" he says, "What happened are you ok?" he asks. I press my hand against his chest and nod.

Pushing way from him I look around the room, I take a deep breath and then I bite my lip this is going to hurt my aunt so bad, but it needs to be done. I watch Josh go and sit down next to his father and as calm descends over me I begin to speak.

"I've changed my mind" I say quietly. The silence that follows what I have just said is deafening, I turn to my aunt and before the tears that are threatening to escape at her expression have chance to fall I rush out what I want to say.

"After hearing everything this afternoon, about what is going on" I turn to Josh and Mr Landon, "We will fill you in on that in a moment" and they nod at me. "After hearing that, my maternal instincts kicked in big time and it made me confused and uncertain, but I have thought about it and I'm really sorry but I've changed my mind I want to raise my baby myself". I look at Josh, who is staring at me with his mouth wide open at my words, "and do you still want to help me do it?" I ask looking at him, he stands and strides towards me, he hugs me tightly.

"Of course I do" he whispers.

I turn and look at my aunt and uncle, my aunt who looks disappointed and my uncle who has that damned impassive look on his face so I have no idea what he is thinking. I gently push Josh away once more and step towards them.

"I'm so sorry to mess you about like this. I really appreciate your offer but I have realised this is my responsibility and I can't run away from it anymore, I have to face it and accept it" I say, I reach for my aunts hand, "I'm so sorry Aunty Ana" I say.

I wait for them to respond. My aunt's reaction is immediate; she pulls me into a hug and presses a kiss to my head. "You are going to be a wonderful mother Denise, and I will look forward to being a doting great aunt!" she says, I hug her tightly the relief at her words that surges through me is huge.

"Thank you" I say, I feel my uncle's hand on my arm and I turn to him.

"You are sure about this?" he asks seriously.

I nod decisively and I smile wryly, "I am, I have just had some sense talked into me by my nine year old sister!" I say. I watch Uncle Christian's puzzled and surprised expression.

"Zoe?" he asks in surprise.

I nod, "She heard me crying in my room and came to me, she asked me what was wrong, and I told her that I had done something stupid and I'm paying for it now and that I had no idea how to make it right without hurting a lot of people and do you know what she told me? She said, you always tell me when I do something wrong that you have to face what you have done, admit your mistake, apologise for it and then make it right. So here I am apologising for what I have done, to you all. To you Josh, I'm sorry I fucked up and didn't listen to the doctor which got us into this situation. Dad, I'm sorry for being a disappointment, and Uncle Christian and Aunty Ana I'm sorry for giving you the hope that you were going to be able to be parents again".

I pause and take another breath, "That's the apology bit, now here I am facing what I have done and hopefully making it right. I am facing motherhood and it is my responsibility to face that challenge head on and not make excuses that I am not ready" I turn to my dad who is staring at me, "dad I'm sure this time I am making the right decision, it's taken me a while to get to it but I got there in the end, remember the options we went through?" I see him nod, "well after considering all of them carefully I have decided I'm going for option four, which just so happens to be the hardest one. I am going to have my baby, but I am also still going to graduate High School this year and pursue my dreams and ambitions and I am going to need your help to do that?" I stop and my dad smiles at me.

"You've got it sweetheart" he says. He walks towards me and wrapping his arm around me he presses a kiss in my hair, "and there is no way on earth you are a disappointment to me, I couldn't be prouder of you at this moment" he adds.

"Thank you daddy" I whisper, I pull myself together and look at Mr Landon.

"Mr Landon, you said that you would lay out your resources for me, Josh and the baby, is that offer still open?" I ask.

I watch as Ryan Landon smiles and nods "of course it is" he says.

Josh turns to me and grips my face between his hands and stares into my eyes, "Dennie I love you so much, I know you are only 16 and that this is a life changing situation, but I swear to god in front of all these people here I will be with you every step of the way" he says earnestly, he pulls me close, "and I am going to marry you" he mutters firmly in my ear.

I quickly push away from him shaking my head. "Not yet" I reply, "and you may not want to after you hear about what else is going on" I say quietly.

Josh stares at me, I take a shot look at my dad, "we need to tell Mr Landon and Josh about the other issues" I say. My dad nods and I watch him text Raul, my uncle reaches for his phone and calls Jason and a few moments later the two security men are here complete with laptop and the recording. I go cold when I see it, I really don't want to hear it again and my aunt sees my distress.

"Come on Denise, we don't need to sit through this again. I know I don't want to hear that woman's deluded rant, lets leave them to it and we can come back in a while" she says.

I nod and gratefully accept following her from the room. I am glad actually as I want to check my aunt is really alright about my decision. We head to the balcony again. I smile at the thought it has been years since we used it until today and then here we are out here twice in one day.

As soon as we are alone I turn to my aunt, "Are you really ok with this?" I ask.

I watch as she smiles genuinely and nods, "I just want what is best for you, and I want you to be happy with the decision you make. I have no doubts that Josh will keep his word and stand by you he loves you, and I have no doubts that you will be a wonderful mother, yes I worry that you are young to be taking on such a responsibility especially considering you are also planning to focus on a career. It will be hard, but I also have no doubts that you have the will to make it work. You are an exceptional person Denise you don't seem to realise that". She smiles at me again and hugs me tightly. "I'm sure your mom is looking down on you from wherever she is and she is proud of you too" she adds.

That does it, those words undo me and I cling to my aunt and the tears flow.

When my aunt and I return to the sitting room, I see Mr Landon with his head in his hands and Josh looking equally shocked. He looks at me as I enter the room and immediately stands and embraces me tightly, a little too tightly if I am honest.

"I will protect you and our baby with my life" he whispers to me.

I push away from him and I need to make him see what he is saying here, as if the worst happens and these crazy people manage to get through dad's security that grand gesture vow could actually turn out to be a premonition.

"Josh you do realise that you are possibly putting yourself in danger, these people are sick, has my dad told you everything?" I glance at my father and Josh nods.

"He knows everything Denise" my dad states.

I look at my Uncle who is staring at Mr Landon, Jason and Raul have both gone and the atmosphere in the room is tense and thick.

"Mr Landon what are you thinking?" I ask carefully.

Ryan Landon lifts his head up and smiles at me, "I am thinking what an incredibly strong young woman you are, you are dealing with these threats against your safety, a pregnancy and the prospect of graduating from High School and graduating early, and you appear to be taking it all in your stride" he says.

I shrug, "I didn't feel so strong earlier when I had that meltdown, or the one I had this afternoon after I heard that recording for the first time" I say.

I feel Josh pull me closer and he kisses me on the temple, "Whatever we face we face together do you understand me?" he whispers in my ear.

I nod and return his hug, feeling warm and safe in his arms.

I turn to our fathers and my uncle, "if you would excuse us, we have a lot we need to talk about and discuss now that we are going to be raising our child ourselves".

My father nods and after I hug my uncle tightly and tell him once more how sorry I am. I lead Josh down the hallway to my room, when we reach it I close the door and lock it behind us. Josh immediately raises his eyebrows.

"What are you doing?" he asks.

"Nothing, after the day I have had today, I need you more than I have ever needed you, will you just hold me please Josh" I beg.

Josh smiles and nods at me as he pulls off his shoes and lies down on my bed, patting the space beside him, "Come here" he says and I climb on to the bed beside him and immediately his strong arms go around me, I shuffle closer and drink in his scent.

"You are totally sure about this? The baby I mean" Josh asks me and I nod, I have no doubts now, it took me a while to get there but now I have carefully considered all the options I know I am making the right decision.

"I am, it took me a while to realise it but yes, I'm sure" I say.

I feel Josh's hands move restlessly up and down my back "What's wrong?" I ask.

"It's just the thought of those sick bastards wanting to hurt you and our baby" he says.

"Shh" I whisper, "Don't think about it or it will drive you crazy. I am here now and we are both safe, when I am out and about and at school I will have Paul glued to my side and if I know my dad at all he will have even more security tailing us and lurking around in the shadows" I say.

Josh nods, "He's offered to provide a CPO for me and my dad is thinking about it" he says.

I nod, "You are at risk because of your association with me, and also with Mike being so unpredictable... it's a mess" I say.

"Let's just forget all about the bad guys for tonight and concentrate on us... just the three of us" Josh says quietly.

I smile at that small comment and snuggle closer, sighing as I feel the tension sliding away. There are no sexual overtures, neither of us feeling comfortable enough to do anything with our fathers and my uncle only a short distance away, not to mention my two younger sisters nearby. But just lying in Josh's arms calms and centres me and I sigh contentedly once more.

"Do you feel better now?" Josh asks me as he holds me tightly.

I nod, "Much better, now thank you" I reply and press a kiss to his chin.

I run my hands up and down his arms. "I have my first hospital appointment the day after tomorrow; my dad sorted it out for me, would you come with me?" I ask.

Josh nods emphatically, "Of course I will, I want to come to every hospital appointment you attend. I want to experience everything" he says.

"My dad will be there too, does that bother you?" I ask warily.

He shakes his head, "Not at all, he should be there" he says.

There is a moments silence and then Josh speaks again.

"Dennie, you do know that I wasn't lying when I said I wanted to marry you" he says.

"I know" I say, I lift myself up on to my elbow and look at him.

"The thing is, I have so much going on at the moment. I have school which is even more important now and I have been fast tracked to senior year which has added pressure and I want to give that the attention it deserves, I have the baby of course" I press my hand to my stomach as I say this "then we have all the other stuff going on, all that crap with that bat shit crazy woman who wants revenge on my dad and so we will have to deal with the shit she is shovelling our way and also the added worry of Mike and what demented spectacle he is going to come up with at any time, so I just don't want to throw anything else into the mix, and when I marry you I want to do it right. I want a proper wedding with all our family in attendance not a sordid rush job. Can we wait until after the baby is born and I have graduated High School and hopefully we will be on an even keel then, we have the rest of our lives together, so there's no real rush… is there?" I say.

I watch as Josh considers this and he smiles and nods.

"Ok, and I get it, I really do" he runs his fingers down my cheek, "it is true what I said you know, I forget you are only sixteen because you are incredible. You are mature and so wise for someone so young".

I snort and lean into his touch, "Yet it took my nine year old sister to make me see sense!" I say.

We sit and talk about the baby, and what our plans are for the future. Our future as a family, Josh listens as I tell him all my worries and concerns about how I am going to cope with a baby and try and graduate High School.

"Have you thought about stepping back and graduating when you should become a senior, the baby will be here then and we will be in a routine?" he asks.

I nod, "I have, but its a point of pride. My dad was so proud of me when I got moved up and I don't want to let him down, but I also feel I need to do this for me, the school thinks I'm smart enough to graduate early and I feel I don't want to throw away this opportunity and the potential it could bring, plus I also want to stick my middle finger up at all the haters who say that I was only fast tracked because my surname is Cross, and the only way to do that is to carry on and graduate with this class" I say.

Josh nods, "But please don't let stubbornness drive you to overdoing it, and taking on too much, I know what you are like. You will refuse to see sense and give in, and you'll run yourself into the ground. By all means give it your best shot, but it isn't the end of the world if you don't graduate at the end of this school year and fuck the haters, they are just jealous because they know you are smarter than them... ok?" he says.

I nod, "I hear you" I say.

Josh looks at his watch, "It's getting late, I suppose I should be heading out and see if my dad is ready to go" he says reluctantly.

I sigh, "Yes I need to go to bed too, I have to get up earlier now that I have to schedule in about half an hour with my head down the toilet every morning!" I say.

Josh looks confused for a second.

"Morning Sickness" I explain.

"Oh!" he says, "Are you really ill?" he asks with evident concern.

I nod, "For that half an hour or so all I want to do is die, but then once I'm through I start to feel better and then I'm fine for the rest of the day, unless I smell something bad which makes my stomach roil" I say.

Josh shakes his head, "I'm sorry, you have to go through that" he says.

"Hey come on" I encourage and I touch his chest. He shakes off the regret and sadness and smiles at me, he grasps my hand presses a kiss to my lips and we head out of the bedroom towards the sitting room as we approach we hear Mr Landon talking.

"I can't believe Sybil was that twisted… well yes I can. When I found out my dad was into all that kinky shit it made me ill. My mother had no idea he visited those clubs, but he liked that whipping and shit. I met her a couple of times she came to the house, he explained her away as a work colleague. I was only a little kid 7 or 8 at the most but I didn't like her, she made me uncomfortable the way she looked at me. When I was about 10/11 she stopped coming around and that was when I found out she had moved away and left New York".

Josh and I listen to Josh's father speaking, I can't believe what I am hearing, he knew that woman. We stand rooted to the spot and as we listen we look at each other in shock at what we are hearing.

"It wasn't until I was older I understood what she did with my father, it was around the time there were rumours circulating that she was linked to that paedophile ring you smashed and then it was also around that time packages started arriving for my father and I found one. I opened it and inside were photographs showing him... and her and let's just say that they were perverted. I mean I get BDSM is a lifestyle choice and everything and I am pretty broad minded but some of the stuff in those photographs that she did with my dad was much darker and twisted and that made me feel sick. I confronted him and he told me he was into all that shit when he was younger but he swore to me that he had no involvement with the paedophilia, and I believed him" there is a silence and Josh and I look at each other again.

It is broken by my uncle's voice, "Wait a moment, when you were older? How old?" he asks.

"I'm not sure around Josh's age… about 19/20ish, why?"

"We are about the same right? So, that must have been when I was at Harvard, she returned to New York periodically. I always thought it was to see me, but in reality it was... shit!" I hear the pain in my uncle's voice.

"I think I'm a year or so older than you Grey but not much, so yeah must have been around that time" Landon says.

"She was and still is a sick fuck, we need to stop her once and for all" my father says grimly.

Josh and I look at each other once more and I nod, the wordless gesture meaning we were going to head into the sitting room and make ourselves known. I try and keep it light but Josh stares at his father, "You know that woman who wants to hurt Dennie?" he asks the disgust evident in his voice.

Ryan Landon's head whips up and he looks at his son in shock, "Josh I swear to you I don't know her in that way, I know _of_ her there is a difference" he says.

"In which case you will be targeted as soon as she becomes aware of the link between our families, I heard you say she did stuff with your dad, well you do realise that she will try and use that against you? You know that don't you? She will try and blackmail you to get you on side to help her" I say.

My father stands up, "Denise please, we've got this, I don't want you worrying about this" he says.

I shake my head and hold up my hand, "No dad, we need to be aware of everything that she could possibly do and this is just something else she could use" I argue.

I see my uncle nodding in agreement and he sighs, "She's right Gideon, we can't ignore this".

A thought suddenly occurs to me and I hold up my hand again which gets everyone's attention and they all look at me. "Wait we can use this to our advantage" I say.

The three men in front of me stare at me, waiting for me to elaborate, "It's perfect!" I say the idea rapidly growing in my mind.

I start to pace as I speak excitedly, "This bitch wants revenge on dad for what she sees as him taking Uncle Christian away from her, right?" they nod at me and watch me as I continue to pace. "Well we exploit it, because who else until very recently had a very big axe to grind with my dad?"

The men stare blankly at me and after rolling my eyes at their obtuseness I give them the answer, I turn my gaze towards Ryan Landon.

"Him" I say pointing my finger at Josh's father.

I see realisation fill my father's face and Uncle Christian's and then I see Uncle Christian smile wickedly as he quickly come to the same conclusion I have.

"He is the key to this, I mean… what could be possibly be worse for him than his son getting involved with and knocking up the daughter of the man he has spent the majority of his adult life trying to ruin, he must be so distraught... " I look at Ryan Landon and speak directly to him. "My bet is she won't go the blackmail route to start with she will reach out to you instead to try and recruit you and keep the blackmail card to use should you refuse to help her, so you need to make her think you will help her and in doing so you could help us bring her down once and for all from the inside". I look from Mr Landon to my father and then Uncle Christian and understanding dawns on them all at what I am suggesting and another evil smile spreads over my uncle's face.

"You are a fucking genius!" he says bluntly as he grins at me.

I stare at him smugly, "Honestly, cursing at me again Uncle Christian?! I have never been spoken to like that before in my own home" I retort sarcastically, using his own words back at him and I tut dramatically at him. His grin breaks into a full mega watt smile and I hear my dad stifle a laugh and even Josh sniggers as he quickly catches up and realises what I am referring to, while Mr Landon just looks confused at the private joke. My uncle and father compose themselves and turn to Ryan Landon.

"What do you say, do you want to help us?" my uncle says. I watch Landon think and nod.

"She was instrumental in ruining my father's marriage, I will do anything I can to help" he says firmly.

I link my hand around Josh's arm, I'm encouraged by the response I have received to my idea more so as I realise this could help protect Josh. "Having her think she has Mr Landon on her side will also help to keep Josh safe, as she won't send her henchmen to hurt him if she is trying get Mr Landon's co-operation. Obviously we still have the issues with Mike but eliminating one area of threat can't do any harm" I say.

My father looks around, "I suggest we explore this line further tomorrow" he says firmly.

There is a consensus of agreement and a few minutes later Josh and his dad leave. My uncle and dad talk for a few minutes and then he leaves as well and heads back to his own apartment with Aunty Ana.

My dad and I stand staring at each other. "So?" I say looking up into my dad's face.

"So... it's been quite a night" he says.

I snort, "You can say that again" I say, pause a moment and then voice the concern I am suddenly feeling "are you really ok with my decision to keep my baby?" I ask.

My dad smiles at me, "Denise all I ever want is for you to be happy" he says. "I will support you and help you as much as I can" he adds, he walks towards me and wraps his arm around my shoulder.

"So I am to be a grandfather" he says wryly.

I look up at him and grin, "yeah you are, Hmm gramps... kind of suits you!" I say and I nudge him with my elbow.

I watch the look of surprise and then my dad throws his head back and laughs loudly.

**oooOOOooo**

_Two Days Later..._

I am sitting in the hospital waiting room, my father is sitting one side of me and Josh is sitting the other. Raul is standing at one end of the room and Paul is at the other, at one time I would have called this overkill but not now.

The reason for it is that we have been informed that Donny foster has now arrived back in New York and we are all on edge wondering what was going to happen and when. Over breakfast this morning before we left we had discussed with my sisters the prospect of having increased security. My dad, Raul and I had discussed it with Liv honestly, openly and at some length and she now knew that there was someone with a grudge against our dad and Uncle Christian and because of that we were all at risk, as were Aunty Ana and Phoebe. While at the same time fudging the exact details so my dad didn't have to explain his past or reveal my uncle's, although I think he has come to terms with the fact there will come a point in the not to distant future where he will have to tell Liv about his past, like he did with me.

Liv was fine with the increase in security and like me was more worried about Zoe being isolated next door whilst at school. Then we all set to work spinning the idea of increased security positively to Zoe who until this point had no idea there was any at all apart from Raul. We had initially sat her down and came up with a load of bullshit about now she was older, that it was time for her to have a CPO. She had stared at me wide eyed and confused so Liv and I had enthusiastically introduced Davis and Paul to her as our trusted CPO's who we had had for absolutely ages and wouldn't be without, and how they were like good friends to us. They had played along beautifully and this had slowly brought her round and at that point my dad had introduced Andy to her and we had all held our breath hoping she would accept the situation.

I could tell she wasn't totally sold, so thankfully I had a plan B. I decided to show her how brilliant having a CPO could be when we got home from school. I had suggested that why didn't she have Andy with her at school for today and see how she felt about it, she had agreed and armed with that agreement I had given Andy a few pointers as to winning hearts and minds and my plan was if she isn't totally sold by this afternoon I would have to make her sure and manufacture a situation where she would see how valuable having a CPO was.

But at this moment I am waiting in a hospital to be called, Josh is gripping my hand and my father is staring impassively into space.

"Miss Cross" I look up at my name being called, a nurse smiles at me and we are ushered into an office. My blood pressure, weight and height is noted and I am asked a lot of questions, then we are given a DVD to watch while we wait.

The Gynaecologist walks in and my dad stands and greets her warmly, it is obvious that he knows her, and she turns to me and smiles at me.

"Well, hello Denise, it's been a long while since I last saw you! I am Dr Henderson, how are you today?" she asks.

I smile and nod "I'm fine" I say.

She opens the file in front of her, "so you are expecting your first baby, I will be looking after you throughout your pregnancy just as I looked after your mom throughout all three of hers".

Her words make me swallow hard, the mention of my mom hitting me hard I'm not sure why but I manage a small nod. She goes on to reminisce with my dad about when my dad brought mom and me into the hospital after I had been born at the penthouse. Then she stops and smiles, looking at Josh.

"Is this dad?" she asks and Josh nods and politely extends his hand in greeting.

Everything is quickly and efficiently explained and we go through everything that needs to be done, then Dr Henderson ushers us into a back room where I take in an ultrasound scan machine. I climb on to the bed and Josh sits beside me. I realise my dad hasn't joined us; he is giving us some privacy for this moment where we see our baby for the first time. Dr Henderson asks me to remove my panties and I stare at her in shock.

"Going on the dates you have provided the only way to see the foetus at this stage is with an internal scan" she explains as she picks up a wand and shows it to me, I stare at it in shock and I see Josh stifle a grin, as Dr Henderson turns and pulls a condom over the wand I look at Josh and glare at him as his grin widens.

Dr Henderson turns back to us and with a sheet covering me she gently pushes the probe inside me, I gasp at the sensation and then turn my attention to the screen, I don't see anything at first but then Dr Henderson freezes the screen and points.

"There look, there it is that is your baby. I know it doesn't look like much at the moment, I would estimate your dates as being correct and you are about 7/8 weeks pregnant" she says.

I stare at the screen and turn to Josh who has his eyes fixed on the small blob, I squeeze his hand and he turns his face away from the monitor and looks at me and I see tears in his eyes.

"Josh I want my dad to see this" I say, "Will you fetch him please?" I ask.

Josh nods and releases me, leaving me for a moment he returns with my father at his side and he gestures to the seat he was sitting in a moment ago. Josh moves behind the chair and puts his hand on my shoulder, his attention drawn once more back to the screen.

I listen as Dr Henderson point out the baby to my dad and I watch my dad's reaction as he stares at the screen.

"This takes me back" he whispers to me. I can tell he is really emotional at this moment and trying to hang on to his control; he reaches for me and grips my hand.

"I remember when I saw the first scan of you and now I am seeing my first grandchild, I wish Eva was here to see this" he says.

He isn't speaking to anyone in particular. He almost seems away somewhere for a moment and then he visibly shakes himself and turns to me and smiles and then looks up at Josh.

"How are you feeling at this moment Josh?" he asks.

"A little overwhelmed" Josh admits.

My father nods, "It makes it real doesn't it, seeing the evidence there in front of you on the screen" he says.

We make another appointment and head back out to the waiting room where Raul and Paul stand looking grim. Raul is holding his phone reading something and as we approach he turns to my dad.

"Sir it would appear we have a slight situation" he says.

"What?" my father asks immediately on alert.

Raul hands his phone to my dad who starts to read, I see him relax slightly and shake his head. "Well it is the truth for once, and it was inevitable that the news was going to get out at some point" he says in a resigned tone of voice.

"What's happened?" I ask, my dad looks at me and smiles sympathetically.

"It would appear news of your pregnancy has reached the media" he says and hands me Raul's phone so I can see it for myself. I stare at the gossip website which is displaying a photograph of us arriving at the hospital. Josh steps closer and reads it with me.

The headline is crass but also true. It simply says _'GRANDPA GIDEON? BILLIONAIRES DAUGHTER TO BE A TEEN MOM'_ and I quickly read the article;

_Compelling evidence has reached us here at the New York Nooz that there is to be the patter of tiny feet in the Cross household and if these pictures snapped this morning of Gideon Cross escorting his teenage daughter Denise, 16, into the pre natal department of Mount Sinai Hospital here in New York are anything to go by no confirmation is needed._

_It is interesting to note that the Cross's were joined by Joshua Landon, 20, the son of millionaire businessman Ryan Landon, CEO of LanCorp Inc. _

_There have been rumours of a blossoming relationship between Landon and Cross for a while as the young love birds have been seen together frequently for a few months now and it appears they haven't wasted any time in adding a chick to their love nest. We have to wonder what the reaction of Ryan Landon is to this news. Sources tell us that he and his son were seen arriving at the Cross residence yesterday evening and staying for a considerable time. Landon senior whose father the late Eric Landon lost millions in the crooked ponzi scheme fronted by the late Geoffrey Cross has long since held a grudge on behalf of his father and made his dislike of the entire Cross family well known and in particular his animosity was aimed at Gideon Cross, with numerous public outbursts. However, it does need to be noted that hostilities have thawed considerably between the two businessmen in recent times after it came to light that it was actually Geoffrey Cross's brother Joel who had fathered Gideon. It was also around that time that Cross also discovered that he had a half brother in the shape of Seattle billionaire Christian Grey and it was revealed he too was fathered and abandoned by Joel Cross. Grey who is also currently in New York on business was also seen earlier arriving at the Cross Penthouse yesterday presumably visiting his brother and nieces with his wife Anastasia and his ever present head of security Jason Taylor._

_So, what do we make of this? It would appear to be a regular Romeo and Juliet story lets just hope it doesn't end in tragedy, but given the tender age of the two, the odds aren't good. We will of course bring you more details as we receive them._

I hand the phone back to Raul and look at my dad, "I've embarrassed you haven't I?" I say quietly.

My father shakes his head, "Denise I won't lie, it would have been better if this hadn't happened but it is what it is. I'm not ashamed of you if that is what you are thinking, I could never be ashamed of you" he stares at me those astonishing blue eyes just like mine boring into me.

Josh wraps his arm around me, "I just wish they hadn't dug up all that crap about the past" he grumbles.

My dad lets out a humourless laugh, "Oh every time something hits the media regarding your father and I, the fact your grandfather lost money to Geoffrey Cross is dredged up, that and that Geoffrey Cross turned out _not_ to be my dad those are sadly the inevitabilities in life, I will never be able to escape what Geoffrey or Joel Cross did" he says bitterly.

"Sir we appear to have a number of paps waiting outside the hospital, my suggestion would be to leave from the rear of the building" Raul says.

My dad nods and Paul disappears to bring the car around.

We drop Josh off at college and before he gets out he turns and kisses me soundly. "I'll see you later?" he asks and I nod.

"Yeah sure" I reply and with that he is gone.

My dad who is sitting in the front of the car with Paul turns to speak to me.

"Don't worry about this Denise, I'll handle it. I'll speak to Landon and we will put out a joint statement or something" he says.

"Ok" I reply.

We pull up outside the school and my father gets out and hugs me, "I'll see you later too" he says as he touches my cheek.

I feel suddenly very emotional and I hug him tightly, unwilling to let him go.

"Hey come on" he says gently, "I need to get to work and you need to get to school" he adds.

I nod and pull my bag decisively onto my shoulder. I watch him climb into the second SUV with Raul and drive away. I head inside just as a lesson period is ending and people are swarming out of classrooms to their next lessons. I catch sight of Davis and realise Liv must be somewhere close, I scan the corridor and sea of faces for my sister, and I quickly spot her.

"LIV" I shout, I see her stop and turn her head towards me and she grins.

"Hi how did you get on?" she asks.

"It was amazing" I reply I pull her to one side and dig in my bag for the scan picture Dr Henderson gave us, she takes it from me and stares at it.

"I don't see anything?" she says.

I laugh, "Neither did I till it was pointed out" I say as I point at the blob, "You see that there" I say, Liv peers at the picture and nods.

"That's it, that's my baby" I say.

"Seriously?" she says.

"Yeah" I reply.

"Doesn't look like a baby" she says.

I laugh again, "No it won't yet its too early, the doctor says I'm about 7/8 weeks or something like that, she said that it won't begin to look like a baby till about 12 weeks" I explain.

"What did Josh say?" Liv asks.

"He was overwhelmed by it all, he has a copy of this picture too" I say smiling at the memory. "Dad was too, he said how it reminded him of when he first saw me on the screen when mom was pregnant with me" I say.

Liv hands back the picture "So that is my niece or nephew?" she says.

I grin at her and nudge her shoulder, "yeah... Aunty Liv!" I say.

She shakes her head, "I'm too young to be an aunty, shit that means Zoe will be an aunty too!" she says.

I nod, "She will and she is definitely too young to be an aunty, I guess that means I'm really too young to be a mom!" I say and my smile fades as I say it.

Liv hugs me, "Hey, come on you are going to be a brilliant mom, you may only be 16 but you were only 12 when you stepped up for us when mom died. Look how you handed everything, look how you managed to hold dad together those first few weeks, look how you helped Zoe when she was being bullied look at the way you helped me when I got my first period and when that boy was hassling me, if you hadn't been there I wouldn't have had anyone".

I shake my head, "That's not true, Aunty Ireland, Aunty Mia and Aunty Ana have always been there too, granted it has mainly been at the end of the phone but they have always made themselves available for us" I say.

Liv's head whips up and her eyes widen, "Oh that reminds me, Uncle Ethan rang this morning, just after you and dad had left, Aunty Mia has had her baby, it's a little girl, he sounded so happy" she says, I watch as she thinks for a moment, "She was born in the early hours of this morning, erm... 2.25 I think he said – Seattle time obviously. They have called her Abigail Jade and she was, erm... 7 pound something in weight, Uncle Ethan said he'd call back later to talk to dad. I sent him a text to tell him.

"That's fantastic news" I say, I quickly pull out my phone and send a text to my Aunty Mia and Uncle Ethan sending my congratulations.

"Look I need to get to my next lesson I am going to be late" Liv says as Davis coughs discreetly behind us.

I nod and hug her once more before making my way to my own lesson.


	16. Chapter 16

CHAPTER 16

**(RAUL)**

"Jason my good man, talk to me, and tell me some good news!" I say as I answer my phone. I have just delivered Cross to his office and I now I am in the process of evaluating the latest information on that fucker Foster who is now back in New York.

I hear the deep throaty laugh of Jason Taylor come down the line to me. "Oh trust me it is very good news, I got a call from my buddy Jeff this morning, Elena is in the prison infirmary. Nothing to do with us I assure you. Apparently she picked a fight with someone, tried to be all dominant badass and got hers well and truly beat. She is in a bad way by all accounts; broken jaw, collar bone, ribs and arm, busted nose and she has also lost a few teeth. When I told Grey, he asked if I had actually gone ahead and put in Denise's special request.

I start to laugh, "Seriously?! You are kidding me? Oh my god that has made my day" I say. "I'll let Cross know, that will definitely cheer him up?" I add.

"Cheer him up, why?" Jason says.

"Oh, the media spotted Cross taking Denise to the hospital today and the fact they were strolling into the pre natal department along with Josh Landon in tow, they put two and two together and for once they were spot on and came up with four. Needless to say it's all over the gossip pages but I think he got a little pissed off with the fact the history between the two families was raked over again and they even had to mention the fact Geoffrey Cross wasn't his father and that Grey was his brother and that he was also here in New York at the moment" I explain.

"Jeez I bet they will be all over that then... poor kid" Jason says.

"Yeah, we had to leave the hospital from a back entrance because there were a load of paps out front. I feel for that girl, she is strong but there is only so much crap one person can take before they snap. I don't deny the fact she made a mistake getting pregnant, but hell Jason they were being careful, that's the real kicker, the fact they were doing the right thing and being sensible. She has been through so much; poor kid was only twelve when Eva died and she pretty much took on the role of mom to her sisters for a long while when Cross fell apart completely. That first day after Eva died he locked himself in his room and wouldn't come out and drank himself into oblivion. He was a complete fucking mess and that girl... that twelve year old child held it together put aside her own grief and after spending a good couple of hours trying herself to persuade him to come out she called her grandfather and uncle to try and help her get him out and in the end she took it on herself to call Seattle and got Grey to shout some sense into him down the damn phone. She was a fucking trooper throughout the funeral she was a rock for Cross, right by his side all the way through the arrangements saying what Eva would have liked and supporting him. Then afterwards Cross seemed to withdraw and go back to his pre Eva days, living for work. I mean he didn't neglect the girls as such, I mean he was there and he went to school stuff and played the part but he wasn't there for them. It was inevitable she would turn to someone looking for the love and affection she was obviously craving and not getting from her dad. Thank god it was someone as sensible and steady as Josh, and not someone who could've taken advantage of her. He is a good kid, as I say they both are and its shit that this has happened to them. I've known her since she was born well I've watched them all grow up from the start but there is something special about her. She is a phenomenal person. I have only ever seen her show any weakness once throughout these past few months and that was when she had what looked like a panic attack in the car one day. I do worry though that when the point comes that she can't handle any more and she does snap, well... I dread to even think about it" I say soberly.

"Yeah, I agree. I admire her, for me it was the way she put Grey in his place in the summer that was beautiful. Nobody has ever stood up to him and spoke to him like that and I mean ever. The closest was Ana in the early days when he fucked things up with her but what Denise did was on another level, but she saw the problem and she fixed it and he should be damned grateful to her as his relationship with Phoebe was at rock bottom. You know what strikes me about her, I always thought she was Cross's female clone I mean physically she is the image of him, but as she has grown up her temperament is more Eva don't you think?" Jason says.

"I agree" I say, "When she was younger she was so composed and icy, almost remote, but as she has matured I see Eva in her more and more and loyal, fuck man she is damned loyal to her family. I'll never forget that day she took on Elizabeth Cross, I walked into that school yard and she was laying into her after she bad mouthed Eva shortly after she died. She doesn't care who she takes on, that is all Eva coming out in her, as she was the same. You know what my biggest fear is about this whole Sybil Hanson business. I am scared at some point she is just going to take it into her head to fly herself to Washington and go bawl Sybil out herself" I say.

I hear Jason snort with laughter again. "Do I need to tell Jeff to keep an eye out for her?!" he says.

"No I think I've got it!" I reply. "Anyway, seriously now, is that everything?" I ask.

"No, there's one more thing; Barney has managed to hack the school security system and set up a visual and audio feed of the Vice Principals office directly to me. Fuck knows how the guy did it and for legal reasons I really don't want to either, but now I know exactly what happens in that Vice Principals office as she is doing it in real time. Every call, every conversation, we are totally all over the bitch" he says confidently.

"That's fantastic" I reply.

"Yeah anything suspect and I'll inform you and girl's CPO's immediately but other than that I'll give you daily briefings when we have our usual discussion. Does that sound ok?" he asks.

"Perfect, thank you my friend. I will tell Cross, I'm heading up there now" I say.

"No problem, Grey has decided we are heading back to Seattle tomorrow so I am around today if anything urgent crops up which needs my input" Jason says.

With that I thank him and say goodbye and kill the call. I chuckle once more at Sybil's unfortunate accident and make my way upstairs to tell Cross.

**(GIDEON)**

I sit back in my chair with a smug sense of satisfaction, I smile and slowly a small laugh bubbles up and erupts from my mouth.

"I don't believe it! That is priceless" I say to Raul.

"Isn't it just!" Raul replies with a grin, "I am sure Denise will appreciate that news too" he adds.

"It couldn't have happened to a nicer person!" I say.

Raul continues to brief me on the other details of Taylor's call and I am happy that we now seem to be all over everything and on top of anything that could possibly happen.

I dismiss Raul and glance at my watch. Christian and Ryan Landon are coming to meet me shortly for lunch and we are going to discuss the idea which Denise put forward. Denise should be on her lunch break at school and I take a moment to chance a call to her.

"Hello dad, what's up?" she says and I smile at the sound of her voice.

"Hello sweetheart, how are you?" I ask, ignoring her question.

"I'm fine honestly" she says, "What's up? Why are you calling?" she asks again.

"I have some news which I think will interest you" I say.

"Oh?" she asks.

"Yes first of all I am about to meet my brother and Josh's father for lunch and we are going to talk over the idea you came up with last night, secondly I've just had an interesting chat with Raul. Jason Taylor rang, apparently Barney has managed to sort out and set up the things you suggested" I am careful not to talk in detail over the phone about specifics in this case, "and finally something which I am sure you will appreciate, Sybil Hanson is in the prison infirmary after being beaten to a pulp by a fellow prisoner" I say.

"Noooo!" Denise gasps, I hear a sharp bark of laughter and I smile again.

"She is" I confirm, "apparently from what Jason was told she started throwing her weight around with someone and came off worse, she's pretty beat up according to Jason, she has a list of broken bones and a few missing teeth".

"Good" Denise says.

I look up as my office door opens and I see my brother standing in the doorway. I nod at him in greeting and watch as he strolls in and settles himself on my sofa.

"Listen sweetheart, I have to go now as my brother has just arrived but I just thought I'd let you know" I say.

"No worries dad, thanks for calling and telling me that has made my day, say hi to Uncle Christian for me" she says.

"I will, bye sweetheart" I say.

"Bye dad, see you later" she says and then she is gone.

I push my phone into my pocket and standing up I look across at my brother.

"Denise I take it?" he says and I nod.

"Yes, she said to say hello" I say.

"How did she get on this morning at the hospital?" he asks, as I pour us both a generous glass of bourbon.

I immediately reach into my inside pocket and pull out my copy of the scan picture and hand it to my brother, he takes it from me and looks at the small blob.

"Meet my grandchild" I say proudly, I also hand him a glass of bourbon.

He smiles and thanks me; as I sit down beside him he hands back the picture.

"Mia has had her baby today" he says suddenly, I remember the text I received from Liv and I nod.

"Yes, I know Ethan called the Penthouse this morning shortly after Denise and I had left for the hospital. Liv took the call and text me, I sent him a text of congratulations" I pause "Listen, are you really ok with Denise's decision to keep the baby?" I ask.

He nods, "I'm fine with it honestly, I think I probably helped her make her mind up in the end, Ana said I was cold towards Landon and she also said it was a baby's life not a business acquisition, from that I'm thinking I may have fucked things up somewhat" he says with a shrug.

"I think she always had the desire to raise the baby herself she was just unsure of taking that leap, plus she is so damn stubborn so the fact Josh was pushing for her to keep the baby had her naturally kicking against it, she doesn't like to be told what to do. She likes to make her decisions by herself" I say evasively.

Christian smiles at me, "Thank you for not agreeing with me" he says.

I grin at him "No problem" I say, my smile fades as remember the events of the previous night and something which has been niggling at me since then "I have to say I am a little concerned by Landon's reaction, he was quite vocal last night. I have this feeling he is going to be in Josh's ear and butting in and trying to take over under the guise of being a concerned grandfather" I say.

"You saw that too? He got my back up immediately with his whining and insistence about being involved, which is why I reacted like I did, unfortunately I think I may have alienated Denise as well" Christian says.

I shake my head, "No, she was always wavering, I am choosing to believe it was what Zoe said to her that made her mind up for her in the end" I say. "Is Ana ok with Denise's decision?" I ask.

Christian nods firmly, "She's fine, she said that Denise will be a wonderful mother and she only made the offer to stop Denise going through with the termination, because she believed she would have regretted it" he says.

Then he leans forward and fixes me with that laser like grey eyed stare. "Look call me out of line here, but there is something I don't trust about Landon – Ryan Landon that is, Josh is a good boy and I believe he will do the right thing by Denise, but Ryan…" he pauses and shakes his head. "There is something I can't put my finger on, I'm a pretty good judge of character and something just doesn't sit right with me. I'm even more on my guard after last night, the way he practically demanded access to the child and then his revelations about Elena. I think Denise's idea was a good one, and I think he will help us to a point, to protect Josh but the minute he thinks he is better off on team Elena he'll be gone, you mark my words. So I suggest we keep him on a tight rein" he says.

I sit back and consider what he has said. I too have trust issues with Landon and was feeling slightly paranoid about his about turn and accommodating behaviour, but I assumed it was down the fact we had been arch enemies for years and the sudden shift from that state of affairs to our present relationship was fucking with my mind. I nod but don't make any comment.

My intercom clicks and I hear Scott's voice, "Mr Cross, Mr Landon has arrived for your lunchtime appointment" he says.

I stand and walk over to my desk, "Show him in" I say. I reach for my jacket and pull it on.

"I think you are right about Landon" I say quietly to Christian and he nods. A look passes between us and the silent acceptance that we will be on our guard.

My office door opens and in strolls Ryan Landon grinning widely.

"Hello, Gideon, Christian" he says his hand outstretched. My brother steps forward and shakes his hand and nods. I look at Christian, he has his game face on not giving anything away. I step forward and greet Landon.

"Hello Ryan" I say politely.

I pause and reach inside my pocket for the scan picture and hand it to him.

"Our first grandchild" I say as he takes the picture from me and stares at it.

I see him smile briefly but I can't help but feel something is off with it, it didn't seem totally sincere and I take a shot look at Christian who raises his eyebrows, he noticed it too.

"Josh has a copy of the picture for you" I say. I walk over to the decanters and offer Landon a drink.

Landon nods in acceptance and hands the picture back to me. He hasn't said a word yet and I wonder why. I pass him a drink and he mutters a small thank you.

"Shall we eat" I ask gesturing to the food on a table nearby.

"Josh was quite upset about my link to Sybil Hanson" Landon eventually says, as we move over to the table with the catered buffet lunch set out on it.

"I can imagine he was" Christian says tersely. "After everything we told you both about her and what she was, to then find out his own grandfather did things with her must have been quite a shock" he says.

I watch Landon carefully as we fill our plates with food and then go and sit down in the seating area. He doesn't make any response to Christian's comments.

"The press have got wind of the fact Denise is pregnant" I say switching direction.

"I know, I saw the pictures and the story on the New York Nooz this morning, for once they are correct, what do you suggest we do?" he asks looking at me.

"I think that is obvious, we release a joint statement confirming the relationship between Josh and Denise and that they are having a baby. We can't hide the fact, it would've been better if we could've kept it under wraps for a while but it wasn't to be, so we confirm. We keep it short and concise but make it clear they have both family's support" I say.

Landon nods, "Fine" he says and takes a bite out of a sandwich.

"What are your thoughts on this situation?" I ask leaning forward curious to discover just what he thinks about the baby.

He shrugs, "I can't say I was pleased when they came to my office and told me. I was shocked that they could be that stupid if I am honest. But after Josh explained the situation to me, I can see it was a genuine mistake and they were being sensible. I won't lie I would sooner they hadn't been intimate at all after all Denise is only sixteen but it is what it is. I will say I am a little concerned about Denise constantly changing her mind about what she is going to do though, is she really mature enough to handle this life changing event?" he says.

I bristle with anger at his words, "You listen to me Landon" I snap, "My daughter was considering all the options she had, and she went through them all giving them all careful contemplation before reaching the one she was happiest with. As you say this is a life changing event and she wanted to be sure she was making the correct decision. That in my mind shows her maturity, she was open minded enough to consider everything, and not blindly follow one path, which unless I am much mistaken was your son's reaction".

Landon opens his mouth to speak but I hold my hand up. "My daughter is an incredible girl, yes I may be biased as her father but with all due respect you don't know her, to say she is immature is laughable, and just goes to show how little you know her" I stop and glare at him fiercely.

Landon seems taken aback by my outburst and quickly starts back peddling. "I didn't mean anything by it, I admit I don't know Denise well. Josh assures me she will be a good mother and I just hope that his faith in her isn't misplaced, but Josh knows he has my full support should Denise not be up to the task of motherhood". Landon stops and what he has just said hits me, my mind starts working furiously going over everything he has said and his behaviour the previous evening and it hits me, he wants the baby. He wants custody of the baby. Then I come to a chilling realisation - he has never let go of his animosity towards us and he has seen this as his chance at the ultimate revenge towards us, his chance of getting a pound of Cross flesh, literally! This is sick using a human life in his vendetta against the Cross family. At this moment I am thankful I have a damn good poker face, but inside I am in turmoil.

"She won't, I have every faith she will be an excellent mother and she has my full support" I say coolly and Christian leans forward.

"Denise has the full support of her entire family" he says, leaving me with no doubt that he too has figured out Landon's angle.

Ryan Landon smiles "That is good to know and of course, I have promised her unlimited access to my resources, my son is this baby's father and as such we... erm he should have a say in how he or she is raised, I know Josh has asked Denise to marry him" he says.

I smile, "and I know Denise has turned him down" I say. "She told him she doesn't want to marry yet, and at sixteen I totally agree with her. She said she wants to wait and Josh has accepted her decision, also I don't believe we should interfere with that or with them as parents. It is up to Josh and Denise to raise their baby as they see fit, we just need to step back and be there to offer support should it be needed which is what a grandparents role is" I say. Denise had talked to me about that discussion and asked my opinion on it and I had agreed with her and with what she had decided.

This seems to take Landon back slightly, "Josh told me he had asked her to marry him and that Denise had said she wanted a proper wedding not a rush job" he says. I can't help but notice he has ignored the majority of what I just said, focussing on the marriage aspect.

I nod, "She did, but she also told him, that there was no rush, she told him she wanted to wait as she had too much going on at the moment to take on anything else. She wants to graduate – she is very proud of the fact she is graduating early and doesn't want to throw away that opportunity, she said she wants to wait until after she has graduated and the baby has been born and she said she wanted a proper wedding not a rush job, but she doesn't want it yet. She said there was plenty of time and that they had their whole lives there was no need to rush and I have to say I totally support that decision, and it would appear so does Josh" I say smugly.

I watch his reaction to this news carefully and he reacts the way I expect he looks pissed but tries to hide it.

"Anyway, I suggest a joint statement I'll get my PR team on it now, and by the time you leave we should have a workable statement and we can release it simultaneously" I say.

Landon nods. "Yes of course" he stammers.

"I think we should turn our attention to Elena" Christian says stepping in.

"I'm not sure about this" Landon says suddenly.

Christian and I stare at him, "Why?" I ask.

"I don't want to do anything to endanger Josh or the baby... and Denise of course" he says.

"But agreeing to do this would help keep Josh safe" Christian argues.

Landon shakes his head, "I'm not so sure, if she finds out I am double crossing her she will pursue revenge more fiercely than ever" he says.

Christian leans back, "Well it's your decision but you do realise, now that you are fully aware of the details we will be keeping tabs on you and if you do make contact with Elena we will know about it" he says.

"Are you threatening me Grey?" Landon snaps.

Christian shakes his head, "not at all, I am telling you what is going to happen. We can't take any chances so we will keep tabs on you, we will tail you and if necessary we will send in someone with you whether you like it or not if you make contact with Elena, and you will have to explain it" he says.

"You are an arrogant son of a bitch Grey" Landon says coldly.

"So I've been told" my brother retorts with a dismissive shrug, "but when it comes to the safety of my family there is no compromise" he adds the warning crystal clear.

"I don't appear to have any choice do I" Landon says in a resigned tone.

I watch Christian shrug, "If you want what is best for your son and grandchild it's a no brainer" he says.

I notice he has deliberately omitted Denise from that and I know it was a message to me rather than Landon that he knows what his game is.

We talk a while longer and get his agreement on a number of issues but this meeting has made me all the more suspicious of him. By the time he is ready to leave I have received a draft of the statement from the PR department and I quickly read it.

'_Further to the claims made today in certain areas of the media, Gideon Cross has confirmed that his eldest daughter Denise Cross is indeed expecting her first child with Joshua Landon._

_Both families although surprised by these unexpected events are supporting the young couple completely and ask that the media respects their privacy_'.

"I think that is adequate" I say and hand it to Landon to read, "you will obviously change the wording for yourself" I add.

I watch Landon nod, as he pulls out his phone and call his PR department, he reads my statement and asks that it be used but worded to suit his involvement he looks at me as he tells them to release the statement at 3pm, and I nod in agreement. I inform my PR department of the 3pm release and return my attention back to Landon, who is standing and looking at his watch.

"Thank you for lunch Cross, but I need to be going now. I have an appointment shortly and I need to get back" he says.

I nod and he shakes my hand before turning to my brother.

"Grey" he says curtly, but offers his hand nevertheless.

I watch as Christian accepts it and silently nods a response. As soon as Landon is gone, Christian turns to me.

"Watch that fucker!" he snaps, "He wants that baby" he adds.

I nod, "You got that too, I'm glad I thought it was just my over active imagination" I say with relief.

Christian shakes his head, "No the way I see it is he can see this as his chance to get the revenge on you he has wanted for years" he says.

"Those were my thoughts too" I say quietly, "How the fuck do I tell Denise this?" I ask and sit down sharply.

"Tell her the truth" Christian says to me.

"She doesn't fucking need this on top of everything else" I say.

"I agree with you, but she needs to know what she could be potentially facing" he says.

I nod, "Thanks for being here bro" I say.

"No problem, but I need to get going now. I'm heading back to Seattle tomorrow, so I'll drop by tonight with Ana and we can spend some time together if you like?" he says.

"I'd like that" I reply. I stand and embrace my brother and he slaps me on the back.

**(CHRISTIAN)**

As I leave the Crossfire, my mind is whirling, I can see my brother was gutted by what had happened, and I could also see he was blaming himself somewhat for what Denise was now facing. I had repeatedly told him not to be so damn stupid and that Landon's epic grudge was down to the actions of Geoffrey Cross and therefore nothing to do with him and if Landon was deranged enough to keep this desire for revenge going and in the process take on the combined might of him and me then bring it on.

My brother had pointed out the way Landon had stood up to Microsoft and won but I wasn't concerned as that was business, with rules and regulations. Whereas we are dealing with something inherently personal and it wasn't beneath me to play dirty. We talked things over and I offered to initially tell Denise our suspicions. My brother had agreed but made me promise to bring Denise to him if she became distressed.

So here I am in my car and I call Raul and fill him in on our suspicions about Landon and tell him what he said about the baby and how my brother and I are certain that his motives are angled towards revenge. Raul is shocked but assures me he will do his best to handle everything.

"One more thing Raul" I say before I hang up. "I'd like to accompany you when you pick up Denise from school today" I say.

"Not a problem Mr Grey, where shall I pick you up from?" he asks.

"I'll follow you with Taylor, I want to talk to Denise alone and you'll have Olivia and Zoe to take care of, she will be under Taylor's security so she will be perfectly safe" I say.

"That's fine Mr Grey" he says.

I head back to the apartment and to my study where I call Seattle and speak to Ros checking in on anything I have missed at GEH.

An idea forms in my mind as I am talking to Ros and I make a casual remark, it is an idea I had previously and made a start with many years ago soon after I discovered Gideon was my brother but I had put it on the back boiler when Landon had toned down his vendetta against my brother.

"Ros, I want you to look into the shares of LanCorp for me, I already have a substantial share but want you to start buying up all the shares you can get your hands on, but don't make it look too obvious" I say.

"Ok, may I ask why?" she asks.

"They are in direct competition with my brother" I say evasively.

"I see so this is personal?" Ros asks with a certain bite to her comment.

"Do you have a problem with that?" I ask.

"Not at all, but what has Ryan Landon done to upset you?" she asks.

She knows me so well, I sigh, "Just do it" I snap.

"Consider it done" she replies.

"Good, thank you, and while you are at it try and get some of the major share holders to sell their stake in LanCorp, again with discretion" I say.

"Ok I'm on it" she replies.

I hang up and busy myself with some other ongoing projects, until I am distracted by Taylor who knocks and stands looking expectantly at me.

"What is it?" I ask.

"You wanted to meet Denise from school sir?" he says.

I nod, I hadn't realised it was that late, I immediately stand and come out and save what I am doing.

"Thank you Taylor" I say and follow him from the room.

I quickly text Ana, she is out shopping for something for Mia's baby.

We pull up outside the school and Raul is already there waiting, he is texting and moments later I see Zoe appear with her CPO, she is relaxed and chatting with him and I smile that she has appeared to accept the new regime. She sees me and she grins widely and stepping away from Andy she breaks into a sprint. He immediately is on alert but relaxes as he recognises me.

"UNCLE CHRISTIAN!" She squeals, I catch her as she launches herself at me. She turns to Taylor who is standing beside me and grins at him, "Hi Jason" she adds and I watch as Taylor grins at her and says hello.

"Hello Zoe did you have a good day at school?" I ask.

She nods, "Uncle Christian this is Andy he is my erm..." she pauses and looks at Andy who smiles at her.

"CPO" he says to her quietly as if he is giving her the answer without letting me know, I see Raul grin.

Zoe looks at me, "my CPO, now I'm getting older, I have to have one just like Liv and Dennie" she explains.

I nod, "I see well I think that is a really good idea" I say.

She looks at Taylor, "Jason are you Uncle Christian's CPO?" she asks.

"I am Zoe" he replies.

She nods an expression of complete seriousness on her face, "That's a good idea because I mean if I am getting old enough to have a CPO Uncle Christian definitely is because he's _really_ old like dad!" she says.

I watch Raul and Taylor desperately trying to keep a straight face and I see Andy stifle a snort of laughter and turn his head away. I bite my lip and shake my head.

"Come on Zoe get in the car" Raul says and reluctantly Zoe detaches herself from me and climbs into the back of the SUV, I watch and listen as the three security men pull themselves together and Andy briefs Raul and tells him Zoe appears to have accepted his presence.

"UNCLE CHRISTIAN!" I look up at the shout as Liv and Denise approach they both hug me and I press a kiss to each of their cheeks.

"What are you doing here, dad's ok isn't he?" Denise immediately asks the alarm evident in her voice and on her face.

I nod, "Everything is fine, and can't a man come and meet his nieces from school?" I say with a grin.

Olivia laughs and hugs me once more, "Of course you can" she says, but Denise looks at me suspiciously and I know she isn't buying it.

"Besides I want to hear all about your hospital appointment today Denise" I say.

"Sure" she says still looking closely at me.

"Will you ride with me, I need to talk to you?" I ask her quietly after Olivia has climbed into the SUV. She nods and then holds her hand up before opening the car door.

"I'll see you two at home, I'm riding with Uncle Christian he wants to talk to me about something" she says.

She closes the door and walks with me to the SUV we both climb into the back and as she shuts the door and fastens her belt she turns to me.

"Ok what's up, I knew this wasn't a social visit?" she says.

I sigh and I grasp her hand tightly. "Denise, I have no idea if I am doing the right thing here, but I believe you need to know something, now before I start, I want to make it clear I don't believe Josh is involved with this in any way but I do believe that he will be used as a pawn as time goes on if my suspicions are correct" I say.

Denise looks scared "What's going on?" she asks.

"Your dad and I had a meeting today with Ryan Landon and he said some things which gave us cause for concern" I say "about you and the baby" I add, and then I stop and wait for a moment while she processes that.

"Go on" she says and I can see she is on edge about this.

"It is my opinion – and your father came to the same conclusion without me saying anything to him, that Ryan Landon is going to try and use your baby as an opportunity to get his revenge on your father for what Geoffrey Cross did to his father" I say. She stares at me as if I am crazy and I have to admit what I have just said does sound a little crazy so I continue to explain.

"He suggested you weren't mature enough to handle motherhood, which is totally ridiculous as you are one of the most mature sixteen year olds I have ever come across, and he made insinuations that to me and your father sounded like he was going to try his best to remove the baby from you" I say.

I watch as Denise gasps and her hand goes to her stomach. "No" she whispers.

I nod my head, "I swear to you Denise, I wish I didn't have to tell you this but both your father and I heard the message in his words loud and clear, your dad thought he was just being overly sensitive and paranoid considering the history between the Cross's and the Landon's but I got it too and I will say, after last night where he was a little _too_ concerned about getting access to the baby which first set alarm bells ringing for me and it got me wondering what his angle was. Now my worry is he is going to be whispering in Josh's ear and not only put doubts there with regard to your suitability as mother to his child but to try and use Josh to help him get custody of the baby, he also kept pushing the fact Josh had asked you to marry him and got quite pissed when we kept telling him it wasn't going to happen for a while, as I think that was initially his first plan of attack as it would give him a foot in if you were actually married to Josh" I stop I hate this, she looks shattered I watch her thinking and then she looks at me.

"What did he say, what exactly did he say?" she asks. I watch her as her lip trembles and her words are shaky she is trying to hold it together, and I really don't want to tell her what that fucker said. I don't want to be the one who destroys her.

"Please, Uncle Christian just tell me what he said" she asks again.

I think back to our meeting and I close my eyes as I recall the conversation, "he said, I will say I am a little concerned about Denise constantly changing her mind about what she is going to do though, is she really mature enough to handle this life changing event? Your dad firmly put him in his place saying he didn't know you very well if he thought that which produced a certain amount of back peddling, but he then went on to say, Josh assures me she will be a good mother and I just hope that his faith in her isn't misplaced, but Josh knows he has my full support should Denise not be up to the task of motherhood" I say, I open my eyes and I see Denise is sitting staring at me tears in her eyes.

"I can't believe it" she whispers, I pull her close.

"I didn't do this to hurt you Denise, I felt you needed to know so you could be on your guard, your dad is distraught he didn't know how to break this to you so we decided I would" I say.

She nods at me. "And you really think Josh isn't involved, you said earlier you didn't think he was?" she asks in a small voice, I can hear the desperate hope as she says this.

I shake my head, "No I don't, but I do believe Ryan Landon will use his influence as his father to plant seeds of doubt in his mind as to your suitability as a mother" I say.

"So let me get this straight, what you are saying is Ryan Landon has decided to use my baby as his excuse to finally get revenge on my dad for what Geoffrey Cross did years ago to his dad, he is going to try and say I'm an unfit mother and take my baby away from me" she says tears starting to fall.

I nod, "That is our assumption, now we could be totally wrong, but after everything he said this would be the natural conclusion and one which we can't ignore" I say.

Denise nods, and then looks me straight in the eye, "So how do I stop him?" she asks.

"Keep on top of the things Josh says to you, if he starts making demands or starts being unreasonable, question him and call him out on it. Ask him where his thoughts are coming from. Whatever you do don't marry Josh, don't even give the baby his surname when it's born, don't give them any doorway which they can walk through. Thankfully you have already made your position clear that you want to wait to marry Josh so that is a good start, you can keep stalling him until we have worked out a way to stop his dad once and for all, and Josh has accepted your decision so if he suddenly starts being unreasonable you will know his father has been getting to him, but you have my word Denise I won't allow anyone to take your baby from you against your will" I say.

I see a steely look in her eyes as she nods her head and I marvel at how strong she is, the shit that keeps being shovelled her way and she just wades through it and gets on with it.

"I want to talk to my dad will you take me to him please?" she asks. I nod and tell Taylor to drive us to the Crossfire.

When we arrive I escort her to Gideon's office, as we approach we see him talking with a few members of his staff, he looks up and immediately dismisses them, striding out of his office his eyes firmly on Denise he is obviously anxious and worried about her.

"Denise are you alright?" he asks.

At his words Denise dissolves into tears and I feel her knees buckle it is only my arm around her which stops her falling to the floor.

"Come on baby girl" my brother says gently as he pulls her towards him, I watch as he leads her into his office and moments later the door shuts and the glass walls frost. I turn to Taylor.

"We'll wait here until she is ready to go home" I say and Taylor nods. I notice he hasn't taken his eyes off of Denise, and my normally stoic head of security looks upset at what he has witnessed.

He turns to look at me, "Permission to speak freely sir?" he asks.

I nod, he takes a deep breath and he points towards Gideon's office, "I'm worried about that girl, and so is Raul. We were talking about it earlier, there is only so much a person can take before they snap, and in my opinion that girl is perilously close to her breaking point" he says.

I nod in agreement with him, "I know, I was thinking the same thing, nobody should have to go through what she has and continues to" I say.

**(GIDEON)**

My heart sinks as I see Christian and Denise approaching my office.

"Excuse me gentlemen we will carry on with this later" I say immediately to my project managers, they nod and file out of my office and I walk towards my daughter who looks totally shredded.

"Denise are you alright?" I ask even though she looks anything but, my words break her and she trembles shaking her head, she starts to cry and I see Christian struggle to hold her up as she slumps suddenly. I quickly step forward and pull her towards me.

"Come on baby girl" I say and lead her slowly into my office, I settle her on my sofa and then go to my desk and press the control panel which closes the door and frosts the glass wall. I go to the mini fridge and pull out a bottle of water and hand it to her, which she accepts with a shaking hand.

"Thank you" she whispers.

I sit beside her and pull her close, she rests her head on my shoulder and at this moment I am at a loss to know what to say or do to make her feel better. Once again I find myself wishing Eva was here to help me.

She rubs her tears away and sniffs and then she fumbles for a tissue. I reach into my pocket and fish out my handkerchief and offer it to her, she accepts it and blows her nose. She goes to hand it back to me, but I push her hand away.

"I'm good, you keep it!" I say looking for some levity, to my relief she takes it and giggles smiling through the tears.

"Yeah, you're probably right" she says as she stuffs the handkerchief into her pocket. She looks up at me "Uncle Christian told me what Ryan Landon said" she says.

I nod unable to offer her any words of comfort or reassurance.

Still resting her head against me she starts to talk, "I'm glad he did, if I'm honest I have never really liked him, there has always been something which seems off about him, I always got the impression that although he seemed to want to put the past behind us and start afresh he was still hanging on to it a little and this has confirmed that. I think it was his insistence that you gave Josh a fair chance when you both found out about us which first set alarm bells ringing as if he had realised he had found a way into our family and wanted to exploit it, I didn't think about it too deeply at the time, I just thought he was suspicious of you but then every time something happened like when Josh told me about your past and Mr Landon was so scared about how you would react almost as though he was scared that you would go off on one and stop me from seeing Josh. Then when we told him about the baby, he was shocked but then his whole demeanour changed and he kept going on about how he would help any way he could, at the time I thought he was just being nice but with hindsight he was too insistent then there was the way Josh kept going on about how he wanted me to keep the baby I felt it was almost as if someone was pressuring him to say those things because he was just so insistent. The final thing was last night the way he kept going on at Uncle Christian demanding access to the baby, almost as if he was desperate to keep that link to us. Hindsight is a wonderful thing but all those individual things which I dismissed and made allowances for now seem to all fall into place in the context of what he said today and with the history between the two families" she says.

I listen to my daughter and I am in awe of her astuteness how she has taken everything she has seen and heard and she has listened to her gut and what that told her about Landon.

She looks up at me, "Promise me you won't let him take my baby away?" she asks me suddenly.

I pull her closer and squeeze her gently, "I promise you, I will do whatever it takes to stop him taking your baby away" I say.

She pulls away from me and sniffs loudly, and then she takes a deep breath, and a strange calm descends over her. "Ok I'm good now, Uncle Christian gave me some advice on how to block him and prevent him getting any loopholes he can exploit. Uncle Christian also promised me he wouldn't let Landon take my baby" she says. There is a pause and then she adds "I know what I have to do".

I smile, "That's good" I say lamely.

She nods and stands, "I guess being the daughter of one of the richest men in the world and the niece of another does have its advantages at times" she says with a weak grin.

I smile and shake my head at her, "I'm glad you think so" I say. She walks towards me and wraps her arms around me. I close my eyes and fold my arms around her and we just stand there in silence for a moment, until she pulls away.

"I'll let you get on" she says.

I nod, "I should be home just after seven I think, Uncle Christian and Aunt Ana are coming round later this evening as well" I say and she nods at me. There is an eerie calm about her something which sets me on my guard. I hope I am wrong but something tells me she is planning something.

I watch her turn and leave and I follow her out. I'm relieved to see Christian and Taylor waiting for her, they stand as the door opens and Christian looks at me questioningly, I nod and smile at him, letting him know that she appears to be ok now. Christian wraps his arm around Denise and I watch them leave.


	17. Chapter 17

CHAPTER 17

I arrive home just before 6:30 which I am quite impressed about. I had managed to complete everything I had intended to do and managed to get myself home earlier than the 7 o clock I had anticipated. It was a novelty not having Raul drive me home and I do wonder why he sent someone else, and part of me is telling me to be worried about it, but right now I am looking forward to spending an evening with my family. I walk in and I am met by Olivia who runs to me looking upset.

"Oh dad, thank god you are home!" she gasps.

"What's happened? What's wrong?" I ask fear and panic immediately consuming me. I drop my jacket which I am carrying on the nearby stool and grasp my daughter by the shoulders.

"It's Dennie, she's gone" Olivia says bluntly.

"What?" I ask as fear and panic immediately consume me.

"She's gone!" she says.

"What do you mean she's gone, gone where?" I snap.

Olivia shakes her head, "I don't know, Uncle Christian and Jason came to meet us out of school, and Dennie rode with them and said she'd meet us at home, but she was ages and they didn't come home for a long while. When she finally came back, she was really quiet and behaving weird she was sort of... I don't know... deliberate that's the only way I can describe it and she was really calm but not in a good way. It was as if she was trying to control herself, she went into the kitchen for a while and then came out and went to her room. Jason came in with Uncle Christian and they went to talk to Raul and Paul and then he and Uncle Christian went… oh and before he went Uncle Christian said he'd come around about 8ish" I nod and she quickly returns to the story.

"Well after they had gone Dennie came out of her room and asked if Raul and Paul were still in the kitchen I told her they were and she nodded, she hugged me and just left the apartment without a word. I shouted after her and told her to stop but she just ignored me. I was so shocked I went straight away to Raul and told him and Paul immediately went after her, but neither of them have come back Raul has been on the phone constantly and Davis won't tell me anything" she stops and she starts to cry.

I pull her towards me and press a kiss to her head; well that explains why Raul didn't come to drive me home.

"It's ok, she'll be fine, I'm sure Paul will find her and bring her back" I say as I try and reassure her although I am trying to convince myself more. What the hell is she playing at?

"Where are Raul, Andy and Davis now?" I ask.

"Still in the kitchen" she says.

"Alright I'm going to talk to them now, I'm sure everything will be ok, but I will talk to them and then come and tell you ok" I say calmly although I feel anything but.

I stride towards the kitchen and the three men look up at me, I also see my housekeeper Sarah crouching at the oven examining something she turns and looks at me, and shutting the oven door she stands abruptly.

"Oh Mr Cross, I wasn't expecting you home so soon, Denise told me you would be back about 7ish" she says.

"I got finished early" I say.

She nods, "Well dinner will be ready for 7 o clock, I'll be off now" she says.

"Thank you Sarah" I say and watch her scurry from the kitchen.

I turn to the three men, "What the fuck is going on?" I snap.

Raul stands up and holds up his hands, "Please sir I suggest you come and sit down, and please calm down" he says.

"Calm down, I will fucking calm down when I am told my daughter is safe and she is back here with me" I say.

"She is on her way back now sir and she is absolutely fine. Olivia raised the alarm so quickly Paul was able to catch up with her before she managed to leave the building" Raul says.

I feel myself sag with relief at these words; I sit down at the small table and stare up at my Chief of Security. "Alright… now tell me what happened" I say.

Raul sits down beside me, "Denise arrived back with your brother about 4:30/5 o clock. She was very quiet and oddly detached from everything. She came and spoke to Sarah and then went to her room. The next thing I knew was when Olivia came in and said she had left the apartment unaccompanied she said she was worried that Denise was behaving strangely. Paul immediately left and went after her; he was in contact with me constantly from that point. He caught up with her as she was leaving the building and at that point he put his phone on speaker so I could hear everything that was said and he asked her to return to the Penthouse. She refused and she said and I quote 'I need to do this Paul either you help me or leave me alone', he asked her to wait while he informed me and she took his phone and I spoke to her directly. She was so cold it unnerved me sir, she said I have to do this Raul, he wants to take my baby away from me, so please don't stop me. So from that I assumed she was going to confront Ryan Landon, and I made the call to let her go. I told her that if she did this Paul was going with her and I was going to be listening in from here and the slightest hint of trouble I would pull her out and my word was final, and she agreed with that. Paul took her in the Merc to the Landon residence and ..." he stops and smiles, "lets just say I'm pretty sure Ryan Landon didn't know what hit him".

"Alright, why what did she do?" I ask.

Raul lets out a small snort, "she was amazing sir, what she did… well it reminded me of the time Eva confronted Dr Lucas and got the confession out of him. It was quite surreal to listen to actually, the way she did it as it was like hearing Eva all over again. She confronted him with everything your brother told her, he tried to deny it of course but she tripped him up and he eventually confessed that his plan was to try and get custody of the baby. Then I heard Josh Landon's voice and I believe he is escorting Denise back here with Paul now. I took the precaution of recording everything that was said, via the telephone link with Paul, its not very good quality but you can hear everything which is said, and I'm telling you sir you really need to listen to it. What she said she was seriously impressive" Raul stops and moments later I hear voices, I stand and head towards them.

I see my daughter smiling widely and hugging her sister who looks relieved and delighted to see her. Josh Landon is with her and he looks completely shattered. He has a large duffel bag slung over his shoulder, he puts it down and approaches me warily with his hand outstretched.

"Mr Cross, I swear I had no idea. I was not a part of what my dad was trying pull, honestly I wasn't" he rambles.

I shake his hand, "it's alright Josh, I didn't think you were" I say, I watch as his shoulders drop with the relief.

Denise reaches for me and touches my arm, "Dad, please don't be mad, but I had to do it, I just had to, also can Josh stay please? He has nowhere to go, after he heard what his dad was trying to do he walked out, he heard everything and he chose me dad. Please say he can stay?" Denise looks at me and I nod.

"Of course he can" I say.

"Thank you sir, thank you so much" Josh says gratefully.

I glance at my watch; it is nearly 7 o clock. "I'm going to quickly get changed and then I'll dish up some dinner" I say, Denise grabs Josh's hand and leads him to her room, I have a sudden uncomfortable feeling about this but there isn't anything I can do as we don't have a guest room and I have already just agreed Josh can stay with us, but the thought of him in my daughters room isn't one which sits well with me. I walk towards Denise's room and knock.

"Hello" she calls.

I open the door; Denise is emptying a drawer for Josh to put his things into. I feel suddenly uncomfortable, it is obvious that my daughter has sex she is pregnant for gods sake.

"Erm...I just wanted to say, if you would respect the fact you have two younger sisters in the house and they don't need to hear things which could happen in here" I say quietly.

Denise grins at me and then turns to Josh, "So no wild sex then Josh!" she says, and I watch Josh go crimson. My grip on the door handle tightens at her words and she looks at me and her expression softens.

"Sorry, but you walked into that one dad" she says. She is clearly still on a high from her confrontation with Landon and its making her cocky. She walks towards me, throwing her clothes on to the bed, "Joking aside, don't worry dad, we will keep it discreet as I don't particularly want to have to explain anything to Zoe" she says.

Josh steps forward, "It is only temporary, I will find something more permanent as soon as I can, but while I am here I will respect any rules you set" he says.

I look at the boy in front of me, he has chosen my daughter over his own family and I feel the need to help him. "Let me make a few calls, I own a number of apartment blocks here in New York let me see what I can do for you" I say.

"Thank you very much sir that is very kind of you" he says. I leave them alone and quickly change before heading to the kitchen to dish up the dinner.

**(DENISE)**

I am vibrating with anger, I am trying to keep control of my emotions but everything I have been told combined with everything I have personally witnessed is now falling into place and a big red warning flag is waving. Ryan Landon wants to use me and my baby to exact his long held revenge on my dad. I am the only one who can stop this, and the only way to do that as far as I can see is let him know that I know what his game is. A plan starts to form in my mind and with clinical precision I work out what I am going to do.

Uncle Christian drops me off at home and I head into the kitchen, I see our housekeeper Sarah is still here, she is busy preparing our dinner before she leaves I smile and say hello to her and inform her that my father believes he will be home around 7ish. She nods and tells me the casserole should be ready by that time. Then I look around the kitchen. Raul, Andy, Paul and Davis are all here drinking coffee and Jason has arrived and is talking to them and Uncle Christian soon follows him, I leave and head to my room. I wait until I hear my uncle leave and then I head out, I have my plan and I am almost single minded in pursuing it.

"Dennie" I turn and see Liv looking at me.

"Are Raul and Paul still in the kitchen?" I ask.

She nods at me, "yes" she replies. I smile, then I give her a hug and walk towards the elevator, Liv calls after me and tells me to come back but I don't listen to her. I know she will tell Raul, if I am honest I want Paul with me as the idea of going to the Landon's apartment alone doesn't fill me with pleasure plus there is the threat of Donny Foster and his fucked up family on the loose. I quickly decide to wait for Paul after all there is no point being stupid about this. I pause in the lobby and I hear the public elevator ping and I smile. Paul must have come out immediately and jumped in it, I move slowly towards the door, giving Paul ample time to catch up with me.

"DENISE" I hear Paul's shout and I stop and turn towards him, and I see immediately that he is on the phone to Raul.

I know Paul will have put his phone on speaker and that Raul will be listening in, "Denise come back upstairs" Paul asks calmly.

I shake my head, "No, I need to do this Paul either you help me or leave me alone" I say, I watch as he struggles with this. I know there is no way he will let me go out alone.

"Look just wait a moment let me talk to Raul" he says.

I watch him put the phone to his ear and I take it from him, "Raul it's me, listen to me, I have to do this. He wants to take my baby away from me, so please don't stop me" I say calmly.

There is a pause and I hear him sigh, "Alright on one condition, Paul goes with you and I am in contact all the time. I listen to what happens and any hint of trouble and I make the call that you leave, you do so without question or fuss do you understand me?" he says.

"Perfectly, thank you Raul" I say.

I hand Paul his phone back and look at him, "Shall we go?" I say and he nods at me.

We arrive at the Landon's apartment and I make myself known at the desk I am given permission to head up and as I ride up in the elevator I feel my emotions starting to churn up inside me.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Paul asks me quietly as the doors open.

I nod, "I have to" I simply say.

The doors open and Josh is waiting for me and he is smiling widely. "Hey Dennie, this is nice surprise!" he says and reaches for me and presses a kiss to my lips, I tense and he feels it.

"What's wrong baby?" he asks pulling away and looking at me carefully.

"I'm here to talk to your dad, is he here?" I ask, as it suddenly occurs to me Mr Landon is a businessman he will inevitably work long hours like my father.

Josh nods; "Yeah, he's in his study" he says and leads me towards it. I stop and press my hand to his chest.

"I need to do this alone Josh" I say, stopping him from following me.

He looks at me and nods, "What's going on Dennie?" he asks.

I shake my head, "That is what I am about to find out, and I promise you I will explain everything afterwards, and if it turns out that I am wrong I will also be apologising" I say.

Josh nods, "Alright, I trust you Dennie and I know this obviously is important to you, but if you need me just call me" he says.

I nod and knock on the door; "Come in" Ryan Landon calls.

I open the door and he looks up in surprise, "Denise how lovely to see you. What can I do for you?" he asks.

I look at him closely, studying his expression, he is smiling at me but for the first time I notice it is a fake smile, as it doesn't reach his eyes. This small seemingly insignificant detail makes me certain that what my uncle told me was true.

I cock my head to one side and put my hands on my hips, "Lovely, not a word I think you will be using by the time I have finished here tonight" I say coldly.

Landon stares at me his smile slipping away. "What's wrong Denise?" he asks.

"You" I say.

"Me? What did I do?" he asks with a small nervous laugh.

"Oh let me see, did you or did you not question my ability as a mother today?" I say.

He goes very pale but stands his ground, "Your father must have misunderstood what I said" he says.

I nod, "True, he may have, but the fact my uncle also heard what you said and got exactly the same message and told me as much says that there was no misunderstanding. Now I will ask you again did you or did you not question my ability as a mother today?" I say.

I notice the smile is now gone and he is glaring at me, but he is also worried he doesn't want to give himself or his plan away and he licks his lips nervously. "I simply voiced my concern that I was worried because you had changed your mind so many times before reaching the decision to keep the baby. You bounced from abortion, to adoption - when your uncle offered to take the child before settling on keeping the baby" he says.

I nod in agreement, "I did, but that is called making an informed choice, I was considering _all_ my options and considering them carefully" I say I step closer, "and what was with the comment Josh knows he has my full support should Denise not be up to the task of motherhood? I think that is a clear example of questioning my ability" I say.

"That has been taken out of context" he snaps back.

I nod again, "It has and I apologise, let me see… you called me immature and my dad said that was ridiculous and had a go at you about it and you back peddled trying to wriggle out of what you had said, bear in mind I'm paraphrasing here and then you said and I quote - Josh assures me she will be a good mother and I just hope that his faith in her isn't misplaced, but Josh knows he has my full support should Denise not be up to the task of motherhood. Now did you or did you not say that? And be very careful how you answer because if you deny it you are also saying my uncle is a liar and I know for a fact my uncle is not a liar" I stop and fold my arms and wait for him to respond I am watching his reaction carefully and he is now squirming and desperately trying to work out what to say to try and justify what he had said previously.

"Yes I said that, but it wasn't meant how it sounded, you are so young and I was concerned with everything else you have going on and..." he rambles.

I put my hand up to stop him and step forward, he is just digging a bigger hole and I decide to get to the point, "Just cut the fucking crap, we both know what you are up to. Now just be a man and admit it" I say bluntly.

"I have no idea what you are insinuating" he blusters, but I see he is sweating now there is a distinct sheen of sweat on his top lip and his forehead, he knows that I know and he looks really worried.

I smile sweetly at him, "Well let me enlighten you then. You believe you have just discovered the perfect way to finally get the revenge on the Cross family. You know the revenge that you have been after for all these years. After all these years of trying and failing to undercut my father in business, publicly denouncing him in the press and generally being a fucking nuisance by poking him with a stick at every possible opportunity you decided to go for the kill and make it personal instead. To do that you decided to use me as you know family means more to dad than anything and so you know if you hurt me that will hurt my dad more than anything else" I say.

I see his reaction to that and I know I am spot on but he quickly denies it by shaking his head adamantly. "No that is ridiculous" he blusters and he glances nervously at Paul.

I smile again. Paul is standing there silent just watching me and letting me do what I have to do. "You want to try and take my baby away don't you, you want to try and prove I am not up to the task of raising a baby and you want to take the baby from me don't you, admit it!?" I snap.

Once again I see the look on his face, the truth that I am right, but he shakes his head violently, "No" he says.

I hold up my hand, "Sorry wrong answer! The one I was looking for and which was written all over your face is yes. I saw your reaction, it was only there for a second but I saw it you sick bastard. You want to use an innocent baby as a pawn because you are so consumed with the need for revenge for something which happened fucking years ago!" I say.

I see him getting angry now and Paul takes a step closer to me, "You have no idea what that did to us, it decimated the fortune my father built Geoffrey Cross almost ruined him" he spits.

There we have it, he is cracking I have this all I need to do is push a little harder, I glance at Paul and see his phone in his hand and I know Raul is listening in and I pray he is recording this, so my father can listen to what he is up against. I start to speak, "Ok I'll buy that, but here's the thing. If he had a fortune as you say, millions and millions of dollars then surely it was just greed to put it into a crooked ponzi scheme to make more? In my opinion he got what he deserved, he didn't need any more money but greed made him pursue avenues which weren't legal" I say mildly.

I watch as anger consumes him at what I just said and his hands ball into fists as he glares at me. "How dare you, he had no idea the investment he made was illegal and besides that is hypocritical coming from the daughter of one of the richest men in the world!" he spits.

"Yeah, maybe it is but the difference is every dime my father has made has been through his own hard work" I retort, my voice is starting to get louder.

"Get out" he says pointing towards the door of his study.

I shake my head and fold my arms, "No way mister, not until you admit to me exactly what your sick revenge was" I say "because you sure as hell won't be able to do it now. You do realise that my dad and my uncle were on to you straight away and now I know what your game is do you seriously think I will allow anything to happen? Congratulations Mr Landon with your actions you have just denied Josh the chance to be a father to his child because there is no way on earth I am letting him near my baby now in case he is in on this with you!" I say.

"What? You can't do that he is the baby's father" he says and I hear fear and I know he is unravelling I am close I can do this.

"Just fucking watch me!" I snarl "We are not married, something which you seemed to be very concerned about when you spoke to my dad and uncle and how do I know that Josh isn't a part of this because the first thing he did was say he wanted to marry me?" I say.

I look round and see Josh has come in at some point and is listening intently, his face is pale and he is shaking his head adamantly.

"Josh had nothing to do with this, he loves you" Landon says sharply.

I smile, and there it is, I step closer and say his words back to him "Josh had nothing to do with _this_, so I am right then and your intention was revenge. You were trying to use my baby for your vendetta?" I say triumphantly.

Landon's fists ball again and Paul takes another step closer to me, "No, I didn't mean it like that" he says.

"How did you mean it then?" I retort, "There is no other way to take it, you said Josh had nothing to do with _this_. This, that one word Mr Landon. 'This' so what is… '_this_' come on explain it to me… this, this plan? This revenge maybe? This diabolical idea where you would see a child separated from its mother to satisfy a years old vendetta against a man who swindled your dad. A man who was nothing to me, a man who died when my father was 5 years old. Yes he shared my surname and biology tells me he was my great uncle but that means nothing to me and after all this time if you were any sort of man at all it should mean nothing to you as well. Why should I pay for the sins of my great uncle and why should my innocent baby be made into a pawn for your pettiness and your need for retribution?" I stop and watch the explosion.

Landon leans over the desk towards me and he slams his fist down on to the top of the desk so hard it shudders. "You have no fucking idea, that man ruined my father. It caused untold damage to my entire family we had to claw our way back and I promised my father I would avenge what happened to him. I built my own company, and I went into direct competition with your father, I wanted to bring him down and one day I will. I swear to god one day I will, but this was a gift too good to exploit. Geoffrey Cross's fraud did untold damage to my family on a personal level and this was my chance to make Cross feel the personal devastation my family felt" he stops his eyes are wild and he is clenching his fists.

I calmly lean closer, and Paul puts his hand out but I hold mine up to stop him. "Untold personal damage eh, personal devastation? What like the untold personal damage and personal devastation your dad inflicted when he cheated on his family and allowed himself to be tied up and whipped and god knows what else by Sybil Hanson. Do you think he was thinking of their personal devastation when he was fucking her?" I know that is a low blow but I go there all the same, as this man is contemptible.

Landon smirks at me and I know what he is going to say next, "Your uncle also let her do that to him!" he retorts. His eyes are flashing with triumph and I realise he thinks I have no idea what happened to Uncle Christian, and that this will shut me up.

But I shake my head, as all it has done is make me even more angry "You are going there, seriously?!" I say and as he nods smugly my anger peaks and with all the control I can pull together I lean right into his face "No Mr Landon, I'm telling you right now don't even go there, as comparing what happened between my uncle and Sybil Hanson and what happened with your dad, there is no comparison. My uncle was a fifteen year old boy who was abused by a paedophile when he got into her hands so there is a huge and very real difference, my uncle was a child and what happened to him was abuse and violation by a paedophile, whereas your father was a grown man with a family of his own and should have known better, but he was too weak and he cheated on his family in pursuit of his kinky perverted predilections".

I watch as Landon sits down with a thud, he had no idea that I knew and I am so glad I had managed to persuade Uncle Christian to tell me about what happened to him. I lean over the desk towards Landon my nose is practically touching his now and I hear Paul say my name warningly, but Landon leans away from me, my arms are straight and trembling slightly as I press my hands onto his desk.

"Do you have any idea what you have done Mr Landon?" I ask.

He just looks up at me silently.

I smile sweetly at him again, "Let me enlighten you, you have invoked the worst sort of anger in me, the protective anger of a mother protecting her child. I know this baby isn't born yet, hell it could even be argued it isn't even a baby yet, but my maternal instincts are real enough and right now they are telling me to protect my baby against you, so believe me Mr Landon if you are stupid enough to pursue this idea you will lose, and you will crash and fucking burn. You failed to realise one important thing in your master plan and that is I hold all the cards here. Yes I love Josh with all my heart, but a mother's love for her child is far more powerful, far more intense and I will not hesitate for one second to cut Josh off to protect my baby from you… and seriously did you really think my dad and uncle would sit back and allow you to do this? If you did you are more deluded than I thought". I stop speaking, stand up straight and take a step back.

"Get the fuck out of my home" he growls.

I smile at him, "Oh don't worry I'm going Mr Landon" I turn to leave and then stop suddenly spinning back to face him and I decide to kick him just once more.

I pause, tapping my chin theatrically with my finger "I wonder you know, all this revenge it seems so petty to me. What's the word... childish... immature, ridiculous, pathetic, take your pick they are all relevant. But something doesn't sit right with me with this, the whole concept of pursuing something so single-mindedly, something which happened so long ago… ancient history and all that. I mean you are a wealthy man and your dad is dead so it can't be the money which is bugging you, and even though you are clearly a sad pathetic little man even I can't believe you are so small as to pursue something which is totally irrelevant to you now with your wealth and resources. I can't help but wonder if there is something else… something more which is more recent which fuels your unreasonable hatred of my father?" I pause and wave my hand in the air, "I don't know... something like perhaps the fact you know your own wife carries a torch for my dad. The fact you know my dad had her before you did and he was obviously very a memorable lay for her by the way she was practically panting for him that evening he came here". I stop as his face contorts with anger, "It was gross to see really, I mean who wants to watch their boyfriend's mother drooling over their dad, she was begging for it, and the more I think about it the more I think it's that which fuels your desire for revenge. The fact your own wife thinks my dad was a better lay than you are, and your male ego just can't get over that, can it?"

"Get. Out!" he spits once more.

I let out a small laugh "Don't worry I'm going now, it's been a pleasure Mr Landon, see ya!" I turn and watch Josh walk towards his father's desk.

"I'm going too father, I can't believe you were capable of sinking so low as to use a child, you need help" he says.

"Josh, no please" Landon exclaims and I see the shock and panic on his face as he realises that Josh has turned against him.

Josh shakes his head and turns to me, he hesitantly reaches for me and grasps my hand "Denise I swear I didn't have anything to do with this, please don't cut me off I love you. I beg you I had no idea, I obviously can't stay here any longer knowing what my father is capable of so can I stay at your place until I find somewhere to live? I swear to you I had nothing to do with any of this" he insists.

I reach out and touch his face "It's ok I believe you" I say quietly and I look at him closely, "Are you sure about this Josh?" I ask gently.

"Totally, I can't even bear to look at him at this moment" he replies.

I nod "Ok, I'll have to ask my dad but I'm sure he will say yes" I say.

"Please wait for me while I get some stuff together" he says and with that he disappears from the room.

I turn to Landon, who looks devastated, "Oh dear, Mr Landon" I say smugly, "I can't help but see the irony of this, here you were plotting to take my child from me and all you have done is lose your own. I'll leave you with that thought, good night Mr Landon" I say and I turn and leave the room with Paul.

**(GIDEON)**

"Well that was about as subtle as a breeze block being dropped from a great height!" Christian says clearly amused as he leans back in his chair.

I am in my study with my brother, Taylor and Raul and we are gathered around my desk and we have just listened to the recording which Raul took earlier of Denise confronting Landon and I have just heard my daughter verbally destroy him. There were no punches pulled and she went directly for the jugular and didn't relent for one second.

I see the proud grins on the faces of my brother and my Chief of Security, even Taylor looks impressed with what he has heard. Me? Well I am lost for words, she was incredible and so reminiscent of Eva and the way she used to verbally eviscerated anyone who dared to have a go at me.

"I'm totally speechless I have no idea what to say or what to make of that" I say.

I throw back the remains of the bourbon in my glass and put it down with a thud on my desk. I am proud of her undoubtedly so, but I also worry this will make Landon more rabid in his vendetta and possibly even push him towards Sybil Hanson.

Christian stares at me, "What's wrong? Something's eating you?" he asks.

I sigh and rub my eyes, "I can't help but worry this will make things worse in the long run, make Landon more focussed, more underhanded and vicious" I say.

Christian shakes his head, "Look, for what its worth I don't think so, not yet anyway. The fact his son has turned away from him, that was huge for him you could hear it in his voice, as he really wasn't expecting that. I don't think he will risk doing anything which will alienate him even more. He will want to try and repair the relationship with his son. If and when there is a reconciliation between them, then is the time we start to worry I think" Christian says.

I stand up suddenly, "I need to speak to Denise, I need to know what possessed her to do this" I say.

Christian stands and grabs my arm, "Fuck bro even I know the answer to that one, she wanted to stop him. She has no control over what happens with Elena, she has no control over what happens with Donny Foster, and she definitely has no control over that crazy fucker Mike Foster, but this… that man threatened her child and the way she saw it that was something she could rectify, she could do something to stop him. She can't stop any of the others, so she was eradicating a threat, making one less thing for her to be concerned about" he says. "I know what she meant now after I spoke to her today, when she looked straight at me and she said I know what to do now. I thought at the time she meant it in the context of the advice she had just asked for on how to prevent him taking the baby away, not now though. I realise she meant she knew what she had to do as in confront the bastard and fucking destroy him".

I sit down again, and a reluctant smile plays on my lips, "She was pretty fucking awesome wasn't she?" I say proudly.

"She was" Christian says with a grin, "it was also like going back in time and listening to Eva when she was on a roll" he adds.

I nod; I had thought exactly the same thing as I had listened to it.

**(DENISE)**

I am lying on my bed and Josh is lying beside me, his front to my back and he has his arms wrapped tightly around me, and he has his hand on my stomach a protective gesture which makes me feel safe and loved. We are quiet listening to music just relaxing and being calm. Which after today I've had, I think is just what I need.

"Dinner went well, don't you think?" I ask Josh.

"Yes it did, better than I expected your sisters were quite accepting of the situation" he agrees.

We had explained to my sisters that Josh was staying with us for a while, and when they had asked why, we had explained that Josh had fallen out with his father. Zoe had asked why and I had explained because I was having a baby, this was of course not news to Liv but Zoe had gaped at us at this.

Zoe had then asked where Josh was going to sleep, as she knew there wasn't a spare room for him, for a few years Liv and I had shared a bedroom but when mom found out she was expecting Zoe, dad had the attached one bedroom apartment next door knocked through to our apartment and converted into a huge master bedroom for him and mom, and a new home office for him, his old office had become Zoe's bedroom, Liv had stayed in our bedroom and I had moved into mom and dad's old room. She had looked quite surprised when we told her Josh would be sleeping with me.

My dad had again mentioned that he would make enquiries into the properties he owned in New York, but I wasn't keen on Josh living by himself in an apartment.

"You do believe me don't you?" he asks me suddenly.

"Believe what?" I ask turning my head to look at him.

I see the anxiety on his face and in his eyes as he stares back at me.

"That I had nothing to do with my father's crazy revenge plan" he says.

I nod, and roll towards him, "of course I do, you were horrified when I saw you were listening. How much did you hear?" I ask.

He shrugs, "All of it, I was listening outside the door for a while but when you started pushing him for the truth and you said he had denied me the chance to be a father that is when I entered the room as I wanted to say something, I wanted to support my dad and demand that you take it back, but I saw my dad's face and I just knew, I realised at that moment what you were saying about him was true and I also realised that you were trying to get him to admit it and then I hoped that what you had said about cutting me off was part of that to encourage a confession. I could also tell he was cornered and I decided to just listen and not interfere and he proved you and me right when he walked in the trap you laid for him when he said that I had nothing to do with it" he stops and shakes his head sadly.

I touch his face and he closes his eyes and leans in to the touch. "Josh listen to me, when Uncle Christian told me what he had said at the meeting with him and my dad, he also said that he didn't think you were involved and Uncle Christian is a really good judge of character, he can read people really well and figure out their angle and he is confident you knew nothing about it" I say.

"I can't believe he is being so... I don't know... crazy about this. You were right, what happened to my grandfather wasn't good but it's ancient history now and it's nothing to do with you or our baby and the fact my dad is so small minded to still want revenge all these years later not to mention to do it in such a contemptible way using an innocent child, well... I don't think know him anymore".

He sounds so sad, this has shattered everything he thought he knew about his father, someone he has obviously been close to, I know that if my father had shattered my faith in him like that I wouldn't know what to do so I pull him close and try and offer him some sort of comfort.

"I'm sorry" I say quietly.

"What are you saying sorry for? You have done nothing wrong, you did everything right, you were protecting yourself and your baby" he says adamantly.

I squeeze him tightly, "Our baby" I say quietly. "No, but it wasn't my intention for you to see your fathers true colours like that… not in that way, all I could think of was stopping him. I didn't stop to think of the repercussions of my actions and what they would do to other people. You love your dad and you were so close to him, and I have destroyed that." I say.

Josh rests his head on top of mine, "No, you have nothing to be sorry or feel guilty for, its good I saw my father for what he is. Yes I love him but at this moment I also really hate him". He pauses and then sighs deeply. "When I heard you say you would cut me off to protect the baby from my father I understood your reasoning but it hurt, I realise now you said it to try and get him to confess, but I won't lie it hurt when I heard it. The idea of being shut out of our baby's life and yours it's not something I want to think about. I have no concerns about never seeing my father again, but I couldn't live without you Denise" he says.

"I'm still sorry" I whisper again. I am totally overwhelmed by what he has just said to me, and I nuzzle closer to him.

"No baby, you proved tonight that you are going to be the best mom in the world, you were prepared to put your baby's wellbeing before your own happiness and it makes me proud to know that my child is going to have you as his or her mom" he says.

"Thank you that means a lot" I say as I turn my head and press a small kiss on to Josh's chest.

I hear a knock on the door and Josh immediately releases his grip on me. I hold on to him and pull him close again. "We have nothing to be ashamed of" I whisper to him before turning my attention to the door.

"Come in!" I call, and the door opens and to my surprise I see Uncle Christian standing there and he smiles at us.

I immediately release Josh and sit up, "What's up?" I ask.

He shakes his head at me, "Nothing, I just came to say goodbye. I'm heading home to my apartment now, Ana left a while ago to pack and I have an early flight in the morning. We are heading back to Seattle, so I just wanted to say goodbye before I left" he says.

I climb off the bed and walking up to him. I wrap my arms around his waist and squeeze him. "Thank you for everything" I whisper.

He looks at me questioningly, "The fact you drew the short straw to tell me about Mr Landon" I explain.

He shakes his head, "No, I offered" he says firmly.

"Well thank you anyway" I say.

My uncle presses a kiss to my head and squeezes me, "You are very welcome, and remember I am only a phone call away if you need anything don't hesitate, do you understand me?" he says.

"I know" I say and I grab him by his biceps and press on to my tip toes as I kiss him on his chin. "It means a lot" I add.

I watch my uncle glance at Josh, "I'd like a word with you too a moment please" he says to Josh. I turn my head and Josh looks slightly afraid as he nods his head and climbs off the bed.

I grin at him, "Don't worry, he doesn't bite, he tries to make out he is this big tough bad CEO dude but really he's a big softie". Josh smiles but I get the impression he isn't totally convinced by my words.

Uncle Christian squeezes me again, "Hey missy, you are ruining my reputation here!" he says playfully and I giggle. I watch as my uncle and boyfriend step out of the room. I intended to give them privacy but my curiosity got the better of me and a moment later I followed and so help me I listened in to their conversation.

I am standing beside the closed kitchen door and I am holding my breath listening to the conversation inside. I had silently followed and watched them go in and close the door. I hear my uncle's voice, he is talking in his clipped cold CEO tone, and I roll my eyes as I know he is trying to intimidate Josh, I shake my head as I listen to him.

"Josh, I want you to know I don't hold you responsible for what your father was planning and neither does my brother" he says.

I hear Josh speak then, "No sir I was horrified when I heard what he was planning on doing, at first I thought Denise must have been wrong and was mistaken but as soon as I walked into that room and saw his face I just knew what she was accusing him of was true".

"He made his intentions crystal clear in the meeting we had" my uncle says. There is a pause and then he speaks again. "But having said that, and although I believe you love my niece, I need you to realise one thing, if I ever find out you are involved in your father's plans for revenge, or if you hurt her in any way at all you will not only have to face her father, but I will personally destroy you, do you understand me?" he says.

I hear Josh "Yes sir I totally understand but I love Denise and I will never hurt her" he says.

I am horrified, admittedly I feel loved and protected by my uncle's words but after I tried to convince Josh that my uncle was ok he has just fucked that up completely, before I realise what I am doing I am throwing the door open and striding in to the kitchen, they both turn and stare at me.

"What the fuck are you doing Uncle Christian?!" I exclaim loudly, "I told Josh you were cool with him and then you go and threaten him, are you totally deranged?!" I add.

My uncle stares at me impassively "Denise, I told him I believed that he had nothing to do with his fathers revenge, but I was also warning him of the consequences should his intentions towards you change, I was just making my position clear" he says calmly. He is angry that I cursed at him but I don't give a damn at this moment, and besides we are in my home now, so I can say whatever the hell I want to.

I wave my hand at him, "I don't give a shit about you making your position clear, you sounded like some kind of mafia godfather, you can't go around threatening people. Josh loves me and I believe that. I know he wouldn't do anything to hurt me, but believe me if he ever did he would need to be more afraid of me, because I wouldn't tolerate it. I don't need you stepping in and making threats because I can look after myself" I say.

Josh walks towards me, "Denise calm down baby, please. You need to calm down it's not good for the baby getting so upset. I don't mind honestly, I understand believe me I do and I get why your uncle said that, he loves you and he is protecting you, I'm not offended. In fact I am reassured that you have such a close family who I know will take care of you, should anything happen to me" he says.

I stare at him, "Don't say things like that Josh, please, nothing is going to happen to you, don't even think that let alone say it!" I say tears starting to fall.

Josh hugs me tightly, "Hey come on that came out wrong, but I know what I meant, but please baby, don't be angry at your uncle, he is only looking out for you" he says.

I sniff and nod, "Ok" I say, I turn to my uncle who is watching in silence.

"Alright because Josh is cool with your unacceptable behaviour I forgive you, but don't fucking do it again!" I say and I see a small reluctant smile twitch on his lips and he nods at me, then he holds his arms open to me. I leave Josh's arms and walk towards my uncle and I slap him on the chest.

"What was that for?" he asks with amusement.

"For making me look like a liar. I said you were a big softie and what did you do, you went all hard man on me!" I say.

I watch him throw back his head and laugh loudly as he hugs me.

"What's going on in here?" we all turn and see my father strolling in. He is holding a story book in his hand I realise he has just been saying goodnight to Zoe, she may be nine years old but she loves her bedtime stories still and my dad likes to indulge her.

I grin at him, "I was trying to stop my over protective uncle laying down the law according to Christian Grey and stop him threatening my boyfriend" I say.

My dad's eyebrows rise in surprise, "threaten?" he asks looking at Uncle Christian with clear amusement.

My uncle shrugs, "I would call it making him aware of consequences" he says evasively.

"That's just semantics, and you _were_ threatening him!" I say firmly.

Josh sighs and shakes his head adamantly, "And I totally understand why he did it and can we just drop it now. I am disgusted at what my dad was planning, I have disowned him totally. I chose you Denise, I love you with all my heart and I swear to god and to everyone in this room, until my dying day I will never ever do anything to hurt you intentionally, I will love you and protect you and our baby until my last breath" Josh says with such passion and conviction I see my father and uncle both look a little shocked. I smile, my love for him feeling as though it will almost make my heart explode.

My uncle steps forward his hand outstretched, "Well that's good enough for me, what do you say bro?" he asks.

My father nods, "I couldn't ask for anything more" he says.

I stare at the three men surrounding me, my boyfriend with his arm wrapped around me stands to my left, my father stands to my right and my uncle stands in front of us and I look up at them, I am surrounded I feel loved and protected. Here I am standing with two of the most influential and wealthiest men in the United States if not the world. I know they do what they do out of love even though it is embarrassing to have them be so over protective at times, then there is my boyfriend son of another highly influential businessman but to me they are my family – all of them, and I love them.


	18. Chapter 18

CHAPTER 18

Here I am early the next morning, and as is the norm now I am keeling in front of my toilet with my head over it vomiting profusely. What is different though this morning is the fact Josh is by my side holding my hair and rubbing my back reassuringly. I look up and he hands me a wash cloth, his face filled with concern. This is the first time he has witnessed and experienced my now regular morning routine and I think it has bothered him; I manage a weak smile to try and reassure him.

"Thank you" I say as I accept the cloth.

The door opens and my father enters, and stops dead taking in the fact Josh is here with me".

"Are you ok sweetheart?" he asks me and I nod.

"I think so" I say, "hold that thought" I add as I turn back to the toilet.

"Is it this bad every morning?" Josh asks my dad as he once again gathers my hair back.

I sense my father kneeling down on my other side.

"Yes" he replies, "but it passes eventually" he adds.

There is an awkward silence punctuated only with my awful wretching. I feel the thick atmosphere in the room, I realise that Josh and my father are both jockeying for the position of number one man in my life, and Josh thinks it should be him as my boyfriend and the father of my baby, but my father isn't willing to give up his position without a fight.

"Josh why don't you go and get dressed ready for college, I'll take care of Denise" my dad says smoothly.

"I'm fine I have plenty of time" Josh replies and refuses to move and I feel a little stuck in the middle.

"I remember when Eva went through this, she suffered with it through all three of her pregnancies" my dad says quietly.

"You really loved her didn't you Mr Cross?" Josh asks quietly.

I wait, willing myself not to throw up so I can hear my father's reply and I turn my head slightly to look at him. He has a kind of far away look on his face, he looks so sad and somehow alone and I realise at this moment, it may have been nearly four years since my mother died but my dad has never really recovered from that loss.

"I did and I still do" he says simply, and then he almost seems to jolt as he sees me looking at him and he smiles before he glances at Josh and he seems to come to some conclusion.

"If you are going to be here for Denise I'll go and get ready for work" he says and I watch as he stands up and goes to move away, and I am shocked at his sudden capitulation. I realise at this moment he has made the decision to step back and give Josh the role that he wants and I think it has something to do with how much he loved my mom. I could be totally wrong here but I think he knows Josh loves me and he is stepping back and letting him do just that. It moves me as I realise this must be a massive moment for him and as he steps away I reach for him and squeeze his hand, to let him know that I love him dearly.

He just looks at me and wordlessly squeezes me back.

When he has gone, Josh speaks.

"He has never got over your mother's death has he?" he asks quietly.

I shake my head, "No, she was his world. The love they had it was tangible, you could feel it whenever they were in the same room, and it was like a living thing. You know how Uncle Christian and Aunt Ana are with each other well it was like that with mom and dad, Jenny always said she loved it here because she said you could feel the love in the house" I say. "I know he is still grieving for her in a way, she meant everything to him because she gave him so much" I say.

"What do you mean?" Josh asks.

I pause wondering if I should say anything, eventually I just I smile "My dad said she gave him a life worth living" I say evasively. I am not about to discuss my fathers personal business with anyone, he trusted me with that information and I am not about to betray it.

Josh touches my face, "I know exactly what he means, you have done that for me" he says.

I snort, "I don't think so" I say dismissively.

Josh nods adamantly, "It's true Denise, I was coasting. I was unfocussed and didn't know what I wanted out of life I was drifting through college, just going through the motions but then you came into my life and gave me clarity, focus and ambition and now I have my life all mapped out and I feel a sense of purpose now, you me and our baby, so yes I know exactly what he means".

I am speechless I have no idea what to say or do, but another wave of nausea and vomiting breaks the moment.

When its time to leave Josh and I head out to the SUV, there appears to be a lot of security activity this morning and I look at Raul questioningly.

"What's going on Raul everyone is pretty hyped this morning?" I say.

"We have had word of a credible threat from Davie Foster. Taylor called me, Hilary Ellis was captured talking to him on the phone from her school office, telling him he has a window of access to the school grounds between 3:00 and 3:30 today now you are to stay with Paul at all times today, Liv has been told that there is a threat alert and she is to stay with Davis at all times. Zoe is unaware but Andy is on top of things and won't allow anything to happen to her, but I believe it is you and Liv who are the targets, primarily you. I have implemented a plan we have had in place and ready to go for this very scenario, I have several personnel stationed around the perimeter of the school and that fucker won't get anywhere near you as long as you do as you are told. Am I making myself clear on this Denise? No playing the fucking hero, no disobeying orders and no wandering off on a tangent, you stay with Paul and you stay safe" he says firmly.

I know this has him worried as this is the first time he has ever cursed at me, although I'm pretty sure he has cursed under his breath at me numerous time. I nod and assure him I will behave and cooperate.

My father has insisted that Josh also has a CPO whilst he is at college and this makes my anxiety ratchet up a little further wondering if the threat is greater than I am being told, but I was reassured that it is just common sense for him to have close protection, especially now that he is living with us. Josh had agreed immediately and he has just been introduced to Harley who I have known since I was a small child, he has been a regular member of the security team for a long while.

"Keep him safe Harley" I say to the tall green eyed man and he smiles at me.

"You can count on it!" he replies.

I glance at the large amount of activity in the garage area, "Just one thing, aren't we going to attract attention with this increased presence?" I ask looking around.

Raul shakes his head, "we are not all going to turn up at the same time" he says with a grin. He points to group of men waiting beside a large minibus, "One team has already left and are in place. They are leaving now and getting stationed around the school, they will be dropped off a block away and move in on foot, Josh and Harley are heading off separately in another car, you and your sisters will arrive as usual with the two SUV's as has always been the case, one of which will remain at the school and the other will leave and I will be driving your father to work as normal" he explains.

I nod and turn to Josh, "I'd better say goodbye now then" I say as I hug him tightly.

"Stay safe Denise and don't put yourself or our baby at risk" he whispers to me and I nod.

"I won't" I say and press a kiss to his lips; he immediately deepens it and holds me tightly.

I watch as Josh leaves first and I look at my dad, he immediately walks towards me and wraps his arm around my shoulder. "He'll be fine" he says and presses a kiss to head.

The team head out next and then Andy appears with Zoe, we didn't want her to witness the increased activity, and we wanted her to think it was just another normal day. She quickly climbs into the SUV and buckles herself in, then Liv appears she looks slightly anxiously at me and then at dad.

"It's ok" my father soothes, "Just do as Davis tells you and you will be fine" he says.

She nods and kisses him goodbye and climbs into the SUV. My father grasps my shoulders and looks carefully at me.

"For the love of god Denise, please co-operate and don't do anything stupid" he says.

I nod, "I will do whatever Paul says and won't do anything stupid it's not just me to consider now" I say and press my hand to my stomach.

Dad looks at me and nods at me with a look of relief on his face, he hugs me and climbs into the Bentley where Raul is waiting for him and I call across to him and Raul looks back at me.

"Keep him safe Raul" I call as he climbs into the Bentley.

He pauses and grins, "Always!" he replies before he disappears inside.

The day passes without incident. I am a little jumpy but I keep telling myself the threat isn't live until 3pm but everyone is on their guard regardless of that. I have been texting Josh regularly, and also checking in periodically with Liv and my father.

Josh told me in one text that Mike had been hanging around him again and making a nuisance of himself which had immediately sent me into a panic, but he had assured me that nothing bad had happened and that Mike had just approached him a couple of times and bad mouthed me.

Three o clock rolls around and I notice Paul getting more agitated. As the school day comes to an end we head to the usual classroom we wait in until Raul arrives, but Paul looks around and suddenly pulls his phone out and sends a text and moments later we are heading to the foyer area, I stare at him in surprise.

"Think about it Denise, in that classroom we are sitting ducks they know we occupy it, we are tucked away, here we are in full view and not in the usual place" he says.

"Yes, but aren't we also pretty much telling them – 'we know what you're doing!'" I say.

"Possibly, but my job is to keep you safe and this is what I am doing" he replies.

I see Liv and Davis approach us and Davis grins making it obvious that he is clearly happy with the decision Paul took. Moments later Hilary Ellis strolls out of the office and stops dead as she sees us all waiting in the foyer.

"Is there a problem here gentlemen?" she asks politely.

Paul shakes his head, "Not at all ma'am," he replies.

"I'm just surprised to see you all waiting here, you normally wait in the classroom" she pushes.

"I wanted a change of scenery, instead of being stuck in a classroom" I say with a grin. I see her glare at me before she plasters a fake smile on her face.

"I see" she replies.

I hear Paul's phone buzz and he looks at it and then at me.

"If you will excuse me" Hilary says and I watch as she practically runs down the corridor.

"Foster is on the grounds, he has entered the school building and he is heading towards the classroom we normally use" Paul says.

"I think she is going to tell him, did you see how she practically ran to get away" I say.

Paul nods but doesn't say anything.

"Is Zoe alright?" I ask.

Davis steps forward, "She's fine, Andy has her and they are perfectly safe" he assures me.

Paul quickly interrupts "Look" he says as we see Davie Foster walking quickly down the corridor towards us. I grip Liv's hand tightly she is trembling and I try and reassure her we will be fine. I keep telling myself to just do exactly what I am told but the urge to fight within me is huge, as it's not in my nature to back down when I am threatened.

Davie's focus is absolute as he stalks towards us.

Paul looks at his watch and smiles "Ok now we head outside" Paul says calmly and I realise he has a clear plan.

We turn and walk calmly outside as Davie breaks into a sprint to catch us. As we step outside I see Raul climb out of the car and realise by the fact the engine isn't running that he has been here for some time. I wonder what is going on and I glance at my watch it has just gone 3:30 and I realise the window Hilary Ellis gave Foster has expired and he is going to be caught on camera inside and leaving the school. I also realise Davie Foster is gaining on us and he is also brandishing a knife.

"Paul he has a knife" I gasp as I see the blade glinting in the sunlight, to which Paul turns and dramatically yells pointing directly at Foster.

"CODE RED KNIFE, I REPEAT CODE RED KNIFE".

Out of nowhere men appear like ants taking him down, and I stare in shock. I never realised my father employed so many men. I knew he had an extensive team but this is beyond anything I had ever realised. I suddenly worry about Zoe seeing any of this.

Paul escorts me calmly to the waiting car and I look at Raul who is like a conductor of an orchestra directing proceedings in front of him, as we pass him he turns and looks at me and smiles smugly.

"Where's Zoe?" I ask Raul as I pass him.

"Already gone home with Andy, she left before you even came out and she saw nothing" Raul says. Liv climbs gratefully into the car and I follow her, Paul and Davis get in and we are driven away. As we are leaving I turn to glance into the school yard and see Foster being comprehensively overwhelmed and secured.

When we arrive home Josh is pacing around, he stops as we walk in and he grabs me checking me over his eyes sweeping over me.

"Are you alright? I've been listening in, Harley has been in touch and I heard everything that was happening at the school but he wouldn't say anything, then Zoe arrived home with Andy and you and Liv weren't there. I panicked but Harley assured me you were safe, what happened?" he asks.

"I'm not sure to be honest, but from what I picked up we orchestrated a trap and Davie Foster walked right into it" I say.

I quickly go over the events of this afternoon and Josh listens carefully. I am just finishing when Josh's cell phone starts buzzing, he pulls it from his pocket glancing at it and then ignores the call.

"Who was that?" I ask.

"My father" he replies, "He has been trying to call me all day, I am going to block his number if he carries on" he says coldly.

I head to my room and settle down to do my homework, and Josh joins me a few moments later.

"What are you doing baby?" he asks sitting down beside me.

"Homework" I say in disgust and he laughs.

"Get it done and then we have the rest of the evening to do as we please" he says.

I stare at him, "God you sound like my dad" I say shaking my head.

"Your father is right" Josh says, "This is a huge year for you, you have been given the opportunity to be fast tracked to graduation and so if you are hoping to graduate High School and you are doing it early, you need to do this" he says firmly.

I know he is right and I settle down and get it done. It's not hard and I breeze through it and I when I have finished I wonder why I normally procrastinate about it so much.

It is nearly 7pm when my father gets home and it is Josh who tells me he has arrived.

"Your father is home" Josh says as he walks in with two glasses of lemonade, he hands one to me.

I sit up immediately, "Is he?" I ask.

He nods, I saw him head straight to his office with Raul. I nod and slide off the bed, "I'll be back in moment" I say and I head to my fathers study.

I hear voices and I open the door, Raul turns and smiles and my father looks at me and immediately stands up and holds open his arms to me.

"Will someone tell me what happened this afternoon?" I ask.

My father and I move over to his sofa and he sits down beside me.

"Raul was just telling me everything went beautifully" my dad says.

I nod in agreement "I got that much from him too, but I want details" I snap.

Raul grins at me, "Denise I wanted to let your father know the details first and then I was going to tell you the good news" he says.

"Well I'm here, so you can tell me now" I say impatiently.

"Well I have to say, I am more than delighted with the outcome of today, it couldn't have gone much better" Raul says.

I settle myself shuffling closer to my dad as my father puts his arm around me and Raul continues to speak.

"As you know T called me and informed me that Hilary Ellis had planned to let foster have access to the school within a half hour window between 3pm and 3:30pm. We needed to make sure he went over that timeframe so that he was caught within the school and on the grounds on the security cameras and Paul ensured that happened by moving you and Olivia to another part of the school rather than the classroom you normally occupy. That was actually smart thinking on his part as it meant that Foster had to spend time tracking you down as you weren't where you were supposed to be. You saw what happened when he approached us and we confronted and disarmed him, but what you didn't see was when the law enforcement contingent arrived with a warrant and accessed the school security cameras as evidence before Ellis had chance to do anything and obviously she was also taken in for questioning due to the fact it was soon established she was the one who turned off the security cameras. Restraining orders have been placed on Davie Foster and the school board have been given evidence as the dubious morals of Ms Ellis" he stops and my mouth is wide open, I had no idea that all that had happened and been put together. "We have had this plan in place for a while and just waiting for the opportunity to implement it" Raul says smugly.

"Jeez Raul I'm impressed, does this mean we are safe now?" I ask.

Raul shrugs slightly, "I would say to a degree, they will regroup and try again but for now we have taken out Davie Foster and Hilary Ellis and considering the donations your father makes to the school my guess would be they will be looking for a new Vice Principal shortly" he says confidently.

I stand up, "Well I feel much better knowing that" I say, I hug Raul, "Thank you Raul" I say.

He hugs me back, "You are very welcome Denise" he replies.

I turn to my dad, "Josh said Mike has been hassling him again is there anything we can do for him to put a stop to it?" I ask.

My dad nods, "I'll have a chat with him after dinner and see what we can come up with, I've also found him somewhere to live" he says.

My heart sinks at this news and my father notices, "You want him to stay here don't you?" he says.

I nod and my father thinks for a moment, "Well... it is Josh's decision whether or not to stay here, we have to give him the option, but I will make it clear to him he is welcome to stay here if he wants to is that alright?" he says.

I nod again and hug my father tightly, "Thank you daddy" I whisper to him.

**oooOOOooo**

_Two weeks later at the Women's Correctional Facility in Washington State..._

**(TAYLOR)**

"What do you mean, they were on to you? How ith that pothible?" I am watching Elena screaming at her sister who is sitting uncomfortably in front of her. Elena is still severely bruised and bandaged up, with one arm in a sling and I am shocked it must have been one hell of a beating she took for her to still look this bad. She is talking with a slight lisp due to the lack of teeth which had been punched out, but she is still managing to intimidate her sister who is staring at her wide eyed and clearly afraid.

"I have no idea Helen; we had it planned down to the last detail. I turned off the security camera's at 3 o clock and Foster's boy arrived shortly afterwards, but then they didn't stay in the classroom which they normally use, they moved out to the school foyer at the other end of the school. I had to go and track down Foster and tell him where they were, but by the time he reached them the window for him had expired and he was caught on the cameras, but they must have known, because one of those Close Protection guys shouted and as soon as he did that men appeared from everywhere it was if they were lying in wait. Then the police arrived with a warrant and took all the security camera data which also showed the fact I had accessed them and it had been my code to override them and switch them off. I don't know how they could possibly have found out but they were on to us Helen I'm sure of it" Hilary stops and looks at her sister who is still beside herself.

"Tho what happenth now?" Elena snaps, but the intensity is lost with the lisp coming through and I smile.

"With the evidence they gave the school board I have been encouraged to resign, they are not going to jeopardise the donations Cross gives to the school" Hilary says sadly.

"FUCK!" Elena screams, "Thith ith what comes of relying on other people, I am thtuck in here if I wathn't in here ..." she stops and shakes her head and then stares coldly at her sister. "You failed me Hilary I will not forget thith you were thupposed to be the one person I could count on not to fail me, you are my own blood you were thupposed to do thith for me" she says.

Hilary shakes her head, "No way Helen I won't have you drop this on me, I never wanted to do this. I wanted to start afresh, restart my life. I had got myself a good job and I was settled but you had to drag me back into all your sick shit again. I was never happy about doing this, they are children, and all they have done is have Gideon Cross as their father. You need to let this go Helen, its ridiculous your grudge against him, yes he is Christian Grey's brother, so fucking what? He didn't turn Grey against you, you did that all by yourself when you and Stephen went after his wife, and it's about time you realised that fact. I have tried to understand you and make allowances for you because what happened to you as a kid but I could never understand why you got together with Stephen, you need to stop Helen you need to get help and stop, please" Hilary stops speaking and stares pleadingly at her sister.

I see a sneer appear on Elena's face, "ith that what you think, ith that what you really think?" she says.

Hilary nods clasping her hands tightly together.

"Well now I know, perhapth it wath you who tipped off Cross and his team becauth you were tho againthed the plan?" she spits.

"No I would never!" Hilary gasps in shock.

"You have turned againthed me Hilary, you are no longer my thithter I will get my revenge on Croth, and that mouthy little bitch my Chrithtian married not to mention the thpawn she bore him, I will get him to return to me he ith mine, I moulded him into the thuccessful man he became, I made him he wath my greatest accomplishment he ith my greatetht accomplishment and he will be grateful to me and return to me, do you hear me, HE. ITH. MINE!" she yells.

I shake my head, but can't help laughing at her demented outburst.

"She's on good form isn't she?" Jeff whispers to me.

I snort with laughter, "you can say that again".

**oooOOOooo**

_First thing that morning in New York..._

**(DENISE)**

I am staring at Josh who is sleeping beside me, I still have difficulty believing this perfect man is mine and he loves me the way he does. He had spoken with my father and chosen to stay here with us after establishing that it was really ok with my dad for him to do so.

I am in awe of him; he has given up his family for me. I know he still speaks to his sisters but he has blocked his father completely. He has made a few trips to his parent's home and retrieved his belongings and he is now fully ensconced here. My dad has been brilliant he has totally welcomed him into our home and as well as providing security for him he has helped place a restraining order on Mike. He has been making a nuisance of himself so often recently but now my dad has sorted it so he isn't allowed anywhere near Josh, I feel I can finally start to relax and look forward.

Hilary Ellis has left the school so I know she is no longer a threat, Davie Foster is off the scene he had sung like a canary giving police information not only about Sybil Hanson's hold over his family but the issues and sickness within the family itself. He is now receiving help and counselling along with his siblings and Donny Foster is in jail awaiting trial for child abuse, incest and indecency charges. I know it will be only a matter of time before Sybil Hanson gets her act together and tries something else but for now I am breathing easy, and decide to take advantage of this new found calm. I am also impressed with how smoothly and quickly things have moved. I have long since realised my dad has great influence because of his wealth and the status that brings, and in this case I am happy about it.

I watch Josh sleeping and I smile, I love him that isn't in question but it's the depth of that love which takes my breath away and scares me at times. I worry I am too dependent on him, my need for him is so great, it's a need inside me, I almost feel I can't breathe without him. He rouses and looks up at me.

"Hmmm, good morning!" he mutters and reaches for me.

"Good morning to you too" I say, as he reaches for me the now familiar wave of nausea sweeps over me, and I push him away slapping my hand over my mouth as I rush to the bathroom. Josh follows and kneels beside me holding my hair as I vomit.

When I have finished and am feeling better we shower and go to get dressed. I am noticing that my jeans are getting tighter and harder to fasten I pause in my struggle and stand sideways and look at myself in the mirror. I have worked out I am about 12/13 weeks pregnant now and surely to goodness I shouldn't be showing yet? But as I stand there I see it, the tiniest little indication of the life growing inside me. I run my hand over the tiny barely there bump as Josh walks up behind me.

"What are you doing?" he asks as he wraps his arms around me and presses a kiss to my shoulder.

"Discovering things, do you see it?" I say as I point out the slight bump, Josh looks in the mirror and then down over my shoulder at me, and he runs his hand over it gently.

"Wow" he says with almost a quiet reverence, and then he spins me around and crouches in front of me and presses a kiss to the bump. "Hello baby I'm your daddy" he then whispers to it. I feel a lump in my throat as he does this. I pull off the jeans and go and find another pair which hopefully I will be able to fasten, before heading down to breakfast.

It is now November at some point another month started and now I am looking forward to thanksgiving and Christmas. I wonder what Josh is going to do, if he will spend the day with us or go and see his own family. We normally alternate between going to Seattle or staying here and Uncle Christian, Aunt Ana and Phoebe flying in. This year it is our turn to fly to Seattle, it's always a huge operation when we go to Seattle, because it's not only us flying out, but also granddad, Uncle Chris and Aunty Ireland fly out with us. However it's not as massive as the operation when we host and everyone has to fly across the country to us. We don't see much of Uncle Chris or Aunty Ireland now. They are both in relationships and have their own lives and I wonder if they will make the trip this year, I know granddad will, we still see him about 3 times a week, when he comes over to visit.

I realise that this year will be the first time Josh will get to meet my other grandfather, granddad Victor, as my dad always flies him in from California at Thanksgiving, we don't see him very often, my mom's dad is a cop in California and we stay in touch with him via Skype, email and telephone. Also Josh will get to meet Uncle Ray and Aunt Denise, who will be flying in from Detroit, technically speaking they are not really my aunt and uncle at all, but it has always just been easier to call them that.

"Hey, penny for them?" Josh says, pulling me from my thoughts.

I smile at him, "I was just thinking how we are in November now and before we know it, it will be thanksgiving and Christmas. We always have a huge family get together at these times as my dad insists on it, he always has. This year it's our turn to fly out to Seattle, as my dad and Uncle Christian take it in turns to be the host. My mom's dad, Granddad Victor will be there as he will be flying in from California, my dad always sends a plane for him and Uncle Ray and Aunty Denise will also be there, they always come but Uncle Christian takes care of their transportation from Detroit".

Josh thinks for a moment, "Uncle Ray and Aunty Denise?... now that is your Aunt Ana's father and your Uncle Christian's biological aunt who got together, right?" he asks.

I nod, "yeah that's right, and Aunt Denise is the lady who delivered me and saved my life when I was born, and who I am named after" I say.

Josh nods, I think carefully and then ask the question I need answering. "What are your plans for thanksgiving, I mean I'd love for you to come with us to Seattle but if you want to see your family I would totally understand and I won't hold it against you?" I say carefully.

Josh smiles at me, "You are my family now, I will be where you are" he says simply and those words take all the air from my lungs in a rush.

I stare at him, "You are sure?" I push.

He nods firmly, "I will call my mom and sisters and wish them a happy thanksgiving but I don't want to talk to him" Josh says bitterly.

My father appears and sits down at the kitchen table with a mug of coffee, and greets us all. Zoe is busy tucking into a bowl of cereal and Liv has made some toast for herself. My father looks at me as I settle myself at the table with a plate of toast.

"What time is your hospital appointment?" he asks.

I stare blankly at him, "What hospital appointment?" I say, and then Josh pulls his phone from his pocket.

"Your twelve week appointment and scan I have it here in my phone" he says as he scrolls through his phone. "Here, it's at 10:35" he says.

I smile at him, "It's a good job one of us is organised!" I say I see my father shake his head in exasperation.

"I can't believe you didn't put the appointment into your phone" he says.

"Well neither did you, or you wouldn't have been asking when it was" I retort.

My father doesn't answer but just takes a gulp of his coffee.

After breakfast we are all getting our things together ready to head out, I had wondered why the heightened security hadn't been relaxed a little since the events which had seen off most of our enemies, but I remember Mike is still out there and totally fucking crazy so I don't say anything.

**oooOOOooo**

When it's time for me to head out of school for my hospital appointment, I am escorted by Paul and I see the Bentley is waiting at the kerb, as I climb inside Josh is already sitting there, but my father isn't and I turn to Raul and look at him questioningly.

"Isn't dad coming?" I ask my disappointment evident in my voice.

He nods, "He is but he was in a meeting and he requested we swing by and pick him up last" Raul explains. I nod and settle into the seat; Josh puts his arm around me and pulls me close. Paul climbs in beside me leaving the front passenger seat free for my dad.

We swing past the Crossfire and my father strides out and climb's into the car and we head to the hospital. When we arrive Raul drops us off and goes to park as we head inside. He joins us just as my name is called. Josh stands and holding my hand tightly leads me into the doctor's office.

Everything is going well and according to plan, and I am gaining the right amount of weight for the stage I am at. My father doesn't say anything but just sits and listens. Then when we head into the back room for the ultrasound scan my father once again hangs back I pause and look at him.

"Are you not coming in?" I ask.

"I wanted to give you both some privacy" he says.

I shake my head, "No, I want you there dad" I say adamantly.

My father glances at Josh who nods his head firmly, "Yes sir, it wouldn't be right if you weren't there too" he says.

With that my father gracefully stands and follows us in. I climb on to the bed and Josh goes to sit beside me but then hesitates and offers the seat to my father.

"No Josh that is your place" my dad says, Josh sits down and grasps my hand and my father goes to stand behind him and he leans against the wall with his arms folded.

I gasp as I see the small figure on the screen. It is totally different from the last scan, this isn't just a blob this is distinctly human shaped, I can see arms and legs. Dr Henderson does measurements and checks and tells us from the data I am 13 weeks pregnant now, and I have been given a due date of 3rd May, which counting back puts the conception right when I was sick, at the beginning of September so it was clearly one of the last times we made love before I got sick which created this baby.

Josh stares at the baby on the screen, "When will we be able to know what sex the baby is?" he asks suddenly.

I stare at him, I'm not sure I want to know and Dr Henderson smiles at us.

"If you want to know then at your 18 week appointment we should be able to see, if baby co-operates" she says.

Josh nods and thanks her. Dr Henderson prints off pictures for us and I immediately hand one to my father, he studies it closely and I see him swallow hard and his eyes get distinctly shiny.

We drop Josh off first at college and as we pull up I step out with him to hug him and say goodbye, it occurs to me for the first time Harley isn't here.

"Where's Harley?" I ask.

"I'm right here Miss" a voice from behind me says, I turn and see him approach, "I've been around you just didn't see me" he adds with a grin, he turns to Josh, "Ready?" he asks Josh nods and then turns to me and hugs me tightly and kisses me.

As we break apart I hear a shout and look and see Mike Foster approaching at speed.

"Get in the car Dennie" Josh says, but me being me I don't listen, the next thing I realise my father, Raul and Paul are all out of the car and Mike skids to a halt a few feet away. He stares at the group and as crazy as he is I think even he realises six against one isn't good odds.

"You fucking bitch, you will pay for what you did, you took Josh away from me and not satisfied with that you took my family away from me. I will take your family I swear to fucking god, I will make you feel how I feel you will pay for what you have done!" With that he turns and runs away, I stare at Josh who just holds me closer.

"It's ok baby, I won't let him hurt you" he says calmly.

Raul is talking on the phone and it dawns on me what he means, Donnie Foster is in prison and his brother Davie is in a psychiatric unit, I have no idea what has happened to his sister and his other brother but obviously the family has been split up completely, and Mike is struggling with that, and he blames me for it… brilliant!

"Come on Josh lets get inside" Harley says, and Josh nods, he turns to me and strokes my cheek.

"Be careful and stay with Paul, please don't make me worry about you any more than I do" Josh says I nod at him and squeeze him tightly.

"Same goes for you, stay safe" I say quietly.

Josh kisses me, "I will" he says.

With that he turns and leaves with Harley at his side, I call out to Harley.

"Hey Harley!" I call, and he turns and looks at me, "Keep him safe" I say, and Harley nods and salutes me, before turning and heading inside.

I turn to Raul, "Am I to be worried about that outburst?" I ask.

Raul shakes his head, "It's nothing he hasn't said before, but the difference is he has just violated his restraining order and we have the threat recorded on my phone so he'll be picked up in a short while" he says.

I nod and climb back into the car, my father climbs in beside me and Paul gets in the front with Raul.

"Are you ok?" my dad asks me.

I nod, "I'm fine" I say.

As we are driving to school I turn to my dad, and ask something which has been bugging me all morning, "Are you ok dad?" I ask.

He looks at me in surprise, "Of course I am why?" he says.

"It's just… you were so quiet at the hospital and the way you hung back and weren't going to come in, that's all" I say with a shrug.

My father smiles, "No sweetheart, I will say I am still trying to find my place with you now and it's hard for me. You are my eldest daughter and I know you are starting a family of your own, but you are still so very young, so it is hard for me to know how far I should go. I don't want to tread on Josh's toes but I still feel it is my place to protect you" he says.

I am surprised at his honesty, I think for a moment, "You are this baby's granddad, you are my dad, and I told you when I first started dating Josh that you would always be the number one man in my life, Josh accepts the fact you will be there he said it is... what was it he said?" I pause as I try to remember the exact words Josh had used when we had had a similar conversation, and I had been concerned that he would feel my dad was butting in.

"He said Dennie you are sixteen years old, and as such it is inconceivable that your dad wouldn't be there. I don't resent the fact you and your dad are close, I think it is wonderful and I never want to come between you two, the relationship you have is special" I stop and my dad just stares at me.

"He said that?" he asks his voice hoarse, and I nod.

"He did dad, and he thinks you walk on water..." I pause and grin at him and then nudge his shoulder "I can't think why?" I add sarcastically.

My dad grins at me but I can tell he was moved by what Josh had said.

I realise we have pulled up at school and I reach over and kiss my dad's cheek, "Bye dad see you later" I say.

My father hugs me, and places a small kiss in my hair, "Have a good day sweetheart" he says.

I climb out and Paul joins me and I wave at the Bentley as it pulls away, and even though I couldn't see through the heavily tinted windows, I know my dad would've waved back.


	19. Chapter 19

CHAPTER 19

_Three Weeks Later..._

It's stupid o clock and I am in a semi comatose state huddled up in a blanket on board my father's plane waiting to take off to Seattle. Not one of us is totally awake, but considering it is 6:30am that is hardly surprising. Aunty Ireland is here with her man, Gareth. Granddad is here and smiling widely, I find it ironic he is the oldest one here but he is the one who is the most awake and least grumpy! My father is pacing and looking at his watch, and then I see a figure appear in the doorway.

"I know I know, I'm sorry! My alarm didn't go off and it wasn't till you called that I woke up" Uncle Christopher looks dishevelled and barely dressed as he walks on to the plane clutching his duffel bag, he throws it down and shakes my dad's hand.

"Well you are here now, sit down so we can go" my dad says.

"Where's Emily?" I ask.

Uncle Christopher looks at me and smiles, "She is spending thanksgiving with her folks" he says.

"Does that not bother you?" I ask.

He shakes his head, "No not really" he says.

I glance across at Aunty Ireland who rolls her eyes, and reaches for the hand of the man sitting next to her. He smiles at her indulgently, before turning his attention to my dad.

"I like to thank you for inviting me along for thanksgiving" he says.

My dad watches them and nods but says nothing. He is very quiet and I know why, he is thinking of my mom.

I am sixteen weeks pregnant now and thankfully now the morning sickness isn't a problem anymore I had noticed it was becoming less and less and then this past week I haven't been sick at all in the mornings, which considering this early start I am more than thankful for.

My tiny bump is getting bigger too and I no longer have any 'normal' jeans which I can fit into which initially sent me into tailspin. Josh bought me a pair of maternity jeans which didn't help; I had stared at them and then burst into tears, but I came around and accepted it was inevitable. It is still tiny in the big scheme of things. I mean when I am wearing certain clothes you wouldn't even know I am pregnant.

At this moment though here on the plane, I am wearing sweat pants and a hoodie because it is cold, I mean it is mid November and we actually had some snow flurries a few days ago, so I will be glad to get to Seattle if I am honest as its always warmer there, much wetter but distinctly warmer.

I look up and am aware we are moving. Liv and Zoe are dozing and Josh looks like he is going to fall asleep any moment. I am ready to curl up in bed and can't wait until we can move about so I can go and lie down in one of the bedrooms. Soon we are in the air and able to unbuckle our seatbelts, I nudge Josh and we head back to the bedroom.

The next thing I realise I am being gently shaken and Josh is whispering in my ear. I open my eyes and he is smiling at me.

"Hey, we are due to land soon so I thought I'd wake you, your dad just came in. I was awake so he left it to me to wake you and it sounds like everyone else is awake" he says.

I nod and stretch, I head for a quick shower and then we dress and head out to the main cabin. I pour some orange juice and settle myself in one of the comfortable seats everyone is chattering about thanksgiving and how wonderful it will be to see everyone again. When we finally land and the doors open we head out and the first thing we see is Uncle Christian's plane taxiing to a halt and also another one of my father's jets nearby. It occurs to me that granddad Victor must be on my dad's other plane and Uncle Christian's plane is bringing Uncle Ray and Aunt Denise. We head down the steps to a fleet of cars and my aunt and uncle standing beaming at us, Phoebe is with them and she grins at me when she sees me.

Zoe is a ball of excitement and hurls herself at everyone in turn, before commandeering Jason and Luke and excitedly talking to them about her plans while she is here. They indulgently listen and answer her.

"Everyone has arrived all at once" Uncle Christian says grinning at us as he greets us all.

I see my grandfather as he makes his way towards us and we lock our gaze, as he sees me he stops and holds open his arms to me and I walk into them. His presence always calms and reassures me, his whole demeanour screams law enforcement and it always just gives you confidence.

"Hey there" he whispers to me, "How are you?" he asks anxiously.

I smile up at him, "I'm good honestly" I say sincerely, I look behind me and pull Josh forward.

"Granddad this is Josh, my boyfriend and my baby's father. Josh this is my granddad Victor, he is my mom's dad. I know you've both met on Skype but it's only right to introduce you properly now you are face to face". I say then I stop and hug him again. Liv and Zoe appear for a hug and I step away and straight into the arms of my aunt.

She holds me at arms length and looks carefully at me, her eyes settling on my belly.

"You have a little bump" she whispers with a smile and I nod.

I touch it and pull my hoodie tight so it is more visible "I know, look at it none of my jeans fit me now and Josh bought me some maternity ones" I say shaking my head.

Aunt Ana laughs, "I'm afraid you can't have a baby without gaining weight and getting bigger" she says.

We all move over to the GEH jet where Uncle Ray and Aunt Denise are disembarking, there is the usual round of greetings and hugs and then we all clamber into the waiting fleet of cars to head back to Uncle Christian's home on the Sound.

When we arrive we unload all our stuff in our rooms, and I smile as Josh is shown to the small guest room he occupied back in the summer. Uncle Christian won't let us share a room on his watch even though he has a houseful of guests, but it's not like he doesn't have the room here and I am prepared to abide by his rules while I am a guest in his home.

As I sit there, my door opens and Phoebe comes in.

"Hi Dennie, happy thanksgiving!" she says with a grin as she comes towards me and hugs me tightly.

"Hi Pheebs, same to you" I say.

I can tell she is desperate to speak to me about something so I sit down again, "Alright Pheebs, what's up?" I say.

"Well..." she stops, and looks down at her fingers knotting on her lap, and I frown.

"Come on Phoebe spit it out" I say.

She looks up at me, "I just wanted to say thank you" she says.

"Thank you? What for?" I ask in confusion.

"Since the summer when you spoke to dad our relationship has been loads better, we are really close now, like how we used to be when I was a little kid. It seems so stupid that we had lost that through our own mutual stubbornness, and it wasn't until you pointed that out to us, so thank you" she says.

I wrap my arms around her shoulder and hug her towards me, "You are welcome" I say with more than a feeling of pride inside me.

Phoebe looks at me and grins, "Now I've got that out of the way I have something else I want to talk about" she says.

I look at her questioningly and she points to my belly.

I lift up my T shirt slightly and standing up I show her my tiny barely there bump, but she gasps as she sees it her eyes widening.

"God that makes it so real" she says.

I sit down and pull my T Shirt back down again.

"Were you totally terrified when you found out?" she asks.

I nod, "I was but Josh has been fantastic and so has dad. I have to say though, dad lost it completely when we first told him and I thought I had completely destroyed my relationship with him, but he came around and his support has been absolute, I couldn't have done without him" I say. I reach for my purse and pull out the scan pictures I have tucked safely inside.

I explain them as I show them to Phoebe. "That one was done when I was about 6/7 weeks pregnant" I say Phoebe stares at it in confusion.

"I don't see anything" she says.

I laugh, "That's what Liv said when I showed her, to be fair I'd didn't see anything either until it was pointed out to me" I point to the small blob "There, that blob is my baby" I say.

Phoebe's mouth drops open and then I show her the second one, "This one was done at the beginning of November and Dr Henderson said I was 13 weeks pregnant when she did this" I hand over the picture and Phoebe's eyes widen.

"Shit Dennie, now that looks like a baby!" she gasps. I nod and rub my hand over my belly.

She hands me back the scan pictures. "Do you know what you are having?" she asks.

I shake my head, "No not yet, Dr Henderson said we will possibly be able to find out at my next appointment as I will be about 18 weeks then, Josh wants to know but I'm not sure" I say.

"Oh I'd want to know, then you can plan" Phoebe says firmly, "You can pick a name and that will make the baby seem more real and personal rather than referring to it as the baby, and it will be a he or a she rather than it, which is always nicer" she says. I nod considering her words and realise that maybe I do want to find out.

The bedroom door opens and my Aunt Ana walks in she has an odd look on her face and it looks kind of sad.

"Are you coming downstairs girls?" she asks.

I look carefully at my aunt and walk over to her linking my arm in hers, "Can I talk to you privately a moment?" I ask, Aunt Ana nods and I turn and tell Phoebe I will see her downstairs.

As soon as we are alone I say what's on my mind, "Aunty Ana is everything ok, its just you looked so sad when you came in? Are you upset with me because I'm keeping my baby and denied you the chance to be a mother again?" I ask in a small voice.

My aunt shakes her head adamantly and hugs me tightly, "No, never. Don't ever think that, you are going to be a wonderful mother. No, it was... well... I heard what Phoebe said about knowing the sex of the baby" she says.

"Oh?" I ask.

My Aunt smiles sadly, "yes, I didn't pick Phoebe's name until after she was born, because of what had happened to me previously, and I nearly didn't find out the sex of the baby either for the same reason but it's just me being silly, you don't need to hear any of it" she says.

I shake my head, "No I want to know, please tell me" I say.

My aunt sighs, "Before I had Phoebe I was having another baby, but I lost him quite a way into the pregnancy, I miscarried him" she says.

I nod, I knew a little about this. My aunt has a faraway look on her face as she continues to talk and I don't say anything I just listen to her.

"I fell pregnant with Teddy soon after your uncle and I first met, it wasn't planned and we weren't together when I found out. We had not long broken up, we hadn't been together long and it wasn't working between us and so I ended it and I was planning on moving on. But then I found out I was pregnant with Teddy. I told Christian and after he freaked out about the whole situation he came around and although we weren't together he assured me he would support us. However, as you know we got back together and things improved between us and went from strength to strength. We found out I was expecting a little boy, and we named him and just like Phoebe said it _did_ make it all seem so real and the bond was greater as a result but that also made it hurt more when I lost him. He was a real person to me he not it; my son, my little Teddy so when I lost him..." she stops and shakes her head, I'm sorry I shouldn't be saying all this to you, you don't need to hear this" she says.

I wrap my arms around her and hug her, "No, I'm glad you did, so when you were expecting Phoebe, you didn't find out the sex of the baby or name her till she was born?" I ask.

My aunt shakes her head, "No, we found out the sex of the baby but I refused to give her a name. I had this notion that I would be jinxing something if I did" she says, "hearing Phoebe talking it just brought that time all back to me, I often think oh he would be this old now, and I wonder what he would've done with his life" she adds. Then she smiles widely, "But that's all ancient history now and I'm sorry I have put all my baggage on you" she says.

I shake my head, "No, I'm glad you did, Aunty Ana how did you get over the miscarriage, I mean..." I stop.

She shakes her head, "I don't think I ever did really, it still hurts even after all these years when I think about him, it was the guilt more than anything as I felt a tremendous amount of guilt that I didn't do enough to try and save him, that I ignored the warning signs and denied anything was wrong. I still do to some extent I wonder if things could've been different if I had only taken more notice of the pains I was getting. I don't think you ever get over the loss of a child though and even though Teddy hadn't been born he was still my son. I said goodbye to him afterwards and then we scattered his ashes on the beach down by the sound".

I stare at her, and she shakes her head sadly.

"Denise, I'm sorry I shouldn't have said all that to you, please forgive me".

I shake my head, "No its fine honestly" I say, I pause, "that wasn't the only miscarriage you had was it?" I ask warily.

Aunty Ana shakes her head sadly, "No, after Phoebe I suffered five more, it was after the fifth that Christian put his foot down and said no more as he couldn't watch me go through that again. They were all early first trimester miscarriages though and they all happened soon after I discovered I was pregnant, don't get me wrong it hurt and hurt severely but losing Teddy was something I don't think I have ever really got over" she stops and then seems to shake herself. "I'm sorry" she whispers.

"Actually it has helped me with a decision" I say.

"Oh!" My Aunt stares at me in surprise.

I nod, "Yes, when we went for the last scan Josh asked when we would be able to find out what we were having, I wasn't sure I wanted to find out and I was wondering how to put that to him, but after listening to your story and what Phoebe said it has changed my mind and now I want to know. I know all the pro's and cons about knowing versus not knowing and I think I'd like to" I say.

My aunt smiles at me "You never cease to amaze me the way you work things out in your mind and consider all the options before making a decision about anything, you are so mature" she says with a warm loving smile.

**oooOOOooo**

Thanksgiving is wonderful, having the whole family together is something I always enjoy participating in, everyone is cooing over Aunt Mia's baby and comments are made as I hold her. I think Josh is a little overwhelmed by the amount of people here. I am a little sad my mom's mother isn't here with her husband. We rarely see them, they send birthday and Christmas gifts and cards but they never visit us or participate in family get togethers. I often wonder why they are so distant, my dad said that there was a misunderstanding before mom died and the estrangement grew from there. I have noticed Josh has been talking quite a bit with my granddad Victor and Uncle Ray, he seems to have hit it off with Uncle Ray considerably and I wander over to them as they are sitting talking.

"Denise, how are you?" Uncle Ray says, as I sit down beside them.

"I'm fine thank you, how are you?" I ask politely.

"Oh busy, Denise keeps me on my toes" he says with a grin, at this I see Aunt Denise approach and stand up again as she reaches for me and hugs me.

"I can't believe how you have a grown up" she says smiling at me, "I still remember the day you were born as if it was yesterday and here you are starting your own little family!" she says. I laugh and Josh looks slightly uncomfortable.

Thanksgiving follows the same tradition as always, we have a huge dinner and then spend the afternoon talking and catching up with everyone and then the old karaoke machine is dragged out and everyone participates in making fools of themselves. Apparently this has been the tradition for years, it started one New Year apparently, but then somehow thanksgiving got included along the way over the years and it stuck becoming a firm family tradition. I have happy memories of mom and dad singing duets My mom's voice wasn't brilliant but she always participated with good humour. My dad has a brilliant voice and it always has the ability to stun everyone into silence when he sings.

Josh looks horrified by the prospect of singing, he stares at me helplessly.

"I don't have to do this do I?" he whispers to me.

I laugh, "No not if you don't want to but everyone else has a go, so you will be the odd one out" I say.

"Everyone?" he asks.

I nod, "It is quite a tradition, normally Granddad Victor, Granddad Chris, Carrick and Uncle Ray all sing together, it's a standing joke we call them the family boy band. My dad, Uncle Elliot, Uncle Christopher and Uncle Christian always sing something together but that is normally towards the end of the night when they are all pretty well oiled with alcohol".

Josh looks incredulously at me when I say that and I nod. "You will see another side to my dad and Uncle Christian tonight I'm telling you, when they let their hair down. My dad always used to take a turn with mom as well and sing a duet with her, and everyone has at least one turn even if it's just joining in with someone else" I say.

Josh shakes his head. "So I'll be a killjoy if I don't" he says, but he still looks uncomfortable with the prospect of singing.

I wrap my arms around his waist, "If you really don't want to then don't worry about it, I don't mind" I say.

I see Josh nod. My attention is drawn to the fact everyone has gone quiet and I turn my head to the makeshift stage area where my dad is grasping the microphone and I nudge Josh and nod my head towards my father. He has noticed the change that that has occurred, a silence has fallen over the room and I smile, everyone stops to listen to my dad sing as he has a wonderful voice and I love to hear it. I know immediately what he is going to sing, he goes up and sings solo and when he does his solo song he always picks the same one it's always been this one every year since mom died, I see tears forming in Grandma Grace's eyes and she clasps her hands in front of her mouth as she like everyone else knows what is coming.

"What's going on?" Josh asks as he takes in the mood change of the room.

"My dad is going to sing, everyone stops to hear him as he has a fantastic voice" I say, my eyes still glued on my father.

I turn my attention to Josh, "The first song that he always sings is always the same song, and without fail it reduces everyone to tears, because he always sings to my mom" I say and I swallow hard.

"What does he sing?" he asks looking at me.

"That old LA Guns song, Crystal Eyes" I say.

Sure enough the familiar song melody comes on and my father closes his eyes and starts to sing. Everyone's attention is fully focused on him as he makes his way through the familiar song. As the song ends there is the usual deathly silence and you could hear a pin drop. There is not one person in the room who hasn't been moved by what my dad has just sung. He can come across as a cold and unemotional person at times but when you hear him sing that song he puts in every bit of emotion he has and it never fails to create a big reaction.

"Wow" Josh gasps, "That was incredible… he really loved her didn't he?" he says, clearly moved by what he has just heard.

I nod, tears rolling down my cheeks, "and still does, it always gets to me, especially the bit where it says she's an angel, as angel was my dad's pet name for my mom, and he always says he'd captured an angel when he speaks of how they met, and the bit where he sings _You never know she comes and goes, Slips through the veil of the dead of night._ I know he still dreams about her and that bit always makes me shiver, you know, knowing that fact" I say. To my surprise my dad doesn't step down but fiddles with the settings this is different, he turns around and faces everyone.

"As you know I always sing that song, and you know I always sing it to my angel in heaven but this year I want to start a new tradition, a look forward to the future. As you all know I am going to be a grandfather soon and I think I should acknowledge that with this..." he turns and presses a button.

As he turns back he looks for Liv and Zoe and speaks their names then his gaze turns to me and when he finds me he smiles, "this song is for my three beautiful daughters and for my unborn grandchild".

We listen as he starts to sing Forever Young, by Bob Dylan. Yes its cheesy, yes it schmaltz by the bucket load but at this moment I don't care, my dad is telling us how much he loves us all. I look across at Liv and Zoe who are staring at him, their mouths open. As it ends I leave Josh's arms and walk towards my dad and grab a second mic. I had considered singing this earlier but dismissed the idea as ridiculous but now I am sure, I grab his arm as he goes to move away.

"No, daddy I need you to stay here with me" I say, he pauses and smiles and then nods.

"What do you want to sing?" he asks.

I quickly find the song I am looking for, "this… although I think the word sing is probably pushing it" I say.

I glance over and see Josh is watching intently. Once more the room is deathly quiet, but this time it's probably overwhelming horror at what I am about to do as my singing voice is ropey to put it politely and I really hope I do this justice. I look at my dad and he swallows hard and then nods at me.

I turn to the room, "I want to sing a song now, but as you know a singing voice was not something I have been blessed with and quite frankly I'm scared shh... erm witless so I need my dad here to give me the courage while I destroy it, because after all this song is for him" there is a rumble of laughter around the room as I quickly stop myself from cursing, and then I press the button and an old Nancy Sinatra song comes on. I reach out and grab my dad's hand and turn to him as I start to sing.

I catch sight of Phoebe who has moved and is standing with Uncle Christian and has her head resting on his shoulder and her arm linked around his, as I sing. I let out a huge breath when I have finished and my dad just pulls me close and kisses my head. Everyone breaks into spontaneous applause and I search for Josh who is clapping proudly. I start to laugh at the undeserved praise, I'm not a singer and by rights I should never even go near a microphone!

"I won't inflict any more pain on everyone!" I say as I put down the microphone and step down, Josh walks over to me and hugs me.

"That was beautiful" he says.

I laugh again and shove his shoulder, "I'll pay you later" I quip.

Josh shakes his head, "No, it wasn't the way you sang it, it was the fact you sang it there is a difference and the love you have for your dad just shone through and it was beautiful" he says.

The evening wears on and everyone is in good spirits Uncle Elliot, Uncle Ethan and Uncle Christopher get up and start to do a hilarious version of Bohemian Rhapsody and as soon as they start Uncle Christian and my dad jump up on stage to join them. Carrick, Granddad Chris, Granddad Victor and Uncle Ray do a turn and they play on their boy band label by doing a rendition of Rule the World by British Boy Band Take That. Aunty Ana, Aunty Kate, Aunty Mia and Aunty Ireland do a hysterical rendition of Wannabe by the Spice Girls and everyone is practically rolling around on the floor by the time it comes to an end.

"You haven't been up yet Josh" Uncle Christian says as he walks over and slaps Josh on the shoulder, my Uncle isn't drunk but he is very mellow by this point and Josh just smiles but doesn't say anything.

"Don't listen to him, if you don't want to it doesn't matter" I say and run my hand down his back.

Josh just nods and carries on watching everyone.

"At the end of the night we all get together and sing we are family will you join in on that?" I ask him and he looks at me and nods.

"Alright" he replies.

I go and talk to Grandma Grace who is sitting quietly, I sit down beside her and she smiles at me.

"Denise darling how are you?" she asks as she embraces me.

"I'm ok" I say "It's been a rough few months but I'm seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and I know I have my dad and Josh beside me supporting me" I say.

Grace smiles, "That boy loves you" she says nodding towards Josh.

"I know he does and I love him too" I reply.

I look up and see my father coming and sitting beside Grace and kissing her cheek fondly.

"Are you alright mom?" he asks.

"I am darling, thank you" she replies, she studies him closely and adds "and I think you are finally getting there too aren't you?" she puts her hand on his arm.

I see him swallow and nod.

"Looking to the future Gideon" she says to him as she presses a small kiss to his cheek and pats his hand.

Our attention is drawn to the stage and I gasp as I see Josh is up there, Uncle Christian at his side showing him how to work the karaoke machine. I see him nod and then Uncle Christian slaps him on the back and steps away. Josh turns and begins to speak.

"I'd just like to say thank you to Mr and Mrs Grey for inviting me here and to everyone who has made me feel so welcome. I wasn't going to sing tonight I've never done anything like this, and I don't even know if I can sing as I've never done it so I apologise in advance if this is a complete train wreck!" he stops and fiddles with the karaoke and glances desperately at Uncle Christian who immediately steps up and helps him, then moments later a song starts to play and Josh turns and seeking me out finds me and keeping his eyes locked on mine he starts to sing.

I feel a huge lump in my throat as I hear an old familiar song. It's an old Bon Jovi song and my mouth drops open as Josh starts to sing. His voice is breathtakingly amazing and the room falls silent to listen to him, everyone's eyes are on him but his are locked on me.

I listen to the words and I know that Josh is sending me a message about how he feels about me and I receive it loud and clear. As the song comes to an end I stand up as the room breaks out into loud spontaneous applause and as Josh comes towards me I fling my arms around him and kiss him violently not caring who sees me. When we eventually pull apart I turn and see Ireland's boyfriend Gareth step up, he pauses a moment and glances at Josh.

"Wow, how do you follow that?" he says with a small laugh. "Ok just slightly nervous here, this song is for my beautiful girlfriend Ireland and I want you to listen carefully to this song baby as there is a message for you here!" he calls. Aunty Ireland goes red and nods.

Everyone gasps as a cheesy, familiar song comes on and one which before a word is even sung we know what Gareth wants to ask. He grips the mic reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small box and opening it he drops to one knee and starts to sing.

The song ends and everyone is staring at Ireland who is completely dumbstruck.

"What do you say Ireland, will you marry me baby?" Gareth asks carefully.

I see the smile cross her lips and she nods her head, "Ok" she says nonchalantly.

Gareth drops the mic and rushes to her picking her up and spinning her round, and he places the ring on her finger. Everyone surges forward and handshakes and hugs are being given and shouts of congratulations are ringing out.

"Well this was one hell of a thanksgiving!" Uncle Christian says, "I don't think we can top that!" he adds.

Soon everyone is drinking champagne, I have a glass of lemonade along with my sisters and a toast is given to Ireland and Gareth.

After the toast to them Uncle Christian raises his glass again, "So I think there should be one more toast, Happy thanksgiving everyone and to family!" he says.

Everyone's glasses rise, "To family!" is the loud response.

Songs:

**LA Guns - Crystal Eyes**

**Bob Dylan - Forever Young**

**Nancy Sinatra – It's for my Dad**

**Bon Jovi – Thank You for Loving Me**

**Bruno Mars – Marry You**


	20. Chapter 20

CHAPTER 20

_Two Months Later..._

**(GIDEON)**

I am sitting at my desk at work, and I am taking a moment after a particularly productive day. I am pretty hyped and positive at this moment, I have just bought a golf course today and I plan to utilise my daughter's uncanny ability to know how to market and promote things, to help me develop it. Denise is a natural when it comes to advertising, she grew up watching Eva and learning from her and it appears she learnt well.

I am so proud of Denise; she is on track to graduate at the end of this school year against all the odds. The baby is due when she is to take her final exams and she has really got it together and we are in the process of arranging for her to either sit her final exams early or postpone until after the baby is born, the school is still deciding on what would be best. But whatever happens I want my daughter working at Cross Industries with me. I smile as I think of the fight we had over that, she wants to make her own mark and go her own way, but I hope to bring her around. I indulge in a moment to think back over the past couple of months.

Thanksgiving was amazing; it was great seeing everyone again. Then the traditional karaoke, the usual fun and games this year we were entertained by the ladies doing a hysterical rendition of Wannabe by the Spice Girls seeing Ana, Kate, Ireland and Mia putting their heart and soul into it, not to mention a fair amount of alcohol was involved, especially on the part of Kate she was practically wasted. Mia was pretty gone too which surprised me as she has a small baby, but it's none of my business.

My dad, Christopher and I were aware of Gareth's proposal we knew he was going to ask Ireland to marry him at some point over the Thanksgiving holiday, but the way he did it was classic. I was also quite moved by Josh and the way he sang to Denise, he has a really good voice too. But the moment of the night for me was when Denise sang to me. I have never been so moved in my entire life, Denise can't sing bless her heart and she knows her limitations and although she's always a good sport when we have karaoke night, she has always joined in with a group effort but she has never sung solo before. But this time she did it and the song she chose; well… it floored me completely.

Thanksgiving was hardly over when Christmas was upon us and then that came and went. It was our turn to host Christmas and New Year this year, which went very well, and now here we are it's mid January now, it is breathtaking how quickly time is moving. Denise is getting quite big now, she is 25 weeks pregnant and has quite a pronounced baby bump showing and Josh is being the attentive father.

He refused to speak to his father at Christmas and New Year, he only called and spoke to his sisters and his mother and he spent the festive season with us. I'm not one to talk I haven't spoken to my own mother for years but it saddens me to see Josh cutting off his father, even though Landon did deserve it and bring it on himself. We discovered that Denise and Josh are having a little boy. I could tell Josh was overjoyed at the prospect of a son, and I have to admit I am so excited at the prospect of having a grandson. I remember that hospital appointment back in early December when we all found out...

_"Miss Cross" the nurse calls my daughter and we all look up, and head into the doctor's office all the usual things are done and questions asked. _

_I watch carefully and say nothing. Josh and I appear to have come to a silent unspoken understanding, it's his place to ask the questions Denise doesn't ask and to speak up and have the say. I am gradually getting used to the role of grandfather, and I am slowly learning to accept the fact I have to take a back seat but it's been hard taking the step back. I am accepting it but that doesn't mean that I am totally happy about it. I believe Josh realises this and is keen to include me at every step which I am grateful for._

_Dr Henderson has done all the usual checks and tests and then we move to the scan room, I take my usual stance behind the chair that Josh is sitting on as Dr Henderson squirts gel on Denise's bump and runs the wand over it._

_The usual measurements and checks are done and Dr Henderson says that everything is as it should be and that the baby is growing well and then she asks the question._

_"I have a good view of the baby here, did you want to know the sex of the baby today?" she asks._

_Josh nods enthusiastically and looks at Denise hopefully and she smiles at him and nods._

_"Yes we do" Denise says quietly._

_I see Josh grip Denise's hand and I am transported back to when I discovered that the little baby on the screen was a girl and that baby girl was Denise, I swallow hard and listen carefully._

_Dr Henderson freezes the screen and points, "do you see those two bright spots there?" she says._

_Both Denise and Josh nod in unison._

_"Well that is definitive proof that you are expecting a little boy" she says with a smile, "Congratulations" she adds._

_Denise bursts into tears, which startles me but she quickly assures us all that they are tears of joy and Josh immediately grips her shoulders and kisses her. "I have a son! Thank you" I hear him whisper. He kisses her again and then turns his attention to me._

_"I'm going to have a son!" He says the smile broad across his face, "and you have a grandson" he adds._

_A grandson?! A little boy, I won't lie I love all three of my daughters with all my heart, but a boy, when Eva and I were building our family I secretly longed for a son, what man doesn't and I am envious of Josh at this moment. My mind suddenly goes into overdrive thinking of baseball games and football with my grandson, then I look at Josh and I stop dead, that is his place as the baby's father to do those things._

_"Are you going to tell your mom and dad?" Denise asks Josh._

_I see him hesitate, "I'll tell my mom and sisters" he replies, "so he will undoubtedly find out from them" he says._

_We head out and I see Josh on the phone, while he waits for Denise who has gone to the bathroom._

_"Mom, it's me... yeah I'm good... she is too, we have just been for our check up and we found out the baby's sex... yeah... it's a boy we are having a little boy mom... yeah a son, I am so proud, I can't stop thinking about taking him hiking, going to the football and baseball... yeah... yeah ok you can tell him but don't expect me to talk to him... no mom, he knows until he apologises I won't have anything to do with him and so far he refuses to do so... I don't care mom, listen I have to go now, bye mom, love you... yeah bye" I watch him hang up and slide his phone into his pocket._

_"So... a son!" I say to him as I walk forward and put my hand on his shoulder, once again I am gifted with a huge smile._

_"Yeah it's unreal, if I am honest I was hoping he was going to be a boy, I am not sure how I would have coped with a daughter, I mean what do you do with little girls? I'm in awe of you raising three daughters" he says._

_I laugh, "It's not been easy especially when they are all stubborn as hell" I say…_

I am drawn from my memory and reminiscing by my office phone ringing but as I go to answer, my cell phone buzzes I pull it from my pocket and see it is Raul. I frown he is supposed to be picking the girls up from school and Josh from college, this causes a frisson of worry go through me and so I ignore the office phone and answer my cell instead.

"Raul what's up?" I ask, foregoing all greeting and pleasantries.

"Sir, now I don't want you to panic but there has been an accident" he says calmly. I immediately stand and grab my jacket and shrug it on, anxiety spiking inside me.

"What's happened?" I snap, as I push my cell phone up to my ear and with my other hand I am shutting down my computer.

"I am at Mount Sinai, a car hit us as we were leaving the school today… it was pretty bad" he says.

"Shit!" I gasp. I am now in full blown panic mode imagining all sorts of scenarios.

"Denise and Josh were in the car. Olivia and Zoe are absolutely fine they had already left in the second SUV, but Josh and Denise have been hurt".

I go cold, "How badly are Denise and Josh hurt? Are you ok?" I ask.

Raul speaks, "I'm fine a few cuts but nothing serious but Josh is in a bad way sir. I think you need to call his family. Denise is hurt, she was unconscious she got a bump on the head and from what I saw it appears her leg could be broken, but honestly, I don't think Josh is going to make it as he got the full impact and he used his body to shield Denise and the baby" Raul says.

I close my eyes, "What about the baby?" I ask.

"I don't know sir, they won't tell me anything because I am not next of kin which I will admit is worrying me, but what I am going on is from what I saw at the time, so you need to come to the hospital sir and as I say you need to call Ryan Landon and inform him about Josh" he says.

"I'm on my way to the hospital now" I say.

"I've sent Dan to fetch you sir, he should be waiting for you outside the Crossfire" Raul says.

I hang up and pushing my phone into my pocket I run from my office, "Scott cancel my meetings - cancel everything, I have to go" I say as I rush past him.

I hear him say yes sir as I leave.

I impatiently make my way down in the elevator barging my way out as soon as the doors open and sprint out of the Crossfire attracting attention as I nearly send two men flying in my haste, I see the Bentley idling at the kerb and I wrench the door open and dive in.

"Do you have any information?" I demand.

Dan shakes his head, "No sir, Raul just told me to get here to fetch you and that was all" I watch impatiently as Dan drives us to the hospital. The traffic is quite bad and I am cursing under my breath for us to move faster. Eventually we arrive and Raul is waiting as I leap out, he looks a complete mess, he has a bandage on his head, and his arm is in a sling. He has numerous cuts and he has bruises forming on his face.

"Shit, are you ok?" I ask.

"I'm fine honestly, come on inside" he says as he leads me inside. It suddenly occurs to me I haven't yet called Landon; I pull my phone out and make the call.

"Landon" comes the curt greeting.

"Landon, Cross here, get your ass to Mount Sinai, Josh and Denise have been in a car accident and it's bad" I say.

"What!?" he exclaims, "Thank you, I'm on my way" he says and the line goes dead. I push my phone into my pocket thankful for the brevity of the conversation.

Raul escorts me to the desk and I am informed the doctor will be with me shortly, they don't say anything about Josh, telling me I am not next of kin. Raul shrugs and looks at me as if to say, see what I mean.

I take a seat in the waiting room and a short while later the door bursts open and Landon enters.

"What the hell happened?" he shouts.

"Calm the fuck down" I snap.

"My son is fighting for his life I will not calm the fuck down" Landon spits.

I turn helplessly to Raul, who immediately stands and retells the story "I'm so sorry sir, we were leaving the school and a car hit us, came straight at us and rammed into the side of the car, there was not a chance to avoid it I'm sorry if there were I would have done it" Raul says.

Landon calms slightly. "I don't blame you; I'm just concerned about my son, what happened to the driver of the other car?" Landon asks, I turn my head and look at Raul it hadn't occurred me to even think let alone ask about the other driver.

"Dead sir, he was pronounced dead at the scene… and he is also known to us" Raul says I stiffen at his tone and wait for him to speak but my gut tells me who it is before he even speaks.

"It was Mike Foster sir, he has been making a nuisance of himself for a while approaching while staying at a distance so not to violate the restraining order and he has been making numerous threats, about making Denise pay for taking Josh away from him. We have been tailing him for a while and I had just got a message from his USO that he was heading towards the school in a car, and the USO was following. I got it as we were pulling away and assumed we would miss him then moments later he hit us".

Raul stops choosing his words carefully, "He hit the side of the car with force where Josh was sitting and Josh saw what was happening and in that split second he moved and covered Denise with his body to protect her and the baby, and he got the brunt of the impact" he stops and I see Landon taking all this in.

"USO?" he asks looking at Raul in confusion.

"Undercover Surveillance Officer sir" Raul says to Landon.

He nods in understanding, "How are Denise and the baby?" he asks quietly, looking at me.

I shake my head, "I don't know and it's killing me not knowing. I am waiting for the doctor to see me, I have no idea what is happening".

Landon sits down with a thud, "I haven't spoken to my son since that night Denise came to confront me, I don't know what I will do if..." he says.

"Don't think like that" I snap.

We sit in silence when the door opens and a doctor walks in I stand up and so does Landon.

"Denise Cross, I'm her father" I say.

"Joshua Landon, I'm his father" Landon says.

The doctor nods, "Joshua is still in surgery and his doctor will be with you as soon as possible" the doctor says sympathetically.

He turns to me. "Mr Cross, your daughter has sustained a contusion to the head and numerous superficial cuts and bruises, she has also suffered a fracture of her left tibia which isn't serious and the leg has been splinted in a plaster cast we are confident she will make a full recovery, as for the head injury tests have shown it appears to be superficial and there isn't any indication of brain swelling and all her vitals are good. She is still unconscious at present but there is no reason why she shouldn't make a full recovery, she is a very lucky young lady" he says.

I nod, "What about the baby?" I ask holding my breath.

"The baby is unharmed, your daughter is being monitored closely in case she goes into premature labour which is always a risk after any trauma but at present there are no indications that this will happen, as I say she was incredibly lucky".

I sag with relief, "Thank you doctor" I say, "may I see her?" I ask.

The doctor nods and tells me where to go. I stand and pressing my hand to Landon's shoulder as I pass him I leave the room and Raul follows me.

I am sitting beside Denise she is so still, her head is bruised and she has a nasty cut on her forehead which has been neatly stitched and her leg is in a plaster cast. I hold her hand and kiss it.

"Denise come on sweetheart open your eyes for me" I say.

There is no response, I feel my cell phone buzzing and I reach for it. I see it is Olivia calling me.

"Hello" I say quietly as I answer.

"Dad something has happened, Josh and Denise are not home yet, Andy and Davis are whispering in the kitchen and Paul arrived looking stressed and he won't say anything, why is he here dad and not with Dennie? What's happened, will you find out?" she says, I can hear she is getting close to becoming hysterically worried.

"Olivia listen to me, calm down sweetheart and just listen, I need you to be really strong and I need you to take care of Zoe for me" I say.

"Ok" she says.

"Right, I want you to listen carefully and try not to get upset" I say calmly, I pause and then continue, "Denise, Josh and Raul were driving home and they were hit by another car. I'm at the hospital now with Denise, she is sleeping but I am going to stay with her until she wakes up, so I need you to take care of Zoe for me" I say.

"Is the baby alright?" She asks.

"Yes he is" I say.

"What about Josh?" She asks.

I cringe, "I don't know Liv, he is in surgery at the moment. I called his dad and he is here too waiting to find out, but we just don't know at the moment" I say.

"Ok, is Raul ok?" she asks next.

"He is, he's a bit cut up and has a few bruises but he's fine" I say.

"Alright, can I come and see Dennie?" she asks.

"No, not tonight, as I say she is sleeping at the moment and I need you at home to take care of Zoe, I'll call your grandfather and ask him to sit with you too alright?" I say.

"Ok dad… when Dennie wakes up tell her I love her" Liv says.

"Of course I will" I say and after reassuring her some more I hang up. I pause a moment and then call my dad.

"Hello Gideon, how are you son?" the warm greeting is nearly my undoing. I rub my eyes and speak my voice hoarse.

"Dad," I say and stop as my voice quivers.

"What's wrong son?" he asks immediately.

"Its Denise, she's in the hospital and I'm here with her now" I say my voice breaking as I say it.

"Shit, is it the baby?" he asks.

"No, there was a car accident, a car ploughed into them. She is unconscious but the baby is alive and at the moment ok. Denise has a broken leg and a contusion to her head but they said there is no brain swelling or anything but Josh is still in surgery and he took the brunt of it… we don't think he'll make it, it's bad dad. I called Landon and he is waiting for information on Josh and I'm with Denise, but she is unconscious dad and she won't wake up" I stop and try and pull myself together.

"I'm on my way son; I'll be with you as quickly as I can. Which hospital are you at?" he asks.

"No dad, I'm fine can you go and sit with Liv and Zoe, I'm staying with Denise so I need you at the Penthouse. Liv knows, she called me but as far as I know Zoe doesn't know unless Liv tells her" I say.

"Alright, I'll head over there now" he says.

"Thank you dad" I say. We talk a few moments longer and then he hangs up. About two minutes later my phone rings and I see Christopher's name on the screen.

"Bro how is she?" he asks as I answer.

"Unconscious" I reply.

"Shit, what do you need me to do?" he asks.

I sigh, "Nothing at present, unless dad needs your help at the penthouse, he is heading there now to be with Liv and Zoe" I say.

"I'll go over there now then and help him out, keep me informed" he says firmly and with that he is gone. I hang up and almost immediately my phone rings again, and it's Ireland.

"Gideon, are you ok? Dad called me and told me about Denise, how is she?" she gabbles.

I quickly reiterate that Denise is unconscious but apart from that all is well, and I tell her I am staying with her. She offers to head over to the Penthouse and sit with Liv and Zoe and I tell her dad and Christopher are on their way there now and she says she will go there too. I hang up and reach for Denise once more.

"Daddy's here sweetheart, are you going to wake up and talk to me?" I ask, there is no response so I just sit and I talk to her, telling her how she needs to wake up, I tell her about my day at work how I have bought a new golf course and I ask her how I should improve it. I tell her the baby needs her to wake up and that Josh is in surgery and he will want to know she is ok when he comes out, I ramble on and on talking about anything and everything just waiting for some kind of response from her.

I have no idea how long I am there when the door opens and Raul enters looking grim, I look up at him.

"What are you doing here still?" I ask him.

"I'm going now, I wanted to wait and find out what happened to Josh before I went" he says.

"Is he out of surgery, is he ok?" I ask.

Raul shakes his head sadly, "He didn't make it, they did their best but he had internal injuries and it was just too bad" he says his voice is breaking with the emotion and he presses his fingers into his eyes.

I stand and I embrace him, I have never done this before and I will probably never do it again, but at this moment it just feels like the right thing to do.

"Get off home and get some rest" I say.

Raul nods and turns to leave. "I have a team stationed around the hospital the press have got wind of this and it's like a feeding frenzy, but I've got my best men on it" he says.

I shake my head, "Fucking parasites" I mutter.

"How's Landon?" I ask.

Raul shakes his head, "Devastated, his wife and daughters have arrived and he had to be sedated, he was screaming and ranting. He lost it completely and you should know that he started making threats towards you and Denise" he says shaking his head.

"Alright, go home Raul" I say he nods and leaves. I sit down with a thud and stare at my unconscious daughter, how the hell do I break this to her, she loved that boy so much. I have never felt so alone in my entire life and considering the solitary life I lead for so many years it is incredible I think that.

I pull Denise's hand towards me, "Fuck Eva, I need you Angel" I whisper, and as I say those words, it dawns on me, I will know exactly how Denise will feel and what she is going to go through when she wakes up and finds out about Josh, because I live every day with the grief of losing the love of my life, and this actually gives me strength. My daughter is going to need me more than she has ever needed me. I glance at her stomach, that little boy will never know his father but I will make sure he has good male role models in his life, he will have my brothers and father who will dote on him and he will have me, I will support Denise in every way I possibly can to raise her son.

I sit there in the small room thinking about how I am going to tell Denise about Josh. I am just rhythmically stroking her hand in mine, I don't know how long I sit doing this for when suddenly my phone rings, I glance at the screen and quickly answer when I see it's Christian.

"Christian, how are you?" I ask trying to make my voice sound normal.

"What the fuck has happened? It's all over the fucking news, is Denise ok, what about the baby?!" he yells.

I close my eyes, "Seriously?! Shit, how the hell did it reach the West coast so quickly?" I ask.

"Because you are my brother, that link is always made and therefore any news involving you gets here in double quick time" he says.

"Have you been hassled by the media? I'm so sorry I should have called you" I say.

"We've had a few calls, we have just gone down the no comment route, as I figured you would call as soon as you could" he says.

"It's bad" I sigh.

"Shit, they are going to be ok aren't they?" he asks in panic.

"Josh was in the car at the time and… he didn't make it" I whisper.

"Fuck!" He exclaims.

"Denise is unconscious at the moment; I'm sitting with her now. She broke her leg which has been splinted in a plaster cast, and she has a head contusion but there is no brain swelling and all her vitals are good, so we are just waiting for her to come round. The baby is fine, totally unharmed thankfully but she is being monitored to make sure she doesn't go into premature labour" I stop talking as I see Denise move. "Listen bro, I think Denise is waking up, so I need to go" I say quickly.

"No problem bro, talk to you soon" he says and with that he is gone.

"Denise, Denise sweetheart can you hear me?" I ask grasping her hand once more.

Slowly her eyes flicker open and she looks around in confusion, the relief that flows through me is enormous and I reach over to her and gently pull her into my arms.

"Daddy?" she croaks and her arms go around my shoulders and she clings to me.

"I'm here baby girl, I'm right here" I reassure her.

I feel her pull away from me and I watch her carefully, I can tell she is remembering the events from earlier and her hand immediately goes to her belly and I see a flash of relief on her face. She looks at me and her lip begins to quiver.

"A car... we were hit by another car, it all happened so quickly, there was this massive bang as it hit us, Josh saw it coming and he moved to protect me from the impact… Josh? Where is he? I need to see him, is he ok?" she asks trying to get up and she stares at her leg.

"Sit still Denise, you broke your leg you can't move, not yet" I say carefully.

"But I need to see Josh" she insists.

I close my eyes. I know I have to tell her, fuck this is so hard. I shake my head, and when I open my eyes she is staring at me.

"What aren't you telling me?" she whispers.

I sit on the bed beside her and pull her into my arms and hold her tightly.

"Daddy, you're scaring me" she whispers.

"Denise… sweetheart, I'm afraid Josh didn't make it. They tried hard to save him but he died earlier" I say quietly.

I feel her go rigid, then she pushes me away and she is shaking her head "No" she says eventually.

I nod, "I'm so sorry" I say and I try and reach for her again but she slaps my hand away.

"No, you're lying. Tell me you're lying" she screams. Tears are falling now and I reach for her again and grip her tightly to me, she struggles and tries to push me off but I just increase my grip on her.

"Calm down, I've got you" I whisper to her as she struggles to free herself from my grasp.

Suddenly she relaxes and slumps into my arms and starts to weep almost hysterically. I rock her and do my best to try and console her, but I know at this moment she is inconsolable. I know she is grief stricken, heartbroken, empty and lost, and I know exactly how she feels.

I sit holding Denise as she weeps in my arms. I have no idea how long we just sit there, me holding her and rocking her like I did when she was a little girl and upset about something. Eventually she eases away from me and stares up at me. I immediately recognise the look in her eyes, I have seen it in my own every day since Eva died, and it breaks my heart to see my daughter going through such immense pain.

"Is he really gone?" she asks in a small voice.

I nod, "I'm so sorry sweetheart" I say lamely.

She looks at me carefully and then nods at me. I watch as she takes a deep breath and then straightens her back and squares her shoulders. She hasn't said a word and I just watch her and wait for her to say something then she reaches down and touches her bump.

"I have to be strong for this little guy. I can't give up, and believe me at this moment I really want to give up but I have to stay strong for him" she says.

I stare at her and I recall how I totally fell apart and didn't consider anyone else after Eva died, and it fills me with shame that my young daughter is far, far stronger than I ever was.

"Does Josh's family know?" she asks suddenly.

I nod at her, "Yes, but don't worry about them. Focus on you and getting well. When Raul called me I phoned Josh's dad and he came straight to the hospital, I believe all Josh's family are here somewhere now" I say.

"I remember the last thing Josh said to me as the car hit us" She says quietly. She shuffles closer and leans against me, I pull her close and she rests her head on my chest and grips my shirt in her hand.

"Do you?" I ask.

I feel her nod her head, "He said I love you Dennie, and then he looked out the window and he suddenly took his seatbelt off and threw himself over me and he said stay still and then there was this massive crash. It made me hit my head and then I got this huge pain in my leg. I felt dizzy and my head hurt and I heard Josh speak again he said 'it will be ok, take care of our son, I love you', and then he went heavy on me and then the next thing I knew was a few moments ago when I woke up" she stops speaking and I just hold her.

"Is Raul ok?" she asks suddenly.

"He is" I say, "he got a few cuts and bruises but he will be fine, he went home a while ago" I say.

"Ok that's good" she says, "Paul went in the other car so I know he is ok" she adds absently.

"I should go and inform them at the nurse's station that you have woken up" I say as I go to stand up.

She shakes her head and clings to my shirt. "Please daddy don't leave me" she pleads, I nod and sitting down again I reach for the call button instead.

Moments later a nurse appears and smiles kindly. "Hello Denise, welcome back to us, how are you feeling?" she asks.

"My head hurts and so does my leg" she says.

"Well that is to be expected. Now you have woken up I'll page your doctor and he can come and see you" she says.

She leaves but returns a few moments later with a jug of water and a glass, "Here, try and drink this, but don't drink it too fast though" she says. I reach for the glass and place it in Denise's hand.

"Thank you daddy" she whispers, her hands are shaking as she lift the glass to her mouth so I also hold it and steady it for her as she take small sips.

"I should call your grandfather, he is at home with your sisters" I say.

She nods and moves slightly so I can reach for my phone. First I quickly send a text to Christian;

_**Denise awake sore but ok, talk soon G**_.

I then phone my father, "Dad" I say as he answers.

"Gideon how is she?" my father says anxiously.

"She's awake, and she's as good as can be expected at the moment" I say.

"Oh thank god, and the baby?" he asks.

"The baby is fine" I say, "Look dad if you could tell Liv for me, although I told her she was sleeping if you just tell her that she is going to be ok as she was really worried and it will put her mind at rest, I have to go now" I say.

"Of course I will, give Denise our love. Christopher and Ireland are both here and they will be pleased to hear she is ok, and they send their love too" he says.

"Thanks dad" I say and I hang up. I turn to Denise remembering my conversation with Liv from earlier.

"By the way Olivia rang me earlier and she said to tell you that she loves you when you woke up - I told her you were asleep" I say "Your grandfather, Uncle Christopher and Aunt Ireland all send their love" I say I feel my phone buzz and I read the text from Christian.

_**Fantastic news- give her our love, C**_

"And so does your Uncle Christian" I add holding my phone up at her. I watch a small weak smile cross her lips as she continues to sip her water.

The door opens and her doctor appears, he looks tired but he smiles. "Denise, good to have you back with us" he says.

He sits on the bed and does some tests, I watch him as he examines her and tells her he has paged Dr Henderson to come and examine her as well to check on the baby and that she should be here shortly.

He has hardly got the words out of his mouth when Dr Henderson arrives with a nurse wheeling a portable ultrasound machine. I see tears appear in Denise's eyes as she sees it and I know she is remembering the previous examinations where Josh was by her side. I walk towards her and reach for her hand. The desolate look on her face is killing me and I would give anything to take it away.

When the two doctors leave, Denise is given a clean bill of health, and we are also informed that the baby is absolutely fine. We are also told she is to be kept in overnight just for observation and then hopefully after a final check in the morning she will be discharged.

"Do you want me to stay?" I ask.

I watch her think for a moment, "I do, but..." she stops.

I squeeze her hand, "Denise if you want me to stay then I will stay" I say firmly.

She looks around the room and then at me, "But there is nowhere for you to sleep, you will be so uncomfortable if you try and sleep in that chair and you will be hurting as bad as me by morning" she says.

"I'll be fine, don't worry about me" I say.

There is a knock at the door and I look at Denise before I go to open it, we are not expecting any more medical examinations. I open the door and standing there is a young woman with red puffy eyes and a blotchy face I stare at her and she stares right back at me.

"Erm... Hello Mr Cross I was looking for Denise I wanted to check to see if she was alright. I'm Josh's twin sister, Jodie" she says.

I smile at her, "Hello Jodie I'm pleased to meet you" I say. I turn and Denise is looking to try and see who is here.

"Denise, Jodie, Josh's sister is here to see you" I say, I see brief panic on Denise's face and she shakes her head, it's an initial knee jerk reaction as a moment later I see that resolve once more and she touches her stomach and then slowly nods. I step to the side and gesture for Jodie to enter.

"Thank you" she says and walks in she stops and stares at Denise. The two young women look at each other and then they both burst into tears and Jodie rushes towards Denise and hugs her tightly.

"I'll give you two a moment" I say and I go to step outside.

"No daddy, don't go" Denise says immediately.

"Are you sure?" I ask a little uncomfortable at what I am witnessing.

"Yes please stay" she begs.

I nod and walk back and sit down beside her. I look at the young girl sitting beside us. She resembles Josh significantly and she is clearly grieving the loss of her brother and hurting badly at this moment.

"I'm sorry for your loss. How are your family?" I ask her politely.

Jodie shakes her head, "Dad lost it completely, he had to be sedated and he is sleeping at the moment. Mom and my sister are with him" she says. She takes a deep breath, "That's why I'm here, he is so sorry Denise and I'm sure he wants to make amends but he doesn't know how, if he offers an olive branch would you please listen to him?" she asks.

I feel myself getting angry, she is here to pave the way for fucking Landon. Over my dead body; Denise feels my tension and reaches for me.

"I'll speak to him" she says, Shit I wasn't expecting that reaction. I stare at her but she ignores me completely as she speaks to Jodie.

"If he approaches me with a sincere apology I will hear him out, but that is all I can promise at the moment" she says.

This appears to be enough for Jodie who smiles and thanks her profusely. I observe the two girls talking, both grieving for Josh. Jodie grieving for her lost brother and Denise for the man she loved suddenly Jodie stops and turns to me.

"I'm sorry for this stupid feud that my dad has been perpetuating all these years. Hopefully this will make him realise life is too short to indulge in such a pointless waste of time and energy. Mom has tried to tell him for years that you weren't to blame for whatever Geoffrey Cross did to granddad but he just wouldn't listen" she pauses and turns to Denise.

"But when you confronted him and Josh disowned him, I think it made him stop and realise what he was doing, he has been trying to make contact with you, Denise for a while but Josh kept blocking him and he wouldn't let him near you" she stops and Denise gasps.

"I had no idea, I know Josh was getting calls from his dad but he refused to take them. I tried to get him to talk to Mr Landon at Thanksgiving and Christmas but he wouldn't" she says.

"I know" Jodie says, "We all know you tried to get him to speak to dad, he told us and we told dad too. Dad knows he was totally to blame for the way their relationship ended up, and I think that is why he is such a mess now, it's the guilt" she says and shakes her head. "Anyway I should be getting back, thank you for seeing me. You are a good person Denise and you don't deserve what has happened to you, I hope you get well soon" she says.

"Thank you" Denise replies, they hug once more and then Jodie turns to me her hand outstretched.

"It was nice to finally meet you Mr Cross, mom speaks very highly of you even if dad doesn't, it's just shame it was under these circumstances, goodbye Mr Cross" she says politely to me.

I accept the hand shake, "Likewise, Goodbye Jodie" I say.

After Jodie leaves Denise looks at me, a look of embarrassment on her face.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"What Jodie said, about her mom speaking highly of you… that was my parting shot at Landon when I confronted him. I had no idea it could actually be true, it was just a cheap shot to kick him while he was down but it appears I could have hit the nail on the head" she says.

"I don't understand" I say.

Denise sighs, and shuffles uncomfortably, "I may have accused Josh's mom of having a thing about you, and I said that was the real reason why he was so eaten up with a need for revenge, if I recall it went along the lines of he was jealous because you were a better lay for his wife than he was, and you had her first and his male ego couldn't take it, as I say it was a cheap shot but it hit the mark, and now it looks like it was a true one" she says with a shrug.

As I listen to her, I recall the recording I listened to of that night and a vague recollection comes to me, I am embarrassed but also startled by my daughter's perception. She had noticed Janice's reaction to me. I had brushed it off at the time saying we had history but my daughter had seen the truth all along. Janice was a menace for months after our one night stand, calling and wanting more, and for years she had mooned over me like some lovesick puppy. I thought when she had married Landon she had found someone else and got me out of her system. My attention is brought back to my daughter as she grasps my arm.

"Dad, I need to pee" she mutters.

I can't help but smile, "well that's different! It's been a while since I helped you go to the toilet!" I say. This produces a reluctant smile, I press the call button and then reach for her and lift her into my arms.

"Come on" I say as I lift her from the bed and stride towards the bathroom. As I am doing this a nurse appears, and stares in shock at the scene in front of her.

"My daughter needs the bathroom" I explain as I am striding towards the door.

The nurse nods and quickly follows, "We could have got you a bedpan or something" she says.

Denise glares at her, "No way, if I'm going pee I'm doing it in the bathroom on the damn toilet!" she states firmly and I stifle a grin, that's my girl!

I leave as the nurse assists Denise and then when she is done and decent again I go back into the bathroom and carry her back to bed.

As she settles in the bed she grins at me, "That was entertaining" she mutters, "wait till I tell..." she stops and I know she was going to say wait till I tell Josh, I see the tears and I am immediately beside her and holding her once more.

"I forgot daddy, I forgot for a moment that he was gone… I thought he was going to come back" she says.

"I know" I say. I calm her down and settle her, then pulling out my phone I call my father to bring me a change of clothes and some toiletries. When I have done that I glance at Denise and see she has gone to sleep. I slip from the room and arrange for a cot to be sent in for me to sleep on although I doubt I will be getting much sleep tonight.

A cot is sent in along with portable screen to give us both some privacy, I have to admit I feel a little uncomfortable sharing a room with my daughter, but she needs to know I am here so I have to put my own discomfort aside. Behind the screen I quickly change into a pair of sweats and a t shirt, which my father sent and I listen carefully and I can hear her even breathing and I know she is sleeping peacefully. I push my clothes into the duffel bag and after brushing my teeth in the bathroom I settle myself down on the uncomfortable cot and close my eyes.

"JOSH, JOSH, PLEASE NO JOSH!"

I am awakened by my daughter's pitiful scream, I reach out and pull the screen aside and see her thrashing about a sheen of perspiration covering her and her arms are flailing she is asleep and having a nightmare, this upsets me more than I could ever articulate and takes me back to the nights I was tortured by nightmares. I leap from the cot and make my way to her, I sit down beside her and try to contain her so she doesn't hurt herself.

"Denise wake up" I say sharply. She stills for a moment.

"Josh?" she asks hopefully.

"No sweetheart, not Josh. Wake up you're dreaming" I say.

I shake her gently and she opens her eyes for a moment she looks disorientated and then I see her remembering and she reaches for me.

"I had a bad dream" she whispers through the sobs.

"I know you did, I know but it's all over now, it was just a dream" I say soothingly.

She sighs and what she says next destroys me, "Yeah it was just a dream the trouble is reality is a bigger nightmare now he has gone" I tighten my grip on her, knowing exactly what she means.

We manage to get some sleep, the night is punctuated by another nightmare and I sit and hold her until she calms. When she wakes up the next morning I am already up, showered and dressed taking the opportunity to quickly do so while she slept. She looks pale and subdued; I sit beside her and run my fingers through her hair pushing it back from her face.

"I'm sorry about last night dad, I kept waking you up with my dreams" she says.

"Don't worry about that, that's what I'm here for" I say soothingly.

She leans against me, "I'm glad you are" she says. She pauses, then asks me a question, "Dad?" she asks uncertainly.

"Yes" I reply.

"Will it always hurt this bad? Will it always feel so helpless as though I just don't want to go on, I miss him so much dad, does that ever go, does it ever get bearable?" she asks.

I know the answer to that, in my case it is no, it doesn't but I don't want to tell her that, I think carefully before I answer her.

"I can't answer that Denise because grief is different for different people" I begin, "everyone handles loss of a loved one differently and gets over things differently. For me I don't think I will never get over the loss of your mother, she was the love of my life. She was my soul mate, and yes even now nearly five years later I still miss her terribly and it still hurts. I feel that loss deep inside me but now I try and just remember the good times we had, all the happy memories we made, and that helps to ease the pain I feel, but for you it's still raw and new it will take you a while to reach that point but you are strong Denise you will get through it" I say.

She nods, "Thank you, I have to be strong as I have our son to think about" she says.

I smile, "That is what made life better for me, it helped so much having you and your sisters, because I needed to be there for you… even though I did a piss poor job of it for a number of years. Also, having you three there is comforting, as there is a part of Eva in all of you and through you three she lives on" I stop and she looks up at me her eyes shining with tears.

"I never thought of it like that, a part of Josh will always live on in this little guy" she says touching her bump and I see her smile. "Thanks dad" she says.

I kiss her forehead, "You're welcome sweetheart" I reply.

There is a knock at the door and as it opens a huge arrangement of flowers appears, Denise giggles as she sees it as the person carrying it is totally obscured and it looks like the flower arrangement has legs and I am relieved to hear her amusement.

"Hi Paul" she says grinning at her CPO as he sets down the flowers and comes into view.

"Hello, how are you?" he asks.

"Ok" she replies, "Who are they from?" she asks.

"Hang on a mo, there are some more" he says and disappears out of the room, three trips later the room is filled with 5 arrangements of flowers" We stare at them and I read the attached cards.

I point at the enormous one which was brought in first, "This one is from..."

"Uncle Christian?" Denise interrupts and I stare at her in surprise.

"Yes how did you know?" I say.

She laughs, and holds out her hand to gesture towards it "Come on dad just look at it!" she says "It's the biggest most elaborate arrangement I've ever seen in my life, of course it was going to be from Uncle Christian!" she adds, I smile she has a point my brother never does anything by half.

"Ok if you are so clever what about these?" I point to the second arrangement, Denise shakes her head.

"I don't know I just had a feeling about that one" she says.

"Ok, I point to the second one, "This is from Grandma Grace and Carrick" I say, move on to the next one. "This one is from my father, this one is from Uncle Christopher and this one is from Aunty Ireland and Gareth" I stop as there is another knock at the door, and as it opens another enormous arrangement come into view.

"Raul! How are you?" Denise exclaims as she sees my Head of Security.

"I'm fine, but more importantly how are you?" he asks.

"Ok" she replies. She is staring at his bruised face, he isn't wearing the sling today and I wonder if that is so Denise won't worry. He sets the flowers down and then steps out and brings in another one. I immediately look at the cards on them.

"These are from Josh's family" I say quietly and then I turn to the first one Raul had delivered, it is an arrangement which even out shadows my brothers and I wonder who it could possibly be from it is absolutely stunning and as I read the card I look up and I stare at Raul in surprise.

"These are from all the guys in my security team" I say, I am moved that they did this for my daughter.

Raul shrugs, "Not everyone" he qualifies "Only all the guys who were on duty last night and know about what happened, they got together and organised a whip round and everyone who was on duty here and who knew about the accident contributed to get them and I drew the short straw to fetch them this morning" he says with a grin, teasing her.

"Thank you Raul, will you thank everyone for me" Denise says and reaches for him, he leans down as she hugs him tightly.

"I will and it was our pleasure" he says.

I pull off all the cards and hand them to Denise so she can read them and Raul and Paul leave us alone.

"I didn't expect that" Denise says as she goes through the cards.

I look at her, "What?" I ask.

"From Josh's family" she says quietly.

I nod, "No if I am honest neither did I" I say. I wonder who was responsible for it and I assume it was Jodie who had made the gesture after all she came to visit, or possibly Janice. A cynical part of me wonders if it is all part of her plan to try and get Denise open to meeting Josh's father.

Raul comes back a few moments later with some breakfast for us and I am pleased to note that Denise tucks in hungrily.

After breakfast we sit talking for a while, I call the office and inform Scott to cancel everything for today and I tell him what has happened, he tells me he will handle everything and I am confident he will. He brings me up to speed on things which need my attention and I quickly delegate the majority of the tasks requiring my attention to various members of my team, the things which need my attention I ask Scott to email to me and I will deal with them at some point. I tell him I will keep him informed of when I plan to come back to the office and then hang up.

Suddenly Denise asks a question.

"I need a shower, but how am I supposed to do that with this?" she asks staring at the cast on her leg; I smile and press the button for a nurse.

When one appears Denise asks her the same question and she leaves the room only to return a few moments later with a wheelchair and a waterproof covering to put over the cast, she wheels Denise into the shower area and closes the door. I wait in the bedroom and listen to the conversation going on between the nurse and Denise.

I hear Denise telling the nurse about the pregnancy and how she is expecting a boy, the nurse asks her if she has any names chosen yet and the sadness in Denise's voice is evident as she answers.

"Josh and I had started discussing names, we couldn't agree there was only one name we both liked but that wasn't a favourite for either of us" she says.

"What was that?" the nurse asks.

"Alexander" Denise replies.

"Oh that's a nice name" the nurse says.

"Not the right one though" Denise says firmly and I smile. "It's down to just me now to pick our son's name" she adds sadly.

"I'm sure whatever you end up picking will be lovely" the nurse says kindly.

Eventually Denise comes out and she smiles at me.

"I feel better now" she says.

"Good" I reply.

The nurse informs us that the doctor should be with us shortly, as she leaves I quickly decide to use the bathroom before he comes.

My phone buzzes, I glance at the screen, it's from Raul.

_**Ryan Landon here now, wants to speak to Denise, please advise?**_

Before I can answer I hear raised voices and I quickly wash up and head out. I see Landon wild eyed and dishevelled with Raul trying admirably to pull him from the room, he is still in obvious pain and at a disadvantage.

"What the fuck are you doing Landon?" I bark.

Denise looks terrified she stares at him wide eyed and then looks towards me for reassurance. Seconds later Paul arrives with two other members of my team and Landon stares at them in disgust.

"Call off your pit bulls Cross I need to talk to Denise" he says.

I pause and then nod at Raul who releases Landon, my men melt away, and I stare at Landon. "You have one fucking minute" I say.

"I want to talk to her alone" he says, I immediately shake my head.

"No way" I say.

Denise also shakes her head, "No, Mr Landon what you want to say can be said in front of my dad or not at all" she says.

He stares at her and I see the hatred in his eyes, it's clear he doesn't want to make amends he is clearly unstable at the moment. I pull out my phone and text Raul to remain outside the door, he replies telling me that they all are and I smile.

"Time's ticking Landon" I say coolly.

"Fuck off Cross" he snaps, he turns to Denise and leans over her "You will allow me access to my grandchild, my son is dead because of you and so help me god if you refuse me I will drag you through every court in the land and I swear I will get what's mine" he rants, Denise glances at me, she has gone deathly pale.

"Enough! Get the fuck out, now!" I say and pulling him away I shout for Raul, "Get this piece of shit out of here" I snap trying to hold on to my self control.

As Landon is manhandled from the room I return my attention to Denise who looks shaken. "He can't?" she stammers.

I crouch in front of her shaking my head, gripping her shaking hands I make her look at me, "Look at me Denise. No he can't, you and Josh weren't married so there is nothing he can do, he has no rights to your child, and do you think I would stand by and allow that near my grandchild?" I say.

Denise relaxes and nods "thank you daddy" she says. Then she looks sad, "He is the baby's grandfather too" she mutters.

I shake my head, "Not if he continues to behave like that he isn't" I say sharply. "He won't hurt you or your baby" I say firmly, "I promise you" I add for good measure.

The doctor comes to see Denise and thankfully she is discharged. I want to get her out of here as soon as possible after fucking Landon's party piece earlier. I know it has shaken her. What he said to her and how he was behaving and it was unacceptable. I try and give the man a break, I mean he has just lost his son but that doesn't give him the excuse to behave like a crazy asshole.

As we are leaving the hospital I see the Landon family, I see Janice gesticulating wildly and I'm sure she is telling him that he is an asshole, well I hope she was anyway and I also see Jodie pointing and waving her hands about. She is shouting and I hear what she says, in fact I think everyone in the vicinity can hear what she says.

'"For god's sake dad she was prepared to talk to you and listen to you and you did that, you are unbelievable, you do realise you have now blown any chance you had to see the baby when he is born, she won't let you anywhere near him now and if I am honest I don't blame her!"

Denise goes rigid as she hears and sees them. I am pushing her in a wheelchair and Paul is beside us with some crutches. Raul is on my other side and he is watching the Landon's carefully. I place my hand on her shoulder and gently squeeze hoping I am offering her a little reassurance. I am also hoping we manage to get out before they see us but just as we reach the door they turn and Jodie comes running over.

"Denise, I am so sorry about what my dad said to you but he's not himself at the moment, he didn't mean it" she says, "Mom has read him the riot act for his behaviour and so have I" she adds.

Denise shakes her head, "I don't care. That man is coming nowhere near me or my baby. Tell him from me if he plans to take me through the courts, bring it on and I will tell them how he planned to try and take my baby from me how he planned to use an innocent child to get revenge for a grudge he has held for years which I was no part of and how less than 24 hours after having a serious car accident he threatened me and my baby. I don't think they would look too kindly on that do you? By the way you can also just remind him he has no rights whatsoever, whatever he may think as Josh and I weren't married. So he has no say at all. He has no rights with regard to my son and if he continues with the way he is behaving I will make sure he never has any contact with my son" she stops and I smile proudly, feisty Denise is back and good to see.

Jodie nods sadly, "I'm sorry you feel like that, and believe me I do understand why you do. I just hope you can find it in your heart to forgive him" she says sadly and returns to her family.

As we reach the car I help Denise to her feet and as she is manoeuvring into it I hear Landon's voice, he tries to approach us and I see several of my security team appear from nowhere and prevent him getting closer. I see Raul filming the situation on his phone.

"You don't get to call the shots here girl, do you know who you are dealing with I will take that baby from you, you mark my words!" he screams.

I turn to Raul who is messing with his phone, "Did you get all that?" I whisper to him.

"Oh yes, and the fact Denise didn't say a word to him and he was confrontational and threatening proves he is unstable but I think we have enough to serve him with a restraining order" he says with a grin.

He puts his hand on my shoulder, "plus don't forget we have the audio from Denise's earlier confrontation with him so if he thinks he is going through the courts, well bring it on he doesn't have a leg to stand on!" Raul says confidently.

I glance at Denise who is trembling and crying quietly in the car I shake my head, "She doesn't need this" I say to Raul.

He looks at her and I see a determined look on his face, "Don't worry sir consider it sorted" he says firmly.

I look at Raul and a thought occurs to me, "I just worry about the funeral, she is going to insist on going and if he is still this unstable, I can't forbid her but I don't want her to go and walk into a situation" I say.

Raul smiles at me, "We will handle that when the time comes, she needs to go though. You do realise that don't you? She needs to go to say goodbye but she will also go with full protection" he says confidently.

"Thank you" I reply and I climb into the car beside my daughter and offer her what little comfort I can.


	21. Chapter 21

CHAPTER 21

**(DENISE)**

We are back home again, and I am in my room in bed resting at my dad's insistence. My father has called the school and I have been emailed assignments to do which I am just looking through now, to stop me going totally crazy, it all looks pretty straight forward stuff and I quickly get it done and email it back, with a message asking for more, I am glad for the distraction if I am honest I need to focus on something to stop me thinking about Josh, or more specifically the fact that Josh is dead.

The pain I feel, the sense of loss and devastation overwhelms me when I think about it, now I know how my dad has felt since mom died and it isn't nice, and I now have some idea why he fell apart like he did, because if I am honest a big part of me wants to do the same thing. Dad has been awesome, I have no idea what I would have done if he hadn't been there last night, he was unbelievable he just knew what to do, just holding me and being there for me… I realise that he knew exactly what to do because he knew exactly how I was feeling, he knew just how destroyed I am feeling. I think to when I had woken with those nightmares, I feel so bad about waking him; it was bad enough I made him stay with me in that pokey room on an uncomfortable cot but I just didn't want to be alone. I know I am keeping him from his work today as well, I heard him talking to Scott this morning and rearranging stuff.

I think about Mr Landon, he was crazy today. I know grief can make you do crazy things, when dad told me Josh was dead I just wanted to die myself there and then, but that isn't an option as I have our son to consider. I remember the last moments I had with Josh, he asked me to take care of our son and he gave his life protecting us, I remember his words from a while ago when he said he would protect us until his last breath and he did just that, so I owe it to him now to be strong and fulfil his last request, it's the least I can do.

My mind keeps replaying things over and over I keep thinking the same things over and over again until I start to feel tired. My head still hurts a little, it's a dull ache nothing too bad just annoying really and so I settle down for a nap, and try and shut off my mind for a while and soon I feel myself drift off to sleep.

_The sun is high in the sky and its warm the birds are singing and I am walking along the beach, I look around and I realise that I'm in Seattle, on Uncle Christian's beach. I am walking along the shoreline of the sound and it is so peaceful and quiet. I hear a shout and I turn._

_"__Mommy!" I look and I see a small boy running towards me, I smile and crouching I hold open my arms as he reaches me a man appears from nowhere and grabs him._

_"__I told you I would take him from you!" he laughs, I scream._

_"__NO GIVE ME BACK MY SON!" I scream, the background shimmers and I am in a car, a wreck of a car, and Josh's broken dead body is slumped on me. I try and escape but I can't and I can't breathe, I need to get out, I look up and see Mike standing at the window laughing and pointing, and then he turns into Mr Landon, and he is screaming at me that it's my fault… I need to get out, "LET ME OUT" I yell._

_"__Denise I've got you, I've got you" I hear my father's voice and I look wildly around the smashed and battered car._

_"__Daddy, where are you? I can't see you, help me" I call._

_"__I'm here sweetheart I'm here" he calls, but I can't see him._

_Daddy…? _

I open my eyes and I realise immediately it's a dream, I'm in bed, I'm safe and my dad is here beside me, he looks concerned and that makes me feel bad.

"I'm sorry" I mutter.

"Don't be" he murmurs as he wraps his strong arms around me, I relax and feel safe.

"What was your dream about?" he asks me.

I explain it and he listens, "You need to talk this through with someone, do you want to talk to John Flynn, I can call him and arrange for you to have a few Skype sessions if you want to?" he asks carefully.

I think about it, and nod, "yes I'd like that, thank you" I say.

My dad nods and pulls out his phone and I hear him making the call to Seattle.

"John, how are you" my father says in greeting, I watch and listen to the one sided conversation.

"I'm good John thank you. I'm calling about Denise, I was wondering if you could fit her in for a few Skype sessions as she is struggling at the moment?...yes...well as you know she is pregnant" that takes me by surprise, I had no idea my dad had told John Flynn I was pregnant, but then I remember he is my dad's therapist too, and dad must still be having sessions with him.

"Well we have had quite a time as Josh, the baby's father was killed in a car accident yesterday... yes she was... no she's ok, she has a broken leg and a bump on the head but nothing too serious... no the baby is fine... well that's why I'm calling. That and the fact Josh's father seems to have lost his damn mind, as you know Josh was estranged from his father and never reconciled before the accident. This appears to have had a negative effect on Landon's mental health and he has made contact with Denise and approached her twice and on both occasions he has threatened her that he will take her baby away... yes I know... he doesn't have a leg to stand on... yes but it is obviously playing on her mind as she is having nightmares when she falls asleep... yes... twice last night and just now... I want to nip this in the bud John she doesn't need this... thank you... thank you... yes… just a moment" I watch as my dad looks at me and he holds out his phone to me.

"John wants to speak to you" he says.

I take the phone from him and put it up to my ear. "Hello" I say carefully.

"Denise" I hear the kind English lilt of John Flynn's voice.

"Hello John how are you?" I ask politely.

"I'm very well thank you Denise, but I'm more interested in hearing how you are?" he asks.

I pause, "I feel... I ..." I stop as I feel tears building and I rub my eyes.

"Take your time" he says kindly.

"Overwhelmed" I say eventually.

"Understandable" he replies and waits.

I feel the sudden need to share and I just open up, "I just feel lost. Josh is dead which is the worst thing ever, the pain from that is unbearable and I just have no idea what I'm going to do. I know that I have to be strong, I have my baby to consider and then I have Mr Landon now making threats and saying stuff and generally acting like a crazy man. I am keeping my dad from his work, as he has to take time off work to be here with me and I have school and I..." I stop and burst into tears.

"Ok Denise, I think you need to just prioritise everything here ok?" John says after he has let me cry for a few moments.

"Ok" I say and I sniff.

"Right then, first of all don't worry about your dad as he didn't have to take time off from work, he wants to and why does he want to Denise, you tell me why he did it?" John says.

"Because he loves me and wants to be there for me" I answer immediately.

"Ok, that's right so why should you worry about the consequences of him taking time off work, when it was his decision to do it?" he asks.

I think about it and look at my dad and squeeze his hand, "yeah you're right" I say.

"I know I am" he replies, "Now, about Mr Landon, you are afraid he is going to take your son?" John says.

"Yes" I sob and the tears falling again as the very real fear from his threats surge through me.

"Ok Denise answer me one thing, how far along are you?" John asks calmly.

I know immediately where this is going, "Twenty Five weeks" I reply.

"Ok so how long does a healthy pregnancy normally last?" John asks.

"Thirty Nine/forty weeks" I say.

"So if my maths are correct you have at least another nineteen weeks to go before the baby is even born?" he says.

"Yes" I reply.

"So until that moment is there any point about worrying about that, as the baby is safe inside you and Mr Landon can't get at him can he?" he asks.

"No he can't" I say, "but…" I continue.

"But nothing, Denise. When the baby is born then I'm sure your father will do everything possible to prevent Mr Landon from taking your baby away and don't forget you were not married to Josh so legally speaking he has no claim on your son, but that is something you don't need to consider for another nineteen weeks at least" he says.

I sigh, "Yeah you're right" I say again and as I start to look at things logically the fear slowly starts to recede.

"Right then, now the thing which is worrying me most, is how you are feeling about losing Josh. This we need to address but I don't want to start anything now as I believe we some extensive time to talk through what you are experiencing. Will you be available for a few Skype sessions so we can talk this through at length?" John asks.

"Yeah, I am" I say.

"Good, shall we say 4pm this afternoon? I have an hour window free there which we can make a start on this and take it from there, what do you say?" he asks.

"Thank you John, can my dad be with me?" I ask.

"Of course he can, if you want your father present then that's fine with me" he says.

"Thank you" I reply. I feel much calmer now and my thoughts are clearer I say goodbye and hand the phone back to my dad. I watch as John continues to speak with him for a few more moments, before my dad thanks him and hangs up.

"Four o clock" he says to me. I nod and quickly set a reminder on my phone. My dad kisses me and asks if I'm ok, I nod and he disappears from the room. I start going over the events of the day before, and something suddenly occurs to me, I hadn't given the other driver a single thought, what happened to him or her, are they ok?

"DAD" I yell and moments later my door opens and my dad is there.

"Dad, I need to ask you something?" I say and pat my bed.

He nods and sits down beside me. "What is it?" he asks.

"What about the other driver? What happened to them? Are they ok, do we know what happened what caused the accident?" I ask.

I see my dad's face fall at my words and he closes his eyes as if he was dreading this question, and in that moment a feeling of dread consumes me and my mind flashes to my dream and Mike's face laughing at me through the window of the car and before he can say anything I have this feeling that I know what he is going to say.

He grips my hand, "The other driver died too" he says quietly.

"Oh" I say, I know he is not telling me everything and the fact he isn't confirms to me what I was thinking.

"You know who the other driver was don't you?" I push.

My dad stares at me and nods once.

I take a deep breath I am pretty certain I am right about this so I voice my hunch, "Was it Mike?" I ask and then I close my eyes waiting for the reply I just know I am going to get.

"Yes" he replies and I feel his arms go around me. I let out a deep sigh. So he did it, he couldn't have Josh and he made sure no-one else could either.

"Are you alright?" my dad asks me nervously.

I think for a moment, I'm not sure how I feel to be honest. I think I should be angry but no matter how hard I try I can't bring myself to be angry, not with Mike. The only thing I feel is an overwhelming sadness which confuses me, no its not sadness its... pity and then I realise why, everything that happened with him and the way he behaved was down to the fucked up life he had with his sicko family. He just wanted to be loved and that makes me sad and douses any feelings of anger I have.

I realise my dad is still waiting for an answer and I look up at him.

"I'm ok, honestly" I say. I feel my dad relax slightly at my words and I continue to voice my thoughts on this. "I don't feel any anger towards Mike, if I am honest all I feel is pity. He died looking for love, he went about it the wrong way but considering the life he had its hardly any wonder he behaved the way he did. He was tormented and now he is finally at peace" I say with a shrug.

My dad stares at me "You astound me" he says quietly.

I shrug again, "If I'm honest I'm a little bit astounded at myself for thinking that way, but what's the point of being bitter and holding a grudge against a dead man?" I say.

"You are an amazing person Denise and I am so proud to call myself your father" my dad says and he presses a kiss to my head.

I think about everything that has happened and I start to talk. I lean my head against my father's chest and I can hear his heart beating a steady strong rhythm and it comforts me.

"I feel numb now, it's like I have shut down to protect myself from the overwhelming pain of the grief I feel at losing Josh. I think I am trying to block out the pain and feeling numb is better than hurting. I am a little angry at Mr Landon for behaving the way he is, but then another part of me is telling me he is grieving and just lashing out, but it's his own fault he is struggling because of what he did and said if he had made amends and just apologised he wouldn't have been estranged from Josh when he died… but the person I feel most angry with at this moment is Sybil Hanson" I say and I feel my anger rising inside me as I think about that fucking paedophile.

"Really?" my father asks in surprise and I nod my head.

I look up at him "Yes I do, I know it's kind of irrational but in my mind I can't help but think that way, because everything that has happened gravitates back to her. She fucked up Donny Foster which had the knock on effect of screwing Mike up beyond any semblance of sanity, and she was the puppet master who brought them into our lives, because of her infatuation with Uncle Christian and her fucked up desire to get revenge on you for whatever she thinks you did. She is the person I hate most and I really want to meet her just once and tell her what I think of her" I say.

"That is never happening!" my dad says emphatically.

I stare up at him, "We'll see!" I say.

My dad stiffens and shakes his head adamantly, "No way Denise, I will not allow it" he says, he is getting agitated and I put my hand on his chest and try and calm him down.

"Dad, don't get upset, please don't. I don't mean now, this minute although I'd like to do it now as I think it would have more impact but at some point I want to see her with my own eyes and tell her" I say.

My dad shakes his head, "No, because it won't do any good she is a complete sociopath, she will probably just get a kick out of it" he says.

"I know she is and that is why I need to do it. I won't get angry even though a part of me just wants to rip her limb from limb. I also know that wouldn't do the slightest good as it won't affect her. I won't get upset as I know that will also fuel her sick fantasies. I will destroy her by being... I don't know indifferent to her, I need to tell her despite everything she has tried she hasn't won because she is irrelevant, and we all get to live our lives while she is stuck in the prison rotting away and I think _that_ will hurt her the most, and if I was to see that it will give me the closure I need to rid myself of the anger I am currently feeling towards her" I say.

My dad stares at me, and he seems to be considering what I am saying, "It means that much to you?" he says.

I nod, "It does" I say.

I watch him thinking, "Let's discuss it with John, I don't want to do anything until we have run it past him, I'm not promising anything but if doesn't see any harm in doing it then I will consider your request" he says.

I nod, "That's fine, thank you daddy" I say.

"Ok, but if I do give the go ahead to this and you do this, I'm going in with you. You are not facing her alone" he says.

I nod, "That's fine, I would want you to come in with me as I want her to see she hasn't affected you one bit either and that everything she has done is totally pointless" I say.

I see him shake his head. "What the fuck am I agreeing to?" he mutters to himself.

"Closure" I reply.

**oooOOOooo**

After a very productive Skype session with John Flynn I am feeling much more centred and together, he has given me exercises to work on for when the grief and pain is threatening to overwhelm me and he has agreed in principle for me to go and confront Sybil Hanson. He did say he could understand why I wanted to do it, but he also gave me dire warnings about what she was like, and how she manipulates people and tries to dominate them.

I am pretty sure I know what I am dealing with and I have a good idea of how I am going to handle her, and hopefully if all goes to plan I will get my closure and she will be left feeling pissed. My dad still isn't happy about the whole idea but after we talked with John he called Jason and asked about arranging a visit for us. Moments after he had hung up Uncle Christian called wanting to know what the hell I thought I was playing at. My dad had backed me, and stood beside me – despite his own reservations on the matter and I was really thankful for that, and it makes me realise just how much my father loves me and trusts me.

Olivia and Zoe came home from school and I was in the sitting room on the sofa with my plastered leg up on the coffee table when they came in Zoe squealed and practically launched herself at me, and Liv came and sat beside me and gave me hug. Zoe soon lost interest and wandered off to her room leaving just me and Liv alone.

"It's good to have you home, I've been so worried, dad wouldn't let me come and visit you" Liv says quietly.

"It's good to be home, and last night I wasn't very good company so it's probably best you weren't there" I say. I can see Liv wants to say something but doesn't know what to say or how to say it, I smile at her.

"Spit it out sis, what's eating you?" I ask.

"I'm sorry about Josh" she says quietly and I feel the tears starting to form, I blink rapidly.

"Thanks" I say a little more sharply than I anticipated or meant to.

She doesn't say any more and puts her head down. I reach for her and touch her arm. "It's ok it's just so raw at the moment" I say.

She nods at me, "What are you going to do?" she asks.

I shrug, "Same as what I had already planned to do, graduate high school, have my baby and try and be the best mom I can be. The only thing that is different now is that I won't have Josh by my side while I do it, but I'm pretty sure he is looking down from wherever he is on us and will keep an eye on things" I say.

"What about Josh's family are you going to let them see the baby when he is born?" she asks.

I shrug again, "At this moment I don't want Ryan Landon anywhere near me or my baby" I say sharply.

Liv looks at me in surprise, and I quickly explain what happened at the hospital, she looks shocked. "Shit" she says.

"Quite" I say.

I see the indignation on her face and I sense a rising anger as she thinks about what I have just told her. "I mean I know he is grieving at the moment but to behave like that, that was just crazy talk" she says after a moment's silence.

I nod, "I know, I will give him one more chance but if he isn't civil then he can just fuck off" I say firmly.

"Good for you" Liv says.

As we are sitting talking my father appears, he smiles at Liv and she gets up and hugs him.

"I've spoken to Jason and he has managed to arrange a meeting for you, a week from today. It will be a quick turnaround we will fly out, and after the visit we will come home are you ok with that?" he says.

"Yes that's fine. Thank you daddy" I say gratefully.

He nods at me, "I need you to know that I'm not totally happy about this, Jason will be watching as will Raul. I will accompany you and I have the final say, anything slightly off I am pulling you out and you will do so immediately with no argument do you understand me?" he says firmly.

I nod as I expected as much, "I understand… you sound like Raul" I say with a grin.

He shakes his head at me, and smiles reluctantly. "Also Jodie called me, Josh's funeral is also next week the day after we arrive back from Seattle, do you want to go?" he asks.

I nod firmly and look at him slightly incredulously, "Of course I do, I want to say goodbye to him" I say, a little shocked that my dad even asked that.

He nods again, "I was just making sure, I will accompany you there too and please Denise, if Landon loses it, goads you or anything do not react. I will have security there and the more evidence we can get of him being unreasonable and unstable the less chance he has of getting access to you and your son and the better case we can make to prevent him" he says.

"Ok" I say, Liv is watching and listening to our conversation.

"Why are you going to Seattle?" she asks suddenly.

"I have to get closure" I say cryptically.

She stares at me, and I glance at my dad but he shakes his head slightly.

"Look don't ask me Liv" I say.

"Is it something to do with that woman in prison in Washington who has been behind all the attacks?" she asks.

"Yes" I reply "but please don't ask me anything more" I add.

"Ok" she says.

**oooOOOooo**

_One Week Later..._

The car crosses the tarmac and stops at the foot of the steps of my dad's plane. It's early and yet my mind is going a mile a minute. My dad is sitting silently beside me as the car stops. Raul opens the door and I ease myself out of the car leaning heavily on my crutches.

I watch as my father rounds the car and stands beside me, "Can you manage?" he asks.

I nod and slowly make my way up the steps of the plane. Once I am on board I settle myself and pull my seatbelt on. I am feeling oddly calm and in a way I am looking forward to this. I had spent nearly three hours on the phone with Uncle Christian last night, at first he was trying to talk me out of doing it, but I explained why I felt I needed to, I had explained to him that I had this notion in my head that everything that had happened was down to her and what she had done.

After I had said that he said that he understood where I was coming from. If I am honest I want to see her just to see what she is like and see how someone can be so evil. In the end he accepted what I wanted to do and why I wanted to do it and ended up telling me all about her and how she will try and dominate and manipulate me and not to let her.

My dad is exceptionally quiet today. I know that he is worried about this, but I'm not. I have gathered together stuff to show her. My dad doesn't know I have done this, but I have family photographs taken over the years of Uncle Christian and my dad being silly at family get-togethers and of everyone happy. I have recordings on my phone of different occasions where everyone was happy and having fun because I want to rub her nose in it, and show her despite what she does she hasn't won.

I wonder what Josh would make of me doing this, in an odd kind of way I feel that I am doing this for him as he was a victim of hers indirectly because of the way Mike was so fucked up. He was fucked up because of his dad and his dad was fucked up because of her so in my mind it is simple and straightforward. I touch my bump, running my hand over it and I feel the baby move and kick, he has been pretty active today. I promised my dad I wouldn't get angry and I would stay calm but I really don't think that will be a problem as I almost feel serene today, I'm just totally focussed on what I want to do... what I _need_ to do.

I close my eyes and decide to take a nap as I want to be totally awake and focussed when I get there.

**(GIDEON)**

I watch my daughter sleeping her hand resting protectively on her bump, I can't for the life of me understand why she wants to do this, or what good she thinks it will do.

I have talked it through with John and the way he sees it is Denise is looking for someone to blame for Josh's death, but for some reason she can't bring herself to blame Mike Foster who actually drove into them and caused the accident. She had said some pretty profound things when she found out the other driver was Mike and she seems to have latched on to the fact Sybil caused Donnie to be the father he was to Mike and therefore Mike to be the way he was so in Denise's mind Sybil was ultimately to blame.

John suggested we indulge her. To give her, her moment but keep firm control over proceedings and not allow Sybil to try and manipulate her. Denise was on the phone to my brother last night for what seemed like an eternity and I know he tried to talk her out of this, but he failed. That makes me smile the thought of my sixteen year old daughter refusing to be swayed and influenced by the very persuasive Christian Grey. I close my eyes and decide to take a nap and try and stop worrying about what is going to happen when we arrive in Washington.

I awaken just before we land and as the plane touches down at SeaTac I am even more nervous. Jason is meant to be meeting us, Raul and Paul are here with us and they are both subdued. I go and gently wake Denise.

As we leave the plane I see the familiar Audi SUV waiting with Jason Taylor standing beside it. As we reach him Raul and Paul shake his hand and Raul introduces Paul to him. Denise walks up to Jason and hugs him tightly.

"Thank you for arranging this" she says to him.

He simply nods at her and returns her hug. He shakes my hand and gives me a meaningful look.

"Sir, we are going to head straight to the Penitentiary now and then Mr Grey requests you join him for a late lunch, which by the time we arrive will probably be a high tea" Jason says.

"That's fine" I agree and then I glance at Denise who just nods.

"Yeah sure" she says, "let's do this thing" she adds.

She smiles and I am once again struck by how calm and collected she is. If I am honest I am little worried by this behaviour as it's like she has totally shut down all her emotions and is functioning on auto pilot. I also can't help but wonder what effect this on top of everything else that has happened and then the funeral tomorrow is going to have on her state of mind. Everyone has a breaking point and I am terrified what will happen when Denise reaches hers and breaks, nobody can continue to take what she has had thrown at her and keep going so stoically like she has without some kind of cracks appearing.

We are ushered into the SUV and driven to the jail. When we arrive we are met by Jason's friend Jeff who leads us to a small room. He assures us he, Jason and Raul will be watching and listening from the adjoining room through the two way mirror and the entire encounter will be recorded visually and audibly. Raul is in contact with Paul who will be stationed outside the room and if he believes things should end he will send word to Paul and Paul will enter the room. If I believe things should end I am to stand up and again Paul will be sent in. Everyone is clear on what will happen and Denise promises to abide by our decisions.

We take our seats and Denise settles herself down and Paul takes away her crutches and we sit and wait. A light comes on and the door opens, I glance up and to be honest I am shocked by what I see. The last time I saw Sybil Hanson was at the trial for the abduction of Ana about 18 or so years ago. This woman in front of us bears no resemblance to her whatsoever. I take in the orange jumpsuit which is hanging on her frail frame and the shackles, the untidy grey hair and wizened make up free face. She stops dead when she sees us and an evil smile crosses her lips. I glance at Denise who just stares impassively at her. I shuffle uncomfortably but don't say anything.

She takes her seat in front of us and she attached to the table by the shackles securing her. She can't take her eyes off of Denise and she stares almost indecently at her pregnant belly. Denise stares right back at her and cocks her head to one side clearly appraising her. I watch Sybil square her shoulders and then she glares at Denise trying to intimidate her and I can't help but smile, you will have to do more than that to intimidate her.

After a long silence where Denise just takes Sybil in she turns towards me and waves her hand dismissively at Sybil.

"Seriously?" she says eventually in a derisive tone, "Really? Is this her? You _are_ kidding me, this isn't really her?" she asks a note of disgust and disappointment in her voice. She looks at me questioningly and I just nod once acknowledging that yes this is indeed Sybil Hanson aka Elena Lincoln aka Helen Ellis.

Then to my amazement Denise just bursts out laughing. For the longest time she rocks with hysterical laughter until tears fall down her cheeks and she gasps for breath. It has unnerved me as it isn't good laughter and for a moment I worry she is having some sort of breakdown. I watch my daughter carefully but when I glance at Sybil and I can see this behaviour has unnerved her more than anything. She now knows Denise isn't afraid of her, she isn't intimidated by her and she realises that she can't control and manipulate her and that bothers her more than anything.

"I don't know what to say" Denise gasps eventually as she wipes her eyes; she turns to Sybil and shakes her head and lets out one final rude snort.

"Well I have to say… you are not what I expected at all, from the stories I have heard about you I was expecting some kind of goddess but all you are is a decrepit toothless old witch, and damn… orange is not your colour!" she starts giggling again and then she shakes her head before composing herself. "Do you know who I am?" Denise asks eventually after she gets control of herself.

Sybil glances at me and then nods, "Denise Cross eldest daughter of Gideon, how are you coping with the sad demise of your boyfriend, such a shame?" she asks. I immediately stiffen, as she is goading her.

"I'm absolutely fine" Denise replies firmly, "I came here today, because I wanted to see you, see the woman who had so many people doing her bidding, but it's so sad, they are all gone now. Your sister she has left the state and is starting a new life across the country, with a new identity so she doesn't come and visit you so often I bet. Donny Foster is in prison and wants no part of you anymore his kids who got fucked up because of the way you fucked up their dad are all in therapy and getting help to rebuild their lives, except for Mike of course who has died but at least he is at peace now. But all of them see you for who you are now and as a result want no part of you, so really you should be thanking me for giving a damn and making the effort to drag my ass across the country to see you. I have to say what I've found is quite disappointing I was expecting… more, but still let's put my disappointment to one side and make the best of things seeing as I made the effort and I'm here".

I watch as Sybil stares at Denise in shock, her words have stung the old witch and the fact Denise really isn't afraid is scaring her.

Denise leans forward slightly and keeps her eyes fixed on Sybil, "What can I call you, which name do you prefer? Helen? Sybil? Elena? Or maybe one of the other aliases you have used over the years. I tell you what I'll call you Helen that was your given name, so why be pretentious and call you something you are not? Or maybe I could call you Mrs Paedo? No? Ok we'll go with Helen I think. Anyway Helen, I am so glad to have finally got to meet you, you see I needed to see you to talk to you and let you know how sorry I feel for you being stuck here all alone". She pauses letting her words sink in before she continues.

"Here you are all alone without a friend in the world. Nobody who cares about you, nobody who gives a damn if you live or die and I thought come on Denise do the charitable thing go and see the poor old woman, after all she has been trying to get your attention for months and failed every time. She's obviously lonely and needs a friend right now. Why else would she go to such effort to try and get your attention? I thought some more about it and it was then I realised that all the people you have relied on have all gone" she stops and shakes her head sadly as if she feeling sad at that thought.

The she returns her steady gaze back to Sybil, "I thought you know what Denise it's the least you can do after all everything she has tried to do to you and your family has failed. Backfired quite spectacularly in some cases and so it's the least you can do to go and commiserate with her and try and make her feel a bit better about herself". She pauses again and I listen staring in awe at her. She is a fucking genius, she isn't ranting or blaming she is pitying and condescending and most importantly she is showing her she isn't afraid and Sybil is confused and she doesn't know what to do or how to handle it. I continue to observe my daughter verbally destroying Sybil with... kindness!

Denise waves her hand at me, "You've met my dad before; he wanted to come with me, because he loves me and well you know what it's like with parents. He worries about me, and wants me to be safe… you know what it's like after all you had a mom and dad once who loved and cared about you who wanted to keep you safe and away from harm" I suppress a smile she is now reminding Sybil of her own wretched childhood.

"You know what it's like to be a parent, well… no perhaps you don't, as you don't have kids do you? Oh hang on, yes you do… you have a son don't you? Does he come and visit you at all, no... of course I'm sorry I forgot. He has cut you out of his life too. He works for my dad and he has made a spectacular success of his life you should be so proud of him as despite having you as his mom he is doing really well, it's a shame you don't see him stuck here in this dreary old place do you have any friends here Helen? Anyone who looks out for you, you know takes care of you, any family who will go out of their way to come and visit you and spend time with you? You know, like I have. I have my family I spent nearly three hours on the phone to my Uncle last night just chatting you know, catching up. Do you have anyone like my dad? He takes care of me and looks out for me; do you have anyone like that Helen? You're very quiet Helen I'm doing all the talking here, here I am out of the goodness of my heart coming to visit you because you have no-one else and you are just sitting there letting me do all the talking. Still never mind I have plenty to say. So I take it from your silence that you don't have anyone like my dad who takes care of you and looks out for you? No? Oh that's such a shame, I can't help but notice you are missing a few teeth there? Never mind eh it's actually a good look on you – old, toothless and haggard – suits you, all you need now is something nicer to wear, as orange really isn't your colour and it doesn't even fit properly!"

I get the implication of that comment and so does Sybil I can see her getting more and more wound up by Denise's words. But what she says next floors me.

"As I said earlier I was talking about you last night to my uncle, now he has aged well, he may be my uncle but he is still a seriously hot man, a bit like my dad you have to admit he gets more handsome the older he gets but then again you prefer men on the younger side don't you? It's a shame you haven't aged so well, but then again you are significantly older than them aren't you, but they are not only a pair of pretty faces they also have beautiful hearts". She turns to me and smiles at me and reaches for my hand and squeezes it.

Well that wasn't subtle, she made sure the earlier implication of how Sybil looks was rammed home I am desperately trying not to react this, she is killing it here and Sybil is totally on the back foot she has no opening and she is being verbally eviscerated. I continue to listen and keep my expression neutral.

"You remember my uncle don't you, Christian Grey? Do you remember him, I mean you're getting on a bit you know, when I spoke to him last night I asked him if he remembers you, he said he vaguely remembers you. I mentioned to him that I was so worried about you and how you were doing and I told him I was coming to visit you, I asked him if he wanted to join me but he was too busy to change his schedule, he has far more important things to do and people to see, than make time to see someone he barely remembers and who doesn't register in his life at all. I told him that was a bit naughty, after all you claim to be the one who made him what he is and he laughed at me, I know! He actually laughed at me and said that I was wrong, he said Denise the person who made me what I am today is Ana, which I suppose I can understand. I mean you only had him what… six years if that? He has been with Aunty Ana now for ooh twice as long. How long would it be now? It must be about eighteen years something like that, but he didn't even give you any credit for the six years you had him, but then again he was a _child_ then".

I watch as that biting comment and emphasis on the word child makes Sybil's eyes flare with anger, but before she can retort, Denise carries on.

"Do you remember my Aunt Ana? well she sends you her regards too, but she was also too busy to come and see you with me today, so I thought seeing as my aunt and uncle are too busy to bother about you, that you might like to see how we are all doing so I've brought some pictures for you to see, here look".

I watch as Denise pulls her cell phone from her bag and a bundle of photographs. I glance at them and I notice that they are all taken at family get-together's over the years and show us all happy and content.

"This was at thanksgiving, that's my dad and Uncle Christian being silly we have lots of fun pictures like this, oh look that is Uncle Christian being silly with my uncle Christopher and Uncle Ethan you don't know them, wait hang on here we are… oh this was Christmas in New York, oh these are older ones but as you can see everyone is all together and having fun and having a wonderful time. Everyone is so happy, just look at this one of my uncle hugging Aunt Ana after all these years and they are still so much in love".

I notice she has made sure to show a photo of Christian holding Ana tightly and Ana has her arms wrapped around him, touching him. In fact it doesn't escape my notice that all the photos of Christian show him being tactile and affectionate with family members and more importantly others are touching him.

"We have a lot of pictures like this; this is just a very small sample. Did you do anything nice for Thanksgiving and Christmas? Oh no sorry you were in here weren't you, did anyone come and visit you? Surely you got chance to celebrate with someone special?" Denise says as she stares coldly at her.

"Or perhaps you were all alone? Did you think of my uncle at Thanksgiving and Christmas and wonder what he was doing while you were in here all alone? Well now you know this is what we were doing. My family, were all together having fun, being happy… and do you know what? Not one of us gave you a single thought".

She pulls out her cell phone and plays the recording of us doing our rather drunken rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody and she smiles as she watches. "Look how happy everyone is, it's such a shame you don't have and never have had and never will have such a fabulous family" she stops and sighs dramatically.

I turn my attention to Sybil who looks completely devastated; I have never seen her look so destroyed. She shakes her head… and fuck! I actually see tears in her eyes. I can't believe it! I can't believe that Denise has managed to do this. The way she has handled this she knew that if she came in ranting Sybil would have reacted and fed off it, so she disarmed her, by making it clear she wasn't afraid of her, and even offered her words of kindness and then destroyed her with the truth, while all the time talking to her as if she is an old friend.

"No" Sybil mutters. It's the first time she has said anything and Denise immediately jumps on it.

"Sorry what did you say?" Denise asks, and then she twists the knife a little more, "Oh Helen you're crying, don't upset yourself. Surely seeing what a happy wonderful fulfilled life my uncle has, should make you happy. He doesn't need you, he doesn't want you. In fact nobody needs you and nobody wants you. We have each other, and even though my boyfriend and the father of my baby died and will never see his son, I have the love and support of my family and my extended family and we will never be alone. Can you say the same thing? Can you say you will never be alone, can you say you are loved by someone? You can't can you Helen and you know that makes me so damned happy but I do pity you because no matter what you try to do you will never hurt me, you will never hurt my dad or my uncle because we all have each other. We all support and love each other, we have each other and you have... no-one. Thank you for seeing me today; it's been an absolute pleasure. Well for me anyway, but I can't help but think I have been a little harsh on you after all I made you cry and making old women cry isn't something I am used to doing so I want to give you something positive to take from this meeting Helen what can I give you?" I watch as Denise theatrically taps her chin as if in deep thought.

She smiles brightly and holds up a finger as if she has had a light bulb moment, "I know! You think he was your greatest success… Uncle Christian, that is. Well you are right he was, because he saw you for the evil twisted bitch you are and he managed to get out of your grip and got away from you, and go on to live a full happy contented life with people he loves and people who love him. I'm going to go and meet him now with my dad for a late lunch – have you had your lunch yet Helen? If not I hope you enjoy your lunch, by yourself in your little cell" Denise stands up and holds out her hand then giggles as she withdraws it.

"Oops sorry you can't even shake my hand can you?" she quips "Perhaps it's for the best, now you take good care of yourself, and when you have your lunch you make sure you mush up your food well now you don't have any teeth to help you chew it, and try not to spill any on that lovely orange jumpsuit, you have a nice life... what's left of it in here".

With that she turns and Paul quickly enters handing her the crutches and she walks out of the room her head held high and I stand and follow her without saying a word. As we get outside I watch as she sags and trembles and then hurriedly turns and vomits into a nearby bin. I grab her hair and hold her steady as she drops her crutches and grasps the bin and continues to wretch.

"Are you ok?" I ask her as she straightens, as I notice she is still trembling.

She nods at me, "the evil in that woman was palpable" she says.

"You were magnificent" I say proudly.

I see her grin slightly, "yeah I was, wasn't I!" she replies.

I watch Raul approach with a look of unconcealed pride and a smug grin on his face accompanied by Jason who is wearing a similar smug grin.

"You nailed it "Jason says, "I have never seen that woman so damn speechless and... submissive!" he says.

We head out and meet up with my brother for lunch, he is waiting anxiously and he looks meaningfully at me as we approach, I embrace him and he turns and hugs Denise.

"How did it go?" he whispers to me.

"She fucking owned her ass" I say proudly. "You wait till you see the footage" I add.

Denise disappears to the bathroom to rinse her mouth and freshen up and Paul follows her leaving me with Jason, Raul and my brother.

"She was fucking awesome" I say I turn to Jason and Raul, "Wasn't she?" I ask them.

They both nod in unison, "She had that old hag in tears at one point and she didn't let up for a second she let her have it full force both barrels but in such a way that there was no opening for Elena at all, I have the footage and you will see for yourself later, it was beautiful" Jason says.

"Is she ok sir?" Raul asks me.

I shake my head, "I don't know she was so composed, so detached there was no emotion, if I am honest I am worried about her, as her emotions have to be all over the place she was obviously holding something in by her reaction when she came out and vomited" I say.

A silence descends over the table which is ended as Denise and Paul rejoin us.

"Feeling better?" I ask.

"Yep" she replies with a smile I look carefully at her but she isn't giving me any indications, she is totally controlling herself, appearing to be a picture of calm and indifference, a mask much like the one I wore for years.

We have our lunch well say lunch it is more of a high tea considering it is late afternoon and then I say our goodbyes to my brother and head back to the airport. It's been a busy day, but we have another busy one tomorrow and it is going to be an emotional one for Denise, as she is going to facing Landon and saying her goodbyes to Josh. I glance at my watch as the plane takes off it is nearly 6:30 in the evening by the time we eventually get in the air, plus we are losing 3 hours with the time difference, so it will be about 2:30 in the early hours when we arrive back in New York. I persuade Denise to use the bed so she can get some sleep on the flight and she does so, leaving me sitting with Raul and Paul in the main cabin.

When we arrive at La Guardia Denise is in a deep sleep so I carefully pull her from the bed and arrange her in the seat and buckle her in. She doesn't even stir she is sleeping so heavily. I take a moment to watch her and then wrapping a blanket around her I carry her still sleeping from the plane down the steps and into the waiting car. I am astounded she hasn't stirred but she is sleeping peacefully and I am thinking that has something to do with the events of today, or should I say yesterday. When we arrive home I carry her to her bed and then head to my own.


	22. Chapter 22

CHAPTER 22

**(GIDEON)**

"Good Morning Jason what can I do for you this morning?" I ask as I pour myself some coffee.

"Good morning, just a quick update. After our visit yesterday, Elena wasn't in the best mood and she had a bit of a tantrum after she was sent back to her cell. The trouble is after comprehensively trashing it she was moved to general population, and let's just say female paedophiles are not very popular amongst general population and so she is now back in the infirmary, broken cheekbone and jaw, a couple more teeth have gone and she has a number of cracked ribs, she's a pretty sorry sight by all accounts, I thought I'd just share the glad tidings!"

I laugh, "That is wonderful news" I say gleefully thank you for letting me know" I say.

"You're welcome" he replies.

"Look thanks for the call was there anything else, I don't mean to be rude but it's the funeral today and I have a number of calls I need to make because I'm not going to be at work, I'm accompanying Denise just in case Landon gets any ideas" I say with a sigh, my mood taking a nosedive as I think about it.

"No nothing else, I'll let you get on, Bye Mr Cross" he says.

"'Bye Jason and thanks again" I reply.

**(OLIVIA)**

I wake up and listen I can hear my father moving around and talking, I hear him say 'Scott' so immediately I know that he is up and on the phone talking to his assistant. I knew he and Dennie had returned from Seattle, I heard them come home in the early hours.

I lie in bed and think; I want to go with Dennie to the funeral after what she told me about Mr Landon I want to be there for her. She is my sister and I love her, and I also liked Josh a lot and want to pay my respects to him, I go over in my mind how I am going to put this to my dad and I climb out of bed and slipping on my robe I head out in search of him.

I find him pacing in the kitchen with his Bluetooth headset on and a mug of coffee in his hand, he turns when he sees me and smiles at me and I can tell he is nearly done on his call. When he hangs up and throws the headset on the table I walk over to him and hug him.

"Good morning daddy" I say quietly.

"Good morning to you as well" he replies as he returns my hug and presses a kiss to the top of my head.

"How did things go in Seattle?" I ask.

"Very well" he says cagily I know he doesn't want me to know too much about that woman in the prison there, I know enough to know she is pretty bad.

"Dad I need to talk to you about something" I begin.

"Oh? What's up?" he asks and gestures to a seat at the table. I sit down and he takes the seat beside me staring at me intently.

"I want to go with Dennie to the funeral today. I mean I liked Josh and I would like to pay my respects too, and... well... I think it would be better if I went instead of you. Dennie has told me everything that Mr Landon has said and because he has such a grudge against you I think if you go with Dennie it will likely set him off, but he won't be expecting me there and my theory is he won't want to show his true colours in front of me. I mean he won't want another witness to his craziness" I stop and look at my dad hopefully, and I see him considering what I have said.

"Alright, I can see where you are coming from but you will be accompanied by Davis and Paul and Raul will also be on hand, but although I agree in principle I think Denise should have the final say do you understand?" he says.

I nod; "thank you daddy that's what I hoped you would say" I say as I lean towards him and fling my arms around his neck.

I head to my room and get showered and dressed as I come out I hear movement in Dennie's room and I go and knock on her door.

"Come in" she calls and I open the door.

She turns and smiles at me as I enter. "Hi what's up?" she asks.

"Nothing, I want to ask you something?" I say.

She looks at me questioningly, "Ok?" she says.

"Can I come with you to the funeral today?" I ask.

She stares in surprise, "Sure if you want to, you'll have to ask dad though, because it will mean you taking a day off school" she says.

I nod, "I already have and he said as long as it's ok with you he is fine about it, but there's more I was thinking perhaps it's not such a good idea if dad goes, I mean Mr Landon hates his guts" I says.

Denise snorts, "I think he hates mine a damn sight more!" she says.

"Possibly" I reply, "But you and dad together may tip him over the edge, but my thoughts are if I am with you he might try and rein it in a bit. I mean he doesn't want someone else seeing him acting like an asshole".

Denise pauses and looks at me, "Yeah you may be right about that" she says.

"Great" I reply, "I'll go and tell dad you said it's ok!" and with that I turn and leave her to get ready.

I head back to the kitchen and fix myself some breakfast and dad looks up from the laptop he has in front of him as I join him at the table. Zoe is tucking into her cereal and grins at me.

"Dennie is ok about it" I say quietly and my dad nods pulling his phone from his pocket and calls the school.

I am just finishing as Dennie walks in on her crutches. She looks lovely, she is wearing a black shift dress and a flat black shoe on her good foot she has her hair brushed and put up into a messy bun. She is wearing a matching black jacket which she shrugs off and throws on the chair when she stops.

"Do I look ok?" she asks looking at me and then dad.

"You look beautiful sweetheart" dad says kindly.

Dennie nods and glances at me, "You look lovely Dennie" I say and smile reassuringly at her.

My sister has changed she is so quiet and reserved now, I am worried about her. I mean she is going to be a mom and she is taking it seriously but there is something about the way she is now which unnerves me, something which I can't put my finger on. It's like I am waiting for something bad to happen. I know it is going to happen but I don't know when, that's how I feel when I am around Dennie these days, like the calm and stillness you get before a massive storm and it's not a nice feeling.

Dennie fixes herself a drink and some toast and my dad asks her if that is all she is having she tells him to leave it out and that she is fine and will eat something more later, he lets it go but I can tell he is worried about her too.

I go and get ready, I pick out a pair of black trousers and a black top, and when I am happy with how I look I head out.

Dad gives us this long lecture about not reacting if Mr Landon does anything and to listen to Davis and Paul, he tells us he will be here waiting when we get home. I had heard him earlier telling Scott he was working from home today so that is no surprise to me. Zoe has long gone to school and I sit down and wait for Raul to come and fetch me.

"Olivia" I turn and see Davis waiting and beside him is Raul so I stand up.

"Are we going now?" I ask and Davis nods at me.

We head out the Bentley is waiting and I watch as Denise struggles to clamber in. Paul takes her crutches and throws them in the boot. I climb in beside her and notice for the first time she is trembling slightly. I reach out and place my hand in hers and she grips it and smiles at me. Davis is driving the Bentley and Paul sits beside him and Raul is following us in the Merc.

"Ok here goes" I mutter as the car pulls away.

"Thank you for doing this" Dennie says quietly to me as we head towards the funeral home.

When we arrive everyone turns and stares at the car. I climb out first and a look of confusion crosses the faces of everyone and I really want to shout yeah you weren't expecting that were you, but of course I don't, instead I grab the crutches from Paul and help my sister out of the car.

"Ok?" I whisper to her as I hand her the crutches. She nods and gives me a weak smile.

"Hello" I turn at the greeting and see a young woman approaching.

Dennie seems to know her as she smiles at her. "Hi Jodie" she says warmly then she turns to me, "Liv this is Jodie, she is Josh's twin sister, Jodie this is my sister Olivia" we greet each other and Jodie hugs Dennie.

"Is your dad not coming?" she asks.

Dennie shakes her head, "No he thought his presence might not go down well with your dad, I'm pretty sure mine won't either but we thought if both of us turned up it might push him over the edge" she says with a shrug. "He wanted to though, he liked Josh and wanted to pay his respects but he didn't want to be the cause of a scene or anything" she says.

"That was very thoughtful of him, dad is ok at the moment and he promised mom he won't do anything stupid. He knows you are coming and he said he wants to apologise to you for his behaviour at the hospital" Jodie says.

"Ok, well if I get chance I hear him out later" Dennie says dismissively.

We head inside and once again head's turn and eyes follow us. There is a lot of whispering and I hear the words 'pregnant girlfriend' and 'Gideon Cross's daughter' quite a bit, I don't know how Dennie is holding it together as I am pissed off already by it. But I keep a lid on my emotions I am here to support my sister and she doesn't need me losing it.

A tall woman walks over to us and air kisses Dennie and tells her that she looks lovely, Dennie turns to me. "Liv this is Josh's mom, Mrs Landon this is my sister Olivia" she says.

Mrs Landon gushes and hugs me and thanks me profusely for coming, I watch Dennie she is totally emotionless. I have seen Uncle Christian and my dad do impassive and do it well, but this is on another level. But then I see Dennie stiffen, its more than stiffen she freezes and she stares at a man heading straight for us. Mrs Landon turns and she too freezes for a moment before stepping away and intercepting the man before he reaches us. I realise this must be Josh's dad.

"Ryan darling, this is Olivia, Denise's sister" she says to him, the man stares at me and silently offers his hand in greeting.

I accept it, "I am very pleased to meet you Mr Landon, I'm sorry it's under these circumstances and I am very sorry for your loss" I say almost mechanically.

"Thank you Olivia that is very kind of you" he replies. I watch him turn to Dennie and pause, then he looks at his wife, "will you give us a moment please Janice" he murmurs.

I see Paul and Davis close in significantly and Mr Landon notices too, "It's alright gentlemen I won't hurt them" he says sarcastically. Then he turns to me, "Olivia I would like to speak to your sister privately if you don't mind" I look at Denise for guidance and she shakes her head.

"I'm sorry Mr Landon but Liv stays with me, I promised dad I would take care of her today as she doesn't know anyone here so she stays with me. But I'm sure whatever you want to say can be said in front of her" Dennie says adamantly.

Mr Landon smiles but it doesn't reach his eyes which remain cold "That's fine, I just wanted to apologise for my behaviour at the hospital, I wasn't thinking clearly and I said some things which I now regret, I was grieving and lashed out and for that I apologise" he says.

I look at him and I don't believe a word he is saying, he isn't sorry at all. I also have a feeling that wasn't what he wanted to say to her, I look at Dennie and she nods "Thank you Mr Landon" she says but doesn't say another word. She catches my eye and I know from the look on her face she doesn't believe him either.

"Will you both come and join our family?" he says next and Dennie nods and we follow Mr Landon over to the seats reserved for immediate family. Paul and Davis take the seats behind us and I see Paul whisper something into Dennie's ear and she nods.

"What did Paul say?" I ask.

"He was just reassuring me that they are right behind us and that Raul is at the back of the room" she whispers to me. I look around over my shoulder and see Paul and Davis who both smile at me and I smile back before scanning the back of the room and I see Raul.

The service is lovely, Jodie does a reading and another girl who Dennie tells me is Josh's other sister also does one. Josh's mom gets up to speak and say a few words about Josh and then she looks at Dennie.

"I would like to thank Denise Josh's girlfriend for coming today, along with her sister Olivia. Denise is very important to us as she is expecting Josh's baby, and we know that a small part of Josh will continue to live on in the baby she is expecting". Dennie puts her head down at these words and stiffens she wasn't expecting this. I slip my hand into hers and gently squeeze, I hope she realises I am offering her silent reassurance.

I hear Mrs Landon speak again, "I know that you weren't expecting this Denise but would you like to come up and say a few words about Josh?" she asks. I hear Dennie gasp and immediately I lean forward and whisper in her ear.

"You don't have to do this Dennie if you don't want to" I say quietly but she shakes her head.

She looks up defiantly and nods at Mrs Landon. I stand and hand over her crutches and help her to her feet she looks at me and I see the determined look in her eye. I help her and she walks over to the podium. Mrs Landon makes a big point about hugging Dennie but I notice she doesn't respond, just holding on to her crutches – a gesture which would be forgiven by anyone watching as her unable to react but I know better, Dennie is making a point.

She stands and turns to face everyone, I see her look towards the back of the room and I see her smile, and I know she has found Raul. She pauses for a moment and then touches her bump. There is a pause and then she begins to speak.

"Thank you for giving me the opportunity to speak. I love Josh with all my heart, I don't say loved because there is no past tense I don't stop loving him just because he is no longer here in person, I will continue to love Josh until the day I die. I met Josh and he turned my life upside down. He loved me for _me_ not wanting me for what he could get; he was always the perfect gentleman and treated me with the utmost respect and near reverence. You all know who my father is and he didn't want me for the notoriety of dating Gideon Cross's daughter he loved me for me. He also gave me perspective, he scolded me when he discovered I had lied to my dad about meeting him and cutting school and made me promise never to do it again, and he said to me how do you expect your father to trust you when you behave like that? He was right of course – Josh was always right! When we discovered I was pregnant after an unfortunate contraceptive failure he swore he would take care of me and our baby. He was overjoyed when we found out we were expecting a little boy. He was so excited, talking about taking his son to the football and baseball, taking his son hiking. I will ensure my son knows how much he was loved by his father even though he never got the chance to meet him. Josh promised me he would protect me and our son until his final breath and he did just that a week ago, when we were in the car and he saw the other car careering towards us he quickly unbuckled his belt and threw himself over me and he told me to stay still. I wondered what the hell was wrong and then the car hit us, I held him as he lay dying in my arms and his final words to me I will always remember, he told me he loved me and asked me to take care of our son" Dennie pauses and I see her trembling she looks up towards the sky, "I promise you Josh I will" she says then she looks towards me and I don't hesitate and walk over to her.

"Come on" I whisper.

"Wait" she says and holds up her finger to me.

"I love you Josh, and I promise you I will love, and protect our son and I will tell him how wonderful you are, and I will make sure he knows how much you love him". With that Dennie turns and I wrap my arm around her and lead her down and back to her seat. Mr Landon was staring at Dennie throughout her speech and after we have taken our seat he stands to speak.

I watch as he stalks over to the podium and he pauses then he turns and glares at Dennie with pure hate in his eyes. I see it and I glance at Mrs Landon who has also seen it and she tries to capture his gaze. I have a feeling something is going to happen and I turn and look at Paul and Davis who are both on high alert. They have seen Mr Landon's reaction and are poised to react; I look towards the back of the room and see Raul has moved forward.

I grip Dennie's hand as Mr Landon opens his mouth to speak.

"Well" he begins, "What can you say to that, how heart warming to hear how much Denise Cross loves my son, how she will honour his last wishes and how she will tell her son how wonderful his father was. My son was a wonderful person, he was a good boy and he was blinded by the manipulation of Denise Cross, she trapped him purposely getting herself pregnant because she knew he would do the honourable thing and stand by her. She turned my son against me, and she now refuses to allow me any information on my grandson and she has threatened me that I will never ever see my grandson when he is born, my son would be alive today if it wasn't for her and..." his voice rising to a shout is cut off by Mrs Landon who stands up.

"Ryan that's enough, just stop it this moment. You know none of what you are saying is true, so stop it now" she turns to Dennie, "I'm so sorry Denise he isn't himself at the moment, he is eaten with guilt over what happened and how he destroyed his relationship with his son" she stops tears rolling down her cheeks.

Everyone is speechless staring at the unfolding events, they look from Mr Landon to Mrs Landon and then to Denise. I look at Dennie who is sitting bolt upright a totally impassive look on her face and hands in her lap, she is staring resolutely into the distance her head held high.

"Come on Dennie do you want to go?" I ask.

She shakes her head, "No, I'm here to say goodbye to Josh and that is what I am going to do" she says. Her voice sounds mechanical and toneless. I look at Paul desperately, I think Dennie is on the verge of cracking up and if Mr Landon says anything else I feel she is going to break now.

Mrs Landon tries to lead her husband away, but he grips the podium and glares at her. "NO!" he yells. "She killed my son, if he hadn't met her he would be alive now, she took my son away from me, she is now taking my grandson away from me" he screams. He turns to her and points his finger at her, "you took my son away from me so I will take yours - a fair trade!" he shouts and then laughs as he is bundled away to his seat.

Paul has heard enough and he and Davis physically remove Dennie from her seat, and lead her from the room, I look at her and she is shaking uncontrollably and she is muttering something to Paul and he is shaking his head and trying to reassure her. Raul takes over from Davis and wraps his arm around Dennie and starts whispering in her ear and Davis immediately moves towards me.

"Wait" I say and Davis looks desperately at me.

"No Liv, please don't" he begs.

"I have to" I say and I turn to face Mr Landon. I march up to where he is sitting and I put my hands on my hips.

"Mr Landon, do you know who I am?" I ask carefully. The entire room is now deathly silent hanging on my every word.

He nods, "Yes you are her sister" he spits saliva flying from his mouth.

I nod, "That is right Mr Landon, and I hear things. I hear conversations I am a typical nosy little sister, I eavesdrop and listen in on conversations which are really none of my business and doing that I pick up information, and I have picked up lots of information on you over the past few months, and I am going to put you straight on a couple of things. When Dennie confronted you about your plan to use her baby as your revenge on my dad, for what Geoffrey Cross did to your dad - you know when Josh found out and walked out" I hear a collective gasp around the room, and I look up and address the room at large.

"Yeah, pretty low he was planning to try and split Josh and Dennie up and get custody of the baby just to get revenge on my dad for some years old feud. Anyway, when that happened Josh came to live with us and I heard Dennie beg him to call you and talk to you, but Josh refused. She repeatedly asked him if he was sure about his decision and he repeatedly told her he was. She asked him to call you at Thanksgiving and at Christmas. She tried so hard and you know it's clear to me that you are blaming Dennie because you don't want to blame yourself, because you know it's your fault Josh was estranged from you, and you are too weak to face up to that fact. I also think it's pretty low the way you confronted Dennie not once but twice at the hospital screaming at her and threatening her that you were going to take her baby from her, who does that to someone who is pregnant? Someone who has lost her boyfriend and who is badly hurt? Then today, the day you should have had more dignity and more respect for your son… you know Josh the son who you profess to love so much? Today was the day you should have held it together for him and for your family but no you used today to continue to vent your pathetic vengeance against Dennie and our family, instead of respecting your son's memory. You are a selfish sad pathetic little man" I say and with that I turn and as I walk away. I hear a ripple of applause getting louder and more intense as I walk away.

I look up at Davis who smiles at me as we leave, and he shakes his head at me. "Well said" he mutters to me. "But Raul isn't going to be pleased not to mention your dad" he adds.

I shrug, "I don't care, he was a fucking asshole" I say and Davis snorts with laughter.

"Yeah he was" he agrees, "and thanks to you, everyone in that room now knows he's an asshole as well".

"Good" I reply.

**(GIDEON)**

I am trying to work, trying to focus but my thoughts keep returning to my daughters at the funeral. I am second guessing myself and questioning my decision not to attend, I hope to god Landon doesn't do anything stupid today. Surely he wouldn't? Surely he has more respect for his son's memory than to make a show of himself today?

I abandon my laptop and leave my study, I pace around the kitchen looking for something to eat, I glance at my watch and as I do so, my phone buzzes.

"Raul" I say by way of greeting, "How did it go?" I ask.

"Badly, you need to get John Flynn on the phone now and possibly arrange for him to be on Skype for when we get back. We are approximately 10 minutes away, perhaps bit more" he says grimly.

"Shit what the hell happened, are they ok?" I ask.

"Physically both fine, erm... Olivia wants to talk to you sir" he says and I hear scuffling as the phone is removed from the hands free device and obviously passed over.

"Daddy" I hear my daughters worried voice.

"Liv what happened?" I demand.

"It was horrible dad, Mr Landon was horrible to Dennie, and she has snapped it's like she has completely broken she just keeps saying don't let him take my baby over and over, she is rocking and I can't get her to acknowledge I am even here, and I'm sorry dad but I had a go at Mr Landon I know I wasn't supposed to but I couldn't help it, but everyone knows now that he's an asshole and I got a round of applause as I left" I shake my head and even though I am beside myself with worry I can't help but smile a little at her words.

"Alright we'll talk about it later" I say, "Just hand the phone back to Raul for me please" I say.

"Ok" she says and I hear the scuffling again.

"I'm right here sir, I have the majority of the service recorded. I was at the back of the room and I recorded everything that was said, up to the point of removing Denise, so I didn't get Olivia's erm... discussion with Landon but Paul has informed me that there are numerous video uploads being sent to the internet, but don't worry I have a team on it to remove them already, but I have asked for any footage of Olivia to be kept and not simply deleted. For what it's worth sir, apparently according to Davis she was pretty awesome and excuse me for saying so sir, but Landon deserved it".

"Thank you Raul" I say and hang up I call John and outline what I know and what I have been told.

"John, how are you?" I ask as he answers.

"I'm very well thank you Gideon, may I ask why you are calling me mid morning on a weekday is there something wrong?" he asks curiously.

I sigh, "We have a situation John, today was Josh's funeral and it appears Ryan Landon couldn't rein it in today of all days and from what I have been told he launched into some sort of public tirade against Denise, he was stopped but from what I've been told it has had a detrimental effect on Denise and I think after yesterday at the prison it was the straw that broke the camel's back by all accounts she's in a bad way" I say.

"I see, when you say in a bad way how do you mean?" John asks seriously.

"I'm not totally sure, but Olivia has just spoken to me they are on their way home now and she said Denise was in the car rocking and not acknowledging her and just saying don't let him take my baby, and she is repeating it over and over" I say.

"Alright, that isn't good. Gideon listen to me it sounds like she has suffered a breakdown of some kind. I take it you want me to treat her?" he says.

"Of course" I say immediately.

"Right well that gives me some logistic issues but nothing we can't overcome. I think I need to fly out to you, so let me arrange that. I don't have any patient's at the moment and if you give me an hour I can rearrange the appointments I have for the rest of day and the week, until I manage to get there keep her comfortable and calm. Try and talk to her and get her to start talking and opening up, but if she doesn't don't worry about it".

"Alright, thank you John, make your way to Sea Tac and I'll have a jet waiting for you to bring you to New York" I say.

"That's very kind of you Gideon, thank you" John replies. We hang up and I call my head of aviation to find out if I have a jet in or around Seattle at the moment, I find out the nearest one is in Nevada and I pause, six fucking planes and not one of them somewhere where I need them. Then it hits me Christian has a plane and it's hopefully right where I need it, so I quickly call my brother.

"Christian I need your help" I say earnestly as he answers.

"Name it" he immediately replies.

"Listen, I need to fly John Flynn to New York as a matter of urgency, he is as we speak rearranging his schedule and making his way to Sea Tac I want a plane waiting for him the closest one I have is currently in Nevada, so can I borrow yours?" I ask.

"Consider it done, what's happened?" he asks.

I quickly outline everything that has happened and he listens carefully. When I have finished he speaks in a cold controlled voice.

"It appears Ryan Landon needs to be taught a lesson once and for all" he says.

"Yes he does, but my priority at the moment is Denise" I say.

"Of course it is, so let me handle Landon" Christian says.

I am a little unnerved by the bite in the tone of his voice.

"Alright, but remember he too is grieving, he may be acting like an asshole but he is a grieving asshole" I say.

"That doesn't give him the right to threaten a young pregnant girl – who let's face it is also grieving" he snaps.

"True" I admit.

"Listen bro, I'm going now I'll call John and arrange the details with him, sit tight till we get there" he says.

"Thank you" I reply and hang up then I realise, that my brother is also coming to New York, at a moment's notice he is dropping everything and flying across the country to help me, and that never ceases to astound me, after all the years where I was completely alone with nobody that all I have to do is pick up the phone and I know my brother will move heaven and earth to be by my side, shoulder to shoulder with me. I stop my daydreaming and think about what I need to do. If Denise is in a bad way she may well need a female figure, I think and text Christian.

_**Bro, I take it you are also coming to NY?**_

His response is immediate.__

_**Yes**_

I quickly send him my next request.

_**Sorry to ask, but can you bring Ana, Denise will probably also need a female?**_

Once again his reply is almost instantaneous.

_**No problem.**_

I pause and then call my dad and fill him in on what's happened and ask him if he will come and help me until John arrives. He promises me he will and he said he will call Ireland and get her to come over as he also figured that Denise will need a female.

"Thanks dad" I say gratefully as he reassures me.

"Try not to worry Gideon, she'll be ok" he says, and then he is gone. I resume pacing around the apartment until I get a text from Raul saying he is pulling into the underground garage now. I quickly head down to meet them. As the doors of the elevator open I come face to face with Olivia and I see the relief on her face as she sees me. She grasps my hand and pulls me in the direction of the car.

"We can't get her out of the car, she won't move, Raul has tried everything to get her out" she says.

As we reach the car, Raul looks up and I see how worried he is.

"How is she?" I ask, and he just shakes his head.

I turn to Olivia, "Listen to me sweetheart, go upstairs with Paul and Davis and wait for us up there ok" I say.

She nods and hugs me while I turn to Raul, "Wait here" I say and he nods and moves away from the car slightly.

I open the door and look inside what I see shreds me. Denise is sitting rocking staring into space her hands on her bump stroking it, she doesn't even notice I am there, she is muttering to herself. I slide into the car and sit beside her.

"Denise" I say quietly, there is no response.

"Denise sweetheart, talk to me" I say again, once again there is no response.

I pause and wonder what to do. I wrap my arms around her and pull her to me, and kiss her head.

"Denise, talk to me sweetheart, tell me what has upset you and let me tell you everything is going to be ok" I say.

There is no response and she just continues to slowly rock back and forth.

"What did Landon say?" I ask.

I feel her stiffen when I mention his name. Ok, that got a reaction, but I don't want to make things worse, but a reaction is a reaction so with more than a little trepidation I pursue this line.

"Did Landon upset you at the funeral?" I ask.

Denise freezes and then slowly nods, ok this is progress... I think.

I hold her tighter, "What did he say that upset you?" I ask.

I feel and hear her starting to breathe heavier, I realise she is remembering what he said and it is distressing her.

"Talk to me" I say again. I am not beneath getting down on my hands and knees and begging her here and I am pleading with her inside my head willing her to just start talking to me, but when she does what she says astounds me and anger surges through me so quickly I have to use all my self control not to react and alarm her.

"It's my fault Josh died" she says quietly.

I can't believe what I am hearing, fucking Landon! "Denise that isn't true and you know that" I say earnestly.

She shakes her head, "he said I manipulated Josh and got pregnant on purpose" she whispers, "I didn't dad, I swear I didn't it was an accident" she says, but she is still staring into space and not looking at me and her voice sounds odd. "But if I hadn't made the mistake I wouldn't have got pregnant and Josh would still be alive" she says.

I shake my head, "No stop this now, look at me Denise and listen to me" I say firmly. She shakes her head and I see her fighting against what she is thinking but then suddenly the dam just breaks.

"He said I took his son away and so he would take mine he said it was a fair trade" she says and then she breaks down and finally turns towards me and clings to me, sobbing her heart out.

"He won't do that I promise you, he won't" I say, I am relieved she has reacted but she is crying hysterically now and John said to keep her calm.

"Denise come on baby girl, let's go inside, we can talk inside and I can reassure you that nothing is going to happen ok?" I say.

She looks up at me, "Ok" she sobs.

I ease myself away from her and make my way around the car and open her door, she reaches for me to help her out and I don't hesitate and I lift her out into my arms. Raul hurries forward with her crutches but I shake my head and he takes a step back. I stride towards the elevator and head back upstairs.

Olivia is sitting in the lobby waiting and as the elevator doors open she scrambles to her feet. She rushes forward and I shake my head at her, she nods at me and turns and heads inside. I walk into the apartment and I pause.

"Where do you want to go sweetheart?" I ask her.

"My room" she says.

I head for her bedroom and carefully sit her on the bed and then sit down beside her. A few moments later there is a knock at the door and Raul appears with her crutches and wordlessly leaves them beside the bed.

Denise looks up and smiles, this gives me hope that she is coming out of whatever happened, and she quietly thanks him.

"Do you want to talk to me?" I ask.

She shakes her head, "I'd like to get changed please" she says quietly.

I nod, "Of course you do, I'll leave you alone and give you some privacy to do that" I say as I stand up.

As I turn to leave I feel her reach for me and I turn back and she is looking up at me.

"Daddy promise me you won't let him take my baby?" she begs.

I crouch in front of her and touch her chin with my finger.

"Listen to me Denise, I will never ever allow that man to take your baby away from you, you have my word on that" I say I watch her she scrutinises my face as I am speaking and then she nods.

"Thank you" she says.

I nod and rise up "Shout me if you want me, if you want to talk or anything just shout me" I say.

She nods and with that I leave the room. Something isn't right, her emotions are all over the place one moment hysterical, the next closed off. I am seriously worried and I am anxious for John and Christian to arrive. Just as I am thinking this, my phone buzzes and I read the text.

_**Everything sorted, leaving Seattle in approx 45 mins ETA NY – 17:50 Seattle time, John will contact you via laptop satellite video link during flight **_

I breathe a sigh of relief then it occurs to me I haven't arranged accommodation for John and I text Christian back.

_**Thanks, will have accommodation details for John shortly.**_

His reply is immediate_**, **__**Don't worry, John will stay with us at our apartment.**_ I smile my brother is a gem.

Olivia is pacing around the sitting room as I walk in. "How is she?" she asks.

"She's ok" I lie, "she is just getting changed" I add.

I sit down on the sofa and pat the seat beside me, "Come and talk to me" I say Olivia looks at me sheepishly. "Don't worry you're not in trouble" I say reassuringly.

She sits down beside me and rests her head against my shoulder and I wrap my arm around her.

"Why don't you tell me what Landon said" I prompt.

She sighs and starts to speak "He was horrible dad. When we first got there, we were greeted by Josh's sister and his mom, and then he came up. Mrs Landon introduced him to me and he said he wanted to speak to Dennie alone, but she said no. She said she'd promised you I had to stay with her and that she had to take care of me. He wasn't happy about that and he smiled but it was kind of a fake smile, you know it didn't get as far as his eyes and he apologised to Dennie for everything he had said before. I could tell it wasn't what he had really wanted to say, but anyway he invited us to sit with them. Mrs Landon said stuff during the service and she invited Dennie to get up and speak, I said she didn't have to but she did, and it was so beautiful dad. I recorded it so you could hear it, I know I probably shouldn't but it was lovely, then I got up and helped her back to her seat. Then he got up and he just laid into her saying she had manipulated Josh and tricked him it was horrible but Mrs Landon got up and told him to stop and told him what he was saying was lies and as she tried to drag him away he said he was going to take Dennie's baby and that was when she broke. Paul and Davis got her out and then Raul took over from Davis who turned back to get me. He begged me not to do anything but I told him I had to… and I kind of laid into Mr Landon and I may have told everyone what Mr Landon previously did, and I also may have said that he was a selfish sad pathetic little man who had no respect for his son's memory, or words to that effect. I think people liked that because when I left I got a round of applause, but I know you said not to say anything but he was horrible dad… so I had to" she says.

Olivia fishes her phone out of her pocket and plays what Denise said about Josh and tears come into my eyes as I listen to her, she is pouring her heart out.

"Ok, I need to talk to Raul about today, but thank you for telling me, and thank you for looking out for your sister. I know I said not to say anything but under the circumstances I will overlook that, you did the right thing" I say. I watch as she sags with relief and smiles widely.

"Thank you daddy" she says happily.

As I stand to go and talk to Raul my father and sister arrive both looking worried.

"Hi" I say relieved that they have arrived.

"Where is she?" my dad asks looking around.

"In her room" I say, "She wanted to be alone, she is getting changed" I add.

My dad glances at Ireland and she nods, "I'm on it" she says and disappears toward the bedroom.

"I'm going to listen to the footage Raul captured I need to see what that fucker said" I say, and my dad nods and follows me into my office.

When the recording comes to an end, I am livid. I am pacing my study and my father is telling me repeatedly to calm down. I haven't felt this angry in a long time, that piece of fucking shit he is going to pay for those words. I grab my phone and text Christian, I don't know if he has taken off yet and I know if he has he probably won't receive it until he lands but I don't care.

_**Have you seen what Landon said? - Do what you want to him, you have carte blanche!**_ I hit send and am surprised when I receive a response quickly indicating he hasn't yet taken off.

_**Understood**_ is the simple reply.

Then Raul shows me some of the internet uploads some have been picked up by news sites and he has pointed them out to me.

"Sir this is a news item which I have pulled it appears I wasn't the only one who was recording the proceedings. I pull the laptop towards me and begin to read. The headline makes me smile.

_PINTSIZE POCKET ROCKET PUBLICLY BLASTS CRAZY MILLIONAIRE!_

_Check this out folks! We have received exclusive footage shot at the funeral of Joshua Landon, son of millionaire businessman Ryan Landon. _

_Things kicked off big time after Joshua's pregnant girlfriend Denise Cross, 16; daughter of billionaire Gideon Cross was invited by Landon's wife to say a few words at the service. Miss Cross who was clearly surprised but composed made her way to address the congregation and spoke movingly of her love for her late boyfriend who it transpires gave his life protecting her and their unborn child in the car accident they were both involved in last week. _

_Miss Cross who was on crutches after breaking her leg in the accident and also had numerous bruises and cuts visible spoke for about two minutes about her love for Joshua Landon and she promised him she would take care of their child, but things took an unexpected and dramatic turn after Miss Cross was helped back to her seat by her younger sister Olivia who had accompanied her. _

_Ryan Landon stood up and proceeded to publicly lambaste Miss Cross until he was stopped by his wife who made it clear the allegations he was making were totally false. We have to wonder what his state of mind is at the moment. Ok the man is grieving for his son, but to alienate the daughter of one of the most powerful businessmen in the world and try and publicly humiliate her isn't going to go down well with the Cross family and my guess is after this performance he can kiss goodbye to having any contact with his grandchild._

_He was given a taste of the Cross wrath by Olivia Cross, 14, who defended her sister admirably. As Denise was led away clearly shaken and upset by Cross security, Olivia stayed and bawled out Landon in a tirade which revealed this isn't the first time Landon has threatened Miss Cross since the death of his son, and as Olivia Cross was eventually led away by a member of Cross's security team, spontaneous applause broke out amongst the congregation, who had also obviously been clearly appalled by Landon's threats._

_I don't know about you folks but here at the New York Nooz we found what he said to her a bit uncomfortable. Repeatedly threatening and bullying a young girl and a young pregnant girl isn't a smart move and we hope that Ryan Landon fixes whatever is going on at the moment. _

_Check out the extensive unedited footage below which shows the brave moving address made by Denise Cross in honour of her boyfriend, and the events which followed including the loyalty of Olivia Cross defending her elder sister._

I click on the link and watch the footage in its entirety, I only had the audio footage from Raul and to actually see what happens makes me even angrier at Landon but prouder of Denise and Olivia.

I look at everyone around the table and they all have similar expressions. I pour over the footage of Olivia defending her sister and I smile proudly, she is a mini Eva in every way. As much as Dennie resembles me Olivia is Eva's clone, her height, stature, features and mannerisms it is quite unnerving at times when I see her and seeing this footage of her standing up to Ryan Landon takes me back to when Eva did exactly the same thing numerous times when she defended me.

I see Raul grinning widely as he watches it. He catches my gaze and shakes his head.

"So that's two out of three who seem to channel Eva at times!" he says.

I nod, "and the fact Liv looks so like Eva gives me a greater sense of déjà-vous" I say.

My father has a proud grin on his face as well; he looks at me and speaks. "You have done such a good job with those girls" he says.


	23. Chapter 23

CHAPTER 23

**(DENISE)**

The blood is rushing in my ears and I don't know what to do, I feel sick and just want the ground to open up and swallow me. I am listening to Ryan Landon once again berate me, he is saying I manipulated Josh and that I got pregnant on purpose. I want to scream out that isn't true I want yell I want to fight back, but my dad said I must not react no matter what he says no matter what lies he utters I must stay calm and I must not react. So I keep saying that to myself. I see Mrs Landon stand up and refute his rant and I am grateful to her for doing so, and I listen to her words.

"Ryan that's enough, just stop it this moment. You know none of what you are saying is true, so stop it now" she turns towards me and she looks embarrassed and so upset, but I don't react. I sit and I build an imaginary wall around me to protect me and my baby from the vile things he said.

I vaguely hear her speaking to me, and I realise that she is apologising for what he is saying I try and focus and I hear what she says, "I'm so sorry Denise he isn't himself at the moment, he is eaten with guilt over what happened and how he destroyed his relationship with his son". I hear her but I don't respond, I don't say anything.

She stops talking as tears are now rolling down her cheeks. I stare at her but still I don't say word. 'Don't react, don't say anything'. 'Don't react, don't say anything'. I keep saying to myself a mantra to stop me falling apart and losing it in front of everyone here.

I now vaguely notice the deathly silence which has fallen on the room which is suddenly interrupted by a familiar kind voice, I hear my sister whisper to me and she places her hand on mine as she does so.

"Come on Dennie do you want to go?" She asks me gently.

I shake my head, "No, I'm here to say goodbye to Josh and that is what I am going to do" I say firmly, he will _not _drive me away. I watch as Mrs Landon tries to lead Ryan Landon away, but he's not having any of it and he grips the podium.

"NO!" he yells. "She killed my son, if he hadn't met her he would be alive now, she took my son away from me, she is now taking my grandson away from me" he screams at me. He turns to me and point his finger at me, "you took my son away from me so I will take yours - a fair trade!" he shouts and then laughs as he is finally bundled away to his seat.

I go cold at his words; no he can't do that, he can't take my baby. Panic courses through me and all I can think of is he can't take my baby. I want to scream and shout and bawl him out but nothing will come out. I vaguely realise I am being led away. Paul is talking to me telling me it will be ok and then I notice Davis… but he should be with Liv? Then I see Raul I look at him and he wraps his arm around me and I'm relieved to see Davis heading back for Liv.

"Come on Denise lets get you home" Raul says gently to me.

"Don't let him take my baby" I say it's all I am thinking at the moment and I don't realise I have said it out loud until I hear Raul answer me.

"We won't, you are safe Denise and your baby is safe, he will have to get through your father, your family and us and that aint going to happen, come on lets go home" he says.

"Don't let him take my baby" I say it again just to make sure, just so they know. They need to know this man can't do this to us. I find myself at the car and I climb in. I feel my baby moving and kicking and I rub my bump, my son. He's here, he's alive he's safe at the moment; while he is inside me he is safe. I wrap my arms around myself and start to rock myself to try and calm down, he can't take my baby don't let him take my baby. Landon's words circle around in my head. '_You took my son away from me so I will take yours - a fair trade!_' I shake my head, no it's not! Panic surges through me again and I look up at Raul, he is sitting in the driver's seat and Paul is beside him, he sees me looking and turns to face me.

"What is it?" he asks me gently.

"Don't let him take my baby" I say.

He smiles at me, "We won't" he says.

I notice the car door open and Liv slides in beside me she reaches for me but I don't react. I need to protect myself I wrap my arms around myself even tighter. I hear her talking to me but I don't reply, she is telling me she spoke to Ryan Landon, shit, dad said not to react but I hear her say everyone was clapping. Clapping? Why were they clapping and who? Were they clapping Landon? I hear Davis talking to Raul and I hear him say Liv was magnificent, I hear him say everyone was clapping her, but I don't respond I just want to get home now, out of these clothes and I just want to be safe where Landon can't get me.

"Denise we're home".

I hear Liv speak and I look up panic seizes me, what if Landon came here? What if he followed us? I can't face him again, I ignore her and just sit I'm safe here he can't take my baby away. I hear Raul try and persuade me to get out; he asks me if he should fetch my dad. Daddy, he will know what to do, but I keep playing Landon's words over and over in my brain and as I sit there it hits me with the force of a wrecking ball… he is right. If it wasn't for me Josh would still be alive. I think about it, consider everything that has happened if I hadn't been so stupid as to get pregnant, Josh would still have a relationship with his dad and he would still be living at home. He wouldn't have been in the car and Mike Foster would have had no reason to drive into us. It is all down to me and my stupidity and Landon wants to make me pay for that stupidity he wants to make me pay by taking away my son, it's no more than I deserve but I can't let him take my son away.

I hear the car door open and someone climbs in, I smell the familiar body wash, the smell I have known all my life the smell which comforts me and makes me feel safe, secure and loved its the smell of my daddy, he's here.

"Denise" I hear him say quietly, I want to answer him but I just can't.

"Denise sweetheart, talk to me" he says again. I keep playing Landon's words over and over and I can't face the truth so I stay silent.

I feel my father move closer and wrap his arms around me and pull me close he kisses my head a gesture he has done so many times over the years.

"Denise, talk to me sweetheart, tell me what has upset you and let me tell you everything is going to be ok" he says.

No daddy you can't make this better, it's my fault everything is my fault and you can't make that better.

"What did Landon say?" he asks.

I stiffen at the mention of his name, his words shouting at me inside my head.

"Did Landon upset you at the funeral?" my father pushes.

Yes he did, I feel myself nod in reply but I don't say anything.

I feel my dad hold me tighter, "What did he say that upset you?" he asks me after a slight pause.

Landon's words get louder and I can't make it stop. I start to hyperventilate, stop please stop shut up, I don't want to hear it anymore.

"Talk to me" my dad says again. I realise to make it stop I have to acknowledge the truth, I have to say the words so very quietly I do so.

"It's my fault Josh died" I say quietly.

"Denise that isn't true and you know that" my dad exclaims loudly.

It is daddy it really is, I shake my head and start to tell him "he said I manipulated Josh and got pregnant on purpose" I say, I know I didn't do that so I need my dad to know that part isn't true, "I didn't dad, I swear I didn't it was an accident" I say. "But if I hadn't made the mistake I wouldn't have got pregnant and Josh would still be alive" I add, there I've done it I've admitted my guilt.

"No stop this now, look at me Denise and listen to me" my dad says firmly. I shake my head, he is defending me, I shouldn't be defended it's my fault I killed Josh. That realisation overwhelms me and I burst into tears and I continue to speak to make him realise the truth.

"He said I took his son away and so he would take mine he said it was a fair trade" I say and that thought terrifies me and I turn to my father's chest and I cry almost hysterically, it's my fault and now my baby is going to pay for it.

"He won't do that I promise you, he won't" my dad says we sit for a few moments and then he speaks again. "Denise come on baby girl, let's go inside. We can talk inside and I can reassure you that nothing is going to happen ok?" he says.

I look up at him, I do want to go inside "OK" I say.

We reach my bedroom and I just want to be alone, my dad asks me what I want to do if I want to talk but I don't, I just want to be alone. I need to figure out what I need to do, I tell him I want to get changed and he nods and leaves me to do so. I reach for my crutches which Raul has just brought me and head to my closet I pull out a pair of leggings and a long top and get changed. I push my good foot into a flat soft indoor shoe and sit down on the bed; I need to work things out. I have no idea where to start, I look at the photographs of me and Josh on my cabinet and a deep sadness almost chokes me, it takes my breath and I lie down on the bed I fling an arm over my eyes and rest my other on my bump. I have no idea how long I just lie there like that when there is a knock at the door. I realise my dad must be back and I call come in.

"Hi" I look up in surprise at the female voice greeting me.

"Aunty Ireland what are you doing here?" I ask in confusion.

"I came to see how you are, may I sit down?" she asks, I nod and she sits down beside me.

"But?" I begin.

"Gideon called dad and told him about what had happened at the funeral and dad called me, so I came to see how you are" she explains.

"Is granddad here too?" I ask.

She nods at me, "He is, he is talking with your dad at the moment" she says.

She lies down beside me, "come on talk to me tell me what you are thinking?" she coaxes.

I shake my head, "I just want to be alone really" I say, "Nothing personal, I just need to get my head around everything" I say.

"Ok" she says and she sits up, "if you are sure" she adds.

I nod, "I am, thank you for coming but I just want to be alone" I say.

I feel her run her hand down my arm and squeeze my hand gently and then she gets up and walks out of the room.

I don't know what to do with myself I feel antsy, my mind is going a mile a minute everything that has happened is playing on a constant loop and I feel like I'm going insane. I want it to stop, but it won't and I realise this must be my punishment for everything I have caused. I want to scream and shout I want to hit someone until they feel as bad as I do. I absently run my fingers on the cuts on my arm from the accident and I start to pick at the scabs, I get my nail underneath one of the scabs and I pull it off, it feels... satisfying, I find another and then another, I scratch at them all until my arm is no longer full of healing scabs but raw cuts again. It felt good doing that, that moment of pain when the scab pulled away from the skin it was like a release valve, I remember how I felt that day when I pressed the broken picture frame into my finger tips after Jenny had died and the momentarily feeling of I don't know... release. I wander into the bathroom and I look inside the bathroom cabinet I find a pair of nail scissors but quickly discard them the ends are blunt then I spot some razor blades, I reach for one and my heart is pounding. I stare at it; I just want that feeling, that feeling almost like a release valve to rid me of the thoughts and the guilt. With shaking fingers I press the razor blade to my arm somewhere deep inside my mind I know this is wrong, this is stupid but I just want that pain, I just want that release. No! I throw the razor blade back in the cupboard I am out of my mind I must be to be even consider doing such a thing, I look once again at the cuts I have picked at and I slide on a cardigan to hide the rawness. I need to get out of here and find my dad, be with someone. I'm scared of the direction my thoughts are heading at this moment, it can't be normal to want to cut my arm with a razor blade? I head out of my room and go in search of my family.

I sit quietly in the sitting room, everyone is talking and chatting. They are including me in their talk so I answer politely when I am spoken to directly but I don't make any effort to actually start a conversation. My dad's laptop pings he glances down and smiles. I see him tap something and then speak.

"John!" he says.

I hear the voice of John Flynn and I am curious, I look over to my dad and listen in.

"Gideon, we have made excellent time, our ETA is now 7:30 this evening New York time" the disembodied voice of john Flynn says.

I look at my watch; it is now nearly 6:15 I wait to find out what my dad says and does.

He suggests that we all go out for a meal or something and I hear John agree then my father says we will be there to meet him at the airport. There is a flurry of activity after that, my dad is calling Raul I sit and watch with a kind of detached interest. I wonder why John Flynn is coming here, and then it hits me, it's for me after what happened today, my dad has asked him to come to New York to help me. I'm not sure how I feel about that if I am honest, perhaps it will help. I will be able to rid myself of these thoughts and feelings I am having.

"Denise?" I hear my dad's voice and look up at him.

"What? Sorry did you say something?" I ask.

My dad smiles at me, "I said I'm going with Raul to meet John at the airport, do you want to come or stay here with your grandfather and aunt?" He asks.

I shrug, "I'll stay here its less hassle that way, with my crutches and everything" I say.

My dad nods and disappears from the apartment with Raul.

A while later I hear voices. The voices are familiar and I look up. I see my dad is back and he is flanked by John Flynn and also to my surprise I see Uncle Christian and Aunt Ana. I stare at them in silence. Zoe has heard them and launched herself at them and I see my uncle laughing as he catches her. I watch Liv walk over and receive a hug but I still don't move. As Liv and Zoe move away I watch my grandfather and Aunt Ireland greet them, before saying goodbye.

"You don't have to go on our account" Uncle Christian says.

They both assure him they were planning on going anyway, they both hug my dad and then turn and say good bye to me, I smile and wave but don't say anything.

My uncle looks carefully at me and then he holds open his arms, "Don't I get a hug?" he asks me with a grin.

I struggle to my feet and make my way slowly over to him on my crutches, "What are you doing here?" I ask.

"Well that's nice I must say, I fly out from Seattle to see you and that's the welcome I get!" he says. I immediately feel bad for saying it and it must show on my face, because he tips up my head with his finger.

"Hey, I'm joking!" he says. He looks at me carefully. "Your dad asked John to fly out and have a talk with you in person rather than over Skype after the stuff which happened this morning, and I have some business I need to take care of here in New York so I decided to tag along and when your aunt heard I was coming she asked if she could come too, so here we are" he says.

I look over his shoulder at Aunt Ana who is smiling kindly at me, and I feel suddenly tearful I release myself from my uncle's arms and move to Ana she gives me warm hug, so different from the strong heavy muscular arms of my uncle, but no less comforting. I look up at John Flynn.

"So you came to sort me out?" I say quietly.

John smiles at me, "When you are ready to talk we will talk" he says. I nod I feel so ashamed by my meltdown today and the episode this afternoon with the razor blade, my hand unconsciously touches my arm that I picked at, then I hear Ryan Landon's voice again and what he said to me. I want to talk now, but hell the poor man has just stepped off the damn plane how selfish am I so I nod and silently follow everyone out as we head to a restaurant for dinner.

I have noticed my Uncle and dad in deep conversation and my uncle looking intently at his phone several times during the dinner. I see a satisfied smile on his face a number of times and watch carefully, it must be something to do with the business he has to do while he is out here, I realise it's probably some company he is trying to take over. I dismiss the thoughts and concentrate on the starter in front of me, I'm not really hungry but I know I have to eat for the baby and I look up and I see my dad staring at me so I make the effort, after pushing the food around my plate for a while. I don't participate in the conversation going on around me, I just want to go home and go to my room if I am honest.

We are just receiving our main meals when I see him. I freeze completely my eyes are fixed on the family who have just arrived. My dad sees my expression and turning his head he follows my gaze, and when he sees Ryan Landon and his family his expression darkens. He whispers in my uncle's ear and his head immediately whips around to the entrance. I watch my dad's hands form into fists and my uncle is whispering furiously to him. Then Landon spots us and starts to make his way over. I see Raul and two other security team members appear and intercept him, speaking quietly but firmly to him. I see my Uncle and father glaring at Landon and he looks at them and it is enough for him to reconsider coming over, I watch as Mrs Landon appears and tugs on his sleeve and he nods and turns away. I feel relief that there hasn't been a scene. I turn my attention to John who is watching me with concern, why? Then I realise why, I have my knife pressed against my knee and I am repeatedly jabbing the sharp tip into my flesh. I gasp in shock and drop the knife which draws everyone's attention to me I hurriedly cover my abused knee.

"Sorry, I dropped my knife" I mutter.

Another knife is brought and I put my head down in embarrassment avoiding eye contact with everyone. Thankfully John doesn't say anything about what he saw me do, and my dad and uncle are more than preoccupied with Landon's arrival. We finish our dinner in peace, but all I want to do is go home, Landon's words are invading my mind again and are screaming at me even louder now I have seen him again. I can't stand it. We finish our main meal and as my father asks if anyone wants desert I speak up.

"Dad, can we just go" I ask.

Everyone turns their attention to me and I realise this is the first time I have intentionally spoken first all evening.

My dad nods silently and motions to a waiter and gets the bill.

**(GIDEON)**

"Hey good to see you John and thank you for flying out at such short notice" I shake the hand of the English therapist and he looks at me kindly.

"No problem at all" he says.

"Gideon!" I turn at the call and see my brother bounding down the steps of the plane towards me. I embrace him warmly, he looks excited and as I slap his shoulder affectionately he whispers in my ear.

"Landon is going down, everything is place and it has come together so well" he says.

"Good to know" I reply and move away to greet Ana.

Raul and Taylor drop off the luggage at Christian's apartment and then we head to ours to collect everyone else so we can go out to dinner. Denise looks surprised to see my brother and he teases her about his presence in New York. I am worried about her, since this morning it's almost like she isn't here, she is in body but her mind is somewhere else she has barely spoken and retreated so far inside herself that I wonder what is going on. Ireland told me to give her space and time but something tells me there is more going on and I am missing something.

We are in the restaurant and my brother's phone pings. I see him look at it and smile, he leans towards me "Everything is going according to plan, Landon will not know what has hit him" he says.

"Good, I want that fucker to pay" I say coldly.

Dinner progresses and I am noticing Denise is pushing her food around her plate and not really eating anything, she sees me looking at her and begins to actually eat then suddenly I see her freeze her eyes fixed on the entrance behind me. I turn and see the reason, Landon and his family are waiting to be seated, I lean towards Christian.

"Well look who has just arrived" I say and my brother glances up and looks towards the entrance.

"Don't react, Raul won't let him anywhere near us, if he starts anything don't react to it" he says.

I nod and can't help seeing the irony in his words, as my brother is the biggest over reactor there is and here he is telling me to stay calm. Sure enough as soon as he sees us he makes a beeline for us and is stopped by my team. I see Janice come and pull him away as well and she gives me an apologetic look as she does so.

After dinner we all head back to our apartment, John wants to talk to Denise alone and I know Christian is itching to tell me what he has done in his mission to destroy Landon.

I watch Denise and John disappear into my study, Ana is with Liv and Zoe leaving me alone with Christian in the kitchen.

"Ok come on spill, I know you are dying to tell me what you've done" I say.

I watch my brother throw his head back a laugh loudly, "I astound myself with my own brilliance sometimes" he says.

I stare at him and snort with laughter, "modest too and not the slightest bit arrogant" I say dryly

Christian reaches for his phone and the laptop bag he left here earlier, he pulls out the laptop and a couple of files of papers he had with it and places them on the counter.

"This is something I have been working on for a while actually" he says seriously.

I watch him tapping and then he spins the laptop round and points triumphantly at the screen.

I stare at the screen and my jaw drops, I can't believe what I am seeing.

"What?! Wait does this mean what I think it means?" I ask.

Christian shrugs, "What do you think it means?" he asks innocently.

"That you have controlling interest in LanCorp" I say quietly.

My brother shakes his head, "Close but no cigar, _you_ have controlling interest in LanCorp!" he says.

I stare at the screen and then at my brother as he begins to explain.

"Do you remember years ago back when you first told me about Landon and his vendetta against you because of what Geoffrey Cross did, it was soon after we first discovered we were brothers and he had a had a poke at you over something. I think we went public shortly afterwards. Well I made a decision there and then to help you put him in his place once and for all, and since then over the years I have been buying up stocks and shares in LanCorp as they have become available, but I've not done anything about it as he seemed to stop being a nuisance after it all came out about who our father was. But when Landon started again recently and was focussing on Denise I got Ros to aggressively pursue LanCorp and buy up everything that came available and when Bernard Morris sold off his substantial interest in LanCorp, I was quick to exploit that and bought them. Plus I may have persuaded other smaller investors to sell me their shares as well. That call I got during dinner was confirmation from Ros that Russell Martin has caved to my very generous offer and sold me his shares in LanCorp. Now considering he was the second largest investor after Landon himself on top of what I have already amassed over the years, you my friend now have the power to take his company from under him. He was distracted for a long while and not paying attention to his company, when he was consumed with his fight against Microsoft which I took complete advantage of and during that time I took a very large chunk of his company from under his nose. Winning his lawsuit against Microsoft made him conceited and complacent he believes he is bullet proof, and yet I have been eating away at his company all along, but recently I upped my game and have gone in for the kill". Christian says as he grins smugly at me and I am totally speechless and all I can do is stare stupidly at my brother.

"But how? Surely when he has had AGM's and shareholders meetings, he would have known straight away you were gaining a foothold within his company?" I ask.

Christian shakes his head, "No because I have been buying them up carefully and slowly over such a long period of time, I mean we are talking over a decade so I haven't created any waves or given cause for concern by making it look like a hostile takeover, plus they have all been bought by and spread around my subsidiary companies so he has been none the wiser, and I have been sending representatives to the meetings where shareholders and board members needed to be present but today I have consolidated all the shares in LanCorp I own and they are now ready to be sold to Cross Industries" he says.

"And how much do I need to pay for these shares?" I ask.

"Bro, if I could I would gift them to you, this isn't about the money" Christian says earnestly.

"So you are saying a nominal fee?" I say.

Christian nods, "I did this for you, I have been working on this for years for you I saw what that bastard was like and how despite his claims that he has backed off since he discovered that you weren't Geoffrey Cross's son he has still been pursuing his vendetta and now after what he has done to my niece I believe it is the right time to go for the kill and show him what revenge really is" he says coldly.

"I don't know what to say" I say as I stare at the screen.

"Just give the word and the shares will be consolidated into Cross Industries" Christian says.

I nod firmly, "Do it!" I say, I reach for my phone and make the necessary calls and we work quickly to bring down Landon. The Tokyo stock exchange is open and trading and Christian moves the shares to his Japanese holdings where I quickly scoop them up and consolidate them into Cross Industries, I shake my brother's hand warmly as confirmation of the transaction is given.

"Pleasure doing business with you" I say.

"Trust me bro the pleasure was all mine" he replies, "and the beauty of this is he will have no idea until tomorrow morning when the New York Stock exchange opens" he adds with a grin.

I smile, "I am going to bring that fucker down, and my starting point is the PhaseOne system, he developed that to compete with my GenTen, and to try and undercut me so it will give me great pleasure in removing that from the arena. Out of interest if I have controlling interest I could in theory fire the remaining board and asset strip him and leave him with nothing" I say.

Christian grins at me, "I was hoping you would come to that conclusion, I was prepared to plant that idea in your head should it not have already been there" he says.

"I guess that is my morning tomorrow sorted then" I say. "That fucker won't know what's hit him" I add smugly.

"Gideon" I turn and see John Flynn has appeared in the kitchen he looks worried as he steps closer.

"John, how did it go with Denise?" I ask looking at him carefully.

"I need to speak with you urgently" John says, I glance at Christian who nods.

"Go ahead bro, I think we're finished here" he says, "I'll take this opportunity to go and have a chat with Denise myself" he says and leaves us to talk.

"So what's the verdict John?" I ask I wonder briefly how much he is going to say, with constraints of patient confidentiality.

"Denise has given me permission to discuss everything we talked about, and I won't lie to you Gideon I am very worried about her. That girl has dealt with more in these past few years than some adults deal with in a lifetime, and it has taken its toll. It is my professional opinion that she is suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder after the death of her friend and the accident, on top of depression and anxiety which I believe began after Eva's death. The issues she has encountered with Ryan Landon have just been the icing on the cake not the cause, she has some deep rooted problems and I am tempted to recommend she receives one to one psychiatric counselling possibly away from the family" he stops and looks at me.

I shake my head, "No way John I'm not having her fucking committed" I snap.

"No Gideon I am not suggesting you do, but she has made some admissions tonight which raise some serious red flags... did you know she was self harming?" he asks me.

I go cold, "What?!" I gasp.

He nods, and puts up his hand as I feel myself losing control. "Nothing serious as yet, she has managed to stop herself before she does serious harm to herself and it has only happened on a couple of occasions" he says.

"When?" I ask, I am gripping the work surface to avoid falling over.

"When her friend died, she admitted she deliberately broke a picture frame and when she was cleaning up the mess she said it felt good when she cut her fingers and she said contemplated deliberately cutting them more, but she didn't she stopped herself. She hasn't done anything similar since until today, she said she took a razor blade from the bathroom cabinet and contemplated cutting her arms, but she stopped herself and instead she turned her attention the wounds she already had from the accident on her arms and pulled all the scabs off and made them bleed again. She believes that she is responsible for Josh's death and won't be persuaded from that belief. It is my recommendation that if she is to be treated within the home, she is not to be left alone for long periods as I believe she will self harm again and it could escalate. It is also my recommendation that she isn't to have any contact with Ryan Landon he was the catalyst which pushed her over the edge and if he is allowed any further access I believe he could prove extremely damaging to her. I would also add I think it would be prudent to keep her away from the rest of the Landon family, admittedly they have been supportive towards her but the overwhelming negativity from Ryan Landon would spill over should she have communication with other members of his family. I really would suggest some sort of intensive counselling therapy. I will start the ball rolling on that therapy while I am here but I'd recommend someone with more experience with teenagers".

I feel gutted how did I not see this? I knew something wasn't right but I didn't push it, and I should have. I think about everything John has just said and an idea starts to form in my mind.

"Travis Johnson" I say out loud John looks at me in surprise.

I turn to him, "Dr Travis Johnson, he helped Eva when she was a troubled teenager back in California. I haven't seen him for years, but he is one of the therapists I have on staff at my San Diego Ella's Lodge. Eva had enormous faith in him and told me many times that if it wasn't for him she wouldn't have gotten through what she did". An idea starts forming in my mind, Eva's father Victor has had the girls stay with him for short periods on visits occasionally, and he mentioned at thanksgiving and Christmas how it had been a long while since one of these visits. Plus with the shit that is going to go down in the next few days when Landon realises what Christian and I have done to him I need Denise to be out of the way so she doesn't get caught up in it.

I voice my idea to John and he nods, "It sounds a solid idea, Denise is with family and I have to admit I know of Dr Travis Johnson by reputation he is an excellent person to have on board, would Denise be supervised whilst at her grandfathers home?" he asks.

I pause, damn it, Victor is a cop and works long shifts, I put this to John who winces, "Not ideal" he says.

"What if I send her with security? Send her with Paul?" I ask.

John considers this, "Is she close to Paul?" he asks.

I nod, "She trusts him and co-operates with him, and from the briefings I have had from Raul she does confide in him on occasions" I say.

I reach for my phone and reach out to Victor, to run the idea past him and I tell him of everything that has happened. He doesn't hesitate and immediately offers to take Denise and Paul for a break, I explain the details how I want to get her involved with Dr Travis and he has nothing but praise for the man and tells me how he helped Eva all those years ago. I explain that I haven't asked Denise about any of this yet and how I will get back to him after I have spoken to her. He reassures me that everything will be alright and that he will do everything he possibly can help. I am touched by his concern and I thank him sincerely. I have always liked Victor and respected his opinion. I know he wasn't too keen on me to start with when I first met Eva but I changed his opinion of me and I believe that we have a mutual respect for each other. After I hang up I head to find Denise to put my idea to her.

I walk into the sitting room and see Denise on the sofa chatting with Christian, Ana and Liv are chatting and everyone turns to look at me as I enter the room.

"Where's Zoe?" I ask.

"Gone to bed" Liv says, "she was beat after the excitement of seeing Uncle Christian and Aunt Ana again and then after the meal she just seemed to crash" she explains.

I nod and sit down quietly on the sofa I look at my two elder daughters. I am infinitely proud of both of them, I don't know what I would have done if I hadn't had them and Zoe after Eva died, I dread to think what would have happened to me, they are my world and the idea that Denise is struggling so desperately at the moment kills me. I want to take her pain away and make everything right, I know of course that is impossible. She is suffering the pain of loss, a pain I know only too well. I resolve to help her the best way I can to stop any more destructive habits forming; Liv suddenly announces that she is tired and going to turn in. She hugs Ana and Christian and then pats Denise on the shoulder before coming to me and kissing my cheek, she politely says goodnight to John who has also joined us and I watch her leave the room.

There is an awkward silence after she has gone until Denise suddenly speaks.

"So are we going to acknowledge the elephant in the room?" she asks sarcastically, everyone turns to look at her and John leans forward.

"Do you really want to do this Denise?" he asks gently, she looks at him and nods.

"Yes" she says, and she turns to me, "Dad I need to get out of New York. John said it's not doing me any good having Ryan Landon constantly chipping away at me, and I need to separate myself from it for a short while" she says.

I smile and nod, "I quite agree sweetheart, I have been talking to your grandfather and he would love you to go and stay with him for a while in California" I say carefully.

I watch as Denise's face lights up, "I'd love to see Granddad Victor again!" she says, she turns to Christian, "Last time Liv and I went to stay he took us on a tour of his precinct and we met his boss it was so cool, and we met his partner" she gushes.

I know immediately that this is the right idea, I see Christian and Ana make a move.

"We'll let you get some rest it's been a long day, we'll see you in the morning" Christian gives me a pointed look and I know that he is referring to the shit storm that will rain down on Landon. I nod and I walk with John, Christian and Ana to the door.

"I suggested Victor because, John told me some things which I don't really want to discuss at this moment until I have spoken to Denise which make me realise she needs some specific professional help and my first thought was for Dr Travis in San Diego. Do you remember him? He helped Eva when she was a troubled teen?" I say.

Christian nods, "Yes I remember, listen bro you don't have to justify anything, yes I would gladly have taken Denise back to Seattle and have her stay with us, but I can see the reasons behind you opting for Victor and besides he doesn't get to see his grandchildren that often" he says amiably. I hug my brother tightly.

"I knew you would understand" I say. I thank them all for dropping everything and coming out to New York and I hold on to Christians hand tightly as I shake it. "Thanks for everything" I say and l look meaningfully at him. He smiles and simply nods at me.

When they have gone I return to the sitting room and Denise looks up at me sadness in her eyes not to mention a little wariness. I sit down beside her and wrap my arm around her.

"Why didn't you talk to me and tell me you were struggling so badly?" I ask.

She shakes her head, "Until I talked it all through with John and he explained everything I was thinking and had done, it all seemed perfectly logical and normal. I didn't realise I was doing anything wrong or strange" she says and then she pauses, "I'm so sorry dad, I have brought you so much hassle and worry and you don't deserve it… and now this" she pushes up her skirt and I see a few cuts on her knee.

"When did you do that?" I ask, I quickly go through what John told me and I don't recall him mentioning this.

"At the restaurant, when I dropped my knife. What I didn't say was that when I saw Landon I freaked and started jabbing my knife into my knee, I didn't even know I was doing it until I saw John watching me, as soon as I realised what I was doing I stopped and threw my knife on the floor" she says. I see the embarrassment and shame consume her as she tells me.

"Don't, Denise you have nothing to be ashamed of, you are not well at the moment and I will do everything in my power to help make you strong again" I say.

I pause and then approach the idea of meeting Dr Travis, "Denise when your mom was a teenager she had troubles and issues from what she went through" I say.

"You mean when she was raped?" Denise says and I nod.

"Well she started seeing a Dr Travis Johnson in San Diego, and I was wondering if… while you are out staying with your grandfather if you would like to meet him and see if he can do anything to help you, he works closely with me at my San Diego Ella's Lodge so if you wanted to do that I could arrange it for you?" I stop and wait for her to think about it.

"Yeah, I think I'd like that" she says, she rests her head against me, "I just want to be normal again dad" she says sadly.

I shake my head, "Denise, there is no such thing as normal, it is subjective, what one person considers normal would be weird to another but you are ill at the moment and we are trying to help you get well" I say.

"Thanks dad" she says.

"By the way, Ryan Landon won't be in a position to call any shots shortly" I say smugly.

She sits up straight as I say this and she looks up at me suspiciously, "What did you do dad?" she asks.

I shake my head and hold up my hands, "Not me, your uncle, I have discovered today that Christian has a very vindictive streak. Ever since he discovered he was my brother and got his first taste of Landon's games shortly afterwards, he has been plotting his demise" I say with a grin.

"What did he do?" she asks, she sits up a little straighter and I see her taking a genuine interest in what I am going to say.

"Over the years he has been buying stock in LanCorp, he has ramped that up recently since Landon has been making a nuisance of himself and in the past few days has managed to acquire shares from a major board member and with what he has already accumulated it has resulted in him having controlling interest in LanCorp, and he has sold them all to me, so simply speaking I own Landon's ass" I say.

I watch as Denise processes this information and a huge smile crosses her lips and then she starts to giggle and then she laughs.

"Shit dad, he will lose it completely, what are you going to do now you own his ass? Are you going to ruin him?" she asks.

I shrug, "I've not decided yet, I am going to asset strip his PhaseOne gaming system, that's a given. I mean that thing has been a thorn in my side for years, but I might play with him for a while before I finally finish him, savour the moment where he realises I own him" I say.

I watch as an evil grin spreads across her lips and she thinks for a moment, "God what I'd give to be a fly on the wall tomorrow when he realises what you've done" she says and then her smile fades and she looks straight at me, "and it's no more than he deserves" she adds coldly.


	24. Chapter 24

CHAPTER 24

The next morning I wake up after a fretful night, I am worried sick about Denise, but after thinking about it logically I think this will be the best option. I will miss her if she goes to California but I don't intend on just dumping her with her grandfather and leaving her, I will be in constant touch with her. My thoughts turn to the other matter – Landon. I have to say after all these years to finally end this situation between us gives me a great deal of pleasure. Christian is arriving this morning and we are going to go to the LanCorp's offices and make a nuisance of ourselves. The thought of that makes me smile.

I have no sympathy for Landon for what we are going to do to him today; he deserves everything he is going to get. However, I do feel a pang of guilt for Janice and his children, as they don't deserve the fallout from the shit storm that is inevitably going to rain down on him. I get up, shower and get dressed.

My brother arrives as we are finishing breakfast; Zoe and Olivia are just leaving for school and give Christian and Ana a hug as they pass them on their way out. Ana is going to be staying with Denise and we are told John will be arriving soon for another session. Christian and I head to my study to discuss how we are going to handle today for maximum impact. We are about to start when there is a knock on the door.

"Come in" I call.

The door opens and Denise stands there, she looks worried and so immediately my attention is fixed on her and her alone.

"What's wrong?" I ask striding towards her.

"Dad I've been thinking about something and I need you to be honest with me" she says.

"Go on" I say.

"Mrs Landon and Josh's sisters" she says quietly.

I pause and glance at Christian who smiles reassuringly at her.

"What about them?" I ask.

"They will be affected by the fallout when you ruin Landon its inevitable, and they don't deserve it" she says.

"Denise – you didn't deserve what Landon has done to you" Christian says sharply, "But that didn't stop him" he adds.

Denise shoots Christian a filthy look "That doesn't mean you have to be like him, be better than him. You and dad are better men than he will ever be so why stoop his level?" she says. I wrap my arms around her and realise there is no valid argument to that.

"We will ensure that they are taken care of" Christian says suddenly, "but we are going ahead with our plans for today" he adds.

I watch Denise think about this, and then slowly nod. "Ok, I can live with that" she says.

I watch her reaction closely, as the last thing I need is for her to feel any further guilt. "Denise you have my word, I won't allow Janice and Landon's children to suffer for his sins, don't forget I saw firsthand what a financial meltdown does to a family when I was child" I say firmly as I recall that time in my life when Geoffrey Cross's sins all came home to roost. She looks up at me and smiles and I see the worry disappear from her eyes.

"Thank you dad" she says, and then she gives a slight wry smile. "I'd really love to see his face today when you march into his office and take over" she says and as she thinks about it she lets out a small snort of laughter.

I hear Christian laugh, "I'll be sure to capture the moment for you" he says.

After Denise leaves the room I turn to Christian, "We do need to take care of Janice and his children, as I don't want Denise feeling any further unfounded guilt" I say.

Christian nods, "Don't worry I have already made preparations for them, I may want to see Landon crash and burn but I'm not a complete monster, his family will be provided for".

As we go to head out John Flynn arrives and I watch as he joins Ana and Denise on the sofa making small talk. Denise looks up and meets my gaze.

"Go get him!" she says with a small grin, I see John look questioningly at me and then Denise before sitting down.

I nod and leave shoulder to shoulder with my brother.

We arrive at the LanCorp offices, Taylor and Raul are both grinning from ear to ear, they have seen what Landon's games have done to Denise and so they are also itching to do this, I glance at Christian.

"Ready?" he asks looking carefully at me.

I nod, "Let's do it" I say.

We stroll into the building and immediately are confronted by security informing us we need to sign in. I smile and do as they ask, we are asked if we have an appointment and I raise my eyebrows.

"I'm sorry I am Gideon Cross, the new owner of LanCorp and as such I wasn't aware I _needed _an appointment" I say mildly.

The security guard looks confused and immediately rings up to Landon's office, relaying this information to Landon's assistant.

Christian looks at his watch, "five, four, three, two, one..." he says and a moment later we can clearly hear Landon's voice screaming down the phone and the security guard goes deathly pale, I smile.

"We'll just head on up" I say to the security guard who is staring at me.

By the time we reach the executive level everyone appears to be aware of our presence and there is a flurry of panicked activity as we make our way towards Landon's office. He is on the phone when we arrive and we open the door and stride in without pausing.

"HE DID WHAT?! ...FUCK!" He has his hand on his head and he is rapidly losing total control. Christian's words from earlier about capturing the moment come into my mind and I quickly pull out my phone and snap a quick photograph of him.

He looks up and the hatred in his eyes as he sees us is total. I smile at him and glance around his office, and I have to say I'm not impressed.

I watch as he drops the phone down, he looks shattered as if he cannot believe what is happening.

"What the fuck have you done?" he growls.

I smile again, "Taken your company from underneath your nose without you even noticing" I say, I make a point of looking carefully at the office.

"I must say your office is much smaller than I thought it would be, never mind I can work with this, I can't say I like your taste in office furnishings they will really have to go" I say. I point at the hideous desk "I mean damn" I say as I remember and use Denise's derisive comment when she was talking to Sybil. I know I am goading him but I can't help it. I hear both Taylor and Raul stifling laughter.

"You fucking bastard" he growls.

I snort, "Is that the best you can do?" I say dryly. Landon glances at Christian who is just watching impassively.

"Why are you here?" Landon asks him.

Christian takes a step forward, "Just supporting my brother, you see I took exception to the way you have hounded him all these years and when you dragged his innocent daughter into your twisted plot that kind of pushed me over the edge. I take care of my family and ever since I found out I was Gideon's brother I have been working on this, because I thought it was wrong the way you kept bugging him in your sad and desperate attempts for revenge. So it was me who bought up all the available stock in your company, nice and slowly over the past decade so you didn't even notice me doing it, and it was me who approached major share holders and persuaded them to sell to me, and for about twenty minutes last night I owned your sorry ass. But I thought to myself I don't need LanCorp, it's not the area of business I tend to utilise, gaming and entertainment although very lucrative just doesn't interest me, but then I thought of my brother. I thought I'm sure Gideon would have an interest in this area, considering his entire portfolio is centred on the leisure industry so I thought perhaps he would be interested in this company. So last night I sold him my majority share of LanCorp, and now we have come to see exactly what we have bought, I mean Gideon paid a pretty penny for it… didn't you bro?" Christian glances at me and I grin at the thought of the single dollar nominal fee Christian reluctantly accepted.

Christian returns his gaze back to Landon "So if you would be so kind as to have accounting bring all the information we need. I'm assuming you have a conference room we can use?" he says with a bright grin.

"You have ruined me" Landon whines, "You have taken my life's work away" he says and he sits down with a thud.

I lean on the table and get into his face, "This is your punishment" I say quietly.

He looks up at me and swallows deeply.

"For fucking with me all these years and for hurting my family" I say coldly.

"What about my family they don't deserve this?" he says.

I shrug, "Did my daughter deserve the way you have behaved towards her?" I ask, and he stares at me realisation dawning on him that, in a nutshell that is why he is now in the situation he is in. He looks so desolate I pull out my phone again and capture the moment.

"What the fuck are you doing?" he asks.

"Just capturing the moment when you realised that what you did to Denise ruined you, I want my daughter to see you are no longer any threat to her or her son" I say coldly. I pause as I push my phone away, "Let me make myself clear Landon I don't give a shit about you, for all I care you can burn in hell but I'm not about to see your wife and children suffer for what you have done, I'm not you, so they will be taken care of".

He laughs mirthlessly "They all hate me for what I have done, this will be the final straw Janice will leave me for this, she has already threatened it" he says.

I shrug, "Not my problem" I say. I notice a couple of men have appeared with numerous files and a laptop and we head to the conference room.

"Good morning gentlemen" I say as I sit down, Christian sits beside me and Landon who is looking very ill sits on the other side of the table, "As I'm sure you are all aware by now I am the new owner of LanCorp and by the end of today I want to have a clear view of exactly what I now own" I say. The men nod silently a laptop is placed in front of me and the meeting begins.

By the time we break for lunch I have reorganised LanCorp completely, I have identified unprofitable areas and cut them selling them off immediately, I have consolidated PhaseOne into Cross Industries and at the moment I am picking through the remainder, picking out and keeping certain aspects but discarding the majority, I am shocked if I am honest and I think Christian is too, we can now see why major investors were willingly selling, and the ones who were approached didn't put up a bigger fight. LanCorp isn't the IT gaming giant we assumed it to be, Landon has been so consumed with his pursuit of revenge he has made some quite frankly stupid decisions over the years, everything he has done has been with a view to getting one over on me and undercutting me and in doing so he has made himself vulnerable and exposed. We have acted at the right time, any longer and the company would have tipped over from stagnation into the murky waters of insolvency. Word has got around the LanCorp offices and people are looking worried and the concern is palpable. So after lunch I demand a staff briefing, and all the staff gathers in the enormous briefing hall. I stand looking over the sea of worried faces in front of me.

"Good afternoon everyone, as you are all aware I am the new owner of LanCorp. I have spent my morning looking at the figures and making a number of necessary decisions. There is no way to sugar coat this, LanCorp is in difficulty. I have had to make some hard decisions this morning for the good of the company; unprofitable areas have been stripped away and sold off already. I understand this is very worrying for you all but I assure you I am hoping to save as many jobs as I possibly can, but I ask you all to bear with me as I work my way through everything. Thank you.

There is a ripple of applause as I walk away and a hum of murmurs.

"That was very well said" Christian murmurs to me as we walk away.

"Thank you" I reply.

I spend the rest of the day pouring over the paperwork, as far as I can see the only thing keeping LanCorp solvent is PhaseOne. So now I have incorporated this into Cross Industries there is hardly anything left, Christian and I go to Human Resources and get the staff files there isn't that many staff to worry about, I go through the employee files and the majority can be offered alternative positions within Cross Industries and Christian has spotted a number of employees who he would be willing to offer a relocation to Seattle and employment within GEH.

I am determined Landon isn't going to get a fucking dime so I work out what needs to be done, and workout an itinerary for the rest of the week on how I am going to proceed. Christian has agreed to stay until it is all complete and so he can personally meet and interview the people he has identified as potential employees for GEH.

When I get home I arrive at the penthouse I can I hear laughter I head towards it and in the sitting room I stop and stare at the scene in front of me. The furniture has been pushed back and Ana, Zoe and Olivia are contorted in various ways playing a game of twister, Denise is sitting on the sofa with John Flynn next to her and she is shouting out the instructions. She looks up at me and for the first time in a while I see a slight sparkle in her eyes and my heart leaps when I see it.

"Dad, are you going to join us?" she asks, and as she says this everyone else looks in my direction.

"DADDY!" Zoe yells and promptly stands sending everyone crashing into a heap.

"Well I guess that's the end of that game!" Ana says as she stands up.

After I have greeted my daughters, John follows me out to the kitchen with Denise, who suddenly looks serious and a little worried. Ana realises that we are going to talk and corrals Olivia and Zoe to help pack away the game. The fact my brother has now appeared also seems to distract Zoe and Olivia and I head out with John and Denise.

"How did today go?" Denise asks as soon as we are alone.

"Very well" I say, I rummage in my pocket and produce my phone and show her the picture of Landon's face after we had first walked into his office and again after the realisation of why I had done what I had done had hit him. A smile appears on her face as she stares at the pictures.

"Was he really pissed with you?" she asks.

I nod, "When I first arrived, the security guard asked if I had an appointment, I told him that as the owner of LanCorp I didn't need one, and when he relayed that to Landon, well let's just say we could hear he wasn't best pleased from across the other side of the desk!" I say.

She points at the second picture, "Why does he look so, I don't know... devastated?" she asks.

I look at the picture, "Well Christian had just explained to him how he had been buying up stock for years and how he had sold them to me last night, he also explained _why_ he had done it, because he didn't like the way Landon had behaved towards me over the years and then he way he has treated you. Landon mentioned his family, and how they were innocent and we pointed out that you were also innocent and this was the moment that realisation hit him" I say.

Denise hugs me "thank you daddy" she says, she pauses and her smile fades "I've been talking to John today and I have something to tell you it's not good but he said I needed to tell you, I need to confront my feelings and talk them through with you" she says, I watch as she takes a shot look at John.

"Go on" John says reassuringly, "Your dad will want to help you" he says.

I look at John and see him look almost pleadingly at me, why? What the hell is she going to say?

"I told John today that I've been having bad thoughts since Josh died, they just overtake me and I can't stop them" she says.

"Ok" I say warily.

"Sometimes I have been thinking that everyone would be better off if I wasn't here, and sometimes especially when Mr Landon has been threatening me I have been thinking if I wasn't here he wouldn't be able to carry out his threat" she says. I pause, what? Surely she's not saying? Fuck is she really thinking...?

"What do you mean Denise?" I ask staring at her.

She puts her head down, "Come on dad I don't have to spell it out do I?" she says I watch as the sparkle I saw earlier in her eyes disappears she is clearly distressed as I see tears starting to form.

"Shit, Denise... are you saying you have been thinking of killing yourself?" I whisper.

I go cold when she nods. "Not all the time, just when things got bad, I had these thoughts but I never acted on them" she says.

"Well that makes all the fucking difference!" I snap. I step away from her and start pacing.

"Gideon" John says carefully the warning clear in his tone.

"No John, fuck! My daughter has just told me she has contemplated suicide" I turn to her and before I can stop myself the words are coming out of my mouth, "you were prepared to kill yourself, you do realise what you are saying? You do realise if you kill yourself your son will die too, what kind of person are you?!" I spit. I regret saying what I said as soon as the words leave my mouth I pause and reach for Denise but she shakes her head and runs from the room.

"Gideon please calm down" John says, I can hear panic in his voice now and that worries me more than anything.

"FUCK" I yell and then I run after her.

I hear John following me and I run towards Denise's bedroom, as I get closer I hear that she is talking on the phone and I pause to listen.

"No, you won't take my son, you have nothing now, my dad has taken your company from you, it's not my fault your wife has left you, you brought all this on yourself, ringing me and shouting at me isn't going to bring back Josh it isn't going bring your wife back and if my dad finds out you are doing this well I wouldn't want to be you" She sounds distraught and then I hear her scream.

"NO! LEAVE ME ALONE" then I hear a smashing sound.

"What's happening?" John asks.

"Fucking Landon again" I say and I open the door in time to see Denise disappearing into the bathroom, I charge in taking in the smashed phone scattered on the floor as I head into the bathroom.

"Denise" I yell. I burst through the doors and see her with a razor blade in her hand.

I wrench it from her grip and pull her to me, my breathing ragged. "I'm sorry I'm so sorry" I say repeatedly. I feel her rigid body start to relax and she slowly responds to me, wrapping her arms around me.

"I'm sorry daddy" she whispers. I look up helplessly at John, who closes the door and leans against it.

"Denise, do you remember what we talked about, when you get these feelings of doing self harm, do you remember what you are to do?" he prompts.

Denise nods her head. "I know… but Mr Landon he was screaming at me, he sounded drunk and he scared me and it all got to me" she sobs.

I grip her tighter trying to hold on to my rising anger. "It's alright baby girl" I whisper.

She shakes her head, "I felt everything overwhelming me again, that's what happens and when it does. I get the urge to cut myself, the pain the sting the actual moment it's like a release but then I'm so ashamed. I'm so sorry, but sometimes the urge to cut is more... more intense and all bad thoughts start going through my head and I really believe it would be better if I wasn't here, I hate feeling like this daddy" she is clinging to me now.

I look towards John who is watching Denise carefully, "John is it wise for her to go to California if she is feeling like this?" I ask, I don't add the words which are on the tip of my tongue. When there is nobody to keep an eye on her 24/7, and in case she does something stupid.

"I would agree at this point Gideon that maybe a little ambitious but on the other hand I really believe it would be good for Denise to away out of New York for a while. A change of scenery and away from negative influences but I can see the flip side but if this is a solo trip I certainly wouldn't recommend that at this stage unless there is someone who could go with her, another family member?"

Denise looks up at me, "What about Liv?" she asks, "Granddad would love to see Liv as well as me and it won't be for long, just a short break a couple of weeks or so?" she looks at me hopefully.

"I could arrange with the school so she doesn't get behind" I say thinking out loud.

"Can I ask her?" Denise asks.

"Ok" I reply and I watch as she hurries off in search of her sister.

I stare at John helplessly, "I fucked that up didn't I?" I say.

John shrugs, "It was a shock, but you could have handled it more tactfully" he says.

I walk back into Denise's bedroom and sit down on her bed putting my head in my hands. "I feel so god damned helpless" I say.

John nods, "I understand that, I won't lie to you Gideon this is going to be hard for all of you, but I do believe this trip would be the best thing for her but I also think she needs someone familiar with her but is Olivia the best choice though?" he says.

I nod firmly, "She won't do anything stupid in front of Liv" I say confidently.

John nods, "yes but suppressing isn't to be encouraged either, but hopefully once she is there she will be able to open up to Dr Travis".

I nod, "Tell me what to do John because I don't know" I say helplessly.

John smiles reassuringly "I have spoken to Travis today and he is keen to start intensive therapy with Denise and he believes he can help her, he also sends his regards to you. If you think Olivia is up for the task of companion then I truly believe this will be the best option for her to get well, or at least strong enough to cope with the demands she will face when she becomes a mother" he says.

The door opens and Denise reappears, "Liv said she'd love to go" she says I see hope and I nod.

"Well you two had better start packing then" I say, and as I say it I hope to god I am doing the right thing.

After a night spent tossing and turning and questioning my decision to send Denise to California with Liv I decide to speak to Victor. I glance at the clock it is nearly 2am which means it's nearly 11pm in California, it's late but I have spoken to him at this time before. I reach for my phone and place the call.

"Victor" I say by way of greeting as he picks up, "I'm sorry to call so late, but I need some advice" I say.

"Gideon, how are you son?" he asks kindly. Both he and Chris call me son even though neither of them are my actual father and even after all these years it never ceases to make my heart lurch when I hear it.

"I'm fine, but I'm worried Vic. It's Denise… things are worse than I thought with her" I say.

"Oh, how so?" Victor asks and I can hear the concern which is evident in his voice.

I proceed to tell him the events of earlier this evening and my over reaction to them, then Landon's call and the repercussions from that, and I tell him how John thinks she should get out of New York but she needs accompanying, and how Denise wants to take Liv with her, and how I am concerned that this will be too much responsibility for my fifteen year old daughter especially if Denise decides to do something stupid. It all comes tumbling out and I purge myself of all my doubts and worries. When I have finished there is a deathly silence for a few moments until Victor eventually speaks again.

"Listen son, you know I don't mind having Denise and Olivia here at the same time, hell I've had all three of your girls to stay and young Zoe is like having a damn crowd with her energy! But I get what you are saying, but don't worry. I have taken some leave of absence on compassionate grounds for a week so, and I'll be able to keep an eye on things. I'll be accompanying her to see Travis and I'm sure he will be able to help her, I agree with you that Olivia doesn't need that kind of burden on her, does she know about Dennie's issues?"

I sigh, "I don't know, I know Denise and Liv talk, but I doubt whether she has told her about the self harming and suicidal thoughts, she had to be pushed to tell me about it" I say.

"Well… leave it like that, I'll keep my eye on her, and you'll have their security travelling with them as well so between us we can have it covered, I'm also trained in negotiation with people with mental health issues so I'm confident I can talk her down off the ledge if she does lose it, but if I'm honest I think being out of New York and away from that asshole Landon will do her the power of good, it's logical if he isn't drip feeding her negativity she won't be responding negatively" Victor says confidently.

"Thank you Victor, I'm going to change her cell phone number and add his to her blocked callers list and I will deal with him personally. I do feel more than a little responsible after all the reason he called her tonight was because I have just taken his company away from him and his wife has now left him, so he got wasted and called Denise but what he fails to realise is this will only make me more determined to totally destroy him" I say.

"Well what you do is up to you Gideon and I don't want to influence your decision, but just remember whatever you do will have repercussions and you don't want a tit for tat situation where you are both reacting to each other which I could see happening" Victor says.

"So can I, I was hoping that destroying him by taking his company would make him see I am not to be messed with but the stupid fucker just doesn't seem to learn" I say.

"And those are the worst kind, Gideon, especially now because now he has nothing more to lose and he could become desperate and if he is desperate he becomes dangerous, so just bear that in mind" Victor warns.

"I will thank you Victor" I say.

"You are more than welcome son, any time you know that, when do you plan on sending the girls out?" he asks.

"Day after tomorrow, well considering it is tomorrow here now we'll just say Friday if that's ok with you?" I say.

"No problem at all" Victor says kindly.

We chat for a few more moments and then I hang up more relaxed and less worried now and soon I manage to drift off to sleep.

The next morning I head out to see Denise and Olivia talking and discussing what they plan to do in California and I smile, as I watch them they both look like carefree teenagers but I know that is no way true for one of the girls in front of me.

"Good morning" I say as I approach and kiss each of them in turn.

I am immediately bombarded with hugs. I live for the affection and love given to me by my girls and it never fails to raise my spirits.

All too soon, Olivia and Zoe leave for school and Christian, Ana and John appear. Once again Christian and I head off to LanCorp and Ana and John stay with Denise. I hear Denise telling Ana something about Ireland and I pick my ears up and listen.

I catch the tail end of the conversation "...so if that's ok with you?"

"What's going on?" I ask casually.

Ana turns and smiles at me, "We are planning a girly day, we are meeting up with Ireland and having a spa day and we are also going to do a bit of shopping" she says.

I can't help but smile at that, Ana despises shopping but she almost sounds enthusiastic about it. I glance at John and he nods encouragingly at me.

I reach into my wallet, and pull out my credit card and hand it to Denise, "Here buy yourself something nice for your trip to California and put the cost of the spa day on here as well" I say.

"Thank you daddy" Denise says as she takes the card from me, "Can I get something for Liv too?" she asks and I nod at her.

"Of course you can" I reply.

John walks with me to the door, "Are you ok about this?" I ask him.

John nods enthusiastically, "I couldn't be happier, this sort of thing needs to be encouraged, show her that life is worth living. The fact she is willingly participating is a positive thing too, the time to get really worried is when she doesn't show any enthusiasm or refuses to participate in activities like this. We'll have our session before she heads out, and then when she goes that gives me chance to call Travis and give him a detailed run down of everything that has happened. If it's ok with you I will accompany Denise to California to introduce her to Travis and sort of do the official hand over, I understand that she will be travelling to California on board Christian's plane, as he said he needs complete some business in Los Angeles before returning to Seattle".

I nod, I had already discussed this with Christian and he had made the offer.

**oooOOOooo**

The day at LanCorp is very productive, there have been hardly any redundancies and most of the staff have been keen to move to Cross Industries or GEH. It appears Landon was not the best person to work for and things haven't been good at LanCorp for a while and there is a feeling of quiet optimism around the company now even though LanCorp itself no longer exists. I spend the day, wrapping everything up. Landon hasn't turned up today, I know that Janice has left him she has emptied their bank account and gone and his daughters have gone with her, she called me and surprisingly thanked me for what I have done, and she said I had done her a favour as it gave her the push she needed to leave him. She assured me she would be fine, Janice as I recall is nothing if not resourceful and I have a feeling there may be someone waiting in the wings for her, but I don't want to get involved.

She did ask me to let her know when the baby is born and asked if she could see him. I had told her that would be up to Denise, and she had understood but I'm confident Denise will allow Janice and the girls to see her son as they have done nothing to her. I have just finished putting the LanCorp offices up for sale and now I am going through the staff lists out of the one hundred and fifty employees, seventy seven have jumped ship and left not accepting any offer from myself or Christian. Christian has identified a number of key personnel he wants for GEH, forty seven in total and offered them relocation packages and all but one woman has taken him up on the offer, leaving me with the remaining twenty six who were all on the PhaseOne team and who have accepted positions within Cross Industries.

This just leaves me with this final remaining woman, who turned my brother down. Josephine Harris, she worked in PR which is not an area I am looking for any more staff and Christian seemed keen to have her. I read her file and she has a stellar employment record, and is a keen bright conscientious worker. She doesn't appear to have any ties in New York and I wonder why she turned my brother down. I am about to see her and make her redundant this is not something I want to do, but she refused a perfectly good offer and so I have no choice in the matter.

I ask for her to be brought to the office I am utilising and as I am going through some paperwork there is a knock at the door.

"Come in" I call.

The door opens and a painfully thin petite blonde woman walks in nervously. I look her in the eye, and I have to stop myself from gasping. She has gorgeous bright blue eyes and I am stunned by just how pretty she is. I take her in, she is neatly and professionally dressed but the clothes are not good quality. I know Landon didn't pay that well which probably accounts for that. She has a gentle kind face but as she looks at me I feel uncomfortable as it's almost as if she is seeing right inside me, past my impassive CEO facade. She can see the real me, I realise with jolt it is the same feeling I had when I first saw Eva and I quickly try to dismiss that. I realise my heart is beating faster and I am breathing heavier. I try and pull myself together and stand offering her my hand in welcome.

"Hello, Miss... erm... Harris, please take a seat" I say gesturing to the seat in front of me.

"Thank you and I'm very pleased to meet you Mr Cross" she says politely.

I quickly look though her file once more. I really don't want to do this but before I make her redundant I ask the thing I am burning to ask. "Miss Harris may I ask why you turned down my brothers offer to relocate to Seattle and work for GEH?" I ask looking carefully at her. She lowers her eyes and looks down at her fingers.

"Actually Mr Cross I'm _Mrs_ Harris, and I can't leave New York my husband is here" she says.

I nod, "I apologise Mrs Harris, your file marks you as single, so I take it then your husband works within the city?" I ask.

She shakes her head and to my surprise a tear falls from her eye which she quickly brushes away. "No Mr Cross, my husband is buried here. If I live in Seattle I will be unable to visit and tend his grave, that is why I turned down the very generous offer your brother made" she says, "I know that may sound stupid to you, giving up an opportunity of a lifetime because I am unable to let go of the past but that's just the way it is" she says with a shrug.

I smile at her, "No, I don't think that's stupid at all, you must have loved your husband very much" I say gently.

She nods, "he was my life, and we were high school sweethearts. He was my first and only we left Indiana looking to take on the world together and came to New York when Michael managed to get a job here. I got this job here and we were happy, very happy until five years ago when Michael got mugged on the subway home, he always came to meet me from work and we'd travel home together on the subway, and that particular night a man approached us and tried to take my purse. Michael tried to stop him and he was stabbed as he tried to protect me and he died in my arms. The man was caught, and it turned out he was a drug addict and had other issues, he didn't know what he was doing" she stops brushes away more tears I feel myself rising and walking around to her side of the table and sitting beside her. I reach for my handkerchief and offer it to her, and then I reach for her hand and squeeze it. I don't know what to do so I start talking about Eva.

"I know how it feels to lose the love of your life, my wife Eva died about five years ago. She had a brain tumour; we didn't know she had it until it was too late. I felt my life had ended when she died, and even now I still miss her every day, I totally understand your reluctance to leave New York. My wife is buried here and so I could never bring myself to move to anywhere else" I say.

Mrs Harris looks up at me, "I know I saw you in the hospital with your family, you were just arriving when my husband was brought in, there were a number of reporters hanging around the hospital entrance and they got in the way of the ambulance we were in. They moved and I looked to see who they were interested in and I recognised you of course and I saw how the press hounded you. I thought can't they leave the poor man alone he is visiting his sick wife; I had read in the paper that your wife was sick and then I heard that she had died. She died a couple of days after Michael passed away". She says.

I stare at her, not quite believing what I am hearing. "Do you have any children?" I ask.

She shakes her head, "No, we were trying for a baby, but it didn't happen for us, we thought we had plenty of time to start a family but it wasn't to be" she stops and shrugs, but I can see this regret is a very painful one.

"What do you plan to do; now LanCorp doesn't exist anymore?" I ask.

She shrugs at me, "I'm not sure I have my resume so hopefully someone will take an interest. I have a good employment record even though I have only worked for one employer which should count in my favour" she says.

"Come and work for me at Cross Industries" I say impulsively. "You have a stellar record, I can see why my brother wanted you for GEH" I add.

She smiles at me, "Thank you Mr Cross is that why you wanted to see me, to offer me a job?" she asks.

"Yes" I lie, I hadn't intended on offering her a job I have enough people in my PR department but there is something about this woman which intrigues me.

"Thank you I accept and you won't regret it. I work hard and everyone says I have a knack for Public Relations. I seem to know exactly the right thing to say to fit the situation and I can think on my feet and I seem to have a sixth sense and know when we are being scammed by reporters trying to get information. Mr Landon said I'd saved his ass so many times" she says.

I smile again at her. "Well I look forward to seeing you in action" I say.

"Do I need to sign anything?" she asks after a slight silence.

"I... my Human Resources department haven't produced the contract yet, but I can quickly go through everything with you" I say.

She shakes her head, "No that's fine, I can wait until I get my contract, thank you very much Mr Cross you have no idea how relieved I am about this, I did wonder if I was doing the right thing turning down Mr Grey's offer" she says.

"Why?" I ask.

"I have been saving for a headstone for my husband's grave, I have been putting money aside each month out of my wages and I am so close to having enough now, it's taken a while I knew I'd get there in the end, and… I have other important financial commitments but I won't lie I was worried that if I lost my job I wouldn't be able to do it, but I figured that I am nothing but resourceful and I would find a way somehow to fulfil those commitments".

I stare at her, "Mrs Harris, you're not struggling financially are you?" I ask.

She smiles at me, "Mr Cross, thank you for your concern but I manage, I pay my rent on my apartment I have enough for the necessities, food clothes etc and the rest well... anyway, but yes Mr Cross I'm fine" she assures me.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to offend you" I say hastily.

She shakes her head, "No not at all" she says. I can't help but think there is something she isn't telling me. I shake her by the hand and she thanks me once more. As she leaves I sit back in my seat and my brother enters as she is leaving he looks at me carefully.

"Everything ok bro?" he asks.

I nod, "yes I just offered Mrs Harris a job at Cross industries" I say.

He stares at me, "You said that you don't need any more PR staff that's why I offered her a job at GEH, but she does have an impressive record and I can always have someone with a knack for PR on my team" he says.

I nod, "Yes, but she doesn't want to leave New York and I understand her reasons why, which is why I offered her a job, that and she is a first class employee – on paper" I say.

Christian nods, "Anyway my reason for being here, Landon is in the building, he is totally wasted and making a nuisance of himself. He's making threats and generally behaving like an asshole" he says.

I call security and tell them to have him escorted from the building. I can't get Mrs Harris out of my mind I make a note of her home address from her employee file, and I see that she lives in Brooklyn. I call Raul.

"Raul, can you do a background check on someone for me please?" I ask.

"Certainly sir, give me the details" he says.

"Josephine Harris, 35 years old" I say, I quickly give Raul the address and social security number and her date of birth and he tells me he will be right on it and he assures me he will have everything I need to know by the end of the afternoon.

"Do you want to get some lunch?"

I realise Christian is talking to me and has said something I glance up at him and see he is looking at me oddly.

"What? … Oh yes… lunch ok" I say and I grab my jacket.

Christian frowns at my response, "Are you sure you're ok, you seem distracted?" he asks me.

I nod and force a smile, "yes… I'm just thinking about Denise and her trip to California" I lie because at this moment all I am thinking about is Josephine Harris and by the very fact I am, is slightly disconcerting to me.


	25. Chapter 25

CHAPTER 25

By the end of the day I am ready to leave the LanCorp offices for good. Before I go Raul appears with two files in his hand.

"Sir, Maggie sent this over from HR at the Crossfire" he says. I open it and see the contract ready for Josephine to sign, along with an attached terms of employment. I smile as I see it then he hands me the second file. "This is the background check you asked for on Mrs Harris" he says.

I look up at him, "Anything amiss?" I ask I am surprised by how nervous I am to hear his response, for some reason I really want this woman to be as genuine as she appeared to be.

He shakes his head, "Poor woman deserves a break, I have never been so upset doing a background check in my life" he says.

I point to the seat in front of me, "What do you mean?" I ask taking the file and opening it.

Raul sits down and sighs deeply I look carefully at him and I can see this really has affected him and I wonder what on earth he has uncovered.

"She was born in Indiana, raised by a single mom after her father died when she was small. She is an only child and her mom still lives in Indiana and it appears she sends the majority of her wages to her mom each month to pay for her healthcare. Her mom has cancer and she is funding her treatment single handed. I have gone into her finances with a fine tooth comb and I honestly can't see how she is managing, not on what she earns" he leans forward towards the open file in front of me and sifting through the paperwork he pulls one out and shows me.

"She appears to wire that to her mother, that is her rent and utilities and that is a savings account she puts money into. I have to say it raised a number of red flags and I was concerned she was getting money by other means so I looked a little deeper, but it appears not she buys her clothes from thrift stores and I have no idea how she survives as her grocery bills are negligible, it appears she works to literally survive" he says.

I feel a lump in my throat, and stare at the file. This is clearly a very proud woman who asks for nothing from anyone. I decide there and then that I want to help her, but how?

"Thank you Raul" I say.

He simply nods in acknowledgement and then stands to leave. I think for a moment and then pick up the phone and call the PR department.

"LanCorp PR" comes a quiet sweet voice.

"Mrs Harris?" I ask.

"Yes" she says.

"Gideon Cross here, I'm glad I've caught you, would you mind coming up to my office I have your Cross Industries contact here ready for you to sign" I say.

"Not at all Mr Cross I'll be right up" she says politely.

A few moments later there is a knock and I call her to come in.

I smile at her, "Mrs Harris please take a seat" I say. I open the file and quickly take out the contract and scan it. I'm pleased to note that amount she going to be earning is nearly double at what she was on here.

I push it in front of her and she reads it, her mouth dropping open as does so.

"Erm, there appears to be an error here sir" she says.

She points at her salary, and I quickly glance at it and shake my head, "No, that is correct" I say dismissively, she stares wide eyed at the amount and her mouth drops open.

"My mother can..." she stops abruptly and quickly signs the contract.

"Your mother can what?" I ask urging her to tell me what I already know.

She shakes her head, "It doesn't matter" she says.

"No, please tell me" I ask.

I see her struggling and she once again looks down at her hands. "My mother is sick. She has cancer, she doesn't have any health insurance, so I have been sending money to pay for her treatment, with this I will be able to pay for her to have health insurance of her own and then hopefully she will be able to have the operation she needs" she says.

I stare at this unselfish woman in front of me and I know I need to do something.

"Mrs Harris, do you have health insurance through your employment here?" I ask.

She shakes her head, "No, Mr Landon gave us the option but it wasn't provided by the company, we would have to pay and then the cost would be taken from our wages, and if I did that I just wouldn't be able to afford to pay for my mother's treatment, so I refused it" she says.

I shake my head in disgust, fucking Landon was worse than Ebenezer Scrooge.

"Mrs Harris, you do realise that Cross Industries offers a top of the range comprehensive health insurance scheme for all its employees so you will be covered for yourself and a family member of your choice" I say as I realise I can get her mother the help she needs through our company funded health insurance scheme. I quickly explain how she can nominate her mother to receive the insurance cover on the scheme she will be entitled to as a Cross Industries employee.

She stares at me tears in her eyes, "So have I got this right, I will have my own health insurance and my mother will be covered too, and I won't have to send any money to her each month to cover the treatment she has, and on top of that I get paid this much?!" she asks incredulously.

I nod at her, "That is correct" I say.

I see the confusion on her face and I wonder what is going through her mind. "But it's an existing condition… insurance companies don't cover existing conditions?" she asks and my heart sinks.

Shit… I was hoping she wouldn't know that, as I was planning to cover the cost of her mother's treatment.

"I am a very wealthy and influential man so I found that I can get around these rules" I say evasively hoping that I can fob her off with that.

She seems to buy it as I am stunned by the huge relieved smile she gives me "If it wasn't totally unprofessional I could hug you right this moment Mr Cross" she says.

I stand and hold my arms open, "Go ahead" I say; I am surprised by my reaction and also by the fact that at this moment I want nothing more than for this woman to embrace me.

She stares at me as if I am crazy but then hesitantly she stands and walks towards me.

"This feels like a dream, I don't know how to thank you, but I promise you I will be the best employee ever!" she says as she quickly hugs me, as my arms close around her small body I feel just how thin and frail she is. I can feel every single bone in her body through her thin jacket. But what shocks me most is the rush I get when I touched her, I think she must have felt it too as she quickly pulls away from me.

She is blushing and flustered, yes she did feel it. I am confused, but I touch her arm as I just want to keep the contact with her. "If you need anything don't hesitate to contact me" I say sincerely. I reach into my pocket and pull out a business card and I write my personal cell phone number on it and hand it to her. She takes it from me and nods.

"Thank you Mr Cross, you are a good man" she says.

I smile at her and I feel oddly proud by her assessment of me, "Call me Gideon" I say.

"Thank you... Gideon" she says and smiles at me again, I feel my breath catch. What the fuck is happening to me?

**oooOOOooo**

The next morning I am churned up inside as we go to the airport to see off Liv and Dennie to California. We are on the tarmac, standing in front of Christian's plane as I say goodbye to Denise and Liv. They hug me and I make Denise promise to call me and talk to me if she gets any dark thoughts. She tells me she will, I know that she doesn't want Liv to know about the issues she is having and so I hope she will keep her promise to do so. I am still worrying and as a result I am finding it difficult to hold it together. John pulls me to one side and assures me everything will be fine, and Christian promises me that none of them will leave California until he is happy and certain that she is settled.

I watch my girls climb on board the GEH jet. I watch as they pause at the top of the steps and wave at me and I wave back. I feel a little lost as the doors shut and the steps are moved and I remain where I am as the plane taxi's away ready to take off.

"Are you ready sir?" I am pulled from my thoughts by Raul and I nod my head. I watch as Christian's jet takes off into the air and as it disappears I turn and climb into the waiting Bentley.

I am making my way back into the city when I spot her. Josephine Harris, I see her emerging from the subway and she looks flustered and she is running, she looks upset and I feel a surge of something I can't place as I see how distressed she is. I'm convinced that she is crying or has been recently, I glance at my watch and realise that she should be at work by now, I watch as she dashes weaving her way along the packed New York streets, she heads into the LanCorp building, where I am also going to finish up and tie up the loose ends.

When I am dropped off a few moments later I stride into the building and I see her as she is waiting for the elevator to arrive and she is agitated and clearly very distressed, so I make a point of finding out what is wrong and I walk towards her.

"Mrs Harris, what's wrong?" I ask as I rest my hand on her shoulder.

She jumps violently, and spins on the spot to face me. "Oh Mr Cross... Gideon, I... I'm late... I'm sorry... my mother... I'm sorry" she gabbles.

"Stop" I say and pulling her by the arm I lead her to another elevator car which has just opened. I urge her in and step inside she is trembling and stands in the far corner of the elevator as far as she can possibly get from me.

As the doors close I turn to face her, "Talk to me" I demand.

"I'm fine, honestly, I'm sorry I'm late" she says.

I wave my hand dismissively "Forget that, you said something about your mother" I say.

At the mention of her mother, tears build in her eyes and a feeling of dread surges through me, has her mother's condition worsened or even worse has she...? I push those thoughts from my mind and wait for Josephine to explain.

"She is... the cancer has spread" she says sadly, "I was talking to her last night I was so happy and excited, I rang her and told her about how she will have her own health insurance for the first time, and how I have been offered this chance at Cross Industries and how I have a raise in salary and so I will be able to pay to make sure she gets the best treatment I can afford and that was when she told me that the cancer has spread and she wants to stop treatment… she's had enough and wants to die. We argued and I was worried so I didn't sleep very well and then I overslept" she stops speaking as the tears start to fall again.

I make a decision there and then I am going to take care of this, "Right, come with me" I say as the doors open. We head to the office I have been using and when we get inside I wordlessly point to a seat and she obediently sits down. I step out and ask for some coffee to be brought up. Then go back inside and I reach for my phone.

"Give me the name of your mother's specialist and his number" I say decisively and she just stares at me in bewildered shock. "Well?" I ask as she doesn't reply.

"Erm… Dr Finch, IU Health Arnett Cancer Care, Lafayette" she says, she pulls out her phone and quickly gives me the phone number.

I make a note of it but don't call the number but I do call Raul, "Raul I want everything you can find on Dr Finch at IU health Arnett Cancer Care in Lafayette, Indiana, I need to know if he is the best, if not then find me the best" I say.

"Yes sir" he says and hangs up, and then I call the hospital. I explain who I am and I am quickly put through to Dr Finch.

"Dr Finch speaking, how may I help you?" comes a polite female voice.

"Dr Finch my name is Gideon Cross I am calling from New York regarding..." I pause as I realise I don't know Josephine's mother's name.

I look at her questioningly, "Maureen Booth" she says still staring at me, her eyes wide with shock.

"Regarding Maureen Booth, I am here with her daughter Josephine Harris and we need to know what we are dealing with" I demand.

"Mr Cross, I am fully aware of who _you _are, but I am unable to divulge any details without the consent of Mrs Booth or Mrs Harris" she says.

"Hold on" I snap, and I hold out my phone to Josephine, "They won't speak to me until you say they can" I say irritably, she steps towards me and takes my phone.

"Dr Finch, hello... yes... yes you can. I don't know... yes" she says and hands me back my phone.

"Hello" I snap.

"Mr Cross, Mrs Booth has been undergoing chemotherapy for breast cancer but the tumour is aggressive and appears to have spread" she stops.

"So why hasn't she had surgery to remove the tumour?" I demand.

There is a brief silence before she replies, "I'm sorry Sir but Mrs Booth doesn't have the resources to pay for surgery. Her daughter pays for the chemotherapy she receives and so far that has maintained the disease" she says.

I stare at my phone. I am unable to believe what I am hearing and my mind flies back to when Eva was dying and how I didn't think twice about flying in specialists from all over the world to try and save her, and here is this woman in the twenty first century in the richest country in the world unable to receive decent medical treatment. I look at Josephine sitting in front of me and my decision is made.

"Listen to me Dr Finch, you will schedule Mrs Booth for surgery, you do everything to ensure that all the initial cancer is removed and you will find and identify any other spread of the disease and you give her the best treatment you have. You will not question the cost as I will be paying for Mrs Booth's care from this moment going forward until she clear of this disease, do you understand me?" I say. There is another silence as the doctor doesn't respond, "I said do you understand me?" I say again.

"Yes Mr Cross" is the reply.

"Good, Mrs Harris and I will be arriving later today to personally oversee Mrs Booth's treatment, I expect everything to be in place for her by the time we arrive, do you understand me?" I say.

"Yes Mr Cross" Dr Finch says.

"Thank you goodbye" I say and I end the call. I turn to Josephine who is staring at me her mouth hanging wide open.

My phone pings with a text from Raul.

_**Dr Finch is a she not a he - v good, in top ten rated cancer specialists in US.**___

I read it and smile, that's one good thing at least.

I place a call to Arash my attorney and close friend, "Arash I need your help my friend, I need you to come over to the LanCorp offices and oversee the closing down of the building, the majority of the staff are gone now, and the movers are coming in to strip the place they know what is going where, but I'll leave the details with reception" I say.

"No problem, why aren't you doing it?" he asks.

"Something more important has come up which needs my attention, oh and one more thing if Landon makes an appearance have him arrested" I say.

"With pleasure" he replies, "Ok, I'm on my way" he says and I hang up.

"Right come on let's get you home so you can pack a bag" I say. I text Raul to have the Bentley waiting for us and I quickly escort Josephine from the building.

Josephine stares at the Bentley and then quickly climbs in. She tells Raul her address which is quite unnecessary as he already knows it from his background check and we head towards Brooklyn while I arrange for my jet to be on standby, ready for us to go to Indiana.

When we arrive in Brooklyn Josephine goes inside a shabby looking building block, in a distinctly rough area of Brooklyn. She reappears a few moments later with a small bag and climbs back into the car. She is very quiet and I worry that I have overstepped the mark with what I have done, and as I sit and I think about what I have done I know I have overstepped and I feel the need to explain, or to at least say something.

I lean forward and smile reassuringly at Josephine who just looks bewildered by everything that is happening. "Look, I know this must be very overwhelming for you, but I genuinely want to help you" I say lamely.

She nods but doesn't say anything for a moment. Then she looks up at me and as she makes eye contact with me I am once again struck by the beauty of her eyes.

"Why are you doing this Mr Cross? Why me?" she asks me.

I pause, why indeed? I have no fucking idea why, I just feel in my gut that it is the right thing to do and I am running with it but I know I can't say that so I shake my head, "I don't know, is the honest answer. You appear to be a good woman who has been dealt a shit hand and I want to try and make something right for you, so you don't have to face any more pain and loss" I say.

She thinks about what I have said and she smiles at me, "Thank you" she says eventually. I watch her; I study her carefully and notice just how thin she is. She is wearing a pair of trousers which hang on her and a small thin top. She is borderline emaciated. I wonder when the last time she had a decent meal was.

We arrive at the airport and I have arranged for a breakfast to be waiting for us and I intend to take her out to dinner when we arrive in Lafayette. She climbs on board the plane and stares openly at the surroundings, it is clear this is making her uncomfortable.

"Please take a seat" I say.

She obeys and sits down pulling the seatbelt on, and I smile at her.

"You don't need to fasten that yet" I say. I turn and greet my pilot and flight staff, and head to the small galley; I pour some coffee for me, "Would you like some coffee?" I call.

"No thank you" comes the reply.

"Orange juice? Tea?" I push.

"Erm… orange juice would be nice, thank you" comes the response. I pour some orange juice and then lift the lid on the two plates keeping warm and I smile at the food. I pick up the drinks and head out and hand Josephine the drink, she accepts it and thanks me again. Then I go back for the food.

She stares at the plate as I hand it to her.

"What's this?" she asks.

I shrug, "I didn't get chance for breakfast this morning as I was here first thing seeing my daughters off as they were flying out of New York, they are staying with their grandfather for a while and their flight to California was early this morning" I explain. This isn't totally true I hardly ever eat breakfast, but something tells me this woman hardly eats period.

She stares at the plate piled up with pancakes and bacon and a pile of scrambled eggs. "I can't eat all that" she says.

"Eat what you can" I say gently, "I'm pretty sure you probably missed breakfast as well this morning after what you told me" I say diplomatically.

She nods and takes the plate from me and my fears are confirmed as I watch her wolf the food as if she hasn't eaten for days but she still leaves a good portion of it and I understand why, if she has been surviving on very little she physically won't be able to eat it.

While we are in the air I take the opportunity to do some work, I am engrossed in a couple of projects when I realise I am being watched. I look up and smile at Josephine; she immediately turns red and averts her gaze.

"Is everything alright?" I ask politely.

She shrugs, "I just never in a million years expected anything like this to happen to me" she says.

I put down the papers I have been poring over, "I just want to help you, there is no agenda, and no ulterior motive… your story touched me. You reminded me... of me, of how much I love and miss my wife and I just don't want you to have to face any more loss and grief when I can do something about it. I apologise if I have overstepped the mark, but you may have noticed I do like to get my own way" I stop speaking and wait for her to respond.

To my great relief Josephine smiles at me, "You are a good kind man, and I will be forever in your debt for everything you are doing, I will never be able to pay back the money you are spending though, maybe if I pay you back in instalments?" she says looking at me.

I stare at her and shake my head, "I don't expect you to" I say. I sigh and think for a moment, "Look on it as a friend who has the resources to help another friend out and doing so willingly – no strings attached" I say.

To my surprise she bursts into tears, shit what did I say?

"I'm sorry, that is the nicest thing anyone other than Michael has ever said to me" she says.

I stand up and go and sit next to her, "Why is that?" I ask.

She shakes her head, "I like to think I am good person, and I will do anything for anyone and give my last dime to help people and I try to see the good in everyone but people have taken advantage of that in the past" she says sadly.

"I'm much harder now believe it or not, but this is the first time ever anyone other than Michael has selflessly done something for me, and it has thrown me as I'm not used to it. I am now worried that you are going to think I am taking advantage of you. I mean I can see how this looks rich billionaire meets penniless girl and conveniently she tells him this sob story about a sick mother and I really don't want you to think that, and the only way I can convince myself that I'm not taking advantage of your kindness is to pay you back and so now I am worrying about _how_ I am going to pay you back" she stops and I look at her carefully.

"Mrs Harris... Josephine, may I call you Josephine?" I ask and she nods. "Josephine, yes I am a very wealthy man, and I am in the fortunate position to be able to help you and your mother. I do not want you to pay me back, and as for you taking advantage of me that isn't going to happen as I am also a very shrewd man and I can read people well and I see nothing duplicitous about you, so please stop worrying" I say and I reach for her and place my hand over hers and squeeze gently as I try to reassure her.

"You are very kind" she says. We sit in silence for a few moments and then she speaks, "Does this mean you are my friend?" she asks quietly.

I think about that for a moment and then smile, "yes I suppose it does" I say.

At that she gives me the most beautiful heart stopping smile, "Well as my friend, why don't you tell me a little more about yourself?" she says with a giggle.

I laugh, "There isn't much to tell, and most of my life can be accessed by putting my name into Google" I say sadly.

"It must be horrible not to be anonymous" she says.

"Sometimes" I agree.

"I have a confession to make" she says suddenly and I look at her questioningly, "I did actually Google you after you offered me the job. I was kind of floored by everything I read about you, you have had a rough time of it haven't you?" she says.

"Meaning?" I ask evasively.

"Everything you went through as a child, it was just appalling no child should ever have to suffer like that then later on when you found out about your dad but I guess finding out that Mr Grey was your brother was one good thing to come out of that, then everything you went through when your wife died. You are obviously an amazing man, I'm sure there are people out there who would have given up, if a quarter of what has happened to you over the years had happened to them". She stops and looks embarrassed, "sorry I'm being far too personal I'll shut up" she says.

I shake my head, "No don't, but you seem to know all there is to know about me, perhaps you could tell me a little more about yourself. I mean, no offence but I doubt I could find out as much about you if I put your name into Google" I say.

She laughs again, "For that I am glad, no there isn't much to tell really I was born and raised in Lafayette, Indiana, my mom still lives there as you know, my dad died when I nine, he was killed in a car crash and my mom raised me alone from that point onwards. She never remarried, I have no siblings, I went through school I was the quiet nerdy one who just kept her head down and worked hard. When I was fourteen I met Michael and fell in love, we stayed together and we both graduated from High School and Michael went to college. I put myself through college and then Michael landed a good job here in New York, he asked me to come with him, so I did. The first weekend we were in New York he proposed to me in Central Park. I said yes and we married at the courthouse two days later, just the two of us with two courthouse officials who stood as witnesses. We went to our favourite restaurant to celebrate afterwards. I got myself a job at LanCorp and we had a good life we were happy, then that day on the subway all that changed" she stops and her face darkens. I can't help it I reach for her and wrap my arm around her and pull her in close. "Since then I've just carried on battling alone" she adds quietly.

Alone, I understand that concept only too well, for years I was completely alone. "Well you are not alone anymore; now you have me as your friend and you are to call me anytime you need anything do you understand?" I say firmly.

She looks up at me and smiles through the tears, "You have no idea how nice that sounds" she says.

I nod, "Oh I think I do" I say quietly.


	26. Chapter 26

CHAPTER 26

**(DENISE)**

The doors of the plane opens and I make my way down the steps I see the familiar figure of my grandfather standing beside a car. He doesn't move but as I walk towards him he simply opens his arms and waits.

"Granddad" I whisper and I walk into his waiting arms.

I feel his strong arms close around me and I close my eyes as I savour the moment and I am enveloped in the strong calm embrace of my grandfather. He doesn't say anything but he doesn't need to; I rest my head on his shoulder. I am nearly as tall as he is now and I feel him kiss the top of my head. I pull away and smile at him and he looks carefully at me and nods.

"You are going to be just fine" he says confidently with a smile and these simple words fill me with confidence and positivity and I just nod back.

"GRANDDAD!" Liv flings herself at granddad and I quickly take a step back, so I don't get flattened by her exuberant welcome.

My grandfather laughs and greets her warmly. I watch my uncle stride over his hand outstretched.

"Victor how are you?" Uncle Christian says, and my grandfather accepts his greeting and shakes his hand warmly.

"Christian, good to see you again" he says, and then he spots Aunt Ana and embraces her.

"Hello Victor" she says and she pulls John forward, "Victor let me introduce John Flynn" I watch John step forward and politely greet my grandfather.

"Hello Mr Reyes, I've heard a lot about you from Gideon and Denise" he says smiling widely.

My grandfather turns to me and grins, "I deny everything!" he says.

Christian steps forward, "I'm sorry to be rude but I need to head out as I have some business up in Los Angeles I need to attend to. When I've finished I'll drop by before we leave for Seattle, so I'll talk to you later Denise ok?" he says.

I nod and watch as Liv hugs him tightly.

"But I'm afraid you are stuck with me" John says as we climb into the car.

I see another SUV waiting for us and I realise my dad had arranged for it to be left at the airport. Paul and Davis climb into it and follow us back to our grandfather's house. It's a simple small house, with a covered porch on the front and steps which lead down to the path which then links the property with the main sidewalk. I love it here and as we walk up the steps and I step into the comfortable sitting room, I look around and sit down on the well worn sofa and I sigh as I feel a odd sense of calm wash over me. This is what I needed. Liv goes to her room and starts to unpack while I notice John and my grandfather sit down with me.

"We'll have a spot of lunch and afterwards I'll take you to meet Dr Travis alright?" my grandfather says carefully.

I nod, "Ok" I say.

"You don't have to talk to him today, just meet him get a feel for him and what he does" John adds carefully. "I need to speak to him to officially hand you over and bring him up to speed on everything that we have already talked about" he adds.

"That's fine" I say. I suddenly realise I want to talk to my dad. "Erm if you'd excuse me I want to call my dad and let him know we are here ok" I say. John and my grandfather both nod and leave me alone to make my call.

I call my dad and wait for the call to be placed.

"Denise" I hear his voice and as he says my name I smile.

"Hi dad, just thought I'd let you know we are at Granddad's now we arrived safely and everything is cool. Uncle Christian and Aunt Ana have gone to Los Angeles now so Uncle Christian can do his business thing. John is here with me, Liv is unpacking at the moment and I'm just chilling on the sofa" I say brightly.

"That's good to know sweetheart" he says.

"What are you doing daddy?" I ask "Are you still at LanCorp or are you back at the Crossfire now?" I ask.

"Neither, I'm actually in Lafayette, Indiana at the moment" he says.

"Indiana!? What the hell are you doing there?" I ask in surprise.

"Helping a friend" he says simply, "I'll explain everything when I talk to you later. I'll call you this evening when I get back to New York and we can have a chat" he adds.

"Ok dad, I'll let you get on" I say, just as I say this Liv wanders out, "Oh hang on dad Liv is here now" I hold out my phone to my sister, "Dad" I say quietly. She grins and rushes forward grabbing my phone.

"Hi daddy!" she squeals, "yeah, yeah... I just did... ok dad... of course I will, ok... yeah... alright love you daddy, talk to you later, bye" she hands me back the phone and then disappears into the kitchen.

"Are you still there dad?" I ask.

"I'm still here" he replies.

"I'll say goodbye then, and I'll talk to you later" I say.

"No problem talk to you soon" he says.

I hesitate a moment as I realise I don't really want to hang up, "Bye dad, love you" I say.

"I love you too sweetheart" he says. I hang up and push my phone into my pocket and after I take a deep breath I head out into the kitchen.

"Here you are!" my grandfather says and pulls a plate of filled bread rolls out of the fridge and places them on the table, "here tuck in" he says.

After a light lunch John and I head out to meet Dr Travis. After some discussion my grandfather is staying with Liv and Davis, while Paul and I head out with John. We pull up at what looks like a sports centre, I pause and look closely at the building; it surprises me as it is nothing like what I expected. John sees me staring and smiles reassuringly.

"His offices are a little unorthodox" he says.

I nod and just stand there as I feel suddenly afraid. John doesn't pressure me he simply waits until I am ready to go in, Paul waits outside and scans the area. I walk in and see a group of teenage boys playing a game of basket ball. Three girls are watching them and a there is a couple of girls talking on a battered old sofa. John leads me over to an office with the word 'Coach' on the door. I smile as I see it and John pushes the door open, I see a sandy haired man sprawled on a desk chair. I take in the untidy office there is a sofa which is held together with duct tape and is covered in signatures. As we enter the man turns and immediately stands with a kind smile.

"Hello, you must be Denise" he says, and he gestures to the sofa and I sit down. John greets Dr Travis warmly they obviously know each other and then he sits beside me.

"Denise I'm Dr Travis, or just Travis whatever you feel comfortable calling me, I've heard all about you from John here and your father has also spoken to me. I'm pretty sure I can help you and if you want to come and see me and see how it goes you are more than welcome" he says.

I nod and glance down at the sofa my eyes roaming idly over the names, I freeze suddenly as I see one name and I recognise the writing, I touch it with my finger.

"Mom" I whisper, I feel tears threatening and I blink furiously. I look up and Dr Travis and John are both looking kindly at me.

"What have you found?" Dr Travis asks gently.

"My… my mom's name, obviously before she married my dad as it says Eva Trammell. I stare at the signature and for some unknown reason it gives me comfort. It makes me feel closer to my mom, being here sitting where she sat, I look up at Dr Travis.

"Did my mom sit in here?" I ask.

He nods at me, "She did, and your mom was one of my biggest successes. She overcame terrible circumstances" he says.

I nod, "she was raped repeatedly when she was a girl" I say, "my dad told me about it" I explain.

Dr Travis nods but doesn't say anything.

I look up and look him directly in the eye, "Can you fix me?" I ask.

Dr Travis looks at me and shakes his head, "No Denise, I don't fix you what I do is, I give you the tools to fix yourself. I help you find the answers which are hiding inside you and talk things through and help you see things clearer" he says.

I nod. He points at my bump which I am unconsciously stroking.

"How far along are you?" he asks.

"Erm about 25/26 weeks" I say.

"Do you know what you are having?" he asks.

I nod "A boy" I say and I smile, "Josh was so proud when we found out" I stop and the tears start to fall, "my son is never going to know how much his father loved him" I sob.

Dr Travis gets up from the seat and crouches in front of me. "Denise look at me" I look up and sniff, "Are you going to tell your son about his father?" he asks.

I stare at him incredulously, what a stupid fucking thing to ask! "Of course I am" I snap.

He ignores my sharp tone and smiles, "So then surely you will tell him that his father loved him won't you?" he says and that immediately takes all the anger out of me in a rush.

I nod I hadn't thought of it like that, I glance at John and then look at Dr Travis again.

"I want to stop having bad thoughts, when things happen I get the urge to hurt myself and I know it's wrong but I just feel I need to, and sometimes I have had really bad thoughts that it would be better if I died" I say quietly.

"Why is that, what makes you have those sort of thoughts?" he asks.

"Ryan Landon" I say and I shiver as I say the name.

"Who is Ryan Landon?" Dr Travis asks gently.

I take a deep breath, "He is Josh's dad and he hates my dad. There has been bad blood between the Landon's and Cross's which goes way back to when my dad was a child and I found out that he was planning on trying to split me and Josh up and take my baby away from me. He was going to try and say I was a bad mom. I confronted him about it and Josh overheard and disowned him. He came to live with us, and just refused to have anything to do with his dad. Then when Josh died it kind of unhinged Mr Landon because he never reconciled with Josh before he died and since then he has really ramped up the crazy. He calls me repeatedly and he has threatened me that he is going to take my baby from me. He publicly humiliated me at Josh's funeral and dad was furious and he and Uncle Christian were so angry about it that they took revenge on him. They basically took his company from underneath him and ruined him and as a result of that his wife has also left him. He has nothing because of the way he has behaved, but every time I think about him it makes me have bad thoughts. He phoned me and screamed at me that he was going to take my son away from me, and I thought if I did die my son would be safe from him, because he would be with me. I know that sounds crazy but when I have these thoughts they seem logical and reasonable and it scares me that I might act on them" I stop and watch Dr Travis's reaction carefully.

"Alright, well I think Mr Landon has his own issues he needs to address, unfortunately I think although your uncle and father thought they were doing the right thing they may have made things worse by punishing him the way they did. But never mind what is done is done, have you blocked him so he can't call you anymore?" he asks.

I nod, "My dad bought me a new phone and I have a new number and his number is on my blocked list" I say.

Dr Travis nods, "That's good, that's a good start" he says.

"I just want to stop having bad thoughts and I want to stop hurting myself" I say again.

Dr Travis nods, "this is a coping mechanism you have adopted, it's not a healthy one and with your negative thought pattern at the moment we need to break it. We need to find something positive for you to focus on when something happens which makes you want to harm yourself, and that is what we can work on, it's a positive start that you have left New York for a while and removed yourself from the area where all the bad things happened. What we need to do is give you the tools to help you cope when you go back. Does that sound good to you?" he asks.

I smile and nod, "Thank you" I say sincerely.

Dr Travis smiles, "That's absolutely fine" he says. "Do you want to go out and chat with some of the others or stay while I talk to John?"

"I'll stay please I'd like to hear what John has to say" I say.

John smiles, "well it is my professional opinion that Denise has unresolved grief from when her mom died, she didn't get to grieve properly as she felt responsible for the wellbeing of her younger siblings. Her father didn't cope very well with her mother's death and she felt she had to be strong for him and for her sisters and she took on the role as parent to them, would you say that is a fair assessment Denise?" John says.

I nod, "dad couldn't help it, mom was the love of his life. I know how he felt now since Josh died" I say a little defensively.

John nods, "I'm not blaming him Denise, I'm just stating the facts as I see them" he says.

"Oh ok" I say.

John smiles again and then continues, "Then there was the suicide of Denise's best friend, she was raped by her boyfriend and I think that entire episode affected Denise more than she has ever acknowledged. Then of course we have Josh's death and the issues which surround that, which are complex to say the very least. She has been through so much over the past five years and I think it is incredible she is still as together as she is, and now she is facing the life changing situation of motherhood and everything that entails so we have a lot of complex issues which need resolving".

Dr Travis smiles, "But nothing is insurmountable" he says confidently. "I am confident we can get you healthy and positive eventually, it's going to be hard work and take time but I am sure that we can find the right coping mechanisms for you, something healthier than self harming".

I smile gratefully, "I really hope so!" I say.

"I'm sure of it" Dr Travis replies.

We leave Dr Travis's strange office and I am feeling quietly confident. John looks at me as leave the building.

"What do you think?" he asks me.

I nod, "I like him he seems nice. He helped my mom so that's a big plus, I think he will help me" I say.

John smiles, "I'm glad to hear it, Travis is a good man and although some of his methods are unconventional and unorthodox he gets results which speak for themselves.

I look at the car, and then at Paul who is waiting patiently. "I'd like to walk Paul" I say he looks at me carefully and nods, "Is that going to be a problem though?" I add.

Paul smiles at me, "No not at all, he makes a quick call and then we head off down the street.

"What do you want to do now?" John asks gently, "and more importantly do you want me hanging around with you?" he asks with a smile.

I nod, "yeah, I'd like to just explore a bit" I say and John nods.

We wander up and down the meandering streets and I feel my phone buzz I check it and see a text from Liv.

_**Where are you?**_

I quickly respond; _**exploring the area, want to join me?**_

Her response is immediate - _**You bet!**_ I turn to Paul.

"Liv wants to join us, with our exploring can you arrange with Davis for us to meet somewhere?" I ask.

Paul nods and pulls out his phone, about ten minutes later I see my sister marching purposely towards me.

"Where's granddad?" I ask.

"He's at home he said he'd give us some time alone" she says. I nod and link my arm in hers and we walk down another street.

"Look, I think I'll head back and keep your grandfather company" John says a few moments later.

I turn and hug him, "thank you John" I say. Paul gives him the keys to the abandoned SUV so he can drive back to my grandfather's house and John disappears back to the car. As we continue with our exploring we turn a corner and walk straight into a tall blond haired man, who is texting and not watching where he is going. I take a step back and my eyes fix on his heavily tattooed arms.

"Shit, sorry" he gasps as he collides with us, he looks at me and then stares at Liv as he does so his eyes wide almost as if he recognise her and Paul and Davis immediately step closer.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to stare but you look uncannily like someone I used to know" he says his eyes still fixed on Liv, she looks at me and I immediately go into protective big sister mode.

"Yeah well she is fifteen years old so she clearly isn't the person you are thinking of so stop gaping at her" I snap. To my surprise he then gives me a hard look and then grins at me.

"If you both are who I think you are, then you are your father's clone" he says.

I take a step back and Paul tries to usher us away but I put my hand up to stop him.

"Who do you think I am then?" I challenge.

"Well… with those blue eyes, black hair and those features my immediate hunch is that you are Gideon Cross's daughter" he says.

My mouth drops open, "who are you?" I ask.

He smiles at me, "I'll take that as a yes then. I knew your mother years ago, back in the day I was in a band, we were quite big for a while when we got signed by Vidal Records but all good things come to an end and now I happily live in obscurity and anonymity" he says.

I stare at him I estimate him to be around my dad's age, my eyes wander over his tattooed arms once more, "So… you know my dad?" I ask. He nods I see his expression shift slightly. "What's your name?" I ask.

"Brett Kline" he says quietly.

The name means nothing to me but I make a mental note of it to ask my dad later when I speak to him.

"Well Brett Kline, it was nice meeting you" I say, holding my hand out.

He grins at me, and accepts the handshake. "Tell your mom I said hi" he says, and I stiffen and stare at him.

"Is that some kind of fucking sick joke?" I snap.

He looks at me in confusion and shakes his head.

I realise that he has no idea my mom died. "My mom died about five years ago" I say, my anxiety levels ratcheting up as I think about it. Paul places a comforting hand on my shoulder and Liv grasps my hand.

His mouth drops open and he stares in disbelief at me, "Oh I didn't know shit… fuck… I'm so sorry" he says.

I look at him he really does look devastated, "You really had no idea did you?" I ask.

He shakes his head, I look at him and I see he has tears in his eyes, and I reach out and touch his arm.

"She had a brain tumour, we had no idea because she didn't start getting symptoms until it was too late, my dad tried everything to save her, he flew in specialists from all over the world to try and help her but there was nothing anyone could do" I explain in a gentler tone.

"I'm so sorry" he says.

I look around and spot a cafe across the road, "Look do you want to go and sit and have a coffee or something, and I'd like to know about how you know my mom?" I ask. I feel Paul stiffen beside me, and I glance up at him.

Brett Kline thinks for a moment and nods and we walk in silence towards the café. I see Paul texting furiously and I know he is probably telling Raul what is happening.

We sit down in the cafe and Liv sits beside me staring at the man. He looks at her, "I take it you are Eva's daughter too, because you look just like her?" he asks her.

She nods, but doesn't say anything.

"Did you know my mom got married?" I ask.

He nods at me, "The last time I saw your mom I think it was either just before or just after she married your dad, as I say my band was signed with Vidal Records" he says.

I stare at him, I used to spend hours when I was younger going through the archives of Vidal Records with Uncle Christopher and listening to the various artists who had been with them.

"What was the name of the band?" I ask.

"Six Ninths" he replies.

I don't remember seeing anything by them, but it was a long time ago.

I am pulled from my memories by my phone as it starts ringing; I glance at it and see it is my father calling.

"Dad!" I say brightly as I answer.

"Denise, Raul tells me you are with Brett Kline, get the fuck away from him" he growls.

I stare at the phone in shock at his aggressive tone, "hey calm down dad, I'm fine and Liv is fine Paul and Davis are here, what is your problem?" I ask.

"Is that Gideon?" Brett asks and I nod.

"May I?" he says and holds his hand out, I pause and then putting the phone on speaker I place it on the table in front of me.

"Dad, Mr Kline wants to speak to you, and you are on speaker in a busy cafe so be nice" I say.

"You stay the fuck away from my daughters Kline!" my dad spits down the phone. I roll my eyes, so much for being nice!

I watch Brett's reaction and he isn't offended by how my dad spoke to him, he almost seems to accept and understand it. "Look Cross, I bumped into them it was purely accidental, and coincidental I have no interest whatsoever in your daughters or you for that matter, it was just one of those things… but I was sorry to hear about Eva. Genuinely I'm sorry for your loss man I had no idea" he says, and I can hear the emotion in his voice.

My father is silent for a few moments then he speaks again. "Just be careful Denise" he snaps and then hangs up. I look at Liv and she shrugs.

We both turn to Brett Kline and I raise my eyebrows, "What was all that about?" I ask.

He runs his hands through his hair, and sighs, he hesitates a moment and then speaks "your mom and I used to date long before she met your dad. I was young and stupid and when we signed with Vidal we reconnected again, but by this point she was with your dad but I decided that I wanted her back and I pursued her aggressively and I made some stupid decisions in my pursuit of her. Your dad was naturally pissed at me for what I did, as he just wanted to protect her" he says.

I smile at him, "You _really_ dated my mom?" I ask.

He nods and smiles wistfully at the memory, "I did, and I loved her but I was more interested in being a rock star and we split" he says. He looks at Liv, "You look so like your mom" he says. I watch him carefully.

"What happened with your band?" I ask.

He shrugs, "We had a few hits but after a while we split and I met someone settled down and grew up" he says with a grin.

"So you're married?" I ask.

He shakes his head, "Divorced" he says, "We have kids so we try and stay civil" he says.

"DAD!" we all look up at the call and see a tall blond haired young man strolling towards us, and he slaps Brett on the shoulder.

He looks at me and Liv and smiles "Hi" he says. I feel my breath catch as I look at him; he has amazing bright green eyes which are currently fixed on me.

"Hello" we both reply in unison.

Brett looks at us, "This is my son Nick" he says, the young man extends his hand towards us I stand and shake it warmly.

"Hi I'm Denise Cross and this is my sister Olivia" I say, I shiver as I touch his hand and a surge of electricity goes through me.

"Pleased to meet you" he replies, "How do you know my dad?" he asks.

We shake our heads, "We don't, we literally walked into him a short while ago, but we have discovered that he knows our parents. I say.

Nick's eyes widen and he looks questioningly at his dad.

"They are Gideon Cross's daughters" he says ruefully.

Nick's mouth drops open and he stares openly at us, "Wow" he says.

"Shut your mouth you look like you're catching flies" I say to him sarcastically.

He obligingly shuts his mouth and grins at me, "So what are you doing in San Diego?" he asks.

"Visiting my grandfather" I say evasively.

I can see Paul and Davis looking more and more agitated and I decide to wrap this up.

"Look we have to go, our grandfather is expecting us back" I say and I stand up, I see Nick's eyes gravitate toward my stomach. Yeah I'm pregnant have you never seen a pregnant woman before? I glare at him daring him to say something but he doesn't he just smiles at me again.

"It was nice meeting you" I say to Brett, "come on Liv we need to get back" I say.

With that I throw some money on the table to cover our drinks and leave.

"Do you get the impression there is a story there?" Liv asks when we get outside.

"Definitely!" I reply, "and I am going to find out what it is" I add.

We arrive back at our grandfather's house and John smiles at us as we enter.

"Did you have a good time exploring?" he asks.

"Yes thank you" I say, I turn to my granddad. "We bumped into a guy who knew mom" I say casually. I watch my grandfathers eyebrows raise in surprise.

"Oh yes?" he says clearly on alert.

"Relax, he was cool, and Paul and Davis were with us" I say.

"Does he have a name?" he asks.

I nod, "He said his name was Brett Kline and he used to date mom years before she met dad, and he said he was in a band" I say.

My grandfather's mouth drops open, "Well now! Brett Kline, there is a blast from the past!" he says, and he shakes his head.

"Did you know him?" I ask.

"I knew _of_ him, he was in a band called Captive Soul... Captive Heart something like that anyway, they changed their name and became Six Ninths when they were signed up – your mom was seeing him for a while before they made it big and changed their name" he explains. "He reconnected with your mom soon after they signed with Vidal Records, and of course your mom was with Gideon then and I believe he caused a bit of trouble, I don't know the in's and out's of it but there was some trouble, but it was a long time ago" he says.

"I'll have to ask dad about it" I say.

The rest of the afternoon passes without incident and its early evening when Uncle Christian and Aunt Ana arrive back from Los Angeles.

"So how did it go with Dr Travis?" Uncle Christian asks me. We are sitting out on the front porch Liv has gone to bed and Aunt Ana is talking to my grandfather.

"Good, he seems nice I think I'm going to be able to work well with him" I say confidently, I watch as my uncle smiles.

"That's good, I'm pleased to hear it, because that means I can go home" he says. He smiles at me, "I promised your dad I wouldn't leave California until I was sure you were settled and happy" he explains at my confused look.

I nod and take a sip of the warm tea I am drinking. "Uncle Christian, can I ask you something?" I say carefully.

"You know you can" he replies looking carefully at me.

"Do you know someone called Brett Kline?" I ask.

I watch surprise, no shock cross my uncle's face. "Jeez that's a name from the past I never expected to hear again. He was the lead singer of a band who was signed to Vidal Records and he had a thing about your mother. They hooked up a few times before your mom met your dad, and when his band hit the big time they reconnected through your father and he wanted to pick up where they left off and was pretty aggressive about it, what on earth made you bring him up?" he asks.

I smile, "Because Liv and I literally walked into him today, we had no idea who he was but he said he believed I was Gideon Cross's daughter and he said Liv reminded him of mom, we talked for a while… we were fine I mean we had Paul and Davis with us Paul told Raul, and it got back to dad and he called me from Indiana telling us to get away from him. I told him to chill as it seemed he was having a complete meltdown about it and I wondered what was so wrong with the guy because he seemed nice". I explain.

My uncle stares at me, "I see, wait… you said your dad was in Indiana, what the hell is he doing there?" he asks.

I shrug, "I don't know, I called him earlier saying we had arrived and he told me that he was in Indiana helping out a friend, he said he would call me tonight sometime when he got back to New York and explain everything, so when he called earlier to kick off about us being with Brett Kline I assumed he was still in Indiana" I say.

"Oh, I thought he was spending the day finishing up at LanCorp?" my uncle says.

"So did I" I say.

Almost as if my father planned it he calls my cell, it is on the small table in front of me and starts buzzing, I glance at it and see my father's face and name on the screen and I quickly answer.

"Hi daddy" I say.

"Denise, how are you, are you alright and Liv are you both ok?" he asks anxiously.

I roll my eyes as I quickly try and reassure him, "Dad, we are fine honestly, nothing bad happened, although I do have some questions about Brett Kline I would like to ask you" I say.

"I thought you might" he says wearily.

"But more importantly right now, Uncle Christian is here with me and we both want to know what you were doing in Indiana?" I ask.

There is a long silence and I wonder why he isn't saying anything. "Because you said you'd explain when I spoke to you earlier?" I push.

"I did" he says, I put the call on speaker and place the phone on the table. "You are on speaker now daddy" I say.

"Hey Bro!" Uncle Christian calls.

"Christian! How did things go in Los Angeles?" my father asks and I realise he is trying to shift attention away from what I want to know.

My uncle grins, "Very well better than anticipated" he replies, "But come on spill why the trip to Indiana of all places?" I smile at Uncle Christian as he has also realised what my dad was doing.

My dad sighs, "I had to do it, that woman who turned down the relocation… the one who I offered a place at Cross Industries - Josephine Harris. Her mother is in hospital in Lafayette, Indiana fighting cancer and she has barely had the resources to maintain the condition let alone actually fight it so I stepped in. I flew her to Indiana today to visit her mother and I have paid all her medical bills and arranged for her to have surgery and all the treatment she needs" he says.

Uncle Christian and I look at each other in surprise, "Why would you do that?" Uncle Christian asks.

There is another significant pause, "Because she is a nice person who has had enough shit thrown her way, when her husband died and I wanted to help her. I don't have to explain myself. I just remember how I didn't think twice about flying in specialists to help Eva, but this woman was struggling to get basic treatment. I can afford it so I did it" my dad sounds defensive and I see my uncle smile, he glances at me again his eyebrows raised.

"Ok keep your hair on" Uncle Christian says.

"Denise take me off speaker" my dad says and I pick up my phone and I do it.

"Ok you are off speaker" I say "What's going on dad?" I ask.

"Nothing, that's the whole point. I did what was right I don't want anyone reading any more into this, and jumping to conclusions" he says irritably.

"I didn't say a word dad, and for the record I think you did a really nice thing. You are a good man and you don't have to justify anything you do to me" I say.

Once again there is another silence, "So how did things go with Dr Travis? You think you can work with him and he can help you? My dad asks changing the subject completely.

"Yeah it went well I think I can work with him" I say.

"That's good, is Liv in bed?" he asks.

"Yes she is" I say.

We talk a while longer and I mention again that I want to ask questions about Brett Kline and my dad says he will answer them but not tonight. He speaks privately to my uncle and then he says goodnight.

"What was all that about?" I ask Uncle Christian when my father has gone.

He smiles at me, "I'm not sure, and I don't want to jump to conclusions but I believe something may have happened when your dad met Josephine Harris" he says.

"What? Do you mean he likes her?" I ask my excitement rising, I would love to see my dad meet someone and fall in love again.

My uncle raises his hands, "As I say I don't want to jump to conclusions but when I walked in on them talking at LanCorp the other day there was a distinct atmosphere in the room, and it seems strange he has done this for someone he barely knows" he says.

I smile widely, "I'd love to see him meet someone and fall in love again" I say.

My uncle nods but he looks serious "Yes but let's not rush this as if I know your dad he will deny his feelings thinking he is being unfaithful to your mother, he needs to work this out for himself and in his own time if it is what we are assuming" he says.

I nod, "Yes but surely we can give him a little shove in the right direction?" I say.

To my surprise he shakes his head, "No, he needs to do this himself" he says.

**(GIDEON)**

I hang up the call to Denise and throw my phone on the table. I look around the silent apartment. I go and I stand watching my youngest daughter sleeping soundly in her room. It feels strange it just being Zoe and myself here and I feel guilty about how she is feeling at the moment, she had a meltdown when I arrived home this evening as she was feeling abandoned what with Liv and Denise leaving New York and then I just upped and left and went to Indiana. How could I have been so thoughtless? I should have anticipated it, but I didn't, what kind of parent does that make me? She is sleeping peacefully now and is totally relaxed but earlier was a totally different matter. On top of everything else that happened today I am now thinking it was a stupid thing I did earlier taking off to Indiana, I should never have done it. I quietly walk away and head to my own bed reflecting on everything that has happened today.

My mind goes back to the moment in the hospital when Raul informed me that my daughters had met Brett Kline, that wasn't on my radar at all. I knew he had melted away into obscurity after Six Ninths had split up, he had married and had a family, and I was relieved about that, we had come to an uneasy truce after he realised he was being manipulated by Christopher but the fact he had feelings for Eva always made me jittery. My mind goes back to earlier today...

_"Sir, may I have a word" Raul sidles up to me as we are waiting for Dr Finch to return with details of when the surgery is going to happen._

_"What is it?" I ask lazily._

_"There appears to be a situation in California Sir" he says._

_I immediately stand and terror spikes through me, "What, Denise? Is she ok? She hasn't done anything has she?" I ask._

_"No sir, but Paul has just called me, apparently they bumped into a man who claims to know you and ... Mrs Cross" he says._

_I stare at him, "Claims to know me... and Eva?" I ask._

_Raul nods, "Brett Kline" he says carefully._

_I feel my stomach drop at the name, "Are you sure?" I ask._

_Raul nods, Davis has photographed him and sent it to me and it's him there's no doubt". He shows the photograph and I stare at it, the familiar tattooed arms and blonde hair, it's in a different style now and the platinum tips have gone and the man in the picture has aged but its unquestionably him. I start to pace and Josephine sees my distress she stands and puts her hand on my arm._

_"Gideon, what is it? Can I help?" she asks gently._

_I shake my head, "No it's my daughter she is California and ..." I stop._

_"If you are worried, call her" she says simply, "I'm sure she won't mind" she says._

_I stare at her the simplicity of her answer and the obviousness of it, I nod my head and pull out my phone and place the call._

_"Dad!" I hear Denise's exuberant greeting and my heart leaps, she sounds happy. I am more relieved by that than I realised I would be, and now I am going to destroy that, but I don't want her near him._

_"Denise, Raul tells me you are with Brett Kline, get the fuck away from him" I say roughly._

_There is a silence for a moment then she speaks she can tell I am upset and she is trying to soothe me, "hey calm down dad, I'm fine Liv is fine Paul and Davis are here what is your problem?" she asks._

_I hear Kline speak in the background "Is that Gideon?" Brett asks, I don't hear Denise reply though. Then I hear him speak again, "May I" he says._

_I hear the phone being put down and then Denise speaks again "Dad, Mr Kline wants to speak to you, you are on speaker in a busy cafe so be nice" she says._

_I roll my eyes at her words and before I can stop myself the words come out of my mouth in a rush "You stay the fuck away from my daughters Kline!" I snarl._

_I hear him speak not in the defiant tone he always used with me when it came to personal matters but he sounds sad and sympathetic, "Look Cross, I bumped into them it was purely accidental, and coincidental I have no interest in your daughters or you for that matter, it was just one of those things… but I was sorry to hear about Eva, genuinely I'm sorry for your loss man I had no idea" he says, and I can hear the emotion in his voice._

_He did love her and it is obvious he had no idea she had died, and the news has clearly affected him. My anger drains away, I have no idea what to say or do, "Just be careful Denise" I snap and then hang up. I push my phone into my pocket and sink back down on to the seat and put my head in my hands. I feel a gentle hand on my shoulder._

_"It's none of my business but do you want to talk about it?" Josephine asks quietly._

_I turn and look at her and I see the genuine concern in her eyes, and before I know what I am doing I am spilling my guts to her._

_"My daughter is going through a rough time at the moment and she and her sister have gone to stay with her grandfather, Eva's father. It appears they have met someone from Eva's past someone who she dated before she married me and he caused some trouble when we first got together, he wanted her back and was quite aggressive about it, I don't want him near my daughters" I say._

_She nods, "Of course you don't, but it was a long time ago, Gideon he must have moved on by now after all these years, did you speak to him, how did he sound to you?" she asks._

_"Genuine" I reply grudgingly._

_"There you go then, don't worry about a chance meeting, I'm sure your daughters will tell you if anything untoward happens" she says._

_"They have security with them, so they are protected and my father in law is a cop so he will know what to do if Kline tries anything" I say, I know I am trying to convince myself but Josephine nods._

_"There you go then" she says._

_I smile at her, "Thank you" I say._

_She smiles that beautiful smile once more. "What are friends for?" she says._

_We get everything organised for Josephine's mother and I meet Mrs Booth who thanks me profusely for my help, she asks to speak with me alone and Josephine leaves us._

_Mrs Booth stares at me as if she is summing me up, if I am honest I am little unnerved as it feels as though she too is looking right inside me, but this feels like an inquisition._

_"Thank you Mr Cross, I can't begin to thank you for what you are doing" she says._

_I just wave my hand dismissively, "It's nothing" I say._

_"Why are you doing this?" she asks._

_I pause, and decide to go with honesty, I don't want to bullshit this woman and I have a feeling she would spot it a mile away if I try._

_I sit down in the chair beside her bed, "Honestly, I have no idea, I met your daughter and..." I stop I look at Mrs Booth and I decide to be __totally__ honest._

_"I don't want Josephine to know this, but when I met her I was going to make her redundant, my brother had offered her a position within his company at GEH in Seattle but she refused to accept it, I had no need for any more PR personnel with Cross Industries and so as much as it grieved me the only option was to make her redundant. My brother and I had tried our hardest to avoid any redundancies and as far as I was concerned we had succeeded. Your daughter was the only one, when I met her I asked why she had turned Christian down as I saw the packages he put together for the employees he took and they were outstanding. She told me that she couldn't leave New York because her husband was there, I assumed immediately she was married and her husband's work took priority, but then she went on to tell me her story and she reminded me of me. I know that I could never leave New York because my late wife is also buried there, as we talked I realised she had never recovered after the death of her husband and it struck a chord with me. I have no idea why I did it but I offered her a position at Cross Industries. It wasn't a business decision and it's not something I am accustomed to doing. She went on to tell me how she was supporting you and that clinched it for me. I just wanted to help, she has no health insurance of her own and she was sending every penny she earned to you for your treatment and I remembered how I spent millions flying in specialists from all over the world to try and save my wife when she was sick and how I didn't even bat an eyelid over the cost. As I say her situation struck a chord with me and I knew I had to help her, I couldn't let her lose someone else close to her". I stop and wait to be berated._

_I am surprised when Mrs Booth smiles at me and reaches for my hand, "You are clearly a good man, I saw that as soon as you walked in, and I don't know how to thank you. I have a confession to make, I refused the treatment as I thought my daughter was going short to help me and I couldn't let her do it anymore, I couldn't let that go on. It seems I was right as I was horrified when I saw her today as she is wasting away before my very eyes. She was never a big girl but she is so thin now, and that can only be because she is leaving herself short to help me so thank you Mr Cross for stepping in and for caring" she says. She doesn't say any more but I get the impression she wants to say something else but is holding back._

_Josephine walks in with two cups of coffee and hands one to me._

_"Thank you" I say I take a sip and grimace._

_Josephine sips hers and makes a similar face, "Hmmm not the best coffee I've ever had" she says and I nod in agreement._

_When we leave Indiana, her mother is scheduled for surgery and she is now undertaking a regime of aggressive pre op treatment and her surgery is scheduled for early next week. I have assured Josephine that she will be able to fly out to be with her mother when she goes for surgery and that I will have a plane at her disposal, she seemed overwhelmed by that and asked me that what if I needed it and when I had casually told her I would use one of my other six she had just stared at me._

_We land back in New York just after 8:30 in the evening and after dropping Josephine back home in Brooklyn I head home._

_As soon as I enter the apartment I am met by Zoe who hurls herself at me, she is crying and clinging to me and I immediately pick her up and carry her into the sitting room and sitting down I arrange her so she is sitting on my lap._

_"Hey hey hey come on what's wrong pumpkin?" I ask as she sobs uncontrollably._

_"I thought you'd gone" she sobs, her whole body is shaking._

_"What on earth made you think that?" I ask._

_"Denise and Liv have gone, Liv didn't come home from school and Dennie wasn't here when I came home, then you didn't come home either, and I got scared" she says._

_I hold her tightly and I go through everything, we didn't tell her about Denise and Liv going to California beforehand because I knew she would want to go too, I was going to sit her down and tell her when I got home but I am later than I had planned on being because I had gone to Indiana. I feel so guilty I knew Zoe would be taken care of but I didn't stop to think how she would react when she came home from school and nobody was here, I'm a fucking terrible parent._

_"It's alright pumpkin, I was going to tell you when I got home, but I got delayed. Dennie and Liv have gone somewhere for a while, because Dennie isn't feeling too good and she wanted to get away from New York after everything that has happened and Liv went with her to keep her company. Something came up at work and I was delayed in getting home, I'm so sorry you must have been so worried" I say._

_She relaxes slightly "It's ok, Andy told me everything was fine and you would explain everything when you got home but then you didn't come home and I thought you'd gone too" she says._

_I shake my head and squeeze her gently, "Never, I would never leave you. You, Dennie and Liv are the most important people in my life why would I want to leave you?" I ask._

_She stares at me and smiles weakly, "Ok" she sniffs._

_"Have you had some dinner?" I ask._

_She nods, "Aunty Ireland came round and made me something, Andy called her when you didn't come home and she sat with me and she told me that you had probably been delayed at work, but when she tried to call you and she couldn't get through to you I got more worried" she says._

_I close my eyes; I had switched off my cell phone when I was in the air._

_"Where's Aunty Ireland now?" I ask gently._

_"In the kitchen with Andy" she says._

_As she says this my sister walks into the sitting room and stops as she sees me then her hands go to her hips and she glares angrily at me._

_"Where the hell have you been? I have trying to call you and it just kept going to voicemail?" she accuses._

_"I'm sorry, something came up and... my battery died, I didn't notice" I lie._

_Ireland nods "Ok, well make sure you charge it, and check your voicemail I left a few messages" she says._

_I nod, "I will and thank you for taking care of Zoe for me" I say carefully._

_"No problem" she says in a slightly less aggressive tone, then she glances at her watch, "Look I'll head off now you're home" she says._

_I ease Zoe off my knee and walk Ireland to the door. "Thank you and I'm very grateful for how you stepped in like you did. I'm sorry I was thoughtless and I won't do it again" I say._

_Ireland hugs me, "We were worried about you" she says quietly._

_It hadn't occurred to me that anyone would be worried about me, "I'm sorry" I say again._

_Ireland shakes her head at me and smiles, "Never mind, you're here now. I left you something to eat. Your housekeeper has stocked up your freezer and I got something out of there for Zoe, and I dished some up for you, so it just needs to be warmed up" she says._

_"Thank you" I reply._

_Ireland shakes her head in exasperation "Don't fucking do it again!" she says with a grin and then she taps my cheek playfully and I know I'm forgiven._

_With that she leaves and I head back to Zoe, with the clear plan of having something to eat and then calling Denise before I turn in…_

My mind comes back to the here and now and I am lying in bed staring at the ceiling what the fuck was I thinking? My daughter needed me and what the hell was I doing?

I turn on my side and switch off the light and close my eyes.


	27. Chapter 27

CHAPTER 27

_I am walking along the beach the sun is shining down on me, it's warm and peaceful and I am alone, then I hear her._

_"__Gideon" I turn and see Eva walking towards me, I smile and hold my arms open, I hear the waves crashing on the beach as she walks towards me._

_I start walking towards her and she comes into my arms I kiss her and my hands roam over her body._

_"__Angel" I whisper, she doesn't answer me she just holds me tightly and hugs me I wonder what the matter is, "Angel what is it?" I ask._

_"__I've come to say goodbye Gideon" she says to me._

_No, what is she saying? I pull away but keep a grip on her arms and stare at her, she is looking at me and smiling. I shake my head and grip her arms tighter._

_"__It's time Gideon, you need to let me go, you need to move on" she touches my cheek I feel panic no, what is she saying, I shake my head and pull her closer._

_"__Eva don't go, please" I beg._

_She touches my cheek, "Gideon it's time, you will remember all the times we had together, we have three beautiful daughters who you are raising so well, I am so proud of you and them, you are going to be a grandfather and you have so much love to give, so don't fight it Gideon, you know it feels right so go with it… you know she's right for you baby. She won't hurt you, she has been hurt too much herself, just take it slowly and be happy with her" she says._

_I stare at her, I have no idea what she is saying I shake my head and try to pull her towards me._

_"__Eva please!" I beg._

_"__I will always love you Gideon but it's time to let me go and move on" she says, she starts to slowly disappear and as she does so she points behind me._

_"__Eva, EVA!" I scream but she's gone. I turn and look behind me, I see a small thin lonely figure walking alone along the beach, I shield my eyes against the sun and look, who the hell is that? I realise I am walking towards her as if I am drawn to her and I hear Eva's voice encouraging me._

_"__Go on baby, go on, just go to her and be happy" I turn around and look for Eva but she isn't there, I take another step towards the figure and then I recognise her – Josephine Harris, I stop, what the fuck! I hardly know the woman, what the fuck is this? I shake my head and I try and turn away._

_"__Eva!" I call, "Eva where are you angel?" I call._

_I hear Eva's voice faintly "In your heart baby always in your heart, but it's time to let someone else in now, your heart is big enough to love someone else" I can hear her but I can't see her, I look around the beach frantically and then I collapse into the sand and cry._

_"__DAD!" I hear my daughter I look up and walking towards me is Denise, then I see Liv and Zoe join her then I hear a small child's voice and running towards me is a small boy._

_"__GRANDDAD!" I stare at the child, who looks at Denise for guidance and she points at me, I turn my head towards the figure in the distance she has seen me and is watching me, she is smiling but making no attempt to come towards me. I stand up and the small boy runs straight past me and to the figure I watch as he encourages her to come closer, and I want her to I want her to join us, my daughters are standing with me and they are encouraging her closer and I start to walk towards her and I hear Eva voice again faintly in my head._

_That's it baby go to her..._

I wake with a jolt, what the fuck was all that about? I am sweating and I sit up breathing heavily. I glance at the clock and it says it is nearly 4am, I rub my hands roughly over my face I am feeling confused and anxious. I want to talk to someone and yet I have no idea who. I quickly calculate it is nearly 1am in California and Seattle, too late to call anyone there, and I can't disturb anyone here in New York at this hour, just as I am debating what to do my phone rings I look and see it is Denise and I quickly answer worried that she is struggling and needs me.

"Denise, baby girl what's wrong?" I ask the panic evident in my voice.

"Nothing, did I wake you dad?" she says calmly.

"No I was awake, I had just woken up a few moments ago" I say.

"Did you have a bad dream?" she asks anxiously.

"No, why are you calling me?" I ask.

There is a long pause before she answers, "Honestly? I don't know why, this is going to sound weird but I just had a bad feeling. It worried me and so I called you I know that I'm just being stupid, I'm sorry to call you so late it must be nearly 4am in New York" she says.

"No, sweetheart honestly it's ok, actually you were right and you called at just the right time as I need someone to talk to… I had a strange dream and I just..." I stop.

"What was it about? Was it one of your nightmares about your past, I thought they'd stopped?" she asks me.

I jump in quickly to reassure her as I can hear the worry in her voice. "No it was about your mother, I dream about her most nights... but tonight was different she told me it was time for me to move on and love someone else. You were in it and Liv and Zoe and your son, but your son was about 2 or 3 years old in it… and there was someone else, and your mom encouraged me to go to her. I'm confused and I don't know what to do, because I have only just met this person and I am just trying to be a friend because she is like me she, she lost her husband and I believe she is still grieving for her husband and I... she... but I've only just met her" I say.

"Dad, it's ok. Look listen to me a moment and humour me here, when did you know you loved mom?" she asks me.

"You know this" I start.

I hear her tut "I know I do, I said just humour me, so do it" she replies.

I smile at the exasperated tone and I answer her question, "From the moment I first saw her, I was in my car and..." I say and Denise cuts me off.

"I know the story dad, you were in the Bentley going to a meeting with Angus and she stopped right outside and you couldn't take your eyes off her so when she went into the Crossfire you forgot all about your meeting and you followed her and she fell on her ass at your feet and you were hooked" she says with a giggle.

I smile, "I was" I say.

"So having said that… it's not beyond the realms of possibility that you could fall in love again with someone who you have just met?" she says.

"NO... I just can't" I snap.

"Ok, it's just a thought dad, if you don't think so then that's fine, but just don't dismiss anything ok" she says.

I think about what she said and I go through how I felt when I first met Josephine, that first meeting but I quickly dismiss it, "I can't... I just can't Denise, I love your mom and then I have you three to consider" I say.

I hear her sigh, "Dad, if you want my honest opinion, and don't get upset about this, I think you like this woman. You have just met her and you are conflicted because of your feelings for mom, and that is what your dream was about. I don't believe in ghosts and life after death and all that and people coming back to talk to their loved ones. I personally think it was your subconscious and it was telling you that you really like this woman and that it's ok for you to like her. You will always love mom but mom's gone and it's ok to love someone else and be happy, as for us well… we all just want you to be happy dad because you deserve it" she says.

I feel tears building in my eyes as I listen to my daughter, "What about you Denise, what if someone told you that?" I ask.

There is another long pause before she answers and I worry I have upset her, "I know it sounds hypocritical but it's just far too soon yet for me dad. Josh has only just died very recently, but mom has been gone five years. It's time for you dad, so take it slow and if she is still grieving her husband she is just like you and probably thinking the same things you are if she likes you too. So I say be this woman's friend and if things happen and evolve don't fight it. See what happens and where it goes" she says and then I hear her yawn.

"You need to get some sleep" I say, but I am thinking about everything she has just said and it all makes sense.

"Yes I will, are you ok dad?" she asks.

I smile at her obvious concern, "Yes I am, now you need to go to bed, you have that grandson of mine to consider as well as yourself" I say.

"Yes dad" she says sarcastically.

"Denise" I say warningly.

I hear her giggle, "Goodnight dad" she says.

"Goodnight Denise and I call you tomorrow" I promise.

"You mean later today, at a more reasonable hour" she says with another giggle.

"Yes alright Miss Smart Mouth!" I say sarcastically.

She giggles again and I can't help but smile when I hear it. I feel much better now and I'm glad she called me.

"Goodnight dad, you need to sleep too as I'm sure Zoe will have you doing all sorts all weekend considering she has you totally to herself. You will need your 'A' game to keep up with her!" she says.

"Yes you are probably right, goodnight baby girl" I say.

"Goodnight dad" she repeats and then the line goes dead, for a moment I feel a slight sense of bereavement as the silence spreads over me. But I put down my phone and settle back down and close my eyes again.

**oooOOOooo**

The next day Denise is proved right as Zoe is delighted to have me to herself and we have a fun packed day. When we eventually decide to call it a day Zoe wants to walk home through Central Park, I am more exhausted than if I had done a day's work and an hour with my trainer and I look helplessly at Raul but the bastard just grins at me! As we are walking through the park I see a woman sitting sketching she is sitting quietly with a large pad on her knee and as I look at her she looks familiar and as I move closer I see it is Josephine.

"Josephine?" I ask cautiously.

She looks up in surprise and a beautiful bright smile fills her face, which makes my breath catch, "Gideon, how lovely to see you" she says.

"What are you doing here in Central Park?" I ask as I sit down beside her.

"I love to draw, it's one of my hobbies, and Central Park is one of my most favourite places in the world" she says and smiles sadly.

I remember our conversation when we first met, and she said her husband proposed in Central Park. Josephine is looking at Zoe who is staring at the picture she is drawing.

"Hello" Josephine says quietly to Zoe.

Zoe grins at her, "Hello, what's your name?" she asks.

Josephine smiles at her, "My name is Josephine, what's yours?" she asks.

Zoe hesitates and looks at me for guidance, "It's ok pumpkin you can tell Josephine, I know her and you are with me so it's ok" I say, I turn to Josephine, "She has been told not to tell strangers her name" I explain and Josephine nods in agreement.

"That's very wise, you must never give information about yourself to strangers" she says.

Zoe nods, "but you know daddy and daddy says you do so it's ok?" she says.

I nod at her. She smiles at Josephine and holds out her hand politely, I'm Zoe Cross" she says.

Josephine shakes her hand "I'm very pleased to meet you Zoe Cross!" she says.

"You can just call me Zoe if you want to" Zoe says seriously.

I smile and shake my head, "I apologise for my daughter" I whisper.

Josephine shakes her head, "No don't she's lovely" she says, she watches Zoe taking an interest in her picture and she turns it to show her, "do you like it?" she asks.

Zoe nods, "I do, but I'd add a bit more shading here" she says pointing to an area.

"Zoe" I say warningly.

Josephine looks and then looks towards the area of the park she is drawing, "You know Zoe you are totally right thank you, do you like drawing?" she asks.

Zoe beams at her, "Yes I do" she says.

At this Josephine immediately rummages in her battered bag and hands her a smaller sketch pad and a pencil "Here why don't you draw something in here?" she says.

Zoe opens the sketchpad and gasps at the pictures as she finds a blank page, when she finds one she stares at Josephine for a moment and then starts to draw. Zoe is an excellent artist and I watch as the pencil darts over the paper and Josephine watches in surprise.

"She's very good" she whispers to me.

"I know" I reply with pride.

"So what are you doing in Central Park Gideon?" she asks me, pausing with her own drawing.

"I'm just enjoying my weekend with my daughter and she is enjoying having me to herself, as I said previously my elder daughters are in California at the moment" I say.

Josephine smiles, "How many daughters do you have?" she asks me.

I raise my eyebrows in surprise, "Didn't Google tell you that?" I ask teasingly.

She blushes and puts her head down, "I'm sorry I didn't mean to pry" she says.

I immediately feel bad, "No honestly it's ok" I say hurriedly, "It's just I know you found out a lot about me online that's all, I'm just joking" I say.

Josephine smiles at me but doesn't say anything.

"I have three daughters" I say, "Denise is my eldest she is nearly seventeen and she is going through a rough time at the moment, actually she has been for a while when Eva died I fell apart and Dennie stepped up and became parent to her sisters I told myself I was providing for them and doing a good job but I wasn't… not really. I provided materially for them and went through the motions but I wasn't there for them if you get what I mean. Denise held everyone together and she put aside her own grief. I'll never forgive myself for doing that to her, but recently she had a few other things happen, her best friend who she has known for years died, and then her boyfriend was killed in a car accident and to top everything off she is pregnant. She was on contraception but it failed and she became pregnant. She has had to deal with so much and its now finally taking its toll on her" I stop as I think about Denise and my guilt for my part in the issues she is now struggling with, I physically shake myself and smile.

"Then there is Olivia, she has just turned fifteen and she is incredibly close to Dennie, as much as Denise is like me physically Olivia is Eva's double, then we have Zoe here, she was a surprise package a few years later, and she is nearly ten" I say. I pause I have just opened up and told this woman everything about my girls, but it felt... right.

"You must be incredibly proud of them all" Josephine says.

I nod and pull out my phone; I pull up my photographs and show her some of Denise and Olivia.

"That is Liv, that was taken at Christmas, and that is Dennie, that was taken at thanksgiving" I say. I scroll through the pictures and I come across the scan picture Denise gave me and I photographed and I show it to Josephine.

"This is my grandson, Denise is about 25/26 weeks pregnant and this was the last scan picture that was taken, this was when they found out he was a little boy" I say.

Josephine looks at me, "So Denise's boyfriend knew he was going to have a son before he died?" she asks.

I nod my head, "He did" I say. I scroll through some more pictures and Josephine touches my hand as one of me and Eva pops up. It's a selfie Eva took of the two of us. We are lying on the beach in Seattle and she raised the camera and snapped it we were both relaxed and happy and it shows.

"Is that your wife?" she asks.

I nod, "Yes that's Eva" I say quietly.

Josephine smiles and pulls out her phone, a battered old one which looks years out of date, she pulls up her photographs and shows me a picture.

"That's my Mike" she says, and she touches the screen as she shows me.

"You made a lovely couple" I say politely.

She smiles sadly, "he was the love of my life" she says.

"As Eva was mine" I say.

We both look up and our eyes meet, I stare at her and I see her breath catch but the moment is broken by Zoe who taps Josephine's arm.

"Jophes...Jos...Jose..." she stammers.

Josephine smiles and turns her attention towards her, "Josephine is a bit of a mouth full why don't you call me Jo or Josie, either is fine" she says.

"Josie, I like Josie" Zoe says with a grin, she thrusts the sketch pad forward and Josephine gasps as she comes face to face with herself... and me.

"Oh my goodness" she says, "Zoe this is incredible, the likeness, you have an amazing talent" she says, she goes to rip out the picture to give it Zoe but Zoe stops her.

"No you can keep it" she says, "I took a photo of it" she says holding up her own phone.

Josephine smiles, "Well Zoe it is your work so you must sign it" she says pushing the pad back to Zoe, who stares at her. Zoe shrugs and writes Zoe Cross neatly in the corner of the picture.

Josephine smiles, "So when you are a famous artist I will proudly own an early Zoe Cross original piece" she says with a smile. She glances at her watch, "I need to go, I have to get home as I said I'd call my mother at 5:30" she explains.

"You have your cell phone" I point out.

Josephine shakes her head and flushes slightly, "I don't have enough credit. I only keep it for incoming calls in case my mother needs to contact me urgently" she says.

"Let me give you a lift home" I say but Josephine shakes her head, Zoe is watching and she hands her phone to Josephine.

"If you need to call your mom you can use my phone" she says earnestly.

I watch Josephine's face crumple and Zoe looks concerned.

"Thank you, you sweet girl that is so kind of you, you obviously get your kindness from your father" she says.

Zoe shrugs, her phone still in her outstretched hand and I quickly step in. "Look why don't you come back to my place you can call your mother from there and perhaps we could have dinner? If you want to, I mean if you don't that's fine" I say.

"Yes and I could show you my drawings?" Zoe chimes in.

I see Josephine hesitate and then smile as she looks at Zoe, "well I'd love to see your pictures Zoe. So I can't really say no can I?" she says.

We arrive at the penthouse and I see her eyes darting around, she immediately looks worried and she looks down, I want to kick myself I am overwhelming her again. I quickly point to the house phone.

"You can use that to call your mother or if you'd prefer there is one in my office you can use" I say.

"This one will be fine thank you" she says, she picks up the phone and I usher Zoe out of the way.

"She's really nice dad, I like her" Zoe says in a loud whisper which wasn't really a whisper at all.

"I like her too" I say before I can stop myself, shit what did I just say? I glance around and Josephine is staring at me and it is obvious that she heard what I said and I smile reassuringly at her. I will make it right when she has finished.

A few moments later Josephine comes into the kitchen, "Thank you for that" she says.

I nod, "No problem, how is your mother?" I ask.

"Fine, she's quite excited about the operation, I know that sounds a strange thing to say but she is and she said to say thank you again for everything you are doing for her" she says.

"No problem" I say, I open the freezer and peruse the contents.

"What would you like to eat? My housekeeper has recently restocked my freezer so I have plenty to choose from" to my surprise, Josephine goes to my fridge instead, and looks inside.

"How about I cook us something? As a thank you, I'm a good cook and I can make something out of nothing, so this well stocked refrigerator will be a joy to use" she says.

I nod, "Thank you, I'd like that" I say. She nods and I watch her as she pulls various items out of the fridge, Zoe moves closer watching with interest.

"Would you like to help me Zoe?" Josephine asks, and Zoe nods enthusiastically.

I sit down and watch and as I do so my phone rings and I pull it out, it's Denise.

"Hey baby girl how are you?" I ask.

"Hi daddy, I'm really good, Dr Travis has seen me again today and he is making everything so clear now it's all making sense, I know now what I have to do, he said he was overwhelmed by how quickly I got it, he said I was obviously desperate to be well" she says.

"That's brilliant news sweetheart" I say and I am genuinely overjoyed to hear that not to mention very relieved.

"What have you been doing today?" she asks brightly.

I let out a small snort of laughter, "I have been run ragged by your sister, and at this moment I am in the kitchen watching Zoe make me some dinner" I say.

"What!?" Denise exclaims.

I laugh, "She has help, I have a friend here too and my friend offered to make dinner and Zoe is helping her" I say.

"Oh, I see… would that be the same friend you went to Indiana with?" Denise asks knowingly.

"It would" I reply stiffly and more than a little defensively.

"Good, well take it steady don't rush anything, and just be yourself" Denise says to me.

I smile at that and shake my head, "Thank you for your advice" I say wryly.

"You're welcome" she replies sarcastically.

"So how come she came over?" Denise asks after a moment's silence.

I sigh, "I bumped into her in Central Park and I invited her back for dinner and she agreed but when confronted with my cooking skills which amount to thawing and warming up she took pity on me and decided she could do better than that" I say. I see Josephine look up at that and smile.

"Don't sell yourself short dad, you know you can cook and you make a mean omelette!" Denise says.

"I'll remember that" I say.

We talk a few moments longer and I get chance to talk to Olivia too, Zoe comes over for a quick word with her sisters and tells them about drawing with Josie and cooking with Josie before she rushes back to her kitchen tasks. I say goodbye and kill the call and I push my phone back in my pocket.

"That was Denise and Olivia checking in" I explain.

Josephine nods and carries on cooking. In no time at all a plate is placed in front of me and I stare at it in bewildered awe.

"How on earth did you create that out of what was in the fridge?" I ask.

Josephine smiles at me, "Years of practice" she says smugly, I look at her plate and I am relieved to see it reasonably full. Zoe is already tucking in and I smile.

"This is delicious" she says between mouthfuls.

"I have to agree with you" I say after I take a mouthful and the different tastes and textures dance on my tongue. "This is amazing" I say.

"I'm glad you like it Gideon" Josephine says.

I look at her and I wonder why she seems a little sad, "Is there something wrong?" I ask.

She shakes her head, "No, it's just what you just said, that is exactly what Michael said the first time I made this for him" she says, she shakes her head, "I'm sorry" she whispers. She looks up at me and I put down my fork and reach my hand across the table towards her.

"It's ok, you love your husband and I get it as I love Eva and always will" I say reassuringly.

"I feel guilty for enjoying myself with you" Josephine says.

I smile at her, and decide to go for honesty and openness, "I do too, I feel as though I am being unfaithful to Eva, I know it sounds ridiculous… but I do" I say.

Josephine moves her hand and grips mine tightly without saying a word.

After our delicious dinner Zoe monopolises Josephine showing her all her all her drawings and art work. I watch as Josephine patiently looks through Zoe's pictures and talks to her about what she likes to draw. I step away to get some drinks and when I return I pause as Zoe asks Josephine a question.

"Do you like my dad?" she asks bluntly.

I wait out of sight as I wait for her response, and I realise I am holding my breath then I hear Josephine's gentle voice. "Yes I do, he is a good man with a kind heart and he deserves to be happy" she says.

I hear Zoe respond to that and what she says almost floors me. "He is, he was sad when mom died, and he has been sad ever since, I mean he laughs and he smiles but not really if you get what I mean, not like how he used to, but today since he saw you in the park he was like how he used to be, when mom was alive, like _really _happy and _really_ smiling" she says.

"Was he?" Josephine asks. I decide to make myself known I walk in with the tray of drinks and I smile at Josephine as I hand one to her.

"Thank you" she says as she accepts it, she looks at me carefully and then she hesitantly touches my arm running her hand down my arm. The sensation of her touch very nearly overwhelms me as I hand Zoe a drink and she gulps it down totally oblivious to the tension in the room around her.

**oooOOOooo**

_Three Weeks Later..._

The past three weeks have been interesting I have been talking daily with Denise. Every evening I have called California and spent a good hour or so talking with her and Olivia and hearing about what they have been doing. I am missing them both like crazy, but I think it has been good for them – Denise in particular she has been making spectacular progress with Dr Travis, and she seems much happier and settled now and I am relieved by her progress. I can't help but worry that the destructive tendencies are still lurking under the surface and it won't take much for her to have a setback. I worry that when she returns to New York and is faced with Landon again all the good work will be put the test and she could slip back into her self destructive ways.

Landon has been eerily quiet since I shut down LanCorp. Janice and his daughters have left New York completely and moved north to Boston. I have spoken to Janice a couple of times and she has asked about Denise and the baby. She knows Denise isn't in New York at the moment but I wasn't stupid enough to let her know where she was.

I have been spending more and more time with Josephine, we are taking things slowly and we are still 'just friends' despite the growing feelings I have for her. I am still struggling to come to terms with the fact I have feelings for another woman – someone other than Eva. I accompanied Josie when she flew out to Indiana on one of my planes to be with her mother when she had her operation, which was a complete success and she has been over for dinner a few more times since that first weekend. I do like her and I know she likes me, but I don't want to fuck this up so I am prepared to take it slowly.

I am back at the Crossfire now, the LanCorp offices are now shut down completely and Josephine is now firmly ensconced within my PR department and I have been getting numerous glowing reports of how brilliant she is and how she can put a positive spin on practically anything and also what a hard conscientious worker she is. I am pleased that I offered her a job here after all. I am just finishing off going through a contract when Raul bursts in without knocking and he is looking grim. I look up at him in surprise and I know something is very wrong.

"What is it?" I ask immediately on alert.

"Landon" he replies.

"What about him?" I ask.

"We have just got word he has boarded a flight to California, how the fuck he has managed to do that I have no idea or why he is going there. We could be jumping to conclusions but I would sooner do that than be complacent" he says.

I am on my feet reaching for my phone as I pull it out of my pocket it vibrates in my hand.

"Cross" I snap.

"Gideon, it's Janice, I'm so sorry Gideon but Ryan has found out that Denise and Olivia are in California, I swear to god I didn't tell him. I mean I didn't know where she was exactly, all I knew was the fact she was out of town, but I will try and find out who did, but he isn't stable Gideon he really isn't" she sounds frantic and I am really worried now, I look at Raul helplessly.

"Janice, I'm handing you over to Raul tell him what you have told me" I say and I give Raul my phone.

I start pacing around my office and I barely register the conversation going on, I pick up my desk phone and call Victor.

"Hello" he says as he answers.

"Victor, it's Gideon" I say, as I fight to control my spiralling emotions.

"Gideon, what's wrong son you sound terrible?" he asks.

"It's Landon, we have just got a heads up he knows Denise is in California and he is on his way out there now as we speak" I say.

"Shit!" he says and there is a pause, "is he dangerous? I mean could he potentially be a threat to their safety or are you just panicking? No offence" Victor says calmly.

"None taken, he's a threat, Janice his estranged wife called me to warn me, she said he's not stable, whatever that means, but I'm worried" I say.

"Right leave it with me, I put the word out and can you send me a clear up to date photograph of Landon and his details so I have all the information I need when I alert my colleagues and put out the word amongst the law enforcement this end and hopefully we can pick him up before he can do anything" he says.

I calm dramatically at this, of course Victor can help put in place sanctions to prevent Landon getting to Denise. I assure him I will get right on it, I notice Raul has hung up and he is waiting for me.

"Hang on Victor" I say, and I turn to Raul, "Raul I want a clear up to date picture of Landon and his details to be sent to Victor immediately and he is going to put the word out and hopefully he will get picked up before he can reach Denise" I say.

Raul nods and leaves the room.

"Ok Raul will send you what you need shortly" I say.

"Good, look don't worry Gideon, leave it with me" Victor says kindly.

I pace around some more, part of me wants to jump on a plane and head out to California now, but knowing how Zoe reacted when I went to Indiana unannounced, is stopping me. There is a knock on my door.

"Come in" I call.

The door opens and Josephine stands there she looks hesitantly at me and she frowns as she takes in my demeanour.

"Gideon, what's wrong?" she asks she steps closer and touches my arm, my reaction is immediate and without thinking I pull her into my arms and hold her tightly. I feel her freeze and then slowly respond to me, her arms go around my shoulders and she holds me which gives me comfort.

"What's upset you, what's wrong?" she asks again.

"Fucking Landon" I say.

"I'm sorry?" she asks in confusion.

I sigh, "Ryan Landon" I explain.

"What about him?" she asks.

"He... his son was Josh, Denise's boyfriend who died. There is a lot you don't know about the in's and out's of everything. There is a lot of history between the Landon's and the Cross's and it's all a fucked up mess which my daughter has been caught up in. I'm sorry I shouldn't be dumping all this on you, what did you need?" I ask as I realise she must have come up for a reason.

Josephine smiles at me, "I just wanted you to know, my mother called and she has been discharged this morning, and she is now attending hospital as an outpatient" she says.

I can't help but smile at that as it is very good news. "That's wonderful news I'm really pleased about that" I say sincerely and I hug her again and I see her blush slightly.

"Thank you" she says then she pauses and thinks for a moment and then she grasps my hand and leads me over to the sofa in my office. I stare at it as I sit down it is the sofa I fucked Eva on so many times, but I quickly push it from my mind.

"Ok Gideon, now you are going to talk to me and you are going to tell me everything and we are going to work out whatever it is that is worrying you with Ryan Landon alright?" Josephine says.

I stare at her but I find myself nodding and my shoulders sag, and I look down at the ground, my elbows on my knees and I begin to talk. I go back to Geoffrey Cross and what he did to Eric Landon, and how Ryan swore to get revenge. I continue how Landon seemed to back off when it became public that Geoffrey Cross wasn't actually my father, but all the time he was simmering with resentment looking for an excuse to get the revenge he desired and how every so often he would do things to try and provoke me.

I go on to how I reacted when I discovered Denise was dating Josh and how we had formed an uneasy truce which was tested when Denise became pregnant and then how it came out that Landon was planning on driving a wedge between Josh and Denise with the goal of taking the baby which had caused an estrangement between Josh and his father, and how when Josh had died that had pushed Ryan Landon over the edge completely and how he had openly threatened Denise and humiliated her causing her to have a breakdown hence the reason she was in California out of his way, as well as receiving treatment from Dr Travis.

Then I explain that was my motivation behind taking LanCorp from Landon and ruining him, I explain how Christian had taken exception to Landon's quest for revenge and as soon as we had discovered we were brothers he had started buying up LanCorp stock and persuading investors to sell until we were in the position to be strong enough to take the company from under him and how Janice had left him because of his behaviour and how now he was totally unhinged. I finish by telling her how the latest is we have information that Landon has found out that Denise is in California and is on route out there as we speak. I stop speaking and I wait as Josephine stares at me in shock.

"So what do you think of me now eh? Not such a good person am I?" I say bitterly.

Josephine shakes her head, and puts her hand in mine and squeezes, "Don't you dare, you _are_ a good man and a wonderful caring and loving father. You gave him the benefit of the doubt but he is the one with the problem not you. Everything you have done was to protect your family, admittedly it probably made things worse, but you couldn't just sit back and do nothing when he was threatening your daughter. You said he is on his way to California, are you going to warn Denise?" she asks.

I shake my head, "I have warned Victor- that's her grandfather, he is a cop and he is liaising with Raul getting information on Landon which he will put out as an alert to all the law enforcement in California. He lost his tail that we had on him when he boarded the plane. Raul will also inform Davis and Paul – they are my security on the ground they are my daughters close protection officers so they are aware and alert, but with everything Denise has overcome I don't want to set her back" I say.

To my surprise Josephine shakes her head, "No Gideon, you need to warn her, if he manages to slip through and get to her that will do more harm if she is ignorant, than if she is expecting it and prepared for it" she says.

I think for a moment and then nod, she is right I just worry about what it will do to her state of mind, but I pull my phone out and call Denise's cell phone.

"Hi daddy" is the happy greeting.

"Hi sweetheart, how are you?" I ask.

"I'm ok, I have just finished my session with Dr Travis and Liv and I are heading out to do some shopping, remember when we talk tonight I want you to tell me all about Brett Kline, as you still haven't explained everything and you keep putting it off and fobbing me off every time I try and discuss it with you" she says.

"I know I have, and I will tell you about him, but I have something important to tell you, now I don't want you to freak out" I say.

"What?" she asks the fear now evident in her voice.

"Landon, we have just got word he has found out where you are and he is on route to California to you" I say and I wait for her response.

"No" she says quietly and I close my eyes, as I know she is freaking out.

"Yes baby girl, I'm sorry we have no idea who told him, have you talked to anyone?" I ask.

"I text Josh's sister, I didn't think I just told her I was spending some time in California with my grandfather" she says.

I sigh, there we have it. Once Landon had that information it wouldn't take long for him to find out where about Victor was located.

"Alright sweetheart don't worry about it, what's done is done. He must have got hold of her phone or something, listen just keep Paul close and you will be fine" I say.

"Ok" she says, but I can hear the worry back in her voice and it kills me.

"Denise, how are you feeling at this moment?" I ask.

"I'm fine" she says blandly, which tells me she is anything but.

"Talk to me sweetheart, tell me you are really alright" I ask.

"Honestly daddy I'm fine" she says but I don't believe her.

"I'm coming out to you" I say immediately.

"No you're not daddy, Zoe needs you, remember what happened the last time you took off out of New York without her knowing, you stay there I'll be fine" she says.

"Are you sure?" I push.

"I am" she replies.

"Alright" I concede. I'm not totally happy but I am prepared to go with the decision.

We chat for a few moments longer, I get to talk to Olivia and I outline the situation to her and she promises me to be on alert and to take care of Denise and then I hang up. I quickly call Janice to let her know where I believe the leak came from.

"Hello" she says as she picks up.

"Janice, it's Gideon, I believe I have found the source of the leak" I say.

"So have I" Janice says sadly. "It was Jodie, Denise told her she was visiting her grandfather in California and Ryan found the message. Jodie caught him going through her phone. Ryan was with her when Denise text her and she made the mistake of mentioning to him she was texting Denise, she left her phone unattended and Ryan went through it and went through her messages, I'm so sorry Gideon" she says.

"It can't be helped" I sigh, "Look I won't have him hurt my daughters Janice just so you know if he tries anything I won't rest until I completely destroy him" I say.

"I know, and believe me I will help you, as that girl doesn't deserve any of this" she says.

"Thank you Janice" I say. I hang up and I think about what I said, I have taken his company and I financially ruined him but he clearly has some other source of income to be able to get a flight to California, so I need to find out what it is and eradicate it. It wasn't an idle threat that I am going to destroy him, I know only too well what I am capable of when pushed, and the memory of Nathan Barker drifts into my mind but I quickly push it away, things haven't gotten that desperate... yet.

I look at Josephine and she nods and smiles.

"You did the right thing" she says.

"I hope so" I say.

**(DENISE)**

I am filled with apprehension, I am glad dad told me about Landon but now I am jumpy and worried wondering if and when we are going to see him. Paul tells me not to worry that he won't be here for hours and that my grandfather has put the word out about him amongst his law enforcement colleagues so people are looking out for him.

I look at Liv who is staring at me warily.

"Are you really ok?" she asks.

I shake my head slowly, "No not really" I say.

"Do you want to go back to Dr Travis?" she asks, I think about that and nod, yes I do.

So I make my way back to the sports centre and for the first time my sister accompanies me. We head inside and Dr Travis looks at me in surprise.

"Denise is everything ok?" he asks.

I shake my head but don't speak, I am trembling and he immediately takes us into his cramped little office. He looks at Olivia and smiles kindly at her.

"Hello you must be Olivia" he says.

Liv nods, "I am, we have just got information that Ryan Landon has found out where Dennie is and is on his way here" she says and as she says this I burst into tears.

"Ok let's look at this logically and calmly, it takes time to fly to California from New York so he isn't going to be here instantly and I'm sure your father is doing everything within his considerable power to prevent him gaining access to you am I right?" he says and I nod.

"Ok, so what we need to do is assess and look at how you are feeling and how we can stop the negativity of this" he says.

I start to feel myself calm down and I nod.

As I sit and spend the afternoon talking to Dr Travis and work through all the negativity, I feel better I'm not totally convinced I will be able to handle seeing Landon, but I know my dad will do everything he can to try and stop him. When I eventually feel happy enough to leave the confines of Dr Travis's office I do feel better. Paul has been talking to Raul and he has told me that he found out which flight Landon is on and at the moment he is still in the air and won't be landing in California until about 5:30 our time so everything is fine. I look at my watch it is nearly 4:30 so I have an hour until he is in the same state as me. Liv has been brilliant trying to take my mind off what is going on, we decide to go back to our original plan of shopping as there is nothing better than a bit of retail therapy to raise our spirits. I begin to relax as we go from store to store, I get a few bits for the baby as well as some things for me and Liv also buys some things for her nephew. I am feeling happier now and as we are walking through the mall I hear someone call my name I freeze and turn, I see Brett Kline strolling up grinning at me.

"Hello ladies how are you?" he asks.

"We're good thank you" I say and I stare at him, and an idea pops into my head as I wonder if he will tell what the deal is between him and my dad as my dad is reluctant to give me information about him?

"I have heard a lot about you since we last talked" I lie.

He looks at me and I see shame cross his face. "I can imagine" he says ruefully.

"Why don't you tell me your side of the story?" I ask.

I watch him think for a moment and he nods, "Alright" he says and we head to a cafe and sit down, I know Paul isn't happy about this but I ask him to roll with it, and he simply nods at me.

"So Brett Kline, what is the deal with you and my dad?" I ask as we sit down with a drink.

He sighs, "Before I tell you, I want to say I was young and stupid, and I regret everything" he says.

"Alright" I reply and with that he begins to talk.

"I first met your mom at Pete's that was bar here in San Diego back in the day and my band played there quite a bit before we hit the big time. We were quite full on for a while, it was pretty raw between us but I fucked it up and she left me. Then we made it big and signed to Vidal Records and that is when I saw Eva again, and she was with your dad by then. The first I knew about it was when I found out that my brother Marcus had written a book about us - me and Eva and our time together, he was manipulated into getting it published by someone who wanted to hurt your dad. It was called Golden Girl as that was my nickname for Eva. Anyway the long and short of it was when he realised what was going on and Eva made it clear she wasn't happy about it I got pissed about it, because I was young and an asshole and I figured it would be good publicity for the band because at that point I had written a song called Golden which was also about Eva. I was jealous as hell that Eva was with Gideon and I wanted her back, so I did something unforgivable, I contacted Sam Yimara who was our wannabe videographer from the early days because I knew he had footage of us which had been taken backstage at Pete's back in the day. I wanted to show her how it was between us, how good we were together, but the same person who manipulated my brother heard about it and got involved and it all got out of hand and became really nasty when he wanted to make the tape public and Eva got really hurt. I regretted that and that is when I backed off so I was a prize asshole and your dad has every right to be suspicious of me" he says.

I stare at him in shock, "You have made yourself sound like a fucking sleaze" I say.

He nods, "I know, I was and I have to live with that" he says.

"Who was it who manipulated you and your brother?" I ask.

Brett stares at me, "Christopher Vidal, Gideon's half brother he was an executive at Vidal records and he hated his brother" he says.

I stare at him in confusion and shake my head.

"No, that can't be right, Uncle Christopher and dad get on really well" I say.

Brett nods, "Yeah they do now, this was years ago and there was bad blood in the extreme between them" he says.

This has knocked me I had no idea about this, as far as I was concerned dad and Uncle Christopher were tight, admittedly dad is not as close with Uncle Christopher as he is with Uncle Christian. But he was also there when I was born and played a part when things went wrong and I was always under the impression my middle name Christina was for Uncle Christopher as well as Uncle Christian, I really need to talk to my dad about this. Liv is listening to him and I think she is also in shock about everything that she has heard as well.

Brett continues to look closely at me and he speaks again "Christian Grey's wife will corroborate everything I have told you, as she unwittingly signed my brother and got the book published and she knew about the other stuff too with the tape" he says.

Aunt Ana knows about this? Shit this just gets more and more fucked up. No wonder Uncle Christian was uncomfortable and not to mention a little evasive when I asked him about Brett Kline. I glance at my watch and am shocked to see it is nearly 6.30 in the evening; granddad will be getting off duty soon.

"Thank you for talking to us" I say quietly.

"No problem" he says we leave the cafe and walks with us still chatting generally Paul and Davis are following us when I hear my name called and I freeze at the familiar voice, Liv immediately grabs my hand and Paul steps in front of me. Brett stops and stares at the man walking swiftly towards us yelling and causing people to turn and stare at him.

"DENISE CROSS YOU FUCKING BITCH YOU THINK YOU CAN RUN OFF TO CALIFORNIA, YOU CAN'T RUN FROM ME!"

I start to breathe heavily and Brett steps forward towards Landon.

"Hey man, what's your problem?" he asks calmly.

"Who the fuck are you?" Landon asks staring at Brett, he has a crazy look in his eyes and I am scared. Before anyone can react Landon lunges at me, Paul goes to grab him and Davis yanks me and Liv backwards, but it is Brett who does something unbelievable, he brings his fist up and lands a perfectly timed and perfectly aimed right hook to Landon's chin and sends him sprawling across the sidewalk. Liv giggles quietly and I can't help but smile to see him sprawled on his ass.

"Come on" Davis says and pulls us backwards, he is on his phone and Paul has Landon in a firm grip and Brett is with him and he looks around at us.

"Are you two ok?" he asks.

"I am thank you Brett" I say gratefully, I stare at Landon who is being restrained by Paul.

"Mr Landon, let me introduce an old family friend, this is Brett Kline, Brett this piece of shit is Ryan Landon and he unfortunately is my baby's grandfather… not that he behaves like one" I say.

"Denise!" I look around and see my grandfather along with three other police officers running towards me. I smile at him and he rushes to me and hugs me and checks me over.

"Are you alright sweetheart?" he asks anxiously.

I nod, "I am, better than him anyway. He launched himself at me and Brett hit him, but it was in defence of me, he was coming right at me" I say firmly. My grandfather nods and issues a number of orders and I watch as Landon is escorted away, he turns his attention to Brett and holds out his hand.

"Victor Reyes – I'm Denise's grandfather" he says.

"Hello Mr Reyes, it's good to meet you" Brett says politely.

"Thank you for helping out my granddaughter" he says.

"No problem, that guy seems a bit of a fruit loop" he says as he watches Landon being led away.

"That is an understatement" I whisper.

My phone starts to ring and I smile as I look at it, it's my dad.

"Hi daddy, before you say anything, I'm fine, yes Landon found me and he tried something but I'm ok and you need to thank Brett because he stopped him, we ran into him again today and you should also know we had a long talk and he told me everything. But most importantly when Landon launched himself at me Brett helped… he knocked him on his ass" I say and wait as my dad doesn't say anything for a moment.

"I see, may I speak to Kline?" he asks.

"Sure, hang on" I say and hold out my phone to Brett. "My dad wants to talk to you" I say.

Brett accepts the phone, "Gideon... yes... I did... no problem the guy seemed a bit unhinged... I did yes... can we just put the past in the past? Your daughter asked me and I told her. I was an asshole and I have to live with that, I don't mean anyone any harm, which is more than can be said about the asshole who showed up... ok, thank you Gideon, goodbye" he hands me back my phone and grins.

"Daddy, I hope you were nice to him?" I say sharply.

"I was sweetheart, we have come to an understanding and I thanked him for his help" my dad says quietly.

"Good" I reply.

I look at my grandfather who is now talking to Brett, "Erm would you like to come back to my home and share a meal with us, my way of saying thank you for what you did?" my grandfather asks. I know this is a big deal for him to do this as I'm sure he is aware of who Brett is and what he did in the past.

"Thank you Mr Reyes that's very kind of you but I don't want to intrude" Brett says warily.

"Not at all" my grandfather replies, he looks at his watch, "I am officially off duty now anyway" he says with a grin.


	28. Chapter 28

CHAPTER 28

We all head back to my grandfather's house. When we walk in I see Brett staring at the array of photographs on his shelves and every available surface he has hundreds of us which have been taken over the years and of my mom and dad and loads of my mom going back to when she was younger too. He reaches for one of mom when she must have been around my age.

"This is the Eva I remember" he says quietly as he stares at the picture, then he carefully places it back down and looks at a family group picture which was taken weeks before we found out how sick mom was. It is the last official picture we have of us all as a family and he picks it up.

"That was taken just before mom found out she was sick" I say, "It was after that sitting she started getting another really bad headache again and dad finally persuaded her to go to the doctor and get it checked out, because she had been getting them so frequently" I say.

Brett nods, and point to me, "That's you" he says.

I nod, and grin slightly embarrassed "Yeah that's me, I was about 11/12ish there, that's Liv she was 9/10ish and that is my kid sister Zoe, she was about 4/5 years old there, I pick up a recent picture of my dad with us which was taken at Christmas, "That's Zoe now, she's nearly 10 now" I say.

"She didn't come out to see your grandfather?" Brett asks.

I shake my head, "No I needed to get away for a while, after my boyfriend died his dad kind of lost it as you could probably tell today and he started threatening me and my baby – he blames me for Josh's death and I needed to get away for a while and so dad arranged for me to stay with granddad, I didn't really want to come alone so Liv came with me too, but Zoe is back in New York with dad" I say.

Brett nods, "Was the baby planned?" he asks.

I shake my head, "Good god no, I am only sixteen years old, well nearly seventeen now but no, it was a contraception failure we were being careful but it just happened" I touch my bump, "he's all I have left now of Josh and I won't let Landon take him from me" I say.

"He's threatened to take your baby away?" Brett asks his eyes widening in shock.

I nod, "Yeah amongst other things" I say sadly and I watch him as he shakes his head in disgust.

We are disturbed by my grandfather entering and telling us that dinner is ready we head out to the kitchen and sit around the table, the atmosphere is relaxed and chatty and I can see my grandfather is intrigued by Brett.

After a delicious chilli con carne we are talking and Brett is recounting his memories of my mother which we are all listening to and lapping up, when his phone rings.

"Excuse me" he says as he answers.

"Hello" he says. We see his face light up, "Hi Nicky, yes son, I'm sorry I got waylaid… I'm having dinner with Denise Cross and her family... yes you remember her from last week?... yes... no worries son… do you mind?...if you would that would be great... I'll text you the address... thanks son... bye" he hangs up and quickly sends a text.

"That was my son Nicky he was wondering where I was" he says, "He is on his way to come and pick me up" he adds. He stands and offers his hand to my grandfather, "Well thank you for your hospitality Mr Reyes and thank you for a lovely dinner, it was very kind of you" he says and then turns to me and grins, "you take care of yourself Denise and that baby of yours," he smiles at Liv, "Bye Liv and you stay cool!" he says and Liv giggles at this and I roll my eyes.

A few moments later the doorbell rings and my grandfather goes to answer it. Then I hear a male voice.

"Hi I'm looking for my father, Brett Kline he told me he was here and I've come to pick him up" we head out and I see the young man I had met previously and he smiles kindly at me and once again as I look at him I feel my breath catch as say hello to him.

Brett strolls out and greets his son warmly, he turns back to face my grandfather and shakes his hand again.

"Thank you once again" he says, he turns and says goodbye to us and then he is gone.

I spend the evening going over what Brett told me about Uncle Christopher and everything. I have this urge to call him and ask him about it, but I think twice I mean it was years ago, and he probably won't want to talk about it with me, then I remember that Aunty Ana knows about everything and I make the decision to call her instead so I head to my room and place the call.

"Hello" I hear my Aunt's voice and smile.

"Hi Aunty Ana" I say.

"Denise, how are you, are you still in California?" she asks.

"I'm fine, and yes I am" I say, "Aunty Ana, we've met someone while we have been here" I begin.

"Oh yes?" she asks.

"Hmmm, yes Brett Kline" I say.

There is a pause and when she speaks again she is clearly shocked, "Oh my goodness" she says.

"It's fine" I quickly say, "My dad knows and he has spoken to him" I add.

"I see" Aunty Ana says.

"We had a long chat today and he told me why dad had a problem with him, he said he behaved like an asshole when he was younger and he made a lot of bad choices and from what he told me I totally agree with him" I say.

"That is true he did" Aunty Ana agrees.

"But he also told me something else he said he was manipulated by Uncle Christopher and that he, Uncle Christopher that is manipulated his brother who had written a story about Brett and mom, and you unwittingly published that story?" I say.

My aunt sighs, "Yes that is correct, but listen to me sweetheart Christopher was a different person back then. He was full of jealousy and anger when it came to your father. He had no idea what your dad had gone through and all he could see was an older brother who had everything. He was also being manipulated by Elizabeth Vidal, she had filled his head with lies and negativity about Gideon. She was horrible which is why your dad doesn't have anything to do with her, but after a lot of therapy and help Christopher realised what the truth was and he and your dad became closer and their relationship improved. Please don't do anything about what you now know Denise, as this is all ancient history and your uncle isn't that person any more" she is practically begging me.

"Ok, I just needed to know" I say.

"I can understand that" she replies.

"Brett has changed too, he regrets everything he did" I say.

"Well that's good" Aunty Ana says.

"He helped me today, Landon found out I am in California and he approached me, he was acting crazy and Brett knocked him on his ass when he went for me" I say.

"Oh my goodness are you alright?" my aunt asks immediately worried.

"I'm fine honestly, but I just wanted to tell you that because Brett Kline is a good guy now, what makes me wonder though is how Landon managed to track me down to the mall, I mean I only told Jodie I was in California, and California is a big place" I say.

"I have no idea darling, but if he got the information from Jodie's phone is it possible he could have tracked you somehow by your phone? I don't know, but don't worry about that you are safe that is all that matters" she says.

We talk a while longer and then I pass her over to Liv who has come to find me, and she chats with her for a while. When she hangs up Liv comes to sit with me.

"Are you alright really Dennie?" she asks.

I nod, "Yes I am, Landon is an asshole but I know now that he can't hurt me. He can't do anything, he can't take my baby, and the more stupid things he does makes him more vulnerable not me" I say.

Liv smiles at me, "I don't know about you, but I have enjoyed my time here with granddad but I'm ready to go home" she asks me carefully.

I nod, "yeah, and I need to get back to school if I am going to graduate this year. Have you been keeping up with your school work? I'm sorry I dragged you across the country with me?" I say.

Liv smiles and tucks her arm in mine, "I've been working on stuff while I've been here, and I haven't got behind, but I'll be glad to get back to school" she says, she looks carefully at me, "Don't feel guilty about bringing me, I wanted to come, and I won't have you worrying about that" she says.

"Thanks" I say, "I'm also keen to get back as I want to meet Josephine" I say.

Liv looks at me questioningly, "Who is Josephine?" she asks, I stare at her, has dad not told her? "Hasn't dad told you about her?" I ask warily.

She shakes her head, "Oh, he met her when he took LanCorp, and she works for him now, but from what he has said, I think he has feelings for her and I am encouraging it. It's the first time he has shown any interest in any woman since mom died and he is confused and feels guilty about how he feels about her, but from what he has said she seems nice… how do you feel about him being with someone else?" I ask.

Liv shrugs, "I don't know. I mean, I want him to be happy, of course I do, but I also know he is a very wealthy man and I'm not stupid… what if this woman is only after him for his money?" she asks.

I shake my head, "No, from what dad says she isn't like that" I say.

"Will we get to meet her?" Liv asks.

I nod, "I assume so, from what I can gather dad has been seeing quite a bit of her" I say.

My phone rings and its dad, "Do you want to talk first?" I ask offering my phone to Liv, she nods and answers the phone, putting it on speaker so I can hear.

"Hi daddy how are you?" she says.

"Liv?" my dad asks.

"Yeah it's me" she confirms.

"Hi daddy!" I call.

"Denise?" my dad asks.

"Yeah – you are on speaker dad, so we can both talk to you" I say.

"Oh ok" he replies.

"Dad, why didn't you tell me about this woman you are seeing?" Liv asks immediately jumping in, I roll my eyes, way to go Liv - show a little tact!

There is a short silence and then my dad speaks and he sounds vulnerable and… scared. "Because I didn't know how to, I didn't want to upset you or make you think I was replacing your mother" he says.

Liv is the one to roll her eyes now, "Dad, I'm a big girl now and it hurt to know that Dennie knew about it and I didn't… so, what is she like?" she asks.

I hear my dad's voice soften as he speaks of her, "She's a lovely genuine lady" he says. Liv looks at me and I raise my eyebrows.

"So do we get to meet her then?" Liv asks.

"Of course you do" he says.

"Good because we want to come home dad" Liv says.

"Really? Oh that's wonderful news" he says I can hear the excitement in his voice now and we both smile.

Dad quickly goes into organisational mode and tells us he will arrange everything, we will fly home the day after tomorrow so I can arrange to set up Skype sessions with Dr Travis and say goodbye to him properly. I realise that I also want to say goodbye to Brett.

"Dad?" I ask carefully.

"Yes" he replies.

"Do you know where Brett Kline lives?" I ask.

"No" he says.

"Could you find out?" I ask.

"I could, why?" he replies.

"Because I want to say goodbye to him too and thank him for everything he did for us today" I say.

"Alright, I'll get Raul on it and he can give the details to Paul" he says.

"Thank you dad" I say, "And dad one more thing, can you find out how Landon managed to track us down to the mall we were in? It's bugging me how he managed to do that. I mean I told Jodie I was in California but he turns up in San Diego at the very mall we are at it seems all a little too convenient for me I want to know how he knew where to find us" I say.

"I'll get Raul right on it" he says. "Actually I'd like to see Kline again and thank him, and also perhaps see Dr Travis again as I have not seen him person for years and I've only ever spoken to him on the telephone recently, I could fly out with the plane, would that be ok?" he asks.

"Yeah, that would be good, and bring Zoe and Josephine" I say.

"I'll bring Zoe, but I'm not sure about Josephine" my dad says warily.

"Dad, it would be the perfect opportunity for us to meet her on neutral ground and she could meet granddad too" I say.

"Would that be wise? I don't want to seem like I'm rubbing Victor's face in it, after all he is Eva's father?" my dad asks uncertainly.

"Dad, all granddad wants is exactly the same as what we want, and that is for you to be happy" I say.

"I'll think about it" he says but he still sounds unsure.

When dad hangs up we go out to our grandfather and tell him of our decision that we are going home he smiles at us and hugs us tightly.

"I'll miss you guys" he says.

"Thanks but you're not getting off lightly as dad is flying out, he wants to see Brett and he's bringing Zoe with him" I say.

Granddad grins widely at this news, and then I broach the subject of Josephine. "Granddad, there is something else… dad has met someone, but he is feeling conflicted at the moment. He is struggling with his feelings for her because he thinks he is being unfaithful to mom, but I think he really likes her. Would it be a problem if he brought her with him? We have asked him to do so, because we haven't met her yet and we thought that it would be neutral ground here rather than in New York, but dad's worried that you will be upset about it" I say.

Granddad shakes his head, "All I want is for your father to be happy, I would love to meet someone in his life, I tell you what I'll give him a call" he says. With that he disappears into the other room, I grin at Liv.

"Operation make dad happy is go!" I say.

Liv smiles back at me, but I can't help but catch the uncertain look she gives me.

"What's up?" I ask.

Liv shakes her head, "I want dad to be happy, but I don't want some woman taking mom's place" she says.

I shake my head, "Nobody would even think of trying to replace mom" I say adamantly "We have to give her a chance, this is the first woman that dad has even looked twice at since mom died and he deserves to be happy" I add.

Liv nods and I hug her tightly.

**(GIDEON)**

I have sprung into action, I am excited about the fact my daughters are coming home and I am busy organising a plane and clearing my schedule so that I can fly out to California to see them. I would really like to meet Dr Travis again in person, Eva always spoke highly of him and my daughter trusts him and she seems to have made astonishing progress with him. I feel a little ashamed it's been years since I last saw him in person which was soon after I launched my Ella's Lodges charity and Eva brought him onboard and he has been associated with my San Diego branch of Ella's Lodge since it opened.

I call Raul and ask him to find out Brett Kline's address and telephone number, I want to see him again, while I am there. I haven't seen him since that day when it all came out about the sex tape and I punched my brother out. It seems like a lifetime ago. I know that Eva kept her promise and went to see him and explain the reasons _why_ she left him and why she was the girl she was at that time. By all accounts he was shocked but understanding and agreed that that chapter of her life was now closed and he promised her he would leave her alone and he did. I have no idea if it was just coincidence though but it was after that meeting with Eva that Six Ninths started to decline and eventually they split, almost as if Kline had lost his muse and therefore also his mojo.

I put those memories out of my mind as I also tell Raul Dennie's questions about how the hell Landon traced them to where they were, and Raul has been having the same concerns. We knew he had her contact details from the text message he procured from Jodie's phone and I wonder how he narrowed it down from the entire State of California to a specific mall in San Diego. It is no secret that Eva's father lives in San Diego, that has been public knowledge since I married her, so it wouldn't be a leap of faith to assume that San Diego would be their destination. But to track them down to the shopping mall they were in, that is worrying. It could've been a complete coincidence and blind luck that found him in the same place as Dennie at that point after all considering all the other coincidences that seem to occur to this family it's not beyond the realm of possibility. That leads me on to think about Kline. I am glad that Brett Kline was with them. I never thought I'd ever think anything like that about him!

I end the call with Raul with him assuring me he will find out what I need to know and I focus again on my forthcoming trip as I am anxious to see my daughters again. I think about Denise saying I should bring Josephine with me. I will definitely take Zoe, but Josephine? Surely that would be a little tactless and wrong taking someone to meet my dead wife's father? As I am thinking about this, my phone rings. I glance at the screen and see it is Victor calling me and I immediately panic wondering what the problem could be.

"Victor what's wrong?" I ask by way of greeting.

"Nothing, stop panicking, hello Gideon and how are you?" Victor says with clear amusement in his voice.

I sigh, "I'm fine thank you how are you?" I ask.

"I'm good, Denise tells me that you are flying out with young Zoe and that Denise and Liv are going home" he says.

"Yes, that's right, I want to meet up with Dr Travis in person and I would also like to see Brett Kline, after all he has helped my daughters today" I say.

"He did, and you should also know that he came back with us and I invited him for dinner, he is a changed man from the arrogant wannabe rock star he once was, he appeared to me to be a thoroughly decent man" Victor says.

"That's good to know" I say.

There is a pause, then Victor speaks again, "Denise tells me you are seeing someone?" he says casually.

My heart drops at this, "Victor, we are just friends, nobody could ever replace Eva, I ..." I say but he interrupts me.

"Relax Gideon, I'm pleased, you are finally moving on, my daughter wouldn't want you to live like a monk for the rest of your life. Why don't you bring her out with you and show her the sights of San Diego?" he says.

"Erm... I..." I stutter.

"I'd like to meet her" he pushes.

"Ok, I'll ask her" I say, if I am truthful, deep down I would love to take Josephine with me, I am planning to make a stop off in Seattle after I have collected my daughters and visit with Christian and I would love Josephine to meet Ana, and the rest of my extended family in Seattle.

"When are you flying out?" Victor asks.

"Day after tomorrow, I am clearing my schedule at the moment" I say.

Victor laughs at this, but when he speaks again his tone is serious "By the way Landon got released earlier this evening, I took the liberty of arranging a restraining order on him so Denise and Liv are safe, I would like to know how he knew where to find them?" he says.

"I have asked Raul to try and find that out, because Denise has asked the same thing" I say.

"I'll make some enquiries at the precinct and see if I can turn anything up, if I find out anything I'll let you know" he says.

"Thanks Victor" I say.

When I end the call with Victor I call Josephine, I am feeling a new level of confidence, and I want to strike now before the doubts start setting in again.

"Hello" she says as she answers and that sweet voice makes my heart lurch.

"Erm... hi it's me Gideon" I say shit I'm like a fucking teenager, pull yourself together man!

"Oh hi Gideon is something wrong?" she asks.

"No, actually I want to ask you something" I say nervously.

"Oh? Ok, what?" she replies.

"Erm, when I spoke to Denise and Olivia tonight, they told me they are ready to come home, well I am going to fly out to California as I want to meet with Dr Travis who has been treating Denise and I also need to see someone else while I am there, and I was wondering… if you would like to come with me? My girls are eager to meet you… and so is my father in law" I pause waiting for her to turn me down, there is a silence as she considers my request.

"I'd love to meet your family Gideon" she says eventually, and once again my heart lurches.

"That's great!" I gasp, "Erm we are flying out the day after tomorrow I know its short notice but is that ok?" I ask.

"That's fine, it's a Saturday so it won't interfere with work" she says.

I grin at that, as if it could interfere with her work for god's sake I'm her fucking boss! I decide to tell her about my plan to fly to Seattle afterwards.

"Also, I'd love for you to meet the rest of my extended family?" I ask.

"Oh you have more family?" she asks a little nervously.

"Yes, I know you've met my step father, my sister Ireland and my brother Christopher when we went out to dinner the other night and you met Christian when he was in New York, but I have a whole extended family in Seattle" I say.

"I see" she says and I can see she seems nervous about this.

"They are lovely, they are really Christian's family but they have taken me as one of their own and I look on them as my family" I explain.

"Oh right" she says again.

I quickly go through everyone, "There is Grace and Carrick they are the couple who adopted Christian when he was a small boy, and when we found out that we were brothers they immediately welcomed me as an honorary Grey and I call Grace mom as she has been more of a mother to me than my own. She is a paediatrician although she is close to retiring now and Carrick is a top litigator in Seattle and well known throughout the North West. Then there is Elliot he is Christian's adopted brother who Grace and Carrick adopted, he is older than Christian and he has his own construction business, he has his own family and his wife Kate was Ana's best friend from university. Ana is Christian's wife and she is lovely, she is one of the sweetest people I have ever met. Then there is Mia she is about the same age as Ana and she is Christian's baby sister, he adores her. She is married to Kate's brother Ethan and they have three kids, they have twin boys and a baby girl, Elliot and Kate have kids and my brother and Ana have a daughter – Phoebe, who is a month or so younger than Denise. They are my family and I would love you to meet them because..." I pause, and then I decide to go for it, to stop pussyfooting about and tell her how I feel.

"Because, I really like you and you are important to me and I want you to be a part of my life, I like you Josephine, I mean I really like you… I have developed feelings for you. Feelings which I thought I'd never have again when Eva died and I don't want to scare you but I... I... I... I think I'm falling in love with you".

I stop and close my eyes and wait for the rejection, I am gripping the phone so tightly my knuckles are turning white. The silence seems to last an eternity and I fear she has hung up on me.

"Are you there?" I ask nervously.

"Yes, I'm here" she says quietly, "Gideon... I..." she stops.

"Look I'm sorry you don't have to over think this, I understand that you don't feel the same way about me, and that it has happened so quickly. I'm sorry if I've made you feel uncomfortable but I..."I ramble but she interrupts me.

"Gideon, stop, please don't apologise… I have been fighting it, but I… I feel the same about you. I think I'm falling in love with you too, but I was too afraid to admit it to myself let alone say anything to you" she says.

I feel a huge smile cross my lips as I hear her say those words, "Say it again" I demand.

"I think I love you too Gideon" she says.

"We'll take it slow" I say earnestly, "it's only been about a month and we will always respect each other's love for our previous partners, you loved Mike and I loved Eva and they will always be a part of us… shit I can't believe this!" I know I am rambling but at this moment I feel elated.

"I just… I don't want you or your family to think I am with you for your money. I'm not a gold digger Gideon. Your wealth doesn't interest me in the slightest and while I am grateful for what you have done for my mother I ..." she is rambling now and I quickly step in.

"STOP" I demand sharply, "There is no way are you a gold digger and I won't have you speaking of yourself like that" I say.

"Alright, I'm sorry" she says.

I sigh as I hear her nervous apology, "Never apologise for being yourself Josephine, because that is the woman I fell in love with" I say.

We talk a while longer and when I end the call I am almost feeling dizzy with elation, I have told her how I feel and she feels the same. I feel like a kid at Christmas. I need to share this with someone so I call Christian, as I need to call him to let him know I am intending to flying in to Seattle, and I need to invite myself to stay.

"Christian!" I say brightly as he answers.

"Hey bro, how's things?" he says warmly.

"Good excellent in fact, listen I'm flying out to California on Saturday and collecting my daughters as they want to come home" I say.

"Oh that's excellent news, so Denise is feeling more positive now then?" he asks.

"She is, despite Landon finding out she was in California and following her there and causing a scene in a mall today" I say.

"Yeah I heard about that, Denise spoke to Ana and she told me, but she seemed to handle it well which is progress but does that man never give it up?" he says, "Listen bro, why don't you swing past Seattle before you head home and drop in and see us I know mom would love to see you and the girls again?" he says.

I grin at his offer, "Actually that is why I am calling, I am taking Zoe with me to see her grandfather when I fetch the girls and I was wondering if I could impose on you as I want to bring someone with me who I want to introduce to everyone" I say.

"Oh right who?" he asks.

"Josephine Harris, do you remember her from LanCorp? She turned down your relocation offer, well she works for me now at the Crossfire, and... and well... we have been seeing each other" I say.

"Have you?" he asks slyly.

"Yeah… shit Christian, I'm so fucking happy. I took the plunge tonight and told her I had feelings for her, hell I told her I was falling in love with her, I know it's quick but it just came out and it seemed so right" I say.

"Shit bro, what did she say?" he asks.

"She told me she felt the same" I say and I can't contain the grin on my face as I say it.

"I'm so happy for you Gideon. Honestly, you deserve it… but… look I hate to say it but she hasn't attached herself to you for your status and money is she?" he asks warily.

I feel a burst of protective anger and indignation surge through me. "Fuck me Christian! For god's sake credit me with a little intelligence!" I snap, "No she isn't, she is a lovely genuine woman, yes she comes from a humble background, hell she hardly had two cents to rub together when I met her but do you know what she said when I paid for her mother's operation and health care? Do you? She said she had no idea how she was going to pay me back but she would find a way. She was genuinely working out how she was going to fucking repay me! I told her she didn't have to and so she said she would be the best damn employee I had ever had. I thought you of all people would understand considering your own wife's background!" I say.

"Ok, ok! Calm down bro, I'm sorry… jeez you really do like her don't you?" he says.

"I do yes" I say firmly.

"Well then I'm sure we will all love her too, I'll arrange for a get together while you are in town so everyone can meet her. I could perhaps fly in Ray and Denise from Detroit as well?" he says.

"That's not a bad idea actually, but I don't want to overwhelm her" I say, "Hell just do it as I'd love to see Ray and Denise again" I add decisively.

**oooOOOooo**

_Saturday Morning..._

We pull up outside the shabby apartment block in Brooklyn it is 6:30 in the morning but Josephine is ready and waiting and I step out of the car to embrace her. I can't believe I haven't actually kissed her yet, and I haven't seen or spoken to her since we declared our feelings for each other the day before yesterday. I have text her but not spoken to her directly and I am now as nervous as hell, in case she regrets saying those words to me, she looks at me warily as she walks up to the car.

"Hi" she says and smiles at me.

"Hi, how are you?" I ask returning the smile, I step towards her and take her small bag from her hands and hand it to Raul who has joined us, and he quickly deposits it in the back and returns to his seat behind the wheel.

"I'm fine thank you, I'm a little nervous but I'm ok" Josephine assures me.

"You'll be fine, my girls will love you" I say confidently.

I step closer and pull her into my arms, she responds and wraps her arms around me, I take this as a good sign. I close my eyes and relish the feel of the touch, I lean down and I put my finger under her chin and raise her head up to look up at me and I lower my mouth to hers. Our first kiss, it is the first time I have kissed another woman on the lips in five long years, our lips touch and I close my eyes, it is a tentative kiss we are both nervous as hell but as our lips touch it's like an electric current surging through me, and I become bolder and I quickly take charge. My hands cup her face and passion takes over, when we come up for air we are both gasping and I rest my forehead against hers.

"Wow" she whispers and smiles shyly at me, she brings up her hand and touches my face gently. I close my eyes again and lean into the touch. I hear a discreet cough and I open my eyes, I glance around and Raul is leaning out of the window and he points at his watch.

I smile and stifle a laugh "We need to get going, or we will miss our take off slot" I say apologetically.

"Ok, sorry" Josephine says.

"Don't apologise" I say as I hold open the door and she slides in.

Zoe is fast asleep with a blanket wrapped around her and Josephine smiles at her, and tucks the blanket securely around my daughter before settling herself next to her. Now I could sit in the front with Raul but instead I squeeze in next to Josephine and take her hand in mine.

"I have something for you" I say nervously.

She looks at me questioningly, and I reach down and pull up a box and hand it to her, she stares at it, it is a brand new latest model iphone she stares at it.

"What is this?" she asks.

"A phone" I say unnecessarily with a shrug.

"I can see that, but why did you buy me a phone?" she asks.

I can detect a hint of worry in her voice and I reach for her again to reassure her. "I want you to be able to talk to your mom whenever you want to without worrying about the cost. It is prepaid for a year… also if you want to you can call me as well. I have programmed all my contact numbers into it already for you if you want to use them, you can transfer all your photographs to it as well, do you like it?" I ask nervously.

I watch her staring at the phone as if it is going to bite her but then slowly a smile crosses her face. "Thank you Gideon, I don't know what to say, I didn't expect this at all, I feel funny about accepting it, because these are so expensive" she says.

I stare at her incredulously, but I realise she has spent her life on the edge of poverty so this would seem huge to her whereas to me it was a drop in the ocean. It makes me understand that I have to tread carefully or I may scare her away if I go over the top.

"Thank you Gideon, it was very kind of you" she says again and carefully almost with reverence she puts the phone into her purse. "I've never had anything so nice" she says quietly as she does so, almost to herself, I wrap my arm around her and pull her close.

"You are going to have to get used to having nice things then, because I intend to buy them for you" I say. She immediately pulls away and shakes her head.

"No, I won't be bought Gideon. I don't want you for your money, I just want the kind man who has a good heart" she says and I nod my head. I _am_ going to have tread carefully, very carefully.

As we drive to the airport Josephine falls asleep on me and I recall my telephone conversation with Denise and Olivia last night...

_"Hi daddy!" I hear both my daughter's voices which tells me I am on speaker so they can both talk to me._

_"How are my best girls?" I say._

_"We are fine daddy, what time are you getting into San Diego?" Olivia asks the excitement clear in her voice._

_"I should get in around 1:30/2pm San Diego time I should think" I say confidently._

_"And you are bringing Zoe?" Olivia asks._

_"I am" I say, I take a deep breath, "I am also bringing Josephine to meet you" I say._

_"That's great dad I'm really looking forward to meeting her" Denise quickly says._

_"Thank you" I say._

_I take note that Olivia doesn't reply to this announcement, and I need to know how she feels._

_"Liv are you there, what do you think, do you want to meet Josephine?" I ask warily._

_"Of course I do dad, and I really want you to be happy because you deserve it. II just worry, you are a rich and powerful man… she isn't... she doesn't... I mean... are you sure that she... oh shit she's not just after you for your money is she?" Liv blurts out._

_I sigh, "I'm positive Liv, she is a lovely genuine and humble person, she loves me for me not my wallet or bank balance" I say._

_"Love?" Denise asks._

_Shit, I didn't mean to say that but I can't get out of it now. I take a deep breath and go for honesty, "Yes, last night when we spoke on the phone, I told her I had feelings for her I told her that I thought I was falling in love with her and she told me she felt the same, but we are taking it really slowly. We both have a lot of baggage and how I feel about her doesn't take away anything for how I loved and still love your mom and she feels the same about her late husband too" I say._

_I hear whispering but I can't catch what they are saying, oh come on talk to me girls, tell me what you are thinking._

_"Dad I am really happy for you" Denise says eventually, I hear the sincerity in her voice._

_I wait for Liv to speak before I answer, "Dad, if this is what you want then I am happy for you, just please be careful" Liv says._

_I smile. That was more positive than I expected. "Thank you it means a lot to me to have your support" I say with relief._

_"What does Zoe think of her?" Liv asks._

_I smile, "Zoe adores her, she likes drawing and well you know Zoe loves to draw so they have been comparing styles. She has also been showing Zoe how to cook" I say._

_"She can cook?" Denise asks._

_"Yes she can and she is a wonderful cook" I say._

_There is another silence, I realise they are remembering Eva her cooking was pretty hit and miss, but her bolognaise was out of this world._

_"I'll have to get some tips" Denise says, "all I can cook is mom's bolognaise" she says._

_"I'm sure she's lovely dad, I can't wait to meet her" Liv says kindly._

_I smile, despite their obvious reservations they are supporting me and want me to be happy, I am so proud of them and I know I couldn't wish for better kids._

"Sir we are here" I am pulled from my thoughts as we stop on the tarmac near the jet. I ease myself away from Josephine and gently wake her.

"Josephine, wake up, we are at the airport we need to board the plane" I say.

I watch her open her eyes and yawn. "What? Oh ok" she says sleepily.

"You can sleep on the plane" I say and she nods at me.

I climb out of the car and walk around to the other side and lift my sleeping daughter into my arms and carry her on board the plane. I take her straight to her bedroom and place her on the bed, and buckle her in, I will undo the belt once we are in the air I smile at her as she doesn't even stir.

I head back out to the main area where Josephine is sitting waiting already buckled into her seat. I greet my pilot and settle myself into the seat beside her taking her hand in mine. Raul enters and sits in his usual seat.

I can see Josephine is practically falling asleep. After a short delay we are in the air and I unbuckle myself and go to release Zoe from her belts. I cover her up and close the door. Then I gently shake Josephine and she opens her eyes again and looks at me.

"Come with me" I say gently.

I hold out my hand and she unclips the seatbelt and takes my hand and follows me into the bedroom as soon as she sees the bed she freezes.

I turn and see the apprehension on her face, shit she thinks that I want to have sex.

"You are tired I thought you'd be more comfortable in here" I explain, I see her relax and she nods.

"Thank you" she says, she takes off her shoes and rummages in her bag for a nightshirt, I leave the cabin and give her chance to change. After a few moments I knock and I hear her say come in I enter and see her lying in the bed, she smiles at me.

"This is so comfortable" she says. "Where are you going to sleep?" she asks nervously.

I study her face and as much as I want to join her and decide it could be step too far at this point, "I'll use Denise's room" I say and turn to go.

"Gideon, no" Josephine says she reaches for me and grabs my hand.

"Stay with me here" she says.

"Are you sure?" I ask, my heart leaping.

She nods, I quickly undress and climb into the bed beside her, this feels so strange, having someone with me again.

"I've… I've not slept with anyone since Michael died" she says quietly, "This is quite a novelty" she adds.

I smile and nod, "same here, I have slept alone since Eva died" I say.

"Have you? Erm... have you had..." she blushes and puts her head down, "I'm sorry you don't have to answer that it's none of my business" she says.

I reach for her and pull her into my arms, "I've not had sex for over five years there has been no-one since Eva died and I've never even been able to bring myself to masturbate either, the only time I have had any sexual release was when I dreamed of Eva" I stop and Josephine turns and stares at me.

"Oh my god, that happened to you too?" she asks gaping at me. "I have been totally the same, I couldn't sleep with another man, and I was never really into touching myself but I would dream of Michael and we would... you know and I'd wake up" she says blushing furiously. I smile at her embarrassment she is so innocent, she reminds me a lot of Ana when I first met her, but Josephine is in her mid thirties.

"Come on, let's get some sleep" I say.

I feel her snuggle into my arms and she rests her head against me, and slowly we drift off to sleep.

The next thing I realise the sun is streaming in through the window and Josephine is shaking me gently. I open my eyes and stretch.

"What time is it?" I ask.

"1pm we are about an hour outside San Diego" she says. I rub my eyes and yawn.

She is sitting on the edge of the bed staring at me, I look at her and open my arms, and she smiles and shuffles into them. I feel that she isn't as relaxed as she was earlier.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

She looks up at me, "Nothing, I'm just nervous about meeting your daughters" she says, "Not to mention all your family in Seattle it's a little daunting" she says.

I nod, "I can understand that, but they are all very nice, they don't bite... well Christian has his moments but his bark is much worse than his bite!" I say with a grin.

"What if they don't like me… what if they think I'm a gold digger?" she asks.

"They will love you and they won't think any such thing" I say firmly. I kiss her gently on the lips, "Don't worry" I say.


	29. Chapter 29

CHAPTER 29

As the plane makes its descent into San Diego, I am nervous and I can tell Josephine is as well, Zoe is beside herself with excitement she is anxious just to get off the plane and see her sisters and grandfather again. I sit beside Josephine and hold her hand tightly as the plane lands she is very quiet and very pale. I lean across and place a small kiss on her lips and whisper in her ear.

"Stop worrying, they will love you" I say gently, she gives me a small smile and nods but she doesn't say anything.

As soon as we are able to, Zoe is out of her seat and bouncing by the door, Raul laughs at her exuberance. Andy, Zoe's CPO is also here but he flew out separately to meet up with Paul and Davis and will be waiting for us on the tarmac.

I grip Josephine's hand tightly as the doors open. Zoe has gone as usual and is half way down the steps. She flings herself at her grandfather who catches her and spins her around laughing. I hear her squeals from inside the plane. As we walk down the steps I see my two beautiful daughters, I look closely at Denise she has a huge genuine smile on her face and she looks really well, I am relieved to see this but I can't help but notice the shadows still lurking in her eyes and I wonder how much it will take for the darkness to consume her again. I push these thoughts from my mind and I look at Liv, at this moment she is fending off an over excited Zoe but when she looks up and meets my gaze she smiles widely at me.

"Hi daddy" she says quietly and then her eyes quickly dart to Josephine and I notice her smile fade slightly.

We reach the bottom of the steps and I shake Victors hand warmly, "Hi Victor good to see you again" I say.

"Hello son, how are you?" he replies.

"I'm good, very good in fact" I reply and I turn to Josephine who is standing behind me with her head down and I pull her forward. "Come here baby" I say gently. She steps forward and I can feel she is trembling, I introduce her to Victor and he smiles at her and shakes her hand warmly.

"I'm very pleased to meet you" he says to her.

"Likewise" she replies.

I turn my attention to my daughters, "Denise, Olivia this is Josephine, I turn to Josephine who looks like she is going to burst into tears at any moment."Josephine baby, this is Denise and this is Olivia" I say gesturing towards them both, she manages a weak but genuine smile and holds out her hand to them. Denise doesn't hesitate and steps forward and envelopes her in a huge hug, Josephine looks momentarily stunned but responds and then visibly relaxes.

"Hi, I'm pleased to meet you, my dad has told me so much about you, and I am so happy for you both" she says. I smile gratefully at Denise, I knew I could rely on her to make Josephine feel comfortable.

Olivia steps forward and shakes Josephine's hand, she is less warm but her greeting is still genuine. "Hi I'm Liv I'm pleased to meet you" she says politely.

"Thank you both for your kind welcome, I was very scared about meeting you" Josephine says nervously, but I can see her confidence rising significantly with the welcome she has received.

"Why?" Liv asks.

Josephine smiles at her, "Because you love your dad and you love your mom and suddenly a strange woman is coming in to the mix and I was sure that you would think I didn't have genuine intentions, but I just want to make it very clear from the very start, I have no intention of replacing anyone. I know exactly how it feels to lose someone you love, and as for having an ulterior motive to be with your father, let's just say I nearly had a nervous breakdown when he bought me a new cell phone!" I smile she is rambling and over sharing because she is so nervous.

She looks at me and smiles, and I wrap my arm around her and squeeze her gently. I am hoping we can get off the tarmac and into the cars I can see Zoe getting restless, I am beginning to feel uncomfortable but I don't want to rush Josephine until she is ready to leave.

Liv looks at her and thinks about what she said and she nods, "Thank you for being honest, I will admit I did have those thoughts about you" she begins.

"Liv" Denise says warningly, and she slaps her arm. I stiffen at Liv's words, I don't want Josephine upset but I know Liv has issues about our relationship. I go to speak but surprisingly Josephine steps in.

"No, Denise please let her speak. I need to know what she thinks of me" she says, but her voice is shaking a little. I pull Josephine a little closer but reach out my hand to Liv as well so she doesn't think I am picking Josephine over her.

"I just feel a bit funny… it seems strange. I mean, dad hasn't looked at anyone since mom died and just seeing dad with another woman who isn't mom, and it all seems to have happened so quickly" she says quietly but stops and puts her head down. Josephine smiles at her, and reaches for her hand. I immediately step back Liv looks up at her in surprise but doesn't pull away which I take as a good sign.

"Olivia, thank you for your honesty, this is good we need to talk about this and say what we are thinking that way we can talk about it and reassure each other. You are right it has all happened very quickly, but I really like your dad and he said that he really likes me too. I don't want to replace your mom, I don't want to and I never could. I understand totally how you feel, when my daddy died when I was a little girl and my mom started dating again I felt exactly the same way. Would it be ok if we just start out as friends, because I have heard so much about you girls and I would love to just be your friend?" she says.

Liv smiles and nods, "Ok" she says and to my surprise she steps forward and offers Josephine a small awkward hug.

"Thank you" Josephine says.

Denise steps forward and takes Josephine's hand, "come on lets get off the tarmac and get back to my granddads house" she says and she leads Josephine to the waiting cars. Josephine takes a shot look at me and I smile encouragingly at her. I watch as my daughters climb into their grandfather's car and take Josephine with them, I look at my security team.

"I guess I'm riding with you guys!" I say and Raul chuckles as he climbs into the car.

I am pleased with how the first introductions went. I had expected some resistance from Liv as she had been pretty cynical but she had reined it in more or less and been polite which I appreciated.

We pull up at Victor's house next to Victor's car and as I step out of the car in front of the humble little house I see Josephine stop dead staring at the house. I am immediately by her side and I put my arm around her.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

She shakes her head, "This house, it reminds me so much of my childhood home, it feels familiar and comfortable" she says as she takes my hand and squeezes it.

We step inside, "Welcome to my home" Victor says warmly, he had heard what Josephine said and he gave me a meaningful look. I realise once again that my wealth makes her uncomfortable and I look at my daughters who are also watching Josephine closely and I see Liv relax and she walks up to Josephine and pulls her into the room.

"Come on I'll show you around" she says. With that my daughters and my girlfriend are gone and I am once again forgotten.

"I think that went better than I thought it would" Victor says as he walks up to me.

I nod, "I was worried about Liv, she seemed so cynical and resistant" I say.

Victor shakes his head, "No she wasn't Gideon, she just doesn't want to see you get hurt, plus she doesn't want you to forget her mom" he says.

"I could never forget Eva" I say.

Victor puts his hand on my arm, "I know that and you know that, and from what I have seen Denise also knows that, but Liv is that bit younger and it's harder for her" he says. "Besides I get the impression from Josephine is that she still loves her late husband too" he says.

"How did you know that, she didn't say anything?" I ask incredulously.

Victor taps his nose, "I'm a cop Gideon I notice things, she is a very sensitive and genuine woman, but she still loves her husband dearly so don't rush her or overwhelm her with your lifestyle or she will run" he says, then after a pause he adds, "and she did say something, as she was walking away with Liv she said that she and Michael were going to buy a house just like this but it never happened" I stop and stare at him as I didn't hear her say that.

I go in search of my family and find them in Liv's room. Zoe is talking to her sisters telling them what she has been doing with Josephine. Denise is sitting close to Josephine and she is talking about the baby, Liv is watching carefully and participating but not saying much, I stay out of sight and just listen to them.

"So Denise, you know you are having a little boy?" Josephine asks.

"Yeah, we found out just before Josh died" she says.

"Well I'm sure you will tell your son how happy his daddy was when he found out about him?" she says gently.

Denise sniffs and I want to go to her, "I love Josh so much, it hurts so much that he won't be here with me to raise our son" she says with a sob.

"Oh come here sweetie" I hear Josephine say. I peep down the crack of the doorway and see Josephine hugging Denise tightly and rocking her. Liv is watching them but not saying anything and Zoe is sitting holding Denise's hand.

"It does hurt when you lose the love of your life, when my husband was murdered I wanted to die right there with him, but you have to be strong you have to keep going. It is hard when your heart is breaking. You will never forget Josh, but slowly over time the hurt decreases and although it will never fully go, you will learn to live with it and cope with it. It could take a year it could take ten years there is no set time but it will happen, but it is still very raw for you at the moment. You are lucky too you have your son, so you will always have a part of Josh who lives on, and it will be hard but you have your dad and your family who will support you and help you. Your dad tells me you are all really close and that's a good thing because you know you have a lot of people that you can lean on" she stops. I smile she hasn't been presumptuous as to push herself forward as part of Denise's support network.

"Thank you Josephine that all makes sense" Denise says quietly.

"Well I have been there" Josephine says sadly.

"How did your husband die, you said he was murdered?" Denise says, I hear the room quieten as if everyone wants to hear the answer to this question.

"Well, it was just over five years ago, actually my husband died around the same time as your mom, I remember seeing your dad at the hospital when Michael was brought in. Anyway, we were travelling home on the subway and a man tried to mug me, and take my purse. Michael stepped in and tried to stop him and the man stabbed him… he died in my arms" she says.

I hear Liv's voice "Oh god that must have been awful" she says.

"It was, I felt very guilty for a long while" Josephine says.

"I feel guilty too" Denise says.

"Why do you feel guilty Denise?" Josephine asks.

"Because Josh saw the car coming and moved himself to protect me and the baby, he shielded us with his body and by doing that he died" she says.

"Sweetie that was very brave of Josh, but it wasn't your fault. Did you tell him to do it?" there is a pause and I assume Denise is shaking her head then Josephine continues to speak, "he decided to do that, it was _his _decision to protect you and his son" Josephine says.

"Yeah that is what Dr Travis says, but every time Ryan Landon starts saying things it makes me doubt and I start feeling guilty again" she says.

"Well, your dad has told me a little of what Mr Landon has been doing and he is hurting really badly at the moment and he isn't thinking clearly. When he does I'm sure he will regret his actions but we all have to wait for him to reach the point where he is thinking clearly. You have your family who are supporting you don't you?" Josephine says.

"I have, thanks Josephine, I'm glad you and dad got together" she says.

"Thank you" Josephine says.

I hear Liv again, "Yeah, I'm glad too, you talk a lot of sense… but you won't try and take our moms place will you?" she asks.

"Olivia, please rest assured I would never ever want to take your moms place, it wouldn't be right... I know, when we get back to New York perhaps you could take me to her grave so I could pay my respects to her?" she asks.

"I'd like that, and perhaps you could show us your husband's grave and we could pay our respects too" Liv says enthusiastically.

"I would be honoured to show you Michael's grave" Josephine says her voice thick with emotion.

I am about ready to cry and upon hearing this I decide to make myself known.

"Here you all are" I say brightly.

"Hi daddy!" Liv says and stands and comes to me and hugs me tightly.

After a light lunch, we head out with the information that Raul found out about Brett Kline. First of all we go to see Dr Travis and I greet him warmly and we lament the long period of time that has elapsed since we last saw each other in person. Liv and Zoe have gone with Josephine to the mall as Josephine said she would like to get some more art products and Liv has told her of a good art stockist in the mall, but I think it was a ruse to spend more time with Liv and give Denise and I time to talk.

After I have finished catching up with Dr Travis Denise grabs my hand, and before Dr Travis can say anything else she is pulling me urgently.

"I need to show you something dad" she says and leads me into Dr Travis's office, she points at the sofa.

"What is it?" I ask in confusion.

"Here, look dad, mom signed it. Dr Travis said she used to sit just here" she says as she touches the battered seat.

I step closer and I see Eva's signature I touch it and I feel oddly calm and comforted. Dr Travis watches me carefully. I pull myself together and we spend a short time discussing setting up regular Skype sessions for Denise when she returns to New York. When we have finished I watch my daughter hug Dr Travis warmly and thank him for everything he has done and then we leave, the next stop is Brett Kline. Raul drives us to a small house, it's getting late and I want to leave California before it gets too late.

"What if he's not in?" Denise asks as we pull up.

I shrug, "We'll play it by ear, someone is in, there is a car parked in the driveway" I say.

"That's Nick's car" Denise says obviously recognising it.

"Who is Nick?" I ask.

"Brett's son, he came to pick him up from Granddads house when he came for dinner" she explains. I nod and step out of the car and walk up to the house. It is similar to Victor's house, the same sort of style and it surprises me, it's not something I would have expected from Brett Kline, not the Brett Kline I remember anyway.

I knock on the door and after a moment it opens and a young man stands there and stares at me, he turns his attention to Denise and I see recognition cross his face and it lights up with a genuine smile.

"Hi Denise, what can I do for you?" he asks and then takes another shot look at me.

"Erm, hi Nick is your dad home? This is my dad Gideon Cross and he wants to talk to him" she says introducing me. The young man holds out his hand to me politely and I accept it.

"Hi I'm Nick Kline, I'm Brett's son" he explains, "Hang on I'll just call my dad he's out the back chopping some logs, come in" he says and opens the door wider to let us in.

We step inside and he runs down the hallway and shouts his father.

"DAD, VISITORS FOR YOU! DENISE CROSS IS HERE AND SHE HAS BROUGHT HER DAD" he yells.

Moment's later a shirtless Brett Kline walks towards us hastily pulling on a t shirt and wiping his face with a towel, Nick hands him a bottle of water which he gulps down and he stares at me warily.

"Well this is a surprise" he says.

I hold out my hand to him, "It's been a while" I say and smile reassuringly.

He accepts my hand and nods "it is, it must be what 18 years or so?" he says.

I nod "Something like that. Look, my daughter told me how you assisted her and I just wanted to thank you personally, you didn't have to but you did" I say.

Brett holds up his hands, "Look man the guy was a complete nutcase, I would have done it for anyone in the same situation, he needs help" he says.

"Well thank you anyway, and any time you are in New York feel free to drop in you will be made welcome" I say.

Brett smiles at me, "Thank you Gideon that's very kind of you, how is your step father he was a good man as I recall?" he says.

I smile as I think of Chris, "He's very well, he's retired now and my brother now deals with the day to day running of Vidal Records" I say.

Brett smirks as I mention Christopher. "Aah yes the infamous Christopher Vidal Junior" he says bitterly.

I smile politely, "Christopher isn't the man you remember him to be, he has changed considerably over the years and we have a good relationship now" I say.

"I'm really pleased to hear that" Brett says with sincerity.

"Do you see any of the other band members?" I ask casually.

Brett shakes his head, "No, not really I see Darrin from time to time, but he runs in different circles now, he's still in the music business and I don't know if you knew but Eric died soon after we split up - overdose" Brett shakes his head, "He always had issues though" he adds.

I nod, "I did hear" I say. "And you settled down and married and had a family?" I ask.

Brett smiles widely, "Yeah come through, and I can show you some pictures" he leads me into a comfortable sitting room there is a shelf littered with photograph frames filled with family members. He point to one of the young man who answered the door.

"This is my eldest son Nick, you met him when you arrived he lives with me now, my wife and I divorced a few years ago, but we stay civil for the sake of the kids" he says.

I nod. He picks up a group photograph and point out everyone in it, "This was taken at Christmas, it was my ex wife's turn to have the kids, but she took this for me. That's Nick of course, that's Toby he comes next and my youngest son Kyle, and that's my little girl Rosie she's the baby" he says proudly.

"You have a lovely family" I say.

"Thank you Gideon and so do you, I followed you guys for a while you have three daughters don't you?" he asks.

I nod, "yes, Denise here, Olivia who you have also met I believe and my youngest Zoe" I say.

"And you are going to be a grandfather too" he says and points at Denise.

"I am" I say and smile as I do so.

"Look I'm sorry I haven't offered you a drink or anything" Brett says suddenly.

I shake my head, "Don't worry we won't stay, as I say it was just a quick visit to thank you for everything you did for Denise" I say.

Brett nods and then I hear a guitar playing and a voice, Brett smiles, "Sorry that's Nick, I've tried to warn him but he's determined to follow in his old man's footsteps into the music business" he says shaking his head.

I pause and listen, "He's very good" I say.

"He is, he has a damn sight more talent than I ever had, I really don't want him to go into the music business but he won't be told" he says.

"If you are ever in New York tell him to drop by" I say and I hand Brett my card, "I'll take care of him if he wants to seriously take that route" I say.

Brett nods and pushes the card into his pocket, "Thank you I appreciate that" he says.

We talk a while longer and then we make our apologies and leave but as we are going out of the door Brett calls my name and I turn.

"Look man, I'm really sorry for what I did I was an asshole, you were the best thing that ever happened to Eva and I'm sorry she died" he says awkwardly.

I nod, "Thank you" I say, we nod at each other and with that Denise and I turn and leave. We meet up with Josephine, Liv and Zoe and I smile at the bag of art supplies in her hand. I glance at Zoe who also is carrying a bulging bag from the same art store.

"What did you get?" I ask her, and she smiles at me.

"I got another sketch pad and some more pencils" she says and opens her bag and shows me.

"So is all your allowance gone now?" I ask.

She shakes her head, "No I still have some left" she says somewhat indignantly.

I turn to Liv, "Have you had a good time?" I ask her and she nods.

"I have, I took Josephine to a gallery which Dennie and I have been to, there are some pictures which interested me" she says.

"Really?" I ask.

She nods, "Photographs" she says, "I thought they were good and I wanted to show Josephine because I took some similar ones".

"Liv's photographs are really good Gideon, have you seen them?" Josephine says.

I shake my head, "No I haven't" I say, I am slightly hurt and I think it shows.

Liv quickly explains this, "I took them here so you wouldn't have seen them yet" she says.

I always knew Olivia liked photography I bought her a camera a while ago and I have seen some of the pictures she has taken over the years, she is talented and has a good eye for what makes a good picture.

After stopping at a cafe which Denise almost demands we go to, declaring that their chocolate milkshake is to die for we head back and get ready to leave California. Raul tells me our take off slot is 7:30 and I quickly organise everyone to get a move on and get ready to leave. All too soon we are leaving San Diego. Denise is emotional and hugs her grandfather tightly and thanks him for everything he has done for her, Liv does the same and I shake his hand but am surprised as he pulls me into an embrace.

"Take care of them all" he whispers to me and pulling me closer he murmurs into my ear "and hang on to that one she's a good one" he says with a discreet nod towards Josephine, I smile and nod.

"I intend to Victor" I say.

I pull away and gather everyone, all the bags are on board and my security team are hovering as I usher everyone on board. "Come on guys or Uncle Christian will be complaining if we keep him waiting for us" I say.

With that Zoe runs up the steps and disappears into the plane, Liv and Denise climb aboard at a more leisurely pace leaving myself and Josephine with Victor.

"Thank you for everything Victor" I say.

"You are more than welcome son" he says, and turns to Josephine, "and it was a pleasure meeting you too, take care of him and don't put up with any of his shit!" he says with a grin and hugs Josephine warmly.

She giggles, "I'll remember that" she says. She looks up and me and slides her hand into mine as I roll my eyes.

**oooOOOooo**

We land in Seattle and I have a strange feeling of déjà-vous as we prepare to leave the plane. I feel much like how I felt when I took Eva to meet Christian and Ana for the first time. My daughters leave the plane first and Josephine once more looks terrified. I grip her hand tightly and press a kiss to her lips.

"Don't be scared, you have already met Christian and Ana is a sweetheart" I say.

She nods and smiles bravely.

We walk down the steps and once more I see my youngest daughter making everyone laugh with her antics. I see Jason Taylor standing smiling widely as Zoe pulls on his arm. Christian is hugging Denise tightly and talking seriously to her, Liv is being welcomed by Ana and my security guys are standing to the side chatting with Luke Sawyer who has also accompanied my brother. I see the fleet of cars and I realise immediately why he is here.

"Gideon!" Ana walks towards me and hugs me and then she turns her attention to Josephine and embraces her. "You must be Josephine, I am so pleased to meet you" she says.

I feel Josephine immediately relax as Christian greets me and then he turns his attention to Josephine. "It's good to see you again Josephine" he says politely.

"Likewise Mr Grey" she replies.

"Please call me Christian" he says flashing his brightest smile at her.

We quickly climb into the waiting cars Christian as usual organises everyone and I smile.

"My brother is somewhat of a control freak" I whisper to Josephine.

"I heard that!" Christian says good naturedly.

"Just speaking the truth bro!" I retort.

We end up riding with Christian and Ana and he is driving us back, we quickly fall into the routine of ragging on each other and arguing about everything. Ana rolls her eyes and Josephine stares at us in surprise.

"Are they like this all the time?" she asks Ana quietly.

"Unfortunately, yes!" Ana replies, "Give it a rest guys, it's getting old!" she says with a giggle.

"Baby, you know we will never change!" Christian says with a grin as he looks at Ana through the rear view mirror.

We arrive at Christian's home and Josephine stares in awe and immediately looks worried and uncomfortable. She puts her head down and goes very quiet. Ana notices and reaches for her hand reassuringly. We climb out of the car and I notice my daughters are making themselves right at home. They see Gail coming out to meet us and they rush to greet her, she envelopes them all in a huge hug.

"That's Gail Taylor, she is Christian and Ana's housekeeper, and she is married to Jason Taylor, Christian's Head of Personal security and his CPO " I explain to Josephine, she nods but doesn't say a word, she has totally retreated into herself again and I can't help but notice the difference to the way she was at Victors house. Christian's house is impressive and very, very large but I have never really thought about it, but compared to Victor's place I can see it would be pretty intimidating to someone not used to it. Gail wanders over and hugs me tightly.

"It's good to see you all again Gideon" she says, we have long since dispensed with the formalities, and I grin at her and introduce her to Josephine she hugs her and I see Josephine relax a little.

I wrap my arm around Gail's shoulder, "Erm Gail... I don't suppose..?" I begin and she laughs and rolls her eyes.

"You suppose right, I have made you a lasagne for dinner" she says.

I hug her again and kiss her cheek, "You are a legend Gail" I say and I turn to Josephine, "Gail makes the best Lasagne it is to die for" I say.

She laughs again and addresses Josephine, "he is so predictable every time he comes to stay, after hello Gail, how are you? His first question is I don't suppose you have made a lasagne for dinner have you?" she says shaking her head I go to open my mouth and she puts her hand up to stop me, "and before you ask, yes I made extra for you to take home with you and put in your freezer" she adds. I hug her tightly again and give her another swift peck on the cheek.

"Hey bro stop fondling Gail, put her down before Jason kicks your ass and come on in" Christian calls.

I press my hand to the bottom of Josephine's back as we go inside and I feel her stiffen and her eyes widen as she takes everything in. I reach for her hand to try and reassure her and she quickly responds by slipping her hand into mine and she grips it tightly.

"It's ok baby" I reassure her. My girls have vanished, I assume they have gone to their usual rooms and Ana leads us upstairs.

"Gideon you know where you are going to… your usual suite" she says and she pauses, looking at Josephine and I quickly step in.

"Josephine baby, do you want to shack up with me in my room?" I say with a grin, she nods at me. I lead her in and once again she gasps at the room.

"Are you ok?" I ask as she sits on the bed looking a little lost.

"It's all a little overwhelming, I've never been anywhere so grand" she says staring at me helplessly. I walk over to her and couching in front of her I grasp her hands and smile reassuringly at her.

"I get that… but don't worry about it, please" I say.

She still looks worried so I wrack my brains to think of something which will bring her around and the only thing that pops into my head is the beach.

"Christian has a private beach down on the sound which I think is the most beautiful place on earth, we will go down there tomorrow and I will show you" I say.

"Ok that will be nice" she says as she smiles weakly at me.

We go downstairs and Christian comes striding towards us beaming brightly, "Come this way dinner is about to be served" he says. We head into the dinning room and my mouth starts watering as I see the two huge dishes of lasagne on the table. Gail is just putting down some garlic bread and a bowl of salad, and she looks at me knowingly and smiles. I sit down and immediately pull one of the dishes towards me.

"Dad there are other people here who want some of that!" Denise says with a grin.

"There is another one there" I say pointing at the second massive dish with the serving spoon.

Denise rolls her eyes at me and turns to Josephine "He does this every time, anyone would think he'd never eaten the way he behaves when he sees Gail's lasagne, he is a complete pig that's why Gail has to make two" she says with a shake of her head.

I grin widely at my daughter, and I am about to comment when my attention moves from Denise to Christian as he speaks to Josephine.

"Mom is looking forward to tomorrow, she is desperate to meet you Josephine" Christian says. I take a quick look at Josephine who smiles politely but doesn't say anything and I turn my attention to my brother.

"How is mom?" I ask.

He nods, "She's good, she is supposed to be retiring soon dad has cut back on his work and he is semi retired now but I'm sure both of them won't give up the reins completely" he says.

"Who else is coming tomorrow apart from grandma and granddad Carrick?" Liv asks.

"Elliot and Kate are coming and Mia said she and Ethan were coming, and Ray and Denise are also here, they flew in this morning from Detroit and are staying over at the lodge" Christian says.

I smile at that, and it doesn't surprise me that they are staying over in the coach house quarters with Jason and Gail. Josephine looks terrified at the list of people.

"Gideon mentioned these people but I am a little confused would you mind explaining who they are?" she asks nervously.

Ana smiles kindly, "Elliot is Christian's adopted brother, Grace and Carrick were unable to have children of their own and they adopted Elliot first, then Christian and then they adopted Mia. Now Kate is Elliot's wife but she was also my friend and roommate when I was at University many years ago. When Christian and I first met that was when Elliot met Kate as well. Ethan is Mia's husband but he is also Kate's brother and he was a close friend of mine as I knew him through Kate so he was invited to events and as a result he and Mia got together. We are all very close and it all worked out for the best" Ana says.

Josephine nods in understanding, "Who is Ray and Denise?" she asks.

"Ray is my father, well technically speaking he is my step father but he is the only dad I have ever known all my life, and Denise is Christian's biological mother's sister, so she is his biological aunt, and after Ray and Denise met at one of our family get-together's things developed between them and the rest they say is history" Ana explains.

I quickly step in at this point "And my Denise is named after Christian's aunt because if it wasn't for her quick thinking when Eva was giving birth, my Denise would have died. Eva went into labour and the only people present at the time were Christian, Christopher and Denise. I managed to get back in time but I also got back in time to witness complications and as Denise was being born, she got stuck but Christian's aunt just took it in her stride and gave directions and everyone did their part and she was born safely" I say.

"I'll never forget that day" Christian says quietly and he shakes his head.

"Where's Phoebe tonight?" Denise asks, I look around and realise for the first time my niece isn't here, and once again Josephine looks confused.

"Phoebe is Uncle Christian and Aunty Ana's daughter and my cousin" Denise quickly explains.

"She is out with Ray and Denise tonight" Ana explains, "They should be back later" she adds. She has hardly got the words out of her mouth as I hear a piercing squeal.

"Uncle Gideon, you are here!" and the next thing I am smothered in a huge hug.

"Phoebe, we are eating" Christian snaps.

"Sorry" Phoebe mutters and pulls away. She glances around table, "Hi Dennie, Liv, hi Zoe" she says and then she turns her attention to Josephine and walks towards her smiling widely, "Hi you must be Josephine, I'm Phoebe Grey, I'm Gideon's niece" she says and holds out her hand.

Josephine accepts it and smiles at her, "Well I'm very pleased to meet you Phoebe" she says.

"Phoebe have you eaten?" Christian asks sharply.

I watch my niece roll her eyes and Christian scowls at her, "Yes daddy I have, I have also had a great time with granddad Ray, they are getting changed and will be over in a while" she says.

My brother nods and I watch my niece excuse herself from the room.

"I apologise for my daughter's lack of manners" Christian says stiffly, I know he had had a fight with Phoebe over being here tonight and I am guessing there is a story there, but I will ask Christian about it later.

After we have finished dinner, we are sitting chatting and the door opens and Ray and Denise senior come strolling in. I immediately stand and shake Ray's hand warmly and press a polite kiss to Denise's cheek.

"Ray, Denise, good to see you both again" I say.

"Hello son, how's things?" Ray says casually.

"I'm very well thank you, please let me introduce you to my girlfriend, Josephine Harris" I turn and hold out my hand to Josephine and she walks towards me nervously.

"Josephine baby, this is Ray Steele and his wife Denise" I say.

After the introductions are made my daughters come over and greet Ray and Denise warmly.

"So Ray how are things in Detroit?" I ask.

Ray quickly accepts a bottle of beer from Christian and turns back to me, "Everything is going very well. As you know we are expanding Ella's Lodge and when Christian called to say you guys were in town and asked if we wanted to stop by as well, I jumped at the chance. I have brought the plans so you can have a look and see how it's all going" he says.

I raise my eyebrows, I knew they were looking to increase the capacity for the Detroit safe house, but I didn't realise things had gotten as far as actual plans being laid out. Ray quickly outlines that the building permission has been granted and all the relevant paperwork is in place, Elliot is undertaking the construction and when complete the site will be able to help more children at risk.

"I'm impressed" I say sincerely after Ray has explained and outlined all the details to me. I glance round and see Josephine is talking with Denise and Ana, and I smile, I knew she would feel comfortable with Denise and Ana has the knack of making anyone feel welcome. My daughters have excused themselves now that Phoebe is back.

Ray and I wander over to Denise and Ana and Christian also joins us. Denise is telling Josephine all about Ella's Lodge and explaining it was the first of the now nationwide charitable safe house scheme Christian and I conceived and how she has been involved from the very start. Josephine is very interested and is asking lots of questions. I glance at Christian and we step away from the group.

"So bro what's the deal with you and Phoebe?" I ask.

Christian shakes his head, "I am apparently suffocating her again, I thought we'd got past this shit, I thought we were doing well communicating and letting each other know what the other wanted and needed, but recently she has become secretive and sly again and I haven't handled it well. Tonight she made a point of defying me and wanting to spend time with Denise and Ray, they were seeing Elliot about the plans for Ella's Lodge and my daughter invited herself along. She just seems to be doing everything to try and piss me off again" he says.

"Is she seeing anyone?" I ask.

Christian shakes his head, "no" he says adamantly. "She was, she had a thing for a boy at school but he couldn't take the publicity and security and he called it off, and since then she has been distinctly off with us, me in particular and I feel like she blames me" he says.

I nod, "She probably does, I mean she wants a normal relationship, first of all she has to be always on her guard wondering if the guy interested in her is interested in her or her name, then she has a CPO trailing around after her and there is the ever present media who delight in sniffing out anything, and as far as she is concerned you are the cause of it, if you weren't who you are and you hadn't built what you have built she would be a normal girl able to have a normal relationship. I have had similar conversations with both Denise and Liv" I say. I see my brother's face cloud, "Look it's not your fault before you start acting stupid about it, but you need to talk about it" I say.

He considers my words and nods, slapping me on the shoulder, "Thanks bro" he says.

"No problem" I reply.

"Josephine seems nice" he says after a moment.

I smile widely, "She is, I love her bro" I say.

He snorts with laughter, "Any fool can see that!" he says.


	30. Chapter 30

CHAPTER 30

I am lying in my bed watching the sun trying to break through the clouds the rain has stopped and it looks like it's going to be a nice day in Seattle. I feel Josephine stirring beside me.

"Good morning beautiful!" I roll over so I am practically on top of her and wrap my arm around Josephine's head as she opens her eyes and stretches.

She turns her head and looks up at me and smiles. Damn that smile, it never fails to floor me.

"Good morning Gideon" she replies as she runs her hand down my arm.

"Did you sleep well?" I ask politely.

She nods, "I did, this is the most comfortable bed I have ever slept in, and it is _huge_" she says as she looks around at it. I chuckle at her expression and press a small kiss to her lips.

"What do you think of my family?" I ask.

"They are lovely, your brother still intimidates me a little but his wife Ana is lovely and seems very down to earth" she says.

I smile, "Ana is very down to earth, but that's Ray's influence. She had a rough life, her mother was a..." I stop and shake my head, realising this isn't my story to tell, "lets just say she wasn't born into wealth she had wealth thrust upon her when she fell in love with Christian and much like you she kicked against it for a long while" I say.

Josephine looks at me taking in what I have said I can see she wants to say something.

"Gideon?" she says suddenly in a serious tone.

I look carefully at her, "What's wrong?" I ask.

She shakes her head, but I can see something is bothering her, "No tell me" I insist.

"Why me?" she asks.

I stare in confusion at her, not understanding what she asking.

"I mean, what is so special about me?" she asks self deprecatingly, she shakes her head at me, "I mean, why on earth would someone like you, be interested in someone like me?"

I stare at her in disbelief and I ease myself up off of her and kneeling I pull her into my arms and I hold her tightly. I press several kisses on her neck and whisper in her ear, "because you are a beautiful woman, a very beautiful woman and I don't mean just physically. Yes admittedly I was floored by your looks when I first saw you that day you walked into that office but you also have a beautiful soul. You are kind, selfless and your goodness just shines out of you" I stop and brush her hair away from her face, "I should be the one asking what you see in me, because I have no idea what I have done to deserve you" I say quietly.

She stares at me and then leans back and pulls me back down on to her, "Gideon you are good man, I keep telling you this" she insists, I snort at her dismissively.

"Gideon, stop it you are!" she insists.

I pull away slightly and place a kiss on her lips "Look I'll make a deal with you, if you believe that despite everything I have told you and everything I have done which proves you wrong, then also please believe that you are just as worthy!" I say.

She stares at me, but doesn't say a word. She shakes her head and pats my arm, "Come on let's get up, you said you'd show me the beach today" she says changing the subject.

I lift myself up and pull her up, "Would you like to shower with me?" I ask, we haven't taken that step yet and is something which I really want to do but I am immediately concerned I have pushed too far as she looks surprised. "You don't have to if you don't want to, I just thought it would save time" I say quickly.

"No, no, I think I'd like that" she says.

I lead her slowly into the bathroom and close the door, she stands and I see she is trembling slightly, "Are you sure you don't have to do this" I say.

"No I want to, I really want to it's just... I mean the only other man I have been naked in front of was Michael" she says.

I pull her into my arms, "I can close my eyes if you like" I say jokingly, "But I would sooner be able to look at your beautiful body" I add.

I turn and switch the shower on and removing my boxer briefs I step inside holding my hand out to her, she stares at me, her eyes going wide and huge as she takes me in.

"Oh my gosh" she says and then goes red, "I'm sorry I shouldn't stare, but oh my gosh you have an incredible body" she says.

I reach for her hand and pull her towards me, "and so do you, and I want to see it" I say. My hands run down to the hem of her nightshirt and I lift it, she lets me do it but as soon as she is naked she puts her head down and tries to cover herself. I let my eyes roam over her, since she has been with me she is no longer the emaciated woman she was, she is still petite but now she eats properly she has gained weight has curves which bring me to my knees.

"Come here" I say gently I pull her into the shower and hold her to me, "Don't hide" I whisper to her.

I feel her relax slightly and I reach for the shower gel, I pull her hand and pour some into it, "Shall we wash each other?" I ask. She looks up at me and smiles and rubbing her hands together to make a lather she places them on my chest and gently moves them, washing me. I place my hands on her hips and pull her closer. As soon as her hands touch me I feel the electricity surge between us and I start to become aroused, I try and fight it so I don't scare her, but its too late she looks down at me and gasps.

"Just ignore it" I say hoarsely.

I see her considering something and then she moves her hands lower, "It's kind of hard to ignore" she says her eyes fixed on my growing erection.

Her hands move lower over my stomach and then she looks up at me, then hesitantly she reaches for me, I gasp as she takes me in her hand and I nearly come there and then but she immediately lets go.

"I'm sorry" she says.

"No, please continue" I murmur, and I step closer to her, "Can I wash you?" I ask.

She nods and I lather my hands and slowly gently run them down her body, she shivers and I pull her into a hug, as I do so I feel her hands on me again, she gently strokes me and I let out an involuntary moan. My hands move over her breasts and she gasps she looks up at me and her hands go around my neck and she pulls me down, our lips meet and before I realise what I am doing I am devouring her, and she is responding to me, feelings that have been dormant for five long years surge through me and I pull away gasping.

"We need to stop or we are going to go too far, I don't trust myself because I want you" I whisper hoarsely.

"I want you too Gideon, I have never wanted anything more" she says.

I look at her not quite believing what I am hearing, "Are you sure?" I ask.

She nods at me, "But I don't have any condoms?" I say as I wasn't expecting for this to happen yet.

"I take the contraceptive pill" she says, "not for contraception but to regulate my periods" she quickly adds, "but I understand if you don't want to take the risk" she adds. I suddenly want this more than I have ever wanted anything else, I rinse us off and step out of the shower offering my hand to Josephine and she joins me. I wrap a towel around her and dry her and then after quickly drying myself I lead her back into our bedroom she pulls away from me and immediately goes to her purse and pulls out the pills and shows me.

"See, I wouldn't lie to you" she says earnestly.

Walking towards her I take the pills from her hand and drop them back into her purse, "I believe you and I trust you, I'm clean but are you happy for me to do this without a condom?" I ask.

She nods at me, "I trust you too" she says.

I kiss her and then lead her to the bed. We sit down and I reach for her, kissing her and running my hand down to her breast, she shivers and her hands hesitantly travel over my chest I watch her carefully and as she eases herself up the bed and lies down I lay down beside her wrapping my arm around her and letting my hands travel lazily over her body, she does the same to me, we are exploring each other and it feels right. I watch her reaction carefully as my hand travels lower and I see her breathing increase, I press a reassuring kiss to her lips and then nuzzle against her neck leaving a trail of kisses I am painfully aroused and as I sit up and straddle her she reaches for me and runs her hand down my shaft. I close my eyes and my head goes back and once again I moan.

"Am I doing this right?" she asks nervously.

"Oh god yes baby" I moan.

I reach down and gently stroke her thighs and gently ease them apart I feel her shudder and I pause.

"Are you sure about this?" I ask, "We don't have to do this if you don't want to" I say.

"I want to" she replies, "But" then she stops.

I stop immediately, "But what? Talk to me" I ask.

She stares up at me and I watch as she flushes red, "You are just so big, Michael wasn't... I mean... he was... but you are..." she stops and sighs.

I smile at her, "I'll take that as a compliment, but don't worry I'll make sure you are totally ready to take me and we'll take it slowly, ok?" I say.

Josephine looks up and me and nods, "I'm sorry" she mutters.

"Stop apologising" I say.

I reach down and slip one finger inside her and I gasp she is drenched, "God baby, you are more than ready for me" I say.

She giggles slightly, "Well it has been a while, over five years" she says, I realise it's been that long for me too and this is the first time I have wanted to do this.

"Well that makes two of us, so I can't guarantee how long this is going to last" I say, I push myself between her legs and she opens her legs wider to accommodate me. "If at any time you want me to stop, just say and we stop" I say, I watch her reaction as I settle myself between her legs.

She nods, I lean down and take her breast in my mouth and lick and suck on her she moans and her hips come up to meet me. I reach down and grasp myself positioning ready to enter her. I shuffle slightly and then I look her in the eyes.

"Look at me baby, I'm going to put myself inside you now" I say, she nods and I run the head of my cock along her entrance and she shivers. I smile and then gently I feed myself into her, as I push the head of my cock inside her I gasp and slowly and carefully I inch my way in. I take my time as it's been so long for both of us, when I am almost fully sheathed inside her I nearly come right there and then as I feel her around me, its been so long and the sensation is unreal. She is so tight, she cries out as I push the final part of me inside and I pause.

"Are you ok, did I hurt you?" I ask anxiously.

"Oh god Gideon" she moans, and she grips my arms, her hips come up to meet me and I feel her body pulling me in and gripping me like a vice.

I take that as a positive and I slowly start to move, she reaches for me and runs her hands through my hair and pulls me closer. I pick up the pace a little and she starts to move faster meeting me thrust for thrust, delightful little moans coming from her every time I push into her. I feel myself quickly getting to the point of climax, this is going to be embarrassingly quick. I'm not surprised considering how long its been but I want it to be good for Josephine too, so I adjust my position and as I do so I circle my hips and she gasps, I smile and do it again.

"Oh my god!" she moans.

I can feel her tightening around me and I know she is close, I keep doing what I'm doing and I feel my balls draw up, I am so close. "I'm going to come baby, come with me" I gasp.

I feel her shuddering and she digs her nails into my back as she does so I explode and the sensation is so violent I see stars literally. I feel a little light headed it was so intense, I throw my head back gasping.

"FUCK JOSEPHINE!" I yell, I thrust a couple more times and I feel her come.

She tightens like a vice around me "Gideon!" she calls and she is panting. I collapse on her and nuzzle into her neck. I feel the tears starting to fall and I bury my head deeper. After a few moments I realise I should probably get up, I move slightly and I see Josephine is also crying.

"Shit… Josephine, baby? Are you ok?" I ask anxiously.

I sit up I am still inside her and I carefully move so not to break our connection and I pull her up into my arms. She is so quiet and I start to panic.

"Talk to me" I whisper.

"Oh god that was wonderful, thank you" she mumbles and I sag with relief.

She opens her eyes and looks at me, "You're crying, what's wrong?" she asks.

I shake my head, "That was incredible, thank you" I say. She touches my cheek, "Are you ok?" I ask and she nods her head.

"I'm sorry it didn't last too long" I mutter.

She stares at me incredulously. "Gideon don't, it was wonderful. Well it was for me anyway, thank you for showing me how to love again" she says.

I kiss her and as I pull away I run my thumb over her lip. "I never thought I'd ever do that again, thank you for making it possible" I say.

We are both a little shell shocked, I am still inside her and I really don't want to break the connection with her, we are lying down again but she is on top of me now, and I run my hand lazily up and down her back, she has her head on my chest and she sighs contentedly.

"We should really think about getting up soon" she says quietly.

"Do you want to?" I ask and I smile as she shakes her head.

"Not really" she says.

I roll us and stare down into her eyes, I press a kiss to her lips, "Thank you" I whisper, "I wasn't expecting any of that but I'm glad we did, I wanted to take things so slowly with you, but then..." I say, then I stop talking as I know I am rambling.

Josephine smiles at me, "Gideon it's alright, I wasn't expecting it either, but its best when things just happen don't you think?"

I feel myself hardening once more and I move a little and I see her respond, "Would you like to carry on?" I whisper and she looks shocked for a second but then nods and lifts her hips to meet me.

"Oh Baby!" I moan and I start to move, I feel her grip my buttocks pulling me deeper and I really start to move, she meets me thrust for thrust until we are both coming again. After two more orgasms and me shouting out loudly both times we finally decide we should get up. We head back to the shower to clean up and get dressed, before going down to breakfast hand in hand. As we enter the kitchen everyone looks up. I notice I am getting odd looks from my daughters and Christian grins at me knowingly, shit were we really that loud?

"Good morning bro, Josephine" he says.

"Good morning" I reply and brazening it out I sit down after fixing myself a coffee, I place a mug of coffee down in front of Josephine and she thanks me, she looks embarrassed and she can't make eye contact with anyone.

"So, I thought I'd show Josephine the beach" I say brightly.

Christian nods, "No problem" he glances out of the window, it's been raining but it looks ok out there at the moment, its cool though" he says.

After breakfast I go into the sitting room and Denise and Liv quickly follow me.

"Dad" Liv says quietly, I turn and look at them and I see huge smiles on their faces.

Denise walks up to me and whispers in my ear, "We know what you were doing!" she says in a sing song voice and I stare mortified at her.

"Dad, relax its ok, we are so pleased for you" she says.

"I know but I didn't expect to broadcast what we were doing to the whole household" I say.

Liv snorts with laughter, "Well in that case you need to keep the volume down" she says.

I shake my head, "Did Zoe hear me?" I ask.

Denise shakes her head, "No Aunty Ana took her outside when it became obvious what you two were doing".

I put my head in my hands "God I don't believe it, I am so sorry, please don't say anything about this to Josephine it will destroy her confidence if she thinks everyone knows" I say.

Denise smiles at me and places her hand on my arm, "Dad don't apologise, look we heard you and mom at it from an early age. When we were really young we had no idea what you were doing but to hear you earlier it was nice… obviously in a strange non pervy kind of way, but it was nice to hear you having a good time again and we couldn't be happier for you!" Denise says and then she lets out a small giggle. "Uncle Christian is not going to let it go though, you do realise that don't you?!" she adds.

I stare at my daughters, and although I am totally horrified that I had made such an exhibition of myself and Josephine not to mention now hearing the news that my intimate moments with Eva were also common knowledge, I couldn't be happier about their understanding response.

I get up and head out looking for Josephine. I find her in the library with Ana. I pause as I listen to their conversation, Josephine has also realised that we were overheard and she is apologising profusely.

"I can't believe everyone heard us, I am so sorry Ana, it was rude" she says.

I hear Ana laugh, "Josephine don't worry about it, Christian and I have been overheard many times, hell Phoebe actually walked in on us once when she was younger, and yes it is embarrassing when you realise it has happened but you are both consenting adults showing your love for each other so what's the problem?" she says.

"Gideon was very loud wasn't he?" Josephine giggles.

"He was" Ana agrees. There is a pause and then Ana speaks again, "You really love Gideon don't you?" she says there is another pause and I hold my breath as I wait for the answer.

"I do, very much. I was shocked at how quickly the feelings manifested and grew for him, the way he took care of my mother he just took charge and organised the best care for her and we will both be in his debt forever for that and the way he takes care of me… but I'm just so scared now when he realises that I'm not good enough for him and he ends it. I don't think I will survive it as I feel so deeply for him" as I hear these words I almost charge in, there and then to reassure her but I hold on to my control and continue to listen.

"Josephine, you have no idea how much you mean to Gideon do you? I'm going to tell you something now, he doesn't think he is good enough for you, he has exactly the same fears as you do, I've heard him talking to Christian and he has confided in me, I am going to tell you something, but please don't let him know I have said this, because I am betraying a confidence but he told us how much he loved you but he said and this is a direct quote, what am I going to do when she realises what an asshole I am and leaves me?"

"Why would he think that about himself? He has the most beautiful heart, he is kind and loving and... why does he have such a low opinion of himself?" she asks.

"That is for Gideon to tell you as I have betrayed him enough, but I will just say don't you think it is funny he never mentions his mother and you have never been introduced to her?" Ana says.

"Oh, I just assumed she was dead, I have met his step father and erm... his younger brother and sister, and I noticed that he referred to Christian's mother as mom" she says.

"Yes, Grace has been more of a mother to him than his own ever was" Ana says sadly.

"How did you and Christian meet?" Josephine asks, changing the subject.

I decide this is the perfect moment to make my presence known and I open the door.

"Oh now that is an interesting story!" I say and I see the two women both jump violently as I speak and they turn to see me walk up to Josephine and wrap my arm around her pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"Hi Gideon" Ana says with a grin. "It was an interesting story" she adds. We start walking down to the beach as we tell the story of how Ana met Christian and how I met Ana and Christian.

"I was a college student and my room mate Kate had secured an interview with the illusive Christian Grey for the university magazine which in itself was a bit of a coup as he _never_ gave interviews, but Kate doesn't take no for an answer... ever, so she got this interview but then on the day itself she was ill with the flu and so as her best friend I was drafted to do the interview in her place. I drove from Portland to Seattle, totally unprepared with a list of questions Kate had written and a recorder. I made quite the impression, when I was walking into his office because I tripped and fell on the floor in front of him and the rest they say is history" Ana says.

"Gideon told me that you and he were together briefly?" Josephine says.

I watch Ana's face darken as she remembers that time. "Yes, I had just split up with Christian, we had a fundamental difference of opinion and I told him I couldn't be with him as we wanted different things but he relentlessly pursued me trying to win me back, then I discovered I was pregnant with his baby and he didn't take the news too well, so I decided to leave Seattle and move to New York for a fresh start. I had met Gideon previously at a literary publishing exhibition and he had made it clear he was interested, and so he offered me a job at Cross Publishing in New York. I jumped at the chance and I went with him to New York and he told me he would look after me and my baby. I thanked him but I wasn't ready to jump into another relationship so I made it clear we were just friends... didn't I?" she looks at me and I nod, "but Christian and I talked things through and we reconciled before I even left for New York but I continued with my plan and getting away gave us both the space to think thing through and realise what we both meant to each other. Christian came around about the baby and eventually I moved back to Seattle and Christian and I married" she says.

"And you had the baby... erm... Phoebe?" Josephine says.

Ana shakes her head, "No I miscarried our first baby, it was a little boy" she says quietly.

"Oh I'm sorry" Josephine says and she reaches out and touches Ana's arm.

"Don't be" Ana replies.

"Anyway, Gideon and I stayed friends and he and Christian became acquainted as a result of our friendship and they discovered a few links between them and then things happened and then more things happened, and the more things that happened the more links we discovered between Christian and Gideon and between me and Christian for that matter and eventually we found out that Christian and Gideon were related. We assumed at first they were cousins but when the DNA tests were done they found out they were half brothers and that opened a whole new can of worms" Ana says.

Josephine is taking all this in and she looks surprised at the story, "I can't believe you all met so randomly, especially you and Christian" she says.

Ana smiles at the memory, "It was very overwhelming, Christian is a like a juggernaut. He sees what he wants and goes for it and he refuses to take no for an answer. I was not used to that or the wealth, I was an only child who lived with my step dad and I had put myself through college, by working in a hardware store. I lived on a very tight budget and suddenly this man comes crashing into my life and into my heart with more money than sense but I quickly realised that loved him and after numerous arguments where he tried to influence me with his wealth and resources he eventually realised that I wasn't interested in his money and all the add-ons, it was just him I loved. But Christian will never change he is a very generous man" Ana says.

Josephine looks up at me, "It sounds a little like our story, we met quite randomly too" she says. She stops speaking and gasps at the beach in front of us. "Oh my goodness it's beautiful" she says as she steps out of my arms and looks around, she turns to Ana, "This is your beach?" she asks.

Ana nods, "It is, our own private beach" she confirms.

"It's lovely, I love beaches, right from being a little girl, we didn't go very often but we would go up to Whihala Beach up in Hammond it was only a couple of hours drive from Lafayette and I loved it there" she says. I stare at her, as my love of beaches is well known.

Ana spots Christian and the girls playing ahead and excusing herself, she runs over to meet them. I grasp Josephine's hand and we walk across the sand.

"You like it here too don't you?" she says looking up at me.

"I do, yes" I say I pause "Possibly not the best thing to say but this is where I proposed to Eva and we renewed our wedding vows here too" I say staring out over the sound.

Josephine grips my arm tightly and I look down at her, "It's ok Gideon, I showed you where Michael proposed to me in Central Park and you know how much that place means to me. I'm honoured that you want to share your memories of you and Eva with me" she says.

I turn and pull her into my arms, "I really don't deserve you" I say quietly.

**oooOOOooo**

After an afternoon on the beach, Josephine astounds me. We have a game of baseball on the sand. She is amazing she swings at the ball and Christian stares in shock as it goes sailing past him.

"Well now!" he says with a grin.

Denise is watching from the sidelines and claps "Well done Josephine that was unreal!" she calls.

I see Josephine blush with pride. Ray and Denise come to join us and they join in briefly with the game. Zoe is in her element running around like a lunatic and Liv too is having fun, I walk over to Denise who is watching the proceedings.

"You don't feel left out do you?" I ask.

Denise shakes her head and looks surprised at my question, "Not at all, I'm enjoying watching everyone else play and have fun" she pauses and then she nods towards Josephine, "She is good for you, don't let her go" she says seriously. She rubs her bump unconsciously and I wrap my arm around her.

"I know and I don't intend on letting her go" I say.

"Is she ready to meet everyone tonight?" Denise asks.

I shrug, "I don't know, she knows Christian has planned a family get together, but we haven't really discussed it" I say.

"Well you need to make sure you are there to support her, it will be overwhelming for her and I get the impression from her that she thinks she isn't good enough for you, which is total rubbish and you need to reassure her of that" Denise says.

I nod, "I'm trying, and its totally ridiculous isn't it when if anything she is too good for me" I say.

Denise stares at me, "Dad cut the fucking crap!" she retorts. I can't help but smile at her indignant response.

Eventually everyone calls it a day as it starts to rain again and we head back to the house, it's getting late and we need to get changed ready for everyone arriving for dinner. I laugh as I see Christian carrying Zoe who is totally shattered, piggy back style on his back. We all marvel at the fact that he can do this, knowing as we do how he had issues with touch for so long.

Josephine is nervous and trembling as we head downstairs after getting ready for dinner. She keeps smoothing her hands down her dress and asking me if she looks ok, I keep trying to reassure her that she looks beautiful, but nothing seems to work.

In the end I grasp her shoulders, "What is it?" I ask.

"I don't want to embarrass you" she says looking down at her dress once more, I realise immediately what she is getting at, and I remember that Raul told me she bought all her clothes from thrift stores.

I grasp her chin and lift her head up so she makes eye contact with me, "Never, you could never ever embarrass me" I say firmly, I watch as her face flushes and she smiles weakly at me.

As we reach the sitting room people are starting to arrive. I take her hand in mine and press a reassuring kiss to her lips.

"You look beautiful they will love you, you have nothing to be afraid of" I say firmly, she nods at me and manages another weak smile.

"Ok" she says.

"That's my girl" I say and kiss her again.

I watch as she blushes as I say that, but my attention is taken by someone calling my name.

"Gideon, good to see you buddy!" I smile and walk towards the voice.

"Hi Ethan!" I say. I offer him my hand as a piercing squeal comes to my ears and I turn to see Mia rushing towards me.

"GIDEON!" she squeals as she launches herself at me.

"Hi Mia!" I say as I catch her. I ease her away and pull Josephine forward.

Josephine, this is Christian's little sister Mia and her husband Ethan, guys this is Josephine my girlfriend" I say, I stare at Mia in surprise as she slaps me hard on the arm.

"Gideon, don't talk rubbish you know I am as much your sister as I am Christian's" she says, she turns to Josephine and smiles engulfing her in a huge hug, "I'm so pleased to meet you, welcome to the family" she gushes.

"Calm down Mia" Ethan says pulling his over excited wife away gently. We all grin indulgently at Mia, she may be the same age as Ana more or less but she is still the bubbly exuberant personality she has always been, we all assumed she would calm down a little when she became a mother but it just didn't happen.

Josephine looks a little shell shocked by the encounter and Christian sidles up, "I'm guessing by the slightly dazed expression on your face you have just been subjected to Mia!" he says with a grin.

He turns towards me, "Mom and dad have just arrived" he says. I immediately grip Josephine's hand and stride across the room towards the woman who I consider my mother.

"Gideon darling!" Grace says as soon as she sees me and she holds open her arms, I don't hesitate and walk into them. My eyes close as she holds me and I bend to rest my head on her shoulder, I feel safe and loved when I am in Grace's arms.

"Hi mom" I say with all the deep affection and love I feel for this woman.

I pull away and after giving her a kiss on the cheek I turn and introduce Josephine, Grace immediately wraps Josephine in a hug and launches into asking her about her mother and asking if there is anything she can do to help. She asks who her mothers specialist is and informs us that she knows her from way back and that she is good at what she does. I introduce Carrick and Josephine shakes hands with him. I am close to Carrick but have always stopped short of calling him dad, I look on Chris Vidal as my father and have done for years but Grace is my mother and always will be as far as I am concerned. A few moments later I feel a punch in the shoulder I turn and see Elliot grinning inanely at me.

"Yo bro" he says and then turns his attention to Josephine, "Hi there I'm Elliot I'm his brother of sorts" he says and he hugs her lifting her off her feet and surprising her.

"Erm... hi" she stammers as he puts her down.

Christian once again appears grinning widely, "Josephine I can see you have just met my idiotic elder brother, I sincerely apologise" he says.

"Fuck off Christian!" Elliot says good naturedly, as he flips off his brother.

"ELLIOT, LANGUAGE!" Grace calls from across the room and we all burst out laughing and Elliot looks suitably chastised.

"Sorry mom" he calls and then he pulls Kate over, "Josephine this is Kate my wife and long time best friend of Ana" he says and Kate smiles widely and greets Josephine warmly.

"Sooo, I have to ask, what the hell are you doing with this joker?" Elliot says with a grin.

"Fuck off Elliot" I growl quietly after establishing that Grace is out of ear shot.

Josephine smiles and grips my hand, "I'm with him because I love him and he loves me" she says.

This completely shuts up Elliot as he has no idea how to respond to that and we all laugh, "You have just been owned!" Christian says taunting him.

We have a wonderful dinner and Josephine holds her own, and I can see her confidence rising throughout dinner and it fills me with joy seeing her chatting and responding to conversation around the table. After dinner the old karaoke machine is wheeled out and I roll my eyes and pull Josephine to my side.

"This is a family tradition, this old thing gets wheeled out at every family get together and we all have a go" I explain.

She stares up at me, "So I am expected to sing?" she asks in horror.

I hug her tightly, "If you really don't want to it doesn't matter, but generally speaking everyone has a go either alone or within a group, there is wide selection of songs on there from really old stuff to modern and all sorts of genre's" I say.

She nods but doesn't say anything. I see Denise looking a little wistfully at the karaoke machine and I see her wiping a tear away. Josephine leaves my side and walks over to Denise and wraps her arm around her and I see Denise telling Josephine about how Josh had sung to her. Josephine hugs Denise tightly and I hear her tell her to hang on to that memory and cherish it. I see Denise smile and they both walk away chatting.

"She is a lovely lady Gideon" I hear Grace's voice behind me.

"She is" I agree without turning. I am still staring at Josephine who is now across the other side of the room and she is still talking to Denise. I feel Grace's arm around my shoulder, and I turn to face her, "I love her mom" I say before I can stop myself.

"I know you do, that much is blatantly obvious, and she loves you too, and I couldn't be happier for you both, you both deserve it" she says.

"Thanks mom" I say gratefully. "I never dreamed I could have that kind of love again, I had difficulty believing it when I met Eva but to find it a second time seems unbelievable, I'm scared I'm going to wake up and realise its all a dream" I say.

"It's all real Gideon and you deserve it so enjoy it" she says. Grace then presses a kiss to my cheek and pats my shoulder before wandering away to talk to Carrick.

The evening progresses with the usual cheesy renditions of various classics, Carrick sings a duet with Grace which reduces everyone to tears and Christian serenades Ana. I decide I am going to sing a song and stroll towards the karaoke machine, but I stop dead when I see Josephine standing up there getting a lesson on how to use it from Christian. He points to the various buttons and smiles encouragingly at her. She nods at him and I see her thank him, I feel my daughters come and join me.

"She saw a song on there which she said would be perfect for you, and I encouraged her to sing it" Liv says quietly. I turn and look at Liv who is smiling widely.

"Really?" I ask.

Liv nods enthusiastically "dad she really loves you, she was scared shitless but she said she couldn't think of a better song to sing which said everything about the way she felt about you" she says.

I feel Denise standing on one side of me and she slips her hand into mine and Liv stands on my other side and holds my other hand. Then a moment later I feel Zoe come up and wrap her small arms around my waist.

"Josie is going to sing" she says excitedly as she looks up at me, pointing towards the makeshift stage.

"I know I've just been told" I say. I look towards the stage where Josephine looks like a deer caught in the headlights.

"Erm... hi everyone, I've never _ever_ done anything like this before, but I have found an old song which my grandmother used to play when I was a little girl and she said it was one of her favourites, it also says everything I want to say to Gideon who for some unknown reason seems to like me. While I am here I would like to thank everyone for making me feel so welcome here".

She stops and turns to the karaoke machine and presses a button, "As I say this is a very old song, originally sung by Sarah Vaughan called You Taught Me To Love Again" I see her search for me and when she finds me she starts to sing, her voice is beautiful and she looks straight at me as she sings.

As the song ends she stops and you can hear a pin drop she looks around slightly embarrassed and then everyone starts to clap. She blushes and puts down the mic and walks towards me. I am totally speechless and I swallow hard and just wrap my arms around her and hold her tightly. She looks up at me and touches my face.

"Thank you for teaching me to love again" she whispers to me.

I squeeze her "Right back at you" I whisper hoarsely.

I decide I need to sing a song, and I know exactly what I am going to sing I climb on stage and grab the mic everyone turns to look at me.

"Hi guys, now everyone knows I am very predictable when this old thing is wheeled out and I always sing the same song to my angel in heaven". I glance at Josephine, "but tonight if you will all indulge me I am going to sing another song for the lady who has taught me to love again".

I stop and I press the button, "this is called Love Walked In by a British rock band called Thunder" I explain and as the music starts I begin to sing.

I keep my eyes fixed on Josephine as I sing and when I have finished she has tears pouring down her cheeks and I walk towards her and press a kiss to her lips.

"Gideon that was beautiful" she says.

"Thank you, it felt right singing it and the words, I felt they were relevant to how I feel about you" I say.

I hear her phone buzz and she presses a kiss to my lips before she excuses herself to answer it. I watch as her face goes white as she reads the message and she starts trembling. I quickly walk up to her.

"What's wrong?" I ask, "Has something happened to your mother?" I ask.

She shakes her head, "No, nothing like that" she says and she smiles at me but there is something off about it. I frown but don't push her.

"Ok, but if there is something wrong you need to tell me so I can help you" I say.

"I'm fine honestly Gideon" she assures me and she pushes her phone into her pocket.

As the evening draws to a close and everyone goes home I notice Raul approaching me, "Excuse me sir I need a word" he says.

I nod and follow him out of the room, "What's wrong?" I ask.

He sighs, "Landon" he replies.

"What the fuck has he done now?" I ask.

"Nothing but he has returned to New York and considering you are all heading back there tomorrow I thought a heads up was in order " he says.

"Thank you" I reply.

"Also, I've found out how he managed to track down Denise to that shopping mall" he says.

"Oh?" I ask and he nods.

"Yeah, I can't be totally certain but it seems like the most likely explanation, I got Barney involved and that guy is a fucking genius. He managed to look at Landon's phone and it appears he downloaded a phone tracking app, now we already know he got Denise's whereabouts from the text Denise sent to Jodie so all he would have to do is put in the phone number into the app to give him a location".

"But I made sure he is blocked on Denise's phone?" I say.

Raul nods, "Yes but that block only prevents him from making calls and sending texts to that particular number it's doesn't stop him from tracking that particular phone" he says.

"I see, but how did he know to go to San Diego, I mean California is a big place?" I say.

Raul shrugs, "Still working on that, but it is common knowledge that Mr Reyes lives in San Diego and that he is your father in law" he says.

I see Josephine is watching and after thanking him for the information I excuse myself and walk up to her and she looks questioningly at me.

"Landon has gone back to New York, Raul was giving me a heads up because that is where we are going and also because Denise is coming with us" I explain, "he has also discovered how Landon managed to track down Denise to that mall" I say.

"How?" she asks.

"Phone tracking app on his phone" I say bitterly.

She nods at me but doesn't say anything.

"What's wrong baby?" I ask, I'm starting to panic a little as since she got that message she has pulled away significantly and I can't for life of me figure out why and my imagination is starting to run away with me.

"Can we talk in private?" she asks.

I nod and we head up to our room.

"What is it?" I ask as soon as we are alone.

"Gideon, its about earlier I need to tell you something and I'm worried about how you will take it I swear to you I have no idea how he managed to get my number but he has and he has been harassing me, wanting me to help him get access to Denise, I swear to you I wouldn't do that, not after the way he upset her but he said... he said that he knew things about me that he would make sure you found out and that you wouldn't want me if you found out, so I've made a decision. I don't want him to hurt Denise anymore so I am going to tell you everything myself and then I will go and you can forget you ever met me" she says.

I stare at her in horrified shock, "What the fuck?!" I exclaim loudly.

I gasp and I feel my legs giving way, I sit down with a thud, fear is coursing through me and I want to grip hold of Josephine and tell her not to be so damn stupid but I manage to contain myself instead I grasp her hand and pull her down next to me on the bed.

"Talk to me and tell me everything" I demand.

I watch as she starts to tremble and pulls her phone from her pocket and hands it to me.

I stare at it and then at her. "Open the text messages" she says.

I open it and I see a conversation which started this morning.

_**Hello Josie, **_

I read the response she sent – _**Who is this?**_

_**Ryan Landon – remember me, the man who saved you when your pathetic husband was killed - you owe me!**_

_**What do you want Mr Landon? And how did you get this number?**_

_**I want my grandson and you are going to help me and never mind how I got this number.**_

_**No go away and leave me alone.**_

_**Oh no, you are going to help me or Cross discovers what sort of person you really are!**_

_**You wouldn't?**_

_**Want to bet on that, now you are going to get me access to that bitch of a daughter of his and you are going to help me get my grandson or he finds out what a fucked up crazy ass bitch you really are.**_

I read the messages and I feel the anger surging through me, he is fucking blackmailing her. I stand up and reach for my own phone and call for Raul to join us, then I open the bedroom door and at the top of my voice I call for my brother.

"CHRISTIAN I NEED YOU NOW AND BRING JASON" I bellow.

Moments later the bedroom is full, Christian is reading the texts Raul and Jason are waiting anxiously and Denise and Liv have also arrived wondering what the hell is going on. Denise takes one look at Josephine who is crying bitterly and glares at me.

"What have you done dad?" she snaps and sits down beside Josephine and holds her hand.

I shake my head unable to articulate any words as I try to hold on to my control.

"Denise your dad hasn't done anything it's all my fault" Josephine says quietly.

Christian looks up and hands the phone to Jason who huddles with Raul and starts reading the texts I see them quickly copying the texts to their phones and then Raul looks at Josephine.

"I am going to clone your phone to mine so that if he contacts you again I will also receive the messages" he says. Josephine just stares at him blankly I realise she probably doesn't have a clue what he means. I sit down on Josephine's other side and take her hand in mine it is icy cold and she is shaking.

"Talk to me and tell me what is so bad that you think I will leave you?" I ask.

She stares around the room and I can see she is embarrassed and doesn't want to say anything. Christian quickly ushers Raul and Jason from the room and he follows them out along with Liv. Denise isn't moving and the look she gives me warns me that she isn't going anywhere.

"Ok talk" I demand.

I see her take a deep breath and she closes her eyes. "When Michael was killed I… didn't handle it very well… I had a mental breakdown, I was in a very bad place. Mr Landon was nice to me – or so I thought and he got me in touch with a therapist, but the therapist looked like the man who murdered Michael and I freaked out the first time I saw him and I attacked him, quite badly. Mr Landon made everything go away, and I wasn't charged or anything" she stops and her head is hanging low.

"Wait? Hang on, you had a breakdown and you attacked the therapist Landon set up for you because he looked like your husbands murderer?" Denise asks.

Josephine nods sadly, "Why the fuck did he engage a therapist for someone who bore a resemblance to the man who murdered her husband, that is asking for fucking trouble!" she says.

"Do you remember the therapist's name?" I ask.

Josephine thinks hard and then shakes her head, "No he came to see me at work, Mr Landon said it was to help me get over it" she says.

"But Landon didn't pay for health insurance for his employees?" I ask, I am smelling a rat already and wondering what the hell he was playing at.

"No" she says in confusion.

"So why would he put himself out for you in this case?" I ask.

"Unless, he had something to hide" Denise adds.

"But... I don't understand?" Josephine says.

"No neither do I at the moment but I am smelling something bad, none of this adds up, but you aren't going anywhere, and we will get to the bottom of this" I say firmly.

"So you are not concerned about what I did?" she asks me nervously.

I shake my head, "Not at all, because anyone in their right minds who are filled with grief because their husband had been murdered would react when confronted with a person who looked like the fucking murderer" I say.

I see Josephine relax and she starts to think, "Andrew Berrisford" she says suddenly.

"What?" I ask.

"The therapist it just came to me, Andrew Berrisford, I tried to look him up afterwards so I could go to his offices and apologise but there was no record anywhere of him" she says.

I look at Denise who raises her eyebrows.

"What was the name of the man who stabbed your husband?" I ask gently.

"Aaron... oh my god!" she says and looks up at me, "Aaron Berrisford, I never put the two together before" she says.

I call Raul and Jason back in and we quickly relate everything that that we have just put together. Josephine looks completely gutted.

"There is obviously a link between the Berrisford's and Ryan Landon" Raul says. He looks at Josephine kindly, "It appears you were caught up in something and you and your husband were just pawns" he says sadly.

"Look at me Josephine" I say firmly, and pull her towards me and I lift up her chin to look at me. "You are not leaving me. I will help you sort this out and we will find out what the fuck went on, you are not to blame for this and you are staying right here with me" I say firmly.

I watch as Josephine nods and then wrapping her arms around me she bursts into tears.

Songs:

**Sarah Vaughan - You Taught Me to Love Again**

**Thunder – Love Walked In**


	31. Chapter 31

CHAPTER 31

_One Month Later..._

**(DENISE)**

I am sitting finishing off an assignment for school, and I am feeling uncomfortable. I am up to date with all my school work and remarkably still on track to graduate early. I have no idea how but I just keep working. It helps that the work is so easy that I seem to harvest A's without a great deal of effort so as I am focussing completely on my schoolwork I am just strolling through it, It's the only thing that is keeping me sane at the moment the thought of working towards my graduation, I am almost obsessively working towards that goal.

I am getting rather huge now, its now early March and I am 32 weeks pregnant now, only eight more weeks to go, and it can't end quick enough as I feel like an elephant. My son is very active and at this moment it feels like he is doing cart wheels inside me. I rub my swollen tummy and I am rewarded with a solid kick. It's getting real now and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about Josh, and I think that is another reason why I am focussing so closely on my school work, that is to try and distract me from the unbelievable pain I feel every time Josh wanders through my mind. I wonder what he would make of the fucking mess my father and Uncle Christian has uncovered about his dad.

I can't believe Ryan Landon, just when we think we won't find out anything worse about him he manages to plummet to new depths. Trying to blackmail Josephine into getting access to me was a new low but was only the start of what my dad, uncle and their teams managed to uncover. After the initial revelations at Uncle Christian's place, Raul and Jason went into overdrive to uncover the truth. Poor Josephine was convinced dad would want her gone after it came out about her breakdown and she was mortified that her past mental health issues were being used against her in such a way. But the shocking truth when it was uncovered was worse than we could ever have imagined and brought it home to us that the only dangerously mentally unstable person is Ryan Landon.

My mind goes back to the day a few days after we had returned from Seattle when we found out the true extent of Ryan Landon's warped fucked up twistedness...

_"Hello Denise how are you have you had a good day at school?" _

_I am in the kitchen finding a drink as Josephine walks in and throws her purse down and places her briefcase on the table and she greets me warmly. After we returned from Seattle and after a lot of persistent persuasion from my father she took the plunge and moved in with my dad and us. I think dad wanted to reassure her that her past issues were not an issue and he loved her regardless and that was the only way he could think of to get that message across to her._

_"I'm good, its actually nice being back at school and it's almost like I was never away, I've not had to do any catching up or anything as I've kept on top of everything, so it's all good" I say with a grin. I hold up the bottle of water I am holding and look at Josephine questioningly and she nods so I pull one out of the fridge for her and slide it across the table towards her._

_"Thank you" she replies as she cracks it open and takes a long drink._

_"Why are you home so early?" I ask as I glance at my watch._

_Josephine smiles, "Your father asked me to come home so I was here for you girls when you got back from school, he has been really good about this business with Mr Landon – so supportive. I was sure he wouldn't want me near his family with my history but he totally understands and accepts it, but the fact he trusts me around you and felt comfortable to make that request makes me happy". I smile at her she really thought dad would drop her after it came out about her breakdown._

"_So is dad going to be late then?" I ask, as I still wonder why he asked her to come home._

_Josephine shakes her head, "No I don't think so, he said he was going to try and come home early today as well, so that will be nice if he manages to. Oh… and he said that Raul has found out something regarding Mr Landon"._

_I go cold with this news but I try not to show it. I smile at Josephine trying not to show my concern about what she has just said. I understand completely now why my dad asked what he did but she is so innocent that she doesn't realise that my dad's actions are because he is clearly freaked out about something which has been discovered. When my dad gets freaked out he goes siege mentality gathering his family together to keep them safe and what he has done today is a prime example of that behaviour whereas Josephine just believes he is being nice giving her a couple of hours off. I play along and smile politely. _

_A while later I hear the front door and I head out and see my father arriving with Raul and they both have grim expressions on their faces, he pauses as he sees me and I raise my eyebrows in question, he quickly glances around and then he comes up to me and kisses me._

_"Where is Josephine? Is she home?" he murmurs quietly._

_I nod, "Yes, she's in the kitchen, why?" I ask._

_I look up and see the pain in my dad's eyes "because I'm about to tell her that Landon was behind her husbands death" he says._

_My eyes widen in shock and my mouth drops open at this and I shake my head at him, "That is a joke right?" I say._

_My dad shakes his head sadly, "I wish it was sweetheart" he replies._

_"Do you need me there?" I ask as he looks at the kitchen door as if he wants to go anywhere else other than into that room._

_I see him considering that, "I don't know" he replies._

_"Well I do and I'm staying, this is going to destroy her so she needs every bit of support she is going to get, so come on let's get this over with, band aid time" I say as I grab my dad's hand and walk into the kitchen._

_I see Josephine turn and smile lovingly at my dad. "Hello Gideon" she says and she walks towards him and kisses him sweetly. My dad just crumbles and grabs her holding her close to him tightly. I watch as her eyes widen as it is clear he is holding her far too tightly._

_"Gideon what's wrong?" she asks a hint of panic in her voice._

_"Baby, I think you need to sit down" he says and he pulls out a chair, Josephine sits down and looks around, she is obviously worried and confused and wondering what the hell is going on especially when I sit down beside her and reach for her hand. So I try and reassure her._

_"I don't know what my dad has found out but I'm staying right here to support you both" I say adamantly, that is a lie as my dad has told me what he has found out but I'm not about to break that kind of news, that one is down to my dad._

_Raul sits down at the table looking uncomfortable and he places two large files in front of him, my dad looks at them and then crouches in front of Josephine, and he places his hands on her lap._

_I watch as he takes a deep breath and licks his lips, I can tell he really doesn't want to do this. "Baby, we have discovered a few things after what you told us in Seattle, and I need to ask you a question to try and corroborate what we have discovered" he says._

_"Alright" she replies with a small voice._

_I watch as pain fills my father's face and he grips Josephine's hand tightly. "At the time your husband was killed were you working on the PR for the court case Landon was pursuing against Microsoft?" he asks carefully._

_She nods slowly and my dad closes his eyes so this obviously means something, I wait quietly for my dad to explain._

_"Baby, from what we have found out, it appears that Landon was worried that certain things would come out about him which would jeopardise the Microsoft case and it also appears that he got it into his head that because you were working on the PR for that case you would find out his dirty secrets and use them against him. Not just you but other people who worked along side you on that case were also subjected to this warped paranoia". _

_He pauses and takes a deep breath before continuing "What you don't realise is that because Landon knew you were such a conscientious worker and often took work home with you to do, he was terrified that you were more likely to discover this information and as he was totally paranoid and totally void of any sense of morality he paid Aaron Berrisford to mug you to take your bag as he was convinced you had taken some files home with you. It turned out you hadn't but he didn't realise that. Berrisford was meant to just steal your purse to make sure you didn't take the files home. He was never meant to stab your husband. When that happened it put Landon in a tailspin and he just dug himself deeper and deeper. He saw you weren't coping with your husband's death but instead of getting you proper help he came up with a totally bizarre plan to try and destroy you completely so he could appear to help you and then have you beholden to him. I have no idea on what level his brain works and we are having difficulty believing any of this and working out what his angle actually was. We are still working on that but we are having problems trying to figure it all out, but we thought you should know what we know" he says._

_I am piecing together everything my dad has just said and he is right it really doesn't make any sense why on earth would Landon go to such bizarre and outrageous lengths unless?... oh! I have a light bulb moment and I lean forward._

_"Dad sorry to interrupt but I think I understand what he was doing, can I just clarify things?" I say._

_My dad nods and I speak, "so… Josephine was working on the PR for the Microsoft court case, right?" I say and my dad nods; "and Josephine is a conscientious worker who goes above and beyond and is totally honest and honourable?" I say and my dad nods again. "Well… what if Landon was scared she would uncover something, something he didn't want her to know because he knew she wouldn't in good conscience be able to continue to put a spin on whatever it was he was trying to hide. What if that is why he didn't want her taking files home and working on it, yes he knew she was more likely to uncover whatever it was he had done due to the fact she works so hard and diligently but what he was scared of was her reaction if she did find out, I mean what if he had done something illegal and it would come to light and jeopardise the court case, he knew that Josephine wouldn't in good conscience hide that if she knew about it because she is so honest so he decided to make sure that it never could come to light. He was freaking out thinking she had taken the files and so he knew he had to get them back, so he hired some guy to steal Josephine's purse but it fails spectacularly when her husband is murdered in the process and so then he has the added concern that Josephine is going to find out he was behind the mugging. So he completely loses all sense of reality and he makes it look like he is being a good guy getting her help but really his plan is to totally freak her out by getting the murderers brother to pose as a therapist knowing she would lose it as soon as she saw him. He came to the offices because he wasn't a proper therapist, and as planned Josephine naturally freaked and attacked the guy which was Landon's intention so he steps in again and makes it look like he has made it all go away thus making Josephine beholden to him and grateful to him and therefore making him in control and able to manipulate her totally" I stop and look at Josephine who is just sitting there completely astounded, listening to what I have said. _

_"At that point did he move you off the Microsoft case on to something less prominent?" I ask and Josephine nods, and I wave my hand in confirmation that my outlandish theory is correct; "and there we go! See, he sidelines her effectively removing the threat that he is going to be exposed whilst making it look like he is being a nice guy but still retaining the possibility for future blackmail which he has now cashed in" I say._

_My dad stares at me and Raul shakes his head, "You know you should come and work on my team, the way your brain works" Raul says with a hint of pride in his voice._

_"It just sounds so far fetched" Josephine says._

_Raul leans forward, "yes it does but you have to remember Ryan Landon's thought process isn't logical or even remotely based in the realms of sanity. This is the man who has held a grudge for nearly 40 years with a man who had nothing whatsoever to do to with the original grievance. I think Denise is on to something as he had obviously done something and I think that what he did and what he was trying to hide would have cost him his case against Microsoft"._

_"What was it… the thing he was trying to hide?" I ask._

_Raul shakes his head, "we don't know, but it's obviously something big, and it all makes sense as I have uncovered a few interesting leads but every time we try and dig to uncover it and think we are getting close we are taken down dead ends and come up against brick walls. So whatever he did do he has comprehensively buried it, but my best guess is it is corporate espionage, or possibly some kind of intellectual property theft or something along those lines and really I don't think we should push to find out considering what we now know exactly what he is capable of. He has clearly gone to great lengths to bury this and it has caused the death of one innocent person so my advice would be to leave that part well alone, but knowing what we do know about his involvement with Michael Harris's death and if Denise's theory is correct we know he is a dangerous ruthless man not to mention completely unstable " he says grimly._

_I look at Josephine and she is pale and trembling, my father stands up and pulls her into his arms and holds her tightly as she breaks down and sobs. I let go of her hand and quietly move away to leave them alone and Raul and I quietly step out of the kitchen._

_"He's fucking nutcase isn't he?" I ask quietly, Raul puts his arm around my shoulder and sighs._

_"Pretty much!" he says without any humour._

"Denise are you ready to go?" The question pulls me back to the here and now and I stand up seeing Josephine walking towards me flanked by Paul and Raul.

"Erm... I think so" I reply. I heave myself to my feet. We are getting ready to the hospital for my check up and Josephine is a permanent fixture at these appointments now. It took her a while to get over the revelations about Landon but she is determined to protect me and my baby against him and insists on coming with me to my appointments. I am actually glad to have her there as she is a lovely person and its nice having a female point of view.

"Is dad meeting us there?" I ask.

Raul nods, "He is" he replies.

We arrive at the hospital and Paul helps me get out of the car, he smiles as I struggle and I slap his arm.

"Hey it's not fucking funny!" I snap.

This just makes him smile all the wider, Josephine comes around and wraps her arm around me.

"Men have no idea sweetheart, if humanity relied on men to do this it would be extinct within a few years!" she says. I laugh at that and we head inside. My dad is waiting pacing around as we enter and he kisses me and then Josephine.

Everything is as it should be and progressing nicely and apparently I have a big baby. When the doc said this I was tempted to say no shit Sherlock as I kind of worked that one out for myself considering I resemble a beached whale. But I rein in my sarcasm and instead I ask if this is going to be a problem, but it doesn't appear to be as I am tall and have my father's stature so it is established I should be able to cope with giving birth to a large baby. We head into the scan room and I am excited as we are having a 3D scan today. I will be able see what my baby looks like and I am hoping it gives me some inspiration on what I am going to call my son. I had considered both Josh and Landon as his name but quickly discounted Landon because of the link to Josh's dad as I didn't want to give him any possible link which he could try and capitalise on. I am still toying with Joshua and I am hoping that after actually seeing my baby I will be able to make a decision.

"Have you decided on names yet?" the doctor asks me as she prepares the scan.

I shake my head, "No but I am hoping seeing him today will give me some inspiration, I have options but I want to see him before I decide" I say.

My father sits down beside me and takes my hand in his, "As long as you don't give him my name I will be happy with whatever you chose" he says with a grin.

My dad had been adamant that he would disown me if I inflicted his name on an innocent child, I was a little disappointed as I quite like the name Gideon, but my baby will be a Cross so he will have part of my father's name.

The scan begins and we are all invested in this and our eyes glued to the screen, it is amazing I gasp as I see my son. The tears start to flow as I look at him, and I gasp as I get a good look at his face. He looks just like Josh and I grip my dad's hand.

"Oh my god he's beautiful" I gasp.

"He is" my dad says and I can see he too is a little overwhelmed.

As I watch the little figure on the screen oblivious to the fact he is being watched from the outside world his name comes to me and I look at my dad, "Byron Alexander Cross" I say adamantly, my dad smiles at me.

"A beautiful name" he says, "so you have decided against giving him Josh's name?" he adds.

I look at the screen, "He doesn't need Josh's name, I mean look at him he is Josh's double" I say.

We are given pictures and I can't stop staring at my son, the feelings of maternal pride and the instinct to protect my son with my own life are so great now I have seen him. There is no way on earth I am letting Landon anywhere near him.

As we leave the hospital we are on a high, my dad has sent a message to Uncle Christian with the picture of the scan and at this moment he is talking to Uncle Christian who immediately called him as soon as he received it. We also sent photographs via text to granddad Chris and to Ireland and Christopher, and dad sent one to Grace introducing her to her first great grandchild. I send one to granddad Victor and he sends me a message back saying that I have a very handsome son and I smile. We are climbing into the car when I hear a voice call out and we all freeze.

"Get in the car now" my dad snaps and I don't hesitate, Josephine gets in beside me and holds my hand and reassures me everything will be ok. I watch as my dad confronts Landon who is walking swiftly towards us.

"When will he get the fucking message?" I say sadly as I watch from the safety of the car.

Josephine continues to hold my hand tightly and I can see her getting more and more agitated.

I watch as the police arrive and arrest Landon as he has once again violated his restraining order, but he just doesn't seem to care.

When we arrive back at the penthouse I am feeling unsettled by the confrontation with Landon, how the fuck does he know where to find us all the time? I go in search of Raul who I find in my fathers study with my dad. They both look up at me as I walk in.

"How does fucking Landon know where to find us all the time?" I ask.

Raul shakes his head, "that is what we'd like to know as well" he says, my dad walks over to me and holds me in his arms and I immediately calm and feel safe.

"I promise you he won't hurt you" he says firmly. He pulls away, "I need to get back to work, will you be ok?" he asks.

I take a deep breath and nod, "yeah I'm fine honestly" I assure him, he gives me a swift kiss and then disappears out the door.

I call my grandfather and tell him of the events of this morning, as he had called and I had missed it after I had sent him a copy of the picture of the scan.

"Hi granddad" I say and I smile as I hear his voice.

"Hello Denise, thank you for the picture of my great grandson, he is one handsome little guy" he says.

"He is, and he looks just like his daddy" I say and I feel my breath catch as I say it.

"Denise, is anything wrong?" he asks.

I break down and tell him about the way Landon turned up at the hospital and how I have no idea who is letting him know where we are and what we are doing.

"Hey, I'm coming over" he says "sit tight I'm on my way" he says.

A short while later my grandfather is standing in the penthouse with his strong arms wrapped around me, I look up at him, physically he is an older version of my Uncle Christopher and a calming influence.

"Come on let's go and sit down" he says gently.

We head into the sitting room and he sits down beside me, "Where is everyone?" he asks.

"Liv and Zoe are at school, Dad and Josephine went back to work after the hospital appointment, Paul is around somewhere and Raul went with dad to the security office at the Crossfire to try and find out how Landon keeps getting information on us" I say.

My grandfather sighs and looks carefully at me, "So essentially speaking you are all alone?" he says.

"Paul is here" I insist.

"Yes but you don't have anyone you can talk to, no company as such so you are sitting here driving yourself insane by over thinking things. Which is no good for you or him" he says pointing at my bump.

"I am doing my school work from home now, its easier" I insist trying to change the subject.

"Well I'm going to stay with you and we are going to talk about other things" he says as he wraps his arm around me.

"Ok what are we going to talk about?" I ask with a grin.

"Well... Ireland has been in touch with her mother, they seem to reconciling with the wedding and everything, and naturally she wants her mother there when she marries Gareth. Christopher isn't too happy about it as he wants nothing to do with her, but he loves Ireland and he has said he won't do anything stupid".

"How will you feel about seeing Elizabeth again?" I ask.

I have never considered Elizabeth Vidal my grandmother, there is way too much water under the bridge and she caused too much hurt for that. My grandmothers are Grace Trevelyan Grey and Monica Stanton, although I haven't seen the latter for years. There was a fall out when mom got ill and dad who was hurting badly at the time said some things which he immediately regretted but she took offence and flounced off and since then the only time I saw her was briefly at my mothers funeral. I was never close to her as she always struck me as shallow and materialistic, basing her happiness on how much it cost to buy it. I know that Grace isn't really my grandmother being Uncle Christian's adopted mom but my dad considers her his mother so it was inevitable I would look upon her as my grandma.

Granddad shakes his head, "I have no feelings either way. I don't love her anymore, I feel nothing for her, the way she treated Gideon all his life was appalling and I can never condone that" he says.

"I wonder how dad will feel seeing her again at Aunty Irelands wedding?" I wonder almost to myself, and my granddad looks at me.

"He'll be fine" he says confidently. "He has you, your sisters, us and now Josephine to support him; he won't create a scene as he wouldn't do that to Ireland, and so as long as she behaves I can't see a problem. It will undoubtedly be awkward and uncomfortable but Ireland wants her mother at her wedding and that is the main consideration and I'm sure everyone is mature enough to honour her wishes without any unpleasantness" he says.

"How are the wedding plans coming along?" I ask.

"Very well, Ireland has recruited Mia to help her" Granddad says and then rolls his eyes, "she flew in from Seattle and just got stuck in, how she manages to do that with three kids I have no idea, but she stayed for about 3 days or so to help Ireland" he says.

I giggle at this, "So let me guess – lots of pink?" I ask.

"Oh god yes" he says with a dramatic shiver.

I laugh, "Well as long as they are both happy about it" I say.

"It's Gareth I feel sorry for, he has been stuck in the middle of the preparations" he says.

The wedding is planned for mid June, my baby is due at the beginning of May and so I am a little concerned that I won't have shifted all my baby weight by the time the wedding happens. I am supposed to be a bridesmaid but I am seriously thinking of stepping down.

"Has Ireland finalised who she is having in her wedding party?" I ask.

Granddad nods, "yes she wants Mia as her chief bridesmaid which was a no brainer and she wants you, Liv and Zoe as her other bridesmaids along with Gareth's sister Jessica. Gareth has his older brother as his best man, and his groomsmen are two college friends of his along with Gideon and Christopher".

"I can imagine she is having a blast organising everything" I say.

Granddad laughs, "Yeah she is!" he agrees.

I have a lovely afternoon with my grandfather and it feels good to be with him. When Liv and Zoe arrive home from school they are also delighted to see him. Zoe immediately monopolises him as soon as she walks in the door. Just after 6:30 Josephine and my father arrive home, and my dad looks happy to see his step father, he greets him warmly and invites him to stay for dinner.

After dinner I go to my room. I am still racking my brains as to how Landon keeps finding out where we are and what we are doing. I think about who knew about my hospital appointment. It was just Dad, Josephine, Raul and the security guys… and my grandfather. I shake my head as I know for a fact none of them would purposely tell Landon; I can't shift the idea that someone in the security team is feeding information to Landon especially after Raul previously found a mole. I go in search of Raul and sitting myself in front of his desk, I ask him and voice my concerns, he listens to me and smiles at me.

"Denise, I have thoroughly checked and double checked everyone who has access to your movements and schedule its on a need to know basis and you would be surprised as to how few people are within that circle, but having said that I am reviewing security and am triple checking our team members. I have no idea where the leak is but the fact it keeps happening is concerning in itself" he says.

I nod and feel slightly reassured by his words. I look at him, "you don't think it's Josephine do you, I mean not deliberately but if he has been blackmailing her do you think...?" I stop and shake my head, not quite believing that I am actually thinking this let alone voicing that concern.

Raul shakes his head, "I really don't think she has betrayed you, I say this because after the way she was prepared to leave your dad to protect you when Landon started up his games again says to me she just wouldn't, but having said that I am looking into her movements and who she has been talking to, she may have spoken innocently to someone who is being used by Landon" he says.

"Oh I never thought of that" I say.

"It's just a theory, and I am grasping at straws because that is all I have at the moment" Raul says, "But rest assured I will find out" he insists more confidently. I smile at him but don't say anything. He looks closely at me, "Are you ok Dennie?" he asks me carefully.

I nod "I think so; I just don't like the idea of him knowing my movements, especially knowing what a complete nutcase he is, it does worry me. He is beginning to scare me now, before he was just annoying but it has escalated into something much darker and insidious with the information that he had something to do with Josephine's husband's death and I have to admit it is taking me to dark places thinking about all the possible scenarios of what _could_ happen" I stop and Raul stands and walks around his desk and crouches in front of me.

"Look at me Denise, I won't let him hurt you or your son, your dad will never allow him to hurt you so please don't let him get to you and make you think bad things, you have been doing so well" he says.

I smile again reassuringly, "I know, I know its stupid but I'm working on it, and I'm talking it through with Dr Travis" I say. With that I stand up and giving Raul a brief hug I head back to my room. I lie down on my bed I have barely got comfortable when my phone buzzes I pick it up and check the message.

_**How's my grandson, I have a room all ready for him for when I take him from you.**_

I drop the phone and panic surges through me, I feel the darkness closing in on me, I fight it, but the bad thoughts go through my head.

"DAD" I scream and moments later my slightly ajar door flies wide open and my dad stands there looking worried.

I hold up my phone with a shaking hand and tears rolling unchecked down my cheek, he reaches for it and reads the text, I see the anger in his eyes but it is quickly replaced by compassion as he pulls me into his arms and repeatedly reassures me nothing is going to happen.

"How did he get this number, I thought he was blocked? I thought that only family members, Raul and Paul have this number, it's a new one how did he get it?" I ask.

"This is obviously a different number to the one which was previously blocked so that answers that question. Now, who exactly has your number?" my dad asks as he sits down with me still in his arms.

"You, Liv, Uncle Christian, Grandma Grace, Granddad Victor, Granddad Chris, Aunty Ireland and Josephine they are the only people I have personally told, but I asked Uncle Christian to tell Aunty Ana and Aunty Ireland asked me if she could give it to Aunty Mia and Uncle Christopher and I said ok but I made it clear she wasn't to give it to anyone else, oh and Raul and Paul both know it but that's all" I say.

"This is a new number so one of those people must have passed it on to Landon, whether it is unwittingly or maliciously" he says. I nod in agreement this is getting stupid now, I feel like I am being watched and it is doing nothing for my fragile frame of mind, then it occurs to me this is what he wants. He wants me to lose it so he will have a case to use my mental health issues against me as an excuse to take my son away.

"He's doing this on purpose, to freak me out, to try and make me do something stupid so he will have a case to take my son away" I say quietly.

"Yes but what he fails to realise is he is making himself look just as unstable not to mention totally ridiculous. He is repeatedly violating restraining orders, he is harassing a minor, harassing a pregnant woman, threatening you, attempting to blackmail Josephine to get to you, the list of evidence is stacking up against him, at this rate he won't be considered fit to have access to his own kids let alone fight for custody of yours" my dad says confidently.

This makes me feel marginally better, but the doubts and the voice inside my head telling me the worst case scenario is getting louder by the day. I feel the need to change the subject.

"Did granddad tell you about Aunty Ireland getting in touch with Elizabeth?" I ask carefully. I feel my father stiffen at the mention of his mother.

"Yes" he says shortly.

"How do you feel about that?" I ask.

He shrugs, "I have no opinion on the matter either way" he says "if Ireland wants to have a relationship with her mother that is no concern of mine. I won't stand in her way, but I won't get involved either" he says.

I find it telling that he says her mother instead of our mother. He has totally ignored the fact that Elizabeth Vidal is any blood relation to him whatsoever, I don't blame him the way she behaved when mom died was diabolical. Not to mention everything she did to my dad over the years up to that point, and how she reacted when my dad found out that Uncle Christian was his brother. I have only ever heard my dad's side about everything that went on at that time as it was long before I was born but that has been backed up completely by Uncle Christian and Aunty Ana and granddad and Uncle Christopher who also gave me their opinion of Elizabeth Vidal and it wasn't at all flattering.

My bedroom door opens and Josephine peeps in, "are you alright?" she asks nervously.

I nod, "I am now thank you" I say, I pick up my discarded phone and show her the text, Josephine immediately sits on my other side and hugs me tightly offering me compassion and reassurance. My dad takes my phone from Josephine and tells me that he is going to speak to Raul, I nod and watch him leave my room, leaving me and Josephine alone.

For the first time since we returned to New York I feel unsure about if I really want to be back here but the rational part of me is telling me that I have nothing to fear, my dad is throwing everything at Landon to prevent him doing anything, but the fact remains someone who is close to me is betraying me, whether it be intentional or not and while that weakness is there I worry. I hear my sisters laughing and talking and I feel oddly left out. They have no concerns, worries and responsibilities; I rub my bump trying to shake the melancholy which seems to be overpowering me. I need to stop this or all the progress I made in California will be for nothing.

**(GIDEON)**

I walk into Raul's office and throw Denise's phone down on the desk in front of him.

"Now what?" he asks in a resigned way staring at the phone.

"Landon, taunting Denise, he has got around the block by getting a new number and somehow he got this new number and is now making full use of it" I say.

Raul picks up the phone and reads the message, he makes a note of it and takes a screen print of it to add to the growing collection of evidence against Landon that we have.

"I have checked and triple checked every member of the security team and there are no leaks there, so it appears that the leak is from within the family. Which leads me to believe that someone is unaware that they are feeding Landon this information, as every single person knows the trouble he has caused and wouldn't deliberately pass on that information. I have looked deeper into Josephine's movements and she is as clean as a whistle, which if I am honest I expected. She was prepared to leave you to protect Dennie so there is no way she is going to do anything. Which narrows things down to your step father, Christopher and Ireland. I have already disregarded Victor, Christian, Mia and Elliot, and the rest of the Grey's. At this moment I am leaning towards Ireland, I am going to look into her fiancé's past as he is the unknown factor and see if there is any link with him to Landon as she may be innocently telling him things and he is then feeding it back to Landon that way, but apart from that I am at a loss. I will look at Christopher, but at this moment I'm going with my hunch that it's Ireland – but not deliberately".

I nod, I feel sick that my little sister is possibly being used by the man she loves and is planning to marry.

"I'll leave it in your hands" I say as I stand up. Raul nods at me and returns to his work. I am feeling helpless, I need to protect my daughter and my grandson from this man but somehow he is still finding a way in.

**oooOOOooo**

The next day Raul comes to me as I am sitting in my office at the Crossfire he looks defeated which isn't a look I readily associate with him, he shakes his head at me.

"Gareth is clean, no links whatsoever to Landon" he says.

"So we are back to square one" I say leaning back in my chair. I am relieved that my sister isn't being used by her fiancé as I didn't relish the idea of having to tell her that, Raul nods.

"I'll keep searching there must be something we are missing" he says as he rubs his eyes.

"I'll go back to Landon and dig around there see if I can come up with something and work it back that way its the only thing I can do at the moment, he is getting his information from somewhere and an income. Janice took him to the cleaners when she divorced him and he lost LanCorp to you, I'm still trying to find out where the money is coming from and hopefully that will then lead us to our mole, but he is very good at covering his tracks". Raul says. I nod and watch him leave, I know he won't give up until he finds out.

As I am working my intercom buzzes and I press the button and Scott's voice comes through to me.

"Yes Scott what is it?" I ask, I glance at my watch, my next appointment isn't for another 15 minutes, if they are early they can damn well wait.

"Mr Cross I have Mrs Vidal in reception asking for you" he says hesitantly.

I immediately go cold, "My mother?" I say incredulously.

"Yes sir" he replies, clearly at a loss to know what to do.

"Send her up" I say with a sigh. I haven't seen my mother in the flesh for years, the last time I saw and spoke to her was when Eva died and she tried to cause trouble with my daughters after the funeral.

As she walks into my office I stand, my ingrained manners and social graces making me react rather than any other reason. I stare at her, she has aged considerably but she is still immaculately dressed as she stands in the doorway of my office.

"What the hell do you want?" I ask the words tumbling out of my mouth before I can stop them.

"Gideon, is that any way to speak to your mother?" she asks.

I snort derisively, "You are no mother of mine, you lost the right to call yourself that years ago" I say.

"Yes I know you consider _that _woman in Seattle your mother, but you forget that I was the one who gave birth to you" she says.

I shake my head, "And that was the last maternal thing you did for me. 'that woman', has been more of a mother to me and has given me more maternal love and affection in the relatively short time I have known her than you ever gave me, so tread carefully when you speak of Grace Trevelyan Grey or any other member of my family as I won't tolerate you being rude about any of them" I say warningly.

She sniffs and waves her hand dismissively. "I am here because Ireland wants me at her wedding, and I don't want there to be any unpleasantness" she says.

I raise my eyebrows, "There won't be any unpleasantness on my part, I am not going to do anything to spoil my sisters day, so as long as you leave me alone I won't even acknowledge your presence there" I say.

My mother nods, "How's Denise?" she asks suddenly.

I narrow my eyes at her and fold my arms, "She's fine – and I do have two other daughters as well if you remember?" I say sarcastically.

She sighs at me, "Yes of course you do, but Denise is pregnant with my great grandchild" she says.

I snort again, "Seriously?" I say, "You think you can waltz back into our lives as if nothing had ever happened and play the doting grandmother and great grandmother. Zoe doesn't even know you, Liv has a vague memory of you accosting her and Denise at school shortly after Eva died, and Denise, well I think she told you quite clearly what she thought of you" I say.

"I want to make amends, I want to apologise to Denise and to Olivia as well for the way I behaved when Eva died, none of us are getting any younger and I want to be in their lives and to meet my great grandson when he is born".

My head whips up at these words, "How did you know she was expecting a boy?" I ask.

She looks momentarily startled, "Ireland told me" she says, "I didn't realise it was a secret" she adds.

"It's not, I just wondered that's all" I say, my mind is suddenly working over time; surely my mother isn't the link with Landon? Ireland has inadvertently told my mother things, my mother could easily have got access to Ireland's phone and found Dennie's number, surely not?

"Do you have a number I can pass on to Denise?" I ask, as a plan is forming in my head as I say this. She nods and she reaches for a post it note on my desk and scribbles down a number and hands it to me, I push it into my pocket. "I'll give this to Denise and she can make up her own mind whether or not she sees you" I say.

My mother smiles it's not a genuine smile, more a relieved one which immediately makes me even more suspicious.

"Thank you Gideon" she says.

With that she simply turns and leaves. No goodbye, no motherly gesture, nothing. She just leaves. I am on high alert at her behaviour and an ominous feeling almost overwhelms me. I immediately pick up my phone and call Raul and tell him my suspicions and give him the phone number my mother provided to trace and look into, there is a long silence before he speaks.

"I never even considered Elizabeth Vidal, bearing in mind you two were estranged, but although the thought of it is totally unbelievably wrong on so many levels it can't be discounted as a possibility, I'll look into it straight away and see if anything comes up" he says.

I thank him and hang up. I am hoping that my suspicions are wrong but I wouldn't put anything past my mother and I realise that is a really sad thought. I put it out of my mind as Scott informs me that my next appointment has arrived for the scheduled meeting. I pull on my jacket and tell him to show them in, and try and focus on the matter in hand.

I am finishing up for the day when Josephine comes into my office smiling widely at me, my heart leaps as I see her and my breath catches as she walks towards me.

"Hi" she says as she lifts herself up onto her tip toes and holding onto my arms presses a kiss to my lips.

I immediately wrap my arms around her and pull her into a more passionate kiss and I am rewarded by a small gasp as I do so, she always does this and it never fails to excite me. I put my hand on her behind and pull her close to me pressing her against my now very hard dick. As she feels my erection she giggles.

"You seem to be very pleased to see me" she says.

"Oh god I am always pleased to see you" I whisper in her ear and pull her even closer. "Let's get home so I can have my way with you" I say.

"Is that a promise?" she replies with a grin.

"Oh yes, most definitely!" I reply as I practically drag her out of my office.

We reach the car and Raul greets me with a grim expression. "Sir, I need to talk to you about something" he says.

I climb into the Bentley with Josephine and gripping her hand tightly, I look towards Raul who sits in the front he looks at me through the rear view mirror and I see sympathy in his eyes and at that moment I know what he is going to say.

"Sir I have discovered the identity of our mole" he says, I feel Josephine lean forward taking notice she has been as invested in finding out who was feeding Landon information as I was. I don't say a word and Raul continues to speak. "It appears your hunch was correct sir, I'm sorry" he says sadly.

Josephine looks from Raul to me in confusion, "Who is it? Gideon? What's happened, Who is doing this?" she asks.

I shake my head "I'll explain everything when we get home" I say.

Josephine nods, "Ok but who is telling Landon?" she persists.

"My mother" I reply shortly and I hear Josephine gasp in shock.


	32. Chapter 32

CHAPTER 32

"So there you have it" I say as Raul finishes telling us what he found. Josephine sits open mouthed beside me on the sofa in our sitting room, Denise is shaking her head and Raul is sitting with his hands clasped in front of him.

"I'm sorry sir, I didn't even consider her for a moment" he says.

I shake my head, "Forget it Raul, she would be the last person I would have thought of too, had she not made that appearance today at my office, and practically begged to see Denise. She was acting out of character, and every time she makes overtures of wanting to build bridges I am immediately on alert" I say.

"That fucking bitch" Denise says in her usual forthright way. "She has no fucking shame" she continues to rant.

I can't help but smile, I understand Denise's anger I too am livid but I don't show it.

"Why would she do this?" Josephine asks "She is your mother for god's sake" she says.

Denise snorts, "That woman has no idea what being a mother involves, she doesn't have a maternal bone in her body, anyone who could allow their child to be sexually abused and ..." she stops and looks at me apologetically.

I sigh as Josephine is looking from Denise to me and back again wondering what is going on. "Gideon?" she says questioningly and immediately reaches for me and holds my hand.

I shake my head, "It happened a long time ago" I say trying to shut this down, but I know she will want to know, and as the spectre of my mother has come up again it is inevitable that my past will also come up, I look at Denise and she looks apologetically at me and then leans forwards me and touches my knee.

"Tell her dad, you two want to be a couple, you trusted mom with it and you trusted me, and apart from my brain to mouth malfunction a moment ago I have never told another living soul, you reconciled it years ago, none of what happened was your fault you have accepted that, so tell her, she trusted you with her dark secrets and she wants to help you and she needs to know what kind of person she is dealing with, because... and no offence here Josephine, but she does try and see the good in people, and there are no redeeming features whatsoever when it comes to Elizabeth Vidal so she needs to know to be prepared" Denise stops and glances at Josephine before returning her gaze to me.

I nod, Raul stands up and goes to leave, he told us that there are financial links to Landon and her phone records detail calls to Landon's number which correspond with the times he has then gone on to either approach Denise or call her. It all appears to be pretty conclusive.

"Gideon, talk to me, I had an idea something had happened from what I learnt when I Googled you and your Ella's Lodge charity and the Crossroads Foundation, but I never liked to bring it up as I didn't want to pry and I never really dug in depth as it didn't seem like the right thing to do" Josephine says, "What did that woman do to you… did she abuse you?" she persists.

Once more I look at Denise and she nods her head reassuringly and gripping Josephine's hand I recall my past and start to tell her about the car crash that was my childhood.

"Most of it is public knowledge and readily available when you Google me and from what you have hinted you are aware but didn't like to confirm" I begin and Josephine nods, "When I was about 4/5 years old Geoffrey Cross, the man who I had always assumed was my father died, he killed himself to avoid prison after being found out – his company was the front to a huge ponzi scheme which bilked millions from investors, investors including Ryan Landon's father Eric. Anyway, to cut a long story short after my father's suicide my mother quickly remarried and restarted her life. She met Chris Vidal and solidified that relationship by having Christopher and Ireland. I had never felt loved by my mother, she would always tell me, you are just like your father and that I was a naughty boy, I didn't understand at the time what she meant and I just believed I was a bad person, when she remarried and had Christopher and Ireland I was pushed out even more and felt like a stranger in someone else's home, I felt unwanted and unloved. I was angry and confused everything that I had known all my security and everything that was familiar to me had been taken away from me and I was grieving the death of my father. Something which had never been fully explained to me, and I was having nightmares as I was the one who found his body. So you could say I was pretty messed up and I started acting out, I was angry and would have spectacular tantrums, and when Christopher started to copy me my mother and Chris decided to put me in therapy, a therapist came to the house to see me and she had an assistant, some kind of doctorial candidate who was working with her. The therapist spent more and more time with my mother instead of me and I was left alone with the assistant more and more, and again to cut a long story short he molested me, he groomed me, abused and raped me" I stop it is still uncomfortable to talk about this time of my life.

Josephine sits motionless listening to me, and I continue to speak. "It carried on for a while, but in the end I got the courage to speak out, I told my mom, and to be fair to her and give her credit she took me to a doctor, but the doctor was related to my abuser, he was his brother in law and he falsified the results of the tests and lied saying nothing had happened to me and my mother believed him and not me and our relationship even deteriorated further as she thought I was an attention seeking liar. At the earliest opportunity I left home, started out on my own and built my company, it was all I had in the world and I lived for it. I finally felt I had a purpose and a place in the world which I craved, I was a machine and I worked day and night, I would go to work in the middle of the night, because of the nightmares I had and I found it a place of sanctuary if I was working I wasn't reliving the abuse in my dreams. Which is why I amassed such a fortune at such a young age and with that money I discovered it gave me control and power something I had taken away from me at an early age, but now I was calling the shots and it felt good. I have no idea how I didn't burn myself out but I just carried on as I had no family. Ireland was too young to understand or to care if I was there or not and my mother had poisoned Christopher against me, she told him lies about me and made me out to be some kind of monster, and fucked with his mind so much that he hated me for years. When I met Eva I started to open up and I confided in her about what had happened to me as she had also been a victim of rape when she was a child but she had been believed and loved. So she was naturally shocked and appalled at my mother's behaviour and she went on a crusade to uncover the truth. She found and gathered evidence to prove that I had been abused and that I wasn't a liar. She confronted the paediatrician my mother took me to and got him to confess his part in the cover up and then she confronted my mother with the evidence and that was when Chris first found out I had been abused as she had never bothered to tell him. Chris was mortified and disgusted with her so she made overtures of reconciliation and apology but they were false, she only did it to try and keep Chris on side, but he left her anyway, and she soon reverted back to form – she wasn't sorry at all for never believing me. Well things were even more strained between us after that our relationship was practically none existent as she now blamed Eva for her failings and for losing Chris. The biggest bombshell came when Christian discovered who his biological father was, we were close friends by this point and when he discovered evidence that his father was my late uncle Joel Cross – Geoffrey Cross's brother and as he was also dead I offered my DNA for Christian to find out for definite if Joel Cross was his father. But when the results came back it said we were half brothers not cousins, which meant either my mother had slept with Joel or Christian's biological mother had slept with Geoffrey. I confronted my mother and she admitted she had had an affair with Joel, and immediately all the things she had said to me as I was growing up, when she told me I was just like my father and how she called me a bad boy, it all made sense. She had blamed me and resented me right from the start for her affair. Christian and I were determined to make the link between us public knowledge and I went public about the abuse I had suffered and Christian spoke of the physical abuse he suffered before he was adopted, we did it because Christian and I launched the Ella's Lodge project and as well as closure for me we wanted people to understand why this project meant so much to us. However, my mother lost it big time, she was only concerned about how the information would make her look and she said that we should never have found out and she blamed Christian for making her look bad, for daring to want to know where he came from. It all got pretty ugly, I remember it so well. I had called her on Skype most of Christian's family were there, and we watched her melt down on the screen in front of us, Eva yelled at her and so did Ana it was horrible, it was at that point I stopped all contact with her. The only positive things about that whole episode was the way Eva fought for me and the way Grace looked after me, she comforted me and reassured me. She tried to turn Christopher against me but by this point our relationship was improving due to talking out everything in therapy with Christian's shrink, and Christopher finally saw her for what she was and it was around that time that he too disowned her, and Ireland followed suit. That was all about 17/18 years ago, and after dad divorced her she moved away and none of us heard anything else from her until Eva died and she turned up unexpectedly again. She appeared out of the blue at Eva's funeral and then she confronted Dennie and Liv at school and introduced herself but she made the mistake of bad mouthing Eva to them". I glance at Denise and smile as I recall that day and what Raul told me not to mention its aftermath.

"Denise being Denise didn't let it go and managed to get hold of her phone number and called her asking her who she was and what she wanted and why she hated her mother, now bearing in mind Denise was only twelve years old at the time she told her that I had been sexually abused, now you don't do that, do you? I didn't want my fucked up past in my twelve year old daughter's head, and certainly not her warped interpretation of it but she did it so I then had to sit down and tell Denise what had really happened. I laid it all to rest again, and that's where it stayed until now". I stop speaking and look at Josephine who looks completely shocked and disgusted with what she has heard and for a moment I can't help but wonder if that disgust is directed at me, I go to speak when she wraps her arms around me and just holds me tightly, wordlessly letting me know that I have her complete support.

"Oh my god Gideon, that is just awful" she says eventually, she pulls away slightly, "how could anyone be so wicked?" she adds shaking her head.

Denise speaks up at this, "She is just completely self-centred, anything that happens, all she can think about is how that impacts on her and how it makes her look and how it will affect her, and my dad has paid for that all his life. Basically she blamed him for existing, she shifted the blame of what she did and her weaknesses on to him and anyone else who made it obvious that she was the one in the wrong. She opened her legs and slept with her husband's brother and got herself pregnant, but instead of owning that mistake and bad judgement she transferred the blame and resentment of her mistake on to dad, making him feel unloved all his life. Everything is always someone else's fault she can't see she is the root of everything that happens, she blamed Joel and Geoffrey for the affair, she blamed dad for being born, she refused to believe dad about the abuse, but when it was proved to be true she blamed the paediatrician, then she blamed mom for the breakdown of her marriage because Chris left her because he was disgusted with her for not telling him about the abuse, and finally she blamed Uncle Christian for exposing the truth about dad's parentage, but what I don't get is why she has suddenly teamed up with Landon of all people, I mean her husband ruined his father? I don't get it... unless" she stops and I see her mind working things out. "Do you think he has something on her and is making her do this?" she asks.

I shake my head, "I have no idea, and to be honest I don't really want to know her motivation, but now we do know we can use it to our advantage, she professed to want to build bridges with you, and gave me her number to pass on to you… it's a big ask but we can bring down Landon once and for all if you reach out to her. I'm not comfortable with asking you to do this and every paternal instinct I have is screaming at me to not allow it but..." I stop as Denise jumps in.

"I'll do it; I'll do it because I also want to know what she is up to. I trust Paul and Raul will keep me safe, and if I meet her and Landon shows up it will confirm everything we are assuming, and don't worry I will be sensible I won't do anything stupid, I have this little guy to think of" she pats her stomach. "But looking at the bigger picture I need to do this for all of us" she says.

"I will go with you to meet her as well, you are not meeting that woman without any support" Josephine says adamantly.

Both Denise and I stare at her vehemence as she says this and Denise smiles and nods. "Thank you Josephine, I appreciate that" she says. She pulls her phone out and looks at me. "What's her number?" she asks.

I reach into my pocket and pull out the post it note and hand it to my daughter. "Wait a moment" I say and I stand and call Raul back in and shout for Paul as well. They both enter the room looking at me questioningly.

"Denise is going to reach out to my mother, you need to hear this as she is going to meet her, Josephine will be accompanying Denise and you need to make arrangements to keep her, my grandson and Josephine safe when they do meet up her" I say.

They both nod and sit down with us. Denise takes a deep breath and dials the number, putting the phone on speaker so we can all hear the conversation.

"Hello" I cringe when I hear my mother's voice. Josephine grips my hand tightly as I stiffen at the sound of her voice.

"Hello Elizabeth, this is Denise, Denise Cross my dad said you wanted to talk to me" Denise says with a hint of defiance in her voice.

"Denise how lovely to hear from you, I am so pleased you decided to call" she gushes, her voice immediately taking on what she assumes to be a caring soft tone, but just sounds disturbing.

"What do you want Elizabeth?" Denise asks briskly.

"Denise dear why don't you call me grandmother? I am your grandmother after all" she says.

Denise lets out a short bark of a laugh, "Are you totally deranged? I told you years ago that you were nothing to me, and that my grandmother is Grace Trevelyan Grey and she lives in Seattle, she has been my grandmother all my life, you on the other hand have caused nothing but hurt and trouble, now I will ask you once more what the fuck do you want? I suggest you answer or I will hang up" she says.

There is a short silence then my mother speaks again, "I don't appreciate that tone Denise, however I do understand why you are so hostile. I want to build bridges I want to make amends for my past behaviour, you are expecting my first great grandchild and I want to be a part of your and his life" she says, she sounds convincing but neither Denise or I believe a word of it. I watch as Denise rolls her eyes dramatically and I smile.

"Why should I believe you? Your track record isn't exactly stellar in the bridge building department; you have said this before and then shown your true colours and made it clear you had no intention of being sorry and I won't subject my son to you and your maliciousness" she says.

There is another long silence where I assume my mother is trying to work out what she can say to convince Denise of her sincerity. "I understand your reluctance Denise, but please believe me I want to make the effort to know you and your son. Ireland showed me the scan pictures and he looks a very handsome little boy" she says. Denise looks straight at me and I know what is going through her mind now, if she has seen the picture then Landon has as well.

"Alright, I'll meet you but I will be bringing someone with me I won't meet you alone" Denise says and I hear the slight wobble in her voice and I know that comment has freaked her out.

"Of course dear, I understand" she says.

"Ok then, where and when, I am pretty busy at the moment I am getting ready to graduate High School and preparing for the birth of my son so I don't have a lot of free time" Denise says and I smile as she has now recovered and her voice is now firm again.

"Preparing to graduate, but you are only 16 aren't you?" my mother asks.

"I am, yes and I know I don't turn 17 until the summer but due to my ability I was fast tracked and I have managed to keep up with my workload despite falling pregnant, and I am due to graduate this year. Dad is currently arranging for me do to my exams early as they are scheduled when I am due to give birth" she explains proudly.

"Your father must be very proud of you" she says.

"He is, as is all my family" Denise says, I smile at the dig. "So I suggest we meet at a cafe near to the penthouse for a coffee or something, that way I won't disrupt my studies too much by making my way across the city" she continues. I smile again, she is making it clear she is going to do this on her terms and that my mother will have to fit in with her plans.

"Alright, shall we say tomorrow lunchtime?" my mother says, Denise looks at Josephine and she looks up at me and I nod in agreement as I realise Josephine was asking permission to leave work to do this. I raise our clasped hands to my mouth and press a kiss to the back of her hand.

"That's fine, so shall we say 12:30 at Luigi's?" Denise says.

"I'll see you there" my mother says, once again I hear the relief in her voice.

"Just one more thing Elizabeth" Denise says before she hangs up, "try anything, anything at all and you will be sorry" she says.

My mother ignores that comment and says goodbye. Denise hangs up and looks around the room. "So was that ok?" she asks.

Raul beams at her, "You are a clever girl Denise, I can have a team all over that place and any hint of Landon being there we will know about it before he does" he says.

"That was the idea" Denise says, she looks at Josephine, "Luigi's is our favourite cafe, dad has been taking us there ever since we were small and the security guys know it like the back of their hands they know every entrance and exit and every corner of the place" she explains.

Josephine nods. Denise returns her attention to me and looks at me a worried expression on her face.

"Do you think Landon has seen the 3D scan picture of Byron?" she asks in a small voice.

As much as I want to lie and say no, I know that there is a real possibility that he has so I reach for her and try and reassure her.

"There is a possibility but it makes no difference" I say firmly.

I watch as she considers this and nods then she looks at me again and as she does so she squeezes my hand, "Dad are you ok?" she asks me. I look at her surprised by the tone of her voice.

"Why shouldn't I be?" I reply.

She smiles at me, "Dad the last time you relived your past like you have done tonight you had a massive nightmare, and granddad sat with you all night. I may have only been 12 years old but I remember it so are you going to be ok?" she asks and her eyes shoot to Josephine. I realise what she is getting at, she thinks that I may attack Josephine in my sleep.

"I don't know... I'm not sure" I say honestly.

"Do you want me to phone John Flynn and get him on standby just in case, or call granddad?" Denise asks. Before I can answer her Josephine butts in with a question.

"What do these nightmares involve?" she asks quietly.

"I relive my sexual attacks in these dreams but they alter and I become the aggressor, I had to sleep apart from Eva for years because I unwittingly attacked her in my sleep, I don't know what I am doing when it happens" I say briskly as I feel the shame of what I do.

Josephine nods, "Alright, well if it makes you feel any better I will sleep separately from you tonight, I will make up a bed on the sofa" she says.

I stare at her easy acceptance of this, "Are you sure I can't ask you to do that?" I say, "I can sleep on the sofa in my study" I add.

"I'll leave it up to you, whatever you think is best" she says, and at this moment I fall more in love with her.

"Thank you for being so understanding" I say carefully.

Josephine sighs "I understand now Gideon" she says with a smile I look at her questioningly and she explains, "when we were in Seattle I had a talk with Ana and she hinted that your mother had had an effect on your life in some way" she stops looking worried I immediately remember the conversation I eavesdropped on but before I can say anything Josephine has got herself into a state thinking she has got Ana into trouble, "she didn't say anything personal but I was doubting myself and she tried to reassure me by saying you felt the same way and I asked why would you be insecure and... oh please don't be angry with her she was trying to..." I put my finger on her lips to quieten her.

"It's alright I know, I heard what Ana said that day as I was listening outside the door, I'm not angry" I say. I see the relief flow through her and I pull her into my arms, "I'm just so glad you understand" I whisper quietly.

Josephine pulls away from me and looks up at me I am floored by the love I see in her eyes, she touches my cheek and then leaning forward she presses a small kiss to my lips before pulling away again and speaking.

"You are a good man Gideon, what has happened to you is not your fault and what you have been through and how you have suffered as a result is not your fault you are just a victim of other peoples wickedness and you are not to blame for that, and despite everything you always need to remember that one fact, the fact that you are a good man" she says. She rests her forehead against mine and I hear her words in my mind and for a moment I almost believe it.

In the end Denise does call Chris and I think despite my protestations to the contrary she also called John Flynn to give him a heads up. In the end I decided to sleep on the sofa in my study; Josephine came in to me as I was making up the makeshift bed.

"Are you sure about this?" she asks me.

"I want you to be safe" I say adamantly, "Denise was right to push me on this, the last time I relived my past to this extent I did have a nightmare" I add.

"If you are sure. I'm sorry, if you hadn't told me everything then you wouldn't be in this position" she says. I realise she is feeling guilty for me telling her and I quickly move to squash those thoughts.

"Josephine it was my choice to tell you, and I'm glad I did, you already knew parts of it and you needed to know what my mother is like and the fact that you accept me anyway despite everything is more than a comfort to me" I say.

The door opens and I see Denise waddle in carrying a couple of spare pillows and a sheet and blanket, she hands them to me with a smile.

"Thank you" I say as I take them from her.

"No problem, granddad said to say he is on his way" she tells me. I open my mouth to speak, but she holds up her hand, "and he said to tell you it's no trouble and you are not to start damn well worrying about him being here all night" she adds with a grin. "I've also given John Flynn a heads up, he said you have his personal number and if anything happens you are to call him no matter what the time is, he said he is at his office until 7pm Seattle time, tonight but after that you can contact him on his personal number" she continues.

I glance at my watch it is nearly 8:30 here so John will be long gone from his office by the time I turn in. Denise tells me she is going to finish some school work off and set up a bed for Chris on the sofa in the sitting room and with that she disappears leaving me alone with Josephine.

"Come on let's get out of here, let's go and sit down in the sitting room for a while, and we can give Denise a hand setting up Chris's bed" I say, I grab her hand and lead her out of the study.

**(JOSEPHINE)**

I am awakened by a blood curdling scream, I open my eyes and glance at the clock and see it is nearly 2:30 I pull back the covers and head towards the noise. I know it is Gideon and I know he is dreaming but nothing prepares me for the sight I see as I walk through the open study door.

"Get off me... it hurts... you are hurting me, get the fuck off me!" he moans.

He is on his knees, his back is arching dramatically and he is completely rigid. He is totally naked, his eyes are wide open but unfocussed and Chris is standing at a distance calling his name, while he viciously pulls on his penis. The anguish on his face is unbearable, I quickly close the door behind me and walk towards him but Chris grabs my arm and pulls me back.

"No, don't touch him, he will hurt you" he warns.

"But we have to do something" I protest.

"We need to wake him, but I don't want to wake everyone else up in the process" he says.

I shake my head and leave the room. I go to check on the girls to make sure he hasn't disturbed them. Zoe is fast asleep and in the furthest bedroom away, I close the door tightly and I check on Olivia she too is sleeping peacefully. Then I push open Denise's door which isn't totally shut and I am met with a pair of blue eyes, so like Gideon's and they are filled with worry.

"He's having a nightmare isn't he?" she asks.

I nod my head and sit down on the bed and hug her. "Your grandfather is trying to wake him" I explain.

"He needs to put the light on and shout, as long as the door is shut no-one else will hear, as his study is soundproofed" she explains.

I immediately go and relay this information to Chris who shuts the study door and switching the light on tries again to wake Gideon.

"GIDEON WAKE UP" he yells.

I watch as Gideon pauses, and I step forward and call his name.

"GIDEON, PLEASE WAKE UP, YOU ARE HAVING A NIGHTMARE" I call desperately.

I watch as Chris flashes the light on and off and it seems to work as Gideon comes into consciousness.

"Josephine?" he rasps, his voice is hoarse from his screaming and yelling, I watch as his eyes become focussed and he blinks rapidly at the bright light. His body relaxes and he looks down at himself, he quickly removes his hand from his penis and covers himself with a sheet. The shame on his face is breaking my heart and I quickly walk towards him and pull him into a hug.

"It's alright, it was just a dream. You are alright, you are safe" I say and I rub his cold sweat soaked back to calm him.

"I'm so sorry, I never wanted you to see me like this" he mutters in my ear as he reluctantly puts his arms around me.

"It's ok, come on let's go for a shower and wash it away" I say.

I turn and see Chris smiling. Gideon looks up at his step father the shame still evident in his eyes.

"Are you alright Gideon?" Chris asks gently.

Gideon nods "Thank you for being here" he whispers.

"Do you want me to stay or go?" Chris asks.

"Stay, don't get leaving now it's the middle of the damn night" he says adamantly.

Chris nods and heads out to the sitting room where the makeshift bed has been made up for him. I grip Gideon's hand and wrapping the sheet around him I lead him out of his study and into the shower in the bedroom, he silently follows me like a small child. This has upset him more than he would care to admit and I need for him to realise this doesn't change a thing between us. I switch on the shower and carefully remove my nightshirt, Gideon's eyes rake over me as I step into the shower and hold my hand out to him.

"Come on lets wash it away" I say.

He shrugs off the sheet and takes my hand and then hesitantly steps in beside me, I reach for the shower gel and gently rub it over his body, I feel him relax and lean into my touch. I carry on washing him methodically and thoroughly getting rid of the blanket of cold sweat covering him until he is warm to the touch again. As my hand moves down over his stomach and lower he inhales sharply and flinches, his head is still too wrapped up in his nightmare, and so I Immediately pause.

"I won't do anything you don't want me to do" I whisper to him.

"No… please, touch me. Touch me and make me forget it" he asks, and taking my hand he places it directly on his now flaccid penis. I move my hand slowly up and down his penis and it quickly becomes rigid again in my hand, I hear him moan and the sound fills me with relief. I lean towards him drawing him closer to me.

"I recall a promise you made me in your office earlier this evening" I whisper in his ear.

I'm determined to banish all the awful memories from his mind, and I feel him smile against my cheek. I feel his arms go around me and start moving restlessly over my body. He touches my breasts and leans down and takes one in his mouth and starts sucking on it I moan with pleasure at the sensation, and he responds by gently kneading the other with his hand. I am still stroking him and he is getting more and more aroused. I never thought I would have this again after Michael died, I never believed I could love again at all let alone with the intensity not to mention the blatant sexuality that I love Gideon. He is so easy to love and I have fallen big time for him. His sweet tender nature is something which not many people see; his public persona of a ruthless, cold and powerful man is at odds with the man I know personally. I feel him regaining his equilibrium and taking charge and he moves us out of the shower and towards the bedroom. He wraps a huge towel around me and almost reverently he dries me then grabbing a towel for himself he quickly begins to dry himself. I take the towel out of his hand and treat his body to the same reverence he showed mine.

"There all dry now" I say as I run my hand down his now dry chest.

He grabs me and leads me over to the bed. I lie down and he settles himself between my legs. He is so aroused now his erection is bobbing under its own weight and it never ceases to amaze me just how well endowed he is. I touch him and he shivers closing his eyes at my touch and he thrusts his hips pushing his penis into my hand. I have a sudden thought, I have never given him oral sex, we have sex regularly now since that first time in Seattle and he has done things to me with his mouth but I have always shied away from it as it's not something I have ever done but tonight I feel brave and I want to try it.

"Gideon may I try something I haven't done before?" I ask slightly nervously.

He looks down at me and smiles, "Of course you can, what do you want to do?" he asks.

"I'd... I'd like to kiss you... here" I touch him and I see his eyes widen and then a moment later he has flipped us and I am lying on top of him. I start to panic slightly and I gently stroke him again with my hand.

He looks closely at me and a slight frown crosses his face and then concern, "Hey, have you done this before?" he asks me gently.

I shake my head, "No Michael and I weren't very adventurous at all and he didn't really like that sort of thing" I say.

He runs his hands reassuringly up and down my arms. "Well take your time and if you don't like it just tell me and I will just make love to you as I originally planned to" he says.

I nod and move lower, I look up at him seeking reassurance and immediately getting it I bow my head and press my lips to the head of his penis and he moans. This gives me more courage and I slowly lick it, he makes more encouraging noises so I take all my courage and I take him in my mouth. It is a strange sensation, but I persist and I find I like the uniquely masculine taste of him. He is so big I can barely take half of him in my mouth without him touching the back of my throat and when that happens I gag reflexively, so I wrap my hands around him and use my hands as well as my mouth.

I have no idea if I am doing this right or not but Gideon is moaning and his hips are starting to twitch as he tries to prevent himself from thrusting into my mouth. I don't know how long I carry on sucking and licking him when suddenly I feel him jerk and thicken in my mouth, I get a salty taste on my tongue and I panic a little wondering if he is going to come in my mouth.

Almost as if he can read my mind Gideon grasps my shoulders and speaks, "Josephine, I'm going to come, if you don't want me to come in your mouth move now" he gasps.

My courage fails me and I pull away but I still pump him with my hand and I watch as he comes violently, covering my hands with his creamy semen. I am shocked at how much he comes and by the fact when he is finished he is still semi hard, I expected him to go soft.

I move away and go to wash my hands, when I return Gideon grabs me and lies me down on the bed and then his mouth is on me, his tongue flicks over me and drives me insane. He pushes two fingers inside me and gently strokes me until I am practically begging for him. Then gently and so slowly he pushes himself inside me, and as my body accepts him he sighs, I am shocked that he is now ready to go again so quickly. He pulls my hips up and wraps my legs around his hips and then he starts to move, I am a bundle of sensation and I moan as he repeatedly thrusts into me, then suddenly he moves us, He is up on his knees and I am in his lap. I gasp as he goes even deeper and I grab his hair as he continues to thrust into me, then he moves again and I am on top of him, and he is lying below me.

"Ride me" he demands and as he thrusts upwards. I ride him and the sensation is unbelievable he is so deep and I moan loudly. I reach for him and grip his hands, he lets go of me and reaches for my breast and touches my sensitive nipples then he then grabs my hips and controls my increasingly erratic movements. I am so close to orgasm and I know he can sense it, he moves again never once breaking our connection and we are back where we started with me beneath him and him driving into me. I feel my inside clench and I grip him tightly calling out his name as I climax and he continues to move a few more times but then he stiffens and I feel him come again, spilling his hot semen inside me. I feel him and I grab his buttocks pulling him closer to me, wanting every last bit of him.

"Oh god baby" he moans in my ear as he finally stops and collapses on me.

I hold him close, just holding him and feeling his racing heart pumping against me. So close and intimate, it is this moment after we have made love after the mind blowing passion that I feel the closest to him when we are both coming down from our orgasm and we just pause, we are still connected and we just hold each other.

The next morning I find him back in his study talking to someone. I hesitate as I see him peering at his laptop screen. He glances up and as he notes my presence he smiles, beckoning me closer. I walk over and see a man sitting in a home environment on the screen.

"Hello" he says to me with a smile, I note his English accent and return the greeting.

"Baby, this is John Flynn" Gideon explains, "we were just talking through my nightmare" he adds.

"I'll leave you to do that then" I say as I try to remove myself from his grip.

"No don't go, please" Gideon asks as he pulls me back towards him. I relent and he pulls me into his lap.

"Hello Josephine, did you witness Gideon's parasomnia last night?" John asks.

I nod, "yes, it upset me seeing him so distressed and not being able to do anything to help him" I say. I feel Gideon's arms tighten around me, and I reach for his hand which is clamped around my waist and I pat it.

"But you did help me" Gideon says, I turn and look at him, "You woke me, it was your voice calling my name which woke me" he says.

I shake my head, "Chris was shouting you as well it was a joint effort" I say.

"Gideon, do you remember the exercises I gave you to do after you woke up from one of your nightmares?" John asks.

Gideon nods, "I do, but I didn't do it last night, it's been so long and I just didn't think..." he stops.

John nods, "I understand, well do you want to talk it out now?" he asks.

Gideon shakes his head, "No, but if I have another one I will, but I am hoping it was a one off. Things happened last night which resulted in me reliving my past again and I am pretty certain it was that which triggered the nightmare. I am hoping that it was an anomaly and not a return to the issues I previously had".

"What happened last night Gideon? Denise hinted that something had occurred which she thought would result in a nightmare when she called?" John asks.

I feel Gideon stiffen, "We have been having issues with Landon, he always seemed to know where Denise was and what she was doing and he managed to obtain her new cell phone number and has used it to taunt her, we have been trying to find out who has been feeding him information and last night we believe we have discovered who it is" he says.

"Who?" John asks.

"My mother" Gideon spits.

"Elizabeth?" John asks clearly shocked.

Gideon nods, "That's right, mommy dearest has sunk to a new low" he says bitterly.

"Are you sure about that?" John asks.

Gideon nods again "All the evidence is pretty compelling, my team have discovered financial links to Landon and numerous calls to his number, they are still searching but the calls all correspond with the times Landon then harassed Denise, it was as if she was telling him and then he was acting on that information" he says.

"What are you planning to do about this?" John asks.

"We are hoping to conclusively prove she is involved. She has approached Denise under the guise of reconciliation and we have arranged a meeting between her and Denise – with appropriate security of course to find out for sure" he says.

"Denise is on board with this?" John asks warily.

"She was adamant that she wanted to do it" I say "and she won't be meeting Elizabeth alone, as well as security I will be accompanying her" I insist, butting into the conversation.

"That's good, from what I know of Elizabeth from what Gideon, Christopher, Chris and Christian have all told me she is quite a manipulative woman" John says.

"I am doubting the wisdom of letting her go, if I am honest every instinct I have is screaming at me not to allow this but we all know it's the only way to find out the truth, but as her father I am worried" Gideon admits.

John smiles at Gideon kindly. "Of course you are, but I'm sure you have every safeguard in place... why don't you accompany Denise as well?" John suggests.

Gideon shakes his head, "No, my mother won't open up if I'm there but I will be on hand though, I can't just get on with my day knowing my daughter is doing what she is doing, I will be watching from a distance, and I will intervene if necessary".

"Well it sounds like you have it all planned out" John says, "Can we return to last night now?" he asks.

Gideon nods, "yes, well after it all came out about what my mother had done and what Raul had discovered, Denise got angry and started ranting about my mother, and she let slip that she had allowed me to be sexually abused, Josephine was sitting there and heard and so I explained the full extent of the sorry excuse of a relationship I have with her, I told her everything" he looks at me and smiles at me.

"Everything?" John asks.

Gideon nods again, "Yes, I went right back to my father's suicide and through everything in detail that happened in my childhood right up to where our relationship finally ended after I discovered that Joel Cross was my father and her reaction to that" he says.

"How do you feel now that you know Josephine knows?" John asks and he glances briefly at me.

There is a pause, "relief, I think that's the most accurate description of the way I feel, the basics are public knowledge and I know she is aware of them as she Googled me when we first met but the details have always only been know by a handful of people and I want a relationship with Josephine and I know for that to work I need to be honest with her. She has told me personal things about her past and now she knows and she still wants me regardless, it makes me feel... safe and loved" he says.

I turn and look at him "You are, you are always safe and loved with me" I insist.

"Alright, I think we will leave it there, thank you for calling me Gideon, although I would have preferred you had done it at the time with the time difference it wasn't too late here in Seattle for the call. If you have another nightmare you must follow the exercises I gave you all those years ago it helped then and it will help again, but let's just hope it was a one off" he says.

"Thank you John" Gideon says.

I ease myself off of his lap as he leans forward to end the Skype session. They both say their goodbyes and then the screen goes black.


	33. Chapter 33

CHAPTER 33

**(DENISE)**

I walk into Luigi's café and Don the manager who has run the place since I was a small child greets me like an old friend.

"Dennie my love, how are you? Look at you! How much longer do you have left?" he says as he hugs me and then holds me at arm's length appraising me.

"Hi Don, I'm good. I have eight weeks to go and it can't come quick enough, I'm uncomfortable and huge" I say with a grin.

Don laughs and shakes his head at me, "Aah you say that now, but when you are having sleepless nights you will remember this point with fondness" he says, then he glances at Josephine and I remember my manners.

"Don this is my father's girlfriend Josephine. Josephine this is Don he's run this place for years" I say.

"I'm pleased to meet you" Josephine says politely and Don nods.

"Likewise" he says and then he turns back to me "and I'm happy that your dad is finally putting himself back out there at last" he says with a kind smile.

We take a table towards the back of the cafe and I sit down. I glance longingly at the booths, I would have preferred one of those for the privacy they afforded but there is no way I am squeezing myself in there. Josephine sits down beside me and picks up a menu. Don appears with two glasses of lemonade and places them in front of us with a wink. I grin at him and thank him. Josephine looks at the lemonade and goes to pull some money out of her purse, and Don places his hand over hers.

"On the house" he says kindly.

I look at Josephine, "Don always gives us a free glass of lemonade, it's kind of an in joke from when I was a kid" I explain.

Josephine nods and thanks Don before turning her attention back to me, "Did Gideon bring you here a lot?" she asks.

I nod, "When Liv and I were younger he would bring us here from time to time, and mom loved it here as well. Don had a huge crush on her, which drove dad insane to start with but he soon got over it, but after Zoe was born we didn't come so much and then after mom died dad stopped bringing us here altogether, but by that point Liv and I just came here by ourselves and we brought Zoe a few times and I came here with Josh a couple of times too".

I stop and rub my bump and Josephine squeezes my hand. I look up and freeze as I see a familiar figure walking towards us.

"Is that your grandmother?" Josephine whispers as she looks towards the woman who is making her way towards us.

"That is Elizabeth Vidal" I say.

I won't acknowledge that woman as any relation of mine. I glance over to an adjacent table where Raul has installed members of his team and I see that on the other side of us another table has been commandeered by team Cross.

"Denise darling" Elizabeth says as she walks up. I don't stand up or say anything to her and she pauses before sitting down awkwardly. It is obvious she was expecting me to stand and greet her, and then she glances at Josephine waiting for an introduction.

"Elizabeth this is Josephine my father's girlfriend" I say then I turn to Josephine and my tone changes considerably "Josephine, that is the she bitch who gave birth to my father and who made his childhood a living hell" I say bitterly as I wave my hand dismissively towards Elizabeth Vidal.

Josephine looks a little surprised by my venom but doesn't say anything, Elizabeth on the other hand looks completely shocked and offended. I hear a suppressed snigger coming from the security guys who have also heard what I said.

"Denise that was rude" Elizabeth snaps.

"And?" I retort, totally unconcerned with my behaviour towards her.

"You should show me some respect, I am your grandmother" she says.

I immediately snort, "Seriously? You are going to pull that one. You have the fucking bare faced nerve to pull that one, after everything that you have done over the years? You listen to me, respect needs to be earned and you have done nothing in your sorry life to even make me consider respecting you, and don't call yourself my grandmother because you are nothing to me" I snap.

There is another awkward silence until I can't stand it any longer, "Look, what the fuck do you want? I have better things to do with my time than sit here in silence staring at you" I say.

I watch as Elizabeth struggles to keep calm and composed, she is clearly incensed by what I have said. I however, am thoroughly enjoying every moment of her obvious discomfort.

"I wanted to make amends. I wanted to get to know you and have a relationship with you and be there when your son is born, but it appears that your father has poisoned you against me and you are too negative towards me for that to happen and give me a chance" she says with a sniff.

I raise my eyebrows, not quite believing what she has just said. "Un-fucking-believable! It's never _your_ fault is it? Every damn thing that happens in your life is always down to someone else. You shift the blame for everything on to the nearest available candidate, and never even think about shouldering the blame yourself do you?" I splutter with contempt.

Elizabeth stares at me a little taken aback by my outburst but I continue with my rant letting rip and telling her what I think of her for all the things I have been told about her over the years.

"Right from the start and your affair with Joel Cross which resulted in my dad being born, first of all you couldn't keep your damn legs closed, say no and stay faithful to your husband; but that wasn't your fault. Oh no that one was down to Joel Cross for seducing you, oh and don't forget a bit of the blame you also put on to Geoffrey Cross too for being a shit husband. Then you gave birth to my dad and you blamed him all his childhood for being conceived and born, and let me tell you the way you treated my dad when he was an innocent child was wrong in the worst possible way. He didn't ask to be born, he has told me the things you used to say to him and the way you made him feel unwanted and unloved. I am about to be a mother and my son wasn't planned but I will never ever make him feel anything other than wanted and loved. Anyway, moving on and back to the point - moving forward a few years, when my dad came to you begging for your help, but it wasn't your fault you didn't believe my dad after he was abused, that one was down the paediatrician. When any decent mother worth anything at all would have believed their child regardless of what any health professional said and perhaps even sought a second opinion. Then more recently it was mom's fault that Chris left you. Did it ever occur to you that it was actually your fucking fault for never bothering to tell Chris about what had happened to my dad when he was a kid? Newsflash for you, the real reason Chris left you was because he was so damn disgusted that you didn't believe your own son, and didn't even bother to inform him and he had to find out years down the line from my mother who had gotten the proof and laid it out for you. Oh and then when dad found out who his real father was, that wasn't your fault either was it? That one was down to Uncle Christian daring to want to know where he came from, but again it was your fault because you had never told him Joel Cross was really his dad. If you had he wouldn't have had to find out from a fucking DNA test! It never occurred to you to tell dad the truth about his parentage. What is worst though is it never occurred to you what it would do to him to find that out. That him finding out that the man he always assumed was his father, the man he found dead with his brains blown out at a young age; the man he grieved for wasn't even his real dad would destroy him. However, it didn't destroy him because people who loved him, people who _really_ loved him people including mom, Uncle Christian, Chris and _my grandmother_ Grace, helped him come to terms with it… but did you help him? Of course you didn't! All you were just worried about was how you would look if the truth came out, so having said all that it's about time you took responsibility and realised every damn thing that has happened has been down to you, and now I've got that off my chest I have one thing to ask you and think carefully before you answer because we know what you are doing and I want to know why" I pause and look her in the eye, "Why are you helping Ryan fucking Landon harass me and stalk me?" I ask.

I see the panic on her face and she clutches at her throat but she doesn't answer. I raise my eyebrows in question and wait for the answer.

"He approached me, and asked me to help him. He is grieving for his son and you have shut him out of your life. You are not keeping him informed of your pregnancy and I knew how he felt as I have been ostracised by my family and felt pushed out so I agreed to help him" she says.

I shake my head, "I don't believe you, you don't do things out of the goodness of your heart, because you don't fucking have one, now tell me why are you helping him?" I say.

I watch as her eyes dart around the room, but she still doesn't answer, and I heave myself to my feet. "Come on lets go this was a waste of time, she is so self absorbed and pathetic we wouldn't get the truth even if we beat it out of her" I say.

At this Elizabeth stands up, her eyes flashing and fists clenched "You think you can talk to me like this, so self righteous aren't you? You don't have any idea you little bitch. I have been alone for years after your mother pulled her little stunt, alienating me from my family so when I found out about Ryan Landon and how he was trying to get access to you and your child and you were freezing him out, I made a point of approaching him and offering my assistance. I know full well his intentions aren't honourable but it's about time your father realised that there are other people in this world apart from him, and the world doesn't revolve around him and his precious family. I will help Ryan Landon all I can to take your son away from you, and it will teach that ungrateful son of mine a lesson, I will have my revenge for how he has treated me all these years, and you too".

"How did you get the information that you passed on?" I ask, a little taken a back at that outburst.

She laughs, but it's not a good laugh and it makes me go cold, "Ireland of course, she was so trusting, it was so easy – too easy, as soon as Ireland contacted me regarding her wedding I knew I could get information on you and she gave it willingly".

I stare at her and realise she, like Landon is totally unhinged. Josephine grasps my hand and steps in at this point speaking for the first time. "Come on Denise, there is no reasoning with her she doesn't have the faintest idea of what Ryan Landon is capable of and I hope that she doesn't find out" she says.

Elizabeth stares at Josephine and panic crosses her face. "What was that supposed to mean?" she asks.

Josephine looks her straight in the eye, "Ryan Landon isn't a nice man, I worked for Ryan Landon and he paid someone to mug me to steal my bag, because he had got it into his head I had some files which I was working on - which I hadn't and in the process my husband was stabbed and killed and then Ryan Landon hired the killers brother to pose as a therapist to totally screw with my head and which resulted in me having a breakdown. There are many other things I could go on to say, but I will say this, you are totally wrong about your son. You have no idea what a good man Gideon is, he is one of the best people I have ever met and I am not just saying that because I love him, because all you have to do is ask anyone who works for him and who knows him. Ask any member of his family and they will tell you what a good person he is. I find it very sad that you don't know your son at all and that you are consumed with so much bitterness, groundless and unsubstantiated bitterness caused by your own actions; and now you are trying to harm your granddaughter who has done nothing to you and her innocent unborn child. I don't know you and I was determined to meet you with an open mind. Denise said it is a flaw of mine that I try and see the good in everyone I meet, but after meeting you I see no redeeming features and quite frankly the way you are behaving... I pity you" she holds her hand out to me, "Come on Denise lets go home" she says.

I am sitting open mouthed at that outburst, I never knew Josephine had it in her but as I hear her I know for sure how much my dad means to her and as I pull myself together a massive grin slowly fills my face. Go Josephine! My attention is brought back to Elizabeth as she points a bony finger at me.

I watch as anger distorts her face and she spits venomous words at us, "she isn't innocent – she hasn't done anything to me?! Are you serious, are you insane? She would sooner call that woman in Seattle grandmother a woman who has no blood tie to her at all, and yet she refuses to acknowledge me, ME. Do you know how much that hurts? So don't say she has done nothing to me, this was also my chance at revenge on her" she stops speaking and is panting with the effort at restraining her anger.

I place my hand in Josephine's and heave myself to my feet and as I pick up my bag, I pause. "You see those guys over there on that table and those over there on that one?" I point to the two tables. Elizabeth glances at both tables in turn and nods.

"Those guys are members of my father's security team and they have been recording everything that has been said, and now dad is going to have to go to Ireland and tell her what a fucking childish and petty, manipulative piece of shit bitch her mother is so I hope you haven't bought your wedding outfit yet, because my guess is your invite is about to be rescinded! Oh and I am officially speechless that you are doing this because I won't call you grandmother – are you really that small-minded? You wonder why I don't consider you my grandmother? I tell you what, I'll send you a copy of what you just said and then maybe when you hear yourself you will realise why our family has disowned you".

With that I walk out of the cafe with Josephine and the security guys all stand and leave with us, and Elizabeth sits staring with her mouth open.

I walk outside and I see my father striding purposefully up the street towards us and he engulfs me in a huge hug.

"Are you alright?" he asks anxiously.

I nod, but the tears I have been holding back are now falling thick and fast. I glance at Josephine who looks shocked to the core by what she has witnessed.

"Josephine was magnificent" I say between sobs.

My dad smiles and manoeuvring me he wraps an arm around Josephine and pulls her close pressing a kiss to her head.

"I know I heard" he says. He returns his attention to me, "I am so proud of you both" he says.

We get back to the apartment and Raul comes up to me and smiles sympathetically at me. "Well now we know for sure, and Landon has now lost his source of information and my guess is he will soon drop her if she isn't providing him with anything useful" he says as he tries to make me feel better about everything that has happened.

"What about the money she is giving him?" I ask.

Raul grins, "She won't be able to keep that up for much longer, she isn't exactly that well off now, she has tried to maintain the same lifestyle she lived when she was married to Chris for years, and on a finite pot of money which just doesn't work. She is going to run out of money in the near future unless of course she has investments which we are unaware of, but I don't believe that she has" he says.

I look at my dad who is very quiet and is staring at his phone.

"Dad?" I ask.

He looks at me and smiles weakly, "I'm just working out what I am going to say to Ireland, I am going to see her in person and tell her it's only fair, but I want to tell her before she can get there first" He presses his thumb to the screen and raises his phone to his ear, and then walks briskly from the room.

I watch him go, I feel for him having to go through his life with that woman as his mother.

**(GIDEON)**

"Gideon! Hi, come on in" Gareth greets me warmly and shakes my hand before allowing me to enter their apartment.

I step inside and Raul follows me he has the recording along with a transcribed paper just in case my sister is not totally clear that her mother is a complete bitch.

I really don't want to do this, Ireland is so happy she is planning her wedding and it of course she wanted her mother there, what girl wouldn't want her own mother at her wedding and I am about to shatter all that.

I wish I had taken Josephine up on coming with me but I had said no, I am worried about Denise as she must be shaken by the encounter this afternoon no matter what brave face she tries to show. I didn't want her alone to brood, while I was out and I had asked Josephine to be there for her, insisting I would be fine alone. I am sadly all too familiar with mother's antics none of what happened today is unfamiliar, when she was in full rant to Denise I was forcibly reminded of her yelling at me as a small child, her telling me I was a bad boy and so like my father, and then again when she had told me I was a nasty little liar and that accusing an innocent man of touching me was evil.

I had called Christian earlier for a little moral support as he too had borne the brunt of one of my mother's mindless tirades, via Skype the day I had called her to confront her and ask her about my parentage. I had told him what she had said to Denise and played the recording down the phone to him. He had been left speechless which in itself was a feat, as my brother is barely ever completely lost for words. He had called Ana to the phone and asked me to play the recording to her, after she had heard it she had immediately gone and called Denise directly to talk to her. We had chatted for a while and he had offered to fly out to New York to support me which I had appreciated but declined, but he had assured me that he would help me with any retribution I plan with regard to that woman. Ana had been sympathetic too, but she also had empathy with my situation, her mother hadn't been brilliant, hell that's the understatement of the year, Carla had given her hell for years until she had been cut off by Ana completely, and her response had been to commit suicide by taking an overdose of drugs and leaving a suicide note blaming Ana for her death and saying she was emulating Christian's biological mothers demise as a gift to Ana so she would have something in common with Christian.

I stop thinking about this as I lay eyes on my baby sister who looks delighted to see me but her wide smile fades as she takes in my demeanour.

"Gideon, what's wrong?" she asks as she walks towards me and hugs me tightly.

I hold her in my arms and close my eyes. I wish I was anywhere else but here at the moment.

"Ireland, we need to talk" I mutter as I push her away from me slightly.

She nods and gestures to the sofa and we both sit down I take her hand in mine and Gareth takes a seat beside Ireland on the nearby chair.

"Gideon what is it? What's upset you?" she asks me and her concern for me is making this so much harder.

I shake my head "Denise met with Elizabeth today it was disturbing to say the very least" I say.

"Oh?" she says I can see the confusion on her face she is wondering what this has to do with her.

"As you know we have been having issues with Ryan Landon stalking Denise and we have been struggling to discover who was giving him the information on where to find her and how to contact her, well we found evidence to suggest that it was Elizabeth and today she confirmed that when Denise met with her" I say.

"Mom? But how did she... oh my god, it was me wasn't it? I told her about Denise's hospital appointment when Landon turned up... and she asked to borrow my phone she said hers was dead she must have found Denise's number and passed it on to Landon" she looks shattered and I feel like I am rubbing salt into the wounds when Raul hands me the device and I play the conversation between Elizabeth and Denise.

"This is what she said" I say I press the play button and Denise and my mother's voice comes out loud and clear. At the beginning, Ireland smiles at the way Denise spoke to my mother, and stood up to her but that smile fades as the conversation proceeds and when she hears herself being spoken of it disappears altogether and tears spring into her eyes.

_"__Ireland of course, she was so trusting, it was so easy – too easy, as soon as Ireland contacted me regarding her wedding I knew I could get information on you and she gave it willingly"._

Ireland shakes her head as she hears her mother's mocking words, Gareth reaches for her and grips her hand, trying to offer some reassurance. I sit motionless as I have no idea what to do.

"I'm sorry Ireland" I whisper.

She sniffs and wipes her eyes roughly, then shaking her head violently she throws herself at me. "Don't you dare apologise for her, none of this is your fault Gideon. She is a sick and twisted woman, I'm just sorry I was too naive to realise she had a hidden agenda. I thought she just wanted to make amends and help me celebrate my wedding, but she just wanted to use me. I should have known better, as a leopard doesn't change its spots!"

She pulls away from me and turns to Gareth, "She is uninvited from our wedding" she says firmly and Gareth just nods at her. He hasn't said a word and just looks totally disgusted by what he has heard.

I look at my watch and go to stand up, "Look I need to get back, I'm worried about how this whole meeting has affected Denise, she is trying to put on a brave face but it can't have done anything for her state of mind" I say.

Ireland nods in agreement. "Of course you do, please tell her how sorry I am, I will call her myself and apologise for what I did, I had no idea but I still feel responsible" she says.

"Don't feel responsible, there is no need as none of us blame you Ireland" I say.

I hug her tightly once more before I make my exit. Gareth walks with me to the door in silence, as I go I turn to him. "Please take care of my sister" I say.

"I will" he replies, I shake his hand again and say goodbye.

Raul and I walk in silence to the car. "Well that has to rank as one of the most uncomfortable things I've ever witnessed" he says to me as we climb in.

"Tell me about it!" I reply.

I return home and search for Josephine and Denise. I find them both in Denise's bedroom talking. Josephine is sitting close to Denise with her arm around her and she is comforting her. I am worried about Denise this can't have been good for her in any sense.

They both look up as I walk in I smile at them reassuringly "Hi" I murmur.

"How's Aunty Ireland? Did you tell her?" Denise immediately asks and it kills me to see the worried expression on her face.

I shrug, "I did, it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, she's understandably hurt and she feels guilty for unwittingly passing on information even though she had no idea what Elizabeth was doing with it, I tried to tell her it wasn't her fault and I did what I could to reassure her but she was understandably upset, she'll be ok though, Gareth is taking care of her" I say.

I barely get the words out of my mouth when I hear Denise's phone ringing. She glances at it and then looks at me once again. "It's Aunty Ireland calling me now" she says. She picks up the phone and puts it to her ear.

"Hello" she says, I watch and listen to the one sided conversation, "No, Aunty Ireland please don't cry... it's not your fault... we don't blame you though... of course you were... no... Raul is watching her and we don't think Landon will bother with her for much longer... no... me? I'm fine... yes honestly... yeah dad is here now, he just got back... alright... take care... love you too... yeah... bye" she hangs up and puts her phone down with sigh.

"She's gutted" she says sadly.

I nod, "I know" I reply.

"This is all my fault" Denise says suddenly and I know that tone, she is slipping into the achingly familiar pattern of self recrimination which if we are not careful will escalate to self loathing and possibly worse.

I crouch in front of her, "Listen to me, stop this right now, the only people to blame for any of this situation is Landon and my mother" I say firmly. I make a mental note of calling Dr Travis and checking that Denise is continuing with her therapy with him. I don't want to push her at the moment.

I notice Josephine is being so good with her, she is such a loving person she would make a wonderful mother, as I watch her my mind starts to wander, I remember she said she was trying for a baby with her late husband when he died, she is in her mid thirties still young enough to have a baby, I would love to have a baby with her. The idea shoots from nowhere into my head and takes root, I wonder...? What the hell! Where did that come from? This isn't the time or place for those sorts of thoughts, I hastily and forcefully push them from my mind, it's far too soon, but then I remember Eva and I were married within months of meeting and she was pregnant when we married.

I push these tantalising thoughts to one side, Denise is due to give birth shortly and I would have to discuss these ideas with my girls before we even considered doing anything. I dismiss my wayward thoughts and return to the situation in hand.

While I have been lost in my own thoughts Josephine and Denise have finished their conversation and Josephine is looking at me expectantly, I realise by her expression she has said something and I have missed it, I pull myself together and give her my full attention.

"Sorry baby did you say something?" I say.

She smiles at me, "You were in a world of your own then weren't you? I said come on lets go, Denise wants to call Dr Travis" she says.

I nod and bending down I kiss my daughter on the head and grasping Josephine's hand we walk out of Denise's room.

As soon as we are alone Josephine turns to me, "She is in a bad way, she is trying to hold it together and put on a brave face but her mind is twisting everything that woman said and if we are not careful she is going go off the rails again" she says.

I nod, this is what I had feared about Denise confronting my mother, and I wish wholeheartedly that I had listened to my gut instincts and refused to allow the meeting.

The next day I am reluctant to go back to work but Denise assures me and Josephine that she is absolutely fine and that we need to go. Eventually I go and after much persuasion Josephine leaves with me. Only doing so after she makes Denise promise to call her if anything happens or if she needs her at any point, I reiterate that and tell her I am only a call away if she needs me. She thanks us and tells us she will be fine. She is planning on some final prep for her exams which she is taking early; at the end of the week which I suddenly realise is the day after tomorrow. I had called in a number of favours to secure this for her and she is determined to not squander this opportunity. It will be the first time she has gone into school for a while and I know she is a little apprehensive about it. I worry about all the stress and pressure on her at this late stage in her pregnancy and I am getting incredibly jittery as I remember how Eva went into labour weeks earlier than expected.

**oooOOOooo**

_Two Days Later..._

"Dad, I'll be fine honestly" Denise says, she is radiating a calm serenity; I however am on edge and worried.

We are sitting at the school gate in the car and she is persuading me not to escort her in, she tells me that Paul with be with her and she will be fine. I look at her carefully, I know that she is still struggling with the visit with my mother and I know it won't take much to push her over the edge.

I try not to make a big deal about this, so I hug her tightly and wish her luck. She gets out of the car and walks through the school gate with Paul. I don't say anything but I give him a meaningful look and he nods at me in understanding.

**(DENISE)**

I am walking into school with a false confident air. I can't fool dad. My father knows that it's all a facade and has been since I met up with Elizabeth and as such he is hovering and keeping a close eye on me. But I haven't admitted to anyone how much what she said got to me, I feel like I am going mad, I keep hearing her words going through my mind and I keep re-playing them over and over and over.

I try and focus on the matter in hand though, and that at the moment is my final exams. I pull myself together and concentrate, dad has moved heaven and earth to secure this for me and I can't thank him enough and I don't want to let him down. I just hope I get to walk at my graduation ceremony it will be a close thing as it is uncomfortably close to my due date, but first things first at this moment I need to do my final exams.

I am met by the principal who greets me warmly and leads me to a small classroom where a desk has been set up for me. Paul takes a seat outside the room and I go in and take my seat, I glance down at the papers in front of me, take a deep breath and begin to write.

Before I know it I have finished and I come out feeling pretty confident and positive. I have found the work easy and generally speaking unchallenging all year so I am pretty confident in my abilities.

Paul stands as I leave the room. "Ready?" he asks and I nod.

"I am, let's go home" I say.

As we leave the school, I pause. I see the car waiting for us Paul stops and looks at me anxiously.

"Dennie are you ok?" he asks.

I nod, "Yes do we have to go home yet? I've changed my mind I would like to take a walk through Central Park, would that be ok?" I ask.

Paul quickly makes a call and relays my request, I am assuming to Raul. When he hangs up he nods and leads me to the car and drives us to Central Park, after he finally finds somewhere to park the car we venture into the park.

I feel much better as I walk through the park and Paul walks silently beside me, his eyes everywhere.

"I'm sorry this isn't a relaxing walk for you is it?" I ask as I watch him scanning the area.

He smiles at me, "Don't worry about it" he says kindly.

Suddenly I hear someone call my name and I look around in surprise.

"Denise! I thought it was you" I look up at the figure walking briskly towards me. I frown until I realise who it is. It is Brett Kline's son Nick. I am shocked he remembers me, and even more surprised that he is here in New York.

"Nicky! Hi! What are you doing in New York?" I ask.

He grins at me, "I'm here to see your dad actually, he said if I was serious about a career in the music business to come and see him here in New York and so here I am. But at the moment we are taking some time out and seeing the sights, it's been a number of years since my dad was here last".

"Where's Brett now?" I ask looking around.

"He's taking some photographs and reminiscing, I got fed up with waiting for him but he'll catch me up when he's ready" Nicky says with a grin.

Just as he says this I see Brett Kline running up, he stops when he sees me and then recognition floods his face and he beams at me.

"Hi, Denise" he says.

I nod, "Hi Brett how are you? I ask.

"I'm good, you?" he asks his eyes falling to my huge stomach.

"I'm ok thanks, I'll be better in about eight weeks time" I say and pat my bump.

Brett laughs and nods politely at Paul. "We are in New York for a meeting with your dad" he explains.

I nod, "Yeah, Nick just explained, I hope everything goes ok for you" I say.

We continue to walk chatting easily and for the first time in days I start to relax as I am not over thinking and reliving the meeting with Elizabeth on a constant loop in my head. I pause as my son gives me a healthy kick and it takes my breath away and I press my hand to my side, Brett looks at me in panic.

"Are you ok? You're not going into labour or anything are you?" he asks.

I smile at him and shake my head, "No my son just thinks it's funny to kick me" I say as I rub my side again.

I sit down for a moment on a seat and take some deep breaths and Nicky sits beside me, looking around at our surroundings. "It's really nice here you don't expect this right in the centre of the city" he says.

"I love it here" I say and gasp again as I get another solid kick, I look down at myself and rub my bump, "Will you pack it in Byron" I say and I look up to see Nicky smile.

"Byron?" he asks and I nod.

"That's the name I picked for him" I say a little defensively.

"That's a cool name!" he says with a genuine smile, "It's kind of unusual" he adds.

I nod, "I learnt about Lord Byron the poet and the name kind of stuck in my mind" I say. "He was a worshiper of the ideal but he never lost touch with reality; he was a freethinker and although he was a peer of the realm, he championed liberty in his works and deeds, giving money, time, energy, and finally his life to the Greek war of independence" I add and then I feel myself blush, "sorry" I say quietly.

Nicky shakes his head, "No not at all" he says. "In his dynamism, sexuality, self-revelation, and demands for freedom for oppressed people everywhere, Byron captivated the Western mind and heart as few writers have, stamping upon nineteenth-century letters, arts, politics, even clothing styles, his image and name as the embodiment of Romanticism" he adds almost as though he is reading from an encyclopaedia and then he grins at me and I stare in surprise at him. "I learnt about him too and found him an interesting character!" he says with a nonchalant shrug.

We carry on walking again and we eventually end up back at the car. I stop, I am tired now and want to go home, "well, this is my ride" I say pointing at the Merc.

"We are going to do some more sightseeing" Brett says, "it was good to see you again Denise, if we don't see you again, good luck and I hope everything goes ok" he says pointing at my bump.

"Thank you Brett" I say and I glance at Nicky "Bye and good luck with my dad, I hope that goes well for you" I say.

"Thanks Denise, I have to admit I am a little nervous, do you have any advice on how to handle it?" he asks.

I laugh, "He may not show it but my dad is a big softy really" I say.

Brett raises his eyebrows and looks at me incredulously, "that is not a term I would use to describe Gideon Cross!" He says.

I laugh again, "No perhaps not, he doesn't generally tend to show his softer side much outside home" I admit. "But he is a good man and he won't mess you around, just be honest and straight with him, he appreciates that about people" I say. "He doesn't like people blowing smoke up his ass either, show him respect but don't be too over the top, as he can't abide ass kissers" I add.

Nicky nods and takes in what I say. "Thanks that's actually good advice" he says.

"Let me know how you get on" I say as I quickly scribble down my cell phone number and hand it to him.

Nicky nods as he takes it from, he has an odd expression on his face, "I will" he says and he smiles at me and I feel that weird feeling where my breath almost catches as I see him smile.

With that they say goodbye and I watch them walk away as I climb into the Merc to head home.


	34. Chapter 34

**Authors note: ***WARNING: This chapter deals with some pretty heavy stuff, Denise reaches rock bottom in this chapter and things get desperate enough for her to believe that her only option is to end it all. This chapter also shows how that decision affects those closest to her. I just want to reiterate this is NOT to glamorise this subject but to try and show how mental health issues and a suicide attempt affects not only the person concerned but the entire family, and please keep in mind this is Denise's lowest point so from here onwards we see her rebuilding.**

CHAPTER 34

_Seven Weeks Later..._

Now I don't have my school work to focus on and keep my mind busy I find myself spending a lot of my time brooding over the situation with Elizabeth Vidal and Landon. I am obsessively dissecting everything that has happened and comprehensively putting the blame on myself I can see how Landon is right, he is desperately sad and grieving for the loss of his son, the loss that I caused. If it hadn't been for me he would never have been in that damn car with me, Mike wouldn't have had any need to do what he did.

I touch my bump if I hadn't been stupid and listened to the doctor properly I wouldn't be in this position about to give birth to a little boy who really deserves better than me as a mother. What if I turn out to be like Elizabeth Vidal? She was a shocking mother to my father. What if I am like her to my son and ruin his life like she ruined my father's?

These thoughts continue to plague me and I can't shake them from my mind. I hardly go out at all now, Liv has tried to persuade me to go out with her on a number of occasions and take a walk through Central Park and so has Josephine, but I politely decline and I just lie on my bed in my room most of the time now. I have even stopped talking to Dr Travis, he helped me but I just don't feel like talking to him anymore. I don't want to talk to anyone. I don't want to contaminate anyone so it's best if I just keep myself to myself. In fact the only person I have spoken to outside the home in the past few weeks is Nicky Kline, he called to tell me that he is being taken on by Vidal Records and he is going to record an album. He thanked me for my advice about how to deal with dad. In fact we have talked a few times and he is the only person I have really had much interaction with at all.

My bedroom door opens and my dad walks in, he looks worried and it's a look which is permanently on his face these days. I know I am the cause of it and it just makes me feel worse, I look up at him and force a weak smile.

"Hi daddy, what's up?" I ask.

"You need to get up, get a shower and get ready we are going out, it's the weekend and we are going out as a family" he says firmly.

I shake my head, "No I don't feel like it I'll just stay here" I protest.

My dad shakes his head, "No, you are getting up and you are going to pull yourself together and you are going to come with us, this has to stop Denise. It is your graduation ceremony soon and the principal called me this morning, did you know that you are the valedictorian this year, you are nearly seventeen years old you have graduated early and you managed to be the valedictorian, I am so proud of you and right now you need to snap out of this and look at the positives and right now that means we are all going out to celebrate your achievement". He stands in front of me his hands on his hips.

I sigh and slowly heave myself off the bed, my graduation ceremony is in about three or four weeks... but my due date is next week. I had no idea that I'd be valedictorian how the hell did I manage that? I don't even know if I want to participate in my graduation ceremony. I will have a young baby to take care of and although part of me wants to do it another part of me just wishes that everyone would leave me alone.

I find myself climbing off the bed and heading into the bathroom and turning on the shower, I undress and climb in letting water cascade over me I close my eyes and lift my head, and I start to cry. I hate feeling like this, what the hell is wrong with me; I can't seem to shake these feelings of worthlessness and total apathy.

I do feel a little better after I have made the effort to wash myself and I get dressed. I head out to the sitting room and Zoe runs to me and hugs me, resting her head on my bump, she giggles when Byron kicks her and she feels it. She turns and touches where he kicked with her hand. It fascinates her watching my stomach rolling and moving as he turns himself around inside me. Josephine and Liv approach me and link their arms with mine so I have no choice but to move with them.

"Come on, we are going out for lunch, it's a lovely day outside and it will be much better than being cooped up in your bedroom" Josephine insists.

I nod and decide to go with the flow. Just let them do what they want to do; I'll tag along and hopefully not ruin their day.

We go to one of our favourite restaurants and my dad is holding court as usual, everyone does exactly what he wants, they always do. He leads us towards the private dining area and we sit at our table. I go through the motions ordering a light lunch as I don't feel hungry I haven't had any appetite for the past few weeks, since my altercation with Elizabeth Vidal actually. It's almost like she has sucked everything out of me. I shake my head I agreed to that meeting I have to stop thinking about her, I will drive myself insane otherwise.

I hear my family talking and laughing, chattering about nothing in particular, I watch them but I have nothing to say, so I just sit quietly and watch, observe from the outside.

The more I watch the more I believe that I am no longer a part of this family and that they would all be better off without me. My dad doesn't know this but I have started cutting again and worse than before as I just don't seem to have the willpower to stop myself, I cut on my legs where nobody can see, I wear sweats or maternity slacks and jeans all the time to hide the self inflicted marks, it is the only time I feel anything just lately when the blade of the knife cuts through my skin. I have tried resisting… sometimes; I need to let my skin heal before I give birth as I don't want any awkward questions asked about the wounds.

The lunch itself passes without incident, another reason why I don't like leaving the apartment is I am afraid of walking into Ryan Landon, whenever I leave I am on edge worrying if I am going to run into him.

If I stay inside he can't get to me, his campaign against me hasn't diminished any so I am just keeping out of his way, avoiding leaving the sanctuary of the apartment to make the chances of any meeting and altercation with him impossible. I heard my dad talking with Raul and I know he has been hanging around the apartment at times hoping to see me. My dad doesn't think I know but I do.

"Dad says that you are Valedictorian this year - Have you thought about your speech for the graduation ceremony?" Liv asks me suddenly making me pull myself from my brooding.

"Erm... no, I only found out today, I'm not sure what to say to be honest, and there is a good chance I won't get the chance to give it" I say touching my stomach.

My dad smiles, "You will, we will all be there for you and support you so you get to do this" he says.

I nod but don't say anything; I know that my dad will do everything to help me. He has done so much already. I love him so much but I feel such a huge disappointment to him.

**(GIDEON)**

We are sitting having lunch and I can't take my eyes off my eldest daughter, I am worried sick about her, since she finished school I have watched as she has slowly and steadily slid further into a pit of depression, nobody can seem to reach her now. Since she hasn't had school to focus on she seems to have given up. She spends her days in her room, refusing to come out. She barely eats and when she does do things its without any enthusiasm, it's as if she is just going through the motions. I have found myself talking with Dr Travis more than she has lately and he too is worried about her. I also have my suspicions that she is self harming again which worries me more than anything, especially with her being pregnant.

We are all talking and chatting hoping it will encourage her to join in with us but she just sits quietly and watches. Josephine tries hard to support her she knows what it's like and she understands depression and mental health issues, I have no fucking idea how to handle this.

I am relieved when she eats some lunch, and Liv tries to encourage some conversation out of her by talking about her graduation. I am beyond proud of her, not only is she graduating early – very early but she is the valedictorian of this graduation year, yet she doesn't realise what a huge thing that is and I fear she will try and pull out of attending her own graduation using her son as the excuse, her due date is next week, so she will be dealing with a newborn at the time of the ceremony but everyone is determined to support her so she is able to attend and participate in what is a milestone event and huge achievement in her life.

I take a gulp of wine and glance around the table. "Christian called me this morning" I say, this immediately gets everyone's attention including Denise who looks up at me.

"He confirmed he and Ana are flying in for your graduation ceremony, but not only that, everyone else is coming with him - Grace, Carrick, Elliot, Kate, Mia and Ethan are all coming too and Christian is making detour via California and bringing Victor with him and then stopping off in Detroit and picking up Denise and Ray, everyone wants to see you graduate" I say.

Denise stares at me, "They don't need to do that" she says dismissively and my heart sinks at her words.

"Denise they want to" I say. I pause, "Monica and Richard are also coming" I add and I watch as she looks up in surprise, I knew that this would get a reaction.

"What?" she gasps.

I nod, "Yes I know, I called them out of courtesy, informing them of your graduation and explained to them that you were valedictorian and how proud I was of you, I didn't expect them to agree to come, but they did without reservation. Everyone wants to be there for you Denise, everyone is so proud of you and for everything that you have achieved" I say.

I watch as she smiles a small but genuine smile and the sight of it makes my heart lurch violently. It's only small but to me at this moment it is everything. I see her slowly participating more and for the remainder of the meal and I encourage it by trying to draw her out of herself.

Everything falls apart though as we leave the restaurant, and we walk into Landon who is coming in with my mother. I watch as Denise freezes at the sight of them, Raul and Paul quickly step in and Josephine wraps her arm protectively around Denise, Liv grips her hand and I step in front of her shielding her. Zoe looks around bewildered wondering why everyone is suddenly so tense, she looks at Landon and Elizabeth and I see my mother staring at her.

"Well well well" Landon says with a sneer as he takes in everyone, "Daddy Cross out with his family" he says. His eyes rest on Denise and I see her visibly shrink under his gaze. He notices too and it provokes him to speak again. He lets rip and shovels the same shit he always has done towards her, playing on her insecurities and insinuating that she will be a bad mother and her son will be better off with him. Blaming her for Josh's death and for basically existing. I watch my mother as she listens to him, she stares at him in shock and I realise this is the first time she has seen his true colours. But before I can say anything or anyone can do anything it's Zoe who reacts and she reacts violently. She rushes forward and swiftly kicks Landon's shin, he yelps in pain and stumbles backwards.

"You leave my sister alone you bully, she is the best sister in the world and she will be a brilliant mom, she looked after me and Liv when our mom died and she is always there for us, you don't know what you are talking about. You can't take her son, you have no right. He is her son and my dad won't let you do it" she turns to me, "Will you dad?" she asks.

I step forward and pull her away, "No I won't Zoe, come on pumpkin lets go" I say.

Landon is speechless and I notice my mother has physically removed herself from his presence stepping away from him. I turn my attention to her.

"This is the real Ryan Landon, the Ryan Landon we have been dealing with since before Josh died" I say to her and with that I usher my family away.

Denise is visibly shaken by this and has retreated further into herself, all the progress we made over lunch has gone and possibly she has retreated even further. Josephine and Liv are whispering earnestly to her but she has shut down completely, there is nothing there at all.

We head back to the apartment and as soon as we arrive Denise disappears into her room without a word and shuts the door. I go to follow her as I have a bad feeling about this, I worry she is going to do something stupid and Josephine looks worried too.

"Leave her for a while, give her time" she says, I nod perhaps that is for the best. A few moments later I hear the angry sounds of heavy metal music coming out of her room.

**(DENISE)**

I walk into my room and close the door, my mind is replaying everything Landon said, it was nothing new, I have heard it all before but he is right. I decide to put some music on I need something to distract me something loud… something heavy. I have all these thoughts and emotions coursing through me I feel like my head is going to explode and I feel edgy yet paradoxically I feel something heavy will ease that feeling. I make a selection, Five Finger Death Punch they are always good for heavy, Metallica and Slipknot I press play and the first song starts to play. I cruise through All hope is gone and The Gray chapter the two Slipknot album's I have which come up first I have to be in the mood for Slipknot but it hits the spot nicely today and mirrors how I am feeling. Five Finger Death Punch comes up next and I listen to Ivan Moody's voice and it's like he is talking to me I pause and I listen to 'A Place to Die', I stop and play it again and listen to the words again.

A seed of an idea comes into my mind, seed which is a radical idea, I try and push it from my mind but it takes hold and I can't help but think closer about it, Metallica comes up next and I pause again as the Ride the Lightening album I am now listening to comes down a notch and 'Fade to Black' comes on and as I listen to the words that seed of an idea takes root and starts to rapidly grow.

I can't help it, the idea takes over my mind and suddenly it's the best idea in the world, and the answer to everything it's all suddenly so clear. I mean Landon wants to take my baby from me, but if I die and take my son with me he won't be able to. It seems like the most logical way to stop him. Josh is dead, and the pain, loss and emptiness I feel every damn day without him will stop. Landon will get his pound Cross flesh so he will get what he wants, plus I will atone for my part in Josh's death, as far as I can see it is win win all around. My son and I will be reunited with Josh and I am keeping my promise to Josh I am keeping my son safe. He will be safe with me. I find myself thinking about Jenny, her circumstances were different but I understand now why she took the option she did, I feel a sense of purpose and I think and analyse it and I honestly can't see anything negative about this. I think of my dad, Josephine and sisters, and I sit down and write a letter to each one individually to say goodbye and explaining to them why this is for the best.

I pause as I reach for my pad and write. It takes me ages to write the three letters I have a pile of screwed up abandoned attempts littering the floor before I finally get three letters I am happy with. When I have finally got letters I am happy with I sit with them in front of me and read through them once more before pushing them into envelopes and addressing them to my father and sisters.

I start with my father.

_Dad,_

_I have made a decision, I need you to understand why I am doing this and I don't want you to be sad. Mr Landon is right, if I hadn't gotten pregnant Josh would still be alive now and that is something I can never forgive myself for but I can make it right. _

_I know you would do everything in your power to stop Mr Landon taking my son from me, but I am his mother and it is my place to protect him and I don't want to put that burden on you or my family. So this way I am protecting my son. Mr Landon won't be able to get him because he will be with me and I'm keeping my promise to Josh, my son will come with me and we will be reunited with Josh again, I believe that._

_I am sorry for all the hurt and pain and trouble I have caused you dad, you didn't deserve it, I need you to know that you are the best dad in the world and you deserved a far better daughter than me and you don't deserve to continue to have to mop up my messes. I am taking control of my life once and for all, and this will be the best for everyone in the long run. You have Josephine in your life now, be happy with her she is good for you and along with Liv and Zoe you will have everything you need._

_Goodbye dad and I love you._

_Dennie x_

I read it and reread it and I am happy with it, I push it into the envelope and write Dad on it setting it to one side start on Liv's and read that one more time.

_Dear Liv_

_I just want you to know you are such a good person, don't fuck up your life Iike I have. You are so bright and intelligent, follow your dreams and go get 'em!_

_I am so proud of you and I love you so much, I have always been honoured to call you my sister and I need you to know that what I am doing is for the best for me and my son and we will be watching over you with Josh and mom. Take care of Zoe for me, keep an eye on her and make sure she stays out of trouble. Accept Josephine, she is a good person and dad loves her and she loves all of us too._

_I love you Liv, and I want you to be happy for me and know what I am doing is the right thing for me._

_Love you loads sis._

_Dennie x_

I then start on Zoe's. I was surprised by her outburst at Landon and when she kicked him his face was priceless. I sit and stare at the paper this letter was the hardest it took me absolutely ages to get right but finally I am happy with what I have done.

_Dear Zoe_

_Thank you for what you said about me today you are a good girl. Don't be sad that I'm not here anymore, when you get older you will understand why I did what I did and realise it was for the best. I want you to know that I love you so much and you are the best little sister anyone could wish for._

_I want you to listen to dad, Josephine and Liv and be a good girl, make sure you live your life properly and you fulfil all your ambitions and dreams._

_I love you Zoe._

_Goodbye my sweet little sister._

_Dennie x_

I read it and nod, I write Zoe's name on the third envelope and then I finally write one to Josephine.

_Dear Josephine_

_I want to thank you for coming into my dad's life and showing him love, I am relying on you to look after him and my sisters. You are a good person Josephine, and I am so glad my dad met you._

_I hope that you two eventually take the next step and marry and hopefully have a child of your own you are still young enough to do that and I'm sure my dad would love it. Thank you for your support towards me since you met me, I will always be grateful to you for the kindness you showed me._

_Thank you for everything._

_Denise x_

I place it in an envelope and put it with the others then I figure out how I am going to do this. I think about tablets but I dismiss that, I could survive that and just cause damage to my son and I don't want that. I search and find some razor blades and decide on this, I close the bathroom door and sit on the floor and take a deep breath as I put the blades to my wrist, I pause I need this to work I pump my fist so I can see my veins I close my eyes and I feel the hot rush of pain as I slice into my wrist I quickly cut the other one and settle down and watch the blood oozing out.

"I'm coming Josh" I whisper, and then I close my eyes and wait.

After a while I'm not sure how long, I vaguely hear the door open.

"Shit! Fuck Dennie what the hell have you done!" I hear my sister's voice but it sounds a long way away.

"Please its fine Liv, I've explained it all in the letter, it's for the best" I say.

"Oh my god Dennie! Shit DAD, DAD PLEASE DAD COME QUICK!" I feel my sister's arm around me and her hands on my wrists. "DAD!" she shouts again. I rest my head on her shoulder and close my eyes.

"No Dennie stay with me" she begs.

"It's alright really" I murmur.

I hear voices, I hear my dad and I hear him curse and then I sense activity around me I open my eyes. I see my father and Josephine they look panic stricken.

"Dad, its fine honestly I've explained everything - there's a letter, I've explained everything… it's for the best, Byron and I will be safe away from Landon and back with Josh" I say and I close my eyes again.

**(CHRISTIAN)**

"ANA!" I am yelling and she comes walking into the kitchen where I am pacing.

"What on earth is the matter?" she asks staring at me as if I have gone insane.

"Denise has tried to kill herself, Gideon is obviously distraught" I say.

I watch as all colour drains from Ana's face and she grips the door. "Oh my god, is she? The baby?" she stammers.

"They are both alive but Gideon is obviously in pieces. We are flying out now today, he needs us Ana and we have to go, look at the times he has dropped everything in the past to stand beside us when we needed help and he needs us now more than ever before" I say waving my hand emphatically to emphasise the point I am making.

I watch as Ana nods and she leaves the room saying she will go and pack. I quickly call John and my mother and outline what has happened. Neither of them hesitates and both want to fly out with us. They both say they will meet us at the airport and I hang up and carry on making arrangements.

**(ANA)**

To say I am shocked would be a huge understatement, Christian has gone into organisational mode, he says we need to go to New York and I don't argue. I nod and quickly go upstairs and pack. Christian is still talking and I know he is arranging everything to get us to New York as quickly as humanly possible. I glance at my watch, it is nearly midday here which means it's about 3pm in New York, hopefully Christian will use his influence and we should be in the air within the hour I would have thought, so if we leave at 1pm we should be touching down in New York about 5/6pm add on the time difference so it will be 8/9pm by the time we arrive. I pause, this is one occasion where I don't mind Christian using his wealth and influence to get things done.

Everything comes together and in no time we are sitting on the GEH plane waiting for our take off slot, also on the plane is Grace and Dr Flynn they had met us here at the airport. Christian had called them both and they had wanted to accompany us to New York. John has been talking to Gideon for a few moments letting him know he will be coming to New York and telling Gideon not to blame himself. He looks up as the announcement comes that we are about to take off, I hear him wrap up the call and see him switch off his phone. Grace looks upset and worried and I know it will be a long flight. Jason is tapping away on a laptop in the corner and I know he is making arrangements for us for when we land. Christian doesn't allow cell phones to be on during flights but he doesn't worry about lap tops and I watch him as he pulls his own out and starts to tap on it.

The atmosphere in the plane is pretty oppressive and anxiety is high. I wonder exactly what we are going to find when we get to New York. My mind goes to my own daughter, Phoebe was shocked at the news when I told her we were flying out to New York, she had wanted to come, but when we explained why we were going she said it would probably be best if she stayed in Seattle. I knew Gideon was worried about Denise. He had repeatedly said how she had slipped and was slowly falling deeper into a pit of depression since she had finished school. But I don't think any of us realised just how desperate she had got. I can't believe that she would do this, not so close to giving birth and I can only choose to believe that it was a cry for help.

After what seems like an eternity we begin our descent into New York, and a short while later we are getting off the plane and into a waiting car which Jason had managed to organise for us. I look at my watch we have made good time it's just turned 8pm. Christian is on the phone Gideon is at the hospital with Denise and Josephine is at the apartment with Olivia and Zoe. Since we landed I have been fielding calls from everyone in Seattle. Kate, Elliot, Mia and Carrick have all left messages on my voicemail asking me to pass on their best wishes and asking to be kept informed. I quickly send a group text stating we have landed safely and will keep everyone informed. As we are heading towards the hospital my phone buzzes.

"Hello" I say.

"Annie, where are you?" my dad's worried voice comes to me.

"Hi daddy, we have just landed in New York and we are making our way to the hospital" I say.

"What's going on? I tried to call you at home and Phoebe answered she was saying you and Christian weren't there and that you were heading to New York she said something had happened to Denise?" he says.

I sigh, "Yes, it appears that Denise tried to take her own life, I don't know the details or what exactly happened yet but Gideon called Christian earlier today in a state and we literally dropped everything and flew out. We are on route to the hospital now" I look up, "Actually daddy we have just arrived; can I call you back later when I will have more information?" I say.

"Sure, keep us posted Annie, Denise is worried sick, she has a soft spot for that girl I mean she delivered her when she was born" he says.

"I know, we all love her and I can't believe she would do such a thing. She must have been feeling really desperate to attempt suicide" I stop speaking as the car pulls to a halt outside the hospital. "Look daddy I have to go" I say.

We say our goodbye's and I hang up. We all troop into the hospital and Christian immediately takes charge we are quickly shown to the private room where Denise is and we quietly enter. I see she is sleeping. Her wrists are bandaged and Gideon is sitting beside her holding one of her hands and stroking it with his thumb.

"Gideon" Christian says gently, I watch as Gideon's head whips up at the sound and his eyes immediately focus on Grace.

I watch as she pushes forward holding open her arms to him and Gideon stands and letting go of Denise's hand he walks into them.

"Mom" he gasps and he wraps his arms around her and clings to her like a life raft.

**(GIDEON)**

I am totally shattered I can't believe I didn't see how far Denise had sunk into the abyss. She had assured me she was fine. My instincts told me she wasn't but I chose to believe her protestations that everything was fine. I was willingly blind to the facts, she was making real progress until she returned home and then that business with my mother must have pushed her over the edge.

She had worked almost obsessively with her school work when she returned to New York and she has done so well, I kept telling her how proud I am of her; perhaps the sudden lack of the pressure of school helped to make things go bad? I have no fucking idea, I am so far out of my depth I am drowning, all I know is I failed my daughter and I failed Eva. I fucking promised her I would take care of our girls and I have spectacularly failed to do so.

As I sit alone in the hospital room with my daughter I think back of the events of this afternoon to the point we are now at.

I go cold as I remember that terrified scream when Liv went to look for her...

_"What is Denise doing, her music has stopped?" I say as I notice that the throbbing music has finished._

_Olivia stands and pats my arm, "I'll go and see what she is doing, I bet she fell asleep – although how she could sleep with that racket is beyond me" she smiles and walks away._

_I pick up my laptop and check my emails, but I hardly get started when I hear Olivia screaming for me._

_"DAD, DAD PLEASE DAD COME QUICK!" I leap up pushing my laptop the side of me, Josephine stands too and follows me. "DAD!" she screams again._

_I break into a sprint and burst into Denise's bedroom it is empty and I hear Olivia's voice coming from the adjoining bathroom._

_"No Dennie stay with me" I hear her say._

_I push the door open and I nearly collapse when I take in the sight in front of me. Olivia is on the floor her hands clasped over gaping wounds on Denise's wrists, razor blades are scattered around her and there is blood everywhere. Denise is leaning back on Olivia with her eyes closed and she is deathly pale._

_"Fuck" I gasp, I turn to Josephine and she has immediately pulled out her phone and is calling for an ambulance._

_I crouch down beside my daughters; Olivia looks at me terror in her eyes. "She'll be fine an ambulance is on its way" I say with a shaking voice. I pull open a drawer and pull out some towels and wrap them around Denise's wrists._

_"Go wash your hands Liv" I say as I take over from her grasping Denise's wrists tightly to stem the bleeding. She opens her eyes and looks at me._

_"Dad, its fine honestly I've explained everything - there's a letter, I've explained everything… it's for the best. Byron and I will be safe away from Landon, and back with Josh" she says, and her words slay me, she was serious it wasn't a cry for help she meant to do it. I look up at Josephine._

_"She said there's a letter" I say and Josephine nods and goes back out to the bedroom. She returns moments later with the pile of envelopes._

_"She wrote one to you, Liv, Zoe and me" she says, she quickly opens one and reads it; I see her blinking away tears._

_"What did she say?" I ask although I really don't want to know._

_Josephine reads out the letter Denise had written her, I am shocked she is voicing my own thoughts about marrying Josephine and having a child with her, and she was giving us her blessing. I shake my head; this is beyond creepy in one way. I look down at the limp figure in my arms, and then I shake my head._

_"Call Raul and Paul I need them here" I say Josephine nods and make the call._

_Moments later the bathroom door opens and Raul enters and quickly crouches and looks at the wounds, he looks shocked and he curses softly. _

_"She's done a good job, this isn't regular self harming she really meant that" he says grimly, "firm direct pressure and elevate the limbs to stem the flow" he adds. I nod and pull up her arms above her head. I watch as he takes her pulse in her neck, "Weak but regular" he says._

_"The baby...What about the baby?" I say quietly._

_He puts his hand on her stomach and smiles, "He just kicked me so he's fine at the moment" he says._

_A moment later the paramedics arrive with Paul and quickly take over they ask numerous questions about the pregnancy and if she is on any medication I answer almost on autopilot and then swiftly she is put on a trolley and we head out._

_I immediately stand to go with her and Josephine touches my arm, "I'll stay here with Zoe and Liv" she says and I nod, she squeezes my hand and I squeeze back in a silent gesture of thanks._

_We arrive at the hospital and there is a flurry of activity and questions upon questions asking why. If I knew that she wouldn't be here, as I would have prevented it. She is put on a foetal monitor and I sag with relief at the sound of Byron's strong steady heart beat. Denise's wrists are cleaned and stitched and then dressed. She is given a transfusion and then put on a drip. When they have stabilised her the doctor comes to me and pulls me to one side._

_"Physically she is going to be fine, she lost quite a bit of blood, but that has been rectified. The baby is fine, there is no harm done there, but we need to address the reasons your daughter felt she had no option but to take her life. I would like to admit her to the psych ward for a full evaluation" he says._

_I shake my head, "No, she was seeing a therapist and I am going to fly him here over night he will be here tomorrow – she trusts him and he helped her before" I say firmly but inside I pray I am doing the right thing._

_The doctor nods. "Well in that case we will just transfer her to a private room then and keep her under observation" he says. I nod my agreement and we are soon transferred to the private room._

_As soon as we are settled I pull out my phone, first of all I call Dr Travis._

_"Hello, Dr Travis speaking" he says._

_"Travis, Gideon Cross, I'm sorry to put this on you, but how quickly can you get to the airport?" I say with no preamble._

_"Erm..." he stammers._

_"Sorry, we have a situation here in New York and I really need you here on the ground" I say._

_"What's happened?" he asks gently._

_"Denise, cut her wrists today, not just self harming it was a full blown suicide attempt" I say._

_"I see how is she? And also how is the baby?" he asks._

_"Alive" I say. "They are both fine physically, but I have no fucking idea what to do, and she will definitely need your help" I say._

_"Of course, give me time to sort out my practice. I have appointments I will need to reschedule so if we say I will be at the airport by 7pm – California time?" he says._

_"Thank you I will have a plane waiting for you to bring you to New York" I say gratefully."I'll have accommodation arranged and someone will meet you at La Guardia, and you can rest and then stop by the hospital tomorrow morning" I say._

_"Thank you" he replies._

_I hang up and call Raul and tell him to make the necessary arrangements for Dr Travis and his accommodation, he assures me it will be done and asks me how Denise is, and I glance at my daughter._

_"She is sleeping at the moment but physically she and the baby are fine" I say._

_"That's good news sir" he says._

_I hang up and I think of what could of happened and I tremble violently, I want to call someone, so I call my father but his phone is off and goes to voicemail, I hang up and I call Christian, he may be the other side of the country but I am by far closer to him than any of my other siblings._

_"Gideon how are you?" he says and that kind yet no nonsense tone is my undoing._

_"Fuck bro it's a fucking mess" I blurt out._

_"Hey bro, calm down what the fuck has happened?" he asks in a much softer tone._

_I take a deep shuddering breath "It's Denise, she tried to fucking kill herself today, and I'm at the hospital now" I say._

_There is a long pause before he speaks but when he does, he sounds as though he has had the stuffing kicked out of him. "Shit, is she ok? What about the baby?" he asks with obvious concern._

_"She slit her fucking wrists Christian there was blood everywhere, they are both alive but what the fuck was she thinking and going through to even consider doing something like that, I fucking let her down, I never saw what was happening" I say._

_"Listen bro, calm down and stop blaming yourself" Christian says firmly._

_"Who else can I blame, she was desperate and I missed all the fucking signs" I say, as I feel the anger inside me rising dramatically._

_"Ok listen to me, I'm going to hang up on you because I coming to New York, now ok?" he says soothingly._

_"Ok" I say, and this calms me, my brother is coming he knows I need him and he is coming._

_I hang up and my phone rings, it is Josephine, I quickly answer._

_"Hi Gideon, Liv wants to see Denise" she says._

_I pause "She is sleeping at the moment" I say._

_"Yes but Liv is going out of her mind with worry, don't forget she found her, she needs to see she is alright" she says._

_"Alright, but not Zoe" I say._

_"That's fine I agree with that, "Andy has come in and he said he will sit with her while I come over, Davis is also here and he said he will drive us over, Raul had to go out" she says._

_"Alright baby, I'll see you both shortly" I say._

_I hang up and I pick up my daughters hand and press it to my lips. "Denise, what the fuck were you thinking?" I murmur as I stare at her._

_As I watch her I see her eyes open and she looks around confused, then realisation dawns and she looks at her wrists and she bursts into tears._

_"Oh god daddy I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" she sobs, her hand goes to her stomach and I see the relief on her face. "Byron is he ok?" she asks._

_I nod, "He's fine" I confirm._

_"Oh thank god" she gasps and closes her eyes briefly, she pulls her hand free from mine and pushes herself up the bed wincing as she does so and she glances at her wrists._

_"Careful!" I say and I lean forward and wrapping my arms around her I heave her to a sitting position. "Is that better?" I ask as I adjust the bed accordingly and her pillows._

_She nods, "Thank you daddy" she says, she looks at me sheepishly, "Daddy, I'm so sorry, I have no idea what I was thinking, all I know is it seemed like the best idea I had ever had. I wrote you a letter and everyone else, I wasn't thinking straight… I'm sorry daddy, I'm so, so sorry" she says._

_I grasp her hand, "No sweetheart, I'm sorry, you have been struggling for a while after everything that has happened and I just didn't see how bad it had got, then against all my better judgement I asked you to go and meet my mother, I should never have done that. Can you forgive me?" I ask._

_"Oh daddy!" she gasps and she flings her arms around me, I hold her close and there we sit sobbing on each other. I have no idea how long we sit like that but we pull apart as there is a soft knock at the door and when it opens I see Josephine and Liv both looking extremely worried._

_"Dennie" Liv says as she lays eyes on her sister, and she runs towards her fling herself at her. Then she takes a step back and scowls at her. "What the fuck possessed you?" she snaps._

_"Liv" I say warningly._

_Denise looks at me and shakes her head, "No dad she's right" she says sadly._

_"Yes but recrimination won't help anyone, we need to focus on the fact you and Bryon are alive and physically ok" I say._

_Liv bursts into tears, "I found you Dennie I found you on the floor in your bathroom… it was horrible, worse than any horror movie seeing you like that. I thought you were dead, I was so fucking scared" she sobs._

_Denise looks at her sister and pulls her close, her big sister instincts kicking in. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry Liv" she says trying to offer her sister comfort._

_Josephine steps forward and sits down on Denise's bed, "You are alive and safe, that is all that matters at this moment" she says and she wraps her arm around Denise, "I read the letter you left me Denise, and while I thank you for what you said, I want you to be here and tell me that in person rather than in a letter. I will look after your dad and help to take care of your sisters but I also want to help you and take care of you and your baby" she says._

_Denise looks up and her and smiles through the tears, "You are a good person Josephine" she says. Her face clouds a moment and then panic fills it. "Oh my god Zoe, she didn't see me did she?" she asks._

_We all shake our heads, "No, she was in her room when everything kicked off" Liv says._

_"All we have told her is that you are unwell, and had to go to the hospital" Josephine says._

_Denise nods and looks relieved at that. "I have no idea what possessed me to do it, I have been having bad thoughts and negative thoughts for a while, and then after today when I saw... him again something just snapped, and I was listening to my music and Fade to Black came on and I listened to the words and they spoke to me and it suddenly seemed so clear and obvious and once it had took root in my mind, I was sure that it was the best thing to do, the right thing" she looks around, "I'm so sorry" she says again._

_"That song gets removed from your collection" Josephine says firmly._

_Denise shakes her head, "No, it wasn't the fault of the song, it just articulated how I was feeling; you can't blame a song for making me do what I did. The thoughts I was having and the feelings of worthlessness were there long before I listened to it, I was struggling and having issues, that isn't the fault of the song or the person who wrote it" she says._

_Josephine digs in her purse and pulls out the letters Denise wrote, "I brought these I wasn't sure what to do with them" she says._

_I hold out my hand for them, Denise watches the envelopes pass across to me, "I don't even remember what I wrote now" she says quietly._

_I open the envelope addressed to me and quickly read the letter, I feel tears once more prickling in my eyes and I blink furiously as I read my daughters heart breaking words. When I have finished reading I shake my head and waving the paper at her "You ever, ever feel this desperate again you talk to me immediately do you understand me" I say._

_Denise nods at me, Liv is watching and I hesitate but pass the envelope addressed to her to her. Denise shakes her head, "Please don't read it" she whispers._

_Liv shakes her head, "No Dennie I need to understand I need to know what you were thinking when you did this, if I read this it will help me understand what you were thinking and what you were going through" she says._

_She reads the letter and then leans forward and hugs Denise tightly. "I love you too Dennie, but I would sooner you were here ok, don't you ever do anything this stupid again, you haven't fucked up your life, you have made mistakes but everyone does, but I want you here with me and Zoe" she says._

_I take the letters and push them into my pocket, I open the one addressed to Zoe, obviously that isn't going to be delivered I quickly read it and then push it into my pocket._

_The door opens and a nurse enters and she looks surprised at the amount of people here, "I am to check on Denise and the baby she says" I nod and we all move to allow her room to do her work._

_When she has finished she tells us everything is fine and leaves us alone, then the door opens again and Paul pokes his head around it looking anxious._

_"I'm sorry to interrupt sir, I just wanted to know if... I need to know she is ok" he says quietly, I smile at him, he has grown fond of my daughter over the time he has been protecting her._

_"Hi Paul" Denise says, "I did something stupid again" she adds as she tries to offer a small amount of levity to this tragic situation._

_"You're telling me!" he replies, "but I think this outdoes all your other stupid stunts though!" he replies with mock sternness._

_"Yeah I don't really have anywhere else left to go after this one!" she replies ruefully, but I can hear the regret and pain buried in her words, despite trying to sound flippant and banter with Paul._

_"I'll get going know I know you are ok" he says, he turns to me, "Do you need me to do anything sir?" he asks._

_I look at my watch, "No I think we are all good for now, if you would head back to the apartment and stay there until Raul gives you any further instructions" I say and Paul nods and leaves us._

_My phone buzzes and I quickly answer, "Cross" I say._

_"Gideon, John Flynn here Christian told me what happened, I am accompanying him to New York to offer you and Denise my assistance" he says._

_"John good to hear from you, I have called Travis and I am flying him in he should be here in the morning, but thank you. I appreciate the fact you are taking the time to do this" I say._

_"Not at all, I have a feeling you will need my help to process everything that has happened and if Travis is coming for Denise I can focus on you" he says._

_"Thank you" I stand up and gesturing at the phone I step out of the room._

_As soon as I am alone I open up. "I'm fucking shredded John I had no idea she felt this way... well I had my suspicions but I didn't realise it had got this bad, I have failed her" I say._

_"No you haven't John replies, "You have been there for all your children since Eva died you have been an exemplary father, don't beat yourself up about this" he says._

_"How can I not John? The evidence speaks for itself; my daughter slashed her wrists after writing us all a letter goodbye. It wasn't a cry for help or self harming, she meant it. She meant to kill herself and her son, to get away from Landon" I say._

_"Ok calm down... oh hang on, I'm sorry Gideon I have to go now we are about to take off and Christian doesn't like cell phones on during the flight, so I have to go now, but please don't get beating yourself up over this, I'll see you in a few hours time" John says._

_"Alright John and thank you" I reply. I kill the call and re-enter the room. Josephine looks up at me and smiles as I take my seat back beside Denise._

_"I'll be staying here tonight" I say quietly and Josephine nods._

_"I expected you to" she says._

_Denise shakes her head, "No daddy, please, you will be so uncomfortable you won't get any sleep or rest, please go home I'll be fine" she protests._

_"I'm staying "I say firmly._

_Liv and Josephine stay for a while longer and we all have some food together, eventually though Josephine suggest she should get back to the apartment to check on Zoe. I agree and embrace her tightly as she stands to leave. I watch as both Liv and Josephine hug Denise before leaving us alone._

_"I'm feeling a little tired" Denise says as we sit there chatting._

_I nod and adjust the bed accordingly, and I watch as my daughter drifts off to sleep…_

"Gideon," I hear my name spoken and I am drawn from my thoughts and back to the here and now by the voice of my brother, I turn and my heart leaps as I see not only Christian, Ana and John but Grace too, I immediately stand up.

"Mom" I gasp, I watch as Grace pushes forward holding her arms open to me and I fall into them.

"Gideon darling, it's alright, everything will be alright and we are here for as long as you need us" she says as she gently strokes my back.


	35. Chapter 35

CHAPTER 35

"Dad" I rouse to the sound of my daughter's voice. "Dad, are you awake?" she asks anxiously.

"Hmm... yeah... Denise? What's wrong?" I murmur as I return to consciousness. I sit up and switch on a light and Denise is standing in the doorway to the bathroom, she has one hand on her bump and the other on her back.

"What's wrong sweetheart?" I ask as I sit up and stretch. I glance at the clock it is nearly 3.30 in the morning.

"I think it's time daddy, I think my waters just broke" she says.

Now I am fully awake and alert, not to mention panic stricken. I leap to my feet and cover the short distance from the chair I was sleeping in to my daughter.

"Ok, are you sure? Are you in pain?" I ask.

She nods, "I pretty sure my waters broke, there is now quite a mess in there and I really don't think I peed myself" she says pointing behind her "and I'm getting contractions they are coming really regularly, about 10 minutes apart" she says and as she says this she presses her hand to her side and takes deep breaths as another contraction hits her.

"Ok don't worry about that, I'm just going to fetch someone, I will be right back" I say and I head out to the nurses desk.

"My daughter has gone into labour, her waters have just broken" I say to the nurse who looks up in surprise at me as I approach.

"I'll page Dr Henderson right now" the nurse says and she immediately reaches for the telephone.

I return to Denise's room and I find it is empty; I start to panic wondering where she is. "Denise where are you?" I ask nervously.

"I'm in here" she calls from inside the bathroom.

"What are you doing sweetheart?" I ask, the fear coursing through me as the memory of the last time she was alone in a bathroom fills my mind.

"I'm having a pee" she says and I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding and I quickly try and pull myself together.

"Dr Henderson has been paged" I call to her as I hover helplessly outside the bathroom door.

"That's good because my contractions are coming really regularly and they fucking hurt" she says.

I smile at her blunt comment, this is my Denise in all her foul mouthed glory and at this moment I am delighted to hear it, as she has been abnormally quiet for weeks since confronting my mother and she has barely spoken at all let alone with any feeling or emotion.

A moment later the door opens and she appears and she reaches for me as another contraction grabs her.

"Shit" she gasps as she clings to my arms, "Hell how long does it take to do this?" she asks.

I smile at her, "How long is a piece of string?" I reply she stares at me in confusion, "There is no set time, anything from a few moments to hours or even days" I say.

"Days!" she gasps in horror, "Fuck that!" she says and I stifle a snigger.

"Come on" I say as I wrap my arm around her and walk her slowly back into the room and to the bed. She stands leaning against the bed as I stand beside her and gently rub her aching back.

A few moments later Dr Henderson arrives and she quickly examines Denise. Denise is apologising profusely for the mess she has made in the bathroom and Dr Henderson tells her not to worry about it. I pace around as anxiety is starting to set in and consume me. How will she cope with the emotions of all this? She is so fragile at the moment.

I try and push the thoughts from my mind. My daughter needs me and I need to be there for her and support her through this and I don't intend on letting her down again.

"Dad" she calls and she reaches for me. She is lying on the bed now I am immediately at her side and I wrap my arm around her and hold her hand. This forcibly takes me back to when Eva was giving birth to Denise and her sisters and I took this very stance at her side to support her and help her through it.

"You are progressing very quickly Denise how long have you been having contractions?" Dr Henderson asks with a slight frown.

Denise screws up her nose and thinks, my back has been aching for the last couple of days or so but nothing major… but come to think of it, it did come and go like a contraction and I've felt off all day really, but I wasn't really paying attention to it… my mind was elsewhere". She stops and looks down and she looks ashamed. I grip her tightly and try murmur words of encouragement in her ear.

Dr Henderson also notices the change in her demeanour and speaks kindly but firmly to her. "Denise look at me, don't worry as it has actually worked to your advantage you have been in labour but due to your state of mind at the time being so distracted you were not paying attention to it and you have progressed without realising it – do you have a very high pain threshold?" Dr Henderson asks.

Denise shrugs, "I don't know but when my waters broke I got a really bad pain and since then the contractions have been stronger and more painful" she says.

"Well you are now at 7cm dilated so you are doing really well and this will be a quick labour. Your son clearly takes after you" Dr Henderson says with a grin.

Denise looks up at me, "Mom's labour with me was quick?" she asks me.

I nod, "It was, I nearly didn't make it back in time to see you born" I say, I look at Dr Henderson, "As long as the actual birth doesn't mirror Denise's birth" I say.

Dr Henderson smiles, "I'm sure everything will be fine and she is here in the hospital with plenty of qualified staff at hand" she says. "I'd like to transfer you to the delivery suite in the maternity wing" she says and Denise nods. A wheelchair is fetched and we make the short journey to the maternity wing.

Denise is hooked up to a foetal monitor and we are alone as Dr Henderson leaves us.

"Dad" Denise says suddenly.

"Yes sweetheart?" I say.

"Dad…do you… do you believe in the afterlife?" she asks. I stare at her as this wasn't a question I anticipated, but I look carefully at her and I realise she must be thinking about Josh at this moment. I hold her tightly trying to reassure her and offer her some comfort.

"I have no views either way" I reply, "Why?" I ask with more than slight trepidation.

I feel her lean closer to me and take a deep breath, "I had a dream… before I woke up and my waters broke I had a dream. Mom was in it and Josh was in it too, and mom told me I would be fine and that everything would be ok. Josh told me… he told me that he didn't want me and Bryon with him yet. He said he wanted us here to live and he would always be looking after us. It was kind of comforting, but I just wonder, was it just my over active imagination?" she stops and looks up at me and the look in her eyes slays me.

I sigh as I remember my own dreams, "Denise, do you remember that dream I had? I had a dream shortly after realised I had feelings for Josephine. I was confused and felt as though I was betraying your mom and I had a dream and it was like your mom was giving me her blessing to move on and be happy. Now logically that could be just my sub conscious coming to terms with things and accepting Josephine into my life… but I like to think it was a message from your mom" I say.

I watch as she listens carefully and nods and I pull her closer to me and press a kiss to the top of her head, "what I am trying to say is, take it however you want to. It was _your_ dream you believe it was whatever you want it to be" I say.

I watch as she thinks about that and then she smiles a small but genuine smile. "Thanks dad" she says and then she grips me and gasps as another contraction grabs her.

I don't know how long we sit like this me holding her and offering what reassurance I can as she progresses with her labour.

"Do you need any pain relief?" I ask as she grips my arm once more.

She shakes her head stoically, "No it fucking hurts but I'm kind of used to it now. It was a shock to start with but now I know what I am expecting, I didn't really want any pain relief I wanted to do this without anything" she says.

I stare at her, "Well don't be a hero, if you need pain relief you ask for it" I say.

She looks up at me, "Mom gave birth to me without any pain relief and I got stuck so she must have been in terrible pain" she says.

My mouth drops open at that, and I wonder what on earth is going through her mind for her to say something like that. "Denise, you don't have to pay a penance for what your mom went through giving birth to you, you know?!" I say sharply, as she has worried me with that remark.

She must see the shock on my face as she shakes her head, and reaches for me, "No dad you misunderstand me" she gasps, "Doing it like this with no pain relief it kind of makes me feel closer to mom" she stops and breathes deeply again and I have nothing to say to that.

Dr Henderson comes in once more and examines Denise and we are told she is now at 9cm I look at my watch, it's nearly 7am this has been a short labour. Dr Henderson has been trying to persuade Denise to have pain relief periodically throughout and she stares at my daughter as she grips me once more and breathes through the contraction.

"We'll give you another half an hour or so and then I'm sure you will be ready to push" she says kindly.

Denise nods and thanks her, when she has gone she looks up at me, "Are you going to tell Josh's mom and sisters about Byron?" she asks.

"If you want me to, Janice had asked me to inform her when the baby was born" I say.

"I don't want to stop them from seeing Byron but I don't want to risk the news getting back to Landon that he is here" she says and once again I hear the anxiety leaking into her voice.

I shake my head, "Don't worry about that now, we can figure all that out once he is born" I say, as the last thing I need is for Denise to start focussing on Landon and losing it right now.

"I wish Josh was here" she says sadly.

I pull her close, "I know, and I wish your mom was here too, but I'm afraid you are stuck with just me" I say.

She slaps my arm sharply, "Don't say that dad, you are the best, I couldn't have got through any of this if you hadn't been there, you have been my rock!" she says and then she rests her head against me as if she is making a point.

I don't say anything to that but just hold her tightly. "I remember the first time I held you in my arms after you had been born" I say absently.

She looks up at me "Tell me about it" she gasps as another pain hits her.

My memory goes back to that day, "Everything had happened so fast your Uncle Christopher had phoned me and told me to get my ass back to the apartment because you were coming".

"Where were you going?" she asks.

"Erm… I can't remember, oh yes I do… I was going to Vidal Manor to see how the work was progressing on it for its conversion into the New York Ella's Lodge, that is why your Uncle was in town, we were getting Ella's Lodge's off the ground at that time" I say.

Denise is looking up at me and hanging on my every word.

"I had barely arrived back at the apartment in time Christopher and Christian were both there and the look of sheer relief on their faces as I walked in through the door. But then Denise said there was something wrong and you were stuck, but eventually you were born and the paramedics arrived you had literally just arrived seconds before they did. They took you and checked you over and then put you in your mom's arms. I looked down at you and that moment I was besotted. Christian, Denise and Christopher left us alone and the paramedics busied themselves arranging to transfer you and your mom to the hospital. I was sitting on the bed beside your mom and she asked if I wanted to hold you. I did but I was absolutely terrified, I was scared I would hurt you but I took you and you were wriggling and you were screaming, but as I held you in my arms you started to quieten and you looked up at me. Your eyes were so blue that is the main thing I remember, I mean all babies' eyes are blue when they are first born but yours… yours were astonishingly blue. I was in awe of you. I was overwhelmed with emotion, I felt so protective towards you, and in those moments that we made eye contact I swore that nobody would ever harm you" I stop and swallow hard and shake my head sadly, "but I failed to keep that promise" I add quietly.

"No daddy, no, you have always done your best, it's not your fault. You have been the best dad in the world. I mean look at Pheebs and Uncle Christian, their relationship has been dodgy to say the very least, we have always understood each other and I think we have always had a good relationship and apart from the time where you got a bit lost after mom died I've always known that you have been there and would do whatever it took to keep me safe and that you would move heaven and earth to help me if I needed it… I'm sorry for what I did yesterday, I know I hurt you I have no idea what possessed me" she says and I hear her sob.

"Stop!" I say, "We are not discussing that now, this is about you and Bryon, and there will be plenty of time later to dissect and talk through everything that happened yesterday" I say firmly.

She nods at me and then she grips me again she looks up at me once more, "I need to push dad, I have this overwhelming urge to push" she says.

"Ok hang on" I say, I lean over and press the button and moments later Dr Henderson appears smiling.

"I feel like I really want to push" Denise says.

Dr Henderson examines Denise and tells her its time and that she is fully dilated. Denise looks up at me "Help me do this daddy" she says quietly and I see fear in her eyes for the first time.

"I'm right here sweetheart and I'm not going anywhere" I say firmly.

She nods and then she grips my hand. Dr Henderson tells her to push and my daughter presses her chin to her chest and she pushes for all she is worth. I encourage her and tell her she is doing great and she pushes again.

"Fuck this is hard work!" she gasps after a few moments.

I smile at her, "I know but you are doing so well" I say.

She pushes some more and Dr Henderson encourages her and also tells her she is doing well, after a few more pushes Denise looks up again.

"You know… I am thinking there is a serious design fault here!" she gasps as she pushes again.

Dr Henderson chuckles at this comment, "I know Denise, but you are coping very well with it, I can see the baby's head now" she says.

My daughter pushes for all she is worth again, and I feel her digging her nails into my hand. "I wish Josh was here" she says.

"I know, I know but you are doing so well, come on Denise, keep going" I say in what I hope is a reassuring voice.

"Ok Denise the baby's head is crowning now, so big push and we will have the head out, Denise pushes and then screams out.

"Well done Denise, the baby's head is out now, he is in a good position so we won't have any issues with him getting stuck I want you to push again so we can get his shoulders out, and then he will be here" Dr Henderson says.

I watch as Denise reaches down and touches her baby, "Byron" she whispers and I see the resolve in her face and she grips me and pushes once more, she screams out Josh's name as she finally pushes out her son.

"JOSH!" she screams and then closes her eyes. The tears start to fall as Byron takes his first breath and cries out, and as he is placed on her breast her arms instinctively go around her son and she opens her eyes and stares at him in silence. I feel as though I am close to tears as well and I desperately try and hold it together.

"You did it, I am so proud of you" I say as I push back her damp hair from her flushed face.

She isn't even listening to me. I watch as all her attention is focussed entirely on her son. She doesn't notice as Dr Henderson tells her the afterbirth has come away.

"Denise, would you like to cut the cord?" Dr Henderson asks her gently.

She looks up, this would have been Josh's moment, and she shakes her head. "Dad would you do it, you have been there for me my entire pregnancy, will you do this for your grandson?" she says.

I nod and hold out my hand for the offered scissors and then I cut the cord. Byron is gently removed from Denise's arms and taken to be checked over and weighed. Denise's eyes follow him and I am shocked as she tries to get up and move to follow him.

"Denise what the hell are you doing?" I say as I try and stop her getting up.

"My son" she says waving her hand towards him.

I roll my eyes and I gently push her back down into the bed, "Just stay there, I'll go with him" I say.

Dr Henderson cleans him up and I stand at her side watching. I look down at my grandson, he looks very much like Josh but I can also see Denise in him.

"Everything is absolutely fine, everything as it should be" she says reassuringly, "congratulations granddad, he is a very healthy little boy" she says with a smile, "and not to mention the fact that he is a little bruiser" Dr Henderson says as she places him in my arms. I glance at her questioningly. "He was 9 pounds exactly we said Denise was having a big baby but he was a whopper!" she says.

I walk over to Denise and hand Byron to her, "Did you hear that? Nine pounds, and all done without any pain relief!" I say.

"I want to try and feed him" Denise says looking up. Dr Henderson smiles and I excuse myself saying I will go and make some calls and inform the family of Byron's arrival.

I leave the room and reach for my phone, and make a number of calls.

I call the apartment first, and Josephine answers, "Hi baby" I say.

"Gideon, how's Denise?" she asks.

"She is a mother, Byron was born a few moments ago" I say.

"Oh my gosh, is she alright?" Josephine says.

"She is," I say proudly, "everything went well, it was a text book birth, no drama at all, it was a quick labour too, although it appears Denise had been in labour for at least a day but had disregarded it, she woke me at about 3:30 when her waters broke and it all proceeded quite quickly from there" I say .

"I'm glad she is alright, I'll tell Liv and Zoe – will it be ok to bring them in later to see her?" she asks.

"I don't see why not" I say.

We talk a few moments longer and then I make a few more calls, I call my father, Christian, Victor, Ireland, Christopher and after a moment's hesitation I call Monica. I keep the calls brief and to the point and they all offer their congratulations and best wishes. Then I stop and stare at my phone. Do I call Janice? I make the decision and I make the call hoping to god I am doing the right thing.

"Hello" she says as she answers.

"Janice its Gideon Cross" I say.

"Oh hello Gideon, how are you, how is Denise?" she asks.

"That's why I am calling, Denise gave birth this morning, little boy, and she has called him Byron. Byron Alexander Cross is his full name, he was born about half an hour ago, and he weighs 9 pounds they are both alright and doing well" I say.

"Oh I see, thank you for telling me… would it be alright for me to come and see them at some point?" she asks.

I hesitate, "I'll ask Denise it's her call, but I don't want Landon to know Byron is here. I don't want her upset, he has done enough damage already and the last thing she needs is him showing up and shovelling any more shit at her" I say.

"You have my word Gideon, I won't tell him and thank you for letting me know" she says sadly.

"Thank you" I say. I make excuses to end the call and knock on the door of Denise's room, I hear her say come in and I walk in and she gives me a beautiful genuine smile.

"Hi daddy, I have just fed my son, and he is asleep now" she says proudly looking down at the sleeping baby in her arms.

I smile at her and sit down beside her and look down at my grandson. "He is absolutely perfect" I say.

Denise's smile gets impossibly wider, "He is isn't he" she says.

**oooOOOooo**

I am sitting quietly holding my grandson in my arms, he is sleeping peacefully and I just sit staring at him, I am not alone it hasn't escaped my notice that hospital staff have been hovering and generally being around since he was born.

They are clearly not comfortable with the idea of Denise being alone with her son. I glance across at my daughter and she too is sleeping obviously exhausted after spending the majority of last night in labour and then giving birth, on top of everything else she has been through.

I go cold as I remember what we will now be facing. Her doctor had wanted to admit her to the psych ward but I had said no to that, but she is a minor and the fact remains that she tried to kill herself, so there will be repercussions from this. I have seen police officers around asking questions, I think out of courtesy for who I am and the fact my daughter has just given birth they are keeping a discreet distance for now but they will come and they will want to know what happened and I intend to make sure that fucking Landon gets the blame for this firmly placed on him.

I'm glad Christian, Ana and John are in New York. They came straight from the airport to see us last night and Grace too, I was surprised to see her but she knew I needed her. They didn't stay long but assured me they would be back today, and I know that we now inevitably face a massive fight because of what Denise did yesterday and so I am thankful they are here to support us.

I have also had a call from Dr Travis and he is coming in later too. Hopefully they will all be able to help me sort out this mess. Denise seems repentant and remorseful for what she did, but what she fails to realise is by doing what she did she has now facing the biggest fight of her life to prove that she is capable of taking care of herself and her son and won't be a danger or threat to him or herself. I worry about how she will cope with this as I am pretty sure she thinks that now Byron is here and she has apologised for what she did, everything will be fine and she will just go home and forget about it, but this is the real world and it just doesn't work that way.

It goes without saying that I will stand beside her and fight her corner as I always have and the fact we have extensive documented evidence proving that Landon's actions have been the main cause of her breakdown won't do any harm either, but even I realise my wealth and influence will only have so much sway as the main fact here is Denise is a minor, she was pregnant and she tried to kill herself and therefore by doing so she endangered her unborn sons life that is something which she is going to have to work hard to prove she isn't going to do again.

I take a sharp breath in as my grandson opens his eyes and yawns. I smile and offer him my finger as he stretches out his tiny hands. He grasps my finger with a vice like grip hanging on and I marvel at his strength. He looks at me and his eyes are the same startling blue as Denise's were when she was born, he may have his father's features but he has his mother's eyes... which are also my eyes. I gaze down at him he is very contented and oblivious to the turmoil which he has been born into and as I hold him I swear by everything that I have I will protect him and my daughter and fight until my last breath to have a positive outcome for everyone. I am distracted by the door opening. I look up and see Josephine I smile widely and she returns my smile her eyes fixing on Byron.

She steps inside and with her are Liv and Zoe, and Zoe squeals in delight at the sight of the baby.

"Oh my god he's tiny!" she squawks.

"Shhh, for god's sake keep it down Zoe, Denise is sleeping she is exhausted" I hiss and Zoe immediately quietens.

"Sorry" she whispers, but it's too late and Denise moves and stretches opening her eyes.

She looks around the room and smiles widely, "Hi" she says sleepily, "Sorry I fell asleep" she adds. Her attention immediately fixes on her son. "Is he alright?" she asks anxiously.

I nod, "He's absolutely fine, I have been having some quality time with him, you haven't missed anything, Josephine and your sisters have only just arrived" I say.

As I say this Byron starts whimpering and getting restless, Denise holds out her arms and I place her son into them, she places her hand on his behind and her nose wrinkles, "I think he has filled his diaper" she says. Josephine hands her a bag which she had with her with a smile.

"You will need this then" she says. Denise looks inside and smiles widely. It's a changing bag with spare diapers, and everything she needs to change her son. There is also a change of clothes and other bits and pieces.

She looks up at me, "How do I do this?" she asks. My mind goes back to changing dirty diapers and I smile. As I stand and go to help Denise the door opens again and Christian and Ana appear along with Grace. I see my reprieve and I quickly capitalise on it by calling Grace over.

"Mom come and meet your great grandchild" I say and I watch Grace make a beeline for the baby.

"He needs changing" Denise says.

Grace smiles as she takes Byron from Denise's arms, "he's beautiful Denise, come on lets go over here and clean him up and I'll help you and show you how to do it" Denise nods and follows Grace over to a small table. Once again I notice a nurse is lingering in the room watching what is happening, but keeping a discreet distance.

I watch as Grace patiently instructs Denise on diaper changing.

"Fuck me!" I hear Denise exclaim, quickly followed by a sincere apology and Grace laughs.

"Yes little boys have a nasty habit of doing that when you remove their diaper, as soon as the cold air hits their private parts it produces quite the fountain" she says.

I'm glad now I didn't help Denise with the diaper change; I have only had experience with girls so that would have caught me out too. I watch as Denise completes the change and Grace examines the dirty diaper and says everything looks normal. Then she takes Byron and gives him a thorough examination, Denise watches anxiously and her gaze flickers from Grace to her son and back again.

"Is he alright, is everything ok?" she asks nervously, "I didn't harm him did I when I...? "She stops and I see her eyes glisten with tears.

"No, he is absolutely perfect, he is a very healthy boy and a big boy too" she says. I watch Christian go towards his mother and stare at Byron.

"He's beautiful Denise" he says, "May I hold him?" he asks.

Denise nods, "Thank you Uncle Christian" she says. I watch my brother take Byron from his mother and hold him gently in his arms. Byron is still fussing a bit and Christian gently rocks him whilst talking to him.

"Hey there buddy, I'm your Uncle Christian, you have no idea at this moment but you have been born into the best family in the world. Your mommy loves you more than anything, your granddad… well he's a bit strange but he's a good guy" he looks at me and grins as he says this and I shake my head.

"You have lots of extended family who love you and will take care of you and protect you and this here is your great grandmother and she is a very wise woman and so you should listen to her ok, but at this moment I think the only person you want is your mommy isn't it champ, so I'm going to hand you over to her ok" and with that I watch Christian hand over Byron to Denise, she looks at Grace.

"Do you think he needs feeding again?" she asks.

"When did you feed him last?" she asks.

Denise looks at me, "about two hours ago" I say.

She looks at Grace again and Grace nods, "Most probably, he is a big boy so he will get hungry quickly and until you get into a routine with him he will be quite demanding.

Denise nods and reaches for a towel which she drapes over herself to give herself some privacy as she opens her shirt. Grace helps her get Byron to latch on and offers some practical advice. Everything is going well and Denise looks happy and proud of herself as she winds her son gently and he gives her a satisfied belch.

Liv and Zoe move forward and stare at their nephew and tell Denise how gorgeous he is. I see Liv staring at Denise's wrists and then Zoe asks about her bandaged wrists.

"What did you do to your wrists Dennie?" she asks pointing at them.

Denise goes red and she fidgets anxiously I can see her getting agitated and I quickly step in. "She accidentally hurt herself but it's nothing to worry about" I say.

This pacifies Zoe and she nods. Liv squeezes Denise's arm and Denise nudges her sister with her shoulder. As we think this awkward moment has passed the door opens and Denise's doctor enters with a female police officer at his side and two other women.

I freeze, but Ana and Grace immediately realise the implications of this intrusion and they take charge and shepherd Liv and Zoe from the room. Liv looks at me and reaches out to touch my hand as she passes and I squeeze her hand reassuringly in response.

Denise has gone quiet and she is holding her son tightly. Her arm wrapped protectively around him, her agitation is obvious and she is breathing heavily. Josephine sits down beside her to reassure her and I sit down on her other side. Christian has taken a defensive stance in front Denise and has his hands on his hips.

"What's going on why is there a cop here?" she asks me.

"It's ok sweetheart" I say gently.

Denise's doctor steps forward and crouches in front of her.

"Hello Denise, I'm Dr Gibson, when you were brought in I was put in charge of your care. This is Officer Timson she is here because of what happened yesterday and these ladies are from Child Protection Services. Now I don't want you to get upset or worried about this, but perhaps if you let us take your son so we can talk" he says.

"No, you're not taking my baby from me" Denise says immediately, the terror evident in her voice. "I didn't mean to do it, I wasn't thinking straight, I would never hurt him, he's my son and I love him" she rambles.

The two women from the CPS glance at each other knowingly and this clearly irritates my brother.

"Look can't you see you are distressing her" Christian explodes and I close my eyes the last thing we need is Christian losing it and alienating everyone.

"Bro, calm down he's just doing his job" I say warningly. "Denise, how about you give Byron to Josephine while you talk to the doctor and the police officer" I say gently.

Denise looks at me, "Will you be with me dad?" I nod, "and promise me they won't take him from me" she demands.

"You have my word Denise, we will all be here in this room so you can see him but give him to Josephine so you can talk to the doctor and police officer" I say.

I watch her think about it and then she reluctantly hands Byron over to Josephine. Then she stands and we walk over to the table and sit down. I sit beside her but she is clearly worried and keeps looking back towards Byron anxiously and in the end I ask her to stand up and I angle her chair so she can see Byron.

"Alright?" the doctor asks kindly.

Denise nods but doesn't say anything. Christian is pacing which isn't helping anyone, so I look up at him "Sit down bro" I say and he glares at me but does so.

I am noticing the notes that the CPS women are taking and I hope the Christian isn't alienating them, as we need them on side.

The doctor leans forward and speaks to Denise. "Denise why don't you tell us in your own words why you did what you did yesterday?" he asks kindly.

Denise looks at me and then stares down at her bandaged wrists. "I wasn't thinking straight, Landon had said things to me again and something kind of snapped and I thought I need to keep Byron safe from him and I thought if I died then we would be with Josh again and be safe from him and he wouldn't be able to take Byron from me. But I didn't mean to do it, all my thoughts were jumbled up and I wasn't thinking straight, I didn't mean to do it and I regret it now. I won't do it again" she stops and bursts into tears and my arms go around her and I offer her what comfort I can.

"Who is Landon Denise?" Officer Timson asks.

"Byron's grandfather, he is Josh's dad, and Josh... is... was... is Byron's father" she says crying even harder.

Officer Timson is scribbling and she looks at me questioningly.

"Do you want me to tell the Police Officer and your doctor everything?" I ask Denise and she nods at me.

I take a deep breath; this is my chance to put Denise's case. "Denise and Joshua Landon were dating, and things happened resulting in Denise getting pregnant with Byron. Right from the start Ryan Landon was whispering in Josh's ear about how he would be there for Josh and he questioned Denise's ability to be a mother, trying to put doubts in Josh's mind about her. It all came out that he was trying to use the baby as a tool to exact revenge on me for what happened to his father many years previously at the hands of Geoffrey Cross. He was looking for vengeance and a pound of Cross flesh and he didn't care who he hurt to achieve this.

Josh was appalled by this when he found out what his father was planning and he left home and moved in with us severing all contact with his father. Sadly a few months into the pregnancy Josh was killed in a car accident, a friend of Josh's who had an unhealthy obsession with him rammed the car Denise and Josh were riding in. Josh protected Denise with his own body and took the brunt of the impact and unfortunately it proved fatal. After that Ryan Landon stepped up his harassment of Denise, his guilt for never reconciling with his son before he died along with the grief of losing him seemed to unhinge him and made him a very angry man and he directed this anger on to Denise he persistently called and text her, he started appearing wherever she was and verbally abusing her, threatening her and telling her constantly that he would take her child from her, telling her she would be an unsuitable mother and basically stalking her. We did all we could, we kept a detailed record of everything that happened, we have audio recordings of interactions with Denise where Landon admitted what he was doing and why, and we had restraining orders put in place against him which he repeatedly violated. All this harassment took its toll on Denise and her mental health suffered as a result, she started self harming..." I stop as Denise interrupts.

"Daddy, please" she begs.

I squeeze her hand and look at her, "Trust me sweetheart" I whisper to her and she nods and grips my hand tightly and quietly sobs.

"I was so worried about her, so I brought in my therapist John Flynn who is based in Seattle and asked his advice and I also sought help from Dr Travis who is based in California who my late wife spoke very highly of and who has been assisting my brother and I at our California Ella's Lodge. We felt Denise needed to get away for a while and so I sent her to California to stay with Victor Reyes my late wife's father. He is police officer in San Diego and I knew she would be safe with him. However, Landon discovered she had gone to California and he followed her out there, accosting her in a public mall. Thankfully I had managed to alert Victor that Landon was on his way to California and he and his colleagues apprehended him. Denise made very good progress with Dr Travis and after a number of weeks made it clear she wanted to return to New York, as she didn't want to miss any more school.

She threw herself into her studies and she graduated high school early and is due to attend her graduation ceremony at the end of this month, and she is this year's valedictorian. I am incredibly proud of her and everything she has achieved. However, it was also around this time we discovered that my estranged mother was mixed up with Landon and helping him to continue to gain access to Denise. Denise decided she wanted to confront my mother about this, and there is no love lost between them, after she had previously confronted Denise shortly after her mother died and proceeded to bad mouth Eva to her and her sister - long story!" I say at the incredulous looks I am getting from the police officer who is struggling to keep up with the notes she is taking.

"Anyway, when the pressure and focus of school was no longer there and after the confrontation with my mother she appeared to slide into a depression. I tried to help her, I contacted Dr Travis and he said he too was worried about her as she had stopped Skyping him. I tried to encourage her to join in with the family and then yesterday I decided to take my family out for a meal to celebrate the fact Denise had been named as this year's valedictorian and as we were leaving Landon was arriving with my mother and he once again he hurled abuse at Denise and it was at that point after months of sustained abuse from him that she finally reached her breaking point and snapped" I stop and looking at Denise I think for a moment before I continue.

"Denise has been through so much she is an incredibly strong person. She lost her mother at the age of 12 and while I completely fell apart she took on the role of mother to her two younger sisters and put aside her own grief to be there for them and for me. I'm not proud of myself for not being there for my daughters and for abdicating my responsibility to Denise, during this period but when I did eventually pull myself together and was made aware of my failings. I have worked tirelessly to be the father she and her sisters deserve. She then lost her best friend. A girl who she was incredibly close to, from a very young age. She was raped by her boyfriend and subsequently committed suicide and then she lost Josh in a car accident. Incidentally all these incidents are a matter of public record and accounts can be verified by my team as well as records I'm sure the police department hold. We can also prove that there are also links to Helen Ellis, aka. Sybil Hanson, aka. Elena Lincoln who is currently in jail in Washington State as she has held a long standing vendetta against me and my brother for putting her away, and we can prove that the boy behind the car accident was also linked to her and her vendetta.

I have tried my best to support Denise and although I failed her as a father when her mother died and I was wallowing in my own grief, as soon as it was pointed out to me that I was failing I got my act together and I have done everything humanly possible to support and protect Denise through everything that has happened since. I called in Dr Flynn and Dr Travis and they both flew to New York and I'm sure they will make themselves available to you, and offer more detail into her case" I stop speaking and look at the doctor and police officer who are staring at me their mouth's wide open. The two CPS women are still making rapid notes but they too look shocked and I'm not sure whether this is a good or bad thing.

The doctor recovers first, "You have had quite a time Denise, and it has been for quite a considerable period… how old are you now?" he says.

"Nearly 17" Denise replies.

"You have been dealing with a series of serious issues and a chain of loss and grief – including your own mother for nearly five years, I can certainly see how we have now reached the point we are now at, and I'm just surprised it didn't happen sooner" Dr Gibson says.

Denise nods, "I suppose I have, when I hear it all laid out like that it sounds horrific, but at the time I just got on with it" she says with a shrug.

"Well as I say it's no wonder you finally snapped" the doctor says kindly.

We watch as Officer Timson leans forward, "Can you give the name of members of your team I can contact to corroborate all this information you have provided?" she asks.

"Yes Raul Huerta, my head of security" I say.

"You can also contact my head of security Jason Taylor, he has information regarding Elena's activities to corroborate her part in all this" Christian says speaking for the first time.

Officer Timson nods, "Thank you Mr Grey" she says politely as she makes a note. Then she turns her attention back to Denise.

"Can you explain to me why you did what you did Denise and was anyone else involved?" she asks sharply and I immediately bristle at her tone.

Denise looks helplessly at me and shakes her head, "No I can't" she says quietly, "I wasn't thinking clearly and no I was alone in my room" she adds.

"But surely you must have some idea why..?" Officer Timson persists, but she is interrupted by Josephine.

I watch Josephine stand and she hands Byron to Christian and step forward and she wraps her arms around Denise.

"Excuse me officer Timson, have you any personal experience of mental health issues?" She asks mildly.

"No" the officer snorts almost with note of disgust in her voice and Josephine stiffens.

"I thought not, as your lack of compassion is staggering. You are treating Denise like a criminal, which she is most definitely not. She is ill, and you badgering her and demanding answers to questions which she is unable to answer are not going to help. The problem is people who haven't experienced mental health problems like depression and anxiety have no idea what it is like. They have no idea how the person suffering is thinking, and so they judge and they make assumptions. Denise is telling you as clearly as she can what was going through her mind. She said she wasn't thinking clearly, she is saying that because now in the cold light of day she realises what she did was a huge mistake, but at that moment in time, to her that seemed to be the right thing to do and she wasn't thinking clearly because she is ill. Now her main concern is the fear that Ryan Landon put into her head that her son is going to be taken from her will happen because she made that mistake, and you interrogating her isn't going help her mental state any at all". Josephine stops and glares at the stunned officer. She turns her attention to the doctor, "and you Dr Gibson, as a professional in this field, surely you realise that her attitude isn't helping anyone" she says.

The doctor has the grace to look uncomfortable at her words. I watch the CPS women who are yet to say a word watch Josephine carefully and make more notes.

"Look I am just here to establish the facts and to make sure no foul play is apparent" the police officer insists coldly.

Josephine goes to respond again when one of the CPS women stands and speaks gently. "Hello I am Maureen Blythe and this is my colleague Greta Boyd, I understand your concerns but what we have to determine is, is she capable of taking care of the child and if she poses a risk to him".

Denise immediately looks horrified, "I would never hurt him, I love him" she sobs and looks frantically towards her son who is sleeping peacefully in Christians arms.

I step in quickly before Denise gets more upset. "She has an extensive support network around her, she has me, she has Josephine, I have flown in Dr Travis and Dr Flynn to assist and I will do whatever I can to help my daughter and I assure you that she is no risk to her son, she loves him with all her heart" I stop.

Christian stands up and walks forward holding Byron and hands him to Denise who wraps her arms around him protectively, the CPS women take close notice of the way Denise immediately calms as she holds her son.

"My mother – Dr Grace Trevelyan Grey has offered to stay in New York as long as it takes to support Denise. She said she will stay and help her with the demands of motherhood. She is an experienced paediatrician not to mention a wonderful mother to myself and Gideon" he stops and glares at Officer Timson and the two CPS women.

"Dr Trevelyan Grey isn't Mr Cross's mother?" Officer Timson says in confusion.

I lean forward, "She has no biological link to my brother either as she is his adopted mother, but she is the epitome of what a mother should be and is, and she has been more of a mother to me than my own mother ever has been, and I consider her my mother and Denise has always looked upon her as her grandmother" I snap, as this police officer is beginning to severely piss me off.

Officer Timson looks like her head is going to explode as she tries to piece everything together. Dr Gibson steps in.

"Look, I think we have a good understanding of the background to this rather complex case now, we will need to talk to Dr Flynn and Dr Travis and while Denise is here in our care we will be able to evaluate her and observe her interactions with Byron".

I sigh and rub my eyes. "Alright" I say slightly resigned. I am confident that being open and honest is the way to go and I am just banking on evidence we have for all the shit that has happened will have some bearing on what happens. For now though I am not moving from this hospital as at this moment I'm not convinced that they don't want to remove Byron from Denise.


	36. Chapter 36

CHAPTER 36

The day continues and I am more than a little on edge. Dr Travis and Dr Flynn are questioned thoroughly and they co-operate fully giving full disclosure on the causes behind Denise's breakdown and the treatment she has received from them. After discussing it with Denise and getting her permission after I explained that honesty was the way to go, I told Travis and John to tell the authorities everything in the hopes that it would work in our favour and help our case. I was also touched to learn that they had both taken the opportunity to speak up for Denise and stated that in their professional opinion they didn't believe that she is a danger to her son, and I am more than grateful for their input and support. Since he arrived Dr Travis has had a long session with Denise and he saw firsthand how protective she is over Byron, refusing to let him out of her sight while she talked with him.

Since the interview with the CPS and the police this morning I have noticed that there has been a hospital employee constantly present observing Denise and following her around, I have not commented on this but I am sure that she is observing and reporting on Denise's interaction with Byron.

I get a call from Raul mid afternoon and he tells me he has been questioned extensively about everything I told them and that he has cooperated fully handing over all the evidence we have on Landon and the other situations which were covered regarding Elena and Mike not to mention Mike's fucked up family. I also get a text from Jason and he tells me the same thing, he tells me he has co-operated but stated that obviously he cannot reveal the evidence we uncovered covertly from the prison regarding Sybil.

At this moment I am sitting talking with John and he is trying to counsel me on my emotions and feeling towards everything that has happened. Grace is with Denise and we are expecting the CPS women to return with their conclusions and recommendations soon.

"How are you handling all this Gideon?" John asks me.

I shake my head, "I'm not thinking about me at the moment John, my focus is on my daughter and my grandson, I have a feeling those bastards from Child Protection Services want to take Byron away from her and if they do that it will kill her, they may as well hand her a knife and tell her to get on with it" I say.

John looks at me in surprise, "Do you really believe that?" John asks.

I sigh and shake my head again, "I have no fucking idea John, if you had asked me before all this if my daughter was capable of killing herself I would have said no absolutely not, especially after the way she reacted to Jenny's death… but she did. But I know in my gut she won't harm Byron, as soon as she came round after they had fixed her up her first coherent thoughts were of him. Her hand went straight to her stomach and the look of relief on her face when she realised that she hadn't lost him, so she wouldn't John she just wouldn't hurt him".

John nods, "If it's any consolation I told them the same thing and so has Travis and I also believe Grace has made her feelings and opinions known on this too, and I will say she also questioned whether or not it would be in Byron's best interests to be parted from his mother as Denise is nursing him and doing a good job by all accounts, so both Travis and I are reluctant to prescribe medication at this point. Travis believes she can be brought back with just therapy, he doesn't believe in medication at all, except only in the most extreme of cases and he believes that her son could prove to be a positive factor in her recovery. It's just a case of telling the powers that be that, all they can see is young girl who is mentally unstable and who tried to kill herself and her unborn child, hopefully the fact we have all been totally honest and co-operative with them and provided more information than they really know what to do with will work in our favour".

He pauses and looks hard at me, "just one thing Gideon, please don't be tempted to try and bribe anyone to get the outcome you want, I have already warned Christian about this and I don't have to tell you it wouldn't be a good idea to throw your weight or your money about over this, you need to work with these people or I'm afraid they could and will take Byron away" he stops speaking gives me a hard questioning look.

I nod in agreement but I already knew that much and wasn't even thinking trying a move like that. I just want to know what they are going to do.

"Level with me John, what do you think they will do?" I ask.

He sighs "I have no idea, but I think they will insist on her staying under hospital supervision for at least 14 days for a full psyche evaluation at the very least, there is a significant amount of mitigating circumstances which show _why_ Denise was feeling like she was, and the fact you are aware of her problems and have been totally supportive of her for a significant period of time by seeking and providing help for her can't be viewed as anything but positive not to mention the fact that the support network she has around her is exceptional. However, the fact she stopped her therapy sessions with Travis doesn't look good, we could argue that she had finished school and was taking a break and chilling out but we both know that as soon as she finished school was when she started to slide, so in my honest opinion it could go either way. I think it will also be a given that she is only allowed supervised access to Byron for the time she is under evaluation but I really don't believe that they will put Byron into foster care, as Denise's support network is just too good, and these people always try and place a child with family first in these circumstances and besides I don't think you or Christian would allow that to happen – would you?" he says.

I shake my head, "No, he belongs with his mother, but failing that he stays within the family… Landon won't get any say will he?" I ask suddenly.

John shakes his head, "No, not with all the evidence stacked against him detailing his erratic and disturbing behaviour, not to mention the fact he has violated several restraining orders. It is highly unlikely he will be allowed anywhere near Byron as he is considered a bigger threat to him than Denise at the moment. There is another factor to also consider… your own mother is involved with Landon especially considering the various altercations she has had with Denise, so that could be a worry for them, but then again you have made it clear you are estranged from her. If they do opt to take Byron away my bet would be they would approach Grace, she is family and she is also a qualified health professional and there is the fact she has raised three children who she adopted personally all of whom have made huge successes of their lives. I have talked to Grace about this and she said if they do decide to do that she will stay in New York for the duration so Denise can have unlimited access to Byron".

"Shit John it's all a fucking mess" I say and I rub my face with my hands.

I finish my session with John and we return to Denise's room, she is sitting with Grace and Byron and Grace is showing Denise how to bath her son. I notice the nurse in the corner watching closely and taking notes she looks at me and smiles at me as I walk in with John. Dr Travis is also observing Denise and her interactions with Byron and he nods at me.

Denise looks up, "Hi daddy, Grace is showing me how to bath Byron" she says unnecessarily.

I smile at her, and look down at my grandson who is kicking wildly in the water. "He seems to like it" I say.

Denise lets out a small snort of laughter, "He does now, but he screamed blue murder when we first put him in" she says. She turns her attention to Grace, "I don't want him to get cold and we have washed him thoroughly so should we get him out now?" she asks anxiously, and once again I see the nurse making notes.

Grace nods and Denise carefully lifts her son out on to a waiting towel and wraps him in it, gently drying him. She is talking to him and behaving like a loving mother, she keeps looking to Grace for reassurance and checking she is doing things right and she asks intelligent questions about the cord wound and is anxiously checking that everything is as it should be and Grace patiently explains and reassures her. I watch as Grace moves the bath away as Denise carefully dresses Byron and then puts him to her breast again.

"Well done Denise you are a natural" Grace says kindly and I watch my daughter flush with pride. She looks up at me and after a glance at the nurse her smile fades.

"I know why she is here… she is watching me to make sure I don't hurt Byron, I'm not allowed to be left alone with him" she says sadly, she looks up at me and I can see the fear in her eyes, "are they going to take him away from me?" she asks and I hear the very real despair in her voice.

I crouch down in front of her and I stroke Byron's head, "I honestly don't know sweetheart, we are all doing everything we possibly can to try and prevent that from happening but I just don't know, but I promise you I will do everything I can to try to prevent it" I say.

"They won't give him to Ryan Landon will they?" she asks.

I shake my head adamantly "Over my dead body will they give him Landon" I say coldly.

A few moments later the door opens and Raul, Taylor and Christian appear. Paul is also here much to my surprise and he is carrying a small bunch of flowers. I smile at him as he walks over to Denise and greets her.

"Hi, I got you these. I thought, well... you know, when my sister had a baby everyone bought her flowers" he says.

Denise smiles at him and thanks him politely.

"May I ask, why the group visit?" I ask as I look around everyone in turn.

Christian sighs, "I got a call from the CPS as we are considered part of Denise's support network we are all requested here for their verdict. Josephine is on her way up too, she had a small issue with Zoe wanting to come which why she is delayed" he says.

I feel guilty, I have left Josephine alone and she is having to deal with my daughters and everything and now she is being dragged into this. As I am thinking this the door opens and she appears she gifts me one of her wonderful smiles and then goes to sit down next to Denise. I watch her interaction with Denise and Byron and I know instinctively she will do whatever it takes to keep Byron with Denise as well.

Eventually the two women from the CPS arrive and they look taken aback by the amount of people squeezed into the small room, I look at them with a slightly satisfied feeling. Yeah look at all these people prepared to help Denise, and this isn't everyone!

I stand and offer my hand in greeting and the two women sit down and proceed to open a file.

"Ok then we all know why we are all here, we are just going to wait for Dr Gibson to arrive and then we can proceed" the woman I remember as Maureen Blythe says.

I watch as Denise instinctively pulls Byron closer and moves away from the two women, both Grace and Josephine reach for her to offer her comfort and reassurance. Dr Gibson arrives and Greta Boyd starts to speak.

"Alright then, good. First of all the Police department are satisfied that there was no crime committed and that all the injuries incurred were self inflicted by Denise. Both Officer Timson and Dr Gibson have given us detailed reports of the issues and circumstances which have lead up to this unfortunate situation and which in everyone's opinion played a significant part in this series of events. I have to say never in all my years have I been presented with so many mitigating circumstances as to why a suicide attempt took place and personally speaking I am surprised it took so long for Denise to reach the point of desperation she did. We agree that Ryan Landon is a significant triggering factor for the way Denise is feeling and it is our strong recommendation that he should be placed on a proscribed list and should not have any access or contact with either Denise or with Byron. Officer Timson is dealing with the legalities of that as we speak. We have also listened to Dr Travis and Dr Flynn who have fully co-operated with our enquiry and who both speak very highly of Denise and they both have commented on what a strong character she is and how things must have been really bad for her to have reached this level and they both believe this crisis was a culmination of years of stress and was – not to over simplify, a momentary lapse of judgement. However, we are concerned that Denise stopped her therapy sessions with Dr Travis before the incident in question" she looks at Denise.

"Can you explain why you did that Denise?" she asks gently.

Denise shakes her head, "No I can't, after I finished school and all that pressure of my exams and graduating was out of the way, and not keeping me busy and focussed I felt kind of empty. I also had a run in with Elizabeth Vidal around this time and I think that kind of got to me more than I would like to admit. I just lost focus and I just kind of lost interest in everything around me" she says quietly.

The woman nods and continues to speak. "So it would appear that what you have just said corresponds with the diagnosis of depression in line with what we were told by Dr Travis and Dr Flynn. Also in line with what you have said, and the evidence we have received from your security officers it is our recommendation that Elizabeth Vidal also be placed on the proscribed list and should not have any access or contact with Denise and Byron".

"That's fine by me" I mutter under my breath.

"So taking into account all the evidence, we believe what occurred was a culmination of everything that had happened to her personally and around her going back to the death of her mother when she was only twelve years old. It is our strong belief that she suffered a crisis and a complete mental breakdown resulting in the misplaced notion that she and Byron would be safer and secure from the unwanted attention of this Ryan Landon character if they were both dead. Denise has expressed her sincere regret for this and has assured us that she no longer feels this is the case. However, it would be negligent of us to just take her word for it at this stage and we have requested that Denise is kept in hospital until a comprehensive psychological review can be undertaken and with the help of her existing therapists a firm structure for her recovery can be implemented. While this is happening we feel it is prudent to place Byron in the care of Dr Grace Trevelyan Grey who has volunteered to remain in New York to assist Denise with her recovery and support her in her role as a young mother. Denise you are permitted to have supervised access to Byron, as we have been informed that you are nursing him and this appears to have had a positive effect on you and we obviously want to encourage that bond with your son as our aim is for you to eventually be a full time carer for him when we are satisfied that you are safe and capable to do so. However, it is our recommendation that Denise and Byron should _not_ be left alone together at this point in time and Denise should also be under close observation when she isn't with her son. We will review this again in 14 days as by that time the psychological evaluation should be complete and we will be able to take that into account along with the recommendations by the health professionals here who will be observing Denise when she is with her son and when she is alone.

The woman stops speaking and the silence which follows is deafening it is finally shattered by Denise's heartbreaking sobs.

"You are taking my son away from me" she gasps and scrambles to move away with Byron.

Grace immediately wraps her arm around her and comforts her.

"Denise darling, listen to me and please calm down nobody is taking him away from you. He has temporarily been placed into my care, do you trust me to take care of Byron?" she asks gently and Denise nods slowly. "That's good, now you have to stay here in hospital and get well and while you are doing that I will be here helping you take care of Byron, I promise you that I will be here in New York so you will see him every day, and he stays here in hospital with you" she says adamantly.

"Dr Trevelyan Grey I..." Greta Boyd insists.

Grace levels a chilling glare at the woman, "Ms Boyd, I am a paediatrician a trained professional who specialises in the welfare of babies and children and it is my professional opinion that Byron Cross will thrive with the contact, love and nourishment from his mother. He is a newborn baby and as such he _needs_ his mother, and it is imperative for his development and well being that he isn't denied that link. I am sure as you have the best interests of the child in mind you would agree with me," she says.

Greta Boyd flushes at Graces words, "If that is the case then I have to insist as Byron's temporary guardian and principal carer you are consistently and continually present if Denise has that sort of access to the child" she says haughtily.

"Fine" Grace retorts.

Greta Boyd's eyes widen and she purses her lips, unable to say anything.

I hide my smile and glance at Christian who is openly beaming at Grace. Grace has found a loophole and is making sure that Denise and Byron aren't separated as much as they would have been under these circumstances. I watch in awe as Dr Travis steps in to speak.

"If I may interject at this point, I have been observing Denise this afternoon with Byron and I feel it is not only in Byron's best interest but also Denise's that she has substantial access to the child, having watched Denise interact with the child I believe she poses no credible threat to him. Her demeanour and actions are that of a loving but admittedly inexperienced mother. Her maternal instincts are very strong and his presence has a significant positive effect on Denise's demeanour and mental wellbeing as she displays a calmness and positivity when he is in her presence and so I would strongly urge Ms Boyd and Ms Blythe to reconsider their recommendations".

I watch the two women conferring and I hold my breath, eventually Maureen Blythe speaks, "the recommendations stand, this gives us time to get a realistic review on Denise and how she is progressing and responding to treatment".

Denise looks at Grace questioningly, and Grace smiles.

"Byron is in my care but you can see him as much as you want to as long as I am here with you, but if I leave the hospital Byron has to come with me. Ryan Landon and Elizabeth Vidal are not allowed to have any contact with him or you and while you are here in hospital you need to continue with your therapy" she says.

Denise nods, "Ok" she says, "So they are not taking Byron away from me?" she asks.

Grace pauses, "Byron is your son, but for the time being they are putting him in my care" she says diplomatically.

Denise nods and turns to the women, "I wouldn't hurt him, I was mortified when I came round and realised what I had done and my first thoughts were of him, all I ever wanted to do was protect him. Protect him from Ryan Landon and because I wasn't well my thoughts just all got a bit mixed up" she says firmly.

"We understand that" Maureen Blythe says kindly, "We just want to ensure that your thoughts don't get mixed up again now Byron is here" she adds.

**(DENISE)**

What the hell have I done? I sit here and look around the room, almost everyone is here Uncle Christian, Jason, Raul, Paul, my dad and Grandma Grace. Dr Travis and Dr Flynn are also here and they are all here for me, to help me. I can't believe that I was so damn stupid, what the hell possessed me to try and kill myself?

I have very little memory now of what I actually did, but from what I do remember it seemed to be the best idea in the world at the time. Now though I know it was far from it and my actions could result in my deepest fear being realised, they could take my son away from me. The very reason I did what I did albeit now I realise that it was a totally idiotic thing to do. In my mind I did it to prevent that happening and because of what I did, it could be a self fulfilling prophecy, I am so confused.

I look down at the sleeping baby in my arms, he is my life now. He is my reason to get well and live, and I will do whatever it takes to put right what my stupidity made wrong. When I feed him and care for him it gives me a sense of purpose and worth and it calms me and stops me feeling so agitated.

I know that am being watched, it hasn't escaped my notice that I'm under constant observation, after I had Byron my dad was with me but nurses kept coming in and hanging around and then when we came back to my room a nurse has been hovering and then since that doctor and those women from Child Protection and that cop were here I have had a nurse permanently stationed in my room watching my every move and making notes on everything I do. This must be part of that psychological evaluation that they were talking about.

My grandma has been with me though and she has been helping me which has helped me take my mind off the fact they think I'm going to hurt Byron, but it scares me that they think I could hurt him. I try and look at it logically, all they see is me. I came in very pregnant and I had slashed wrists I mean it doesn't look good. I have tried repeatedly to say it was a mistake but they don't know me they don't know I didn't mean it and they want Byron to be safe and I get that but on the other hand I feel such a failure as a human being and so stupid that I put myself and my son in this situation.

I have listened to what those women want, I thought they wanted to take Byron away but grandma explained that he is being put in her care and she is going to make sure I get to see him as much as I want to. I am relieved about that, but I can't help but feel a little guilty too. I mean grandma's life is in Seattle and she has put that life on hold because of me. I need to talk to her about that and make sure she is really ok with it. I also wonder about Uncle Christian and Aunty Ana being here, I bet Phoebe is wondering why she has been left behind and forgotten about, I know her relationship with Uncle Christian is rocky to say the least, she is bound to feel at least a little resentment at the fact he has once again dropped everything and flown across the country to be with dad and me.

Then there is Josephine, she doesn't need any of this. Dad will refuse to leave me and that is bound to put a strain on their relationship, I mean dad hasn't left my side since I came in and that means Josephine is on her own lumbered with Liv and Zoe. Liv is ok but Zoe can be a handful at times, I have a lot of apologising to do for all the trouble I have caused.

One thing I am grateful and relieved about is the fact they know all about Landon and believe that he is a fucking menace. They said he isn't to have any access or contact with me or Byron and I am so happy and relieved about that I could cry. I watch as Uncle Christian, Jason, Raul and Paul leave. They all say goodbye to me and Uncle Christian kisses my head and strokes Byron's head before he leaves. I look at Dr Travis; I want to talk all these thoughts I am having through with him. He is another one, he has dropped everything and flown to New York when he has a job to do in California, I have messed up everyone's lives because of my own stupidity.

"Denise, are you alright?" Dr Travis is looking at me carefully and I realise I am rocking.

I look at him and everything feels like its crashing down on me and a dam bursts, I can't hold it in any more, tears start to fall and I shake my head vigorously.

"No" I manage to croak out, as I hold my son close to me.

"Come on sweetheart, let me take Byron and you talk to Dr Travis" Grace says firmly. I relinquish my hold on my son and watch Grace take him from the room as I watch them leave my heart starts to race and I panic.

"NO, PLEASE!" I scream and the tears come even faster, it feels that my son is the only thing keeping me sane.

I feel my dad wrap his arms around me and try to console me, I glance at the nurse who is scribbling and I feel a sudden irrational anger towards her.

"What are you saying about me? Are you telling them that I shouldn't be near my son?" I scream. The nurse says nothing but just looks at me sympathetically.

I feel my legs give way and my dad sweeps me up into his arms and he sits down on the bed holding me tightly in his lap.

"I'm sorry dad, I'm so, so sorry" I moan. "I have caused you so much trouble, everyone is going to hate me because of this" I sob.

"What makes you think that Denise?" Dr Travis says gently.

I sniff loudly and try to articulate all the thoughts going through my mind, "Because of what I did, because of my moment of mindless moronic stupidity everyone around me is now suffering. Liv and Zoe are stuck at home without dad; Josephine is lumbered with the task of taking care of them on her own while dad is stuck here with me. That is bound to put a strain on their relationship they don't need it and Zoe and Liv need dad too and he is stuck here with me and neglecting them, because of me" I watch as my dad shakes his head but I continue spewing out everything that is going through my mind.

"Uncle Christian and Aunty Ana came from Seattle, so I bet Phoebe is feeling pretty abandoned at the moment. You and John have your work in Seattle and California but you are here instead, having to deal with me… and Grandma, I mean her life has been put on hold because of what I did. Her life is in Seattle but she is here and she is trapped here because she has to be here just so I can see my son. I have messed up everyone's lives and then there is Byron I could have hurt him when I fucked up so spectacularly anything could have happened, and now he can't even be with me without someone being there to check I don't hurt him, what kind of mother can I be to him if I am not even allowed to be on my own with him? I have ruined everything I am so sorry for all the trouble I have caused".

I finish my rambling and stop I am breathing heavily and my dad doesn't say a word he just holds me even closer, he is holding me so tightly I can barely breathe but the restriction feels comforting and I start to calm down. I close my eyes and cling his shirt like I used to when I was a little girl and I slowly calm down, my heart stops racing and my breathing comes under control but the tears won't stop falling.

"Denise, look at me" my dad says. His voice is quiet, hoarse and filled with emotion.

I lift my head and my eyes meet his, the exact shade of blue as mine and at this moment they are filled with... love. I gasp as I had expected pain and disappointment.

My father brushes my hair from my face and touches my cheek with his fingers, "Denise, you are my daughter, you are struggling and hurting and in a bad place at the moment so my place is by your side to try and help you, help you to stop the hurting and help you get out of that bad place you are currently in. Your sisters and Josephine understand that and they accept it because they also love you. Uncle Christian, Aunt Ana and Grace are all here because they want to help, because they love you. Grace is stepping in to care for Byron because she loves you and she wants to do it, nobody is here under duress and nobody is trapped here against their will. Everyone is here because they _want _to be here".

He stops speaking and I think about what he has said.

"How does that make you feel Denise?" Dr Travis asks me gently.

I shake my head, "I don't know, not worthy" I say quietly.

"Why don't you feel worthy Denise?" he asks.

"Because I was stupid and I brought it all on myself. I stopped my therapy sessions and I let Landon and Elizabeth get to me" I say.

"Denise you are human, you are not infallible. Everyone has a breaking point, and you have just reached yours and it is a testament to your strength that your breaking point is only happening now when really it would have been expected long before now. You have had many wobbles in the past which we dealt with at the time, where we assumed you had reached your breaking point but you hadn't, but now you have and this is a good thing as you can only start to rebuild once you have hit rock bottom. But for you to rebuild you have to realise a few things about yourself, you are an incredible young woman Denise, just look at what you have accomplished" he stops and I think.

I snort derisively, "I failed to listen to a doctor properly and got myself pregnant and then close to giving birth decided it would be a good idea to try and off myself and my son, yeah I've accomplished loads!" I say sarcastically.

Dr Travis smiles, "Denise, I'm talking about what you have accomplished not what mistakes you've made. Your mom died when you were just 12 years old, what happened when your mom died Denise do you remember what we talked about, back in California?" he urges.

I nod but don't speak.

Dr Travis waits for me to say something but when it becomes obvious I'm not going to say anything he starts to talk.

"Going right back to where I think everything started to unravel for you. Do you remember how you told me how worried you were about your dad back when your mom died? How he fell apart the day after your mom passed away and how you were afraid because you had never seen him behave like that, he had always been the strong dependable dad who knew exactly what to do in a time of crisis and all of a sudden he wasn't there". I feel my dad stiffen at this and I stroke his arm reassuringly.

Dr Travis continues to remind me of our previous therapy sessions where I told of that time in my life. "You told me that he wouldn't come out of his room, you tried to get him to come out, but he didn't, so you called your grandfather, uncle and aunt and they came to the house and they tried. When it became apparent he still wasn't responding you took it upon yourself to call your other uncle, because you knew that if anyone could get through to your dad it would be him, and it worked didn't it?" he says.

I nod but still don't say anything.

"Then you told me how that night after you had succeeded in getting your dad out of his room and back with the family you made dinner for your family that night. Do you remember? You told me you made your mom's spaghetti bolognaise for everyone, then you helped your dad organise the funeral. You gave your input and advised him on the best things to do. You took that role because your dad was, at that point unable to; at just twelve years old you stepped up and took charge of a very upsetting situation". I nod again, but remain silent.

"But then shortly after your mom died your grandmother who you didn't even know came on the scene, and made some derogatory comments about your mother, which were understandably very distressing for you. Now you didn't take it lying down did you Denise, you confronted her and in the process of doing that you found out some pretty disturbing things about your dad's past, and you supported him again when he discovered what his own mother had done. Your dad struggled to come to terms with your mother's death and what did you do? You stepped up and you took on the role of mom to your sisters making sure they were ok and all was good in their lives, you put your own feelings and grief aside for everyone in your family. You were their rock weren't you, you told me that is what Liv and your father said to you a few times during that period, that you were their rock and just remember you did all that at just twelve years of age, which I think is incredible". He pauses and smiles at me.

"Moving on a few years, you find love but things happen and circumstances happen and your friend Jenny goes through a heinous experience and what did you do? You become her rock you help her get away from the boy who was controlling her and who had raped her and you encouraged her to tell her family. Sadly she never recovered from her experiences and due other circumstances going on in her life she was in such a bad place that she took her own life but we established that none of what had happened to Jenny was your fault and that you did your best for your friend, you did all you could to help her. You helped your uncle and your cousin get their relationship back on track, you stood up to your uncle which quite frankly is something not many people would have or have had the nerve to do" he pauses and smiles at this.

"You confronted a paedophile who was trying to destroy your father and uncle, you have had an ongoing conflict with Josh's father which has been established as being incredibly damaging to you, but you still didn't give up. You lost your boyfriend – the love of your life and the father of your baby in dreadful circumstances, and you find out your own grandmother has betrayed you by helping your boyfriend's father pursue his own vindictive agenda against you. Denise you have dealt with more pain, death and suffering in the space of the past few years than is comprehensible to many people but you have been strong for everyone around you and you carried on regardless, and not only carried on but despite all the crap Landon was shovelling your way, and the fact you were heavily pregnant and dealing with that pregnancy alone whilst grieving for your boyfriend, you also graduated High School two years early, and are this year's valedictorian that in itself is just outstanding and awe inspiring, but that sort of strength comes at a price. When you have been strong for so long and when your mind finally says enough is enough I can't take any more, the repercussions are inevitably going to be huge and that is what has happened to you, but now it's your turn Denise. It's your turn to lean on others instead of taking on the entire burden yourself. All the people you have been strong for now want to help you and they want to be strong for you so let them. Nobody is blaming you Denise, nobody is judging you. Well one person is judging you and condemning you - only one and who is that person?" he asks.

I look him in the eye, "Me" I say quietly.

Dr Travis nods and smiles at me, "You, so tell me again Denise what have you accomplished? When you listen to what I have just said, about everything that you have done over the past five years and everything you have been through what you have accomplished how does that make you feel?" he asks.

I shrug, "I don't know" I say.

"Well I think you should feel damn proud of the person that you are" he says.

I rest my head on my father's chest and I can hear his steady heartbeat and it comforts me. "I never really thought about it like that" I say.

"Well you should" he says.

I sit up, "I want my son" I say firmly and wipe my eyes. Dr Travis leaves the room and moments later returns with Grace who is holding Byron who is starting to cry and she is smiling widely.

"Excellent timing as he needs changing, just this moment he has filled his diaper, are you going to change him?" she asks as she hands him to me.

I nod and reach for the changing bag and quickly tend to my son. I talk to him and tell him I will make him feel better and as I do so it hits me, he needs me and I am caring for him and protecting him, just as I took on the carer role for my father and my sisters when mom died. How I took care of Jenny when she was dealing with Mike, how I helped Uncle Christian and Phoebe sort out their relationship and the role of protector when I confronted my grandmother, Mike, Sybil, and Josh's dad. This is my comfort zone I am happiest when I am caring for and protecting people and because I was wasn't feeling myself my protective instinct mutated and became something destructive.

I pull my son towards me and he starts rooting at my breast so I quickly undo my shirt and offer it to him, I look up at Dr Travis, and I voice the epiphany I have just had and he nods and smiles.

"So what does that tell you Denise, what do you have to do?" he pushes.

I glance down at my son, "I need to focus on getting myself well and strong so I can fulfil my role as carer and protector of my son. I need to realise that I am not a worthless mess and that I have accomplished so much and the people around me are here because they want to be and I need to accept their help and lean on them" I say.

Dr Travis grins at me, "I couldn't have put it better myself!" he says.

"Yeah it's all very well saying it it's another thing entirely believing it" I say as I smile sadly.

"Well I think you are going to be just fine, you have made the first step – leap actually, and now you need to build on that, taking it slowly one day at a time, you will have bad days and good days, your emotions will be all over the place anyway, after just giving birth and we need to keep a check on that but the fact you are nursing your son helps as breast feeding is very beneficial for alleviating depressive symptoms but remember you need to talk it through and we can discuss how you are feeling and get you to a good place" he says.

I glance once more at the nurse who is still writing "Erm excuse me" I say, she looks up at me and smiles.

"Yes" she says.

"Erm, I just want to say sorry, for what I said" I say.

She shakes her head, "Don't mention it" she replies kindly.

"Will that meltdown count against me?" I ask anxiously.

I see the nurse pause as she considers my question, "Denise, I am just here to observe you and record how you behave when you are with your son and when you are separated from him, to determine if you are any danger to him. What I saw was a young mother who got incredibly distressed when her son was removed from her" she says.

"You didn't answer my question" I say.

"I know, because it's not up to me to make that decision, I just observe and record what I see" she says.

"Are you going to tell them I shouted at you?" I ask.

She pauses again, "I am here to help with the psychological evaluation and I am going to tell them that you got very distressed when your son was removed from the room" she says.

"Ok" I reply.

I think about everything that has happened today. I am sick I accept that now, depression and anxiety is what Dr Travis called it. I always figured I was a positive upbeat person so that has surprised me and it is kind of hard to accept so I will have to ask Dr Travis about that, but I remember when we were in California he explained that there was a difference between clinical depression and just feeling down and negative, and from what I have experienced in the past few weeks depression is far more insidious it took over me without me really realising it and it consumed me, and now I have to fight back and not let it control me any longer.

I am thinking clearly enough to realise that today is a good day and getting all my priorities in order while I am feeling good is the way to go to help me fight when the bad days will inevitably come. I think about Landon, his constant niggling in my ear has played a huge part. I fought him but all the time his words played on my insecurities and festered so that in the end I believed what he was telling me. I am so relieved that he isn't allowed near Byron that has made a great deal of difference to my state of mind that people who really matter know he is a bad person and want to protect Byron from him.

Once again I am pulled from my thoughts this time by my father who speaks to me.

"Denise, your grandfather wants to come and visit you and so does Uncle Christopher and Aunt Ireland, do you feel up to a visit from them?" he asks.

I nod and smile, "Yes, I'd love to see them, and I'm sure they are dying to see Byron" I look at the nurse, "Is that allowed?" I ask.

She nods, "It certainly is" she says kindly.

My father pauses and then he speaks again, "Janice would also like to see him" he says carefully, "I called her to let her know he had been born" he says.

I momentarily freeze and then instinctively pull Byron closer, "Can we trust her?" I ask.

My father nods, "I believe we can" he says, "If it turns out we can't, I will deal it personally" he says.

I think about what he said, "she is Josh's mom, so she is Byron's grandmother – I'll give her the benefit of the doubt, but she only gets one chance if she blows it and tells Landon she never sees Byron again" I say.

My father nods "I agree" he says, "if she betrays you I will ensure a restraining order is placed against her, it has been established that Landon is a real danger to you if she facilitates him getting access to you, then she automatically becomes a danger too" he says.

"Thank you daddy" I say quietly and I look down at my son who is oblivious to everything that is going on, and I want to keep him in that state of innocence as long as I possibly can. I want him to have only good memories and always feel safe and loved. I want nobody to ever be in a position to change that for him.

**oooOOOooo**

_The next day..._

I have just finished feeding Byron and Grace is with me and another nurse is watching me and doing note taking today. She was already in place when I woke up this morning. My father has stepped out to make some calls and I am watching my son kicking and cooing on the bed.

"He needs some toys to stimulate him" I say suddenly. I notice the nurse making notes as soon as I said this.

Grace smiles at me, "do you have any for him?" she asks.

I nod, "I have loads for him at home, I have been buying them for months, my father said Byron would need his own apartment just for all his stuff!" I say with a grin.

"Why don't you call Josephine and ask her to bring a selection of toys here for him?" Grace suggests.

I nod and reach for my phone.

"Hi Josephine" I say warily when she answers.

"Hello Denise how are you?" she asks.

"I'm ok" I reply, "Look, would it be possible for you to bring some of the toys I bought for Byron here please, if you don't mind?" I ask.

"Of course I don't mind" she replies, "Your sister's send their love, they have just gone to school and they want to come and see you and Byron again later" she says.

"I'd like that" I say.

"Do you need anything else?" she asks me.

"Erm... I don't think so I have enough baby changing stuff I think and a few sets of clean clothes for him so it's just toys and things to stimulate him when he is awake" I say.

"Alright, but if you think of anything just text me and I'll bring it in with me when I come" she says.

"Thank you Josephine" I say gratefully. "Erm... Josephine" I add. I have a sudden urge to thank her and apologise for how I am screwing up her fledgling relationship with my dad.

"Yes" she replies.

"I just want to thank you for being so understanding and I'm really sorry" I say.

There is a pause but when Josephine speaks I hear nothing but kindness and understanding in her voice. "Denise you have nothing to apologise for I have come to look upon you and your sisters as my family and families stick together in times of crisis we all pull together" she says.

"I know but you didn't sign on for this mess when you started dating my dad, and I don't want my stupidity to put a strain on your relationship" I argue.

"Denise I love your father very much and I understand at this moment in time his place is right by your side helping you get well, I wouldn't be a very good person if I didn't understand and accept that. I enjoy being with your sisters so don't worry about that either, as I am sure you are doing. You need to just concentrate on you, and getting yourself to a good place" she says.

"Thank you and I am trying to do just that, but I just felt I had to say something" I insist.

"Well you didn't, I'll swing by later to see you alright?" she says.

"Yes and thank you" I say again gratefully. I kill the call and I feel a lot better for doing that. As I look at my phone Grace looks carefully at me.

"Everything alright Denise?" she asks carefully.

I look at her and smile, "It is now, I felt I had to say something you know" I say.

My father returns and I look up as he walks in and with him is Uncle Christian, and he is carrying a huge teddy bear, I giggle when I see it.

He looks at me and grins widely, "I couldn't resist it and besides it's kind of a tradition. I bought a similar one for you when you were born" he says as he places the bear down in the corner.

I nod, "I know I still have it" I reply.

"May I hold him?" he asks me as he looks at Byron who is still entertaining himself on the bed. I nod and watch my uncle carefully lift my son into his arms. My dad joins him and I watch them both pulling silly faces at my son and generally behaving in a goofy manner.

I look at Grace and she shakes her head, "It's hard to believe seeing them like this that they are arguably two of the most respected and powerful businessmen in the United States, if not the world" I say.

"I know" she replies with small laugh.

I have a steady flow of visitors throughout the day. My grandfather comes as does Aunty Ireland along with Gareth and Uncle Christopher turns up later on. Josephine and my sisters arrive late afternoon when they have returned from school and Aunty Ana has also been in, she has been busy while in New York helping Josephine with my sisters and offering her support to them, but she has been a regular visitor here at the hospital too. I am incredibly grateful to everyone how they are all rallying around.

I have had another intense therapy session with Dr Travis and this time Dr Flynn and Dr Gibson also sat in and participated and Dr Gibson has been asking me a lot of questions mainly about what my plans are for the future.

I told him how it is my graduation ceremony soon and how I would like to attend as I worked hard to graduate high school early and that I am valedictorian, which reminds me that I need to write a speech. I tell him that I want to go to college and get a business degree with a view to getting a job in marketing and advertising as my mom had taught me all she knew and I had a flair for it and I reiterated that I didn't want to cash in on my surname, that I wanted to carve my own way, but I wasn't too proud to accept my father's help. I explained that as Byron's sole parent I wanted to provide for him and make sure he knew he was loved and that he felt secure and wanted despite the circumstances of his conception and everything that has happened since.

He asked me questions about Landon and I explained how it was like a slow drip of negativity constantly niggling at me that in the end I believed him and how now I was so angry that I had allowed him to get to me in that way. I told of how Elizabeth had used Ireland to pass information to Landon and how she was funding his stalking and how I had confronted her and how I had felt betrayed by her actions even though I barely knew the woman.

I just talked and talked and talked. I tell how I confronted Ryan Landon when Uncle Christian told me of his true intentions and how he was pretending to be a nice person just to get close to me in the hope he could use me to get his long held revenge on my dad. I tell how Josh had become aware of his father's intentions and how he had severed all contact with him, I tell of how guilty I felt that he was estranged from his family when he died and how guilty I feel that Josh had given his life protecting me and our baby. I talk about how since Josh had died Mr Landon had become totally unhinged which brings me full circle to the point we started at in the session. I talked, I cried, I paced and I emptied myself of everything that had happened to me in the last five years and by doing so I slowly started to made sense of it all, made peace with myself over it and laid it all to rest and by the time I was done. I know Dr Gibson, Dr Travis and Dr Flynn were all spent and totally wiped out. I too felt totally drained and when the session finally came to an end and Grace decided I should have a nap while she cared for Byron. Which I did and now I am waking up and I feel refreshed and calm, it is a good feeling.

That feeling soon dissipates though as I finish feeding Byron. There is quiet knock and then the door of the room opens and Janice Landon is standing there. She looks uncomfortable and apologetic but at the sight of her I immediately feel tense and anxious. I instinctively move back away from her. The nurse who has been observing me immediately notices the change in my demeanour as does my father and Grace.

"If it's not a good time I can go" Janice says but her eyes are fixed on Byron as she said this.

I look at my dad and he reached for me squeezing my knee reassuringly.

I nod my head at Janice and she steps closer and she looks questioningly at Grace.

"This is my grandmother, Dr Grace Trevelyan Grey" I explain, "she is my Uncle Christian's mom, but I have always looked upon her as my grandmother" I add as I see Janice frown.

Janice nods and awkwardly sits down on a chair beside the bed, "I brought you some things" she says hesitantly and she places a small bag on the bed beside me.

"Thank you" I reply, I look at my son and then at Janice. "Would you like to hold him?" I ask.

I see the tears appear in Janice's eyes as she nods her head enthusiastically. She holds out her arms and I place my son in them, I watch her like a hawk as her arms close around my son.

"Oh my gosh he is beautiful Denise, he looks just like Josh" she says.

"I know" I say lamely.

I watch as she coo's over him and talks to him, telling him she is his grandmother and that he has two aunties who are anxious to meet him. I don't want to deny her access to Byron as it feels like if I do I am playing god with my son but I am still worried and I think in the interests of my own piece of mind I need to articulate my concerns.

"Promise me you won't tell Ryan" I say carefully.

Janice shakes her head, "No, he won't hear from me and the girls have been warned that they are not to tell him about Byron" she says.

I nod, "The police and the authorities are aware of everything that he has done and the repercussions his actions have had and he is on their shit list along with Elizabeth Vidal who has been helping him. Child Protection Services are involved now and he will be in serious trouble if he tries anything and I want to make it clear if you do betray me and tell him that will be it, you won't get another chance and I won't let you near Byron again" I say.

Janice nods "I understand Ryan has changed, He is not the man I married. He is being eaten away by bitterness and revenge" she says sadly.

Janice Landon stays a while and then she hands Byron back to me and she hugs me tightly. "Thank you for letting me see him, he is all I have left of Josh. I promise you Ryan won't hear anything from me and I hope you get well soon Denise" she says and she surprises me by pressing a kiss to my head.

"Thank you" I say.

My father stands and hugs Janice as she leaves and Grace politely smiles at her and says goodbye. The nurse in the corner is busy taking notes but doesn't react any more than that.

"That seemed to go reasonably well" my father says after she has gone.

I nod, "it did didn't it? She was very understanding" I say, I look in the bag and I find some baby clothes and toiletries and also a box. I open it and there is a small teddy bear it looks old and a little threadbare and as I examine it and I gasp as I see it is embroidered with Josh's name and I find a small note.

_Denise,_

_This bear was the first teddy bear Josh had and it remained his favourite throughout his childhood. _

_My mother bought it for Josh and had his name embroidered on it, his twin sister has one too with her name on it. But it felt right and fitting for me to pass it on to his son. I am sure he would want him to have it._

_I hope Byron gets as much out of it as Josh did._

_Janice x_

Tears are rolling down my cheek as I pass the bear and the note to my father and he looks at them.

"That was a really nice gesture" he says eventually, his voice is hoarse and I realise this has moved him too.

I continue my rummage through the bag and I find a beautifully crocheted blanket and another note and it tells me this was also Josh's. I immediately place it in the crib at the side of my bed for Bryon to use I have this notion that it will bring Bryon a little closer to his father who he will never personally know.

I feel happy with my decision to allow Janice to see Byron and reasonably secure that she won't deliberately tell Landon of it.

A little later Janice returns and I thank her sincerely for the gifts and she simply nods. Uncle Christian and Aunt Ana are here and Uncle Christian looks at her suspiciously as I introduce him, and I see my Aunt Ana roll her eyes as Janice is practically drooling as she accepts Uncle Christian's handshake. She has returned because Josh's sisters are outside and they too want to see Byron. I nod and Hayley and Jodie come in they both hug me and then stare at my son in the crib beside me. Hayley takes a photograph on her phone and they both comment how he looks like Josh. Before they leave my father reiterates the importance of not informing Landon of the visit and they all promise that they won't.


	37. Chapter 37

CHAPTER 37

_The next day..._

I am slowly relaxing more now the initial fear that Landon is going to turn up at any point is dissipating and I am feeling more and more secure in the knowledge that he can't get to me.

Grace and my father are once more here when I wake up and again I feel a twinge of guilt that they are putting their lives on hold for me. I know that as long as I want Byron with me Grace has to be there and no matter how I try to fight the negativity it makes me feel bad, also I know my father should be at work but he's not, I take a deep breath and voice my concerns.

"Dad, why don't you get yourself out of here and go to work? I have security here and my shadow over there" I nod towards the now permanent fixture of the nurse in the corner whose job it is, is to observe me and make notes on how I behave.

My father goes to protest and I hold my hand up. "Dad, you have an empire to run, you can't do that effectively here. I'm not going to do anything stupid I've learnt my lesson on that one and it will make me feel a whole lot better knowing you are doing what you should be doing rather than being stuck here babysitting me".

My father smiles at me and stands, "Alright, I'll go but I will come back and have lunch with you and if you need me for anything you call me do you understand? If you just want to talk or even just hear my voice. Anything you call me do you understand me?" he says firmly and I nod my head.

"I understand, now go" I say with a grin, flapping my hands at him. He walks over and kisses me and after hugging Grace tightly he leaves the room, he pauses at the door and looks back at me.

"You need anything, you call me" he reiterates.

"Just go" I say and smile as he finally leaves. I sigh and turn my attention to Grace. "Grandma I want you to take a break too, you have flown to New York putting your life on hold and you are practically being held hostage here so that I can see my son and I am so grateful, but it can't be healthy for you so I want you to take the day off" I say.

Grace smiles at me. "Darling I can't, if I go Byron has to go too and I sincerely believe it is better for both of you to be together at this time" she says.

My lip trembles at the thought of not seeing my son it's bad enough seeing him go with Grace in the evenings and knowing she is the one caring for him at night with milk that I have to pump and I shake my head sadly.

"This fucking sucks" I say quietly. "I am ruining your life by my stupid actions".

Grace wraps her arm around me, "Denise look at me, don't start thinking like this again. I agreed to do this and I was fully aware of what I was getting myself into and if I didn't want to do it I would never have flown in from Seattle and I wouldn't have put myself forward as I did. I am your grandmother and as such I am here for you and my great grandson for as long as you need me now stop it with these silly thoughts" she says.

I lean into her warm hold and tears start to fall, "I want my mom" I say quietly.

Grace holds me tighter, "I know you do, it's only natural you would want her at a time like this. What do you think she would say to you?" Grace asks.

I smile at the thought, "if mom was here I wouldn't be in this position, she wouldn't have allowed Landon to keep hassling me the way he did, she would have ripped his fucking head off by now!" I say with a grin, and then I glance at the nurse, "metaphorically speaking of course" I add quickly. Then I realise I have dropped the f bomb and I go red. "Sorry about the f bomb" I whisper.

Grace smiles at me, "You need to try and curb your more colourful language, it won't be long before little ears start picking up words and the last thing you want is Byron coming out with some of the things you say" she says diplomatically.

I nod, "Yeah, I think I got my potty mouth from hearing my dad and Uncle Christian talking. They tried to rein it in but I overheard stuff as I was growing up, not to mention some of the guys in dad's security team when they didn't realise I was there. Mom also knew how to let rip at times too" I smile at the memories I have of my mother, "dad never really cared about what I said and how I said it after mom died he said all he wanted was for me to be honest with him, and he said there were worse things in the world than a few curse words… but I get it now I wouldn't want Byron coming out with some of the stuff I say" I say.

I start to giggle and Grace looks at me in surprise, "What's so funny?" she asks.

"I'm just remembering the time I mouthed off at Uncle Christian and he told me watch my language and while he was chastising me about my language he dropped the f bomb too" I say.

"When was this?" Grace asks.

I think back "it was last summer, the summer Jenny died. We were in Seattle on vacation and I had noticed that Uncle Christian and Phoebe weren't getting on too well, so I told him what he should do" I say.

Grace laughs, "And I'm sure that went down really well" she says.

I nod, "Yeah I was pretty blunt" I say, "But we talked it though and I apologised for my language and he actually listened to what I had to say, and we came to an understanding" I say.

We spend the morning just talking and I recount the memories I have of my mother and her reactions to situations over the years and I admit to how much I miss her, but I also say how much I like Josephine and how glad I am that my dad has her in his life. I don't know how long we spend doing this but at some point during the morning, the door opens and Josephine walks in along with Aunty Ana and she smiles at me. I sit up and greet them warmly. Aunty Ana hugs me tightly and sits down beside grandma.

"Hi" I say as Josephine leans down and hugs me.

"Hello sweetie, and how are you this morning?" she asks.

I nod, "I'm good actually, I made dad go to work he was pretty resilient but he went in the end. I have fed and changed Byron and I've spent the morning talking with grandma about my memories of my mom and stuff that has happened over the years including the time I mouthed off at Uncle Christian and cursed at him and he told me to mind my language while dropping the f bomb himself" I say. I glance at Aunty Ana and she smiles as she recalls that particular day.

Josephine smiles, "I'm sure there aren't many people out there who would have the nerve to stand up and mouth off at your uncle, he comes across as pretty intimidating at times" she says.

I shake my head, "No not really, he's just a big soft teddy bear once you get past the mean public image" I say. Aunty Ana laughs at this comment and wholeheartedly agrees.

"He is" she says adamantly, "He is a wonderful warm kind hearted man underneath" she adds. I watch as grandma nods her head adamantly in agreement with this remark.

Josephine looks at us incredulously and I giggle once more. The door opens and Uncle Christian appears with a huge grin on his face.

"Talk of the devil" I say as I look at him and return the grin.

Uncle Christian's eyebrows rise and he stares at me questioningly, "What?" he says.

"You, we were just talking about you" I say.

"Oh?!" he replies and looks at us all in turn.

"Yeah, grandma told me I should try and curb my potty mouth now that I have Byron and it reminded me of last summer when we were in Seattle and I cursed at you and you called me out on it but dropped the f bomb in the process".

I watch as my uncle remembers and he smiles, "Yes I remember that" he says.

"I was just saying how there aren't many people who would have the nerve to stand up to you let alone curse at you" Josephine says quietly.

My uncle shakes his head, "No there isn't but my niece is a pretty unique person" he says as he looks at me indulgently and gives me a hug.

"Yeah and Aunty Ana and I just ruined your rep by telling her that you are really just a big soft teddy bear underneath the cold aloof public image" I say as I rest my head against him returning the hug.

He laughs as we pull apart, but doesn't say anything. Uncle Christian goes over and kisses Aunty Ana softly on the lips and murmurs something in her ear which I don't catch but whatever it was she blushes and its lovely to see two people so much in love.

As we sit there talking my attention is drawn to voices outside and I freeze as I recognise the unmistakable sound of Ryan Landon's voice. I watch my uncle bristle and his whole demeanour changes instantly and he stands up and becomes almost taller and his features alter becoming more angular and his eyes are like shards of glass. Gone is warm and loving, caring uncle, this is something I have never seen before and this is much scarier than his usual impassive public face. I am panic stricken but I quickly pull myself together. My only thoughts are to protect my son, and I quickly jump into action as I leap off the bed. The nurse in the corner watches me as I grab my sleeping son out of the crib and push him into Grace's arms and point towards the bathroom.

"Grandma take him in there out of the way and lock the door, just keep him safe please" I say. Grace nods and without questioning my decision or saying anything does as I ask. Aunty Ana looks at Uncle Christian and then moves to my side and wraps her arm around me, I watch the nurse in the corner has stopped taking notes and is looking questioningly at us.

I look at her and I am sure she can see the terror in my eyes. "Ryan Landon is here, he wants my son and he isn't allowed to be here, the ladies from the CPS and the cops know he isn't allowed near us so he shouldn't be here and I need my son safe, so this is the only thing I can think of to do" I quickly explain. I see my uncle on the phone texting furiously and Josephine just looks petrified. The nurse stands and presses a panic button.

"Josephine why don't you go into the bathroom with grandma and Byron" I say.

She stares at me and I see the resolve in her face, "No Denise you need me so I am staying right here with you" she says firmly and she stands and reaches for my hand holding it tightly. The contact gives me comfort and I grip her hand tightly. I feel protected having my Aunt one side and Josephine the other.

I hear scuffling and raised voices and I know my father's security are trying to remove Landon and stop him from getting in. I step forward so I am standing next to Uncle Christian ready for whatever happens next. Uncle Christian pushes me back behind him as the door bursts open and Paul comes flying in landing in a heap. He quickly regains his composure but Landon is now in the room, he is wild as he stares around the room and he glances at the empty crib.

"Where is my grandson?" he snarls at me.

"Where you can't get him, now fuck off and leave us alone" I retort.

This makes him angrier and he lurches forward and tries to grab me but Aunty Ana and Josephine both step forward to stop him but as he does so Byron starts to cry from inside the bathroom. Landon freezes his head whipping around to stare at the bathroom door and he goes to walk towards it. My reaction is immediate and I surge forward and shove him with all my strength. He wasn't expecting it and he stumbles backwards losing his balance for a moment.

"No, you will stay away from him. You are breaking yet another restraining order, Child Protection Services know what you are like. You will stay away from my son" I scream at him.

Landon quickly recovers and grabs me and goes to hit me but Uncle Christian is too quick for him and with a move so fast nobody sees it coming he lands a perfectly executed punch directly on Landon's chin we watch as he staggers backwards and straight into my father's arms. Raul also appears from somewhere and I see hospital security appearing from all directions. I look up into my father's face and he look livid. I have seen that look on his face before when he saw the photographs of the Fosters who accosted me and Liv at school and one of them exposed himself at the car it scares me now as it did then, and I know instinctively that if someone doesn't stop him he will kill Ryan Landon with his bare hands and not think twice about it. Raul and Paul have also come to this conclusion and are trying to put themselves in between my father and Landon.

"Daddy please don't, he's not worth it and I need you" I beg as I see him pin Landon to the door by his throat and raise his other fist to give him the hiding of his life.

"Gideon" Josephine calls desperately.

"Gideon, please think about this" Aunty Ana says quietly, but my father ignores them both.

I watch as Uncle Christian quickly assesses the situation and along with Raul and Paul, wrench Landon from my father's iron grip before he can inflict any damage on him and along with the hospital security drag they him away. It all happens so quickly from beginning to end it couldn't have been more than a few seconds in total.

I sigh as I watch them go and then burst into tears. My father's reaction to this is swift and immediate. His fists unclench and his face softens and he strides towards me sweeping me up and sitting with me in his lap he rocks me gently. I cling to him and sob into his shirt.

"I'll go and page Dr Gibson" the nurse says and she slips quietly from the room, I look up.

"She isn't supposed to leave me" I say.

"Never mind about that now" my father says still holding me.

A short while later Dr Gibson is here as is Dr Travis and Officer Timson and I am reliving what happened. Grace is sitting quietly in the corner and I am holding Byron who has now stopped crying as I recount the events as they happened. As I am talking Uncle Christian appears with grim expression.

"That man is a fucking menace" he blurts out angrily.

"Christian" Grace says warningly.

I watch as my uncle holds up his hand, I can't help but notice his red knuckles and I wonder if Landon received any more than that one punch we all saw my uncle throw. "No mom it needs to be said, and it also needs to be said how Denise reacted. Her primary thoughts were of the safety of her son she put him first and put him out of harm's way, she was calm and collected and then when he tried to get to the bathroom she put herself in danger to stop him getting access to her son there is no way on this god damned fucking earth that she is an sort of danger to him" he rants.

"Christian, please" Grace says again.

"How the fuck did he get in here?" Uncle Christian snaps oblivious to grandma's plea for calm, I know my uncle is on a roll and won't stop now until he has finished venting.

"I was alone for a few moments and he chose that time to appear, had Raul been here as well he wouldn't have breached the room" Paul says with an apologetic shrug.

I watch as Officer Timson takes witness statements from Josephine, Aunty Ana, Grace and the nurse and they all state how as soon as I heard Landon I picked up my son gave him to Grace and put him out of harm's way.

The nurse and Josephine both tell of how Paul was shoved through the door and how Landon arrived and was totally out of control. She also tells how I tried to stop him getting to Byron, how he tried to attack me and how Uncle Christian hit him. She questions Uncle Christian and he rants some more but basically says the same thing. He also tells how Landon had assaulted Paul and attempted to grab me and he openly admits that he hit him whilst defending me.

"How do you come into this Mr Cross, when did you arrive?" officer Timson asks my father.

He looks up, "I was on my way here anyway as I wanted to have lunch with my daughter and a message came through from Paul stating Landon was on the premises. I arrived shortly afterwards and Raul joined me, I arrived just as my brother hit Landon and as he hit him he fell backwards into me" he pauses and looks at Raul, "Where the fuck were you?" he asks.

"Comfort break" he says quietly and apologetically.

I feel sorry for Raul, he was taking a piss for god's sake and it all kicked off while he was out the way.

Dr Travis and Dr Gibson talk through everything with me and Dr Gibson comments on my actions.

"That was very quick thinking on your part Denise, removing your son from the room and out of harm's way" he says.

I shrug, "It seemed the obvious thing to do, I knew he would be safe with Grandma in the bathroom and there was no fucking way I was going to let Landon anywhere near there, I'm his mom, it's my job to protect him and I will do till my last breath" I say.

After we have had lunch I eventually persuade my father to go back to work, after repeatedly assuring him that I am absolutely fine. Aunty Ana and Uncle Christian both leave us and Josephine heads back to the apartment to wait for my sisters coming home from school.

I have another extensive session with Dr Travis to discuss my feelings and my reaction about seeing Landon again. I am surprised by exactly how well I am handling this if I am honest; I am calm and together about the whole incident. The only thing I can put it down to is the fact the people who matter know what he is like now and they believe me and understand he is a threat which makes me less likely to lose it when he starts his games. I do wonder though how he found out and I immediately think it must be either Janice or Josh's sisters who tipped him off.

As my therapy session comes to an end my phone rings and I answer it.

"Hello" I say.

"Denise it's Janice. Your father has called me and I want to tell you the same thing I told him, I swear to you it wasn't me who told Ryan. I just wanted you to know that, we are trying to figure out how he found out. I swear it wasn't me and my girls are both adamant that they haven't been in touch with him as they know how important it is that he doesn't have any access to you and Byron".

"Ok" I say but I don't say anything else, this makes me a little concerned the only other person who could have said something to him is Elizabeth and how would she find out, nobody has anything to do with her?

"Am I still allowed to see Byron?" Janice asks carefully.

I sigh, "Ok" I say again and I hear her relief and I also hear her start to cry.

"Thank you so much Denise, you have no idea how much this means to me" she says.

"Alright, look I have to go now" I say. I feel uncomfortable and I just don't want to talk to her any more.

"I understand thank you Denise, goodbye" she says.

"Goodbye Janice" I reply and then I kill the call. I look up at Dr Travis, who is watching me carefully. "That was Janice Landon, Josh's mom, she was upset after dad had called her and told her Ryan Landon had been here and she was protesting her innocence that she didn't tell him about Byron, as I had warned her that if she did she wouldn't see Byron again and she was worried I wouldn't allow her access to him" I explain.

"Do you believe her when she says she didn't tell Ryan Landon?" Dr Travis asks.

I think for a moment and nod, "Yes I think I do, she seemed upset and sincere" I say.

Dr Travis nods, "I'm sure your father and his team will find out who was responsible for the breach" he says.

He has hardly got the words out of his mouth when there is a knock at the door and Raul appears, I smile gratefully at him he is having a shit day. My dad had laid into him and I had defended him telling my father that everyone was entitled to go for a piss, and that it wasn't his fault Landon had picked that time to try and get to me.

Now, he has his hands full having to dig and find out how Landon got the information of where to find me. I know that is what he is paid to do and my father pays him well, but Landon has fucked with us all for so long. He spent years goading my father and trying to ruin him and now he has me in his sights and doesn't seem to want to give it up any time soon. Raul has always been in the background trying to keep him at arm's length and anticipate his next move and I think he is getting totally sick of him.

"Hi Raul what's up?" I ask.

"We think we have found out how Ryan Landon discovered you were here" he says.

I immediately sit up straight, "Oh?" I ask.

He nods and sits down beside me, "Yeah, we believe it was Hayley – we think she took a photo of Byron yesterday and she sent it to her father" he says.

I think back to the previous day and remember Hayley pointing her phone at Byron and snapping a picture and I shake my head. "Janice just called me and told me that she was adamant that her girls hadn't done anything" I say coldly, and I feel betrayed by this revelation.

Raul lifts his hand up, "My guess is Janice doesn't know. We only know because we are monitoring Landon's phone records and activity and a text was sent to him yesterday after Hayley and Jodie came to visit and it had a picture included. We traced it back to Hayley's phone and with that we have put two and two together, but there is every possibility we could be wrong and it could be a coincidence and totally innocent and unrelated, but having said that I am going to tell your father but I wanted you to know first" he says.

"Thank you Raul" I say, he nods and after squeezing my hand he leaves the room.

My first instinct is to call Janice and lay into her, but I realise this will tip off Hayley and we need to get the proof so I leave it. I talk about how I am feeling with Dr Travis and he compliments me on my control at not giving into my instincts to confront and to see the bigger picture and wait it out.

"So I guess we just wait now to find out for sure" I say.

**oooOOOooo**

I get some unexpected visitors late afternoon, the door opens and Uncle Christopher appears I smile widely at him.

"Hi how's it going?" I ask, genuinely pleased to see him again, he has been in before and I am actually quite surprised to see him again so soon.

"Good, just thought I'd drop by and see my niece and my baby nephew!" he says, he peers into the crib and touches Byron's fingers, and he smiles as Byron grips his finger tightly.

"How are you Dennie?" he asks looking at me carefully.

I nod, "I'm good actually, and I'm guessing you heard about my unwelcome visitor this morning?" I say.

Christopher nods, "Yeah I was with dad when Gideon called him, he was steaming about it" he says. He pauses a moment and I can see he is excited about something, I look at him questioningly.

"What?" I ask eventually.

"I erm... I have a surprise for you Dennie" he says with a grin.

"Oh?" I ask.

Christopher stands up and goes back towards the door, "Yeah I have a couple of people here who are keen to see you" he says and opens the door and he beckons whoever it is to come in, I gasp as the two men step into the room and greet me warmly.

"Brett! Nicky! What are you two doing in New York?" I ask leaping to my feet and throwing myself at them.

Brett laughs as he catches me, "We are in town as my son is here to sign his recording contract with Vidal Records and sort out the arrangements to start recording his debut album" he says proudly and I immediately turn towards Nicky and congratulate him, "and we were hoping to catch up with you and your dad while we were here, but then Christopher told us you'd had the baby and were here in the hospital so we thought we'd drop by to see you and offer our congrats in person" Brett explains.

I pull away and thank them and I notice Brett is holding a bag which he hands to me. "We got you these... for the baby, it's not much" he says with a shrug.

I take the bag, "thank you it was very kind of you" I say sincerely.

"So where is the little guy?" Nicky asks.

I move and point to the crib and the two men walk over and look at my son who is wide awake and entertaining himself by reaching for his mobile and the toys dangling over him.

"You must be very proud" Brett says kindly.

"I am, he is my world" I reply. I remember my manners and introduce Grace.

"Grandma this is Brett Kline and his son Nicky, I met them when I was staying in California with my grandfather, but Brett knows my dad from way back, and he dated my mom long before she met my dad" I explain.

I turn to Brett and Nicky, "Guys this is Dr Grace Trevelyan Grey, she is a very special lady, for starters she is the mother of my uncle Christian but even more than that she is my grandma" I pause as I see confusion on their faces, they know about Uncle Christian (well who doesn't!) and they know that he was adopted and that she isn't my dad's mom.

"When my dad and Uncle Christian discovered they were brothers Grace kind of adopted my dad too and he has looked upon her as his mom since that time and she has flown in from Seattle to help me with Byron" I say.

"Is your uncle in town too?" Brett asks.

I nod, "yeah he is" I reply.

"Have you had any more bother with that guy... Lanford?" Nicky asks me.

I nod, "Landon, Ryan Landon. Yeah you could say that, he was here this morning. He isn't allowed to come anywhere near me but that didn't seem to bother him and he tried to get in to me here today" I say.

I see Nicky's eyes fall on my bandaged wrists and I feel myself go red and I try and hide my arms.

"What happened to your wrists?" he asks me gently.

"Nothing, I… I had an accident" I say quickly, I watch Nicky's eyes soften with compassion and he nods.

"Ok" he says simply, but I know from the look he is giving me that he knows there is far more to it than that.

Brett and Nicky take a seat and I catch up with them listening eagerly to their news. Nicky has been signed by Vidal Records and he is in the process of producing his debut album, which he is naturally excited about. I glance at Brett who is clearly very proud of his son.

"How do you feel about your boy following in your footsteps?" I ask him.

To my surprise he shrugs, "I'm pleased for him as it's what he wanted to do, but I would rather he had picked a different path, I went down that road and it's not all it's cracked up to be and I was kind of glad when it ended, but at least I can guide him and try and advise him not to make the same mistakes I did" he stops and shakes his head, I am surprised by how sad he sounds.

"Do you have regrets about that time in your life?" I ask.

He nods, "I do, I wasn't a good person and all I could see was becoming famous and living the dream, but I hurt a lot of people along the way in pursuit of that dream. Your mom was one of them, and when I got it… well as I say it wasn't all it was cracked up to be" he stops speaking and smiles at me before slapping his son on the back, "but my boy here has far more sense than I ever had!" he says.

We all look around as the door opens and my dad is standing there with Uncle Christian. My dad stares at Brett for a moment before pulling himself together and extending his hand in greeting.

"Brett how are you? Christopher told me you both were in town" he says and he nods at Nicky, "Nick" he adds and Nicky politely says hello.

"I'm good thanks Gideon, erm... congrats on becoming a grandfather" Brett says pointing to the crib, I watch as my father smiles at the mention of Byron and looks across at him fondly.

"Thank you" he says, he turns to Uncle Christian, "Brett, I don't know if you remember my brother Christian who has flown in from Seattle, Christian, do you remember Brett Kline?" I watch as Uncle Christian nods curtly as he silently thrusts out his hand in greeting. My dad then gestures towards Nicky "and this is Brett's son Nicky they are in town as Nicky has just been signed by Vidal, Nicky this is my brother – Christian Grey" he says.

I watch my uncle's reaction as he politely shakes hands with Nicky but I can't help but notice his smile doesn't reach his eyes as he greets either of them.

"Look we will be heading off I think" Brett says he turns to me and smiles, "It was good to see you again Denise, you take care of yourself and that little man" he says.

"Thank you and I will" I reply, I look at Nicky and he smiles at me and touches my shoulder.

"Before we head back to California, perhaps I could drop by and see you again?" he asks.

I nod, "I'd like that" I reply.

With that they both leave with Uncle Christopher who slaps Uncle Christian playfully on the shoulder before he leaves. I turn my attention to Uncle Christian.

"You don't like Brett do you?" I ask.

I watch as my uncle tries to decide what to say. "I don't trust him, I remember him and the trouble he caused" he says stubbornly.

I roll my eyes at him, "What is wrong with you, that was years ago? He was young and stupid and he apologised for what he did, my dad is ok with him now so just get over it" I say bluntly.

Uncle Christian stares at me for a moment and then much to my surprise a huge smile crosses his lips and then he reaches for me pulling me to my feet he hugs me tightly, I am left confused by his reaction and I think it must show on my face.

"What you just said. Your forthright and rather blunt comment - that is the old Denise we know and love, and the Denise we haven't seen for a while and it's good to see her back again now!" Uncle Christian explains and I realise what he means. I push away from him and sit down again.

My attention turns to my father who settles himself beside me and he is looking serious, he snakes his arm around my shoulder and pulls me close to him.

"What's up?" I ask but I have a rough idea of what he is going to say.

"It was Hayley who betrayed you to Landon" he says with no preamble.

I nod, "Raul told me of his suspicions and what he had found out; so it's certain then, she confessed?" I ask.

My father nods, "I went round and told Janice and Raul came with me and Janice immediately went to Hayley's room. I think she wanted to prove us wrong and she took her phone from her and checked it hoping she could prove that we had been mistaken but the evidence was right there and Janice was totally gutted.

Hayley was apologetic and remorseful and I explained what he did this morning and she appeared to be upset about it. Jodie didn't take it at all well and she berated her sister quite forcefully. Janice was mortified though, she couldn't stop apologising. She was very upset as she believes that Hayley's actions have ruined it for her to see Byron. I told her that I would discuss it with you but I couldn't promise her anything" he stops and looks at me.

I shake my head, "I have no idea what to do, I don't want to look like I'm playing god with my son, and using him as a weapon against them but if I can't trust that when they see him it's not going to get straight back to Landon which he will then take as another excuse to have another pop at us. I can't risk that, I don't know what to do" I look up at Uncle Christian, "What do you think?" I ask.

My uncle shrugs "If it were me I'd cut all contact with the whole lot of them, they had their chance and they blew it" he says coldly.

I laugh humourlessly; I didn't really need to ask as I was expecting that sort of reaction from him. I turn to Grace and look questioningly at her.

She smiles at me and grips my hand "Darling, you need to follow your instincts just like you did this morning when you protected Byron when Ryan Landon came here, just follow your instincts" she says.

I think for a moment, and look up at my dad. "Hayley isn't allowed anywhere near him again. Janice and Jodie get one more chance, as it sounds like they had no idea what Hayley did, but that is it if they blow it and I'm done" I say firmly.

My father nods "I'll call Janice and tell her, I think you have been more than reasonable" he says. He looks at me carefully and then continues to speak.

"As for Landon he has breached one too many restraining orders, and this time because Child Protection are involved he couldn't wriggle his way out of it and he has found himself in a jail cell he has always managed to get out of it before somehow but the evidence now is just too great and the amount of witnesses this morning and what he did, well it was all pretty conclusive. He was also caught attacking Paul on the CCTV cameras in the hallway when Paul tried to prevent him gaining entry for which we have pressed charges, so at this moment he is sitting in a police cell" he says.

I sigh and almost sag with relief at his words, and a big smile fills my face. Uncle Christian sits down beside me and speaks.

"So if we get our way that is where the fucker will be staying" he says firmly.

"Christian, language" Grace says and I smile even wider.


	38. Chapter 38

CHAPTER 38

_Thirteen days later..._

I wake up this morning and I have a huge sense of foreboding. I feel anxious and agitated. I try and bring my emotions under control as I know any overreaction today of all days will not be good.

Today the fourteen days are up, today I get the findings of the psychological review on me and the CPS decide if I am a fit mother or not. I look back over the past fortnight and I marvel at how far I have come. I am not cured by any stretch of the imagination, and it would stupid to even think that I am but I am determined to beat this thing.

I think back to the lost, confused and broken person I was when I was admitted; I glance down at the nearly healed gashes on my wrist, now fresh reddish pink skin. I will have this reminder for the rest of my life as to just how stupid I was when I let myself fall too far. I still let things get to me and I obsess over things that happen, but Dr Travis has been brilliant at showing me how to deal with that. I look at the crib at the side of my bed and my son who is sleeping peacefully, totally oblivious of the issues that have been going on around him. I touch his head he is all I need to help me beat this thing. If it wasn't for him I would have given up but he needs me and that thought is what is keeping me going.

As Dr Travis explained I will have good days and I will have bad days, over the past two weeks the good days have been pretty much level pegging with the bad ones which is massive progress in itself, but today I fear is not a good day. The way I am feeling at this moment I just know it is going to be a bad day, and I close my eyes and try and fight it. All my insecurities are shouting loudly at me today and I can't shut them out, I try and shut them out I really try and focus and think of the good stuff, but today all I can think of is, what if they decide I'm a bad mom and take my son away?

That fear just won't go away and the more I think about it the more I am obsessing and the more upset I am becoming.

"Denise? Denise darling, what is it?" I look up and see my grandmother looking at me with a concerned expression on her face.

I shake my head and the tears start to fall, in a flash she is beside me holding me in her arms. "Talk to me darling" she coaxes.

"Today they decide" I say.

"Who darling?" she asks.

"The authorities, they decide whether or not I'm a shit mother" I say.

"Denise stop this and look at me, you are a _very_ good mother and you love your son dearly and you consistently put him first, everyone has seen how much you care about him" she says.

I look up and see the nurse scribbling furiously, I don't even bother about her anymore and act as if she isn't there.

"Grandma, I couldn't stand it if they say he can't come home with me" I sob, the tears now falling freely.

"Look darling, you need to stop this, right now. I'm going to call your father" Grace says firmly as she leads me to sit down on the bed.

As Grace reaches for her phone the door opens and my father walks in and Grace puts her phone down again with a relieved expression on her face. My dad takes a shot look at her and then he looks at me with concern and in a flash he is crouching in front of me. "Denise what's wrong?" he asks anxiously.

"I'm worried" I say.

"About what?" he asks.

"Today, if they decide I can go home but what if they say Byron can't come with me?" I say.

I can feel my anxiety ratcheting up and I can't control it. I grasp my father's shirt and bury my head into his chest, searching for something but I'm not sure what. My father reaches into his pocket and pulling out his phone he sends a quick text and then I feel him wrap his arms around me and sitting down beside me he pulls me into his lap.

"Come on, don't do this to yourself. You have done so well over the past fortnight, you have come so far, don't let thoughts of what if take all that away" he says.

"I just couldn't bear it if they said I can't keep Byron, I am trying so hard to be a good mom to him" I can hear my voice getting higher and more out of control and I stop and take a deep breath to try and stop myself.

I don't know how long we sit there, me emotionally destroying myself and my father and Grace trying to stop me, when the door opens and Dr Gibson and Dr Travis come in and look at me with concern.

"I got your text Gideon - What's happened?" Dr Travis asks.

"Denise has got herself into a bit of a state about the verdict today regarding the psychological evaluation, she has got it into her head that Byron is going to be taken away from her and that she is a bad mother" my father says.

He sighs, "Which is complete rubbish but nevertheless at this moment she totally believes it" he says.

"Alright, Denise look at me. Do you remember what we talked about? How you need to focus on the positive" Dr Travis says calmly focusing his attention on me.

I nod, "I tried, but it's the fear, the fear that they are going to say I can't take Byron home with me, but I won't hurt him. I could never hurt him, he is my reason for living" I say.

"Alright, calm down, let's go through this slowly" Dr Travis says patiently.

We sit and we talk through everything, I explain how I woke up with the feelings of foreboding and how that rapidly escalated to the point I am at now, how I couldn't bear it if they said I couldn't keep Byron and how I want to go home and take him with me.

We talk and talk and Dr Travis's reasonability starts to override my irrational thought process and slowly I start to calm down. I am in the middle of spewing out all my fears and insecurities when Byron wakes and starts to cry. I immediately stop speaking and I wipe my face and turn my full attention to my son. I lift him out of the crib and I change him and offer him my breast, I feel the calmness flow over me as I sit talking to him and focussing on his immediate needs.

A few moments later I realise I have been ignoring everyone else and that I was in the middle of a conversation with Dr Travis which I have just totally abandoned and I look around sheepishly. "Sorry, what were we talking about? I kind of got distracted" I say.

Dr Travis and Dr Gibson are beaming at me, "Don't worry about it" Dr Travis says.

Dr Gibson, moves and sits down on the bed beside me and he asks the nurse to fetch him his file on me and she stands and leaves the room, then returns a few moments later with a large manila file and hands it to Dr Gibson.

"Thank you" he says as he takes it, and then he turns his attention to me. "Denise, I was going to go through this with you later when the ladies from the Child Protection Service arrive but I think you need to know what my recommendations are now" he says. He opens the file and shows me the reports from the nurses who have been observing me and explains them.

"All these observations consistently report that you are a loving and conscientious mother, you put your son's needs first and his well being is paramount to you. After the unpleasant situation when Ryan Landon breached the restraining order and gained access to you, it was reported that you calmly took your son and gave him to Dr Trevelyan Grey and made sure he was safe and secure out of harm's way, you then put yourself in the direct line of fire to prevent Landon from getting to him. Admittedly you were supported by other people but you made the decisions regarding your son and executed them very well. You have been responding exceedingly well to treatment and Dr Travis has been very positive about the progress you have made. Dr Flynn also made some positive comments and observations before he returned to Seattle and these too have been taken into consideration. Dr Trevelyan Grey is very impressed with your parenting skills and she believes that having your son with you is instrumental with your recovery and I am inclined to agree with that. So I have already recommended to Child Protection Services that you are discharged into the care of your father and that in our professional opinion you do not pose any threat to your son and providing that an adequate support network and care is in place and available to you and Byron in the home environment _and _you continue with your therapy I have no problem with you taking your son home with you". Dr Gibson smiles at me and I burst into tears and fling myself at him hugging him and thanking him repeatedly.

He pushes me away after a moment and speaks seriously "Denise I will say that the ladies from the Child Protection Service will have the final say, but the recommendations are pretty clear and conclusive" he adds.

I nod my head "I understand, thank you" I say.

After that my mood improves dramatically but I still have niggling doubts and worries about what if, but now I have this information I am able to control those doubts and be more positive. The two ladies I had previously met arrive about 10am and smile widely at me, they too have a file in their hands. I can't help but wonder why in these days of digital technology these people rely on the old fashioned method. Uncle Christian and Aunt Ana arrive and so does Josephine. When everyone has arrived the one I remember as Greta Boyd starts to speak.

"Hello everyone, today we review Denise's situation and I would like to thank the Cross and Grey family for being so forthcoming and cooperative during this process. We have received reports and a full psychological evaluation from Dr Gibson regarding Denise's progress along with his recommendations. I also received a full evaluation from Dr Flynn before he returned to Seattle and one from Dr Travis who has been continuing with Denise's care here in New York. Now I do have a couple of questions and concerns regarding Denise's support network once she leaves the care of the hospital. What has been put in place to ensure continued improvement and recovery?" she stops and looks at my father and Dr Travis. My father immediately begins to speak and I listen with interest as I have no idea what will happen when I leave the hospital.

"As you say Dr Flynn has returned to Seattle, but he is primarily my therapist so it is irrelevant that he isn't here on the ground. However, he is available to us via telephone and Skype at any time he is needed. Dr Trevelyan Grey has agreed to remain in New York for a further fortnight to help with Denise's transition between the hospital and home environment and her husband Carrick Grey is flying in to assist my attorneys with the case against Ryan Landon. Dr Travis has agreed to relocate indefinitely to New York and I am funding and facilitating that move, so that he is on hand for Denise. My partner Josephine..." I watch as my dad gestures towards Josephine and smiles lovingly at her, "...has agreed to take a sabbatical from her employment to be available in the home to support Denise this too is indefinitely".

Greta Boyd looks surprised at this and turns to Josephine, "Your employers were happy to facilitate this for you?" she asks incredulously.

"She works for me" my father states abruptly and comprehension and acceptance appears on Greta Boyd's face.

"Denise will also have my entire security team at her disposal who are all highly trained and capable individuals and who as well has having a professional stake in her protection and well being, the majority have watched her grow up and have known her all her life so inevitably they have a certain fondness for her. My step father Chris Vidal has also offered to be available for Denise whenever she needs it, he is now semi retired and is at the end of a phone line should she need him, my brother Christopher and sister Ireland are also available and have pledged their ongoing support. My brother Christian and his wife Ana are returning to Seattle when Denise is discharged but they have always been available to us all and we know that they are only at the end of the phone should we ever need them, so there is no change there" he pauses and then looks at me and smiles, "but most of all she will have her sisters and myself".

My father looks at Greta Boyd questioningly, "Thank you Mr Cross that was very comprehensive, a lot of thought has gone into this and Denise clearly has a strong support network around her, we have taken into consideration all the facts and recommendations and we are happy for Byron to be discharged into his mothers care".

As she says this I burst into tears and thank her sincerely, she smiles at me and after both women wish me the best of luck they leave the room. Dr Gibson soon follows and my family crowd around me giving me their unconditional love and affection. I look up and see the nurse who has been observing me slip quietly from the room, and I call out to her.

"Wait" I call she stops and turns.

"I just want to say thank you" I say, "and if you could pass on my thanks to the other nurse who sometimes was in here" I add.

She nods at me, "No problem" she says simply and with that she is gone.

I look at Dr Travis and a question I need answering bubbles out of my mouth before I can stop it. "What about your work in California?" I ask.

Dr Travis reassures me it is in good hands and he is able to commit to me without it negatively impacting on his other patients. I turn to Grace and she smiles as she knows I am going to ask her something similar.

"Denise, I would be flying in for your graduation in a couple of weeks anyway, so I might as well just stay here until I am sure you are confident at home" she says. I look at Josephine next.

"You didn't sign up for all this when you started dating my dad" I say carefully.

She hugs me tightly, "I wouldn't change a moment of it, your dad and your sisters are all my family and family sticks together!" she says firmly.

**oooOOOooo**

_The next day..._

I have been at home nearly 24 hours now and its going well. During the fortnight that I have been in hospital my father has had some re modelling done of the apartment and we have had another reshuffle. Now my father and Josephine are using the bedroom I had, which my father originally shared with my mother and I am now installed in the guest apartment which my father had converted into a bedroom for himself and more recently Josephine and state of the art office for himself. Now the bedroom in this space is my bedroom, and the small kitchen has been remodelled into a smaller office for my father, he reassures me that it is adequate for his needs and the living area which had been turned into an enclosed room and used as my father's study before is now Byron's nursery so Byron will have his own space when I am ready for him to have it, but at this moment the crib is in my room beside my bed. It never fails to amaze me how my father can get things done so quickly and I know that his wealth and influence goes a long way.

I am sitting in the main living room of our apartment and Byron is happily kicking and cooing as he plays on his activity mat with his toys around him and over him. I watch him enthralled by him. I think back over the past fortnight, after Landon managed to get to me dad had stepped up security so that more people were on hand to handle comfort breaks and no-one was left alone. I felt it was a bit like shutting the door after the horse had bolted really as I was assured Landon was now in jail but dad insisted and when dad insists well...! Brett and Nicky had visited a couple more times and Nicky came alone once, he held Byron and told me I was very brave with what I had gone through and how I was carrying on and dealing with everything. He had looked at my wrists as he had said this and I knew that he knew the damage on them was no accident, but the fact he didn't judge me or call me out on it made me feel secure enough to explain what I had done and everything that had happened.

He had listened without judgement and then he had said he had had a friend in school who had tried to end their life. He had looked at me carefully for a moment and then asked for my phone, I had pulled it from my pocket and handed it to him and he had called up my contacts list and pointed out his name and made me promise to call him if I ever needed anyone to talk to. I had confessed that during the dark time after I had finished school my chats with him had helped more than anything and that they had probably helped to put off the eventual breakdown that I had. He had reiterated that he was my friend and as such he was always there for me and I had been beyond moved at that and thanked him assuring him I would. Since then he had returned to California with Brett but we had kept in contact and I had called him and told him when I was discharged and that Bryon was coming home with me, he had been pleased for me and told me how happy he was that it had all worked out ok.

As I sit here I am thinking about what happens now I am determined that I want to attend my graduation ceremony which is at the end of this month which is now only just over a week and a half away. While I was in hospital I had made notes for my valedictorian speech and I want to try and pull something reasonable together.

My dad is brilliant at giving speeches and he said he would help me. After that I am still deciding what I want to do. Having graduated early I have the luxury of time to sort out what I want and my immediate preference is to take the year I have and spend it with Byron and then this time next year look into going to college. My dad has assured me that he would support whatever I decide to do, but I don't want to look as though I am dumping my son on my family to pursue my own dreams, but at the same time I want to get a good education so I can get a good job to provide for my son, because I don't want to rely on my dad's money and name to live. I have explained this to Josephine and she understands what I am getting at but dad thinks I'm being ridiculous and I should just accept his help.

I hear my Aunt's voice she is talking to Grace and Josephine and I smile, Ireland has been coming to visit me regularly in hospital although her wedding is getting really close, it is next month and I am supposed to be a bridesmaid along with my sisters. She comes breezing in her phone in her hand texting furiously, and she flashes a bright smile at me.

"Hi" she says.

"Hey!" I reply.

"I'm here because we really need to soon go and sort your bridesmaid dress out" she says as she flops down beside me.

I nod, but don't say anything.

"What's up?" she asks noting my silence.

I poke my flabby baby belly and she laughs. "Oh come on Dennie, you are in seriously good shape, nobody would ever believe you had a baby only two weeks ago that is nothing, you are not using that as an excuse to back out, you are going to be my bridesmaid and that's it!" she says firmly.

I smile at her and know she is right.

"Ok, but we still have time don't we? I mean I want to concentrate on my graduation I have to get my speech done and I have Byron to take care of" I say.

Ireland smiles at me, "Of course we have, we have all the time in the world. Everything else is done, you concentrate on you and your graduation that is far more important at this moment as is this little guy" she turns her attention to Byron and picks him up, he reaches for her nose and she presses her lips to his stomach and blows a raspberry on him, I watch as he screws up his legs and kicks wildly then I see him smile, it is a real smile not wind and I stare at him and then at Ireland.

"Do that again" I say.

She does and once again a huge grin appears on his face.

"That's the first time I've seen him properly smile" I say.

"Awww and he smiled for his Aunty Ireland" she says.

**oooOOOooo**

After a busy but reasonably calm day I am grabbing a few moments and sitting going through my notes for my speech, it's the first chance I have had to do so; I have been taking care of Byron and sorting out his nursery with Josephine and Grace's help. I am now sitting frowning as I try and put together something reasonable for my graduation.

Grace has gone back to Uncle Christian's apartment, but made me promise to call her should I need her. Uncle Christian and Aunt Ana flew back to Seattle last night but they are returning for my graduation along with Uncle Elliot, Aunty Kate, Aunty Mia and Uncle Ethan. Carrick is supposed to be flying in at some point this week, to help dad's attorney, Arash with the Landon case. I am worried about seeing him if I am honest, as I am the reason he has been separated from his wife for nearly a month. As I am thinking about things the door opens and l look up to see my father entering.

"Hi dad" I say quietly.

"Hi sweetheart, how are you?" he asks smiling at me as he shrugs out of his jacket and yanks off his tie.

"I'm good, I've been quite busy today sorting out Byron's room, and taking care of him" I say.

He looks at the papers in my hand and the pencil I am tapping on them.

"What do you have there?" he asks nodding towards them.

I hold them up, "These?" I say and he nods, "This is supposed to be my valedictorian speech but I'm not really having much luck with it" I say.

He strolls towards me his hand outstretched and I place the notes in his hand. He sits down and looks through them.

"You have some really good points here, how about after dinner I sit with you and help you put it together?" he asks.

"Thank you" I reply.

He looks around the room. "Where is everyone?" he asks.

"Byron is asleep in his crib, Josephine was in the kitchen last time I looked, Zoe is in her room she was drawing the last time I looked and Liv is in hers doing homework" I say. My father nods and goes to pour himself a drink, the door opens and Josephine walks in and she stops dead as she sees my father standing there.

"Gideon, I didn't hear you come home" she says and I watch as her face lights up at the sight of him, she walks towards him. I continue to watch as he pulls her into his arms and kisses her gently on the lips, Josephine kisses him back and my dad immediately grips her tighter and deepens the kiss and his hands roam restlessly over her body.

"Jeez dad, get a room!" I say after a few moments when they finally come up for air. Josephine blushes furiously and I immediately feel bad for my comment. "I'm sorry, I was just kidding, it's nice to see you guys so in love" I say.

"DADDY!" I hear the shriek and look towards the door as Zoe charges in and throws herself at my dad; he puts down his drink and catches her laughing.

"Hey pumpkin did you have a good day at school?" he asks and she nods at him, Liv appears and smiles at me before greeting dad warmly. Josephine leaves us and heads out of the living room. I watch my dad go to the door and look out before shutting it again and gesturing to my sisters to sit down then he takes the seat opposite them grabbing his drink he gulps it down before looking at us all seriously.

"What's going on dad?" Liv asks immediately on alert. I lean forward and wait wondering what he is going to say.

"I have been thinking about something, it's something I have been considering for a while, and I wanted to run it past you three before I do anything, everything that has happened in the past month has made me realise how much I love Josephine, she has been there for you guys as well as me and well you all know I... I love her. She will never replace your mom, nobody ever could, and I will always love your mom until my dying day, but Josephine makes me happy and I never thought I could have that again, so I want to ask her to marry me, and I want to ask her now we are all home and together again, but before I do I want to make sure you three are ok with that?" he asks and waits staring at us.

I react first and I am on my feet and crossing the floor towards him, he stands and I wrap my arms around him.

"Go for it dad, you deserve to be happy and its obvious to anyone that Josephine makes you happy" I say.

Liv and Zoe join us and Zoe enthusiastically asks if she can be a bridesmaid again my father laughs and assures her she can and then he looks at Liv, I carefully watch her reaction. She was reserved, not resistant but wary when my dad first took up with Josephine but I am relieved when she too gives him her blessing.

He looks relieved and thanks us all profusely, then he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a box, and shows us an exquisite ring he has had especially made and he watches our reaction to it anxiously.

"Do you think she will like it?" he asks nervously.

"Dad it's perfect" Liv says as she puts her hand on his and squeezes. "When are you going to ask her?" She adds.

"Tonight" he replies, "I am taking us all out for dinner" he says.

I shake my head, "No, you need to do this alone with her, not with us there. I take it you have it all planned?" I ask and he nods at me.

"Then you go, just the two of you. You need this anyway after the last month you have hardly spent any time together because of me and my issues, so take her out do your thing and then come home and we can all celebrate and take it from there" I say adamantly. I look at my sisters and my dad glances at them and they nod in agreement.

"You're sure?" he asks hesitantly.

"Yes dad, honestly you don't take your kids with you when you propose to someone! We will be fine, oh and one more thing, make it good. Romantic is the key word here, ok? She deserves it" I say with a grin.

My dad nods and kisses us all and thanks us, then pushing the ring box into his pocket he heads out to the kitchen.

A short while later and Josephine and my dad are ready to go, we watch as she establishes that we are all fine being left behind whilst clearly excited by the fact she is going out to dinner with my dad and that it will just the two of them. I walk up to her and hug her tightly.

"We will be fine, just go and enjoy yourself" I say.

We watch as they both turn to leave and as Josephine exits dad turns to us all and smiles at us and hold up his hand with his fingers crossed. We all giggle and we all give him the thumbs up sign.

"Dad, text us afterwards and let us know" Liv calls and he nods. "Oh and dad" she shouts he pauses and looks questioningly at her, "Good luck!" she says.

My dad smiles again and just before he leaves I run up to him and give him another hug he squeezes me tightly and smiles at me I stand on tiptoe and whisper in his ear, "And one more thing, turn off your phone so you don't get interrupted while you are doing it" I say and I pat my dad on the arm. He nods and then leaves closing the door behind him.

We sit down to some dinner and wait for the text from dad to say the deed has been done, I pray she will say yes, I can't think of any good reason why she would turn him down but I am still nervous.

"She will say yes won't she?" Liv asks suddenly asking the thing I am thinking, I look at her and shrug.

"I don't know, I would assume so. I mean… she loves him, she has told me so many times, but I do know she still loves her late husband very much and I suppose there is always a chance that she might see marrying dad as some kind of betrayal to his memory, but I really don't know. I hope she says yes because dad will be crushed if she turns him down" I say.

"Dad still loves mom though, but surely it's just a case of moving on?" Liv asks.

I look at her carefully, "Everyone is different Liv, they handle grief in different ways. Some people get over things quicker than others but I don't think dad or Josephine have ever really got over the deaths of their other halves because that is exactly what they were, they were the other half of them but by some miracle they met and they both understand the others love for their late partners and they respect that which is why it works so well between them" I say.

Liv stares at me, "Is that how you feel about Josh, that he was your other half?" she asks warily.

I pause and think about that and then I nod, "Yes I believe he was, I loved him with all my heart and I know he loved me, he gave his life protecting me and his son. I couldn't possibly entertain the idea of being with anyone else, apart from the fact it is far too soon. The idea of someone taking Josh's place it just feels wrong, but who knows how I will feel a few years down the line" I say.

Liv nods and we continue to eat in silence. As we are eating the phone rings I quickly answer and it is Uncle Christian.

"Has he asked her yet?" he blurts out without any preliminary greeting.

"Hi Uncle Christian it's good to hear from you too. We are fine thanks, how are you?" I say sarcastically.

I hear my uncle laugh, "Sorry Denise, I apologise for my appalling lack of manners and appropriate greeting! Hello, how are you? I am fine thanks, now has he asked her yet or not?" he says.

I laugh "I don't know" I say, "We made him take her out just the two of them, so we are waiting to find out too. He said he would text us as soon as he had asked her" I stop as the door flies open and Zoe charges towards me waving my cell phone at me, closely followed by Liv who is grinning widely.

"TEXT FROM DAD! READ IT! READ IT! READ IT!" Zoe yells beside herself with excitement. I take my cell phone from her.

"As you probably just heard dad has just text me" I say into the house phone.

"I did, what did he say?" Uncle Christian asks impatiently.

"Hang on" I reply.

I quickly open the text and laughing and crying at the same time I read it, "It says... she said yes" I say between the sobs. I hear the squeals of joy in stereo, from Liv and Zoe and from Uncle Christian's end too.

"Who else is there?" I ask.

"Ana, Mia, Kate and Elliot" he says.

"Am I on speaker?" I ask.

"Yes" he replies.

"Hi guys" I call, and I immediately get a chorus of hellos back.

"Wait, your dad just text me" Uncle Christian says.

"Ok I'll let you go then" I say.

We say our goodbyes and I send a text back to dad sending him our congratulations. Moments later I get a response.

_**Thank you, we will be home soon x**_

**(GIDEON)**

I have not been this nervous in a long while, I think back to my proposal to Eva on the beach at Christian's place in Seattle that was so us and when I made Eva my wife I never ever expected to do it again ever, but the fact I am able to love someone else after losing Eva who was the love of my life is incredible in itself.

I feel a tight knot of anxiety in the pit of my stomach. I have the blessing of my girls, I knew Zoe would be fine and I knew I would get Denise's blessing, I am however relieved and pleased I didn't meet with any resistance from Olivia. I was worried about how she would react to my plans.

I was surprised at Denise saying I should be alone with Josephine when I ask her. I think deep down I wanted it to be just us but I didn't want my girls to feel pushed out; but the fact is they got it and knew it was moment that we should be alone.

I am terrified as we travel to the restaurant, Raul watches me through the rear view mirror and he smiles at me reassuringly.

"Are you alright Gideon, you are very quiet tonight?" Josephine asks me, "Is something bothering you?" she pushes.

I manage a small smile, "It just seems a little strange going out to dinner without my girls" I say, this is partially the truth but my fear that she will turn me down is rising dramatically.

Josephine grips my hand tightly, "It was very kind of them to give us this time alone, we haven't had much time together just the two of us recently" she says "not that I'm complaining" she adds quickly looking worriedly at me.

I touch her cheek; she is so selfless she is worried that I will think badly of her for wanting me to herself.

"Tonight it's just us" I reply, as I say this I feel my phone buzz and I frown.

I reach for it and quickly read the text it is from my father wishing me luck, everyone knows of my plans tonight. I had called Christian earlier and told him and I had also mentioned it to my father. I remember Denise's words and I turn off my phone so we won't be disturbed again. I have promised to let the girls know when I have done it and I am sure Christian will be calling at some point during the evening, but I want this to be perfect".

"Have you just switched your phone off?" Josephine asks watching me carefully and I nod.

"Yes why?" I ask.

"What if Denise needs to contact us?" she asks nervously.

I pause, I hadn't thought of that but she suggested this and she was in a good place when we left. As soon as I have proposed I will put my phone back on again. "She knows I am switching off my phone, and she knows to call Raul, but this evening is all about us" I say and this pacifies Josephine a little.

We arrive at the restaurant and I have booked a private dining room and I have had it filled with Josephine's favourite flowers. I lead her in and the manager greets me warmly, it is one of my restaurants so I can be assured of the best possible service and I am confident everything I have asked for will be in place. Josephine gasps when she sees the room, I have to admit it does look quite stunning, I nod my thanks to the manager and he nods and leaves us alone.

I pull out the chair and Josephine sits down I can tell she is still a little nervous in places like this; it's just something she isn't used to. A waiter arrives and we order some drinks, I am getting more nervous by the second, I have this all planned out but what if she says no?

Our meal is delicious I know Josephine has enjoyed it, she gives a satisfied sigh as she places her knife and fork on her cleared plate and wipes her mouth with her napkin, I smile at her, she eats properly and well now and looks nothing like the emaciated woman I first met.

"You enjoyed that, I can tell" I say with a smile. I cringe at the lame attempt at conversation.

Josephine smiles, "it was lovely" she says.

Ok this is it, I reach across the table and grasp her hand, "Josephine, I want to talk to you. First of all you know how much you mean to me don't you?" I say and then I pause and lick my lips nervously, its coming out all wrong, I am so afraid she will refuse.

Josephine looks at me she can tell I am tied up in knots, and she grips my hand tightly. "Gideon, what's wrong? If this is about everything that has gone on recently I'm fine with it, I know that your girls come first and that is the way it should be, and I love them like my own. There was no question about me stepping up to help when you were at the hospital with Denise, please don't lets rehash this again, I thought I had reassured you about this" she says earnestly.

I shake my head, "No this isn't about that, or them… this is about us" I say.

I see the fear appear in her eyes "What about us? Is there something wrong? You have been so quiet tonight, I knew something was wrong. Are you breaking up with me?" she asks me quietly I stare incredulously at her.

"No!" I say loudly and more sharply than I wanted to, I can't believe she thinks this, "How could you ever think that? I love you, shit I'm fucking this up" I say.

I sigh and without any further comment I stand and get down on my knee beside her fumbling in my pocket for the box. I pull it out and open it showing it to her. "Damn it Josephine I want to marry you!" I say and then I cringe, as Denise's words ringing in my ears, '_make it good, romance is the key word here_'. Well I totally fucked that one up! I pause and then take her hand in mine and try and retrieve the situation.

"I love you Josephine, after I lost Eva I thought I would never have that again" I pause, "Have what we have between us, and I know I never want it to end. I know you feel the same, you still love your late husband and always will but I also know you love me too, so will you do me the greatest honour in the world and agree to be my wife?" I think about what I just said, and replay the words in my head, yeah that sounded pretty reasonable. I wait, I look at her face she looks stunned, the silence stretches out and panic starts to rise and I am convinced that she is going to say no, then suddenly she speaks.

"You... you want to marry me?!" she asks incredulously.

I nod my head, "I do, very much so" I say and I wait again. For fucks sake say... something I think but out loud I say "Well what do you say?"

I watch her swallow and then she touches my face and my heart sinks she is going to say no and she is letting me down gently.

"Gideon, I love you with all my heart you know that… so if you want me which I still can't really get my head around, but if you really want me, then yes I will marry you" she says.

Wait she said yes! Fuck me she said yes! I pull the ring out and push it on to her finger before she can change her mind, then I stand up pulling her up with me and I devour her. I feel her arms going around me as I kiss her frantically.

We come up for air and I hold her close, "Thank you" I gasp, "You have made me so happy" I say.

"I love you Gideon" she says again and I hold her tighter.

"I never thought I could love anyone again after..." she stops and looks up at me, "you are such a good man, beyond the wealth and the material trappings and everything which surrounds you, you _are_ a good man with a beautiful heart and I am awed by the fact that you have chosen me to give it to, I promise you that I will take care of it and treasure it" she says.

I swallow hard what she has said was beautiful and comforting in a strange way and it totally put my words to shame, _that_ was romantic. I hold her to me and kiss her once again. She feels my arousal and she giggles, breaking the kiss she glances down between us at the now noticeable bulge in my trousers.

"Sorry, I can't help it" I say lamely.

She giggles again and runs her hand over it. I shiver at the touch of her hands on me and I close my eyes, "you have no idea how that makes me feel, knowing I do this to you" she says.

"I want to take you home and show you exactly what you do to me" I growl in her ear. I adjust myself, and then I remember that my girls are awaiting my call for the news. I pull out my phone, and I switch it on, immediately I get several missed call alerts and I roll my eyes. I quickly scan them checking that none of them are important, then I open the text app and quickly send a text to Denise's phone.

It's short and to the point - _**she said yes**_

A few moments later I get a reply, _**I knew she would, congratulations dad you both deserve it xx**_

I feel the emotion welling up inside me and I respond with another message to thank her and to assure her we will be home soon.

I remember that others will be awaiting my response too and I send a quick group message to my father, Christian, Christopher and Ireland_, __**I did it and she said yes!**_

I quickly get back congratulatory messages from everyone. I glance across at Josephine and see she is talking on the phone. I listen to the one sided conversation, and I realise she is talking to her mother, I had called her mother earlier to inform her of my plans and she had been emotional and ecstatic about it.

"Yes mom he asked me to marry him... yes... I did... I love him mom... you knew!?... when? I see... it was so romantic mom... we are at a restaurant and he filled a private dining room with all my favourite flowers and he asked me... yes it was perfect, ok mom... I'll talk to you soon and see you soon hopefully... yes... I'll tell him... bye mom" she hangs up and looks at me her eyes shining.

"You spoke to my mom and told her what you were planning" she says I nod and shrug nonchalantly.

She smiles at me, "She sends you her love" she says, I am shocked by that and it must show on my face.

"What?" she asks me.

"I don't know, the fact your mom sends me her love" I say quietly.

Josephine reaches for me, "Because she loves you too, she has seen firsthand what a wonderful man you are. How you helped her when you didn't have to and how you cared when you didn't have to give a damn and she also knows how well you take care of me, because I have told her and she loves you because you make me happy, and that in turn makes her happy" she explains.

We leave the restaurant and Raul is waiting for us he looks at me expectantly and then sees the ring on Josephine's finger and beams widely.

"If I may offer my sincere congratulations sir, ma'am" he says politely. I shake his hand thanking him and Josephine shyly thanks him too. We climb into the car and head home.

When we get home we are ambushed and Josephine gets leapt on and hugged to death by my girls and she stares at them accusingly.

"You all knew what he was planning?" she says.

"YES but it was a secret" Zoe squeals she is beside herself with joy and we all know that she is going to take some calming down.

Denise has her arm tucked in Josephine's and she is admiring the ring, "Was it romantic?" she asks, I hold my breath and watch Josephine carefully as she answers.

She nods her head firmly, "Yes it was, it was so romantic. He made it absolutely perfect I was so shocked but it was lovely I couldn't have wished for anything nicer" she gushes.

I sag with relief, as far as I was concerned I had made a complete mess of it but Josephine thought it was perfect so that is all that matters. I pull out my phone and call Scott. He answers with a polite hello.

"Scott, could you tell the PR department to announce the press release we discussed" I say I watch as everyone's attention turns to me.

"So you are officially engaged?" Scott asks.

"I am indeed Scott, I asked Josephine tonight and she has agreed to be my wife" I say with a surge of pride.

"Congratulations Sir, and if I may say so you deserve it" he says.

"Thank you Scott, I'll leave that in your hands then?" I say.

"Yes Sir, consider it done" he replies.

I thank him and kill the call and then reach out for Josephine's hand, "In about 5 minutes the world will know you are going to be my wife" I say and I watch as she stares at me incredulously.

Liv disappears but returns with her laptop and moments later a ping alerts us to a news report, Liv opens it and nods at me.

"Here we are the first news network has picked up the statement and is running with it" she says and turns the laptop to face me, "Give it an hour and you'll be all over the place" she says with giggle.

I press a kiss to Josephine's lips and I tell her I need to make a call. I go into my study and made a call which is going to be hard. I sit down and I call Victor.

"Hello" I hear Victor's voice and I tense slightly.

"Victor, it's Gideon" I say carefully.

"Hello son how are you?" I close my eyes the warm affection in his voice makes my chest tighten.

"I'm very well thank you, listen Victor I am calling because I have something to tell you" I say I pause for a moment.

"Oh?" he says.

"Yes, erm... I asked Josephine to marry me tonight and she said yes" I say I wait and I wonder what the reaction will be.

"Gideon, I am so pleased for you, she is a very nice lady and you deserve the happiness, you made Eva happy and she said you did more than that for her so I couldn't be happier that you have the chance to be happy again" he says.

I realise I am crying "thank you" I say quietly but I can barely get my words out. "I swear you will still play a big part in our lives, as far as I am concerned you are still my father in law and that will never change. I have always been proud to be your son in law and I don't want anything to change between us. I still want to go on our annual hunting and fishing trips with Ray and Christian, I don't want anything to change" I say earnestly.

"Gideon listen to me, I have always been honoured to be your father in law. You are a good man, and nothing will change between us as far as I am concerned, you are still my son in law and always will be" he says. "Congratulations to you both – have you set the date yet?" he asks.

"No, we have to discuss that, it won't be for a while, as my sister Ireland is getting married in a few weeks time and I don't want to steal her thunder by setting date too soon and we have Denise's graduation the week after next - which reminds me I'll send you the details for your flight to New York in the next couple of days, and we are still getting Denise stable again not to mention having Byron here now and there is Josephine's mother's health issues, so we are going to discuss it and see what we want to do" I say.

"Alright, well congratulations and good luck to you both" Victor says again.

I thank him and kill the call. I sit thinking about what I have done, Josephine is so different from Eva, Eva was used to the money and attention, her mother had always had money and married money so Eva was used to wealth and the influence and status it provides, but Josephine seems intimidated by it and doesn't like the trappings. She is so like Ana in that respect, money and wealth just doesn't interest her. I hope I can persuade her to have the wedding of her dreams though as I want her to have whatever she wants.

I head out and find Josephine with my girls talking, Denise is feeding Byron and they are talking weddings.

"What sort of wedding do you want?" Liv asks.

I see Josephine think, "I'd like a small wedding, not too much fuss – just family and close friends but because of who your father is I'm sure he will want something much grander, but I am prepared to go along with whatever he wants, after all it's his day too" she says. As I hear this, my heart swells and I walk in making myself known that I have heard every word.

"Josephine if you want a small intimate wedding then that is exactly what you will have, however you want it its yours" I say firmly.

She stares at me "but" she begins.

I shake my head and sit down beside her, grasping her hand. "When I married Eva it was just me and Eva, we flew to Vegas and married at one of my hotels. Christian and Ana were there via Facetime on our phones and the hotel manager and Angus – an old friend of mine were our witnesses. When we renewed our vows for our family they were all who were there, so if you don't want a big wedding then that is absolutely fine by me. I'll say it again, whatever you want it's yours" I say.

Josephine wraps her arms around me and hugs me tightly. "Thank you" she replies.

"My pleasure baby" I say softly and kiss her gently on the lips.


	39. Chapter 39

CHAPTER 39

We are all celebrating the fact Josephine has consented to be my wife. At this moment I am the happiest man alive. I am here with my family around me and my fiancée at my side. Shortly after Josephine and I arrived back at home, our home started to fill with people. Grace arrived, as did my father and a short while later Ireland and Gareth arrived and then Christopher turned up as well. Christian and Ana joined us from Seattle via Skype and I also caught glimpses of Elliot, Mia and Kate in the background at Christian's home.

Everyone is in high spirits I look around the room and my eyes fall on Denise who is talking animatedly with Ireland and it makes me happy to see it. As I watch her I remember I had promised to help her put together her valedictorian speech. I will make sure I get to talk to her about that when everyone is gone.

I look at my fiancée and I decide that I also want to fly my girls out to Lafayette to meet Josephine's mother, at some point my family seemed to have swallowed her up and I don't want her to feel her family is being ignored or are perceived by us as less important.

As I am thinking about family my phone buzzes and I reach into my pocket for it and I glance at the screen. I immediately go cold when I see the name Elizabeth on the screen, I don't want to talk to my mother so I reject the call and push my phone back into my pocket. Moments later the house phone rings and Denise who is closest absently picks it up and her reaction tells me my mother has called this number. She looks at me holding out the phone the distress evident on her face. I stride towards her and taking the receiver from her hand I simply hang up without saying a word and pull Denise into my arms.

"It's ok" I whisper to her.

"It was her" she says to me.

"I know, she called my cell phone first. I'm sorry I didn't mean for you to have to speak to her" I say mentally kicking myself for allowing that to happen. Grace and Josephine are immediately beside us.

"Denise what's wrong?" Josephine asks.

"Elizabeth" she says simply. But to her credit she shakes it off and is soon in a good mood again.

The celebrations come to an end as people start to drift away and soon it is just Josephine, myself and my daughters here. Zoe has gone to bed and Olivia says goodnight and disappears. Denise has just finished feeding Byron and is busy getting him ready for bed, when the intercom buzzes. I answer it and it is the front desk informing me that my mother is asking to come up. I tell them to send her away and that she is under no circumstances to be granted access and that if she doesn't go quietly to call the police. I hang up and head back into the living room.

"Dad, just go and see her face to face, see what she wants" Denise says.

I shake my head, "No" I say firmly.

"I'll come with you" Denise offers.

"Definitely not, you know that she has a restraining order in place she isn't allowed near you" I say more forcefully.

"Dad, listen to me" Denise protests.

"I said no, now drop it" I snap.

Denise glares at me, and she picks up Byron and places him into my arms, "Fine I'll go by myself" she says.

I see Josephine quickly stand follow my daughter out of the room I can hear her trying to reason with Denise about facing my mother again. Then I hear Olivia's voice and the next thing the door opens. Shit she has gone down and I am left holding the baby – literally.

**(DENISE)**

I know I have probably just pissed my dad off completely. I am banking on the fact he won't leave Byron alone as a reason he won't come after me, I knew he didn't want to see her again but I feel the need to do this after our last confrontation at the restaurant with Landon which caused my monumental breakdown I need to do this. Josephine is by my side as is my sister and neither of them seem to think this is a good idea and they are both trying to talk me out of it. I look at Liv, she had come out of her room and asked me what I was doing and I had told her and a determined expression had filled her face and she demanded that she come down as well.

I know they are both worried about how I am going to handle this but I have do it. We walk into the foyer and Pete one of the night desk clerks stares at us as we march purposefully up to the desk. Elizabeth is standing defiantly waiting with her arms folded. I have my cell phone in my hand as I am going to call the cops because she is violating the restraining order just by being here but first I want to have my say.

"What do you want?" I snap rudely and Elizabeth turns and stares at me, unease flickering in her eyes and she takes a step back. Vindictively I walk towards her, for every step I take towards her she takes a step back, and it must look quite comical and Liv confirms this by starting to laugh.

"Denise please, I just want to talk to my son" Elizabeth whines.

I shake my head, "Sorry dad doesn't want to speak to you, and if I'm not mistaken just being here is breaching the restraining order we have against you, which was recommended by the Child Protection Services so now you have two seconds before I call the cops, which I think is just enough time for me, my sister and my step mother to let you know that you are not welcome here - ever, dad considers you dead to him, I consider you dead, hell we all consider you dead, so turn your bony ass around and sling your hook and don't ever darken our doorway again. If that isn't clear enough I'll call the cops and they can explain it to you again, I lift my cell phone up.

"Wait... no, I'm going" she says and without another word she turns and sadly leaves.

"Bye!" Liv calls facetiously.

I head back to Josephine and she pulls me into a tight hug, "Are you ok?" she asks me.

I nod, "I never felt better" I reply.

We head back upstairs and as the elevator doors open dad is standing there waiting holding my sleeping son. I take Byron from his arms and grin at my dad.

"She's gone" I say. My dad searches my expression and I reach out and put my hand on his arm, "I'm fine honestly dad, let me put this little guy to bed and then are you going to help me with my speech?" I ask.

I see my dad relax and nod his head and we silently walk back into the apartment.

**oooOOOooo**

_A week and a half later..._

"Just look at you!" I am embraced in a crushing hug as my grandfather wraps his muscular arms around me.

"Thank you for flying in for my graduation" I say to my grandfather who is here from California.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world, I am so damn proud of you" he replies. He plays with the tassel on my mortar board hat for a moment and then shakes his head. "It doesn't seem like five minutes ago I was attending Eva's High School graduation" he says.

He visibly shakes himself and smiles at me. I feel a tap on my shoulder and turn to see Uncle Christian standing there holding his arms open to me and grinning widely.

"Hi" I say as I walk into his arms, Aunty Ana joins us and hugs me too.

"I'm going to be hugged to death today I think!" I say, as I glance around the room at the huge crowd of people all here for me.

Everyone is here and I am shocked if I am honest. Granddad Victor, Uncle Christian and Aunt Ana I expected to be here, I knew they were coming and Grandma and Carrick are here because they were already here in New York, but I am totally gob smacked that Uncle Ray and Aunt Denise have flown in from Detroit and Uncle Elliot, Aunty Kate, Aunty Mia and Uncle Ethan are all here too. As we are waiting Granddad Chris arrives with Uncle Christopher and then finally Aunty Ireland and Gareth arrive. My dad rolls his eyes and makes a point of looking at his watch as Ireland rushes in flustered and apologising profusely for being late.

"I find it ironic the person who has the least distance to travel is the last person to arrive" my dad says sardonically.

"Shut up Gideon" Ireland says with a grin, "I'm here now" she adds and then she too hugs me tightly.

"Are we all ready then?" my dad asks.

There is a general murmur of agreement and we all head out. When we arrive at school everyone looks around at us arriving on mass. Everyone else has two or three family members whereas I have a crowd.

I am led off to where I am supposed to sit when I hear my name being called and I see my maternal grandmother, Monica Stanton and her husband Richard. She smiles at me and hugs me, it is slightly awkward as they are essentially strangers to me but I smile politely and thank them for coming. They tell me they wouldn't miss it for the world and then they turn away to go and sit down.

I turn away to take my seat and as I do so I see a familiar face arrive and speak to my father. My breath catches and I can't take my eyes off him. Nicky Kline, what on earth is he doing here? I had mentioned to him about my graduation, when we had one of our regular chats and he had wished me luck. He also mentioned he would be in New York at some point for something to do with his album. It appears he has timed his visit with my graduation, I dismiss that thought as ridiculous he wouldn't do that – why would he? We talk regularly and have done ever since I gave him my number for him to let me know how he got on with his first meeting with my dad. He was the only person when I was rapidly spiralling downwards that I made the effort to speak to, albeit on a superficial level. Since I left the hospital we make a point of talking regularly at least once or twice a week and I look forward to our calls and to hearing what he is doing, he is a good friend and he has never judged or condemned me for what I did.

I realise that the principal is talking to me telling me where to go as he points to my seat and says my name, damn it I am stuck up here when I want to go and say hello to him. As I am thinking this Nicky looks up and makes eye contact with me. He smiles and nods at me and mouths the words 'hello' and 'good luck', I smile back before I sit down. I watch where he goes and I see he goes and sits with my family.

I look along the row of seats which my family have commandeered and I see Raul, Paul, Davis and Andy are also present along with several other members of my dad's security team who have known me all my life. Also sitting there are Jason, Gail and Luke. This moves me nearly to the point of tears and I am touched that they wanted to be here. I had expected Jason to be here as Uncle Christian doesn't go anywhere without him, but the fact Luke and Gail are here too has blown me away. I look along the line and see Phoebe is also here and she is sitting with Liv. She looks up and smiles widely at me and gives me a little wave. I had been worried about seeing her wondering how much she hated me for the fact her mom and dad had left her behind and spent so much time in New York recently but she has been fine. Ava and Lucas are also here with Uncle Elliott and Aunty Kate as are as are Aunty Mia's children the twins Aiden and Andrew and their daughter Abbie, who has grown dramatically. Then I see Richard Stanton and Monica. I watch as they stiffly greet my dad and take their seat slightly apart from the rest of my family.

I watch proceedings, my mind wandering at times as the Principal speaks he drones on for a while and then I realise he is talking about me.

"Now I have great pleasure in introducing this year's Valedictorian, this young lady has not only graduated this year but she has also graduated over a year early and had to contend with various personal issues in her life including giving birth to her son just a few weeks ago. We are very pleased that after the hard work she has put in to get to this point she is able to join us today. I give you this year's Valedictorian Miss Denise Cross". There is a round of applause as the Principal gestures towards me.

This is it… I stand up and walk over to the podium, I am shitting myself here. I scan the audience and amongst the sea of faces I find my dad and focus on him, he looks straight at me and he is holding Byron in his arms he manoeuvres him so he is higher up on his chest and I can now see my son clearly. I smile, he knows this will help. I quickly look at all my family, dad had said I had everything that I wanted to say when he helped me with the speech but he helped me put it altogether into something which made sense and not just a load of notes. I look down and taking a deep breath I begin to speak.

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to this year's graduation ceremony. Well… here it is, the day we have worked towards since the moment we started school. Graduation, a milestone in everyone's life and a time for reflection on the past and a time to look forward to the future. Not one of us would be here today if it wasn't for, first and foremost ourselves and hard work and dedication we have put into our time in school, but also the people around us who have helped and supported us on that journey so I would like to express my appreciation to all of my teachers, friends, and most importantly for me personally, my family members who have tirelessly helped me to get to where I am right now - which at this precise moment is standing here in front of you. It is something which just a few weeks ago, seemed to be out of the question". I pause and swallow deeply.

"I would also like to thank the administration for providing me with the opportunity to be fast tracked to graduation, for their support and encouragement not only to graduate but to graduate early. High school can be intimidating. But it can also be a place for growth. For me it was a place where I found myself. I had the opportunity to share ideas, passions, and strengths. When I first came to this school I was a bit apprehensive. I mean my dad isn't the shy retiring sort and I have numerous rather notorious family members" I glance at Uncle Christian as I say this and he grins at me.

"I found most of my life having the surname Cross isn't always a good thing, but I found people here on the whole were kind and accepted me for me not what my name is and who my father is and as such I grew and I matured and I thrived here. Most of you know I have faced numerous challenges recently but I have had nothing but support from my peers and from staff, it became clear during what was a very trying period for me that my classmates were compassionate and respectful. This graduation class are a bunch of highly talented people. Every person here today should be very proud of their achievements and the people you have become during your time at High School. Everyone in this graduation year is important and everyone is necessary in some way or another, who knows what the future holds for us? Take a look around you, you may be sitting next to a future President, or who knows, the future president of the United States could be you". I pause and take a drink of the water next to me, before I continue.

"We have all been given opportunities in a safe and happy environment, and for that reason I believe that we can overcome any obstacle and we should, because if we don't we are wasting our potential. It is time now to set goals for your future. Before you can do that, however, you need a vision. A dream for what you want out of life and for your future. Over the next few years we will all take very different paths, some of us may end up at a college or trade school. You may begin working full-time or even start a family, some of us may combine more than one path, I know I will. No matter what your dream is for the future, you can get there with the dedication, determination, and focus that you have learned while here at this very high school. We are responsible for our own futures and what we make of our lives; we will all make a difference even in small and sometimes seemingly insignificant ways. But in the process of doing that and making your mark on the world always remember where you came from and where that journey started, which is right here, right now, and most importantly of all always remember and never lose sight of who you are, where you are going and your goals and aims in life. Congratulations, graduates and good luck. Thank you".

I relax and go to step away, I am astonished by the reaction, everyone is clapping, not only that they are all standing up. I expected my family to do this but every person in this room is standing and clapping me. I look around in surprise and then go and retake my seat.

The ceremony comes to an end and I am once again embraced within my family, Nicky walks up to me and places a sweet kiss on my cheek.

"Hi what are you doing here?" I ask.

He snorts with laughter, "That's nice, a guy flies across the country to see his friend graduate high school and that's the best you can come up with!" He says.

I laugh, "You know what I mean" I protest and I shove his shoulder playfully.

He nods, "I know I'm just playing with you. I'm in New York sorting stuff out for my album and I timed the visit so I could see you graduate, you don't mind me turning up and gate crashing do you?" he asks.

I shake my head, "No not at all, I was just surprised to see you that's all; did Brett fly out with you?" I ask.

Nicky shakes his head, "No, he was supposed to but he got sick and he is at home recuperating at the moment" he says.

"Oh my god, he's ok isn't he?" I ask immediately filled with concern.

Nicky nods, "Yeah, appendicitis but he's fine, it'll take more than that to keep him down" Nicky says with a grin.

My father walks up and puts his arm around me, "Ready to go?" he asks.

I look up at him and nod and then he turns his attention to Nicky. "We are all going out for lunch would you like to join us?" he asks.

Nicky looks at my father in surprise, "Erm... I don't want to intrude" he says.

My dad shakes his head, "Nonsense, you are more than welcome to join us" he insists.

Nicky smiles and nods, "Well then thank you, I graciously accept" he says.

We head to Tableau One and Arnoldo is waiting for us, we have practically taken over the entire restaurant. He greets us all and he takes Byron from my arms and speaks to him fondly in Italian.

Soon we are all seated and I look around, my entire family is here every person in this room no matter what their surnames are, is my family. I look at everyone. We are family because we made it that way, not through any blood links, the man I call granddad has no biological link to my dad, yet my dad has always looked upon Chris Vidal as his father for as long as I've been around. Grace has no biological link to anyone but she is unquestionably my grandmother and my father's mother and that is because of the love and compassion she showed him when he discovered his biological link to her adopted son. Uncle Elliot and Aunt Mia count themselves as my father's other siblings only because of my dad's link with Uncle Christian but nobody would ever question or argue about it. Then there is Ray and Denise. Ray isn't Aunty Ana's biological father but he is and always will be her dad. So here we are a mismatch of people brought together by circumstances and fate but just let anyone try and hurt or come between any one of us and we come together as one and face whatever life throws at us – as family.

I look down at my son, I was upset that he would never know his father personally. I will make sure Josh's memory lives on and I will tell my son about his father and make sure he realises every day what a wonderful man he was, but my son won't miss out as he has an army of male role models to look up and who will not think twice about stepping up and supporting and guiding him through life.

With a sudden startling clarity I realise everything is going to be ok. I am going to get my act together and be the parent Byron deserves and that there is nobody in this room who will let any outside forces interfere with that. As this realisation fills me I feel the need to say something.

"Josephine... would you mind?" I ask offering my son to her. She beams at me and eagerly holds out her arms. I stand and everyone's attention immediately turns towards me.

"Erm, I just want to say a few words… don't worry I will keep it brief, but I feel I need to say something. I have just looked around the table at everyone who has taken time out of their busy lives to come here today – for me. I am beyond humbled and thankful that you all have done this, and then it hit me why, because _that_ is what we do for family – for the people we love. We put ourselves out and we make the effort, but what makes that all the more remarkable is that we are not the most conventional of families. Hell most of us are not even biologically related but that doesn't make the blindest bit of difference because of one thing, one very important thing and that's love.

We all love and care about each other and that is what makes us a strong unit that is what makes us a family. It doesn't matter if our surname is Cross, Grey, Vidal, Reyes, Kavanagh or Steele it's irrelevant what matters most is that we all know that should we need help, all we have to do is pick up the phone and the call will be answered. We will be there for each other through the good times and the bad and that makes me feel... good, really good. Today we are celebrating my graduation in a few weeks we will be altogether again celebrating Ireland's wedding then there will be other occasions - my dad will be getting married again soon and we will have birthdays, christenings, weddings… and yes we will also have funerals but no matter what life throws at us we will face it together as family".

I sit down and I see the stunned faces around me and then everyone breaks into spontaneous applause.

The meal comes to an end and Nicky walks up to me, "Denise can I talk to you?" he asks me.

I nod, "Sure what's up?" I ask.

"I was moved beyond words at what you said about your family, and I just wanted you to know that if you ever need anything you can also count on me. I want to say something I want you to listen to me but I don't want you to make a big thing about it, I don't want you to get upset or worried or anything and you can just put it away. I don't want to make a big deal about it and I don't want to freak you out, but..." he stops.

"What?" I ask.

He takes a deep breath, "I know this is probably a really inappropriate thing to say now at this moment in time but I like you Denise, I mean I _really_ like you, I think you are an awesome girl, what you have achieved and what you have been through".

I go to speak but he holds up his hand, "Wait I'm not done, I know you are not ready to hear this, I know you are still grieving for Josh, and I know that it is probably really selfish of me to say all this, but I feel that I have to say it because I'm losing my mind and I need to tell you, but hell... shit... I'm in love with you".

My mouth drops open and I just stare stupidly not knowing what to say to that, Nicky is watching me carefully and he can see I am completely flabbergasted by this so he continues to speak.

"I know you don't feel the same way, and that's fine it really is and I really don't want to ruin the friendship that we have by saying this, or make you feel you are under any pressure or uncomfortable and I certainly don't want you to start over-thinking this and worrying about it but I just needed you to know that fact. I am happy to just be your friend and that's it you can put it away now, you don't need to do anything about it and if I have ruined our friendship by opening my big mouth then I'm truly sorry" he stops as the silence spreads out between us, and I just stand there my mind blank, I am at a complete loss.

"Look I'll just go now" he says.

"Wait" I say and I reach out and grab his arm. "Thank you, wow... erm I mean... wow" I say lamely. I try and gather my thoughts, "I love you too... but at the moment it's just as a _really_ good friend, I'm just not capable of anything more than that at the moment" I say.

Nicky nods and pulls me into a hug, "I know, and I am fine with that and it was selfish of me to say anything but I just needed you to know, are we still friends?" he asks warily.

I grin at him, "You bet we are!" I say. I feel the tears starting to flow and he pulls me away from him and looks at me with concern.

"Awww shit I've upset you" he moans.

I shake my head, "No, these are happy tears" I say.

Nicky smiles at me, "Sure?" he asks nervously.

I nod, "Positive" I reply.

**oooOOOooo**

_One Month later..._

I am sitting comfortably and I am in the place where I know I am safest. I'm sitting next to my father and he has his arm wrapped around my shoulder and my head is resting against him. At this point in time we are alone. We are on dad's plane and it is taking us to Indiana where we are all going to meet Josephine's mother before continuing on to Seattle to see Uncle Christian and Aunty Ana.

Liv and Zoe are in their rooms asleep and Josephine has crashed on the other sofa. The only other person in the sitting room is Byron who is asleep in his carrier. Josephine is excited about this trip as she is eager to introduce us to her mother who is doing well now that dad is paying for her care, it shocked me when dad told me how Josephine was practically destitute when he first met her, giving everything she had to try and save her mother. I have heard her talking to her mother on the phone a few times and her conversations are always filled of how much she thinks of me, Byron and my sisters as well as my dad of course.

I am quiet, thinking about the last month it has once again been somewhat of a rollercoaster but I coped with it and I am proud of myself for that fact alone. There were happy times, really happy times, Ireland's wedding and my birthday were both fantastic, the whole family came together for Ireland's wedding and it was truly a magical day although I think Gareth was a little overwhelmed by it all. Elizabeth had stayed away which had surprised us as we had expected some kind of gesture from her but nothing happened which was a relief to everyone, it appears that she has finally got the message that nobody wants her.

I didn't want any fuss for my birthday, and my dad paid attention and did as I asked. I just wanted a quiet family day with my dad, Josephine, my sisters and my son. That is exactly what we did and it was fabulous. Nicky called me and wished me a happy birthday and I got greetings from other family members and it was a nice day. Then at the beginning of this week Ireland came back from honeymoon and insisted on taking me shopping. She wanted to buy Byron some more stuff I had protested and said that he had more stuff now than a department store, but Aunty Ireland doesn't take no for an answer. I had used the excuse of having no baby sitter for Byron. Grace had returned to Seattle after my graduation and I didn't want to put on anyone to take care of Byron for me. Unfortunately Josephine had overheard and stepped in saying she would watch Byron for me and that it would do me good to get out and enjoy myself with Ireland, so finding myself totally outnumbered I had agreed and gone, and that is when it had all gone wrong, my wanders back to a few days ago...

_"Ok, I have expressed enough milk for two feeds, but I will be back before then" I say adamantly. Ireland is impatiently tutting at me and tapping her foot and I glare at her. "Look I can always stay here!" I snap._

_Josephine pulls me into a hug, "Look everything will be fine, Byron will be fine with me, I promise you I will take good care of him, go out with Ireland and enjoy yourself, you need to take a break" she says._

_I nod, if I am honest I am looking forward to this, but my maternal instincts are making me anxious. I quickly run through the list of do's and don'ts and Josephine patiently listens to me and hears me out._

_"Ok I'm going, I have my phone on and if anything happens call me" I stress and Josephine nods. I take a deep breath and glance at my son who is happily kicking and cooing on his mat._

_"Go on just go!" Josephine says flapping her hands at me and I smile and leave the penthouse with Ireland._

_"Finally!" my aunt says with a dramatic roll of her eyes._

_"You'll understand when you have kids" I retort and she smiles at me, but doesn't say anything._

_Ireland can shop, the term shop till you drop has to have originated with her, she is so focussed. I have to admit I have missed this; I haven't done anything like this since Jenny died. Liv isn't a big shopping fan and Zoe is too young, so it's nice to do this and slowly I start to relax and enjoy myself._

_We are just stepping out of the mall when Ireland's phone rings buzzes she stops and I bump into her._

_"For god's sake Aunty Ireland, don't just stop!" I say._

_"What? Oh sorry its Mia" she says and starts texting as she does so I look up and I go cold directly across from us walking along is Ryan Landon, he looks up and sees me and I see the surprise as he registers it is me and then an evil grin fills his face and he stop walking. I feel the panic rise in me as he looks at me and I try and hold the rising fear and panic in._

_"Ireland I have to go" I mutter, she is still pre occupied with the text conversation she is having with Mia and she just nods and raises her hand at me without lifting her gaze from her phone screen._

_I look again and Landon is gone, but this freaks me out even more and I franticly look around myself. Ireland seems to sense something is wrong and she pushes her phone away._

"_Denise?" she says carefully._

"_I have to go" I say again and she nods and hails me a cab, she looks at me carefully and kisses my cheek as I climb in._

_"Take me to the Crossfire as quick as you can" I demand and the driver nods and pulls out into the busy New York traffic. I must look upset as he keeps glancing at me through the rear view mirror, I can feel the tears threatening and I am breathing heavily all I can think of is get to my father he will know what to do._

_When the cab pulls up outside the crossfire I quickly pay and run inside, I have worked myself up into a complete state but I suddenly think of my son at home alone with Josephine what if Landon goes there? All sorts of scenarios go through my mind and the overwhelming fear and panic sets in. __I am almost hysterically afraid; all I can think of is getting to my father. I know that he will make everything alright, and he will protect me. _

_I run into the Crossfire building, the security guards stand as they see me burst through the doors and I look at them. They instantly recognise me and one immediately picks up the phone. I run towards the elevator and as the doors open, I fumble as I try and plug in the key which my father gave me and which will take me to the top of the Crossfire and to him._

_The elevator doors open and I am immediately granted access to Cross Industries but I don't even stop to give the astonished receptionist a glance, I just want my daddy. I run down corridors and I am sobbing, the tears are making me almost blind and I am finding my way by instinct rather than sight. I am panting and my lungs feel like they are on fire and people are staring at me as I reach the executive offices. My father's assistant Scott stands as I approach and goes to pick up his phone. I look towards the glass walled office and I skid to a halt. The glass is clear and I can see my father presiding over a meeting, the man who I love more than anything or anyone in the world. My dad, I calm slightly as I see him. He looks up and as he sees me I see concern on his face, he immediately excuses himself and walks towards the door._

_"DADDY!" I yell as he opens the door and I rush towards him._

_I am a hot mess, my make up smudged and my hair is a mess and tears are pouring down my cheeks and I have totally lost control of myself and the temporary calm I felt when I saw him has now evaporated. He comes striding out of his office and looks panic stricken as I throw the bags I am carrying to the ground and run towards him and I fling myself at him clinging to him and gripping his shirt tightly. He immediately wraps his arms around me and practically carries me to the sofa in his office and the men who he was meeting with quietly leave the room. He sits down with me still sobbing bitterly in his arms._

_"What's happened?" he asks, and I hear the fear and panic in his voice._

_I can tell he is trying hard to contain his panic, and I know I need to start speaking and telling him why I am here and why I am in the state I am in. I know that when I do tell him he will make everything alright again as I have faith in my dad… he will make everything ok, he always does._

_I look up into his face and the tears are still flowing freely, "He's back, I saw him daddy, I was coming out of the mall with Aunty Ireland and he was there watching me, I know it was him daddy, I am scared, why has he come back, he was in jail I thought I was safe, he was gone?" _

_The words all tumble out in a rush. I know that I am rambling and words are just spilling haphazardly from my mouth. I shiver as I remember and the fear consumes me again and I bury my head in my father's chest and I feel him stiffen. I know that the fact he is back will hurt my dad too, and my dad doesn't deserve to be hurt any more, he has been through enough these past few years to last him a life time and I have caused him so much pain. I feel him tighten his grip on me and he gently rubs my back. This is slowly calming me down and the sobs which are still wracking me start to lessen and then he pauses and reaches into his pocket and pulls out his cell phone._

_"Raul, I need you here now... he's back" he says tightly and then he hangs up. _

_He returns his attention back to me, "Denise, look at me sweetheart, you need to tell me and Raul everything you remember and you need to calm down. I promise you that man will not hurt you ok?!" he says._

_I nod and I look up into the astonishingly blue eyes so like my own and I see the love my father has for me, and it immediately makes me feel calm and with a big sniff I rest my head against his chest._

_"Thank you daddy" I whisper as I continue to cling to man who I love with all my heart, the man who I know will never let me down._

_A few moments later Raul appears. I look up and see the compassion in his eyes as he sits down beside us. I am still curled up on my father's lap I tell him everything I saw and remember._

_"Don't worry, we won't let him hurt you," Raul reassures me, I nod, but I can't help but worry as he has been a thorn in my side for so long. I look up at my dad; he has been a bigger thorn in my dad's side. My dad has had to endure his drip feed of vengeance and negativity since before I was born. _

_"Did your Aunt Ireland see him?" my father asks._

_I shake my head, "no she was texting Aunty Mia at the time" I say with a genuine smile. I love my Aunty Mia. Since mom died both Aunty Ireland and Aunty Mia have been there for me, my dad has been brilliant but sometimes a girl needs a female perspective. My mind travels to Aunty Ana as well, although she lives the other side of the country in Seattle but I know if I was to call her at any time day or night she would be there for me and just knowing that is a comforting thought._

_I look up at my father, I am calm now and he looks down at me and brushes his hand through my hair, and then he takes my wrists and touches the pink scars there. Running his thumb along them and my heart almost breaks at the sadness in his eyes. He is afraid of what the return of this man could mean…_

_"When are we going to stay with Uncle Christian and Aunty Ana?" I ask quickly to try and move my father's thoughts on to more positive territory._

_He sighs, "Well, I was planning on flying out at the end of the week the school breaks up for the summer, but I suppose I could call my brother and see if we could bring it forward, if you wanted to go sooner, I could always fly you to Seattle and I wait and follow with Liv and Zoe when school breaks up?" he says, he looks at me questioningly._

_I think about it and shake my head and pulling him closer "No that's ok daddy I can wait a few days" I say._

_I feel him relax, I know he didn't want to send me off ahead to Seattle but was prepared to put his feelings aside if that was what I wanted and I love him for that, he always thinks of us first._

_I gently push myself away from him. "I'm sorry I disrupted your meeting" I say quietly._

_My father searches my face and shakes his head. "Never apologise, you and your sisters always come first, Ok" he says, I nod, but I still feel bad for my meltdown. _

_"I am so proud of you Denise everything you have been thought these past few years, you have had to grow up so quickly" he says sadly._

_I wrap my arms around him, "I love you daddy" I say._

_He stands and folds me into his arms, "I love you too" he says and he presses a kiss to my head._

_"I need to get home to Byron" I say, and the panic rises again, "What if Landon has gone to the apartment?" I grip my father's arms._

_He shakes his head "Denise, be rational, think about it, he won't get past the desk. They know if he was to turn up at the apartment that the police would be called immediately" he says._

_This immediately makes me feel better. I nod and I quietly thank him…_

"Denise, what are you thinking about?" my father's question pulls me from my thoughts.

I look up at him and smile, "Just thinking about the other day that's all" I regret saying that when I see worry cloud my father's face, he pulls me closer and I wrap my arm around his waist, "I'm fine honestly it was just a shock seeing him again that's all" I say.

"I know, we should have been told he had been released, we are still trying to find out why and how, but the fact he approached you again proves he doesn't care but don't worry he got picked up after I called and informed them what he had done" he says.

"He didn't really approach me, he was walking across the other side of the road and saw me" I say.

My dad shakes his head, "and he stopped and made you feel uncomfortable, if it was totally innocent after he saw you he should've just carried on walking, he didn't he stopped and made a point of making it clear he had seen you" he says firmly.

"Will there be a trial?" I ask.

"Possibly, he has been too much of a nuisance and if we want him out of our lives completely it will be the only way, but the stack of evidence we have against him, going back to the confrontation you had with him when he was trying split you and Josh up, the fact the CPS feel he is a danger to you and Byron and the fact he is responsible for your breakdown makes me believe we won't have any difficulty securing a conviction" he says confidently.

I nod I want to change the subject, I look at my son and then my gaze wanders to Josephine. "Josephine is excited about this trip" I say.

I feel my father relax and I look up at him and he is smiling at the mention of her, "She is, we should have done this before now. I feel we have consumed her sometimes and I don't want her to think our family is more important than hers, especially after everything she has done supporting us" he says.

I nod my head, "We have monopolised her a little over the past few months with everything that has happened and most of that is down to me and I'm sorry" I say.

"Don't be" he says.

"You really love her don't you?" I ask.

"I do" he pauses, "I still love your mom please don't ever think I don't, its different with me and Josephine, we both love someone else as much we love each other, we respect the memory of our dead partners and they will always have a place in our hearts, but the fact we have found each other and given each other something which we thought we would never have again... its special" he says.

I nod, "When you marry her are you planning on having a baby with her?" I ask.

I feel him tense again, "I'd like to… but I'm not sure" he says eventually. "She is still young enough to safely have a child and I'm not totally over the hill but there are a lot of things to consider" he says.

"Like what?" I ask.

"Like you, Liv and Zoe to start with, the last thing I want is for you three to think I am making a new family and pushing you out. I know how that felt when my mother started her new family with Chris, then we already have a young baby in the house I don't feel it would be a good idea to produce another one while Byron is demanding our attention, it wouldn't be fair on anyone" he stops.

"I'm sorry" I say again as I realise that once again my mistakes are impacting on other people's lives.

My dad pushes me away from him so he can look me in the eye. "Hey, never apologise for Byron, he is my grandson and I love him, Josephine loves him and he isn't going to be a baby forever we have plenty of time to consider our options, I just want to concentrate on my grandson for a while, do you understand what I am trying to say?" he asks.

I nod, "I think so" I say.

"When are you thinking about getting married?" I ask.

"Hopefully soon" he replies, and I see him smile as he thinks about it. "This is partly the reason for this trip I want to talk to Josephine's mother about the wedding. I don't want her to feel like the poor relation but I also want to give Josephine the wedding of her dreams" he says.

I nod, "She has very simple tastes you know, we were talking about it, she said she wanted something which combined everything you both are, she said she wanted to incorporate a beach somehow because of your love of beaches and as kind of a homage to mom because that is where you proposed to her, and she also wants to incorporate Central Park somehow as a nod to her husband but she doesn't want anything flashy and even though she knows the sky is the limit when it comes to the budget I'm not sure she realises exactly how high that is". I say as I recall conversations I have had with Josephine.

I watch my father look across at his sleeping fiancée, "she is so sweet, generous and loving, she is such a purely good person, I just want to give her the world" he says.

I think he has stopped speaking but then he continues, "She is so different from your mother, and yet also so similar, your mother was so headstrong she didn't give me an inch, she challenged me but she was also the first person who fought for me, and I will always love her for that. Josephine has a totally different personality, she is almost submissive. Yet she is very similar to your mother, I know she will do anything for me, she has shown that by the unwavering support she has given us all, I want to show her that I will do the same for her".

"You already have, you saved her mom's life, that was huge for her, and the fact you gave her a job after she had turned down Uncle Christian, she expected to be made redundant and she was terrified at what would happen to her mother if that happened, but you gave her a job and she knows that you didn't need anyone... she told me that she overheard people talking, making comments about her when she started working at Cross Industries and put two and two together".

I watch as my father's head whips around and he fixes his gaze on me "She didn't tell me that, why didn't she tell me?" he asks.

I place my hand on his chest to calm him down, "Because what they were saying wasn't very nice, they were basically suggesting that she'd obviously fucked her way into the job, and she knew that wasn't true but she also knew it would upset you, so she let it go and pretended she hadn't overheard anything and just set out to prove she deserved the job you gave her" I say.

I look at my father and I watch as he looks across at Josephine once more he is rigid so I know this has made him angry but I also see the love in his eyes as he looks at her. "Dad, this was months ago, don't say anything she made me promise not to tell you, I only found out when I overheard her talking to her mom about it and I confronted her, she broke down and told me what had been said about her but begged me not to say anything to you" I say.

"But, why?" he asks, his confusion is obvious.

"Because first of all she cares about you and she knew you would be upset about it, and your reaction now proves that point and she didn't want to create an atmosphere at work by tattling, she wanted and needed that job you offered her. She told me she believed all her Christmases had come at once when she read that contract and you told her about the health benefits, and she didn't want to jeopardise that so she said to me that she knew the truth that she hadn't slept her way into the job and so she decided to just work even harder to prove that you had made the right decision to hire her, and it worked she shut up all the haters by just outshining them professionally. But she said she also realised at that point that your motives weren't totally based on business and I think that possibly scared her a little" I say.

"Did it upset her as well?" he asks.

I shake my head, "I don't know, I think she felt overwhelmed at the concept that you liked her, but she also told me she fell in love with you the day you took charge and flew her to Indiana and sorted out the treatment for her mom. She said, I saw what a good man your dad is and I was shocked that someone of his position would care enough to help someone like me, and the fact he didn't want anything or have an ulterior motive made me fall in love with him there and then".

I watch as a small incredulous smile pulls at my dad's lips "She said that?" he says, clearly moved by what he has heard.

"I did Gideon" we both look up and see Josephine has woken up and is smiling shyly at my dad. On cue Byron starts to whine and I ease myself away from my dad's embrace.

"If you two will excuse me, my son needs me" I say and I pick up the baby carrier and head out back to my room leaving my father and Josephine alone, and as I am tending to my son I hear them go past and go into their own cabin and shut the door and I smile.


	40. Chapter 40

CHAPTER 40

"Maureen, how are you? It's good to see you again, you are looking well!" I watch my father greet Josephine's mom enthusiastically. He hugs her and places a small kiss on her cheek.

"Hello Gideon it's lovely to see you again, and I am very well thanks to you" she replies. I watch my dad dismiss the compliment completely and then he turns and beckons us all forward.

"Maureen let me introduce my family, this is my youngest daughter Zoe, my middle daughter Olivia and my eldest daughter Denise, and this..." he pauses as he takes Byron gently from my arms, "this is my grandson Byron" he says proudly.

I watch as Maureen greets us all and makes a fuss of Byron. She is painfully thin but she has colour in her cheeks and she has kind eyes - like Josephine. I have to admit she does look very well considering she is fighting cancer. I watch as she greets her daughter emotionally and clasps her hand looking at the ring my dad gave her.

"Oh Josie it's beautiful" she says as she examines it. She looks up at my dad, "Congratulations to you both".

We move inside the house and I look around, I immediately like it here, it's a small comfortable house and it reminds me a lot of Granddads home in California.

A little later I am busy with Byron when Liv comes to join me. "She's nice isn't she?" Liv whispers to me, as I am changing my son.

"She is" I say.

"Dennie, how do you feel about dad asking Josephine to marry him... really?" she asks me suddenly.

I pause and turn to face my sister, "I couldn't be happier for him or for Josephine, he deserves to be happy as does Josephine and they obviously adore each other, why?" I ask looking carefully at her; I am wondering where this came from and what she is trying to say.

Liv shrugs, "I... I still can't help thinking about mom, I know she has been gone a while now and it's not as if dad went off with Josephine as soon as mom died but don't you think it's been quick how they got together?" she asks.

I sigh, "Dad fell in love with mom the moment he laid eyes on her, and they married after only a few months or so I think and when they married mom was already expecting me. Look at Uncle Christian and Aunty Ana they had only been together a couple of months when he got dad to help him surprise her with that wedding, then there is me and Josh I knew pretty quickly I loved Josh. Liv you also have to remember both dad and Josephine love someone else as well as each other, they have both loved and lost the partners they considered to be love of their lives. They both looked on their first partners as their soul mates so I think it's beautiful that they have found each other and let each other in, you are not going to ruin this for them are you?" I ask warily.

Liv shakes her head, "No of course not, I want dad to be happy, of course I do, but what happens if he and Josephine have a kid?" she says.

I stare at her as I remember the conversation I had with dad on the plane, "What if they do? That's their choice – Josephine is still young enough to have a baby, and she would make a brilliant mom, she is so kind, loving and patient it's a shame she never got the chance before, and dad well he isn't _that_ old, what's all this about Liv? What's eating you?" I ask. I pull Byron into my arms and turn to face my sister.

"Dennie… if they had a kid, and it was a boy. I can't help but think ..." she trails off.

"Liv stop this right now, they aren't even married yet and dad won't disown us if he has a kid with Josephine – far from it, you know how dad felt when his mom remarried and had Uncle Christopher and Aunty Ireland, you know the story Liv so just don't go there because he wouldn't allow that to happen to us. I'm actually quite disgusted that you even think he would do that. Dad loves us and wouldn't do anything to make us feel unwanted or unloved" I say.

"I know I just..." Liv stops and shakes her head, "I can't help the way I feel" she says.

"Then you need to talk to dad and tell him, tell him how you are feeling and let him reassure you, wait till we get home and talk to him" I say.

She shakes her head, "I don't want to upset him" she says.

"You won't he will appreciate your honesty and he will be able to talk it through with you" I say.

"You sound like a shrink" Liv says with a grin.

I snort, "Yeah well, I've spent quite a bit of time around shrinks recently if you hadn't noticed".

Liv looks at me apologetically and then hugs me and promises me that she will talk to dad at some point.

**(MAUREEN)**

I have just overheard a conversation between Gideon's two daughters and now I am in a quandary. I don't know what I should do, should I keep it to myself or divulge what I have overheard. I was a little worried about this visit as I wasn't sure what their feelings were towards Josephine, on the whole they appear to have been positive but all this has worried me a little as it appears that Gideon's daughter harbours doubts and worries, and I know I do.

Then there is the main elephant in the room – Gideon himself. He is a lovely man but the fact remains that he is a very wealthy high profile powerful man who can make things happen with a click of his fingers and that does concern me. I feel awful for thinking that way because I was beyond grateful to him for what he did for me. I knew Josephine was going short to take care of me and provide for my care and it worried me so much and when I found the full extent of how she was living I was devastated so when Gideon stepped in took over my medical care I was overwhelmed but incredibly grateful.

The day Gideon came to Indiana with her when I first met him I was totally horrified at how emaciated she was, I had my suspicions for a while that she was struggling financially which was why I had decided to refuse any more treatment but when I saw the extent of just how big a sacrifice she had made for me it nearly killed me right there, but then Gideon came in like a hurricane and changed everything, and now my daughter is healthy and well and so obviously besotted with him and it is obvious he loves her too and of course he has given me another lease of life - literally. His daughters are lovely, little Zoe is a riot she is so open and accepting. Denise is a sad soul, she has been through so much, Josephine has told me all about her and everything she has been through, at seventeen years old she shouldn't have had to endure such things. She is an excellent mother that much is abundantly clear just looking at her, her main focus is on her son but she also plays mom to her sisters, looking out for them. Josephine told me how she took on that role when Gideon's first wife died and it appears to me that it is one she has never fully relinquished. Olivia worries me, she makes a show of having accepted my Josie into the family but I sensed there was resentment there and that was confirmed for me when I heard her talking to her sister, now I have to decide what I should do with this information I have.

I look up and see Gideon striding confidently towards me holding two mugs of coffee, he hands one to me and smiles at me. He is a good man and for all his wealth he is so down to earth, he values people rather than material things which is rare for someone of his status.

"Thank you" I say as I accept the mug from him and he sits down beside me. I am in the garden on my bench a place I often come to, to think and work things out.

"Thank you for inviting us into your home" he says politely and I smile at him.

"You are always welcome" I say sincerely.

"Thank you, I hope having us all here isn't too overwhelming for you?" he asks with obvious concern.

I shake my head, "No not at all, it's lovely having children about the place again" I say.

He looks carefully at me as if considering what I have just said and he nods then he speaks again, "I'd like to talk to you... about the wedding" he begins.

"Oh" I say.

He stares down into his mug of coffee as he begins to talk, "I want to marry your daughter sooner rather than later, and I want to give her the wedding of her dreams, I have told her the sky is the limit and she can have whatever she wants and obviously with my resources that limit is considerably higher than average, but I don't want to alienate you or make you feel like the poor relation, I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable which leaves me a little confused as to what to do" he stops, still staring intently at his coffee.

"Gideon look at me" I say, he looks up and once again I am struck by his eyes, they are an amazing shade of blue.

"Gideon, I am overjoyed that you want to give my daughter whatever she wants but she has very simple tastes and she won't take advantage, so I don't think this will be an issue for you, and I will be happy as long as she is… and as long you and your family are" I say.

I see the relief on his face, "I'd like to fly you to New York for the wedding that is a given, but I would also like to discuss the possibility of you relocating to New York after we marry, Josephine loves you and I want you to feel included in our family and not left on the outside" he says.

My eyes widen in shock and I look at him in amazement, this had never been a consideration of mine I had long since accepted it would never happen, I have lived in Indiana all my life. I have always longed to be nearer to Josephine but I never had the means to do so and now suddenly the opportunity is being offered to me on a plate.

"I don't know what to say" I stammer.

He reaches over and touches my arm, "Just think about it, I'm sure Josephine would love to have you closer" he says.

I nod, "I will thank you" I say I realise this man wants the best for everyone and taking that into consideration I decide to divulge what I overheard earlier.

"Gideon, I would like to talk to you about something slightly delicate" I begin. He leans forward.

"Go on" he says, I know I have his complete attention and I feel slightly intimidated.

"I overheard a conversation today, I didn't mean to, I wasn't eavesdropping on purpose but I overheard a conversation between your daughters and I think you need to talk to Olivia" I say.

He looks questioningly at me and I take a deep breath and tell him what I heard, I see the pain on his face as he listens to me. I reach out and touch his hand.

"Just talk to her Gideon, Denise advised her to discuss it with you so when she does you will know so it won't be such a shock and my guess is you will get a heads up from Denise about this as well".

I watch as he thinks about what I have just told him and eventually he sighs, "Olivia was a little resistant to begin with, she didn't like the idea of another woman taking her moms place, but I thought we had reassured her about it and she had got over it. She gave us her blessing when I told my girls I was thinking about proposing, I would never have done it had I known she wasn't totally on board" he says. I see he looks shattered by this news and I reach out to him and touch his hand again.

"Gideon, I don't think the issue here is you marrying Josephine I think the issue is if you decide to start a family with Josephine, she is scared that if you do and you both produce a son, which is something which didn't happen for you and Eva, that will somehow diminish your feelings towards your daughters" I see him open his mouth to protest and I hold up my hand, "which is totally ridiculous as I know you wouldn't do that but that is how she feels and she needs to be reassured that, that won't be the case" I say.

"And how the hell do I do that?" he asks helplessly.

I smile, "Just talk to her" I say, "open up your heart to her and speak from it and let her see her fears are unfounded" I say and he nods his head.

"Ok, thank you" he replies.

"Here you are!" I look up and see my daughter strolling across the grass, I watch Gideon stand and embrace her giving her a chaste kiss, and the way they look at each other brings a lump to my throat – such love.

We head inside and I find myself sitting in my small living room with Denise and her son. She walks over and sits beside me.

"You have a beautiful son Denise" I say.

"I do don't I" she says smiling down at her son, then her smile fades as she continues, "he is his father's double, Josh would have been so proud of him. I like to think wherever he is he is looking down on his son and is proud of him" she says sadly.

"Tell me about Josh" I say gently.

She looks at me and the sadness vanishes replaced with warm affection. She reaches into her pocket and pulls out a cell phone and scrolls through pictures until she finds one and hands me her phone.

"That's Josh" she says. "You see that paper in his hand? That is a scan picture, that was the day we found out we were having a boy. I snapped that of him as we left the hospital he was so happy" she says. I stare at the picture and the joy and love on this boy's face. I don't say anything and Denise continues to speak.

"I love him so much, he was my world. When I first met him things weren't so good between me and my dad... you see after mom died he didn't cope too well, and he buried himself in his work, don't get me wrong he took care of us and loved us. He provided for us and everything, but he was never really there for us if you get what I mean. Mom had gone I was 12 years old and Liv was 10, Zoe was only about 5. I was the eldest female in the house, Aunty Ireland – that's my dad's little sister did as much as she could but she had her own life and I also had Aunty Ana and Aunty Mia, but they live in Seattle… I don't know if you know about our family there are loads of us but we are all a bit tenuously linked" she pauses with a grin then she continues.

"Anyway as I was saying they were there but I was the one on the ground so it was hard, and Liv and Zoe turned to me for stuff. I gradually took on the role of mom to them, and during those years after mom died I kind of raised them along with Raul's help".

"Who is Raul?" I ask, although I have a feeling I have heard that name before.

"Dad's head of security, when Angus died Raul took over all dads' security, and he was always around, so any issues which I couldn't handle I generally went to Raul. Like when Zoe was being bullied she came to me, I told Raul and he sorted it. Anyway, I met Josh and at that point I was feeling pretty resentful of my role within the family, the way I saw it mom had been dead years and dad should have got over it. I had never really grieved for mom and just suppressed it all and I was sick of being mom to my sisters, so when I met Josh and he loved me and made me feel special I grabbed it. I cut school and lied to dad about where I was when I went out with him, dad found out and he went ballistic. I remember the night like yesterday I was about what... 15ish I came home over an hour late and dad had phoned my friends step mom as I said I was at her house and he had been told I hadn't been there all night. He had practically his whole security team out looking for me and we had this massive row and I told him a few home truths, about how I felt. We worked it all out, but Josh was so angry at me too, he said 'how the hell do you expect your dad to trust you if you behave like that Denise?' he tore me off a strip which won dad over and we started seeing each other. He made me feel special, he loved me and he always wanted what was best for me, he gave up his family for me, and in the end he gave up his life to protect me and his son".

I watch as Denise lowers her head, I reach over and touch her arm.

"He sounds like a lovely person" I say quietly.

She nods and wipes her eyes, "he was the best, which is why I feel so confused right now" she says.

"Confused?" I ask.

She nods, and hesitates a moment, "I graduated about a month ago, I had worked hard to graduate early and despite everything that happened I managed it, and not only that I was actually this year's valedictorian, don't ask me how because I don't have the foggiest, but academic work was always easy to me so I guess I just had an advantage because I got the results without having to put a great deal of effort in. Anyway, someone turned up at my graduation ceremony, his name is Nicky, Nicky Kline. I met him when I was staying with my grandfather in California – his dad and my dad go way back it's a long story, but at my graduation he told me he loved me, I told him I would be his friend but I couldn't do any more than that, I love Josh and I can't even think about anyone else romantically, but I like Nicky a lot and since he said what he said, I can't stop thinking about it... and him, and then I feel guilty like I am being unfaithful to Josh and I just feel confused".

I smile kindly at her, "Denise, you have two people in your home who know exactly what that feels like, so why don't you talk to them and ask for their help with this?" I say.

Denise's mouth drops open as she realises what I am saying "Why didn't I think of that?" she says and she slaps herself on the forehead. She smiles widely at me, but then her smile fades, "I might talk to Josephine about that one, I have a feeling dad wouldn't totally understand" she says then she smiles again, "Thank you" she says.

"You are very welcome" I reply, I think for a moment and then ask a question.

"How do you feel Denise... about your dad getting married again?" I ask.

I see her smile get wider, "I'm so happy for him, he deserves to be happy. He is a good man and Josephine is perfect for him, she is so I don't know... stoic and calm – she's brilliant I love her to bits, she has never tried to replace my mom, she just wants to help and be there, and she deserves the happiness as much as my dad" she says firmly.

"Do you talk to your sisters about your dad finding someone else?" I ask.

She nods, "Yeah, Zoe loves Josephine as well, they have a shared love of anything arty they bonded over a sketching session at Central Park, Liv..." she pauses, "Liv is... I don't know, I know she likes Josephine and I know she wants dad to be happy, but she has witnessed so much stuff she has never really been involved in anything that has happened but she has had a grandstand view of it all, she has seen all the trouble that has happened over the years and I think she just worries. Liv always thinks of the 'what if?' So she finds issues where there aren't any, but she is fine with dad marrying Josephine, I'm sure of it" she says confidently.

"Are you talking about me?" I turn and see Olivia coming into the room. She sits down next to Denise and pulls Byron into her lap.

"Yeah why, you got a problem with that?" Denise says with a grin and she nudges her sister with her shoulder. I watch Olivia smile back and I can see that they are really close and there is an enormous amount of affection and love there.

I take a deep breath and speak to Olivia, "I was just asking Denise what she thought about your father re marrying" I wait to see if Olivia will say anything. I watch as she looks down at Byron and doesn't say anything.

"I want dad to be happy I really do and I love Josephine to bits because she's really great, she has never tried to replace mom but she has really been there for us especially recently with all the stuff that has happened, I'm not worried about them getting married and I am really happy for them that they are doing so, but, I wonder what will happen if dad and Josephine decide to have a baby, how that will affect us" she pauses and looks towards her sister, " I mean look how dad has been with Byron Dennie, he loves him to bits, he never had a son, if dad and Josephine have a kid and they have a boy I can't help but think..."

"That is in the future and do you seriously think I would not want you or your sisters if I fathered another child?"

We all turn at the voice and see Gideon standing in the doorway looking horrified.

"Dad please" Olivia says.

I watch Denise stand and walk over to her father and grasp his arms, "Dad don't do this not now, this isn't the time or the place, we will discuss this when we get back to New York but we are guests in Maureen's house this isn't the time to have a family conference, it isn't fair on her" I watch as Denise places her hands on her father's chest silently pleading with him to drop it.

It is obvious her relationship with her father isn't the normal father daughter relationship, they are equals and he leans on her as much she leans on him. Seeing this dynamic gives me the courage to speak up.

"Denise please don't worry about me, I think it would be a good idea for everyone to sit and discuss their worries and concerns as it appears _we_ all have them" I make a point of emphasising the we all and I see Gideon look carefully at me. I continue to speak, "I have concerns and it is obvious Olivia has concerns" I turn to Gideon, "You have your own worries about the future Gideon, you said as much to me earlier and I admit I too have a few things on my mind which I wouldn't mind discussing" I stop speaking and wait.

"Alright" Gideon says eventually, he moves into the room and sits down, "let's talk" he says.

Gideon sits down and there is an awkward stand-off, nobody seems to want to go first, the silence is broken by my daughter who walks in with Zoe, she looks around the room and immediately knows something is the matter, but before Josephine can say anything to everyone's amazement Zoe speaks.

"What's going on dad?" she asks warily.

Gideon shakes his head, his eyes falling on Zoe and he forces a smile. "Nothing pumpkin, we will discuss this when we get back to New York" he says flatly, glaring at his older daughters.

I watch Zoe come into the room a little further and she looks from me to her father and then she looks at both her sisters and carries on speaking.

"What's going on? Something has happened here, Dennie? Liv? Dad? What is going on?" she asks.

I watch Gideon the expression on his face changes so there is no expression at all and Denise stands up and embraces her little sister.

"It's ok Zoe, we were just talking, and nothing is going on" she says airily.

I watch as Zoe shrugs out of her sister's hold and she looks around again her eyes flash with anger and I see her small hands ball into fists.

"I'm sick of this, I'm not part of this family at all am I? You all talk and whisper and stuff happens but nobody ever includes me and tells me what is going on, if I want to know anything I have to listen in to private conversations and that isn't right. I know you tried to kill yourself Dennie, not because anyone sat me down and told me and explained things to me because that would have been too easy. I had to eavesdrop to find out what was going on. Why can't anyone just tell me what is going on? Ever since mom died I have been pushed out!" she stops and everyone is staring at her open mouthed.

Gideon looks shattered he stands up and walks towards his youngest daughter and leads her to the seat beside him. "It appears we all have things to say" he says quietly. He looks up at Josephine, who is rooted to the spot, and he gestures for her to join him, I watch as she sits down and reaches for his hand.

"What has happened?" Josephine asks carefully.

Denise sighs and Olivia stares intently at Bryon who is lying happily on her lap. Eventually Denise speaks.

"It seems like everyone has concerns about something and haven't spoken up and everything has now come to a head, your mom said she has some worries, Liv has, and your mom said dad has something bothering him as well". She stops and Josephine looks around the room.

"What about you Denise? Do you have any worries or concerns?" she asks her carefully.

Denise nods, "Yeah but mine are not related to anything else and can wait for now, they are not important" she says dismissively.

Josephine shakes her head, "No Denise your worries are just as important, so what I suggest is we go around everyone and every gets off their chest what it is they want to say".

She turns to face me, "This is your house mom, so you go first" she says. I stare at her and her confident no nonsense approach, gone is the nervous and shy Josephine I previously knew.

I bite my lip and take a deep breath here goes. "First of all I want to say I really like Gideon and think he is a lovely man and I am beyond grateful for everything he has done for me, but... I worry. I saw the way he made a phone call and then flew out and clicked his fingers and everything got sorted just like that – not that I am not grateful for what you did for me, but it was so overwhelming to watch, you just demanded and things happened, and that is very intimidating and it's a world I just don't understand or can comprehend, that with one word mountains get moved, that is all really" I stop and look down at my fingers.

Gideon is watching me intently and it makes me a little nervous, as the last thing I want to do is offend him.

I look up as I hear him sigh, "Maureen, thank you for being so honest with me, this actually ties in rather well with my concerns, I love your daughter and I want to marry her, I know I am an extremely wealthy man and that sort of wealth _can_ be intimidating to people who are not used to it, I don't want to alienate you or make you feel intimidated I want to include you as fully as my own family... I just... I don't know I just want you to feel included and not feel like the poor relation, do you understand what I am trying to say?" he stops and looks at me imploringly.

I nod my head, "They are my issues and I have to work them out myself, the last thing I want to do is make anyone feel uncomfortable though" I say.

Josephine grips Gideon's hand, "I felt a little intimidated when I first met Gideon and the scale of what he could do and make happen became apparent but I talked with Ana and she understood how I felt as she came from very humble beginnings but then married Gideon's brother – Christian, and she assured me I would get used to it and I have done, so I hope that you will be able to come to terms with it mom".

"Gideon has asked me to consider relocating to New York" I say.

I watch as my daughters face lights up and her head whips around to Gideon and she gives him a stunning smile. "You would do that for my mum?" she asks.

I watch Gideon nod adamantly, "I would, I know your mother would prefer to be closer to you and I know you miss her terribly at times, I can make it happen so I made the offer" he shrugs but then stills and looks at me "but I guess this is what you mean about me clicking my fingers and moving mountains" he adds.

"Yes, but you do it with the best of intentions, you are a good man" I say.

"Are we good?" he asks me carefully and I nod.

"Yes we are, I am glad we both talked this through, I won't lie it does take a bit of getting used to but I'm sure I can work things out in my own mind, my primary concern is that my daughter is happy and I can see that you have made her very happy" I say.

Josephine smiles; "Well that's one down, who is going to go next?" she looks at Zoe, "How about you Zoe, why don't you go next it appears you have some serious issues we need to address" she says carefully.

Zoe nods, "Well, after mom died things changed, for a long while dad wasn't really there anymore he was always at work and even when he was there he wasn't really. So if I needed anything I turned to Dennie and she sorted it out for me or she told Raul and he sorted it out, but dad came back eventually, but things were different. I was never told anything. Dad and Dennie were always talking about stuff, and Raul was always involved and even Uncle Christian sometimes, it was like stuff was happening and I was being left out and not told what was going on, it's not nice not being told stuff. So I figured out that if I wanted to find out what was going on I had to listen to conversations and find out for myself, that was when I found out you had tried to kill yourself Dennie and that upset me because I didn't understand why you would want to do that... and stuff" she stops talking and we can all see tears forming in her eyes. The next thing Denise has stood and pulled Zoe into her arms and is hugging her tightly.

"Zoe the 'stuff' that you are talking about when we were talking with Raul and Uncle Christian, well that is stuff we didn't want to tell you because we didn't want to frighten you, because at that time really bad things were happening" she pauses and she takes a shot look at Gideon, "but it's all sorted out now so I will explain roughly what was happening ok" she says and takes a deep breath but stops as Gideon butts in.

"Denise" he says warningly.

Denise shakes her head, "No dad, can't you see Zoe feels left out, I agree with you that at the time she didn't need to know about Sybil and the stuff that was going on but we should have told her something," she turns back to Zoe " Zoe so much crap has happened over the past few years and we didn't tell you because we were trying to protect you so you didn't get scared, but that made you feel left out and for that I am sorry, and dad is too – aren't you dad?" she says glaring at Gideon, I watch Gideon nod but not say a word.

"But what happened was there was lots of things going on at once, I found out I was having a baby, there was a bad lady who dad and Uncle Christian helped put in prison and who wanted revenge on them and she sent some bad men to try and hurt us. Do you remember the man who approached you at the school gate? Well that was all part of it and that is why we all started having CPO's do you remember how Andy came to look after you? Then we found out that Josh's dad was doing bad things as well, but the situation with the bad lady in prison is sorted out now – I have had Byron and hopefully we can stop Josh's dad from doing any more bad things. But we didn't leave you out to hurt you Zoe we left you out because we wanted to protect you and we didn't want you scared do you understand?" she says.

Zoe nods, "yeah, but why didn't you just say that at the time? Any one of you could have just said, there is stuff going on at the minute, but its best you don't know what is going on, when I found out you had tried to kill yourself I didn't know what had happened. You disappeared and dad disappeared and all I was told was you were in hospital and dad was with you now that made me worry more than if someone had just sat me down and explained to me what had happened, because I wasn't told I made up my own things and I worried more. So I listened to Liv and Josephine talking and that was when I found out what had really happened" she says sadly.

"She's got a point dad" Denise says with a wry smile.

Gideon looks uncomfortable, "But you are only 10 years old Zoe!" He argues.

Denise shakes her head, "Dad, yes she is ten but you fail to remember that is exactly how old Liv was when mom died and I was only two years older, and look at what we dealt with. She's growing up dad you can't stop that happening and you can't protect her from the world. She's proven that she will find out what she wants to know and all you have succeeded in doing is making her pissed at you and feeling pushed out".

"Yes and look how messed up it's made you both by having to deal with all that!" he retorts.

I watch both Olivia and Denise roll their eyes, "Zoe if you want to know anything come and ask me" Denise says eventually in a slightly exasperated tone, and I can see once again she is taking on the role of protective surrogate mom for her little sister.

"Or me" Liv says firmly.

"If I may say something" we all turn our attention to Josephine, "Your dad just thought he was doing what was right, because he loves you, please don't crucify him for that" she says.

I watch all three girls nod in unison.

"Ok Liv your turn" Denise says staring at her sister and I watch Olivia shuffle uncomfortably in her seat, she looks up at her father and then at Josephine. "I am happy you and Josephine are getting married I really am, I got over that. Josephine I love you to bits you are a lovely person and you have never tried to take my mom's place but you have loved us and took care of us and I really want you and dad to be happy... but" she stops.

"But what Liv, it's ok come on talk to us it's alright" Josephine coaxes.

"What if you and dad start a family? Where does that leave us?" she stops and I see surprise on my daughters face.

"Oh Liv, do you think we wouldn't want you and your sisters if your father and I had a baby together?" she asks.

I watch Olivia shuffle again, "Sort of, kind of... I mean, no, but... I mean he never had a son with mom I know dad loves us with all his heart, but I can't help but think if he had a baby with you and that baby was a boy he would be so happy and that would be a good thing because all I want is for dad to be happy, but he would be building a new life and making a new family and where would that leave us?" she stops again and puts her head down.

I watch Gideon smile sadly, "Liv you know my story, you know all about my childhood so do you seriously think I would allow that to happen? I love you three and your happiness is my primary concern, if you three had said no I would never have asked Josephine to marry me, I thought you were all fine about us?" he looks concerned and a little confused.

"We are honestly dad, I just worry about you having more kids, and it came into my head after Dennie had Byron. I mean we all love him he's a cute little guy, but we have seen how you are with him you adore him dad, and..." she stops speaking again and shakes her head.

"Olivia, you are right I do adore him, because he is my grandson. My first grandchild. But that love doesn't detract from any of you, I still love you all as much as I did before he was born, and the same would the case if and I stress the word _if _Josephine and I decided to start a family of our own" he stops.

"Do you want a baby with Josie dad?" Zoe asks.

There is a silence, and I watch Gideon smile at Josephine. "We haven't really discussed it at length but I know I would like to have a baby with her at some point, and I know Josephine has expressed a desire to be a mother" he stops and smiles widely at my daughter and she blushes a little before speaking up.

"Liv if your dad and I have a baby, and yes it is something I would like to happen I want to make it clear that I would want to involve you three as much as possible as you are my family too, when I agreed to marry your father I knew you all came as a package and although I know I could never take the place of your mother and I would never want to, I look on you three as my own, I love you all very much indeed" she says.

At this point I watch as Liv and Zoe dissolve into tears and Denise retrieves her son as Liv stands and rushes to Josephine and hugs her tightly.

"I'm sorry" I hear her mumble.

"You have nothing to be sorry about Liv" Josephine says as she holds her tightly. I watch as one by one they all stand and move closer forming a large group, then Gideon steps aside and pulls me to my feet and makes me join them.

"Listen to me, we never allow this to happen again" he says firmly, "family always comes first!" he adds.

The rest of the day is uneventful, but there isn't the underlying atmosphere now, I watch my daughter walking with Olivia in the garden and talking to her. I feel for that girl, she has witnessed so many things she has been through just as much as Denise, but she hasn't been actively involved in the goings on she seems to have been overlooked and it has seemed to have had the effect of her worrying about what _could_ happen all the time.

This visit has made me decide one thing though I am going to take Gideon up on his offer of moving to New York. Not only so I can be nearer my daughter but those girls need another female role model in their lives, and my daughter is going to be their step mother that makes them my family too. I understand from my daughter that they have their aunts – but only one lives in New York and she has just got married, and a grandmother in the shape of Gideon's brother's adoptive mother but she lives in Seattle. I don't know anything about whether or not they have a maternal grandmother nobody ever seems to mention anyone and Josephine told me about Gideon's mother and what a piece of work she is. I feel someone walking up beside me.

"Where's Josephine?" I turn and see Gideon and I smile at him. I nod towards the garden.

"Out there with Olivia" I say.

He looks out the window and his face softens and he smiles. "I do love her so much" he says quietly almost to himself.

I tentatively reach out and slip my hand through his arm, he moves slightly to allow access but he doesn't say anything.

"She loves you too, you make her so happy and as her mother that is all I want, but I just don't want her swallowed up by your world, do you understand that?" I ask nervously.

He nods at me, "I do, yes" he says I see him thinking and then he turns to me, "Come with us?" he says, it is a question but he makes it sound like a demand.

"Where to?" I ask.

"Seattle, when we leave tomorrow we are heading on to Seattle to stay with my brother and his family for a while, when we discovered that Christian and I were brothers I was sort of adopted by the Grey's and I have been considered as their own since that time, they are lovely people and maybe Ana could help allay some of your fears – she had a very humble background, she was raised by her stepfather Ray in Montesano her mother was... well" he shakes his head, "let's just say she made my mother look like Mother Theresa!" he says, "Ana never wanted the wealth or trappings she just loved my brother" he says with a smile.

"You think a lot of Ana don't you?" I ask.

He nods and the smile gets brighter, "Yes, if it weren't for her I would never have been able to let Eva in, I was so closed off and alone. I had spent the majority of my life alone and I had built up such walls around myself I let nobody in but Ana breached them but I never stood a chance with her because my brother got there first he stole her heart, but she taught me it was ok to let people in and so I was able to love Eva and now I am able to love Josephine as well" he says.

"You loved your brother's wife?" I ask a little taken aback by what he has just said and he laughs.

"No, they were dating and they broke up, my brother fucked erm... I mean messed things up – sorry, and they weren't together when I met Ana. I met her and we became friends and I sort of hoped for more, but my brother was determined to win her back. We didn't know we were brothers at that point and I thought he was kind of an asshole and he thought the same way about me, but during the time he was trying to win her back things came to light and we discovered numerous links between us and eventually he managed to win Ana back and we became friends and then we discovered more links between us and eventually we discovered we were brothers. I grew up thinking my father was my uncle, you see my mother had a fling with her husband's brother. My uncle had also got Christian's biological mother pregnant and then abandoned her which set in motion a chain of events which led to Christian being adopted by The Greys. But no, back to the original point they weren't married – they weren't even together when I thought I stood a chance with her but it was obvious I never did, she may have dumped my brother at that point but she still loved him, and it was inevitable that they would reconcile and they did and they are still together now". He stops speaking and I am shocked at everything he has just told me.

"Does Josephine know all this?" I ask.

He nods, "Yes she does, she knows everything" he says, he says it in such a matter of fact way I wonder what else there is to know.

From what was said earlier I assumed that he suffered some issues from his childhood and from what he has just said I assume his mothers marriage broke up after her affair and she married again, and from what Josephine has told me about his mother and the bitter way he talks about her I know he doesn't get on with her. But I am not going to pry and ask anything more, he said my daughter knows everything and as long as she is fine with whatever has happened then it's none of my business. I decide to tell him my decision about moving to New York and I think I would like to take him up on his offer to meet his brother and his family.

"Gideon" I say nervously.

"Yes" he says.

"Erm, I think I'd like that, to come with you to Seattle and meet your brother and his family, that is if it's alright with them, I don't want to intrude" I say. I watch as his face lights up.

"He will be delighted, I'll give him a call right away" he says and pulls out his phone, I stare at him, Oh my goodness he hasn't even asked his brother if it's ok?! I watch in shock as he calls his brother and I listen to the one sided conversation.

"Christian!... hi bro... I'm good thanks, you? Good! We should be with you sometime tomorrow we are leaving Indiana tomorrow morning, listen, I'd like you to meet Josephine's mom, it's ok to bring her with us isn't it?... that's great... really? That would be wonderful, I'd love to see Ray and Denise again... yes I'm sure they would too, that's great, thanks bro see you tomorrow, give my love to Ana and Phoebe, yeah... bye bro!" he hangs up and beams at me.

"All sorted and you will get to meet Ray too as he is visiting at the moment with his wife Denise" he says.

"Oh, will they have enough room for me too?" I ask with concern, Gideon snorts with laughter.

"They have plenty of room, my brother has a huge house located next to sound outside Seattle, it's enormous, it's a fabulous place though, I'm pretty jealous actually. But yes there is plenty of room, and as I say you will get to meet Ray, that's Ana's dad, he is a really nice guy very down to earth says it as it is, and he is married to Denise, now Denise is Christian's biological aunt, he found her years ago when it all came out about us being brothers he found her living in Detroit and she runs our Detroit Ella's Lodge – the charity which we founded together to help abused children, have you heard of it?"

I shake my head, "No I'm sorry I haven't" I say apologetically.

I see his eyes widen in surprise at that and he leans back, "You haven't? Oh! Well after what we both went through as kids we set up this facility it's like a safe house kind of idea where children who are being physically or sexually abused can go for help and refuge, we initially set up one in Detroit, New York and Seattle, Detroit was the first one to open, and New York and Seattle both opened shortly afterwards, and since then we were contacted by other states and eventually there was at least one somewhere in every state we hold fund raisers in each state to help with the day to day costs of each lodge but my brother and I finance and cover the majority of the costs personally" he says.

I had no idea I had never heard of this until he had just mentioned it and it also raises more questions from what he has just told me.

"What is it called again?" I ask.

"Ella's Lodge" he replies.

"I see, is there any significance to that name?" I ask.

He nods, "Yes, Ella was Christian's biological mother's name, we felt it was a fitting tribute to her" he says.

I think through everything he has just told me and before I can stop myself the question at the forefront of my mind pops out of my mouth, "you said after what we both went through as kids, what happened to you and your brother?" I ask.

He stares at me in disbelief, "You don't know?" he says incredulously.

I shake my head.

He gives another small snort of laughter and shakes his head, "Well actually it is quite refreshing to talk to someone who doesn't know every last dirty sordid detail of my life!" he says.

I am speechless and I think he realises he has shocked me, and he leads me to a seat and we sit down and he explains.

"I went public many years ago about my past and so did my brother so it's all out there and all you have to do is Google either of us to find out everything about us" he says sadly.

I smile at him, "Well I don't have a computer and have never been on the internet in my life" I say with a shrug.

He takes a deep breath and he sits and tells me everything. How the man he assumed was his father committed suicide after being discovered as a fraud, I had heard of Geoffrey Cross before from many years ago but I never put two and two together. He tells me how his mother remarried and how he felt pushed out when she rebuilt her life and how she had always blamed him for her affair with her husband's brother. He tells me how he was put into therapy and how he was sexually abused and raped by the person who was supposed to be helping him, he sits and he gives me his life story from when he was a small child right up the present day. "So that's everything" he says with a shrug.

I stare at him my mouth hanging open when I eventually pull myself together I pull him into my arms and hold him tightly as I can't think of anything to say, and so I just show him as much compassion as I can in the hug I give him. I feel him respond and I hold him tightly.

When he eventually pulls away I smile at him, "And Christian was abused too?" I ask.

He nods, "Yes he was abused physically by the drug pushing pimp his biological mother got mixed up with, he was only a toddler, but he was punched and kicked across rooms and the bastard stubbed cigarettes out on him, he has these scars all over his chest and back, it left him with a fear of being touched and lots of emotional baggage, and as a result he was targeted by Sybil in his teenage years and she sexually abused him, but as I said previously he knew her as Elena Lincoln, so that's everything" he says and I am taken aback by how matter of fact he says these horrific things.

"Wow" I say. To myself I think, wow indeed!


	41. Chapter 41

CHAPTER 41

We are on Gideon's plane and I am nervous. Nervous about flying as I have never been on a plane before and this is way more than your average plane. I look around and see Gideon's daughters taking their places. They are all at home on a plane they have flown so many times it is second nature to them. I watch as Denise is strapping Byron's carrier in, this little baby has been on planes more in his short life than I have in my entire existence. My daughter is sitting next to me and is holding my hand as she knows I am anxious about this. I try and be insignificant and I sit quietly minding my own business, I look across at the men in the corner playing cards Gideon had introduced me to them as members of his security team. I see the one that he introduced as Raul go and sit with them and join their game and I remember what Denise had told me about him, how he had helped her raise her sisters when Gideon was lost in his grief. As think about that Gideon himself appears, he strides towards us and he smiles widely at me and he kisses Josephine sweetly, before he sits and settles himself down.

"We will be taking off shortly" he says.

I nod but don't say anything.

"Are you alright?" he asks looking closely at me.

I smile, "I'm just a little nervous – it's the first time I have been on a plane" I admit and he looks surprised by that, but then quickly reassures me that there is nothing to worry about.

We are soon in the air and heading towards Seattle and flying isn't as bad as I thought it would be and I am quite enjoying the experience and it is at this point I decide to tell Gideon about my decision to take him up on his offer to move to New York.

"Gideon" I say.

He looks towards me, "Yes" he says.

"Erm... I've been thinking about your offer to help me relocate to New York to be nearer to Josie" I begin, I feel Josephine sit up and pay attention to what I am about to say.

"Oh" he replies.

I nod, "Yes I would like to take you up on your generous offer, please" I say carefully.

I watch as he nods, he smiles at me and simply says "Consider it done" and that is that.

I am moving to New York, for the first time in my life I will be living somewhere other than Lafayette, Indiana. Josephine hugs me and is clearly excited about this. I look at Gideon again and what is a life changing decision for me appears to takes him a few moments on a phone to arrange.

During the flight Denise comes over, she never did speak to Josephine or her father about her dilemma regarding her feelings for a boy she knows while they were at my place, but by her expression it appears that she has decided to say something now.

"Josephine, can I talk to you about something?" she asks carefully.

I watch as my daughter immediately gives her, her complete attention. I also see her father sit up and pay attention a concerned expression on his face. I go to stand up and give them some privacy, but Denise tells me I can stay.

"Josephine can I ask you a personal question?" she asks and I watch my daughter nod.

"When you met my dad did you feel like you were being unfaithful to your husband who died?" she asks.

I see the surprise on Josephine's face, but she quickly recovers and slowly nods.

"Yes I did, when I realised I was developing feelings for your father I felt confused, because firstly I never thought I would or could find anyone who I felt that way about after Michael, and yes I did feel like I was betraying Michael somewhat to begin with, but I eventually reconciled the fact - I was still alive and as such I had every right to be happy and your dad made me happy" she stops and gazes at Gideon lovingly and I watch him grip her hand and raise it to his mouth and kiss it, and the look he is giving her is practically indecent.

"What's this about Denise?" Josephine asks.

I watch Denise pause and then she looks at her father briefly before answering. "Do you remember my graduation, when Nicky Kline turned up?" she begins.

Josephine nods and her fathers head immediately whips around at the mention of this boy's name.

"Well... he has been a really good friend to me, after I... you know, well before that we exchanged phone numbers were talking as friends for a while, in fact when I started spiralling out of control after I finished school he was the only person I made an effort to speak to. He was my friend and I found our chats… comforting. After I… after… he kind of figured out what I had done, I mean it wasn't hard… after all I was in the hospital with bandaged wrists but he didn't judge me and he said if I ever wanted to talk about it or anything just to call him and he said if I was ever feeling low like that again to just call him, well I have been in regular contact with him since then… not because I was feeling low, just because I wanted to and we have become good friends, really good friends. But at my graduation he told me that he felt more for me. He said he understood that I loved Josh and wasn't capable of anything more than friendship, but he told me he loved me and..." she is interrupted by Gideon who speaks in a cold clipped tone.

"He said what!?" he spits.

Denise frowns at her father and immediately defends this boy, "Daddy, please don't – he was so nice and understanding, I told him I could only give him friendship and he didn't mind, please don't make a big thing about this daddy" she begs and she reaches for his hand.

"You are vulnerable and he was making a move on you" Gideon says coldly.

Denise shakes her head, "No he wasn't" she protests, "and I'm not vulnerable" she adds defiantly.

"Yes you are, you have just had a baby and you are grieving the loss of your baby's father and the love of your life, you have been suffering from depression after all the stress you have been under and now you have been hit with this!" he stops and he stands up and starts pacing.

Denise throws up her hands and rolls her eyes, "I knew you would react like this, all I want is to know if how I am feeling is normal, I love Josh and I always will but I can't stop thinking about Nicky – even before he said anything if I am honest. I looked forward to our talks and Skype sessions and I have found myself thinking about him more and more and I need to know if I am betraying Josh by thinking about another man so soon" she says, tears are forming in her eyes as she looks directly at her father.

Gideon sees them and it is his undoing, he immediately calms and reaches for Denise and pulls her to him and as he holds her tightly she starts to quietly cry.

"Sweetheart, you are not betraying anyone, you are as entitled to be happy as anyone else, but you are still very young and I'm not happy at Nick Kline saying that to you and making you confused and worried about your feelings" he says.

Denise shakes her head "No, he knew it wasn't the best timing he said so, and he apologised for it he even said it was probably not appropriate at that point in time, but he needed me to know that he would be there for me as a friend but he also wanted to be honest about the feelings he had for me, and imagine for a moment how hard that was for him, he knew that I couldn't offer him anything but he was prepared to lay himself bare and risk being rejected completely" she says.

I see Gideon considering this, and he nods thoughtfully. "I just want you to be happy Denise but remember you have Byron to consider too, I will say this though there is no set time for you to consider moving on, it took me years to be comfortable to do so, some people move on fairly quickly and others never do, everyone is different and handles grief in different ways and there is no set time to feel ready to move on" he says eventually.

Denise looks up at her father, "You know how I am feeling don't you?" she says.

Gideon pauses and then nods. "I was confused, I thought I could never love anyone the way I loved your mother, and still do – love her that is, but when I met this wonderful lady" he reaches out and touches Josephine's face gently, "the feelings sort of crept up on me and before I knew where I was I was totally captivated by her" he says, "I think the fact we both deeply love someone else though works well for us as we both know and respect each others feelings towards our late partners, I am concerned that Nicky wouldn't be so understanding not having lost anyone close to him like you have" he adds.

**oooOOOooo**

We land in Seattle and I am getting very nervous now, I keep checking my appearance, and smoothing my clothes. The doors open and I see Zoe run down the steps and leap straight into the arms of a very striking tall copper haired man. I immediately recognise him from the media as _the_ Christian Grey, yet another ridiculously rich and successful businessman. He picks her up and spins her around, at his side is a petite stunningly beautiful brunette woman and a very pretty teenage girl there are also two men who look like burly gorillas standing slightly aside along with a fleet of cars, I see Zoe greet the woman and the girl and then run to one of the gorillas fling herself at him and his stony face breaks into a huge grin as he crouches and greets her.

I watch as Denise and Olivia are also greeted and the copper haired man takes the carrier from Denise and peers into it at Byron. Then he turns his head towards me and Josephine who is gripping my hand tightly and he smiles widely, he has a breathtakingly beautiful smile not to mention the most astonishing piercing grey eyes I have ever seen.

I smile at him nervously as we reach him as although he is smiling he gives off a distinct air of intimidation.

"Welcome to Seattle" he says to me and he kisses my cheek, I sense Gideon at my side and watch as he greets his brother warmly.

"Christian, Ana, Phoebe this is Maureen Booth, Josephine's mother, Maureen this is my brother Christian Grey and this is his wife Ana and daughter Phoebe" he lifts his hand up to acknowledge the two men and they give him a salute style response and make their way over.

"Jason, Luke how are you?" he asks as he holds out his hand to them. They both greet him and then he turns to me, "This is Jason Taylor" he says as he waves his hand at the man I saw greet Zoe so tenderly, "and this is Luke Sawyer" he adds as he introduces the second man, I smile and say a quiet hello and they both greet me politely.

"Jason is head of Christian's personal security and Luke is Ana's personal CPO" Gideon explains and I wonder what a CPO is. We make our way to the fleet of cars waiting and we head off away from the airport.

My breath catches as I see the scale of the house in front of us as we make our way up a leafy driveway. I see a beautiful meadow and outbuildings which look like homes, it is all absolutely stunning and huge, and I can see now why Gideon laughed when I asked him if there would be room for me. I am feeling very intimidated as I climb out of the car, when I see a kind looking woman approaching us. I watch as Gideon's daughters run to her and hug her and she makes a fuss of Byron and she speaks to Denise for a moment and then she walks up to us and greets Josephine warmly and I then I see her smile get impossibly brighter as she sees Gideon.

"Gideon darling" she says as she holds open her arms to him and I watch as I see him walk into the embrace and kiss her cheek fondly. I watch as his eyes close and he bends to briefly rest his head on her shoulder and her hands caress his back in a motherly gesture, I wonder who she is as it is obvious Gideon loves her dearly and the feeling is mutual.

Then I hear him speak, "Hi mom" he says to her and then he turns to me. "Maureen I'd like to introduce you to the woman I consider my mother, this is Grace Trevelyan Grey. Grace this is Maureen Booth – Josephine's mom, the woman looks kindly at me and greets me with a warm hug, it has the effect of making me feel at ease and I can see why Gideon thinks so highly of her, compassion and warmth just oozes out of her. We head inside and yet another woman walks towards us, and Gideon hails her brightly and wraps his arm around her shoulder.

"Gail, good to see you!" he says and he presses a swift kiss to her cheek, he turns to me "this is Gail Taylor she is in charge of Christian's household and she is married to Jason, Gail this is my future mother in law Maureen Booth" I watch as the woman's face breaks into a huge grin and she congratulates Gideon and Josephine before turning her attention to me and greeting me.

"Gail I don't suppose...?" Gideon asks with his eyebrows raised in question and a beseeching look on his face.

I watch as the woman laughs, "Yes, I am making a lasagne for dinner tonight and yes I have some more in my freezer for you to take back to New York" she says. Gideon gives her another smacking kiss on the cheek.

"Gail, I've said it before and I'll say it again you are an absolute legend! You need to leave my brother and come back to New York with me" he says and then he turns to me, "You haven't lived until you have had Gail's lasagne" he says with an emphatic wave of his hand.

Gail gently shoves him with her hand and tells him to stop being so silly, and then she tells Gideon that his usual room is ready for him and that she has prepared the room next door for me, after that she excuses herself and disappears. Gideon shows me to my room and I leave my bag inside I look around the room. It is big and beautifully decorated. I glance out of the window and my breath catches at the view over the sound.

We head back downstairs and I am feeling totally overwhelmed at this point so I stay close to Josephine as she has been here before, we are led into a huge sitting room and I glance around there are three people waiting inside sitting talking and they look around and stand as we approach. I watch Gideon greet them all warmly and he seems shocked at the presence of one of them – a tall and burly Latino man.

"Victor! What are you doing here? Not that it's not great to see you again of course" he says. He turns to me and Josephine. "Victor, you've met my fiancée Josephine before but this is my future mother in law Maureen Booth. Maureen this is my father in law Victor Reyes - he is Eva's father".

I stare in surprise at the man, so this man is the father of Gideon's first wife and I remember my manners and say hello.

He smiles widely at me and kisses my cheek politely, "I'm delighted to meet you, Christian called me and said you were arriving today and he asked if I wanted to join you. I had a couple of days off and I thought why not – so here I am" he shrugs, I see the other two people walking forward and Gideon greets them warmly and introduces them to me.

"Maureen this is Ray and Denise Steele, Ray is Ana's father and Denise is Christian's biological aunt, and they got together after meeting at one of our legendary family get togethers. I hold my hand out and greet them and Denise immediately pulls me into a hug.

"Would you like a drink Maureen?" I turn and see Christian behind me looking at me questioningly.

I nod, "Yes please that would be nice" I say.

"What would you like?" he asks.

I spot Ray holding a bottle of beer and I point to it, "Could I have one of those please?" I ask, and Christian beams at me and goes to fetch me a bottle of beer, he returns with a bottle and he offers me a glass, I shake my head declining the glass and I take a gulp of the cold beer. I see Ray and Victor watching me with huge grins on their faces. Then they pull me into their little group and before I know it I am led away.

**(GIDEON)**

I watch as Ray, Victor and Denise lead Maureen away and chat freely with her, and I see her finally start to relax. Christian walks up along side of me.

"That was an inspired move bro" I say nodding towards the group.

He shrugs, "I know how much Victor means to you, and I also thought he is a down to earth guy and along with Ray and Denise they would make her feel comfortable here, as this must be totally out of her comfort zone" he says gesturing around him "plus having him here is useful as we can take this opportunity to talk to both Ray and Victor about our annual fishing and hunting expedition". He looks towards the group and I see Maureen laughing freely at something Victor has just said and he glances at me his eyebrows raised.

"Interesting" he says.

"Cut it out they only just met" I say with grin. "Are we going all out tonight?" I ask.

Christian nods, "Definitely, mom and dad of course, Elliot and Kate are coming and Mia and Ethan, the kids are all coming too so it will be a good old fashioned get together... and" he looks at his watch, and just at that moment Jason appears and Christian nods towards him, "I believe Taylor is about to tell us that some more guests have just arrived from New York" he stops and gives me a self satisfied grin.

"You flew in Christopher and Ireland?" I ask.

He nods, "Christopher, Ireland and her husband and Chris of course, everyone is going to be here the whole family together once more it's going to be brilliant!" he says.

I stare at him, he has gone out of his way to make this perfect, I worry though that it will be too overwhelming for Maureen, she was a nervous wreck at the prospect of meeting the Grey's and now the rest of my family are here as well, I was planning on doing that introduction when we returned to New York. But its too late now as Ireland is at this moment hurtling towards me.

"GIDEON" she shrieks as she launches herself at me.

"AUNTY IRELAND!" Zoe yells equally as loud. I watch my daughters greeting their aunt and grandfather, Chris walks towards me and embraces me and then greets Josephine warmly too. Christopher and Gareth arrive talking to each other and they both greet me and Christian and then they too are engulfed by my daughters.

I lead them over to Maureen. She is watching the activity with interest but stays close to Victor, Ray and Denise, Christian's instincts were correct she feels comfortable with them.

"Maureen, this is a little unexpected but as usual my brother has gone totally over the top" I cast a shot look at Christian and he just raises his glass at me. "He has flown in the rest of my family in from New York, so I'd like to introduce to you my step father Chris Vidal, my brother Christopher and my little sister Ireland and her husband Gareth, everyone this is Maureen Booth Josephine's mom" I say, I watch as everyone becomes acquainted and Chris slips effortlessly into the group with Ray, Victor, Denise and Maureen. I realise suddenly Grace is missing.

"Where's mom?" I ask, "She was here when we arrived" I add.

Christian nods, "Yeah she wanted to be here to greet Maureen when you guys first got here but she has gone home now, but they will be back this evening for dinner" he says.

I watch my daughters with Phoebe and I am happy to see Denise relaxed and acting her age for once. Byron is blissfully oblivious to what is going on around him only waking periodically for a feed and to be changed. When he is awake he gets passed around and everyone has a cuddle with him. The afternoon flies past as all too soon everyone else starts to arrive. Elliot and Kate arrive and Elliot as usual starts acting the fool. Mia and Ethan arrive and Mia immediately gravitates towards Ireland. Carrick and Grace are the last to arrive and Grace apologises for the delay. I glance at Josephine and I see she is happy to see her mother obviously enjoying herself, she walks up to me and slips her hand into mine.

"I thought coming here would be too much for her, but she has really hit it off with Victor, Ray and Denise, that was a smart move Christian made having them here – people she can relate to" she says.

I nod, "Are you enjoying yourself?" I ask Josephine nods.

"I am – I am always happy when I am with you though, I love being a part of your family and it's nice to share this with my mom" she says. I stare at her and I don't think I could love this woman any more than I do at this moment. Suddenly her face becomes anxious though and I look around to see why as I see Raul walking towards us with a grim expression on his face.

"Sir, may I have a word in private" he says.

I nod and immediately Christian is beside me and we head out to Christian's study, Josephine comes with me as I am gripping her hand unwilling to let go and as we enter the study I see Jason also present.

"What's going on?" I ask once we are alone.

"We believe that we may have found out how Landon managed to get bail and be released after everything that has gone on" Raul says.

"Finally" I say.

Raul nods, "it wasn't easy but we have found out that Landon was helped by someone within the police department who basically falsified paperwork to allow him to walk free. I have a number of contacts who have been working tirelessly to try and uncover who and we have narrowed it down to three possible suspects... all of whom have links to Landon, he pulls some papers and photographs out of a file and pushes them towards me. "We have Frank Jefferson and Bartholomew Cook who have both been friends with Landon for years but the one which concerns me the most is this guy Scott Benedict he is deputy chief of the New York Police Department and why we are concerned about him is because we have uncovered links between him and... Sybil Hanson".

I close my eyes at the mention of that name, "you are fucking kidding me" I sigh.

Raul shakes his head, "I wish I was sir, I want to stress it is all speculation at this stage but we are working hard to try and find out how Landon got out and who got him out but I thought you'd like to know what we had discovered so far, I have only just got this information through so it is still work in progress" he stops and waits for a response from me and I nod.

"Thank you Raul" I say I look at Christian and he shakes his head at me, I turn to Josephine and pull her towards me she wraps her arms around me and holds me tightly.

The rest of the evening passes without incident and we head back out to everyone. Josephine looks worried and I try to reassure her that my guys will handle this. As we rejoin everyone Maureen looks up and frowns. She excuses herself and walks over to us.

"Is everything alright?" she asks looking from Josephine to me.

"It's fine mom honestly" Josephine says "Gideon has just found out some things about Ryan Landon – it appears the reason he has been able to continue with his games is because he has the New York Police in his pocket" she says bitterly.

"That man is a menace, after everything that he has done, and what he did to you" she turns to me. "Isn't there anything you can do?" she asks.

I shrug, "We have an enormous amount of evidence against him but it doesn't appear to be enough at this point" I say.

Maureen shakes her head and walks back to Ray, Victor and Denise.

Josephine looks up at me, "I told mom about what we discovered about Landon and how he was implicated in Michael's death I have never seen her so... scary if she had been in the same room as him I am sure she would have killed him with her bare hands and not thought twice about it," she pauses, "I wish I knew what it was he was hiding back when he thought I had taken those files home that time, did Raul ever find out any more about that?" she asks.

I shake my head, "No, he comprehensively managed to bury that, Raul is normally good at finding things that have been buried but in this case it has been totally impossible" I say.

Josephine shakes her head, "I guess we just try and keep him away from Denise as best we can then" she says sadly.

I nod, "yes its all we can do at the moment, there is no way he will be able to get access to the penthouse, security is just too good and if he tries coming here there is no way on earth he will get past Christian's security" I say.

"Are we going straight home to New York when we leave Seattle?" Josephine asks next.

I shake my head, "No we will be having a stop off in Lafayette for a few days, your mother wants to pack up her stuff and I said we would help her" I watch as Josephine's expression brightens at this news.

"So what's the plan?" she asks looking up at me.

"We are staying here for a couple of weeks with my brother and then we will head back to New York with the stop off in Lafayette and we will be in Lafayette for as long your mother wants to stay to sort her stuff out" I say.

Josephine nods and wraps her arms around me, "I love you so much Gideon, thank you for everything you have done for mom and me" she says.

I feel myself getting hard and I pull her close and kiss her deeply.

"Hey bro get a room" Elliot calls I smile and watch Josephine go bright red.

"Ignore him he's just jealous" I say loudly as I lift up my hand and flip him off, he laughs loudly at the gesture.

Josephine giggles as she buries her face into my neck, I discreetly adjust myself and once again pull her close, I never want to let this woman go.

The evening draws to a close and everyone leaves, and eventually Josephine and I make our way to bed, and at this moment I have only one thing on my mind. I close the door and lock it and turn to face Josephine who is standing staring at me I want her badly and I can tell by the look on her face she sure as hell wants me. Her eyes fall to the obvious straining bulge in my pants and she walks over and brazenly touches it, I take a sharp breath in and close my eyes. I love it how brazen she is getting now, she was so unsure of herself when we first started being intimate. She had only ever slept with Michael and from what she has told me they didn't do anything other than the real basics, since she has been with me I have awakened her sensuality and she now has the confidence and courage to initiate sex when she wants me and I have introduced her to many ways of sexual pleasure. I must admit that I was more than surprised when I found out that she had never given or received oral sex before and the first time she had gone down on me she had pulled away at the last moment, but since that first time she has gained confidence and now doesn't pull away and takes all I give to her.

"What do you want baby?" I whisper to her as she continues to caress me.

"You, always you" she says.

"Come here then" I reply hoarsely and I start to undo Josephine's shirt and skirt, I watch as her breathing becomes more and more laboured and she reaches for my jeans and unfastens them and reaches inside she pulls my dick out and strokes it.

"I love this part of you" she whispers to me and she licks my ear lobe and I nearly come there and then. I pull off her shirt and yank down her skirt and grabbing her I push her down on the bed, and in one swift movement I have divested myself of my jeans and boxers.

I lie down on the bed beside her run my hands over her body gently but firmly removing her underwear so she is gloriously naked and I pull off my t shirt. I move on top of her and start covering her body with small light kisses and I move lower and lower until I am nudging her knees wider to get to my goal, I push my finger inside her and she is soaking, her hips move as I thrust another finger inside her and then I lick her thrusting my tongue inside her, she gasps as I do this and she moves again her hips thrusting upwards. I tease her by moving back upwards towards her beautiful breasts and licking and kissing her nipples which immediately harden and she shivers.

"Gideon… please I want you" she gasps and she grabs my ass and pulls me closer, desperate for me to enter her.

"You want me baby?" I tease.

"God yes, now" she begs.

I reach down and grasping myself I push into her and the feeling is exquisite she grips me like a vice and I moan as I push further in, "Oh god baby you feel so good" I moan and I start to slowly move, we are perfectly in tune with each other and with every thrust and roll of my hips she meets me with one of her own and every time she thrusts her hips up to meet mine she moans and sighs, it turns me on beyond reason and I start to move faster. I watch the joy and pleasure on her face, and knowing I am the reason she is feeling this way arouses me even further. I shift slightly and Josephine quivers with desire. She grabs my ass and pulls me closer, we continue like this savouring every intimate moment and I lean down and kiss her gently on the lips. Her reaction is immediate and she deepens the kiss and devours me, this makes me lose every last shred of my self control and my gentle measured thrusts turn into something much more primal. I grab her hips pulling her up off the bed and I power into her.

"Oh god Gideon... yes" she cries and I know she is close.

"Give it to me baby" I grunt, as I am practically insane with desire.

I feel her tighten around me and she starts to quiver I thrust a couple more times and as I feel her come around me I explode and release myself and I feel my hot seed burst into her. I shout out her name and then releasing her hips I collapse on top of her and catch my breath.

"Thank you baby" I whisper to her and I feel her arms snake around me.

"No thank you Gideon" she replies.

I don't want to move, I can still feel my cock jerking inside her as I continue to come and she squeezes me, milking me and taking everything I give her.

After a lengthy shower and 4 more orgasms we climb into bed and fall asleep in each other's arms. I feel blessed that this woman came into my life and taught me to love again.

The next day, Chris, Christopher, Ireland and Gareth get ready to head back to New York; it was just a fleeting last minute visit for them. As we all gather in the kitchen for breakfast conversation is light and companionable. I have noticed how well Maureen has been getting on with Chris as well as Victor, Ray and Denise, and I am hoping that will continue when we get to New York it will be good for her to have someone her own age to turn to. I like Maureen she has such a steely determination after everything she has been through its no wonder really, but I am also convinced that I have detected a dark side to this woman. I noticed it before Josephine's comment last night about how she reacted to the news about Landon and I have no doubt in my mind if push came to shove she wouldn't think twice about going to the dark side to protect her daughter, the question is how far would she go? The venom and hatred that flows from her when Landon is mentioned is palpable. Josephine has told her everything that he has done and the grudge that woman holds against him is unreal.

After seeing Chris, Christopher, Ireland and Gareth off at the airport, we return to Christian's place and spend the day chilling and kicking back. We take Maureen down to the beach and she is clearly impressed at beauty of the place. We play a series of beach games and Denise joins in and it does me good to see her acting her age. I look across at her and at this moment she is laughing freely her head is thrown back and she is goofing around with Christian – today is a good day, a very good day. Byron is being watched by Maureen, Ray, Victor and Denise and they are fussing over him, delighted to have him to themselves. I don't want anything to spoil this, so my heart sinks as I see Jason and Raul walking purposefully towards us.

I walk over to greet them, "What's happened?" I ask with no preamble.

"We have good news sir" Raul says.

"Go on" I reply.

"We have found no evidence of Sybil/Elena whatever the hell her name is having been in contact with Benedict so it appears we can rule him and her out as being the reason Landon is still free to cause havoc. Jason has been in contact with his buddy at the jail and she hasn't been talking to or visiting anyone in fact since the meeting she had with Denise things have changed significantly with her" he says.

"Really, how so?" I ask, I perceive Christian appearing at my side and listening in.

Jason steps forward and takes up the explanation, "Jeff said after you and Denise left and her initial outburst where she trashed her cell, she was if you recall moved to general population as there was nowhere else to put her and she was severely beaten, that on top of the way Denise berated her it all seemed to finally break her and she has retreated inside herself so much so that she has been placed on suicide watch a number of times. It appears the revelations Denise made when she showed her the evidence of Mr Grey happy and interacting with his family shattered her more than anything else, as she always held on to the notion that she was the most important person in his life one way or another and when Denise pointed out that she wasn't and showed her the proof of that well it just... well... destroyed her".

"So she definitely hasn't been in touch with anyone?" Christian asks.

"No sir, she barely leaves her cell she has minimal contact with anyone, she is a broken woman, and forgive me for saying so, but it is no more than she deserves" Jason says coldly.

"Well that is one thing to be thankful for, so we are looking at the other two suspects now?" I ask.

Raul nods, "yes sir, we are still working on it, but I thought you'd like to know what we have discovered so far" he says.

"Thank you" I reply, I turn to Christian as Raul and Jason turn away.

"Well that's good news" I say.

My brother nods and slaps me on the shoulder, I know he still shoulders a lot of blame and self recrimination for Sybil and even after all these years he still feels responsible for the way she has infected all our lives.

The day wears on and I tell Josephine the news about what Raul and Jason have found out and she looks hopeful.

"Well that is good news isn't it?" she says her eyes shining.

I nod at her, "It is, but the fact remains he still has someone doing his bidding within the police department".

I see her thinking, "Couldn't we use this to our advantage?" she asks.

I look questioningly at her, "How so?" I ask.

"Well, when Raul finds out how Landon has been doing this, and when we find out who has been helping him why not go to Scott Benedict and sort of make it known we know of his association with Sybil and get him to help us" she says.

I stare at her, "Are you suggesting we blackmail the deputy chief of police?" I say.

She grins at me and flushes red, "No I wouldn't put it like that, but surely someone of your influence could point out to him that he has rogue cops on his force and that you are prepared to make a big stink about it and that there are aspects of his past which wouldn't look good should they come out in the process" she says mildly.

I smile at her, "I will take your suggestion under consideration" I say evasively, I can see what she is trying to say but if we go down this road it needs to be done carefully and with discretion and finesse.

We head into the sitting room and I see Denise talking on her phone as she ends the call and pushes her phone away she looks up at me and smiles.

"Everything ok sweetheart?" I ask.

She nods, "Yeah I was just talking to Janice, and she was asking when she and Jodie could see Byron again. I told her we weren't in New York at the moment and that we were on vacation and then going to Indiana for a while but I said when we got back I would arrange something, apparently Hayley is really sorry about what she did, and she wants another chance, I said no though" she says. She pauses and then continues to speak, "Apparently Landon turned up at their house and got a bit violent he was drunk and he hit Janice and Jodie and Hayley now sees her father for what he is, but he is totally out of control" she says.

I sit down beside her, "Don't worry, he won't get you here you are safe" I say.

She leans against me and sighs, "I wish he would just go away" she says sadly.

**oooOOOooo**

The vacation passes without any incident or trouble, we are all sad to leave Seattle when the time eventually comes. Maureen has become firm friends with Victor, Ray and Denise and I am not surprised when Victor left previously for California he gave her his number and since then they have been in touch regularly.

We land in Indiana and head to Maureen's home, I have arranged an apartment for her in New York and shown her the details, of it, it is close to us and to Central Park. I have informed her that she isn't to worry about anything and although she was a little resistant at first at the prospect of me funding this and she had informed me quite stridently that she didn't want to live off me.

So here we are in her small house and she is organising everyone with military precision. She knows exactly what she wants to keep, what she wants to leave and what is to be disposed of, and we all fall in line and help her get it done.

As we are going through a cupboard I am shocked when she produces a number of weapons I stare at her and she looks at me unapologetically.

"What? I have been living alone for a number of years, I needed to protect myself somehow. I took lessons and although I say it myself I am a crack shot. I may look like a sick vulnerable old woman but I assure you I'm not, I know how to look after myself" she says.

I smile, "I'm glad to hear it and I take it all these firearms are registered and legal?" I ask.

She nods at me, "Of course they are" she replies.

"Maureen, very few people surprise me" I say with a grin.

She laughs, "I have never had cause to use them, but it is comforting to know if in a position to do so I could defend myself" she says. I think of my brother and his stridently anti gun stance, I am ambivalent to the whole issue, as I can see both sides of the argument.

The day continues and we get a great deal done. We are pleased by the time evening comes and we have everything more or less sorted and now all we need is for the crates and boxes which are coming with us to New York to be transported there. I leave the logistics of that in Raul's capable hands.

It is late evening and after a simple supper Liv and Zoe head to bed Denise is sitting feeding Byron and Maureen, Josephine and myself are sitting chatting on the sofa, its nice after all the years I spent totally alone I never take for granted the concept of family and companionship.

My phone buzzes and I pull it out I am surprised to see a text from Janice. I open it and read it and stiffen at the words.

_**Ryan is on his way to Indiana, he knows where you all are – he is dangerous.**_

I glance at Denise and push the phone into my pocket but Maureen and Josephine have both noticed my reaction. Maureen stands and walks towards the kitchen "Gideon would you help me please?" she asks and I get up and follow her, Josephine also stands and accompanies me out.

"What's happened Gideon?" Josephine asks as soon as we are alone.

I pull my phone out and show her the text. Maureen also reads it and her face darkens.

"How does he know?" she asks.

"I have no idea, but we are like sitting ducks here" I say.

I watch as Maureen looks at me, Josephine seems to crumble and she trembles at the thought of Landon being in the vicinity, but in contrast Maureen is calm and eerily composed.

"Josie sweetheart go and sit down this has upset you, but the last thing we need is Denise finding out about this" she says.

I watch Josephine pull herself together and nod I give her a reassuring hug and kiss and she goes back in to the sitting room.

Maureen watches her and as soon as we are alone she turns to me a determined expression on her face. "Gideon, listen to me that man has to go" she hisses.

"Tell me about it" I say.

She takes a step closer and places her hand on my arm, "Well, I am prepared to do what needs to be done" she says looking meaningfully at me.

I am now on full alert and wondering what message she is trying to give me, "What exactly are you getting at?" I ask warily.

She pauses and picks her words carefully, "Indiana law is very clear, if someone violates your home, and is a threat to you or your family and you need to protect yourself against them, you can stand your ground without fear of prosecution" she says.

I stare at her, she is telling me that she is prepared to shoot Landon and kill him, my mind goes back to when I killed Nathan Barker, but can I let this woman do this?

"Could you live with the knowledge you had taken someone's life?" I ask quietly.

"Quite easily" she replies, "That man destroyed my daughters life and was involved in the death of my son in law. I'll be damned if he destroys her again, and he has done enough to your family too, and you are now my family Gideon" she says.

I swallow hard as she says that, "Let me get Raul" I say and step away from her.

"No, I have to do this" she says firmly as she reaches for me once more.

"Alright, but let me get Raul involved we need to be clear on this, if we are going to allow him access to the house and he is as dangerous and unstable as we believe he is we need to be sure that nobody is going to get hurt, especially Denise or Byron" I say.

I watch as she considers this and nods in agreement.

"Alright, I can live with that" she says.

"Let's do this" I say firmly.

After a comprehensive discussion with Raul we are all clear on what needs to be done, I have serious concerns how this will affect Denise and Raul quickly comes up with a solution.

"What if she isn't here?" he says.

We stare at him, "What do you mean?" I say.

"How about we send Josephine, the girls and Byron home with Maureen's belongings under the guise that some issues have cropped up with the house sale and you are remaining with Maureen to help rectify it" he says.

I nod, "Let's do it" I say.

"I have details of all flights to Indiana from New York and there is no record of him so I did a bit of digging and he is driving to Indiana – it would appear that he has lost his cash cow. Your mother has dropped him and this has made him even more unstable but it also gives us the advantage that we can get everything in place get the girls, Byron and Josephine out of here and be ready for him. I also know how he found out - Hayley is still under his influence and she overheard Janice's conversation with Denise and passed it on again" he says.

I shake my head, "I am fucking sick of that family" I say.

Raul nods sympathetically, "I know, but I believe Hayley isn't co-operating out of the goodness of her heart, or love for her father. I believe it is fear, pure and simple, she is afraid of him and what he has become and feels it is in her best interests to do as he says, as she has seen what he has done to Janice and Jodie in his rages" he says.

"When this is over we will reach out and offer the services of Ella's Lodge to her, Janice and Jodie" I say firmly and Raul nods in agreement.


	42. Chapter 42

CHAPTER 42

The next day things move swiftly and smoothly, Josephine and Denise swallow the story about me staying behind to help Maureen sort out issues with the sale of the house and they leave Indiana along with Liv and Zoe and all Maureen's belongings with no complaint or argument. Paul, Davis and Andy are with them and I know they will all be safe, Raul insisted on staying with me which didn't raise any concerns from anyone as it was perfectly acceptable that he would do so.

Raul has information on Landon and is following his progress across the country towards Indiana. He is at present about half way it is a twelve hour journey and he is using route 70, he is currently just outside Pittsburgh so he is approx 6 ½ hours away, he has made good progress and if he continues using the same route he should be here by the end of today. I am hoping that this will work to our advantage, but at this moment all we have to do and can do is wait.

**(DENISE)**

I have to say it is good to be back in New York, I love staying with Uncle Christian and this time has been extra special as we got to meet Maureen – Josephine's mom and take her with us, I really like her and I can see us becoming close. Liv likes her too and Zoe, well Zoe loves everyone! I am a little nervous at the moment not having dad or Raul here but he has assured me that nothing is going to happen. We have Andy, Paul and Davis with us, and dad has said that there is no way Ryan Landon will get past the security downstairs without a fight so I am confident all will be well until my dad gets back with Maureen, but there was no choice in the matter there was some fuck up with the sale of the house and dad needs to be there to help her sort it out. We were met at the airport by my grandfather and a section of my father's team and as we made our way back to the apartment they set to and transported all Maureen's belongings to the apartment dad has set up for her.

We are all sitting in our living room, Zoe is happy in her own little world sketching. Liv is writing and I am just watching my son playing happily. Josephine comes in with a tray of drinks and cookies; it makes me smile, as she is such a mom. I have no doubts that she will make a brilliant mom when she and dad finally decide to have a baby together. I glance at Liv, I think she has come to terms with that, she and Josephine had an extensive talk about it at Maureen's house and I think she was reassured I don't know what was said and I'm not going to pry as it was between them, but I do know dad talked to her as well. I take the glass of milk and a cookie and thank Josephine. She sits down beside me and takes a gulp of her own drink.

"We never did get around to visiting your mother's grave" she says suddenly.

Liv looks up immediately and comes and sits closer to us.

"No, with everything that has happened we never got around to doing it" I say and I feel guilty as I am most of those reasons.

"Perhaps when your dad and my mother get back we should, its only right I pay my respects to Eva and at the same time I can visit Michael, as I haven't been for a while. Plus my mother has never been to his grave and paid her respects either" she says.

"Didn't your mom go to the funeral when he died?" Liv asks in surprise.

Josephine shakes her head, "No she was too sick to travel at that point and besides it was too expensive for her to come" she says sadly.

I immediately remember mom's funeral and how everyone flew in from around the country without a second thought.

"So who was there to support you?" I ask.

She shakes her head, "I was alone, a few of our work colleagues came and paid their respects but I had no family present and none of Michael's family were there either as it was just too far for them to travel" she says.

My heart immediately goes out to this woman that she had to go through all that alone. "When dad gets back we will definitely make time to go" I say and Liv nods her head in agreement and reaches out and slips her hand into Josephine's.

"Did you get the headstone sorted out for Michael's grave?" I ask warily, I remember that she had been saving for years for it when she first met my dad.

She nods and smiles, "I did, your father insisted on contributing to it as well, and he helped me get a reputable stonemason to erect it" she says, she pauses and looks at her drink, before she speaks again, "Your father has been so kind to me and my family" she says.

"You are our family now" Liv says reaching out to her and I stare at Liv, a little surprised to hear that, it appears my sister has now got over whatever issues and concerns she had. I can see that Liv's words have touched Josephine as well.

It's late afternoon when dad calls to check in with us and see if everything is alright, we assure him all is well and that we are missing him, and he says he hopes to return to New York tomorrow and that hopefully by the end of today everything will be resolved.

It's nice having such a lazy nothing kind of day. No drama, no issues, just nothing. I lean back and close my eyes and stretch contentedly it's been such a long while since I have done this – just sit and do absolutely nothing without my brain working overtime and conjuring up bad thoughts, today is a good day. It reminds me I need to call Dr Travis for my daily therapy session, and I place the call and wait.

"Dr Travis's office, how may I help you?" the voice of Dr Travis's assistant Karen, says.

"Erm... hello Karen it's Denise Cross calling" I say.

"Hello Denise, one moment please" I wait and then I hear Dr Travis on the line.

"Denise, how are you today?" he asks.

"I'm good; very good actually, today is a good day. I have managed to sit and do absolutely nothing without my mind putting stupid ideas and thoughts into my head" I say.

"Well that is wonderful to hear, may I ask what has brought about this state of affairs?" he asks.

I sit and think, "Well… we have been in Seattle for a while with Uncle Christian and Aunty Ana… we always go at the beginning of the school holidays, so that was good and we have met Josephine's mom and we stayed with her for a while as well in Indiana and she came with us to Seattle to meet Uncle Christian and Aunty Ana, and there was a bit of a thing while we were there where we had like this huge group therapy session. It turned out everyone had something to say, and had something on their mind – even Zoe and everything was brought out into the open and talked about it was good" I say.

"It sounds very good and healthy" Dr Travis says.

"Yeah, I also think that I've also come to terms with a few things too" I say.

"Oh?" he asks.

"Yeah, I was feeling guilty about having feelings for this boy I know. I felt I was being unfaithful to Josh, but I talked it over with dad and Josephine and they told me how they felt, because I mean dad lost mom and then met Josephine and she also had a husband who was murdered before she was with dad and she loved him and they said they felt the same way and that it was normal but that I had every right to some happiness, but dad wasn't too impressed by the fact Nicky – that's the guy had told me he loves me, and he's worried Nicky won't be understanding about my love for Josh. But as I said to dad, he knows that I'm not ready to give him anything more than friendship at the moment. I like him I really do but Byron is my priority and I'm not ready to get into another heavy relationship yet" I stop speaking and wait for Dr Travis's response.

"Well there is nothing I can really add to that Denise you have worked it all out for yourself and found a solution which you find acceptable and I am pleased that you have done so, is there anything else you want to talk about?" he asks.

I hesitate a moment and the spectre of Ryan Landon once again fills my mind, "I am still worried about Ryan Landon, he is awfully quiet at the moment and I am waiting for the other shoe to drop if you get what I mean… I just want him out of our lives for good" I say.

"He is definitely an annoying issue" Dr Travis agrees.

"Yeah, but I have decided to look at the positives, while he is quiet he isn't bugging me is he?" I say.

"That is very true" Dr Travis acknowledges.

"So as that is the best I can hope for at the moment I am going to take it" I say.

"That is a very wise decision" Dr Travis says.

"I'm not going to let him get to me again" I say firmly.

"That is also very good to hear Denise" Dr Travis says kindly.

I hesitate a moment and then confess to something else, something I wasn't even aware I was thinking until now… until I started thinking about fucking Landon again. "I am a little anxious because my dad isn't here at the moment, we all returned to New York but he had to stay in Indiana because he is helping Josephine's mom to relocate to New York to be closer and there was some issue with the house sale or something, but he is hoping to come home tomorrow" I say.

"Why are you worried about his absence? Dr Travis asks.

"In case Ryan Landon tries something while he isn't here" I say.

"Surely you have adequate security surrounding you?" he asks.

"Yes and dad has said he won't get past the desk downstairs but the worry is still there" I say.

"I can imagine it is, but think about what have you just said to me, that you are going to look at the positives that while he isn't actually doing anything that is a good thing and to focus on that fact, _not_ wait for him to reappear and cause trouble" Dr Travis says.

I have to agree with that point. We talk a while longer and eventually my session comes to an end, I wrap things up and say goodbye.

**oooOOOooo**

The rest of the day passes without incident. It's nearly 10pm and I am feeling suddenly restless and _really _worried and I can't figure out why. It occurs to me that how I am feeling reminds me of the time that I woke up and knew instinctively my dad needed me when I was in California and I called him in the middle of the night only to find out he was awake and had, had a dream which had bothered him.

Liv and Zoe have long since gone to bed and Byron is also sleeping peacefully. I go in search of Josephine and find her in the sitting room reading a book, she looks up at me and smiles but it fades though as she looks at me and she immediately puts the book down and stands up and walks towards me.

"What is it? What's wrong?" she asks.

I shake my head and rub my chest nervously "I don't know, I just have a bad feeling and I can't shake it. I know it's ridiculous but I just feel as though something is wrong... I want my dad" I say.

Josephine smiles at me reassuringly, "Ok come and sit down and we'll call him" she says gently and she picks up her cell phone and calls my dad's cell phone. She waits and then she frowns and my anxiety immediately spikes. "It's going straight to his voicemail" she says.

"Dad never switches his phone off" I whisper as the fear increases dramatically.

"Come on it's alright, don't panic, there is bound to be a perfectly reasonable explanation for this" she says and she wraps her arm around me.

I try and stop thinking the worst and I nod. I watch as Josephine puts her phone down beside her and pulls me closer.

"Will I do for now?" she asks, "Talk to me Denise tell me why you are worried?" she says.

I take a deep breath, "It sounds stupid but it's like I know something is wrong. I have no idea what but something just isn't right. I have felt like this before, when I was in California with granddad and Liv when you and dad first got together, I woke up in the middle of the night with this sort of feeling, and I just felt that I needed to call my dad. I almost felt as though he needed me, and it turned out that he did, he was awake because he had had a dream and it had bothered him and we sat and talked about it" I stop and expect her to tell me I'm being stupid, but she doesn't.

"I understand what you mean; it's like a sixth sense, I used to have moments like that with my mom. The only thing I can put it down to is the fact you are here and your dad is in Indiana, but he called earlier to check in with us and everything was ok. So there is no reason to assume anything else has happened since then and if it had, Raul is there and he would surely have called us, wouldn't he?" she says.

I immediately calm at that fact as Josephine is totally right and that is true, if anything bad had happened to dad Raul would have called and the guys here would know, and they are in the kitchen playing cards and are totally relaxed so with that comforting thought I start to calm down.

"I'm just being silly" I say, but Josephine shakes her head.

"No you're not, not at all" she says.

She has barely got the words out of her mouth when the house phone rings; she pulls away from me and reaches over to answer it.

"Hello... mom hi!" she says brightly and then I see her expression change her face goes white and then she looks at me and panic rises in me immediately and I lean forward desperate for her to say something. Josephine reaches out blindly for my hand and she looks like she is going to pass out any second and she is shaking. I can't stand it anymore and I reach forward and I grasp her outstretched hand whilst grabbing the phone in my other hand.

"Maureen is that you? This is Denise, what's happened, is everything ok?" I say sharply.

"Denise, I was just telling Josephine that there has been an incident, now before you get upset please don't, your dad is going to be ok" she says.

"What do you mean _going _to be ok? Why? What's happened? What the fuck is going on?" I snap as my anxiety starts to spiral out of control.

"Denise honey calm down… we had an unexpected visitor tonight. We had an intruder in the house, your father and I were talking and someone broke in" she says.

"Oh my god" I gasp.

"Denise honey… it was Ryan Landon and he was looking for you and Byron… and he had a gun. He shot your dad, but he was so drunk he only wounded him, so he is fine - absolutely fine. We are at the hospital right now and your dad is getting patched up as we speak" she says.

"Where the fuck was Raul?" I gasp.

"He was there but it all happened so quickly" Maureen says calmly.

"Is my dad there? Put him on I want to speak to him" I demand.

"Honey, I'm sorry I can't. He is being stitched at the moment and I am waiting outside, they wouldn't let me in… do you want to talk to Raul as he is here with me?" she asks.

"Yes, let me talk to Raul please" I say and I wait as I hear the phone being passed over.

"Listen to me Denise your dad is fine. Landon took us all by surprise he had a gun and he shot your dad, but he got him in the arm and the bullet missed everything and he is going to be fine, it was just a flesh wound but I listen to me carefully Denise because this is really important sweetheart, you are free of Landon... he's dead" he says calmly.

I gasp as I hear those words, "You shot him?" I ask, and a surge of relief courses through me at the thought Landon is really gone.

"No, Maureen did, she had a gun – apparently she has had it for years and she didn't think twice about using it, she shot him" Raul says.

I gasp again and take a shot look at Josephine who is listening to my side of the conversation "Is she in trouble? What will happen will she go to jail?" I ask.

"No sweetheart, you see there is a law in Indiana, if someone violates your home and you shoot them in self defence it's not a crime. The police came and have taken statements from all of us and with all the evidence we have stacked up against Landon as well it was quickly established that he was a threat and Maureen acted in self defence, he threatened her with the gun when he arrived and your dad stepped in and that was when he shot him, and then Maureen feared for her own safety so she grabbed her gun and shot him. But all you need to know is your dad is alive, he is fine and as soon as I am able to do so I will get him to call you and reassure you. But the thing you need to concentrate on is the fact you are free of Ryan Landon, he can't hurt you again" Raul says insistently.

"Ok" I say, the tears are flowing now relief and joy at the fact I no longer have to look over my shoulder waiting for Landon to strike. "But dad is definitely ok?" I say again.

"Absolutely fine, it was just a flesh wound" Raul reiterates.

"Can I talk to Maureen now" I ask.

"Sure" Raul says and I hear him hand over the phone.

"Hello" she says.

"Maureen, are you alright, I'm so sorry you had to go through that, I'm so sorry" I gasp.

"No Denise don't, I did what had to be done. He was unstable he was waving the gun around and demanding to know where you were and where Byron was, and when he fired I thought I would be next so I just reacted and shot him" she says.

"But you are ok and you are not in any trouble?" I ask.

"I am honey don't you worry about me and no I'm not in any trouble" she says.

"Ok, I'll put Josephine back on now" I say. I hand the phone back and then I reach for my cell phone. I call Dr Travis its late but he said I could call him at any time.

"Hello" he says.

"Dr Travis its Denise, something has happened" I say.

"Denise, what's wrong?" he asks.

"My dad has been shot. Ryan Landon broke into Maureen's house in Indiana and shot my dad" I say.

"Is he alright?" Dr Travis asks.

"Apparently he is, I've not been able to talk to him but Raul and Maureen have assured me it is just a flesh wound on his arm" I say.

"Alright what about Ryan Landon has he been arrested?" he asks.

"No… he's dead, Maureen had a gun and she feared for her safety and she shot him" I say.

There is a brief silence and then he speaks again, "I see, well from what you have told me it was clearly self defence and Indiana State Law states that anyone who kills in self defence in their own home isn't at risk of prosecution" he says.

"That's what Raul said" I say, I feel slightly better now I have heard this fact a second time.

"How are you feeling about this?" Dr Travis asks.

"I'm just glad I wasn't there and Byron wasn't there, and I'm relieved that dad is going to be ok, but I will feel better once I have spoken to him" I say.

"And what are your feelings about the fact Ryan Landon is dead?" Dr Travis asks.

I stop and think, "Honestly? I'm glad... does that make me a monster?" I ask.

"No Denise it doesn't" Dr Travis says gently.

"After everything he has done, I'm glad. I am relieved I no longer have to worry about him doing something. I feel sorry for Jodie and Hayley I mean despite everything he did he was still their dad, but he obviously didn't think of that fact when he decided to travel to Indiana and break into someone's house and start waving a gun around" I say.

"That is a well reasoned response" Dr Travis says.

We talk for a while longer and when I end the call I feel ok, I am still worried about my dad and I want him to call me so I can hear his voice and know he is truly ok, but apart from that I do feel alright.

A short while later my cell phone rings and I see my dad's name and I fall on it and answer quickly.

"Daddy? Daddy are you alright, what happened? Are you badly hurt, are you ok?" the questions tumble out my mouth one after another.

"Calm down Denise, I'm fine honestly. Maureen was very brave, Landon broke in – he was going to try and snatch Byron and he completely lost it when he realised you weren't there. He got me but honestly its nothing, I've been stitched up and I am absolutely fine. Maureen isn't facing any charges for what she did as it was self defence so everything is good and Landon is out of our lives forever" he says. There is a pause and then he speaks again, "Talk to me Denise, and tell me you are alright?" he says anxiously.

"I'm fine dad, honestly, now I have heard your voice and I know you are really ok I feel fine, I did have a bit of a wobble but I called Dr Travis and talked it through and I am fine honestly" I say.

"Good, I'm glad" my dad says I can hear the relief in his voice.

There is a brief pause and then he speaks again, "Look I'm going now, I've just been discharged we have sorted everything here and we are coming home" he says.

"Ok dad, see you soon… I love you daddy" I say, and the tears start to fall again.

"And I love you too sweetheart" he replies.

**(GIDEON)**

I hang up the phone from my daughter and I feel happier now, now that I know she is ok. I wasn't particularly happy about Maureen calling Josephine and telling her as I knew that would have had an effect on Denise as well as Josephine but I couldn't really say anything after everything she has done tonight. But she did it and Denise was there and inevitably got worried but thankfully Raul took charge and reassured her I was fine.

I have just decided that I am going to talk to the media now. We leave the hospital and I have my injured arm in a sling. There are a number of reporters waiting; god knows how they get to hear about these things. I wrap my good arm around Maureen and pause in front of them. I hate the media but on this occasion I had hoped there would be some media presence tonight so I can get the word out about Landon and also get myself in front of a camera so Denise and Josephine can see for themselves that I am really ok. I need the word that Landon went too far to be out there before there is any distortion of the facts. I want everyone to know what he was like – call it my revenge and closure. Raul has contacted Janice and told her what happened and offered our apologises to her and her daughters, but at the same time told her there was no other choice for Maureen to do anything other than what she did as her life was in jeopardy. Janice was by all accounts horrified at what Landon's had done and yet not overly concerned by his death. He had done too much and caused her too much trouble and she was oddly pragmatic about what had gone down tonight. When I spoke to her I got the same impression from her I believe that when he had attacked her and their daughters he had killed any remaining love she had for him and I also believe that now he is out of the picture she will be able to have unhindered access to Byron without fear of any repercussions.

I stand in front of the media pack, who are at this moment working themselves up into an excited frenzy as I don't normally make a point of stopping and speaking to them. I wait and realisation dawns on them that until they quieten I am not going to speak and calm descends over them, flashbulbs are constant but as soon as there is calm I begin to speak.

"Hello, as you are all possibly aware I am Gideon Cross, and tonight I was shot and injured by Ryan Landon who has been pursuing an aggressive vendetta against my daughter for a number of months now. He has been threatening and stalking her, violating numerous restraining orders placed against him. Tonight I was at the home of this lady, Maureen Booth who is the mother of my fiancée Josephine Harris, helping her with her relocation to New York, when Landon broke into her home. He was armed and unstable and it was obvious that he was attempting to gain access to and possibly snatch my grandson. Thankfully my fiancée, daughters and grandson had returned to New York earlier today. When Landon realised they were not present he became unpredictable, violent and threatening to Mrs Booth and myself. Before my Head of Security could react he shot me in the arm but thankfully it is only a superficial wound and Mrs Booth fearing for her own safety grabbed her own firearm and shot Landon fatally wounding him. Paramedics and law enforcement were immediately contacted and Landon was pronounced dead at the scene. Police took our statements and as Landon had entered the house unlawfully – causing criminal damage in the process and was armed and dangerous it was deemed that Mrs Booth had acted in self defence and no further action will be taken against her for her brave and selfless actions tonight". I stop speaking and am immediately bombarded with questions.

"Mr Cross is it true that Ryan Landon lost his company to you recently?"

"It is, but that isn't relevant to this situation. He was looking for my grandson and was attempting to forcibly remove him from my daughter Denise, he has threatened to do this many times and we found a large amount of baby paraphernalia in his car so his intentions were clear that it was my grandson he was aiming for tonight" I say.

"Isn't it true Ryan Landon's late son was the father of your daughters baby?" Another reporter shouts.

I sigh, "Yes it is true, Ryan Landon's late son Joshua was in a relationship with my daughter and was the father to her child, and since Joshua's untimely death Landon pursued a vendetta against my daughter, as he wrongfully blamed her for his death - evidence of which was posted on the internet when he behaved appallingly at his own sons funeral service and he has repeatedly threatened my daughter and her son resulting in restraining orders being placed against him which he has repeatedly violated, going as far as following my daughter to California when my daughter went to stay with her grandfather and breaking into her hospital room and threatening her shortly after she gave birth".

"So Landon was attempting to kidnap the child?"

"Yes. We believe that was his intention, as he was asking where my daughter and my grandson were and where we were hiding them. When Mrs Booth informed him they were no longer in Indiana he started shouting and cursing and behaving erratically and then he shot me with no provocation. Mrs Booth feared for her own safety as he turned the gun on her and she protected herself against him and as I previously said when his car was searched it was found to contain a large amount of baby related paraphernalia".

I pause and hold up my hand. "No more questions as I am sure you will appreciate I need to rest and I wish to get some sleep before returning to New York" I move away as more questions are thrown at me and at Maureen but we ignore them and climb into the car. Raul drives us straight to the airport where my jet is waiting to take us home to New York.

"That went rather well for an off the cuff performance" I say. I know I will have my PR department jumping up and down at my actions tonight but I needed to do it and I followed my gut.

As we are waiting to take off my phone rings I glance at it and see it is Christian and I quickly answer.

"WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?" he yells as soon as I pick up, I pull the phone away from my ear and close my eyes with regret as he sound frantic and I kick myself for not calling him.

"Hi bro, I'm fine, how are you?" I say, hoping to lighten the atmosphere and calm him down.

"Cut the fucking crap Gideon what happened?" he retorts, I can hear the anxiety in his voice and I know he is scared.

"Christian calm down I'm fine honestly, I take it the news has reached the media in Seattle" I glance at my watch, "half an hour they are slacking" I say sarcastically.

"Yes it has" he says.

"Well it's pretty much as I told the media tonight outside the hospital" I say.

"Where the fuck was Raul?" he snaps.

I smile, he has stopped short of demanding he is fired but I'm sure those thoughts have gone through his mind, "He was there, but Maureen got there first, it was a volatile situation bro, it all happened so fast" I say.

"There is something you are not telling me Gideon" Christian says suspiciously.

I smile, my brother knows me so well. "Look I am fine, Maureen is unhurt and Landon is dead there is nothing more to tell" I say.

"Fucking good job Denise and Byron had gone home" he says.

"It was" I agree, "I sent them home earlier in the day with Maureen's belongings, we were just tying up loose ends" I add.

There is a pause, "fortuitous stroke of luck that you had sent your fiancée, daughters and grandson home first" he adds, and the way he says it tells me he has now worked things out.

"Indeed it was" I say blandly.

There is another distinct silence before he speaks again, "Ok bro, I'll let you go and I'll call you tomorrow" he says eventually.

"Goodnight Christian and don't worry I'm fine" I say. I hang up and look at Maureen, "my brother, he worries" I say by way of explanation.

I sit back in my seat and close my eyes, as the plane hurtles down the runway and my mind goes over the events of this evening...

"_Everyone is safely back in New York" I say as I hang up and push my phone back into my pocket. Maureen nods at me; I look carefully at her, "Are you sure about this?" I ask._

_She nods firmly, "I am, because that man has caused too much pain - he has to go. When Josie told me that he was involved in Michael's death and how he manipulated her afterwards that is just sick, who does something like that?" she says. I nod, "and the way he has hounded that poor girl, threatening her and driving her out of her mind. The world would be a better place without him in it, I'm sure of it, I don't normally advocate murder but if he has the police in his pocket there is no telling what he might try next because he will believe he is untouchable, and he is unstable as well - hubris and insanity is a dangerous combination, he has to go!" she says firmly._

_I nod in agreement but I worry about how this will affect her, I had no qualms about killing Nathan Barker but even now all these years later I can recall and replay that time with clarity, I don't want her to go through that. "This is very true, but are you sure you are prepared to live with what you are going to do, taking a life is something which is so final I need to know you are going to be able to cope with it" I say._

_Maureen nods firmly and she looks at me carefully, "I can do this, don't worry about me. Will you be able to live with the knowledge we did this? I mean you are high profile person, there will be media interest and questions asked?" she asks._

_I nod, "I can live with it" I say. "I will arrange some sort of press statement when we get back to New York or something. The media are aware of what Landon has been doing when he lost it at Josh's funeral it was all over the internet within moments and the fact we have had numerous restraining orders placed against him is public record" I say._

"_How do you think Denise will handle it, she is still very vulnerable and she has faced so much death already, will this affect her negatively?" she asks._

_I think for a moment, "In the space of five years she has lost her mother, her best friend and her boyfriend and father of her baby, these people all meant something to her. She loved all these people and cared about them. They played a huge role in her life and they left a gap, Ryan Landon doesn't fall into that category, he is an irritating annoyance at best and a dangerous threat at worst. She hates him and she has said numerous times that she wishes he would just go away and leave her alone so taking that into consideration I believe she will be fine – hopefully she will focus on the fact she is free of him. I think the only issue we could possibly face, will be that she may feel guilty for you being placed in the position that you had to protect yourself against him, but we will face that if and when it happens" I say._

_Maureen nods, "So much death that poor girl has faced, I hope you are right, as the last thing I want to do is damage her recovery, because… and I'll be straight with you I am doing this for revenge, to avenge Michael's death and the affect that had on my daughter, it is that pure and simple"._

"_I understand but I also need you to know that we can still call this off, we don't have to do this, if you have any doubts at all just say and we will drop it and find another way" I say._

_Maureen shakes her head firmly, "No he has to go, before he ruins any more lives, we have a duty to that little baby to protect him from that man" she says._

_We spend the afternoon getting all the loose ends tied up, Maureen is astounded that I have pulled this move together so quickly, but it was all pretty straight forward. As we sit chatting Raul appears, I look up waiting for him to speak._

"_Landon is about an hour away" he says._

_I nod and glance at Maureen, "Still chance to back out" I say._

_She shakes her head and reaches for my hand "No, we need to get this man out of your daughter's life" she says._

"_Ok" I say._

_Raul joins us and keeps tabs on Landon and his movements, Maureen is fascinated by how he can do this, "Is this tracking legal?" she asks him as she watches his laptop screen._

_Raul grins, "Technically speaking we are doing nothing illegal" he says evasively._

_Yes but we wouldn't have this information without the ingenious mind of Christian's IT man Barney, and how he manages to procure it isn't always totally above board. I think to myself but Maureen doesn't need to know that._

_I have spent the afternoon talking with Maureen and she is one feisty and determined lady, she has had a rough life, single mom to Josephine she worked several jobs to keep the family home after her husband died and she did it to keep Josephine in a stable and familiar environment. I marvel at how she put Josephine and her needs first and it also makes me realise just how selfish my own mother was._

_We are chatting when Raul pokes his head around the door, "He's arrived - he is about 5 minutes away" he tells us. I nod and stand up Maureen stands with me and I reach for her and give her a hug._

"_Last chance, you are sure about this?" I ask._

_Maureen nods and hugs me tightly, "This cat and mouse game he is playing with you and your family ends tonight" she says._

_I nod and I leave the room. Maureen sits down and Raul joins her. About 10 minutes later a car pulls up outside. We have locked all the doors so he has to physically break in as this will help the case for self defence. My heart is thudding the last thing I want is any harm to come to Maureen and I suddenly have second thoughts about this, just as I decide to call a halt I hear the sound of breaking glass. I watch as I see Landon coming in through the kitchen shit he has a gun in his hand. He pauses as he hears Maureen and Raul chatting and a smile crosses his lips, from my hiding place I watch him quietly head upstairs and I realise his intention is to snatch Byron, by force if necessary and this immediately galvanises my resolve to see this through. I hear him upstairs and he is getting more and more agitated, he is cursing and muttering to himself, then he comes down and I watch him heading towards the living room where Raul and Maureen are with a look of insane fury on his face. _

"_Nobody move" he yells as he bursts in. I hear Maureen shriek and I leave my hiding place and walk slowly towards the living room. The door is ajar and Landon has his back to me, it is obvious that he is agitated and unpredictable. _

"_Where the fuck are they?" he hisses waving his gun at Raul and then Maureen. I watch as Raul steps in front of Maureen to protect her he can see Landon isn't behaving rationally and this is a highly volatile situation._

"_I said where the fuck are they?" he says again._

"_Who?" Maureen asks and I marvel at the steady tone of her voice._

"_My grandson and that bitch and her family, where are they?" he screams._

"_Gone" Maureen says._

"_Don't fucking lie, if they are gone why is he still here?" he asks pointing his gun at Raul._

"_Because I am still here too" I say as I walk in through the door. Landon spins on the spot and fires the gun, shit I wasn't expecting that. I move and then I feel a sharp intense pain in my upper arm, fuck he hit me! I see him smile at me, as I clutch at my arm to try and stem the flow of blood._

"_Where the fuck is my grandson?" he asks me waving the gun around and he points it at me again._

"_In New York, they went home this morning. I stayed because we found out you were coming" I spit at him, I watch as he realises he has walked into a trap._

"_You fucking bastard Cross!" he screams and raises his gun again to shoot me. I see Raul has drawn his gun and is screaming at Landon to drop his, but it is Maureen who is in total charge here she has moved and she is taking aim. _

"_Hey Landon" she calls coldly, he turns and as he does so and is facing her she doesn't hesitate and she pulls the trigger. There is a look of astonishment on his face as she pumps off four rounds directly into his chest. The gun falls from his hand and he collapses on to the floor. I stare at her in awe as she calmly puts down the gun and picks up the phone and dials 911. _

"_Hello Police, I have just killed an intruder in my home, he broke in and was brandishing a gun and he shot my friend but he is still alive but he is bleeding heavily so he needs urgent medical attention, he was going to shoot me... thank you" she says._

_I watch as she gives the person on the end of the phone her address and name and then she hangs up, she looks at me and I realise I have slid down the doorway and am on the floor now._

"_Gideon let me look" Maureen says as she comes towards me, I wince as she gently lifts my arm. "Raul" she says and Raul rushes to her side. "We need to stop the blood flow" she says frantically._

_Raul grabs my arm and lifts it. I moan in pain and he frantically looks around the room for something to make a tourniquet unfortunately everything is packed and the room is bare, but thankfully moments later the police and paramedics arrive. Their eyes widen as they recognise me and the paramedics leap into action to help me. _

_Landon is pronounced dead and the police officers start to ask questions._

"_Mrs... erm... Booth, can you tell me what happened here tonight?" the officer says holding his notebook._

_She nods, "Yes sir, we were just getting ready to leave for the airport, as you can see the room is empty. I am relocating to New York to be closer to my daughter" the police officer glances at me, I can tell he is wondering how I come into this, Maureen also realises this and continues to explain, "my daughter is Gideon's fiancée and he was helping me move, he had just left the room for a moment when I heard someone breaking in, the sound came from the kitchen, and the next thing I knew that man burst in and was waving a gun at me asking me where they were, I asked him who they were as I was confused and he said my grandson and that bitch and her family or words to that effect, at that I realised who he was and tried to explain to him that they weren't here but he didn't believe me he said if he was here they must be" she says pointing to Raul, "at which point Gideon came in and said that Raul was here because he was and he just spun around and just opened fire on Gideon, it was totally unprovoked and it happened so quickly we were unable to react to stop him and I was terrified so I pulled my gun from my purse. I'd forgotten to pack it and slipped it into my purse for safe keeping until I was able to pack it properly. The man turned and stepped towards me waving the gun at me and I was so scared, Raul had his gun drawn by this point and was telling him to put the gun down but he wasn't rational and when he pointed the gun at me I just shot him, I was so scared he had already shot Gideon without thinking about it and I was convinced he would shoot me too". She stops and waits._

_Another police officer enters the room "Evidence of a break in, in the kitchen" he says._

_I watch as Raul gives his testimony and tells the story from his perspective, being careful to corroborate Maureen's story. The police officer's eyes fall on Raul's laptop._

"_Whose is that?" he asks pointing._

"_Mine officer" Raul says, "I was using the opportunity to check my correspondence before we left and check the flight details while we waited for Mr Cross to return" he says._

"_And you were leaving the house?" the officer says._

_Maureen nods, "Yes, Gideon has been helping me to relocate to New York to be closer to my daughter, that is why he and Raul are here, and we were literally just finishing off and going to leave when this man broke in" she says._

_The officer crouches and pulls Landon's wallet from his pocket and his eyes widen as he realises who it is._

"_That is Ryan Landon, he has been stalking and harassing my daughter for months and has violated several restraining orders his actions culminated in having a detrimental effect on my daughters mental health she recently tried to commit suicide to get away from him we have full documentation to back up these claims and I believe he was here today to try and snatch my daughters son" I say calmly._

_The officer scribbles all this down and an officer leaves the room and heads outside, moments later he returns "Sir there is a blue station wagon parked outside with a large amount of baby goods inside, the car is registered to a Mr Ryan Landon, it appears Mr Cross's theory about Mr Landon wanting to take the child was accurate" he says._

_The paramedics have stemmed the flow of bleeding and are anxious to get me to the hospital; Maureen looks up at the police officer._

"_Am I under arrest?" she asks quietly._

_The police officer looks around and then at me, and shakes his head._

"_No ma'am, you are fully protected by Indiana state law, we call it the stand your ground castle doctrine law. It states that a person – in this case you, is justified in using reasonable force against another person to protect the person or a third person from what the person reasonably believes to be the imminent use of unlawful force. However, a person is justified in using deadly force; and does not have a duty to retreat if the person reasonably believes that that force is necessary to prevent serious bodily injury to the person or a third person or the commission of a forcible felony. No person in this state shall be placed in legal jeopardy of any kind whatsoever for protecting the person or a third person by reasonable means necessary. There is clear evidence that Mr Landon broke into the house and he fired his gun once on Mr Cross here so it was reasonable for you to assume he wouldn't think twice about shooting you and you rightfully protected yourself and were justified in using deadly force in this instance" he says._

_I watch Maureen sigh with relief and thank the officer profusely. Landon's body is taken away and I am led to the ambulance. I notice that the officer follows and I realise he wants to question me._

_I am patched up at the hospital and given pain killers to ease the now dull ache in my arm. I am questioned by the police and I don't hesitate to inform them of Landon's vendetta against Denise and Byron. I explain everything in as much detail as I can and the officer thanks me for my co-operation._

"_Will we still be able to leave for New York tonight?" I ask._

_The officer nods, "Yes sir, it seems pretty clear cut, the guy was unstable and it was reasonable for Mrs Booth to assume she would be next after he shot you and she did what she had to do, we will notify the DA's office but recommend that no further action is taken due to the evidence" he says. "There won't be any further repercussions from this. I'll say goodnight Mr Cross and I hope you have a safe flight" he says as he leaves the room._

_I hang around for a while longer and as soon as I am given the all clear to be discharged I head out to Raul and Maureen who are waiting for me. Raul informs me that he has called Janice and told her what has happened and that the police have also informed her as she is still his next of kin. He also tells me I need to call Denise as Maureen had called Josephine and told her what had happened._

"_Shit, is she ok?" I ask fumbling for my phone._

_Raul nods, "I think I reassured her sir, but it would be best if you call her so she can hear your voice and know that you are truly alright" he says._

_I nod and press the speed dial for Denise, she picks up almost immediately._

"_Denise it's me are you alright?" I ask._

"_Daddy? Daddy are you alright, what happened? Are you badly hurt, are you ok?" she gabbles, she is clearly frantic and I close my eyes at the sound of her worried voice._

"_Calm down Denise, I'm fine honestly, Maureen was very brave, Landon broke in – he was going to try and snatch Byron, and he lost it when he realised you weren't there. He got me but honestly its nothing I've been stitched up and I am absolutely fine, Maureen isn't facing any charges for what she did as it was self defence so everything is good and Landon is out of our lives forever" I say. I stop there is no response from her so I ask her what I need to know, "Talk to me Denise, and tell me you are alright?" I say._

"_I'm fine daddy, honestly, now I have heard your voice and I know you are really ok I feel fine, I did have a bit of a wobble but I called Dr Travis and talked it through and I am fine honestly" she says in a much calmer tone, I sag with relief._

"_Good, I'm glad" I say. I pause taking a deep breath "Look I'm going now, I've just been discharged we have sorted everything here and we are coming home" I add._

"_Ok dad, see you soon, I love you daddy" she says, and I can tell by her voice she is crying._

"_And I love you too sweetheart" I reply, my voice hoarse with emotion. I kill the call and then call Janice._

"_Janice it's me Gideon" I say as she picks up._

"_Gideon, Raul called me and told me what Ryan did and what happened, are you alright?" she asks._

"_I'm fine, and Maureen is unhurt although she is obviously shaken at what happened to her, look I'm sorry events went the way they did" I say carefully. I know I am lying through my teeth but it is the right thing to do, he was still her husband and father to her children and besides I don't want to create a new feud between the Landon's and Cross's._

"_Don't be Gideon, he went way too far, breaking into an old lady's home and threatening her with a gun and shooting people, what kind of person does something like that? No hopefully he is in a better place now, but wherever he is he won't cause any more pain and hurt to anyone" she says. _

"_How are your daughters taking the news?" I ask._

"_They are naturally shocked and upset, but they are also angry with him for what he did. He crossed a line tonight Gideon and he must have terrified that lady to make her resort to shooting him, please tell her we don't blame her for what she did" she says._

"_Thank you Janice; that means a lot" I say._

"_Hopefully we can all get on with our lives now in peace, and Bryon can know only positive things about this part of his family" she says._

"_I totally agree" I say, I end the call and turn to Raul. "Come on lets go home" I say._

_Raul informs me that there is a rather large media presence outside I sigh and rub my eyes, Maureen comes up to me and wraps her arm around my waist._

"_We could use this to our advantage" she says. I look at her questioningly, "you said you were going to release a statement to the press when we got back to New York, if you talked to them here at the hospital personally with your arm bandaged up and in a sling, it would make far more impact – don't you think?" she says._

_I consider what she is saying and I slowly nod, I glance at Raul and he nods, "she has a point sir" he says._

_I nod, "Ok let's do it" I say firmly._


	43. Chapter 43

CHAPTER 43

We arrive back in New York it is nearly 2am, it isn't a long flight only just over an hour and a half from Indiana and I am relieved when we are soon entering our apartment building. There isn't any press here. I think they believe I was staying overnight in Indiana and returning in the morning so we managed to give them the slip. I usher Maureen inside and I tell her we will take her to her new apartment in the morning, she nods and follows me into the elevator.

As the elevator rises Maureen grasps my good arm suddenly and looks up at me.

"Gideon" she says anxiously.

"What is it?" I ask.

"Promise me you won't tell Josephine the truth behind what happened tonight, ever. I can live with what I have done and I have no guilt for my part in any of it, that man deserved what he got but she won't see it like that. It will eat at her and the guilt will consume her, she is a good person and despite everything he has done she just wouldn't be able to live it so promise me what we did stays between you and me… always, she must always think it was a spur of the moment decision on my part which had unfortunate consequences" she asks.

I nod curtly, "You have my word" I say.

"Thank you Gideon" she says.

The elevator doors open and we walk into the apartment. Maureen gasps and stops dead as she looks around. I suddenly feel very uncomfortable, as I watch her reaction carefully. A door opens and Josephine stands there, I thought she may stay up until we returned. She breaks into a sprint and flings herself at me, I moan and wince as she catches my injured arm and she immediately pulls away apologising, I hold her to me and I kiss her. At this moment I want to be inside her and I know she knows this too. She eases herself away from me and turns her attention to her mother; she hugs her and asks her if she is alright, I watch as she visually checks her and satisfies herself that her mother is unharmed.

"Daddy?" I look up and see Denise holding Byron walking towards me.

I hold my good arm open to her and her eyes fall on my injured one as she walks closer.

"Oh daddy what did he do to you?" she asks.

"Hey come on sweetheart, I'm absolutely fine, it's nothing - it will soon heal, I'm fine" I say earnestly.

Denise manoeuvres Byron so she can hug me and my grandson looks up at me and smiles at me and my breath catches. This little boy will never know the truth of what I and his new great grandmother did for him but he will now be able to grow up without the shadow of Landon hanging over him.

**oooOOOooo**

_Six months later..._

"Dad, come quick!" I immediately leap up from my chair in my study and rush out to the sitting room.

Denise meets me and grabs my hand pulling me closer and points, "Look, watch him he's trying to get to his feet" she says.

Byron is seven months old now and he is crawling and has been for a while and we need eyes in the back of our heads as he is into everything. I pause and watch him a huge grin on my face as he grips the coffee table and tries to pull himself to his feet. I watch as he doggedly tries and fails then getting frustrated he starts to scream. I stride over to him and whip him up and he stops immediately as he stares at me in surprise and then realising it's me he smiles and presses his small hands to my face, his tantrum forgotten.

"What was that noise for?" I ask him and he grins again at me, drool dribbling out of his mouth and down his chin.

Denise walks over and wipes his chin.

I look around the room, in the time I have been in my study the living room has been transformed into Santa's grotto. Josephine and the girls have gone wild with the decorations. Christmas is in just under a fortnight and excitement is high, this Christmas is going to be extra special as we are getting married, I am so excited about this. I had offered Josephine the world but in the end she just wanted a simple ceremony with family. I had wracked my brains trying to come up with a way to incorporate Central Park and beaches but I just couldn't come up with anything, but my clever fiancée came up with an idea so perfect it floored me.

After talking to Ana and hearing how Christian flew her to my resort in the Caribbean and surprised her with their wedding and seeing the photographs of that time she said she'd like something that was just us. She had said we would always look back fondly on what we had with Michael and Eva but this was _our_ wedding and she wanted to create new fresh memories and have something totally different from what we had both had previously. I had agreed and said whatever she wanted was hers.

I recall that conversation, she had looked at me and smiled and said one single word, 'snow'. She had gone on to explain that she wanted a wintery Christmas wedding with snow. I had immediately offered her a hotel of mine in Europe in the Swiss Alps, but she had shaken her head at me, and asked if we could go to Aspen instead – she had loved it there when we went in the autumn for our annual hunting and fishing weekend and had said numerous times that it was the most beautiful place she had ever been to. She had gone on to say that she had already spoken to Christian and asked if we could use his place and he had immediately agreed and that was it, the ball was rolling and here we are everything is arranged and ready.

I had asked her what she wanted for her honeymoon and she said she simply wanted to stay in Aspen with all her family and she said that would be the best honeymoon ever. I realise that family means as much to Josephine as it does to me, she too has spent the majority of her life alone or with only her and her mom or her and Michael and now she has a huge family that she is a part of and she is revelling in it all. I had asked her if she wanted anything else and she asked me if I had ever skied I told her I had and she said she would like to learn as she had never done it before, that was all she wanted so who was I to deny her that? I had told her, whatever she wanted it was hers so that is our plans - a Christmas wedding filled with family and skiing.

"What happened in here?" I ask looking around.

Josephine giggles, "Is it a bit over the top?" she asks.

"Slightly" I say with a grin, she comes over and presses a kiss to my mouth.

"Don't be a Scrooge, its lovely. I have always loved Christmas" she says.

I am swept along by her enthusiasm and I love it. "But we won't be here to get the benefit of it, we will be in Aspen... getting married" I point out.

"So? We have a couple of weeks and we need decorations until we go" she protests.

I lean forward and kiss her gently, "Whatever you want, it's yours" I say.

I hand Byron over to Denise and head back to my study to finish what I was doing.

The past six months so much has happened, with the threat of Landon now gone, Denise's recovery has gone from strength to strength. We are not complacent though, her recovery is fragile and she still has odd wobbles now and again and she still has bad days, but thankfully the good days are getting more plentiful. She is an excellent mother and now with Landon no longer looming in the background she allows Janice and both girls regular access to her son. Hayley had been apologetic and distraught that her father had broken into Maureen's house, and threatened her and she had confirmed Raul's theory that she had been too scared to disobey Landon when she had betrayed Denise; he had put a lot of people through hell. They all love Byron and see him reasonably regularly and Denise is adamant that they are as much Byron's family as we are.

Denise's friendship with Nicky Kline is also evolving; I can see the signs that she is getting more and more fond of him as time goes on. She speaks to him regularly two or three times a week. His debut album has been a huge success and he has been touring to promote it. Denise has been following his progress around the country. My other daughters have been moving forward too, Olivia is doing well at school and is achieving consistently good grades. Denise is still adamant she is going to go to college to get a degree in marketing and she wants to forge her own path away from me and Cross Industries and I am perfectly fine with that. Olivia has also started to talk about her future and what she wants to do in life, she is also interested in the business route and is planning on a degree in business management but her plan is then to join me at Cross Industries with the ambition to take over from me when I retire, this makes me very happy that she wants this and I am encouraging it. Then we have Zoe, she is a free spirit, and at 10 years old not old enough to even want to consider her future and I want her to have a full childhood as my two elder daughters both grew up far too soon.

I am finishing off my work and getting ready to rejoin my family when my phone rings; I curse and pick it up.

"Cross" I snap a little irritated that I am being disturbed.

"Hey big brother" comes the cheerful voice down the line and my bad mood lifts immediately and I smile.

"Hello Ireland, what do you want?" I ask.

"I have news, I was going to leave it till everyone was together at Christmas but I don't want to steal Josephine's thunder I mean it's her wedding and she should be the centre of attention" she says.

"What's happened?" I ask.

"How do you feel about being an uncle?" she replies.

"You're pregnant?!" I ask.

"So all the rumours about you being a brainiac aren't a lie!" she says sarcastically, "yep we've known for a while but we didn't want to say anything but yes I'm going to be a mommy, its babies all round we are going to be inundated with the stampede of tiny feet next year!" she says.

"Why? Who else is expecting?" I ask, I know Christopher is single at the moment and is not in any rush to settle down.

"Mia is pregnant again" Ireland says with a giggle, "In fact we have found out we are due around the same time, it's just like back when Ana and..." she stops, "I'm sorry that was tactless" she says.

"It's fine Ireland honestly" I reply as I know she didn't mean it vindictively.

We chat a while longer and then hang up. I have barely ended the call when my phone rings again what the hell is this?!

"Cross" I say as I answer.

"Gideon, how's it going?" I smile at Christian's voice coming to me.

"Hey bro what's up?" I ask.

"Is everything ready for the wedding? I have all the arrangements here and in Aspen sorted are you ready?" he asks.

"More than ready" I say.

"Bro, can I ask you a personal question?" he says his tone of voice is odd almost excited and I immediately wonder where this is going.

"Shoot" I say.

"Are you and Josephine planning on having kids?" he asks.

I frown, wondering where this has come from. "We are discussing it" I say evasively.

"I see, well the reason I ask is I'd kind of like my kid to grow up with someone their own age not just cousins and a sibling who are grown up" he says smugly.

It takes me a moment to figure out what he is telling me, "Is Ana pregnant?" I ask thinking this is just getting surreal.

"She is" he replies, "and yes it was a complete fucking shock!" I laugh at the tone of his voice as he says this but before I can say anything he is speaking again, "as you know we have long since given up having any more kids, we looked into adoption but nothing ever came of it and we decided to be happy with what we had got, but about 3 months ago Ana started feeling ill and she went to the doctor and she gave her a pregnancy test just to rule it out, so imagine my shock when she called me and told me she was pregnant. We haven't said anything because well... we were too fucking scared to, we didn't want to jinx it, but she is now 15 weeks pregnant and so we feel it's ok to mention it now" he says.

"Well congratulations to you and Ana bro, I am so pleased for you both, you deserve it and there is no need to worry, baby Grey will have numerous cousins his or her age to play with, Mia is expecting again according to Ireland and Ireland has just informed me literally moments ago that she is expecting a baby too, and that she and Mia are due at the same time although when that is I'm not sure and don't forget Byron will be around their age too" I say.

"Really?!" he says, "I knew Mia was pregnant again but I had no idea that Ireland was as well!" he says.

"Well that just leaves me and Elliot now and we will have full set!" I say with a laugh. There is a silence and I wonder what I have said. "Are you still there?" I ask after a moment.

"Yeah, that was actually the other reason for my call, the baby... well that was the good news now for the not so good. Elliot and Kate have decided to call it a day, their marriage has been rocky at best for years… we all know what he did years ago, well it appears the idiot has done it again. Kate found out and gave him his marching orders, she said she wasn't prepared to put up with it any more. They are keeping it civil for the kid's sake but he's moved out and it looks like they will be divorcing. Kate asked me to call you and say that both she and Elliot will still be at the wedding and she has promised that they won't create an atmosphere, but she won't be staying afterwards for Christmas and the celebrations surrounding it" he says.

I sit back in my seat, "I'm shocked I thought he'd grown up and stopped all that sort of thing?" I ask.

"I know, so did everyone else. Mom and dad ripped him a new one, and Ethan won't be in the same room as he is but he knows he has fucked things up, but if I'm honest it doesn't really surprise me he was always a fucking man whore in our younger days and you know Elliot he has never grown up... not really" he says.

"I'll give him a call and see how he's doing but I have to say, it is Kate I feel sorry for in all this and the kids, what about Ava and Lucas?" I ask.

"I know, Kate has never been my favourite person in the world but she doesn't deserve this. The kids are ok as far as I'm aware, I mean they are old enough to understand and accept the situation and the fact Kate and Elliot are being mature about it and being amicable for them is helping" he says, there is a slight pause. "Anyway" he adds in a brighter tone, "What's happening, are you all flying directly to Aspen from New York or are you coming to Seattle first?" he asks.

"As far as I'm aware, we are flying directly to Aspen, and we are all meeting up there, I think Josephine and Ana have been arranging it all and I am just agreeing" I say.

I hear Christian laugh, "Who are you and what have you done with my brother, you know Gideon Cross who is as big a control freak as me?" he says.

"I am not! Nobody is as big a control freak as you are!" I retort and I hear Christian laugh loudly at that, "But I do admit I have my moments so let's just say I'm mellowing with age, that and I want Josephine to have the wedding of her dreams. I have told her the sky is the limit, but she didn't go that far, I decided to just let her do whatever she wanted, she has arranged everything she has been on the phone to Ana and between them they have got it all done, she just told me details and I just paid for it!" I say.

"I see, so you and Josephine, your girls, Byron, Maureen, Chris, Christopher, Ireland and Gareth will all be flying in together straight from New York to Aspen?" he asks.

"That's right, and I'm flying Victor in from California separately… and Denise has requested that Nicky Kline is invited as her plus one, so he will be hitching with Victor" I say.

"Oh I see" Christian says knowingly.

"Yeah that was my reaction too when she asked me" I say.

"So are things progressing there or are they still '_just_ friends'?" He asks.

I sigh, "I'm not sure, they talk very regularly and she has been following his tour progress, I just don't want her to get hurt, but he makes her happy. He has been to visit a few times, and he adores Byron and gets on well with him but I get the impression she still feels a hint of betrayal towards Josh, not as great as it would have been had Landon still been around sticking his oar in but I know she still thinks about Josh a lot – I hear her talking to Byron sometimes and telling him about his father" I say.

"Well, just be there for her. To give him credit though, he has patience and it appears he is in it for the long haul, I mean it's been what? Six months or so since he told her he had feelings for her and he is still around" he says.

"I know, I want her to be happy I really do, but she is just so young and has so much responsibility" I say.

"I know" he replies.

We chat a while longer before calling it a night, I glance at my watch and realise it is nearly 9pm. I had been hoping to have been out of here over an hour ago. I stand and stretch and leave my study and go in search of my family.

I find them in the sitting room they look up at me and smile at me as I enter.

"Did you get everything finished that you wanted to?" Josephine asks me.

I nod, "I did baby thank you" I say and I lean down and place a chaste kiss on her lips as they touch, she lifts her hand and caresses my cheek. I take a seat beside her and glance across at my daughters who are all present and doing their own thing.

"I have news" I say and everyone looks at me expectantly. "Ireland called me, it seems as though she is going to have a baby!" I say there is immediately exclamations and both Denise and Liv grab their phones and text her with their congratulations. "There's more" I add and wait until I have everyone's attention again, "Ireland also told me that Mia is pregnant again and that they are due at the same time" I say, this immediately causes another flurry of texting activity. "Wait, there's more" I say again.

"What is this dad? You sound like one of those TV salesmen!" Liv says with a giggle.

I laugh, "I suppose I do, well the best news of all… Christian called me and Ana is also expecting a baby" I watch the shock appear on everyone's faces as I say this.

"Seriously!?" Denise asks.

I nod and she immediately calls Ana. "Aunty Ana it's me Denise, dad has just told us the news, congratulations!" she says.

Liv and Josephine call out their congratulations as well and I watch as Denise talks for a few moments with her aunt. Eventually she hangs up and beams around the room.

"It's going to be so brilliant in Aspen what with the wedding and all this baby news not to mention the fact its Byron's first Christmas – it's going to be the best Christmas ever!" she says.


	44. Chapter 44

CHAPTER 44

The next fortnight passes quickly and before we know where we are we leaving New York for Aspen. As we travel across the city to the airport my excitement is palpable. I can't wait I'm like a little kid. I glance at my watch it is now 8:30am we have a 9:30am take off slot I had wanted earlier but it is Christmas Eve and this close to Christmas everyone want to fly to see relatives and even having my own plane I have to take my turn to get into the air. It's about a four hour flight but with the time difference of two hours this means it will only be about 11:30am when we touchdown in Aspen then at 4pm this afternoon I am getting married.

We arrive at the airport and to my waiting plane. We are all soon aboard and already seated and waiting are my step father Chris, sister Ireland and her husband Gareth and my brother Christopher. They all stand and greet us as we move inside.

"Gideon" Chris says and he gives me a warm hug.

"Good morning dad, how are you?" I ask as I return the hug.

"I'm very well, thank you" he says, and he greets my daughters and takes Byron from Denise who is also excited to see everyone and is waving his arms wildly. Maureen is fussing over Josephine and I smile as I watch their good natured interaction.

I spend the flight thinking about the coming day. It is Christmas Eve and in a few hours time I will no longer be a widower I will be someone's husband again. I take a few moments to think about Eva. I glance at Josephine and she also looks introspective, I walk over to her and sit down beside her and slip my hand into hers.

"Penny for them?" I whisper to her.

She looks at me and smiles and she squeezes my hand, "I was just thinking about Michael" she says which confirms exactly what I was assuming.

I smile knowingly, "Snap I was just thinking about Eva" I admit.

I feel her squeeze my hand and she leans against me, "We will always love them, we will always remember them and keep them in our hearts, but today is about us and what we have together" she says firmly.

I nod, "It is" I say.

I pause wondering if now is the best time to bring up the other thing I am thinking about, I decide to go for it "Josephine I know we have talked about having a family together, and I said that we would talk about it more once we were married, but... well I'm not getting any younger and I really would like to have a baby with you, it's not like we aren't financially stable or anything" I pause and watch her reaction carefully.

Josephine nods and smiles nervously, she leans towards me and whispers in my ear, "Well so do I… want a baby that is, and I also want to give you the world Gideon because that is what you have given to me since I have known you, and I have always longed to be a mother but please bear in mind it never happened for me and Michael… so there is a possibility I can't have children, you need to accept that possibility and if it doesn't happen well..." she says.

I grip her hand tightly, "But you want to try?" I ask and she nods at me.

"Yes Gideon I do" she says. I wrap my arms around her.

"Thank you, I love you so much" I say.

"Dad can I talk to you?" I turn to the sound of my daughter's voice.

"Denise what's wrong?" I ask.

She shakes her head, "Nothing, I need to discuss something with you that's all" she says.

"Alright" I say.

She sits down beside me, "Dad I have been thinking about my future, as you know I want to go to college and get my degree in marketing and advertising" she says.

I nod, wondering where this is going.

"I have been looking at different colleges and I've… I've been considering San Diego University. I've been talking to granddad and he said Byron and I could stay with him if I chose to go there. I have looked into things and the university has day care facilities on site which appears to be very good, but I wanted your blessing before I decided anything" she says.

This news has taken my breath away; my daughter is telling me she is planning on travelling across the country away from me and taking my grandson with her. I had assumed she would take a place at a university close to home – possibly Colombia where I went.

"Why so far?" I ask as I try and pull myself together.

"Well for starters that is where mom went" she says, she pauses "I want to do this on my own but I also like the idea of having that connection to mom" she says.

I nod, I can understand that, but I wonder if this has more to do with a certain musician who is also based in San Diego?

"Does this decision have anything to do with Nicky Kline as well?" I ask.

Denise hesitates and then slowly nods, "Yes" she says quietly.

I smile reassuringly at her. "Ok do you want to talk about it?" I ask.

He looks down at her hands and I can see she still feels a degree of guilt for having the feelings she has about Nick "We talk so regularly now and I have developed feelings for him, feelings which I can no longer ignore or deny, but I want to do this properly I want another reason to be in San Diego other than Nicky, just in case... do you understand me?" she asks.

I nod, "I do sweetheart, if this is what you want then you have my blessing and my full support, but please always remember that you will always have a home waiting for you with me back in New York" I say.

Denise flings her arms around me and hugs me tightly. "Thank you dad" she says.

I sigh and bring up something which is uncomfortable but necessary. "If you do decide to go ahead with this you will also take Paul with you and I will engage a CPO for Byron, it is common sense sweetheart, he is my grandson and because of who you are and who I am makes him a target, do you understand and accept that?" I say.

I am surprised when she nods accepting what I am saying immediately. "I get that" she says with a slightly resigned tone of voice.

"Ok then" I say.

She looks up at me apologetically, "Look, I'm sorry to have brought it up now today when you are getting married in a few hours time, but I wanted to talk to you about it _before_ we all got stuck into the wedding stuff, and everything" she says.

I shake my head, "Never apologise for wanting to talk to me Denise" I say.

**oooOOOooo**

We arrive in Seattle and I am astonished by the reception committee. I had been expecting Christian and Ana to be waiting for us but the crowd waiting at the foot of the steps is a large one and I quickly establish that _everyone_ is here, I spot Kate standing with Mia and I note Elliot is also here but they couldn't be standing further apart.

We are all engulfed with greetings of congratulations and love as we leave and before I can catch breath I am being told to say goodbye to Josephine as this is the last time I will see her until we marry in a few hours time.

I watch with amusement as Ana, Kate, Mia and Grace usher Josephine away along with my daughters, Maureen and Ireland. I am left standing with my father, Christopher and Gareth and Christian slaps me on the shoulder as Elliot and Carrick watch with huge smiles on their faces. I note that Ethan isn't here, I know they have young children who he is probably taking care of but I wonder if he has also opted to stay out of the way because of Elliot.

"Come on bro, I have our instructions. We are getting ready at the house and the ladies will join us there later for the ceremony" he says.

"Where are they getting ready?" I ask.

"At the nearby hotel, Ana has booked a couple of suites for them to use" he explains.

We arrive at the house and I am astounded by what has been done. The garden has been transformed there is a huge gazebo up which is festooned with white lights and it looks stunning there are no flowers it is cold and snowy with a fresh blanket of snow everywhere but there are ice sculptures and snow sculptures instead of flower arrangements dotted around with simple white lights draped around them, a path has been made to the gazebo through the snow and chairs are set in a circle rather than in rows for the guests who are going to witness our wedding.

"Whose idea was this?" I ask as I stare at everything.

"Josephine's" Christian says, "She asked Ana if it was possible, she had this vision of what she wanted and she described it to Ana. Ana said anything was possible and well we did the rest!" he says with a shrug.

"It looks amazing" I say staring in awe at it.

"It does doesn't it and it's very different as well - very unique. I don't think I have ever been to a wedding quite like it before" Christian says.

"A bit cold though, it's freezing out here, will everyone be warm enough?" I ask.

Christian nods, "We have numerous concealed heaters placed around where people will be sitting but obviously we don't want to put them on until they are needed" he says pointing to the concealed heaters dotted around. They have been disguised as part of the furnishings it all looks wonderful and I can't wait to do this.

"Thank you for all this" I say waving my hand around.

"No problem bro, it was our pleasure" Christian says.

We head into the house and waiting for us Victor, he stands as soon as we walk in and I embrace him warmly.

"Good to see you again" I say.

"And you son, how are you feeling?" he asks.

I nod my head, "I'm excited, I'm feeling good, I have been thinking about Eva a lot this morning" I admit.

Victor nods, "That is only to be expected, but remember she wouldn't you to live like a monk for the rest of your life she would want you to be happy and to move on ok?" he says.

I nod, "How do you feel… about me doing this?" I ask nervously.

Victor smiles at me, "I couldn't be happier for you, Josephine is a lovely lady and both of you deserve it" he says and he embraces me again, and the lingering doubt I didn't even know I had vanishes immediately.

We have a light lunch and again I can't help but notice Ethan is missing, I lean towards Christian and question his absence.

"Where is Ethan? I saw Mia at the airport but Ethan has been significant by his absence?" I whisper.

Christian nods, "I know, it's still a bit raw between certain members of the Kavanagh and Grey family at the moment and unfortunately my brothers stupidity has caused a bit of a rift. He and Kate are being adult about things but naturally Ethan feels protective towards his sister and he doesn't yet feel he can be civil to Elliot, which I get completely. So he will be attending the service with the children and doing his best to keep out of Elliot's way. He has promised Mia and Kate he won't cause a scene and spoil your day. I think it has also put a significant strain on Ethan and Mia's marriage, Mia is on team Kate as like everyone else she too thinks Elliot has been stupid but the difference is despite his stupidity he is still her brother so she is conflicted and the fact Ethan won't be in the same room as he is, is upsetting her, but it is what it is and everyone has agreed not to let their issues spoil your wedding or Christmas".

"So I take it Mia and Ethan won't be attending Christmas dinner tomorrow either?" I ask.

Christian shakes his head, "No, they are having a family day with their children but it hasn't gone unnoticed – they said they will look in at some point tomorrow just to say hello, Kate won't be there either" he says.

I nod, I hope things can work out between everyone but I am realistic enough to know that rifts like this can take time to heal.

"Anyway less of all that lets concentrate on today and getting you married" he says.

I change into my Tux and get myself ready and as I am about to leave my room I feel my phone ringing I glance at it and I stiffen when I see my mother's name. I pause debating whether or not to just send it to voicemail but I answer.

"Cross" I snap in my coldest clipped tone.

"Gideon, how are you?" I hear my mother's voice and I stiffen and close my eyes.

"What do you want; I really don't have time to speak to you now?" I ask.

"I… I just want to wish you and your family a very merry Christmas" she says.

This takes me back slightly and I wonder immediately what her angle is.

"Thank you, is that all?" I ask.

"Yes" she says I go to hang up when she speaks again, "Gideon, I know I haven't been the mother you deserved all your life and for that I am sorry, more sorry than you could ever realise. I know I don't deserve your forgiveness I have behaved appallingly towards you and your family. I just wanted to tell you that, and I do sincerely wish you every happiness," she stops and I swallow hard and rub my eyes I really don't need this.

"Thank you" I say again the silence spreads out between us, neither of us knowing what to say.

"Look I'll let you go now" she says eventually.

"Thank you" I say again and I roll my eyes I sound like a fucking parrot. "Goodbye" I add.

"Goodbye Gideon" she says and the line goes dead.

I pause, I feel churned up now, was that her plan get me worked up moments before I get married? But I dismiss that as far as I am aware she has no idea that I am even getting married today which makes her call all the more bizarre. I need to talk to someone; I don't think twice and call Josephine's cell phone praying she has it on her and that it's switched on. Moments later she answers and I sag with relief.

"Josephine?" I say anxiously.

"Gideon, what's wrong?" she asks immediately on alert.

"I'm sorry" I begin and stop and take a deep shuddering breath.

"What? What is it, have you changed your mind?" she asks.

I stare at my phone in horror; she thinks I don't want to marry her, fuck I need to make this right and quickly.

"No baby, god no, I can't wait to marry you. I just needed to hear your voice, that's why I'm apologising because I'm sorry to disturb you" I say quickly and earnestly.

I hear her sigh, "Something has happened Gideon, what's upset you?" she asks.

"My mother called me" I say before I can stop myself.

"Elizabeth?! What did she say to you, talk to me my darling and let me reassure you" she says.

"She was very reasonable, she called to wish me a Merry Christmas and then she wished me every happiness and apologised for being a shitty mother all my life, it kind of threw me and I just wanted to share" I say.

"Of course you did, well that is a good thing and don't let it upset you. Maybe she was just being nice... for once" she says.

I hear another voice in the background which I recognise as Denise and I smile as I hear Josephine tell me Denise wants to speak to me.

"Dad?" Denise says.

"Denise, are you ok?" I ask.

"I am, but at this moment I am worried about you, what did that bitch want, today of all days?" she asks.

I quickly tell her what my mother said and she listens in silence when I have finished her response is swift and decisive.

"Shake it off dad, forget it you are about to marry Josephine, my guess is she just wanted to fuck with your head, and if you carry on thinking about it you are letting her do just that, so let it go, we are all about to leave in a moment so I have to go now, concentrate on the fact you are going to see your beautiful bride in a while and believe me dad she looks fucking amazing. Think about that and what you are going to do and don't let that woman into your head" she says fiercely and it makes me smile.

"Thank you sweetheart, I am inclined to think the same but there was something different this time, the regret in her voice but you are right of course, I don't want to think about her today" I say decisively.

"Ok dad, you are sure you are ok?" Denise asks again.

"I am baby girl and thank you, now can you put me back to Josephine?" I ask.

"Sure dad, hold on" she says and I hear the phone being passed.

"Gideon?" Josephine says.

"Hi baby, now I am here and I want to marry you so hurry up and don't make me wait any longer!" I say with mock sternness, I hear her giggle and I smile.

"Well we are about to leave now and people are waiting for me – so you are holding things up so I'm going to hang up on you" she says.

"Alright, I'll see you shortly, I love you baby" I say.

"And I love you Gideon, with all my heart" she replies.

I leave my room feeling much happier and head out to the gazebo, and the first person I walk into is Nick Kline. He freezes when he sees me but quickly recovers and holds out his hand.

"Hello Mr Cross, congratulations on your wedding and thank you for allowing me to use your plane to be here" he says.

I nod and accept the handshake, I glance at my watch I don't really have time now but I want to talk to this boy and check his feelings for my daughter, fuck it I'm going to do it now.

"No problem Nick, erm I'm glad I've seen you I want to speak to you about something" I say and lead him to one side. He nods and follows me in silence.

I decide to be direct, "My daughter informed me on the flight here that she was planning on pursing her ambition of working towards her degree, she also told me that she was considering moving to San Diego to accomplish that" I pause and wait watching his reaction.

He nods, and his reaction tells me he was aware of this and what he says next confirms that, "yes sir, she has discussed those plans with me and I won't lie to you sir, I am encouraging them. I love your daughter sir and I want to take care of her and Byron, I want to make her happy, and I believe that I can. She is slowly starting to come around to the fact that I love her and I believe she is starting to see me more than just a friend, I am not going to force that and I am willing to wait as long as it takes for her to come to that realisation herself but you have my word that I won't ever do anything to hurt Denise – she means too much to me" he says.

Well he has said everything I wanted to hear, and my gut tells me he is speaking the truth so I nod.

"I have told her whatever she decides to do she has my blessing and support" I say.

Nick's face lights up and he smiles at me. "Thank you sir, that means a lot to me and I assume that it also reassured Denise too" he says.

I step closer and take his hand which he has outstretches to me again and I use it to pull him closer "Just one final thing, my daughter has been through enough heartache for several lifetimes and she is still very vulnerable. I won't see her hurt again, you hurt her in any way, any way at all and I will not hesitate I _will_ destroy you, do we understand each other?" I say coldly.

Nick looks me in the eye and he swallows hard but also nods solemnly, "Mr Cross, I have no intention of ever hurting your daughter, I know and understand what she has been through and she knows she has my full support to realise her dreams and ambitions. I love her and respect her too much to ever consider hurting her" he says.

"As long as we understand each other" I say again.

"We do sir" Nick looks up and past me and releases my hand, "I think I'd better go and take my seat" he says and nods past me. I turn and see the ladies have arrived. I watch him go and I head out and take my place and wait for Josephine to come to me.

"Where the fuck have you been?" Christian says as I take my place beside him.

"Just dealing with something important" I say evasively. I turn to my brother "Tell me you have the rings?" I ask.

Christian grins and pats his pocket. "Don't panic bro everything is under control" he says.

I wait for Josephine to come to me, I watch as Grace and Carrick walk towards us, Carrick shakes my hand and slaps my shoulder and Grace holds open her arms and folds me into a hug.

"Gideon darling" she says.

"Hi mom" I say and I press a small kiss to her cheek.

"You are going to be blown away when you see Josephine" she says.

I smile and hug Grace a little tighter; this banishes the final memory of my mother's call from my mind. Grace frowns slightly and looks carefully at me as she pulls away and goes and sits down.

The music starts to play and I watch as my three daughters make their way towards me, they look stunning they have these long scarlet velvet capes on with fur hoods covering matching dresses in scarlet velvet it is like nothing I have ever seen before but it works beautifully. I watch as Mia, Ireland and Ana make their way down with identical outfits to those worn by my daughters and then I see her… Josephine walks down the makeshift aisle on her mother's arm, I knew she had asked her mom to give her away and I didn't expect anyone else to have that job. Maureen is dressed in a simple elegant two piece suit and she looks lovely but my breath catches as I take in Josephine she looks stunning she has her hair up in an elegant style and she is wearing a silver velvet gown with matching cape with a silver fur lined hood. She is holding a simple bouquet of white roses fastened with a silver ribbon. I feel myself getting hard and I discreetly adjust myself. I see a smile cross Josephine's lips and I know she spotted what I was doing and why.

"You look beautiful" I say as she reaches me, and she leans forward and kisses my cheek.

"And so do you, and if I'm not mistaken you are quite pleased to see me as well aren't you?" she says as she whispers in my ear then with a wicked gleam in her eyes they dart downwards and I follow her gaze and see the now quite noticeable bulge in my pants.

"I can't help it" I say with grin.

I watch as Josephine blushes and I reach out I want to touch her and I brush my fingers down her face.

The ceremony is beautiful, we had agreed to write our own vows and as that part of the ceremony arrives I pull a sheet of paper out of my pocket, I watch Josephine giggle at me as I unfold it. I grasp her hand and I begin to speak.

"Josephine, you walked into my life and you changed everything. I was lost and I believed that I was destined to spend the rest of my life alone. You arrived with your selfless calm and dignified demeanour and you blew me away. I didn't stand a chance you asked for nothing from anyone which made me want to give you everything, and that is what I promise you today in front of all our family I promise you everything. Everything I am and everything I have is now also yours. I promise whatever you want, whatever you need, whatever happens I will do my best to make it happen or make it better. You deserve no less, because you taught me to love again and you have given me everything". I stop and you can hear a pin drop. I wait and I watch a single tear roll down Josephine's cheek.

"Don't cry" I whisper and I wipe the tear away with my thumb" she smiles at me.

"Wow" she says, then composing herself she grips my hand tightly and she starts to speak. I am surprised that she hasn't got anything written down.

"Gideon, I had my vows prepared", she reaches inside the cape and pulls out a folded piece of paper and shows it to me, "but you have just said everything I wanted to say, did you copy my vows?" she asks with a smile. A ripple of laughter flows through everyone.

I watch as she pushes it back inside the cape and she pauses, and I know she is going to speak from the heart instead "Gideon, when I first met you I was incredibly low I wasn't living I simply existed each day but you burst into my life and you were so kind to me. I was afraid to begin with I wondered what your motive was, why you would bother to help me, but it quickly became clear what your motive was, you are quite simply a beautiful man with a beautiful heart. You deserve the best of everything and I promise you that I will strive to make sure I do my part to the best of my ability to give you the best of everything, I don't have much but the there are two things I do have which are my heart and my love and you own both of those now and I give them freely to you. I promise you I will support you and will help you and shoulder any trials and tribulations that come our way, I will endeavour to be a good wife and I will love you faithfully for the rest of my life" she stops and there is a huge lump in my throat, she has floored me with what she has just said.

We exchange rings and the ceremony comes to an end, with the minister saying the words, "I now pronounce you husband and wife, Gideon you may kiss your bride".

I don't hesitate and I pull her into my arms and I devour her.

I pull away and we are both panting and I vaguely hear voices around us. I glance around and everyone is surging towards us offering their congratulations.

"Look!" Josephine says suddenly pointing out of the gazebo, everyone turns and we see it is snowing gently. "I wanted snow and this makes a perfect day even more wonderful" she says.

We all make our way inside and into Christian's large living room, there is a buffet set up against one wall and I stare in surprise.

"Was this your idea?" I ask her.

Josephine's face drops and she nods, "yes I wanted something simple and relaxed I didn't want a formal sit down dinner, why are you upset?" she asks.

I shake my head, "No I think it's a wonderful idea" I say.

She looks relieved and pulls me closer. "I think it worked out for the best as well, rather than a sit down meal considering what has happened recently, imagine how awkward things would have been if we had had a formal meal and erm... people who aren't getting on very well at the moment were forced to sit together". She says with a meaningful glance at Ethan and Kate.

I nod, and I take note that Elliot is one side of the room and Kate and Ethan are the other, Mia is chatting happily with Ireland and I am glad they are all making the effort to be civil.

"Gideon" I look at my wife... my wife, this wonderful woman is my wife. That thought blows me away.

"Hmmm" I say.

"Are you alright after what happened earlier?" Josephine asks.

I nod, "I am, don't talk about my mother I don't want to even consider her today" I say.

"Ok, I was just checking you are alright though" she says.

"I know and I love you for that" I say.

We all get something to eat and find a seat, this is wonderful, its relaxed and casual and so Josephine. When everyone has finished eating we do the ceremonial cutting of the cake and I watch my brother get to his feet and tap his glass. The room goes quiet and everyone turns their attention to Christian.

"If I may say a few words, first of all I think we can safely say this has been a beautiful and unique wedding, and I am honoured that Ana and I were entrusted with hosting it. There isn't anything I can say which is news about Gideon we all know what sort of man he is and I am honoured that I can call him my brother and I am so happy for him that he has found love and happiness again. Josephine you have married a wonderful man, but I think you already know that and I know I'm not the only one who wishes you both every happiness, so if you will all raise your glasses to my brother and his beautiful bride, to Gideon and Josephine!" He says.

"Gideon and Josephine" is the response.

I stand up and nod my thanks to Christian. "I just want to say thank you to Christian and Ana for realising the dream which my wife had for her wedding day and opening their home up to us. I want to thank you all for taking Josephine to your hearts and making her feel so welcome and part of what is an undoubtedly an overwhelming family. I want to thank Maureen Booth for accepting me as her son in law and giving me her blessing and entrusting her daughter to me" I hold up my glass to Maureen and she nods at me. "But the person I want to thank most is this beautiful woman next to me" I grasp Josephine's hand and pull her to her feet then I wrap my arm around her pulling her close to my side.

"Come here baby" I say, "Josephine you have made me the happiest man alive by agreeing to become my wife, we will always love other people, you will always love Michael and I will always love Eva but they would want us to be happy and I know for a damn fact you have made me incredibly happy and for that I thank you, I love you baby" I stop and kiss her once again on the lips. She looks up at me her eyes shining with tears and she squeezes me gently and then she begins to speak.

"I love you too Gideon, and thank you for making me the happiest woman in the world today" she pauses and looks around. "I would like to say that I am eternally grateful to Ana and Christian for making the rambled dream I had in my head for a winter wonderland wedding come to life. I told Ana what my dream was and she simply said we can do that, I didn't realise that it would be possible and I want to thank you both, today has exceeded my expectations by miles. It has been the best day of my life... ever, I echo Gideon's thanks to Christian and Ana for allowing us to use their home" she raises her glass to them and then searches the room. "Next I want to thank three very special people, Denise, Olivia and Zoe, you have let me into your family and made me feel welcome and wanted, you have treated me with honesty and respect and you have accepted me into your lives and that has made me happier than you could ever imagine. Finally I would like to thank you all for coming and sharing our day with us. I have married into an amazing family and you all have made me and my mother so welcome and for that I thank you all" she stops speaking and looks up at me again.

"Is that all you want to say baby?" I ask and she nods at me.

There is a round of applause and everyone resumes their chattering. I pull Josephine closer.

"I want you baby" I say, she looks up at me and I can see the heat in her eyes.

"I want you too, but we need to have a little self control for a while longer" she whispers. I glance around the room.

She is right of course, but all I can think of is getting her naked and getting inside her. My wayward thoughts are interrupted by Ana and Christian who walk up to us, a huge grin on both their faces.

"What?" I ask looking warily at them.

Christian wraps his arm around my shoulder. "Bro, this is a little delicate, I love you dearly you know that, but tonight is your wedding night and well... I remember just how loud you can be at times and I really don't want to listen to you getting your rocks off all night..."

"CHRISTIAN!" Ana exclaims and slaps his arm, "Don't be crude" she hisses.

Josephine is mortified and lowers her now scarlet face, but I have to stifle a snort of laughter as I remember the first time I made love to Josephine at Christian's place in Seattle and everyone in the house had overheard us. But Christian continues un-fazed.

"It's the truth!" he protests, "Anyway, in light of that, Ana and I have booked you into the presidential suite at the St Regis for tonight. Just tonight, you will be back here tomorrow to celebrate Christmas day" he says.

He hands me an envelope and raises his eyebrows at me. I accept it and thank him. He kisses Josephine politely on the cheek and wanders away.

I turn to Josephine, "I want to go - now" I say firmly and she looks at me and then nods.

"Alright, let's say goodbye to everyone" she says.


	45. Chapter 45

CHAPTER 45

**(DENISE)**

"Denise, Olivia, Zoe!"

I turn at the sound of my father's voice.

I am standing with my sisters and Phoebe and we are discussing the events of today. Until my father's voice rings out across the room.

"Excuse us a moment Pheebs" I say as we wander over to dad who is standing gripping Josephine's hand tightly. He hasn't let her out of his sight since he made her his wife, I take a good look at him and he looks happy, really happy. The kind of happy he was and I haven't really seen since mom was alive. I look at Josephine and she too is glowing with happiness and I couldn't be more pleased for them.

"You yelled!" I say sarcastically as we walk up to him.

A huge grin spreads across his face, "Josephine and I are going now and I just wanted to say goodbye before we went" he says.

"Going? Where are you going, I thought we were all staying here?" Liv asks immediately.

"We will be back in the morning, Uncle Christian has arranged for Josephine and I to spend our wedding night at the Regis in town, just the two of us. But I promise you we will be back first thing in the morning for Christmas day" he says.

I laugh, "Well it's probably for the best – after all we all know how loud you can get!" I say innocently.

Liv lets out a sharp laugh and then tries to disguise it as a cough but Zoe just looks confused. Dad just glares at me and shakes his head but I can see the amusement in his eyes, not to mention the smile tugging at his lips – he isn't mad at me.

I wrap my arms around him, and as I say goodbye I whisper in his ear, "it's great to see you so happy again dad" he doesn't say anything but I feel him squeeze me in response.

We all say goodbye to Josephine who is totally embarrassed as she knows what my comment was regarding.

When they have gone we return to Phoebe and resume our conversation.

"Sooo Pheeb's how do you feel about your mom and dad having a baby?" I ask brightly.

I watch as her face darkens. "I don't want to discuss it" she says sharply.

"What's wrong?" Liv asks after glancing at me in surprise.

"I said I don't want to discuss it" she says and she flounces off. I look at Liv with my eyebrows raised.

"What the fuck was that about?" Liv asks.

I shrug, "something tells me that Phoebe isn't too excited to be getting a baby brother or sister!" I say.

Liv shakes her head, "She's a selfish mare" she says bluntly.

My eyebrows rise in surprise at that comment, it could be considered more than slightly hypocritical considering the reservations Liv voiced about my dad possibly having more children with Josephine. When I point this out to her she shakes her head emphatically.

"That was different and you know it, Uncle Christian and Aunty Ana are _her_ parents, there has been no changes, dad having another baby with someone is different because… who he has the baby with… isn't our mom" she says.

I smile at her knowing what she means and I squeeze her arm reassuringly. "I'm going to go and talk to her" I say.

I glance around the room and Phoebe has totally vanished, I spot Grace holding Byron and I see she is talking to Nicky, my heart leaps as I look at him and I want to talk to him but I am torn, I feel like I need to speak to Phoebe.

"Go talk to Nicky I'll speak to Phoebe" Liv whispers in my ear I turn and grin at her.

"Thanks Liv... good luck!" I say. Liv gives me a look which says I owe her big time and leaves the room. I walk over to Nicky and Grace. As soon as I approach Byron looks up and holds up his arms to me.

"Hey there little man, are you being a good boy for grandma?" I ask as I lift him up. I turn my attention to Nicky, "Did you enjoy the wedding?" I ask.

"It was lovely, so unique. I've never been to a wedding quite like it, your dad looked really happy" Nicky says smiling at me.

"I'm glad, what are your plans?" I ask.

"I have a hotel booked and I fly home tomorrow morning" he says.

I stare at him, "You're flying home on Christmas Day?!" I ask.

He nods at me a puzzled look on his face that I am even asking this question. I stare at him and an idea comes into my head. "Just hang on one moment" I say.

I glance around the room and I see Uncle Christian and Aunty Ana they are standing together and Uncle Christian is rubbing his hand up and down Aunty Ana's arm. I smile they love each other so much. I glance at Nicky, "Just wait" I say, he nods at me and I walk towards my uncle and Aunt.

"Uncle Christian?" I say as I approach.

He looks up and smiles at me and then holds his arms open to take Byron who is now leaning towards him.

"Denise, what can I do for you?" he asks as he pulls my son from my arms.

"I need to ask a favour" I begin.

"Go on" he says.

"Can Nicky stay for Christmas here?" I ask.

"No problem" Uncle Christian says, he glances towards Nicky, "I thought that was the plan all along" he says.

I shake my head, "No, he has a hotel room booked and he was planning on flying home tomorrow, he can't do that can he? I mean, it's Christmas day!" I say.

Uncle Christian nods and we walk towards Nicky he immediately stands and looks expectantly at us.

"It has been brought to my attention that you are planning to leave and fly home tomorrow?" Uncle Christian says.

Nicky nods, "That's right sir" he says.

"Would you like to stay and celebrate Christmas with us?" Uncle Christian asks.

Nicky looks shocked, "I don't want to intrude" he says immediately.

Uncle Christian shakes his head, "Nonsense, you are more than welcome to join us" he says.

"Thank you, I'd better get my ticket changed" he says pulling out his phone.

A short while later and Nicky has altered his ticket so he is now going back to California on 26th December and he has called his father to tell him the change of plan. Brett was by all accounts fine with the change and told Nick to enjoy himself.

"Ok I'm all sorted" he says to me, "thank you for asking me to stay" he says and he touches my arm.

I shake my head, "It was my uncle who invited you to stay not me" I say with a grin.

Nicky laughs, "yes and I'm sure you had nothing whatsoever to do with it!?" he says sarcastically.

We talk a while longer and I see Liv walking towards us with a grim expression on her face.

"What's up Liv?" I ask.

She shakes her head, "God Phoebe is so self centred!" she splutters.

"Why?" I ask.

"Well... you know the issues I had with dad and Josephine having a baby together?" she says. I nod, "well imagine that but ten times more irrational" she says.

I frown and turn to Nicky, "Excuse me a moment will you" I say and he nods and waves his hand. I grab Liv's arm and we move away. "Where is she?" I ask.

"In her room" Liv answers.

I go towards Phoebe's bedroom and knock. "Come in" she calls from inside.

She frowns as she looks up at me when we walk in.

"What's up Pheebs?" I ask.

"Don't start!" she says sulkily, I immediately hold up my hands.

"Hey don't have a go at me, I just came to see if you were ok" I snap.

"Yes and I'm sure it has nothing to do with what I just said to Liv and she didn't go running to you and tell you" she sneers.

I shake my head, and my temper rises, "Do you want to know what Liv said to me... do you?" I ask. I see a small grin appear on Liv's face and Phoebe stares at me in silence.

"She said and I quote God Phoebe is so self centred, so I came to find out what led her to that conclusion and at this moment you are totally confirming what she said" I say.

Phoebe glares at me and leaps to her feet "Ha that's rich coming from you, you who had everyone running around after her when you tried to kill yourself!" she snaps. Her words knock me backwards but Liv immediately grasps my hand and defends me.

"My god Phoebe, who are you? I can't believe you could even think that let alone say it, if you knew what Dennie has been through you wouldn't even think something so horrible" she shrieks.

"Liv" I warn, if she doesn't keep her voice down we are going to have Uncle Christian here.

Liv shakes her head, "No Dennie she needs a good hard slap" she stares coldly at her cousin, "You, lady, need to be informed of the facts and right this moment I am going to tell you, we all lost our mom five years ago, but Dennie didn't get chance to grieve for mom because dad fell apart and she took on the parent role to me and Zoe, she wasn't only our sister, she became surrogate mom, confidant and best friend, she got us through what was a very awful time, and she was just 12 years old when she did that. What were you doing when you were 12 years old Phoebe, I bet it wasn't being a mom to two grieving little girls?!

She was attacked by her best friends boyfriend when she found out he had repeatedly raped her best friend - remember the bruises on her neck? That friend went on to commit suicide because of what she went through, so she had to deal with even more loss. She has been targeted by bad people who wanted dad and Uncle Christian to pay for them putting them in prison, and then she finally found happiness of her own with Josh but then that was taken away from her when Josh was killed and not only did she have to contend with more grief and loss she had to deal with being pregnant – which wasn't her fault before you say anything, she had a contraception failure and then on top of that she has had a crazy stalker threatening to take her baby away from her, and drip feeding crap in her ear for months. Did you know Josh's dad tried to publicly humiliate her at Josh's funeral? Did you know he followed her to California when we went to stay with granddad? Did you know he repeatedly called and text her threatening her and her son? Did you know he turned up in Indiana a few months ago with a gun wanting to snatch Byron and he shot our dad? Don't you fucking dare say anything about Dennie because she is the most amazing person I have ever met and I am proud to call her my sister, I am honoured that she is my sister but at this moment I am ashamed and disgusted that I am related to you!" she stops and I feel a huge lump in my throat, I had no idea Liv felt that way.

Phoebe looks shocked and just sits with her mouth hanging open staring at Liv.

"That's enough Liv" I say eventually when I gather my wits.

Liv shakes her head, "No she needed to know" she says.

"Liv please, something is obviously eating at Phoebe and you berating her isn't going to help" I plead.

Liv looks at Phoebe again and I catch an almost triumphant gleam in her eyes, as she waves her hand emphatically at me.

"See... See even now she is thinking of someone else rather than herself, she is thinking of what is up with you even after you were a complete bitch to her, well I can tell her straight away what is up with you. You are a selfish spoilt brat who has never dealt with the pain and suffering the like Dennie has dealt with over the past few years and who thinks the universe revolves around you, well newsflash Phoebe it doesn't!" she spits.

I watch as Phoebe crumbles in front of me and bursts into tears. I immediately reach out to her and hug her. "Come on Phoebe talk to me" I say gently.

"I'm sorry I had no idea" she says.

"What?" I ask.

Phoebe looks at me sheepishly, "When you did... what you did and mom and dad dropped everything and flew to New York and took grandma with them I felt... resentful, they told me I couldn't come, and that upset me and I felt pushed out, I felt cast aside. Nothing was ever really explained to me, I was just told you were ill and things had reached an impasse and you had done something silly but you were ok. Then we all came to your graduation which was impressive, I mean the fact you were the valedictorian, you graduated early and the fact you did that while dealing with being pregnant and losing Josh, but the way dad talked about you, it made me jealous. I felt he was more proud of you than he was of me. That and the fact he always didn't think twice about doing anything for your family" she stops.

I shake my head, "Phoebe they have always been like that, it works both ways, there have been numerous times in the past when dad has dropped everything to be with Uncle Christian and Aunty Ana when they have needed him. I'm sorry you were made to feel like that, you and Uncle Christian need to talk about this, and you need to tell him how you feel" I say.

She nods at me, "I had no idea of the extent of what you have been through though it's a wonder you didn't crack up completely" she says.

I stare at her, "Phoebe I _did _crack up completely".

I pull my sleeves up and show her the pink scars on my wrists and she stares at them, "Phoebe this wasn't a cry for help, when I did this it seemed at that moment in time to be the best idea in the world and the only choice I had. I _wanted_ to die, I spectacularly and monumentally cracked up, but I am getting better now. I realised that life was worth living and I have vowed never to let myself get that low again. I can talk about it now; also did you know I was terrified when you all came to my graduation? I was scared you would resent me for the fact Uncle Christian had spent so much time with us, and it appears those fears had some substance" I say.

Phoebe reaches out and hugs me tightly, "I'm so sorry, Liv is right I am selfish" she says.

"Come on Pheebs" I say gently.

"No, listen to me, you have gone out of your way to try and help me. The way you stood up to dad and told him how our relationship wasn't good, well... that was beautiful!" she says with a grin. "The way you tried to help us get a better daddy/daughter relationship, we are much closer now and that is all thanks to you, you got him to explain about his past to me and made me understand why he is the way he is and all I can do is look at the fact he wanted to help you and your family as a slight on me" she stops.

"And now your mom is pregnant, you feel like you are being pushed out again?" I ask.

Phoebe hesitates and then nods slowly. "I do" she says.

I think for a moment before I decide to tell her what I know, "Phoebe did you know your mom was pregnant before she had you?" I ask warily.

Phoebe nods, "Yes she told me that she found out she was pregnant and that she was having a little boy but she had a miscarriage quite a way into the pregnancy" she says.

I nod, "did you also know that she and Uncle Christian have endured many more miscarriages since you were born?" I ask.

Phoebe nods again, "yes I did, I know of three but I'm convinced that there were more, I know mom and dad are terrified that mom is going to lose this baby too, which is why I haven't said anything. I am pleased for them that they are going to have another baby, but I can't help but wonder what it will mean for me and yes I know that sounds selfish" she says.

"No it doesn't it sounds perfectly normal" we all turn and Uncle Christian is standing there in the doorway, we never heard him arrive. I stand up quickly and pull Phoebe to her feet.

"Talk to each other" I say firmly and I look at my sister, "Come on Liv lets leave them to it" I say and we both slip quietly from the room.

"Wow" Liv says when get outside.

I nod, "Yeah, she's not a bad person, not really" I say.

"She is still a selfish mare" Liv say firmly.

I shake my head, "Ok if you say so Liv" I say.

We head back into the huge living room, and look around, Uncle Elliot has gone and Uncle Ethan and Aunty Kate are much more relaxed now. I search the room for my son and see him being entertained by Nicky. He is on Nicky's knee and he is bouncing him up and down and Byron is squealing and laughing with delight. I stare at them, and an odd feeling squirms in my gut. I walk over and sit down beside Nicky.

"It suits you!" I say flippantly.

He turns to me his gaze serious, "good I'm glad you think so" he says.

I swallow hard understanding immediately what he is saying.

"I had a little chat with your dad today before the wedding" he says, his gaze fixed on Byron.

"Oh yes" I say immediately interested but also slightly concerned.

"Yeah, he was very reasonable, he said he had given you his blessing to move to San Diego and he also said he hoped that I wouldn't hurt you" he says.

I go cold as I hear that, "Oh god he didn't go all mafia godfather on you did he?" I ask mortified, remembering how Uncle Christian had threatened Josh previously.

Nicky laughs, "Something like that, but I totally understand and accept where he is coming from, you have been through so much and he doesn't want to see you go through any more pain, and quite frankly neither do I. I want to protect you and Byron and love you both, I know you aren't ready for that yet and that's fine I have plenty of time, I'm not going anywhere" he says.

I put my hand on his arm, "Nicky, the feelings I have for you... well... they have increased recently and I find myself daydreaming thinking of certain scenarios where we are together... as a family and I... I..." I stop.

Nicky smiles at me, "You feel guilty for thinking that way, because you feel you are betraying Josh" he says.

I nod, "That is true, but that isn't what I was going to say" I say I pause, ok this is it, I grip his arm tighter. "I think I'm falling in love with you" I say quietly.

Nicky's reaction is immediate he manoeuvres Byron slightly and wraps his arm around me and places a sweet kiss on my lips. I feel the electricity flow through me and I gasp, my hands go up into his hair and I deepen the kiss, he responds, but pulls away suddenly as Byron wriggles.

"Hey little man don't get doing that when I'm kissing your mommy or I will drop you" he says tickling Byron on the belly. Byron giggles and a cascade of drool pours out of his mouth, I reach for a tissue and wipe his mouth.

"He's teething" I explain.

"I guessed as much" Nicky says.

"Here let me take him" we look up and Liv is walking over and lifts Byron from Nicky's arms, she was obviously watching what was happening between us.

Nicky turns his attention back to me, "Right where were we?" he asks reaching for me.

"Erm... I think I was like this and you were..." I reach for him again and place my lips on his, his reaction is swift he grabs me and pulls me close and kisses me with such passion it takes my breath away.

"I love you Denise, I think I have loved you from that first moment I met you when I came to that cafe where you were talking to my dad. Why do you think I came to pick my dad up when he was at your grandfather's house the second time we met" he says, he rests his forehead against mine. "But we will take this slowly, really slowly. You are still very vulnerable, you are still grieving and you have your son to consider. I won't push you into anything you don't want to do, but know this, I love you and I want us to eventually be together as a family and I am prepared to wait as long as it takes for you to want the same thing" he says.

I nod, "I want that too" I say. "But I... I do have reservations and also I have ambition I want to go to college and I have dreams, I want a career as well as being a mother and..." I say, trailing off.

Nicky smiles and cups my face with his hand, "So do I, and together we will support each other's dreams and ambitions we will be so good together. Hey you could be my manager, when you get your marketing degree you could handle all my music marketing and PR!" he says as the sweet smile transforms into a wide grin.

I stare at him, I know he is joking and I laugh at him.

"What?" he says with a mock hurt expression".

"Nothing... Nothing at all" I say and I lean in for another kiss.

_Meanwhile at the St Regis..._

**(GIDEON)**

"Oh my god Gideon, look at this room!" I watch my wife as she looks around the presidential suite and I smile.

"Do you like it?" I ask.

"It's unreal" she says staring at the room.

I walk up to her and gripping her around the waist I pull her to me and kiss her soundly, "Well get used to it, because only the best for my wife" I say.

I feel Josephine push me away slightly and she looks at me carefully, "Gideon you know this isn't me" she says gesturing around the room.

"Hey come on baby, I'm just teasing" I say soothingly.

"I'm sorry, I'm spoiling our wedding night" she says and she takes a deep breath and pulls me close again.

I gasp as she reaches down and touches me, I am like stone and she grins at me.

"This has so much potential" she whispers to me as she strokes me. I nearly come there and then.

"God baby" I moan and I lead her into the huge palatial bedroom.

I notice as we get there she looks suddenly nervous I wonder why, we make love regularly now. Very regularly!

"What's wrong baby, you look worried?" I ask.

I watch as she bites her lip and looks up at me, "After what you asked me on the way here, I did something" she says nervously.

"What?" I ask.

"I threw away my pills" she says carefully.

I reach for her and kiss her, "Thank you baby" I say.

She holds me and she speaks again as my hands wander restlessly all over her. "It could take a while and it may not happen at all" she says.

I grin at her, "that's ok baby, we can use the time to practice" I say as I lead her to the bed.

She smiles at me and slowly we start to undress each other. I feel her shiver a little as I unzip her beautiful silver velvet dress. She didn't change out of her wedding dress before we left only discarding the cape.

"I love this dress" I whisper in her ear, "it's going to look amazing on the floor of this room" I add with a grin and Josephine giggles.

"Well we'd better make sure it's not on its own" she says as she brazenly unzips my trousers.

I feel my heart rate rising rapidly as she divests me of my tux and soon enough we are both naked, I am so aroused. Josephine runs her hands down my stomach and towards my dick my breath catches as she looks up and me and very slowly and deliberately kneels down in front of me and grasping me she takes me in her mouth. I moan and I can't stop myself I thrust into her mouth, and as she licks and draws on my throbbing dick I gently thrust forward.

"Oh god baby" I moan I am so close, "Fuck Josephine I'm going to come... now!" I gasp and I throw my head back and my back arches as I unload myself into her mouth, she doesn't pull away but continues to suck and take everything I give her.

"Oh god baby that was so good" I whisper appreciatively and she looks up with a cocky grin, I grasp her by her shoulders and haul her to her feet and carry her to the bed before she can say or do anything I am on top of her smothering her with kisses and touching her reverently. I move down her body and she starts to writhe as I tease the pleasure from her body.

I push her knees apart and bury my face into her and start to lick and suck on her. Her hips buck wildly and she moans her hands in my hair gripping and pulling at it as I continue to pleasure her. I feel her shuddering and she comes in a rush making me feel slightly smug at being able to reduce her to a quivering mess. I am rock hard again and grasping myself I gently feed myself into her and as she accepts me I sigh, then I begin to move, slowly and with a measured pace I want this to last. I suddenly remember that she is unprotected and it makes me more excited, the thought that we could be making a child tonight. I continue to thrust into her, the pace slow and steady I am not rushing anything we have all the time in the world and I want to make this perfect, for us both. I reach for her breast and I gently caress them as I continue with the pace I have set, Josephine matches me thrust for thrust and her hands grip me pulling me closer wanting every inch of me. I comply and thrust deeper she moans and I smile knowing she is coming apart under me once again. But she isn't the only one; I feel the urge to thrust harder and faster. The pleasure building and the need to climax clawing at me, I give in to it and chase my release, Josephine notices the change of pace and she picks up the momentum I know she is close to orgasm and I feel her grip me tightly that does it and I come again, I still momentarily screaming out her name before continuing to thrust and Josephine lets out a squeal as she too comes, she digs her nails into me and I close my eyes savouring the sensation.

"Oh god baby, that was so good!" I gasp as we both lie there panting she grips me and I feel her pulsing around me as her orgasm passes she is gripping me and making me aroused again, I smile and I start to move again slowly.

"You can't be ready to go again already?!" she says incredulously.

I grin and nuzzle into her neck. "Baby I could go all damn night" I whisper.

She turns her head and presses a kiss on me, "Ok then challenge accepted!" she says, and with that we both start again.

**oooOOOooo**

I open my eyes and glance at the sleeping woman next to me... my wife. My heart stutters as I think those words, words which after Eva died I thought I would never use again. I turn gently to my side and carefully brush my hand through her hair, she moans but doesn't fully awaken, she is fast asleep and I can't bring myself to awaken her yet. I need to let her rest, I smile as I remember last night, we were like animals. I spent the majority of the night inside her. I lost count of the amount of times we both orgasmed it was unreal. Josephine must be totally exhausted and I have no doubt she will be sore too, after such a sustained lengthy assault on her body when we finally called it a night she had commented that she had orgasmed more tonight than in her whole life.

I watch her sleep and I feel a sense of peace and calm, I hear her murmur something and I pause and listen, immediately I realise that she must be dreaming.

"Gideon, I love you" she whispers and my smile widens, "I'm having a baby" she murmurs a few moments later and I freeze, she must be dreaming about being pregnant and telling me. I allow myself to daydream about that scenario, I want that so much I can taste it, but I am also realistic enough to know that it didn't happen for her and Michael so there is a chance she may not be able to conceive. I continue to listen to her talking. The talking eventually dies away and I feel her stirring, she opens her eyes and gazes sleepily up into my face, I lean down and press a kiss to her lips.

"Good morning Mrs Cross" I whisper.

She immediately beams at me and reaches up and wraps her arms around my neck, "Good morning my wonderful sexy husband" she says playfully.

I feel myself harden instantly and I slide on top of her.

"So what are the plans for today?" she asks trying to distract me.

"Well, first of all I am going to make love to my beautiful wife, then we will shower, get dressed and have breakfast and then head back to my brothers house where we will celebrate Christmas day with all our family" I say.

"That sounds like a pretty full schedule" she replies.

I nudge her legs apart and settle between them, "Well then, may I suggest we don't waste any more time and make a start with item one on the agenda" I reply.

"I think that would be a wonderful idea" she replies.

**oooOOOooo**

We arrive back at Christian's place just as everyone is coming down to breakfast, we had already eaten at the hotel but we joined everyone regardless of that fact. I couldn't help but notice how close Denise and Nicky are sitting, and the fact that Nicky is the one feeding Byron. They look every inch the doting family and the way Denise looks at him unnerves me slightly. It's not that I don't want her to be happy; I just don't want her to get hurt.

Christmas day is wonderful, although I did feel it has been slightly marred by the issues Elliot and Kate are having. Elliot is here but not having Kate, Ethan and Mia and the children here left a significant and noticeable gap. I could see it has also upset Grace although nothing has been said. I mention it to Christian and he agrees that it has and he glares towards his older brother as he says it. Elliot has not been his usual self either – subdued would be an accurate description I think and I guess he too has picked up on the slight atmosphere caused by the absence of Kate, Mia and Ethan.

Nevertheless it has been an enjoyable day and as late afternoon arrives Ethan and Mia do too along with Kate as she had spent the day with them and as soon as they arrive Elliot makes himself scarce so not to create any further unpleasantness while they were in the house.

**oooOOOooo**

The next morning I watch as Nick leaves Aspen for California and it is an emotional farewell, as he and Denise said their goodbyes. I can't help but wonder had previously gone down between them.

"Hey, come on don't cry Denise, it's not goodbye – not really. I am only a phone, text or a Skype call away, you know that, you've always known that" Nicky says stoically as he comforts my sobbing daughter.

"I know that," she says with a sniff.

I watch as he gazes into her eyes and caresses her face while gently wiping away the tears that are still falling, "Look before you know it you will be moving to San Diego to go to school, and we will see each other as much as you like ok?" he says.

I watch her nod again, she is also holding Byron in her arms and he wriggles, reaching out for Nicky who smiles and takes him from Denise.

"Hey, do you want to say goodbye too little guy?" he asks as he smiles at my grandson. He turns to Denise and looks at with such love and affection it makes my breath catch. "Concentrate on Byron he needs you" he says seriously and I know immediately that he is concerned that Denise is going to go to pieces.

I watch him pause as if he is thinking about something and then certainty and determination fills his face, he gives Bryon back to Denise and then I watch him reach into his pockets searching for something and then he hands Denise a flash drive. She frowns and takes it from him.

"What's this?" she asks staring at it.

"On there is a song I am working on I wasn't going to share it with you until it was more complete it's still pretty raw and rudimentary at the moment. Just me and my guitar but listen to the words of the song... because it's about you" he says.

I watch Denise stare at it and nod before she slips it into her pocket.

I watch Nick as he puts his hands to her face and pulls her gently towards him planting a small kiss on her lips. They talk a while longer and I move away to give them some privacy, although I want to be close by for my daughter.

After Nicky has left I watch Denise disappear to her room, Olivia looks across at me and I see the fear in her eyes, she is scared. I'm fairly certain Denise wouldn't do anything but I can't help myself I head to her room just to make sure.

I pause when I reach the closed door and with my heart pounding, I knock.

"Come in" the shaky voice says from inside.

I open the door and see my daughter with her laptop on her knee plugging in the flash drive. I sit down beside her and wrap my arm around her shoulder.

"What do you have there?" I ask innocently.

"Nicky gave it to me, he said it's a song he is working on, he said it's about me, he warned me it's still work in progress though, but I wanted to listen to it" she says.

"Do you want me to leave?" I ask.

She shakes her head, "No dad, stay, I want you to hear it with me" she says.

I watch as she calls up the music file on the drive and loads it.

We both hear a gentle acoustic guitar being played and then Nicky's voice comes across. I shiver as his voice is very similar to Brett's and I am forcibly reminded of his song – Golden about Eva. I push those thoughts from my mind and sit and listen carefully.

_Girl, you are so lovely, _

_So special and so brave_

_Girl you've been through so much_

_I hate to see your pain_

_Let me give my love to you_

_Come on and let me in_

_Give my love a chance girl_

_I never will give in_

_Baby let me love you_

_I'll give you all I am_

_You mean so much to me_

_Come on girl, you know you can_

_Let me give my love to you_

_Come on and let me in_

_Give my love a chance girl_

_I never will give in_

_Girl I can't stop thinking_

_About all that we could be_

_I want to give my life to you _

_So come and be with me._

_Let me give my love to you_

_Come on and let me in_

_Give my love a chance girl_

_I never will give in_

_Girl you know I want this_

_I give my heart to you_

_I'll wait as long as it takes_

_Because I know you want this too_

_Let me give my love to you_

_Come on and let me in_

_Give my love a chance girl_

_I never will give in_

"Wow" Denise says as the song ends. Her face is damp with tears and I am left speechless.

"Indeed" I mutter.

"He really loves me doesn't he dad?" she says quietly and she rests her head on my shoulder.

"He does" I reply, acknowledging and finally accepting that fact for myself.

**oooOOOooo**

_One month later..._

I am sitting at my desk, I have just ended a totally pointless meeting which has irritated me immensely and I am in a bad mood now. I pace around my office, restless and keyed up.

I hear a knock on the door and I glance towards the glass partition, my mood improves dramatically, almost immediately as I see my wife standing there, with some papers in her hand. She has now returned to work at Denise's insistence that she is now ok and well enough to be left in the apartment with Byron. I immediately hit the button on my desk which opens the door for her to join me.

"Hi baby" I say.

She stares at me and places one of the papers on the desk in front of me.

"Is anything wrong Gideon?" she asks as she looks closely at me.

"Just irritated for wasting my time with those cretins from Norton's" I say and I smile at her. I glance at the papers.

"It's the press statement you wanted to see regarding the acquisition of Gameworld" she explains.

I quickly read through it and smile, "You wrote this didn't you?" I ask.

"I did why, is there something wrong?" she asks.

"No baby, never, I can tell your work anywhere because it is so damn good" I say. I look at her and watch her flush at my words; she still has difficulty in accepting praise from me. I hand back the papers to her.

"That's fine, it's to be released at 2.30 this afternoon" I say and she nods. I watch her hesitate and bite her lip.

"What?" I ask.

"I have another press announcement which I need to run past you, it won't be released for a while but I wanted you to just cast your eye over it and give your opinion. She hands me a second piece of paper with a shaky hand. I frown as I take it from her and quickly wonder what it's for, I don't have any further acquisitions at the stage to necessitate a press statement yet, I begin to read and the words hit me in the face and I gasp, my eyes shoot up and I stare at her, a small wary smile crosses her face and she shrugs.

"Seriously?" I ask and she nods shyly.

I read the press release once more.

_Gideon Cross and his wife Josephine are delighted to announce that they are to become parents._

"When did you find out?" I ask as I move around my desk and pull her into my arms.

"About half an hour ago, when I had my break. I had had my suspicions for about a week or so, so I bit the bullet and did a pregnancy test in the restroom" she says.

"We need to make an appointment at the hospital get it confirmed, oh my god you have made me so happy" I say as I crush her to me and devour her mouth.

As we pull apart she giggles and I can see how much this means to her as well. Then she glances to the side and goes bright red I follow her gaze and realise I forgot to frost the glass.

"Let them look, I won't apologise for loving my wife" I say firmly.

Josephine smiles still a little embarrassed.

"It must have happened on our wedding night" I say, trying to take her mind off her embarrassment.

She nods, "going on my calculations that is exactly when it happened, but considering how many times we did it that night you did shorten the odds considerably" she says.

I laugh, "Not to mention how often we have done it since then... it amuses me the way you say that you know" I say.

"What?" she asks.

"It" I say, "the way you describe what we do, the passion and love and overwhelming desire that we share - as 'it', almost as if it's embarrassing" I say.

"Sorry" she mutters and thinks a moment, "Alright then how about this, considering how many times you rocked my world that night you did considerably shorten the odds" she says.

I throw back my head and laugh loudly. "I don't care what you call it baby" I say.

"We should tell the girls" Josephine says, and I see apprehension on her face and in the tone of her voice as she says this.

I nod, "We'll tell them tonight" I say and I reach for her and I touch her face, "Hey don't worry they'll be stoked for us, trust me on this" I say. I reach down and stroke her stomach protectively, I am beyond happy about this.

I am walking on air for the rest of the day; my bad mood is totally forgotten now. I decide to text Denise as I am bursting to talk to someone, I consider calling Christian and telling him but I know I need to tell my girls first.

_**Denise are you at home?**_

Her reply is instant.

_**I am, what's up dad?**_

_**Nothing – everything is wonderful, **_

_**Ok? What's this about dad?**_

_**It's a wonderful secret!**_

I have a stupid grin on my face and I know I am making no sense at all and Denise is probably wondering what the hell is going on.

_**Whatever, look I need to go talk to you later x**_

_**Alright bye x**_

At the end of the day Josephine and I ride home together, she is anxious about this I grip her hand tightly and I notice she is trembling slightly.

"Hey come on, it will be fine they will be pleased for us" I say trying to convince her.

She nods at me but doesn't look convinced.

"Hey this is good news, this is wonderful news and this is what you have wanted for years so stop worrying and enjoy it" I say.

She thinks about that, smiles weakly and nods at me. "Ok" she says quietly.

We get inside and Denise is just walking out of the kitchen with Byron in her arms and she looks hard at me. We stop dead and I pull Josephine close and my other hand instinctively moves to her stomach.

"Dad can I talk to you a moment?" Denise asks.

I nod and follow her back into the kitchen as soon as we are inside she turns and looks at me meaningfully.

"Josephine is pregnant isn't she?" she asks.

I stare at her how the hell did she find out?

"How?" I ask.

She looks at me and raises her eyebrows, "Really dad, you need to ask? It's obvious! First of all you send me a series of texts but not saying anything at all, then you walk in with a huge soppy grin all over your face and the biggest tell tale of all was when you reached over and put your hand on Josephine's stomach when you stopped after you walked in, you did that with mom all the time when she was pregnant with Zoe and we have photos of you doing it when she was pregnant with me and Liv" she says.

I nod, "she is" I say and look nervously now at her.

She is still holding Byron but she reaches for me with her free arm and wraps it around my waist, "dad I am absolutely stoked for you both" she says, "let's go and tell Liv and Zoe" she adds.

We head out and Josephine is in the living room she looks up as we enter.

"Denise guessed" I say with a shrug, I watch Josephine and she looks nervously at Denise.

Denise hands Byron to me and walks over to Josephine and pulling her to her feet she embraces her warmly and congratulates her, telling her how excited she is at the prospect of having a baby brother or sister.

I call in Zoe and Liv and moments later they appear looking at me expectantly, Josephine joins me and I hand Byron back to Denise as I turn to my daughters and announce the news.

"Erm... Josephine and I have some news" I begin nervously.

Liv looks at me and smiles, "You are having a baby" she finishes Zoe gapes and stares at Liv and then at me and Josephine.

I nod and Zoe shrieks in delight and flings herself at us "Oh my god I'm not going to be the youngest anymore!" she squeals and I can't help but laugh, I watch Liv she was the one I was worried about but my fears were unfounded as she embraces Josephine warmly and congratulates us both.

It's all too much for Josephine and she bursts into tears and I stare at her in horror, "Baby what's wrong?" I ask.

Denise rolls her eyes at me, "Oh god dad, you can be so dense at times. She was scared stiff about telling us and the relief that we all took it well mixed with pregnancy hormones - which you have personally witnessed four times, three times with mom and once with me well... it caused this" she says waving her hands.

Josephine giggles and that increases until she is laughing almost hysterically, Denise and Liv hug her tightly.

Zoe stares at her "Why are you laughing so hard?" she asks in confusion.

Josephine holds open her arms and hugs Zoe tightly, "Because at this moment I have never been happier" she says.


	46. Chapter 46

CHAPTER 46

"I think that all went rather well?" I ask tentatively as Josephine and I sit on the large comfortable sofa in our living room.

"It did, I'm so pleased about that not to mention relieved" she replies.

She is lying in my arms and I am rhythmically stoking her stomach, I can't keep my hands off her.

"Are you happy?" I ask.

She turns and looks up at me "Of course I'm happy Gideon, being a mother is something I had always dreamed of but it never happened and now it has... why what's wrong, you are happy aren't you?" she asks. I can hear the panic in her voice and I could kick myself for making her doubt, for ruining this time.

"No baby, please don't worry I'm totally ecstatic about it and I couldn't be happier if I tried. It's just I am worried because I wanted to take things slowly with you and yet despite my best intentions everything has moved so quickly and I just wanted to make sure that you were totally happy with everything... with me" I stop this is what lays at the heart of this, the fact things have happened so quickly between us and I'm scared that something is going to go wrong and she will leave me.

"Gideon what is it? Talk to me, something is bothering you, I can tell?" she asks me, I look at her, she knows me so well, all she has to do is look at me to know when something is eating at me. I can't hide a thing from her.

"I'm worried that you are going get scared with how quickly things have moved between us and that at some point you are going to want out" I stop speaking and wait.

"Gideon that is never going to happen, I love you with all my heart" she pulls me close and I shake my head.

"I'm sorry, I'm ruining this for you with my stupid insecurity, this should be a happy time" I mutter as I pull her closer.

"No Gideon you're not ruining anything, but you are being ridiculous" she smiles at me and giggles. "I can't believe you are so insecure, you are this strong powerful all conquering CEO who can make things happen with a click of your fingers but underneath you are so unsure of yourself, but I love you Gideon and I am going nowhere!" she says.

I smile with relief and try to lighten the atmosphere, "I'm feeling the need to tell people" I say as I try and salvage the situation I have caused with a bit of levity and I reach for my phone, Josephine stares at me.

"We haven't even had our hospital appointment yet, is that wise?" she asks.

"I want to shout it from the rooftops but for now I will be satisfied with just telling my family" I say, "have you told your mother?" I ask.

Josephine shakes her head, "No not yet, but if you are calling Grace then I will" she says reaching for her phone.

"I'm calling Christian" I say.

"Oh ok" she replies and with that she places the call to Maureen. "Mom" she says after a pause.

I wait and listen to the one sided conversation.

"Hi yes I'm fine mom, I have news... yes... Gideon and I are having a baby... yes we are... no not yet... they do... yes they are thrilled for us... look its very early days yet so please mom don't say anything to anyone but I just wanted you to know... ok mom... yes I'll tell him... goodnight mom" she hangs up.

"She's happy for us, well that was an understatement and she is excited about finally getting a grandchild she says.

I grin like an idiot and place a call to my brother, he picks up quickly.

"Gideon, bro how are you?" is the enthusiastic greeting.

"Christian, I have news" I say.

"Oh?" he asks.

"We're having a baby" I say and I hear the sharp intake of breath down the line.

"You're kidding me!" he exclaims, "Fuck, wait, ANA ANA" he yells I hear Ana's voice in the background then Christian speaks again. "Gideon and Josephine are having a baby" he says. I hear Ana squeal and then there is a scuffling sound and her voice comes to me.

"Gideon, oh my god congratulations, this is wonderful!" Ana exclaims.

"Thank you, we are both surprised how quickly it happened, but we are thrilled" I say.

I chat a while longer to Ana and then she puts me back on to Christian.

"Bro, this is brilliant!" Christian says. I smile at his enthusiasm. We talk a while longer and then I end the call.

"So many babies" Josephine says with a giggle, "There is me, Ana and Mia all pregnant" she says shaking her head.

"Don't forget Ireland as well" I say.

"Oh god yes, I forgot about Ireland as well, well I think the next generation of our family is pretty much taken care of!" she says with another soft giggle.

**oooOOOooo**

The next day we go to the hospital for our first appointment, I am excited and slightly nervous about this, and we are greeted like old friends by Dr Henderson, as Josephine was more than happy to be treated by her.

"So, here we are again Mr Cross" she pauses and then congratulations us both warmly and smiles at us, then she launches in to the familiar routine, and I try and remember that this is all new to Josephine and the first time she has done any of this. I have done this three times before with Eva and again when I supported Denise through her pregnancy with Byron and so taking that into consideration I sit quietly and try not to interfere.

I watch carefully as Josephine is examined and proclaimed to be in rude health, I am pleased, she is much healthier now but I worry that the months of near starvation she endured when we first met may have had some detrimental effect on her. Before I can stop myself my thoughts come out of my mouth.

"When we first met Josephine was seriously undernourished that won't have any detrimental effect on the pregnancy will it?" I ask.

Dr Henderson looks hard at Josephine, "Did you have an eating disorder?" she asks gently.

Josephine shakes her head, "No, I tried to eat healthily but I just didn't have much money and..." she puts her head down looking embarrassed I wrap my arm around her.

"It's ok baby, you don't need to be embarrassed, but we do need to know if that time left any damage on your body" I say gently.

Dr Henderson shakes her head, "Well going on now, you are a good healthy weight, and you are in good health. I can't see any reason why there should be any complications – bone density may be a concern but we can keep an eye on that" she says. "Did your periods stop during the time you were malnourished?" she asks.

Josephine shakes her head, "No they were always normal" she says.

Dr Henderson smiles, "Then I don't think it's an issue, but thank you for bringing it to my attention, it's worth knowing this history" she says as she makes a note on the computer in front of her.

When we have finished with the examination and consultation Dr Henderson leads us to the next room for a scan, and Josephine climbs on the bed eagerly.

"Alright then this is going be an internal scan as going on your dates it will be too early to see the foetus from an external scan" Dr Henderson says. "This may be a little uncomfortable" she adds as she rolls a condom on the wand.

Josephine nods and then stares in horror at the wand in Dr Henderson's hand. Moments later she gasps as Dr Henderson pushes the wand inside her.

We both turn our eyes to fix on the screen I spot what I am looking for amongst the fuzz quite quickly and I grip her hand. "There, look baby do you see it, that dark patch with the blob in the middle?" I say pointing at the screen.

Dr Henderson turns and smiles at me, "You are quite the expert Mr Cross, well done yes that is your baby right there" she says and points it out to Josephine on the screen who stares at it in amazement.

"It just looks like a blob" she says.

Dr Henderson nods, "it will it's still very early, looking at this I would estimate about 4/5 weeks that's all – which would tally with what you said to me and the dates you gave". She says.

Josephine stares at the screen and grips my hand, "this makes it really real, I'm going to be a mommy" she says, she turns to me and tears are shining in her eyes. "Thank you Gideon" she says.

I shake my head, "No baby, thank you" I reply.

**oooOOOooo**

_Four Months Later..._

**(DENISE)**

"So you are coming to New York for Byron's first birthday at the weekend?" I ask tentatively towards the screen of my laptop where Nicky is staring back at me from California, via Skype.

"Try and keep me away sweetheart" he says smiling at me. "Is it ok if my dad comes with me, as he'd love to see Byron again?" he asks.

I nod, "That's fine, I already asked dad when we talked about it before and he's ok with it, at the moment he is ok with anything he is so damned happy" I say with a grin.

"Oh?" Nicky asks.

I nod, "Yeah as you know he and Josephine are having a baby and he is just so happy about it all, we are all waiting for them to get back from the hospital as they are finding out the baby's sex today, and he is walking on air and has been since they found out Josephine was pregnant". I say.

"How are your plans coming along for the move to California?" Nicky asks.

"Pretty much all in place, I'm staying with my grandfather and my place has been confirmed at San Diego University so I'll be moving shortly after my birthday in July. Josephine is due late September and she wants to fly out and say goodbye so if I leave it any later she won't be able to do that". I say.

"I can't wait, I am so looking forward to being able to see you in person whenever I want to rather than with a laptop" he says.

There is a knock at my door, "Hang on" I say and turn my attention to the door, "yes" I call, the door opens and Liv pokes her head in.

"Dad and Josephine are back and heading up now" she says.

"Ok, I'll be right out" I say, "I have to go, dad and Josephine are home" I say.

"No problem, I'll talk to you again tomorrow, I love you" Nicky says sincerely.

"I love you too" I reply, I press a kiss to my finger and then press my finger to my laptop screen. I close my laptop and head out, Zoe is bouncing and Liv looks excited, she has totally got over her issues now of dad and Josephine having a baby and is as invested in the whole thing as everyone else.

The elevator pings and the doors open, dad is gripping Josephine's hand tightly, he is very pale and there is a slight sheen of sweat on his face, he looks... odd, I'm confused by his demeanour.

"Dad? What's wrong?" I ask immediately worrying.

Josephine smiles widely, "Nothing is the matter, but I think your dad is in a little bit of shock" she says.

"Why?" Liv asks stepping forward.

"Twins" my dad whispers.

Liv's mouth falls open and I feel my jaw drop as well. "Shit" I say before I can stop myself.

"But this isn't the first scan you have had?" I ask as I try and pull myself together.

Josephine shakes her head, "No the other baby was hiding before but there are definitely two in there we saw them both clearly today and it also explains why I am so large so soon" she says stroking her pronounced bump with her free hand, then she releases herself from my dad's grip and pulls a picture from her purse and shows it to us, we crowd around the picture.

"Oh my god would you look at that!" I exclaim looking at the picture, where there are clearly two small figures curled around each other.

"Are they identical twins or the other sort?" I ask.

"Identical" Josephine says.

We move into the living room and sit down, and the one thing I want to know pops out my mouth.

"Did you find out the sex?" I ask.

My dad nods "Boys, two little boys" he says. He is oddly quiet and I know he is processing all this, he has not only got the son he always wanted but he has got it twice over. I walk over to him and hug him.

"Congratulations dad" I say. Liv is hugging Josephine which I think is nice and Zoe is ecstatically bouncing around overjoyed at the prospect of baby twin brothers.

**(GIDEON)**

"Are you ready to go Gideon?" my office door opens and my beautiful pregnant wife stands in the doorway.

"Hang on one second" I say as I shut down my computer. I stand and pull my jacket from the hook shrugging into it and stride towards her. My hand immediately goes towards the pronounced little bump and I stroke it. We are off to the hospital today to find out the sex of our baby, I am surprised Josephine looks quite as pregnant as she does, after all she is only about four months along, both Eva and Denise didn't show much at all until they were about 6 months along, but everyone is different. We have the last appointment of the day and I have been filled with excitement all day at the prospect of finding out whether our baby is a boy or a girl. I make no excuses for the fact I would love a son but my main concern is that the baby and Josephine are both healthy.

Raul pulls up at the hospital and we get out while he goes to park. We are soon called through and Dr Henderson goes through the usual routine. She too is quite surprised just at how pregnant Josephine looks and does measurements.

"I am a little concerned about the size of this baby, we will get a more accurate idea when we do the scan though" she says frowning.

After all the formalities are taken care of she leads us into the scan room, Josephine clambers on to the bed and waits patiently, I take the seat beside her, I can feel my heart pounding as there is a frisson of fear now after Dr Henderson voiced concern.

She places the probe on Josephine's stomach and immediately gasps.

"Well now, that explains everything" she says pointing at the screen.

I stare at the screen not quite believing what I am seeing, on the last scan only one small foetus was visible but now there are quite clearly two small figures. Dr Henderson looks at us.

"It would appear you are expecting twins" she says with a smile.

"How come we are only finding this out now?" I ask still in shock at what I am seeing.

"That can happen at times if the second baby is in a certain position it can be obscured from view when the scan is performed, but as you can clearly see you have two babies" she continues to check things out and points at the screen again. "There are two babies but only one placenta so we have identical twins here" she adds.

More measurements and checks are done and both babies have a good strong heart beat and everything appears to be in order. One of the babies' moves and Dr Henderson freezes the screen.

"Were you planning on finding out the sex of the babies today?" she asks.

I glance at Josephine and she nods, "yes, can you tell?" I ask.

Dr Henderson nods, "One of the babies has obligingly moved and given us a fantastic view and is clearly showing us that he is a little boy, so we can safely say that as there is one placenta and two babies you are expecting two little boys, congratulations!" she says.

"Boys" Josephine says.

I can't respond, I am frozen my eyes riveted to the screen, I not only have a son, I have two. I can't believe this is happening. I am beyond happy at this moment but also shocked speechless, twins. My mind goes to Seattle, Mia had twin boys with her first pregnancy I will give her a call and see if she would offer some advice to Josephine to know what to expect.

"Gideon, are you ok?" Josephine's worried voice pulls me from my thoughts.

"Sorry, I'm fine just a little surprised, what about you are you ok?" I ask nervously.

"I'm absolutely thrilled" she says.

We head home and I am still in somewhat of a dazed state. Josephine is talking about what this will mean and wondering how the girls will take this news. When the elevator doors open all three of them are waiting for us and Denise immediately looks hard at me and frowns.

"Dad? What's wrong?" she asks me.

Josephine smiles widely, "Nothing is the matter, but I think your dad is in a little bit of shock" she says.

"Why?" Liv asks stepping forward.

"Twins" I whisper, and I watch the shock register at the word.

Liv's mouth falls open and Denise stares at me. "Shit" she says, as her mouth also falls open. "But this isn't the first scan you have had?" she adds, confusion appearing on her face.

Josephine shakes her head, "No the other baby was hiding before but there are definitely two in there we saw them both clearly today, it explains why I am so large so soon" she says stroking her pronounced bump with her free hand, then she releases herself from my grip and pulls a picture from her purse and shows it to my daughter and they crowd around the picture.

"Oh my god would you look at that!" Denise exclaims looking at the picture "Are they identical twins or the other sort?" she asks.

"Identical" Josephine says.

We move into the living room and sit down, and Denise speaks again "Did you find out the sex?" she asks eagerly.

I nod at her "Boys, two little boys" I say and with that her face breaks into a huge smile and she walks towards me and hugs me tightly, I wrap my arms around her and she speaks again her voice filled with love and sincerity.

"Congratulations dad" she says. I look and see Liv is hugging Josephine which I am more than a little relieved about, one baby is one thing but two, I realise I was worried but she seems to have taken the news well. I look towards my youngest daughter and Zoe is ecstatically bouncing around overjoyed at the prospect of baby twin brothers.

"Come and sit down" Liv says to Josephine. We all move to the sofa and I remember I said I'd call family and let them know how we got on, I was just going to send a text with a copy of the scan picture but I think this news warrants a phone call instead.

"I'm going to inform the family" I say and everyone turns towards me and nods in unison.

With shaking hands I place the first call, moments later I hear my step fathers' voice.

"Dad its Gideon, we just got back from the hospital" I say.

"And?" he asks eagerly.

"Boys" I say.

There is a silence, as he registers what I said, "Boys... plural?" he asks.

"Twins, identical twin boys" I say.

"Oh my god Gideon, wow, I am so pleased for you that is wonderful news. Shit! How's Josephine, is she ok? Is she happy about it?" he asks the questions tumbling out of his mouth.

"Everything is good" I say.

"Wow, I can't believe it, twins" he says again.

My next call is to Christian; his reaction is one of unadulterated joy.

"Bro" I say as he picks up.

"Gideon tell me, boy or girl?" he demands immediately and I know he has been waiting for the news.

"Boy but that's not all there are two of them" I say.

"Twins?" he gasps, I hear Ana shriek in delight at his words.

"Identical twin boys" I say proudly.

"Well done bro!" he says, "I'll get Mia to give Josephine a call give her some pointers" he adds seriously.

"Thank you" I reply, "So when are you going to stop holding out on us and tell us what you are having?" I ask, so far my brother hasn't let on as to what Ana is expecting.

"Ana doesn't want to know" he says carefully and I immediately realise this is a touchy subject, I remember back how she had a wobble when she was expecting Phoebe around the time of the pregnancy where they lost their first baby, and she has endured further miscarriages since then.

"I see, well as long as the baby is healthy and growing well that's all that matters at this point" I say kindly.

"How's Ireland doing?" Christian asks changing the subject.

"She's good, I'm going to call her when I have finished here, they found out they were expecting a girl a few weeks ago" I say.

"Have you called mom yet?" he asks.

"No not yet" I reply, "So far only you and Chris" I say.

"I'll tell Elliot and Mia for you if you want" he offers.

"Thanks" I say. We talk a while longer then I end the call to make the next one. I call Grace next.

"Hello" she says as she picks up.

"Mom?" I say carefully.

"Gideon darling how are you?" she says the joy and love evident in her voice.

"I'm fine, how are you?" I ask.

"Very well thank you darling, what can I do for you?" she asks.

"Nothing mom, I have news. Josephine and I went for a scan today and we have some amazing news, we found out we are having identical twins and they are boys" I say.

"Oh Gideon, that's marvellous news, I am so pleased for you both, how's Josephine?" she asks.

"She's fine we are both a little shell shocked if I'm honest it was such a surprise but a good one" I say.

"Well I am so happy for you both" she says.

After I hang up from Grace I call Ireland. But I am surprised when Gareth picks up the call.

"Gareth, its Gideon, where's Ireland?" I ask.

"Asleep, she has been out shopping for the baby and I think she overdid it a little she was exhausted when she got back, I told her not to overdo it, I didn't really want her to go" he says, and I detect the hint of worry and irritation in his voice.

"I see" I say.

"Can I help?" he asks.

"Yeah, I was just calling to let her know that we went to the hospital today and we found out we are expecting twin boys" I say proudly.

"Jeez! Congratulations man, that's brilliant news. I'll tell her when she wakes up and get her to call you" he says warmly.

"Thank you" I reply.

"Do you want to talk to your brother he is here at the moment he came over and we are having a few beers?" he says.

"Oh right, yes if he's there it makes sense" I say.

I wait while I hear Gareth call Christopher.

"Gideon hi, what's up?" he asks as he takes the phone.

"Josephine and I went to the hospital today for a scan and we found out we are expecting twin boys" I say.

"Shit! That's brilliant news bro, congratulations, does dad know?" he asks.

"Yes" I reply, "I already called him" I say.

"Have you called Seattle and told Christian?" he asks.

"I have" I say.

I hear Christopher sigh, "I was talking to Christian the other day, he is desperate to find out what they are having but Ana won't have any of it. She is so scared something bad is going to happen, which I suppose is understandable under the circumstances" he says.

"I guess so" I say.

"Well, congratulations bro I am really pleased for you both, jeez all these babies, Ireland, Ana and Josephine and Mia all pregnant next year is going to be a baby fest" he says.

"Thank you Christopher" I say and I laugh at his baby fest comment, "It doesn't inspire you to settle down and become a dad then?" I tease.

"No way!" he adamantly exclaims "I'll put Gareth back on bye for now bro and I'll see you at the weekend for Byron's birthday" he adds.

"You will. Bye Christopher" I say.

I hear Gareth's voice back on the line and we talk a while longer before he too hangs up.

I push my phone into my pocket and turn towards Josephine and I see she is on the phone and I listen and realise she is calling her mom.

"Hi mom, you'll never believe what I am going to tell you" she says, I watch her as she tells her mother our news. "Gideon and I are having twins!" she says, "Yes that's right, we found out today... yes well we were shocked to start with but we are both very happy... yes he is... we are... we did, yes, boys identical twin boys... yes... they are they are all really happy for us... he is hold on" she holds out her phone to me, "mom wants to talk to you" she says.

I take the phone "hello" I say.

"Gideon, congratulations" Maureen says to me.

"Thank you, it was a surprise a very good surprise and I think I am just about over the shock now" I say.

"You have made my daughter so happy" she says.

"And she has done the same for me" I reply, wondering where this is going.

"I am proud to call you my son in law" she adds.

"Maureen what are you trying to say?" I ask.

"Nothing Gideon, I just felt I needed you to know that, that's all. I'm just a silly old woman who is overcome by your good news!" she says.

"Well thank you it means a lot" I say.

"You are more than welcome" she says. I frown as I hand the phone back to Josephine, and wonder what that was about, but I'm not about to voice my concerns as I don't want to spoil this for Josephine and I dismiss my concerns, concentrating on the wonderful news we got today instead.

**oooOOOooo**

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Byron, happy birthday to you"

The chorus of happy birthday rings around the room and I watch as my grandson sits on his mother's lap looking totally bewildered by all the fuss, he stares wide eyed at the huge cake in front of him.

We have a house full of people; everyone has flown in from Seattle with the exception of Mia and Ethan. Ethan is still having too many issues with Elliot to trust himself on the long flight with him. This saddened me as I'd hoped they would come so Josephine could have a chat with Mia in person about the pregnancy but I understood where Ethan was coming from. Ana, now obviously pregnant stands with Christian and he has his arm around her and his hand resting protectively on her bump. Phoebe is sitting with Liv and Zoe and chatting animatedly with them and Liv is taking photographs to capture the events of the day. Grace and Carrick are sitting with Chris, Victor and Maureen. I watch the easy interaction between Victor and Maureen and the rapport they have. Ireland, Gareth and Christopher are chatting with Brett. I stare at him he was once a thorn in my side, but I bear him no malice now. His son Nick is sitting at Denise's side and looks every inch the doting father to Bryon, even though he has no biological claim to him.

I realise suddenly that this is the last time all my family will be in the same room for a while. Denise will be moving out soon and travelling to the other side of the country, I stare at her I will miss her severely, she is my first born child all grown up now and with a little family of her own and making her way in the world. I feel my chest tighten as I think this and I rub it unconsciously then my eyes fall on Josephine, pregnant with my sons. I am still getting my head around that one. My attention is taken by my youngest daughter grabbing my hand.

"Dad, stop daydreaming and come and get in the photographs!" she says, I laugh and sit down as Liv appears and takes a number of photographs. I watch as Denise drops Byron on my lap and comes to sit beside me, she kisses my cheek and leans her head against my shoulder as I wrap my free arm around her.

"Can we talk privately?" she whispers to me and I immediately look down at her, "Not now obviously" she says quickly and I nod silently, wondering what she wants to say.

Liv takes a number of photos and everyone is enjoying themselves. I look up and see Ana, Josephine and Ireland all standing together glowing with their pregnancies and chatting happily.

"Liv, take a photo of them" I say pointing to the ladies in question and Liv grins and snaps a few candid shots, Ana looks up in surprise at the flash and blushes.

"Just getting a first picture of the next generation of the family all together in one place" Liv calls over and everyone laughs.

"Erm... could I say a few words?" everything goes quiet as Nicky stands up and walks over towards Denise, she suddenly looks panicked and I realise this is what she wants to talk to me about.

"Nicky, I've not said anything yet" she whispers furiously to him, he nods and smiles.

"It's ok it's not what you are thinking" he says with a wicked grin.

I see the relief on Denise's face and she immediately relaxes. Nicky grasps her hand and pulls her to her feet.

"I just want to say this, I would like to thank Mr Cross and Mrs Cross for making both me and my dad feel so welcome here today, at what is obviously a private family occasion. I have made no secret of the fact that I am in love with Denise and I would like to thank Mr Cross for not chasing me away with a shotgun after expressing those feelings and trusting that I have his daughters best interests at heart" he stops and kisses Denise gently on the cheek and she blushes and wraps her arm around him.

There is a ripple of applause and laughter at the shotgun comment. I must admit I am grudgingly impressed by this boy he has treated Denise carefully and with respect and he hasn't rushed her or pressurised her into doing anything. Brett walks up to me his hand outstretched and after I hand Byron back to Denise I stand and accept the handshake.

"He's a good boy, he won't hurt her" Brett says to me.

I nod, "I am beginning to realise that fact" I say and Brett nods.

"He's far more mature than I was at that age. I was an asshole, I was only interested in fame and fortune, but he isn't that shallow" he adds staring proudly at his son.

I wonder what the reason is behind this avid plugging of his sons character and then it hits me, Denise is moving to California and he wants to date her and maybe more and Brett is fighting his corner, so far all they have had is a long distance relationship but with Denise in the same town he is going to make his move on her, and surprisingly this thought doesn't fill me with the protective rage I assumed it would, the worst I am feeling is a slight anxiety at the prospect.

I am pulled from my musings by Denise who is calling to me.

"Dad, Dad, quick look!" she calls and I turn my head to see my daughter crouched on the floor holding out her arms and Byron being hovered over by Nicky as he takes his first unsteady solo steps towards her. As he falls into her arms there is a roar of cheers and everyone claps. Byron looks around and seeing everyone clapping he beams brightly and starts clapping his hands, then realising it must have been what he did that caused this reaction he struggles to release himself from Denise's hold, I step forward and hold out my arms to him.

"Byron, come to granddad, buddy!" I call and Denise sets him on his feet and with his arms waving as he steadies himself he walks towards me and falls into my arms. "Hey well done!" I say and he flings his arms around my neck once again the applause and cheers ring around the room. He repeats this several more times, eager to show off his new found skill, that is until he gets bored and drops to his knees and crawls away with alarming speed. I watch as Christian scoops him up and he squeals with delight as he tickles him and blows raspberries on his tummy.

"Dad can we talk now" Denise whispers to me. I turn to face her and nod, we move out of the living room and into the kitchen, I am surprised when not only Nicky but Brett also follows us.

"What's going on?" I ask.

"Dad, I need you to say calm and remember that Nicky loves me and I love him" she says, panic consumes me and I wonder what the hell she is going to say. But to my surprise it is Nick who opens his mouth to speak.

"Mr Cross, as you know I love you daughter with all my heart, and I would like your permission and blessing to marry her... please" he says nervously.

I stare at him not quite believing what I am hearing, Denise grasps my hand.

"Not now obviously" she adds quickly as she watches my reaction.

I am unable to say anything and Denise quickly outlines the plans she and Nicky appear to have made.

"I am moving to California shortly, and I am planning on going to college and getting my degree none of that has changed. Nicky has said he would like me to marry him eventually but for now we would be engaged, that's all and then the plan is we marry after I have finished college in three years time. He is so supportive of my dreams and ambitions and at the same time he wants to take care of me and Byron" she says.

I am trying to process this and I am still unable to speak, the silence spreads out for a few moments and I understand now the earnest character reference Brett gave me earlier about his son.

"Is this what you want?" I ask eventually.

Denise nods enthusiastically, "It is dad, if the past few years have taught me anything at all it's that life is too short and when you find something that makes you really happy you should grab it with both hands… I love him dad, and not only that he is my best friend" she says.

"Alright, if it is what you truly want then you have my blessing and my permission" I say calmly I am quite surprised exactly how calmly my words sounded when inside I am far from it.

Nick beams at me and offers me his hand, "Thank you so much sir, you won't regret your decision. I swear to you that Denise and Byron will always come first and I will spend my life making her happy" he says sincerely. I look him in the eye as he says this and I believe him, as I take his hand I pull him into an embrace and wrap my arm around his shoulder.

"Just remember what I said at the wedding" I murmur in his ear and he nods solemnly at me.

"I won't forget it" he says.

I turn to Brett and after a slight hesitation I hold my hand out to him; he accepts it and smiles at me.

"You have my word that I will look out for your girl too, when she moves to California" he says and I mutter a word of thanks.

"Shall we return to the party" I say and we all move back into the living room. As we do so Nick pulls Denise into the middle of the floor.

"If I could just have everyone's attention" he says.

The room goes silent and all attention is on Nick.

I watch as he fumbles in his jeans pocket and produces a small black box, he grabs Denise's hand and sinks to one knee. The sharp breaths, exclamations and gasps fill the room and I stare at him. I see Christian's head whip up and his eyes meet mine he looks at me questioningly and I nod at him. I return my attention to Nick and Denise.

"Denise, you know how I feel about you, you know I would do anything for you and Byron, I know this probably isn't very romantic or well thought out and you deserve better but it's me asking you in front of all your family here if you will do me the biggest honour in my life, will you marry me Denise?" he asks.

The gasps of shock of a moment ago have gone now and an eerie silence has descended almost as if everyone is holding their breath.

I watch Denise grin and nod, "Yes Nicky I will marry you" she says.

I watch as he pushes the ring on her finger and standing he pulls her into his arms. Almost immediately everyone closes in offering their congratulations, but it's Byron who steals the show once again, he is being held by Grace and he suddenly lurches forwards leaning out towards Nick.

"Dada" he says and everyone gasps again.

Nick grabs him, pulling him into his arms "You want me to be your daddy do you buddy?" he says nervously and glances at Denise for direction, I know he doesn't want to look as though he is taking Josh's place.

Denise smiles and wraps her arm around Bryon, "It's ok Nicky, he will be told about Josh and know that his daddy loved him and gave his life to protect him before he was born, but he needs a father figure to look up to and guide him through his life and it seems he has chosen you for that so if you want the job its yours" she pause and looks around the room and gestures at everyone. "Look around you, this whole family is made up of people with no biological ties or just tenuous links, family are people who love you and who have your back, not just people who donated their DNA to you, my dad will agree with that won't you dad?" she says looking at me.

I look towards Chris and then Grace and smile.

"Yes Denise I would agree with that" I say.

"So would I" Christian interjects, he moves forward and holds out his hand to Nick. "Welcome to the family, but..." he says but Denise steps in quickly and stops him, she grabs his arm and reaching up slaps her hand over his mouth.

"No, don't you dare Uncle Christian. Nicky has already had the mafia godfather chat with dad, you don't need to do this, he knows exactly what will happen if he ever hurts me but he won't, so stop right now and just leave it at welcome to the family" she glares at Christian and everyone bursts out laughing at her fierce expression. I see my brother's face break into a huge smile as he pulls away from her.

"Good point well made as always Denise" he says and he leans down and presses a swift kiss to her cheek.

I watch as everyone congratulates Nick and Grace embraces him warmly and offers her heartfelt congratulations.

A while later, everyone has left and I hear Nick and Denise talking, "You are really going to have to explain your family tree" he says to her, "It's all so confusing it's a huge family but nobody seems to be related to each other" he says.

I hear Denise laugh, "Yes it does seem like that doesn't it" she says.

"Ok I'll go through it, we will start with me so there is me, Liv and Zoe we are dad's biological kids our mom was dad's first wife Eva – who your dad knew and who died, he has now married Josephine and they are expecting babies ok?" she says.

"Yes I get that much" Nick says.

"Right, well granddad Chris is dad's step dad not his biological dad. He married dad's mom and they went on to have Uncle Christopher and Aunty Ireland together, so they are dad's half brother and sister, but that is just semantics they are dads siblings. Now dad's biological dad was a guy called Joel Cross who was the brother of Geoffrey Cross who was married to Gideon's mom before Chris" there is a short pause and Nick's eyebrows raise before Denise continues.

"Yeah I know, he wasn't a nice man sleeping with his brother's wife but there we go, well he also slept with Uncle Christian's biological mom but left her high and dry when she found out she was pregnant with Uncle Christian, so Uncle Christian and dad are half brothers through Joel Cross, are you following me?" there is a pause, Nick nods in understanding then she continues.

"Uncle Christian then was adopted by Grace and Carrick Grey when his biological mom died, and they also adopted Uncle Elliot and Aunty Mia, and after Uncle Christian and dad found out they were brothers Grace kind of adopted dad too, he said from the moment he and Uncle Christian discovered they were brothers he became an honorary Grey and he has always looked upon Grace as his mom as she has been more of a mom to him than his own is, which is why Liv, Zoe and I call her grandma. Uncle Christian married Aunty Ana, and she was raised by her step dad Ray who isn't here today and a few years ago, when dad and uncle Christian found out they were brothers, Uncle Christian tracked down Denise McIntyre who was his biological mom's sister, and after a while she hooked up with Ray and married him. I am named after Denise as she delivered me when I was born and she saved my life. Are you still with me?" there is another pause.

"What about Victor?" Nick asks, "Where does he come into all this?" he asks.

"Granddad Victor is my mom's dad" Denise says quietly.

"I see and Maureen erm... she is Josephine's mom?" Nick asks.

"That's right, she is" Denise confirms.

"Why didn't Josh's family come to the party today?" Nick asks carefully.

I hear Denise sigh, "We invited Janice and Josh's sisters but they appear to have distanced themselves from us. They were desperate to be involved with Byron when he was born so much so I gave them numerous chances after they betrayed me to Landon and his craziness, but after Maureen shot Landon and killed him things changed. They don't blame her for what happened they accepted it was in self defence and that what he did wrong. I mean breaking into her house, attacking and shooting dad and terrorising an elderly lady and threatening her with a gun it's all just so wrong on so many levels and she just reacted to it in self defence. She never meant to kill him and everyone accepts that, and thank god for that law in Indiana which protected her against prosecution for it, but I think there is a lingering bitterness there despite everything he did and the trouble he caused, which I can accept. I mean he was Hayley and Jodie's dad despite the fact he was a complete asshole, so they just seem to stay away now. We invite them and try and include them but they just seem to always decline. I will keep the door open for them, and I will tell Byron about that side of his family but I'm not going to force them to be involved".

I am still listening from outside the door and I sigh. I know the reason why Janice, and the girls are absent, Janice has comprehensively moved on she has met someone else and suddenly her grandson doesn't appear to be so important to her anymore, but I'm not about to tell Denise that fact.

She and the girls have removed the Landon name from their lives and cut all ties with their old life and unfortunately Byron and Denise are a part of that old life. I always knew Janice was shallow but her actions have surprised and shocked me that she could be so indifferent to her grandson now, especially after the fuss she put up after he was born. Hayley I can understand as she still feels guilt for her part in everything when she allowed her father to manipulate her but for me the biggest surprise is Jodie. I do wonder why she too has distanced herself from her nephew.

I make myself known and walk into the room, Denise looks up and smiles.

"Where's Byron?" I ask looking around.

"In bed, he crashed. It's been a long day for him" she says.

I sit down on the sofa and Nick looks at me, "I guess I'd best be going, dad and I are flying home tomorrow" he says.

"Why don't you stay here tonight?" I ask surprising myself when the words come out of my mouth. Both Nick and Denise stare at me in shock, they weren't expecting that either.

I shrug "You are engaged after all" I say trying to sound nonchalant. I watch as Denise blushes furiously and Nick shuffles in his seat.

"Thank you Mr Cross that is very kind and erm... open minded of you" he says with a slight smile, he glances at Denise and I can tell he is willing her to agree to this. "What do you think Denise?" he asks.

I watch her nod enthusiastically and grip his hand "I'd love for you to stay" she says.

Nick stands, "I'll call my dad, and I'll need to head back to the hotel for my things, unless I can persuade my old man to bring them to me" he says, and with that he pulls his phone from his pocket and walks out of the room.

I move to sit beside Denise, "Thank you dad that was really nice of you, I know you are struggling with this" she says.

"I just want you to be happy sweetheart" I say as I wrap my arm around her pulling her close to my side.

"You know we haven't..." she stops and blushes again.

I nod "I guessed that much, it's kind of hard to have a sexual relationship when the people involved are on opposite sides of the country" I say.

She giggles and rests her head against me, "Dad how do you really feel about all this?" she asks.

"What you moving away?" I ask.

"All of it" she says.

I sigh and examine that question, how do I feel about it? "Denise, all I have ever wanted is for you to be safe and happy, you have decided that your happiness will be in San Diego, that is a wrench for me obviously, especially after everything that we have been through as a family as you will always be my little girl no matter how old you are, but I can reconcile that with the fact you will have adequate security with you, you will have your grandfather and you will have Nick, I will only ever be a phone call away and you know that if you need me I will come to you" I say.

"Do I want you to go? If I am truthful no, I would sooner you stayed here in New York with me, but I can't ask that of you, I understand your reasons for moving to California, and pursuing the path you are doing, I also know it has a lot to do with your mom as well as Nick, but whatever your reasons, I will support your decisions and give you my blessing because as your dad I want you above all else to be happy. I have tried to guide you through your life… I fucked up for a while after your mom died and failed you as a dad, and I will never forgive myself for those lost years where I left you to raise your sisters at an age where you should have been leaning on me, and I hope that one day you will forgive me for that" I say.

Denise takes a sharp breath in and turns towards me, "Dad look at me, no I don't forgive you, because there is nothing to forgive, please don't beat yourself up for the rest of your life over those three years where you were hurting and grieving, just don't. Hell if we are talking about apologies I have a damn sight more to apologise for with the shit I've put you through the past year or so" she says remorsefully.

I shake my head, "But don't you understand Denise you wouldn't have gotten so low and desperate if I had been there for you after your mom died. I'm not saying it would have prevented the suicide attempt, as that was down to Landon and his antics but you struggled to cope because you were already low because I failed to support you and help you with your grief when your mom died and I have to live with that fact" I say.

"You are talking fucking crap dad" she pauses and smiles, "Let's just agree to differ on this one as I really don't want to get into an argument with you about it, it's not worth it, we have the best relationship ever... shit you'd have reason to complain if we were like Uncle Christian and Phoebe" she says with snort of laughter.

"Ok truce, we agree to differ" I say. We sit in silence for a few moments until Denise speaks suddenly.

"Speaking of Uncle Christian... he offered me a job" she says "Not now, when I have got my degree and have finished college, he said to come and see him" she says.

"Oh?" I say.

She reaches for my hand and squeezes, "Yeah, I thanked him but I turned him down. I explained I wanted to forge my own path away from the orbit of the family, and by the time I come to do that I will be doing it with the name Kline. Not that I am ashamed of the name Cross, I could never be ashamed to be your daughter, but I want to make my own way in life and not use the family connections with Cross Industries and Grey Enterprise Holdings. Do you understand what I mean?" she asks carefully.

"Totally, more than you will ever understand, after what Geoffrey Cross did I fought against enormous prejudice. The name Cross was like an albatross around my neck for years, but I dragged the name from infamy back to one which commanded respect, it wasn't easy but I did it. So I can understand how my name can cast a long shadow especially with how it is linked with the Grey's as well now and I truly admire how you don't want to stand in that shadow. I accept that and I applaud you for it" I say.

"Thanks daddy" Denise says and I feel her arm snake around my waist. "Daddy" she says again after another moment's silence.

"Hmm" I say.

"Do you remember what I said to you when I first started seeing Josh I think it was or sometime around that time?" she says.

"What?" I ask.

"I said you would always be the number one man in my life" she says quietly, I stiffen slightly. "Well, I think we both know that you have lost that top spot to Byron, but there isn't another man in my life who will ever make you drop further down the list, apart from my son and any other kids I may have in the future, you are the most important man in my life and always will be... I love you daddy" she says.

I swallow hard, and blink furiously, "I love you too sweetheart" I mutter hoarsely and press a kiss to her head.


	47. Chapter 47

CHAPTER 47

Brett drops off Nick's things and arranges to meet him in the morning for the flight back to California. I watch as Denise and Nick disappear into Denise's room and close the door.

I hear the lock turn and I move away, I know what they are going to be doing and I realise that I really don't have a problem with it as long as they are safe and sensible. I am surprised at my liberal and open minded attitude, but I can't accuse them of rushing into anything and it is obvious that they have deep feelings for each other.

I go in search of my wife and find her fast asleep in bed, I brush my hand gently through her hair and she moans but doesn't stir. Everything in my life is changing, my eldest child is spreading her wings and embarking on making her own way in the world and will soon be leaving me, but on the other hand later on in the year we will be welcoming two more little Cross's to the family. I realise it is time to start looking for a new place to live, with twin boys on the way, Liv and Zoe still living at home and the fact I want to keep a room available for both Denise and Byron there just isn't the room here anymore.

I look around the penthouse, when I first bought this place I was a solitary bachelor, never dreaming I could share my life with anyone, but all that changed the day I walked into Ana Steele outside the Crossfire, she had a profound effect on me making me realise I _could _love someone, but she inevitably ended up with Christian that fact was never in doubt, it was obvious she loved him even though at that point in time she had left him, but meeting her gave me so much it gave me true friends. For the first time in my life I had close friends who I knew wanted me for me not for what they could get out of being associated with me, and that lead on to me discovering I didn't have a best friend at all but another brother and then a whole new family took me to their hearts because of that fact and for the first time in my life I experienced sincere maternal love from Grace. But the thing Ana did which I will always be thankful for - she changed me and made me open to the possibility that I _could_ love someone and be loved back, and in doing so she made it easy for Eva to bewitch me. Eva... my darling Eva what can I say she changed everything; she made me a better man. She made me into the man I am now, a family man – husband and father something which I never expected in a million years. She gave me a life to be proud of. It was a life which I thought had come to an end when she died, only to be surprised again when Josephine walked into it and gave me a second chance at happiness.

I stop my musings and walk into my study as I do so my phone rings, I see it is Maureen and I quickly answer.

"Maureen" I say brightly.

"Gideon, is Josephine there?" she asks.

"No, she is asleep at the moment do you want me to wake her?" I ask.

"No, that's good. Erm would it be possible if I came back over, I need to talk to you about something?" she says.

My heart drops is she sick again? "Of course you can" I say. We talk a few moments longer and then I hang up and wait for her arrival.

It doesn't take long, the ping of the elevator alerts me to her arrival and as the doors open I am surprised that she is accompanied by Victor. He smiles at me and holds out his hand.

"What's going on?" I ask, I am totally confused. We move into the living room and sit down.

Maureen looks at me, she looks guilty, and I wonder what is happening and wait for her to speak.

"Gideon, I am profoundly grateful for everything that you have done for me and I feel awful for doing this after you spent money bringing me here to New York and setting up a home for me, but ..." she pauses and reaches for Victors hand.

"You above anyone will understand that you can't help who you fall in love with" I stare at her and then at Victor, and the penny drops, how could I have been so blind? It all suddenly becomes clear.

"So, you and Victor?" I say stupidly, pointing at each of them in turn.

They both nod at me, "After we first met we have been communicating regularly and things have developed between us, to a point where I feel it is time to make the leap of faith. Victor has asked me to marry him and at our time of life you take every chance of happiness you can get, but that leaves me with a problem" Maureen pauses and looks at me.

"Josephine" I whisper.

Maureen nods, "I don't want her to feel I am abandoning her, she has taken care of me all these years, sacrificing herself for me I don't want her to feel I am throwing that back in her face, by taking off to California especially now she is pregnant. Which is why I need your help to break it to her, I don't want to upset her" she pauses and I can see the quandary that she is in, I nod.

"Alright, don't worry it will work out" I say with more confidence than I feel, I worry that this will upset Josephine; she is so close to her mother.

I hear movement and the door opens and Josephine walks in she stops dead as she sees her mother and Victor and she smiles.

"Oh!" she says before turning to me, "Gideon you should have woken me" she says.

"Baby, come and sit down your mother has some news" I say.

Josephine sits down beside me and looks at her mother questioningly.

"Josie darling, how would you feel if I moved away from New York?" she asks gently.

I watch Josephine's reaction, and she simply smiles and nods, "You want to go back to Lafayette?" she asks.

Maureen pauses and then shakes her head slowly, "No, things have developed between myself and Victor and he has asked me to move to California to be with him… he has asked me to marry him, how do you feel about that?" she asks nervously.

I grip Josephine's hand as she processes this news, but I should have realised my selfless wife would only be happy for her mother and only interested in _her_ happiness and wellbeing.

A stunning smile full of joy fills her face "Mom, you deserve to be happy, oh my god I have been so blind! It's so obvious now that I know, mom I'm so happy for you" she says and stands embracing her mother warmly, she turns to Victor and embraces him.

"You'd better take good care of my mom" she says in a mock stern voice which makes me chuckle quietly.

Victor grins at her, "You have my word" he says.

Josephine grins, "well if you don't I will set my husband on you!" she says with a grin.

Victor lets out a sharp barking laugh at that comment, and at this moment I realise everything is going to be alright.

Maureen turns to me, "Gideon, there is another thing to consider, how will Denise feel about this, as she is planning on moving to California to stay with Victor while she is at college there, I don't want her to feel uncomfortable with me there as well. I was looking at the positives, I could help her take care of Byron to save her putting him in day care, how do you think she will take this news?" she pauses.

"Well there is only way to find out" I say, I suddenly hope that I won't be disturbing anything intimate as I stand and go and knock on Denise's door.

"Yes" she calls from inside.

"Denise sweetheart, can you come out a moment we need to talk" I say.

"Sure dad, hang on" she says.

**(DENISE)**

"Well I wasn't expecting that!" Nicky says as he drops his bag on the floor of my room. I turn and lock the door so we won't be disturbed.

"No neither was I if I am honest" I say.

Nicky rounds the bed and takes me into his arms, "Now you have me here locked in your room what are you going to do with me?" he asks with a grin.

I smile, but suddenly feel oddly nervous, Nicky picks up on my mood and holds me close.

"Hey don't panic, we don't have to do anything at all" he says.

"No I really want to, but I'm scared" I admit.

Nicky pulls me down on to the bed, "What are you scared about?" he asks.

"I've only ever been with one other boy and that was Josh and well..." I stop.

"Denise, we don't have to do anything" Nicky reiterates to me.

I lean over and kiss him, "I want to" I say, "I just feel funny about it" I add.

"Like you are betraying Josh" Nicky says.

I shake my head, "No actually, more the fact I am so inexperienced. I've only ever been with Josh… I don't want to disappoint you" I say.

Nicky laughs and lifts my head by tilting my chin upwards gently with his finger. "Denise do you know how many other girls I have slept with?" he asks.

I shake my head, and he holds up one finger, "One" he says. I stare at him in surprise, "Her name was Shona she was my first and only... until she died" he stops and I gasp, the vague memory of him telling me about the friend who committed suicide enters my mind and suddenly everything falls into place.

"She is the 'friend' who committed suicide?! That is why you understand me so well" I murmur.

Nicky nods, "yes" he says.

I lean over and kiss him, he snakes his hand around the back of my neck and pulls me closer, and I moan and grip him tightly as the kiss deepens.

He pulls away suddenly, "contraception" he mutters, and I point to the pills on the cabinet which I still take for my periods.

"You haven't had any sickness bugs or anything recently have you? The reason I ask is because I don't have any condoms" he says with a grin, I let out a small snort and I shake my head.

"No totally healthy" I say.

"Are you sure about this, you really want to do this?" he asks me.

I nod, "I want this more than anything, and after all you are my fiancé!" I say.

Nicky grins and pulls me close, he lifts my t shirt and then pulls his own off, I gasp at his muscular body, he has a tattoo on his upper arm and I run my finger over it.

I reach for his jeans and with shaking fingers I unfasten them, he unfastens mine and we both slowly undress each other. My breathing is getting more and more laboured and I take in my first sight of him, he is aroused and he is big, very big. I brazenly reach down and touch him, he gasps and I watch him throw his head back.

"God your touch, it's everything I have dreamed of" he moans.

I grow bolder and stroke him rhythmically he thrusts his hips pushing his dick into my hand. We climb on to the bed, and he lies down beside me. He reaches for my breast and gently caresses it. I shiver at his touch and then his mouth is on me, he manoeuvres himself so he is on top of me and gently eases my legs apart and settles between them. I feel him pushing against me and I want him so badly, he peppers my skin with tiny sweet kisses and slowly works his way down my body. I open my legs wider and I feel him run his hands down my body and between my legs. I shiver as his fingers gently probe me and stroke me. I moan as he pushes one finger inside me he gasps as he does so.

"Shit Denise you are so ready for me" he moans and any shred of restraint he had vanishes with that realisation. I feel him remove his fingers and he reaches down grasping himself and he positions himself and then pauses looking at me.

"You want this?" he asks hoarsely and I nod.

"More than anything" I say and he nods and with one swift movement he is inside me, my mouth drops open and I feel my body accept him.

"Oh god" I moan and he pauses.

"Are you ok?" he asks as he stills inside me.

"Oh god yes, I want you so much" I say and I try and pull him closer.

With that, he starts to move. It's been so long since I had this sort of intimate contact with anyone. I am meeting him thrust for thrust, urging him deeper and he moves suddenly grasping my leg and pulling it around his waist so he goes even deeper.

"Fuck Denise this is so good" he moans and he picks up speed. I continue to move with him, I have no idea how long we continue like this all I know is I don't want it to end he is hitting that bundle of nerves deep inside me and the sensation is unreal. I moan and I feel myself building Nicky feels it too and there is suddenly an urgency with his thrusts, he wants us to climax together and he starts to chase his own release.

"Fuck Denise I am going to come so hard" he gasps. "I have dreamed about this moment since I first met you, oh god baby you are so good, this is so right so good, that's it baby squeeze me" I oblige him and tighten around him.

I come with a shudder and a moan "Oh god Nicky" I breathe as my orgasm consumes me, a second later and he reaches his own release, he stiffens and closes his eyes throwing his head back again.

"Fuck Denise, take it take it all" he pants and I feel him violently erupting inside me.

"Wow, that was... wow" I stammer as we lie there panting and coming down from our orgasms.

We are disturbed by a knock on the door.

"Yes" I call, Nicky freezes as he hears my father's voice.

"Denise sweetheart, can you come out a moment we need to talk" he says.

"Sure dad, hang on" I reply and I glance at Nicky wondering what the matter is.

We quickly clean ourselves up and I get dressed, I glance at my T shirt and make sure that it isn't inside out before I go to head out to find out what the matter is.

"I'll wait here" Nicky says as he pulls on his jeans, I nod and unlocking my door I go in search of my father.

I am surprised to see Maureen and Victor are here as I walk into the living room, I smile and they all look at me and smile widely at me.

"Hi guy's what's going on?" I ask as I sit down next to my father.

My grandfather leans forward and begins to speak.

"Denise honey, there is something we need to talk to you about" he pauses, and then grasps Maureen's hand. I watch him, hello, what's going on here...are they? My thoughts are interrupted by my grandfather who continues to speak.

"I have asked Maureen to marry me, and she is moving to California to live with me" he states.

My mouth drops open and I quickly congratulate them and tell them both how pleased I am for them, and then a thought occurs to me, they are not going to want me cramping their style.

"So are you telling me that you don't want me to stay with you?" I ask.

My grandfather shakes his head and Maureen exclaims in surprise.

"No Denise not at all" she says. "Denise, we were worried about how you would feel about this, to be suddenly confronted with someone else living with your grandfather" she stops and waits.

"I'm not bothered I'm happy that you two have found each other" I say.

I see the relief on their faces; Maureen clasps her hands together and smiles widely at me. "Oh this is going to be wonderful, I will be able to help you take care of Byron while your grandfather is at work, and it will save you having to put him in day care" she says.

I stare at her, I hadn't considered that possibility and I nod in agreement.

My father leans forward and speaks, "So everyone is alright with this then?" he asks.

I glance around; everyone is smiling and looks happy. "I think that one is a given dad!" I say.

I stand up, I am eager to get back to Nicky but don't want to appear rude. "Look if you'll excuse me I am with someone at the moment so if that's all I need to get back" I say.

My father nods, "Sure, sweetheart" he says and I quickly return to my room where Nicky is waiting.

I quickly outline what has happened and he smiles, "Wow, that's a twist your dad's father in law and mother in law getting together. Kind of sweet don't you think – the link between his first wife and second wife coming together and making a new family unit" he says.

"I never really thought about it like that" I say.

**(GIDEON)**

Maureen and Victor have both left and I am sitting with Josephine in our living room, it's late and everyone else is in bed. I run my hand over her swollen stomach and I feel movement from inside.

"My son's are active tonight" I whisper.

Josephine nods, "they have been active all day and I swear they are wearing boots!" she says with a grin.

"Are you in pain?" I ask anxiously.

She shakes her head, "no it's just a bit uncomfortable at times that's all" she says. "Mia warned me that as space decreases for them so will the movement but when they do move I will feel it more" she says.

"You have spoken to Mia?" I ask.

Josephine nods, "yes she called me to apologise for not coming to Byron's party. She was, by all accounts a little pissed at Ethan's attitude. As far as she is concerned he is holding a grudge that doesn't need to be held as apparently Kate and Elliot have made their peace". She stops and shakes her head, I am surprised as this is news to me and Christian never said anything.

"Are Elliot and Kate reconciling?" I ask.

Josephine shakes her head, "No, they are going ahead with the divorce but they are civil for the children's sake and Mia said she could see them becoming friends eventually, but Ethan refuses to let it go and it is hurting Mia as she feels she has to choose between her brother and her husband. She really wanted to come to New York and so she felt left out, she wanted to see Ireland so badly".

I pause and think about that, "I'll give Ethan a call and have a chat with him" I say. Josephine smiles at me and I realise this is what she was hoping for all along.

"Are you really ok with your mom moving to California?" I ask her.

She looks surprised at the change of subject, and she nods, "Of course I am, my mom deserves to be happy" she says.

"I just thought you might feel a little abandoned, I mean this is your first pregnancy and I would assume every woman who is expecting their first child would like their mother on hand to lean on, and you are expecting twins so..." I trail off Josephine looks at me.

"Gideon, I have you to support me" she says simply and hearing that makes me feel like my heart is going to burst. "My mother deserves to be happy she has been alone for so long" Josephine adds and I stare at her marvelling at her selfless attitude.

"You are a remarkable woman Josephine Cross, and you humble me with your outlook on life" I say and I kiss her tenderly.

**oooOOOooo**

I watch the tender goodbye between Nicky and Denise the next morning and as I watch them I know for sure something happened between them last night, before there was always a sense of control to Denise's body language but now she can't keep her hands off him. I walk away giving them some privacy as they say their farewells. I head into the kitchen for some breakfast Liv and Zoe look up as I enter the room and smile at me.

"Nicky's going back to California today" Zoe states and I nod.

"He is" I say as I pour myself some coffee.

"Denise is going to California soon as well" she says.

"She is" I agree. Then I look at my youngest daughter and see that she has tears in her eyes, "hey what's wrong?" I ask and I sit down beside her and touch her hand.

I watch as her lip trembles "Is... Is she ever coming back?" she asks.

I see Liv suppress a smirk and lower her head and I nod at Zoe. "Of course she will, what made you think she wouldn't?" I ask.

"Because Nicky asked Dennie to marry him, so if she goes to California and marries him she will live there and not here and we won't see her" she says.

I stare at her, this isn't something I'd anticipated but I should have realised. Denise is more than a sister to Zoe, she took on the role of mom to her and Zoe looks up to her.

"Listen Zoe, Denise is going to college which is what she always wanted to do, just like Liv will, and like you probably will when you leave school. Just because we all will miss her terribly doesn't give us the right to stop her from going and yes she has met Nick and he has asked her to marry him, but that isn't going to happen until she has finished college. She will be at college for about three years and during that time we will still see her and Byron a lot. She will fly to New York and we will fly to California, but you have to remember that Denise has her own life to live and just because we will miss her doesn't mean we can stop her from living her own life". I say.

I look up and Denise is standing in the doorway with Byron in her arms, she has heard every word and she smiles reassuringly at Zoe. Walking into the kitchen she places Byron in his high chair and after giving him some breakfast she sits down at the table opposite Zoe and reaches across to her.

"I'll be back from time to time and I'll be living with Granddad Victor so I'm sure you guys will come and see me and don't forget we have phones, and Skype. It will be like I never went away. I'll always be there for you Zoe you know that. Just because I'm not here physically doesn't mean I won't be out of contact completely and if you need me anytime now you know you can pick up the phone and call me if I'm not at home, well what's different from calling me now and calling me when I am in California?" she says reasoning with Zoe. I watch Zoe listen and nod; she wipes her tears away and offers Denise a weak smile.

"Ok" she says eventually.

Denise smiles "Hey, don't you think I won't miss you guys terribly, of course I will. In fact you are probably going to be sick of me calling you!" she says with a grin.

Zoe giggles and Liv smiles and I realise she too is going to miss Denise but just hasn't said anything. The atmosphere has lifted and is much lighter now and I look at my three daughters laughing and joking together and I want to capture this moment and keep it forever. Zoe is right, we will all miss Denise when she goes. When Eva died she was the glue that held the family together when I fell apart, and now it's up to all of us to make sure that the family doesn't fall apart when she leaves.

I hear a phone ringing and the muffled sound of Josephine talking somewhere in the apartment, I assume she is talking to her mother and I decide to tell the girls about last night's other news.

"Erm... I have some other news for you guys" I begin. All three look at me expectantly. "Last night Maureen came back with granddad Victor later on after everyone had gone".

"There is something going on there isn't there?" Liv asks immediately.

I nod, "There is, they have developed quite a relationship and Granddad has asked Maureen to marry him, so she too will be moving to California".

Liv smiles, "Like that wasn't totally obvious, you only had to see the two of them together to know something was going on and they are made for each other, they have the same tastes and everything" she says.

"How does Josie feel her mom leaving her?" Zoe asks.

I smile at her, "I was worried, but she was happy for her mom. Last night when Maureen broke the news the only reaction that came from Josephine was one of acceptance and love – she just wants her mom to be happy" I say.

Zoe nods and takes a shot look at Denise, "I want Dennie to be happy too" she whispers.

"We all do" I whisper more to myself than to Zoe.

The kitchen door opens and Josephine stands there her face is pale and she looks distressed, I immediately stand and go towards her. She is gripping the phone in her hand tightly and holds it out to me, I realise it's my phone she is holding.

"What is it? What's wrong?" I ask.

"Christian is on the phone, he wants to talk to you" she stammers. I immediately go cold, what on earth has happened then I realise Ana must have had another miscarriage or something similar for the effect it has had on her, I take the phone and speak.

"Christian what's wrong?" I ask.

"Bro, we are all flying back to Seattle, I'm sorry I know we had plans today but something has happened" he says grimly.

"What's happened is Ana ok?" I ask holding my breath.

"Ana? Yes Ana's fine, its Mia. Ethan called this morning they had a fight or something over the fact he was being asshole and refused to come to Byron's birthday party because of Elliot and they were arguing Mia flounced off as Mia does and she crashed her fucking car" he stops his voice cracking.

"Shit, she's not?" I gasp.

"No she's alive but she lost the baby, she's in the hospital and Ethan is still behaving like an idiot even now, saying that if Elliot shows his face he won't he held responsible for his actions" he says.

"This has to stop" I say.

"You are telling me. Kate has told him and I've told him, but he just won't let it go" Christian says sadly.

"Gideon" I glance up to Josephine who has just spoken.

"Hang on bro" I say, "yes baby?" I ask.

"Can we go to Seattle and see Mia… I'd like to go?" Josephine asks nervously wringing her hands.

I smile at her and nod, "Of course we can" I say, I return my attention to my phone, "Bro, we are coming to Seattle too, Josephine wants to see Mia and I would like the opportunity to talk to Ethan" I say.

"Thanks bro, I know Mia has got quite close to Josephine and she talks to her a lot" he says.

We hang up and the whole house bursts into a flurry of activity. It is decided that the girls and Byron are staying in New York with Andy, Paul and Davis and other members of security are to be put on standby to step in if needs be and Raul is accompanying myself and Josephine to Seattle. Within the hour we are on our way to the airport. As we arrive we see the GEH jet taking off and I smile at it as it lifts into the sky. We climb aboard my jet and wait for our take off slot.

When we arrive in Seattle we head straight to the hospital and when we arrive we walk into a huge argument in a side room. Ethan is being held by Christian and Carrick is hanging on to Elliot and the two men are glaring at each other and yelling at each other.

Everyone turns as we walk in and Josephine immediately lets go of my hand and walks up to Ethan. His demeanour calms and he smiles at Josephine as she reaches for him and hugs him and then she deliberately turns and hugs Elliot. The atmosphere is highly charged but there is an eerie silence in the room the only sound is Kate sobbing quietly. I glance at her and see her glaring at Ethan and Ana stands with her arm around her.

"Ethan stop this please, can't you see what you are doing?" Kate sobs.

"You are my sister Kate, I hate what that fucking man whore did to you" he spits giving Elliot another filthy look.

Elliot takes a step forward and Carrick pulls him back and whispers in his hear furiously.

Josephine reaches for Ethan and looks at him carefully, "Ethan, Kate is your sister and you are hurting for her aren't you?" she says gently, and Ethan nods glaring once more at Elliot.

"But there is no need to hurt for Kate anymore, because she and Elliot are divorcing they are civil and on good terms so there is no need to carry on this animosity all it is doing is tearing the family apart and you are hurting everyone around you for no reason. You are hurting Mia because she feels she has to choose between her husband and her brother, you are hurting Kate because she feels guilty because you are her brother, you are hurting Grace and Carrick because they don't like to see the rift in the family, you hurt me because I was looking forward to seeing Mia and talking to her and... and I know this is a low blow and is blatant emotional blackmail but I don't care, because indirectly you have hurt a little one year old boy in New York who missed out on seeing his aunty, uncle and cousins on his birthday because his uncle is holding a grudge which he doesn't need to hold. Let it go Ethan, life is too short to carry on this sort of grudge, don't let it destroy you. Look what it has done already, you nearly lost Mia over it and you have lost your baby. How much more do you have to lose before you realise it's not worth it?" Josephine is speaking gently and calmly and now she has stopped you could hear a pin drop.

The silence spreads out and Josephine speaks again to break it, "Ethan, grudges only destroy the people who hold them, look at how the grudge Ryan Landon held against the Cross family destroyed him, it killed him in the end. I'm not saying you are going to end up like that, but you need to realise how your actions are having a ripple effect on everyone around you. It's ripping the family apart Ethan and it's time to let it go. Kate has let it go, and she was the one who was wronged by Elliot. Everyone was mad at Elliot and rightly so because he behaved stupidly and I think he realises he lost the best thing that ever happened to him". She pauses and glances at Elliot who nods firmly. "You can't do this Ethan, yes Kate is your sister, but Mia is Elliot's sister too".

We watch as Ethan's shoulders slump and he crumples, "She lost the baby" he moans and Josephine steps forward and holds him tightly.

"I know she did, so isn't that enough reason to stop this before you lose anything else?" she coaxes.

Ethan takes a huge breath and slowly nods, he looks up around the room and his eyes rest on Kate. "I'm sorry Katie, I was looking out for you but I took it too far" he mutters.

Kate steps forwards and hugs him and whispers something in his ear and he nods. He turns to Grace and apologises and shakes Carrick's hand. He turns to Christian and apologises to him eventually his eyes rest on Elliot and he pauses and hesitantly holds out his hand, Elliot's reaction is immediate he grabs the outstretched hand and pulls Ethan into a huge bear hug, and they both stand there apologising to each other. Josephine smiles and comes to stand next to me and I wrap my arm around her and whisper in her ear.

"You should get a job with the United Nations" I whisper and she giggles quietly and wraps her arm around me.

Ethan walks up to us and holds out his hand to me, "thank you for flying out to see Mia, she will be stoked to see you both" he says. I nod and shake his hand warmly. He glances once more at Josephine, "I have to say Gideon, you have one hell of a wife" he adds with a grin.

I pull Josephine closer and press a kiss to her temple "Oh I know I do" I reply.

**(DENISE)**

The house is eerily quiet. Zoe and Liv have gone to school, they had argued and protested about it and I slipped easily into the role of mom and told them they had to go. I clean up Byron and tidy up. Paul comes in and I look up and smile at him. Byron holds out his arms to him and Paul picks him up.

"Hi there little guy" he says gently.

I always find it funny how Byron can wrap every single member of dad's security around his little finger. You see these huge gorillas who are beyond hard turn to mush with one smile from my son. It's not just dad's team, Jason Taylor and Luke Sawyer are not immune to his charm and they react the same way when they see him. It never fails to amuse me the effect my son has on them all.

"Are you ready for the relocation to California?" I ask Paul. I know my dad has explained the plans but I haven't had chance to talk to him and see how he feels about the move.

He nods at me, "Your dad has set me up with a nice little house on the same street as where your grandfather lives, god knows how he managed it but it's a nice place. I've been out to see it, and your grandfather has workmen in getting it ready for me" he says.

"We've been through a lot haven't we?" I ask.

He nods, "you know when I first got the job as your CPO I was dreading it. I begged Raul not to give me the job I was happy where I was… but you grew on me!" he says with a grin.

"Gee thanks!" I say and roll my eyes.

Paul laughs, "You were nothing like I expected, I expected a little rich airhead spoilt, entitled and demanding, but you were so far removed from that stereotype it was embarrassing and I felt so bad at even thinking it" he says. He looks at me and I know he wants to say something else, eventually he speaks again, "You fucking scared the shit out of me when you were sick though, I could see how low you were getting and nobody could reach you and then you..." he stops and shakes his head, "Sorry" he mutters.

"No its fine, I don't mind talking about it but I don't really have a clear memory of that time – as those months it was like I was living in a fog and it's not a time I want to go back to… ever. I'm still having therapy to prevent anything happening again, but what... what... I did, I know I have to live with that and I have the scars to remind me never to go there again" I say as I glance down at my scarred wrists.

There is an uncomfortable silence which is broken by the buzz of the intercom, I stand and go and answer it.

"Hello" I say.

"Miss Cross? This is Dan from the front desk I have a lady here asking to see you" he says politely.

"Who?" I ask.

"A Miss Landon, Miss Jodie Landon" he says, I gasp and glance at Paul who stiffens and is immediately on alert.

"Ok give me a moment and I'll come down" I say.

I hang up and turn to Paul. "Paul, Jodie Landon is here asking for me" I look at Byron. "Will you stay here with Byron? I'll be fine on my own I mean Dan is on duty downstairs and he will have everything covered, but I don't think anything will happen" I say.

Paul nods, but pulls out his phone and sends a quick text and I realise he is probably telling Raul about this.

"If anything feels wrong, you walk away immediately" he says and I nod at him.

"I understand, I'm not about to take any risks" I say and look at Byron as I say it.

I take a deep breath and head down in the elevator. The doors open and I see Jodie standing by the desk she looks up as the elevator doors open and I walk towards her.

She smiles at me and takes a step towards me. I glance at Dan who is watching the interaction carefully and I realise that Paul has spoken to him too.

"Hello Jodie this is a surprise" I say politely.

"Hi, I was wondering if I could see Byron?" she asks.

I stare in confusion at her, "His birthday was yesterday, you were invited to the party we had so why didn't you come then?" I ask.

She sighs and shakes her head, "I had no idea until today when I found the invite by chance. I knew his birthday was coming up around now and I had bought him a little something. I am so angry at mom for not telling me, she didn't tell me about the invitation so that's why I'm here now" she says I glance at her and see she is holding a small box wrapped in colourful paper. I make the decision to allow her up.

"Ok, come on" I say and lead her towards the elevator, I glance at Dan and he nods and picks up the phone and I know he is warning Paul about the visitor.

"Why didn't your mom tell you about the invitation?" I ask as we ride up in the elevator.

Jodie shakes her head sadly, "My mom is a very shallow selfish woman" she says bitterly.

I am more than a little bit surprised to hear that and I have no idea what to say so I keep quiet.

"It's a long story" Jodie says after a moment which breaks the silence which had fallen between us and she looks at me and smiles sadly, "I will tell you everything but it's not pleasant" she says.

I nod and the elevator stops and we enter the apartment. Paul is waiting clearly on alert.

"Hello" Jodie says nervously looking carefully at him.

He nods at her but doesn't say a word.

"This is my CPO Paul" I say. Jodie nods and we venture further into the apartment.

I immediately notice Harley, Sam and Alex appearing from the kitchen. They are members of dads security team and Paul has obviously called them in just in case, they must have come up in the service elevator as I didn't see them arrive but I don't think their presence is needed.

"Hi guys" I say brightly.

They all mutter a greeting to me and glare menacingly at Jodie.

"Dad's security guys – they just dropped by" I say awkwardly. Jodie nods and follows me into the living room. Paul enters with Byron in his arms and hands him to me.

Jodie stares at him and takes a sharp intake of breath in when he looks at her.

"Oh my gosh he is Josh's double" she says and tears immediately pool in her eyes. She moves closer and holds out her hand to Byron, he looks at her suspiciously and then buries his head in my neck.

"He doesn't know you, you're a stranger to him" I explain.

Jodie nods sadly, "I understand" she says "Hello Byron" she says gently and he turns to look at her.

She smiles at him and she offers him the present, he looks at it and then at me.

"Go ahead it's ok" I say and I reach for the gift and hand it to him, his face breaks into a huge grin and moments later we are surrounded by shredded wrapping paper. His eyes go wide as he sees a toy digger inside. I take it from him and remove it from the box and hand it to him, moments later he is on the floor running the digger across the floor.

"Thank you" I say to Jodie, she has her eyes fixed on Byron and she is unnerving me a little. She snaps out of it and smiles at me.

"I'm sorry, he... it's just... I can see Josh's mannerisms and movements and his looks, it's quite unnerving" she says.

"Would you like a drink or anything?" I ask remembering my manners, Jodie shakes her head.

"No thank you, I'm fine" she says.

Byron goes to the chair and hauls himself to his feet and then unsteadily walks towards me, I catch him and sit him on my knee and he smiles and claps his hands, I laugh and I clap my hands.

"He took his first steps yesterday in front of everyone and they all made quite a fuss about it, everyone clapped and of course he loved the attention, the only problem is he expects a round of applause now every time he takes a few steps!" I say.

"Well you deserve it Byron" Jodie says and leans towards him. His smile fades and he immediately clings to me.

"It's ok Byron" I say gently, "This is your Aunty Jodie" I say. I turn to Jodie, "so you were going to tell me about why your mom didn't tell you about the invite, what was all that about?" I ask.

Jodie sighs, "Mom was desperate to offload dad for years… they weren't happy, I think you got that much the night you first came for dinner, from what I can gather mom held a bit of a torch for your dad. From what she told me I think they dated or something for a while" I shake my head and Jodie looks questioningly at me as I recall what my dad told me.

"That's not true they didn't date, she was a one night stand, he went with her once and she got attached and wanted more, but didn't get it" I say bluntly and then inwardly cringe at what I have just said but Jodie doesn't seem upset.

"Well that explains a lot… especially if that is the case as that was half dads problem with the Cross family, it had nothing to do with what happened to granddad when he got scammed by Geoffrey Cross, that was just an excuse to persecute your dad. What really ate at dad was the fact mom appeared to love your dad more than she loved him. If that was down to just one night then that doesn't do your ego much good does it?"

She pauses and my mind goes back to the night of the meal and Janice's reaction to my dad when he dropped me off and when he came for me later, not to mention her snide comments over dinner and then my mind flies to when I confronted Landon and basically threw in his face, that his wife preferred dad to him. It was meant just be just a cruel parting shot and at the time I had no idea I had scored a direct hit but it explains a lot and also goes a long way to explain his irrational animosity towards me.

"Well after Josh died, from what I can gather, mom got it into her head that because you were having Josh's baby that gave her a legitimate excuse to call and keep in touch but it was all an ulterior motive just to get close to your dad. I think my dad realised this which made him worse in his vendetta to try and remove Byron from you. He was still feeling guilty about Josh and in his warped state of mind he felt if he got Byron from you he would have his son back and be able to hang on to his wife and stop any interaction with the Cross family. Mom was so upset when your dad took up with Josephine but she figured that she stood a chance if she kept on his good side and showed an interest in Byron. However, when Maureen shot dad well that changed everything, not because of what she did… I mean that was all down to dad. He brought everything on himself and terrorising an old woman in her own home is low by anyone's standards, not to mention the fact he shot your dad. But I think it was the fact she was selling up and moving to New York to be near her daughter and your dad was helping her do it which made mom flip as it told her it was serious between your dad and Josephine. Then your dad married her and then the announcement came that Josephine was pregnant, well mom knew she stood no chance so she decided to just cut you all out of her life. I'm sorry Denise but she was never interested in Byron it was all a show just to get close to your dad. Hayley isn't interested either, but I was always closest to Josh. It was us against the world when we were growing up and I miss him so much. I genuinely would like the opportunity to be in Byron's life, let him know not all of his paternal family are assholes". She stops and I reach for her and grasp her hand.

"I'm so sorry" I whisper to her.

She shakes her head, "No it should be me who apologises to you. You were used and manipulated by mom, you were betrayed by Hayley and you were stalked and threatened by my dad, it isn't any wonder you had security here when I turned up" she says.

I move Byron on to the floor and move closer to Jodie and hug her tightly. "You can see Byron whenever you want to, I won't stop you" I say. Jodie hugs me back and bursts into tears.

"Thank you" she mumbles and then sniffs.

"But you need to remember one thing" I say, and she looks at me questioningly.

"Byron isn't Josh; he is part of Josh just as he is part of me. I will bring him up and tell him about Josh and you can play a big part of that as you knew Josh better than I did, but please don't try and think you are getting Josh back somehow as he is a separate person" I say.

Jodie nods "I understand" she says.

"Just for the record the security are all here because I'm here alone with Byron. Liv and Zoe are at school and Dad and Josephine flew to Seattle this morning" I explain.

"Oh" she says in surprise.

I nod, "Yeah, my Aunty Mia was in an accident and she is in the hospital, so everyone flew back to Seattle today. Everyone else was here in New York and were going to stay a few days but the call came through this morning" I say.

"Mia? Which one is Mia?" Jodie asks.

I smile, "she is Uncle Christian's sister, and she married Aunty Kate's brother Ethan" I say. I feel my phone buzz in my pocket, "Excuse me a moment" I say and pull out my phone and see it's Ireland.

"Hi Aunty Ireland" I say.

"Hello Denise, at last someone is answering, where is everyone? I called Christian, Ana, your father and Josephine and nobody is picking up?" she says.

"Oh god you don't know, a call came in first thing this morning. Aunty Mia is in the hospital in Seattle she was in a car accident, so all the Grey's flew back to Seattle first thing and dad and Josephine decided they wanted to fly out to see her" I explain.

"Oh my god is she alright... the baby?" she gasps.

"Aunty Mia is ok as far as I know, she's alive but the baby didn't make it" I say.

"Oh god" Ireland sobs, "So you are home alone?" she asks pulling herself together.

"No Paul is with us and at the moment I have a visitor" I say.

"Oh who?" she asks.

"Jodie Landon, Josh's sister" I say.

"Oh do you need me to come over?" she asks.

"No we are all good" I say confidently.

"Alright, if your dad calls tell him to call me, I'll keep trying in the meantime" she says.

"Will do" I say.

I hang up and push my phone away.

"Sorry about that" I say.

"No problem" Jodie says.

"There is something else you need to know" I say looking carefully at her.

"Oh?" she asks.

"I'm moving to San Diego after my birthday. I am going to San Diego University, so obviously Byron is coming with me. I am moving in with my grandfather in San Diego, but I'm also engaged". I pause and show her my hand and the ring Nicky gave me, she pulls my hand towards her and stares at it.

I carry on speaking and explain who I am going to marry, "His name is Nicky Kline and he is a musician. His dad knows my dad from way back, and we met when I was staying in California while I was pregnant. We plan to marry after I graduate, so having said that I won't be living in New York after my birthday" I say.

Jodie looks at me, "I see" she says. "This Nicky, he is prepared to take on Byron as well?" she asks.

I nod, "He is" I say "He adores Byron and the feeling is mutual" I say.

I barely get the words out of my mouth when my phone pings signalling a Facetime request, I pull out my phone.

"Speak of the devil" I say with a grin. I press the screen and Nicky's smiling face greets me.

"Hey babe" he says with a grin.

"Hi, your timing is brilliant I was just talking about you" I say.

"Oh?" he asks.

"Yeah, Jodie, Josh's sister is here and I was telling her about us" I say, "hang on" add and turn my phone so it is facing Jodie, Jodie this is Nicky, Nicky Jodie Landon" I say.

"Hello" she says, Nicky greets her and then calls my name, and as he does so, Byron hears him and looks up and he smiles and walks towards me and looks around in confusion. I see Jodie watching Byron's reaction to hearing Nicky's voice.

"Nicky, Byron wants to say hi" I say and I lift my son on to my knee and show him my phone.

"Hey there buddy are you being a good boy for mommy?" Nicky asks as he waves and smiles at us.

Byron grins widely and giggles and touches the screen, "dada" he says.

I glance at Jodie and see her face darken slightly.

"Listen Nicky can I call you back?" I say.

"Sure no problem babe, I'll let you return to your guest. I only called to let you know I was back in San Diego, dad and I are heading home now" he says, he turns the phone and I see Brett's smiling face and he waves at me.

"Hi Brett" I call.

"Hi there Denise" he calls.

"Ok I'll talk to you later bye babe... love you" Nicky says.

"Bye Nicky love you too" I say.

"Bye bye Byron be a good boy!" Nicky says and waves at Byron.

Byron waves and his smile fades as the screen goes black. He turns to me and points "dada" he says.

"I know, we'll talk to him later" I say. I reach for the digger and hand it to Byron and he slides off my knee and starts playing with it again.

"He calls Nicky daddy" Jodie says.

I nod, "he did it for the first time yesterday, but he doesn't fully understand, but he knows Nicky and with him being based in San Diego Byron has been with me for most of my Skype and Facetime chats with him" I say.

Jodie listens to what I am telling her and nods but doesn't say anything.

"When he gets old enough I will explain Nicky isn't his real dad" I say.

Jodie nods again, but I detect a hint of antagonism about it.

"I guess I'd better be going" she says suddenly.

I stand up "Thank you for coming and you know you are always welcome, Byron needs his daddy's family as much as he needs mine" I say.

Jodie thinks about this and nods, I pick up Byron and point at Jodie, "Say bye bye to Aunty Jodie" I say.

Byron looks at me and waves his hand at Jodie.

"Bye bye Byron" she says.

A huge grin crosses his face and he lurches forward his arms outstretched, Jodie looks astonished and holds out her arms and I place him in them.

Jodie smiles and tears fill her eyes again as she holds my son close.

"It was lovely meeting you Byron, you be a good boy for your mommy" she says. With that she strokes his head and hands him back to me.

"Thank you for allowing me to see him Denise" she says.

I nod "You're welcome, thank you for coming" I say.

She nods and without another words she turns and leaves.


	48. Chapter 48

CHAPTER 48

I stand staring after Jodie. I hold Byron in my arms and fear streaks through me. I start over thinking things and my mind starts over reacting and I need to talk to someone. Paul enters the room and he looks closely at me and he seems to realise I am close to freaking out.

"Denise what happened?" he asks.

I shake my head, "Nothing but I'm still freaking out a little" I say.

"Ok" he replies, "what do you need?" he asks calmly.

"My dad" I whisper.

"Ok, come on" he says, "I'm going to call Raul and find out where they are ok and get him on the phone for you right now" he says.

I nod, "Thank you" I say.

**(GIDEON)**

We are still at the hospital, after Josephine had talked sense into Ethan and we had seen Mia we hung around waiting for Christian who is at this moment talking to Carrick about something.

I see Raul coming up to me; he has a grim expression on his face. He has been fielding calls ever since we arrived and I wonder what the problem is.

"Sir we have a situation in New York" he says quietly.

"What's happened?" I ask immediately on alert.

"Paul has been in contact with me, Jodie Landon turned up at the apartment wanting to see Byron".

He holds his hand up as I immediately react to that and Josephine reappears by my side and looks at me with concern, but Raul continues to speak.

"By all accounts the visit went well, and nothing untoward happened but shortly after Miss Landon left Denise started freaking out and she is by all accounts a little upset and expressing a desire to talk to you" he says.

"What's going on Gideon?" Josephine asks.

I am pulling out my phone before Raul has finished talking and as I dial Denise's phone I quickly bring Josephine up to speed. Denise answers on the first ring.

"Daddy" she sobs.

"Denise, calm down and talk to me" I say calmly, but I am panicking wondering what has upset her.

"I'm sorry… I'm just over reacting" she says.

"Let me be the judge of that, talk to me Denise tell me everything" I say and I move to a side room and shut the door so we have some privacy. Josephine comes with me and touches my arm reassuringly.

I stand and listen as Denise tells me all about the visit, she tells me about Janice's reasons for not having contact with Byron and it makes me angry, she carries on and tells me how Jodie seemed upset about her relationship with Nicky and how after she had left her mind started working overtime that she was going to do something".

"Sweetheart listen to me" I say when she has finished, "I think you are right you are over reacting, but with good reason. After everything Landon put you through, and now hearing that Janice wasn't totally honest, you are bound to be suspicious and concerned, going on what you said I think Jodie does genuinely want to be in Byron's life, but I also think she's not happy with your relationship with Nicky. I think she sees him as replacing Josh especially with Byron calling him daddy. But that is none of her business, it is your life and how you choose to live it is up to you. If it makes you feel better I can get Raul to put eyes on her but you said yourself nothing happened and she had the perfect opportunity to pull something with you alone with Byron, ok Paul was there and a couple of the guys but if she was intent on causing trouble that wouldn't have stopped her" I say.

"Yeah I know you're right, I keep telling myself the same thing, but there is this crazy irrational voice which keeps telling me something bad is going to happen" she says.

"Don't listen to it" I say earnestly, "Give Dr Travis a call – or maybe Nicky… or both, get different perspectives on this" I suggest.

"Yeah that's a good idea" she says, she sounds calmer now and I start to relax, she has been doing so well so this came out of the blue, but it is a reminder that she still does have issues lurking beneath the surface ready to show themselves and we need to be aware of that and not be complacent.

After I am satisfied that she is calm I end the call and immediately telephone Nicky. I know he will be able to talk sense into her where nobody else can.

"Hello" he says when he answers.

"Nicky it's Gideon Cross" I say.

"Oh hello Mr Cross what can I do for you?" he asks politely. I can hear the surprise in his voice; he is wondering why I am calling him.

"I need you to call Denise and reassure her" I say.

"Why? What's happened I only spoke to her about 10 minutes ago she seemed fine then, she had a visitor, does this have anything to do with that?" he asks.

"It does, personally I think she is over reacting but I don't want this to escalate into something worse" I say. I quickly outline what happened with Jodie and he listens carefully.

"I can understand why she is upset about Byron calling me daddy, but we didn't plan that and we both intend to tell him when he is old enough that I'm not his real dad, and Denise is putting together a scrapbook of stuff about Josh for him so he knows all about him" he insists.

I didn't know Denise was doing that but it doesn't surprise me.

"I'll give her a call" he says.

"Thank you" I reply, "She may actually try and call you shortly as I suggested she call you and Dr Travis" I say.

"Ok... erm Mr Cross" he says hesitantly.

"Yes" I reply.

"You don't happen to have a contact number for this Jodie person do you? I'd like to speak to her myself and reassure her that I'm not trying to take Josh's place" he says.

"I can get you one, "I say carefully, "But do you think that is wise?" I add.

"Yes I do, I think she needs to hear it from me that Josh's memory will be respected" he says.

**(NICKY)**

We are sitting our seatbelts on and just coming into land, my father looks at me, he hasn't said anything about the trip to New York at all and he just keeps looking at me and giving me meaningful looks. I know he is desperate to say something.

As we are exiting the airport he finally says something to me.

"Something happened between you and Denise during this visit didn't it?" he says carefully.

I glance at him and nod, "It did and it was wonderful, but it was also very private so don't push" I say.

He grins at me, "I just hope you were careful as I don't want Gideon Cross on the phone in a father bear rage in few weeks time if you get what I mean" he says as he looks meaningfully at me.

"Yes we were" I assure him.

We climb into a taxi and I call Denise to let her know we are back in San Diego.

"Who are you calling?" my dad asks as he sees me with my phone.

"Denise" I say and I have this soppy grin on my face as I say it.

He rolls his eyes, "Shit you have it bad son" he says.

"I know I do, I love her dad" I say sincerely.

He pats my knee, "I know you do" he says.

I decide to Facetime her; I need to see her face. This distance between us hurts now we have been so intimate, I could cope with it before but now I know exactly everything that I am missing.

"Hey babe" I say with a grin when her face appears on my telephone screen.

"Hi, your timing is brilliant I was just talking about you" she says to me.

"Oh?" I ask, I wonder what she means by that.

"Yeah, Jodie, Josh's sister is here and I was telling her about us" she says, "hang on" she adds and I see her screen move so it is facing someone else I hear Denise's disembodied voice making the introduction "Jodie this is Nicky, Nicky Jodie Landon" she says.

"Hello" the woman says, so this is Josh's twin sister I remember Denise mentioning her when she told me about the Landon's.

"Hello, pleased to meet you" I say politely, "Denise" I call, I want to see my fiancée not the sister of her dead boyfriend. I hear Byron's voice and I smile, I love that little guy. The phone is moving again and then I see Denise.

"Nicky, Byron wants to say hi" she says and once again the phone is moving then Byron's face appears on my screen Denise is pointing to me and he is staring in surprise.

"Hey there buddy are you being a good boy for mommy?" I say as I wave at him.

Byron grins widely and giggles and he touches the screen, "dada" he says.

I see Denise glance away and look worried; I am guessing that Jodie isn't happy about Byron calling me daddy.

"Listen Nicky can I call you back?" she says suddenly and I can see the worry in her eyes.

"Sure no problem babe, I'll let you return to your guest, I only called to let you know I was back in San Diego. Dad and I are heading home now" I explain. I turn the phone towards dad who is watching me and listening to the conversation, dad smiles at her and waves and I roll my eyes at him which makes him grin wider.

"Hi Brett" Denise calls.

"Hi there Denise" he calls back.

Ok I've had enough of this and I turn the phone back to me, "Ok I'll talk to you later bye babe... love you" I say.

"Bye Nicky love you too" she replies and she says it with such sincerity my breath catches. Byron peers at me and I speak to him.

"Bye bye Byron be a good boy!" I say and I wave at him, and then I kill the connection.

"You love that little boy don't you?" my dad asks carefully.

I nod, "He's great! I just hope that we don't get interference from people sticking their oar in!" I say as I recall the woman who was visiting Denise.

"What does that mean?" dad asks "I don't think you'd get any issues from any of Denise's family I saw them yesterday they have all totally accepted you, nobody was off with you were they?" he asks.

I shake my head, "No not them, that woman who was with Denise when I called… Jodie she is Josh's twin sister, it is her I am thinking of" I say.

"Oh I see" dad says, "Well don't get jumping in with both feet you need tact for this. That girl lost her brother and he was her twin brother which is a special bond. You will have to take that into account, I agree she shouldn't have any say in what you and Denise do, but she is Byron's aunty and for Denise's sake you need to show her respect" he says.

I nod, "I don't want to cause trouble between Denise and Josh's family as there has been enough trouble there already and Byron has the right to know his dad's family. But if she hurts Denise in any way all bets are off!" I say. We arrive back at my dad's place and as dad pays the taxi I take the bags inside.

Dad comes in and throws himself on the sofa, "It's good to be home" he says.

I sit down, "Thanks for coming with me" I say.

He looks at me and smiles, "No problem, I wouldn't have missed your proposal for the world" he says.

"I really love her dad, there isn't anything I wouldn't do for her" I say.

He nods at me and smiles sadly, "I felt like that about her mom, Eva was something special… really special, but she never felt the same way about me" he says sadly.

I stare at him, "Do you resent Mr Cross for being with her?" I ask.

My dad shakes his head, "No, she loved him that much was obvious; you only had to see them together to get that much. I hated him for it back then though, but she was never mine, and she was right about me, when she said we were just fuck buddies and when she explained the reasons _why _she was with me and the way she was when she was with me and what had happened it all made sense and I knew she was in a bad place and searching for something which I could never have provided. So I was smart enough to realise he was good for her and once I came to terms with it and stopped behaving like an asshole things worked themselves out".

He stops speaking and closes his eyes and I am surprised at just how sad he looks.

"Is that why you decided to marry mom?" I ask, I have never really probed very deeply into this before but my dad seems to be quite talkative at the moment.

He turns his head and looks at me sadly, "Don't" he says simply.

"Dad, I don't judge you, I have figured most of it out for myself, mainly when I overheard mom and you were going at it and destroying each other. I'm not stupid, I know me and Tobes weren't planned and mom wasn't the love of your life. Your presence in our lives was pretty sporadic to say the least in my early years, but then all that changed and you asked mom to marry you and you settled down and went on to have Kyle and Rosie, was that because Eva got with Mr Cross?" I ask.

I watch the shame fill my dad's face. I put my hand out and touch his arm, "Dad stop it I know you love us, I wouldn't have come to live with you if I thought you didn't fucking care about me" I say.

My dad sighs, "I always held a torch for Eva, she was special the one who got away and yes I viewed our relationship through rose coloured glasses, made it out to be more than it was which was we were fuck buddies, and yes… that is what me and your mom were as well at the start. I was a different person then; I was young, stupid and chasing fame and fortune and didn't give a shit who I hurt in the process. When Eva went I hooked up with your mom and then you and Toby came along, but I strung your mom along because I always hoped Eva would come back. I loved your mom don't get me wrong I loved her… just not enough and certainly not enough to marry her, but…" he trails off.

"But when it became clear it was never going to happen with Eva you decided to try and make a go of it with mom?" I finish for him. He turns and nods sadly.

"I was a fucking asshole of epic proportions, but then I grew up and realised what was important in life and that was you kid's and I haven't been a complete failure as a dad have I?" he asks looking at me.

I nudge him affectionately, "No, you haven't" I say.

My dad smiles at me, "You know I don't say it often enough but I'm so fucking proud of you Nick, you are a good person and I wish every day that I was more like you are when I was your age and I didn't cause the hurt and pain that I did".

I have no idea what to say to that and I watch as my dad closes his eyes again.

"Dad, can I ask you something?" I say, my dad opens his eyes again and looks at me. "Does Gideon Cross intimidate you?" I ask.

He smiles, "Yeah, the way he stares at you with those icy blue eyes, he looks right through you" he says "yeah he did, and still does sometimes… why does he intimidate you?" he asks.

I shake my head, "No, he did. When I first met him and when he threatened me to be good to Denise at his wedding he scared the shit out of me. I caught a glimpse of something, I can't put my finger on it but something told me that there is nothing he wouldn't do for his kids and if I ever hurt Denise I would be a dead man walking, but last night when he said I could stay, you could tell he wasn't totally comfortable with it but he put that aside because he loves his daughter so much. Looking at the way they are together its special dad, I've never seen a parent and child so close, but I guess after what they have all been through together it's to be expected" I say.

My phone starts buzzing and I pull it out and look at it it's a number I don't recognise but seems to be vaguely familiar.

"Hello" I say as I answer.

"Nicky its Gideon Cross" comes the clipped voice and I nearly drop the phone in shock.

"Oh hello Mr Cross what can I do for you?" I ask politely. My dad sits up and his eyebrows rise dramatically and he is immediately interested.

"I need you to call Denise and reassure her" he says. I frown at his words, he sounds worried, panicked even.

"Why? What's happened I only spoke to her about 10 minutes ago she seemed fine then, she had a visitor, does this have anything to do with that?" I ask, I remember the worry on Denise's face when Byron called me daddy.

"It does, personally I think she is over reacting but I don't want this to escalate into something worse" he says.

"What's happened?" I ask, I get what he is worried about immediately and I pay attention to it, as I don't want it to either.

"Jodie Landon has been to visit, she has expressed a desire to be in Byron's life, but it would appear she took exception when Byron called you daddy, quite frankly its none of her business what you and Denise do but Denise feels she owes her something, but after everything that Ryan Landon did to her and everything Jodie has told her about how Janice has manipulated her as well I don't believe she owes her anything. It has upset Denise though, since Jodie left it has made her mind start to run riot and I think she is scared Jodie is going to do something, personally I don't think that is the case but she needs to hear it from someone else, she needs reassurance" he says.

"Who is Janice?" I ask, I remember the name and Denise talking about her, but at this moment my mind goes blank as to who she is.

"Josh's mother, apparently according to Jodie, she was never really interested in Byron she was only keeping a connection to the Cross's because... of me, it appears she has feelings for me and has done for years, which also accounts for why Landon was so bent out of shape and desperate for revenge".

I listen in shock to what he is saying he is clearly embarrassed by this but I detect something else in his voice as he says it... shame... guilt and I realise that he feels responsible for what happened he thinks he is to blame somehow. I think back to everything Denise told me about Landon and it fits, if he always felt he was playing second fiddle to another man it would be enough to tip you over the edge… Like my mom felt she played second fiddle to Eva with my dad. I push those thoughts from my head and return to the matter at hand. Mr Cross stops speaking and I quickly think things through.

"I can understand why she is upset about Byron calling me daddy, but we didn't plan that and we both intend on telling him when he is old enough that I'm not his real dad, and Denise is putting together a scrapbook of stuff about Josh for him so he knows all about him" I say. "I'll give her a call" I add.

"Thank you" he replies gratefully, "She may actually try and call you as I suggested she call you and Dr Travis" he says.

"Ok... erm Mr Cross" I say, I have made my decision what I am going to do.

"Yes" he says.

"You don't happen to have a contact number for this Jodie person do you, I'd like to speak to her myself and reassure her that I'm not trying to take Josh's place" I say, I look at my dad and recall his words as I say this.

"I can get you one," he says carefully, "But do you think that is wise?" he adds.

"Yes I do, I think she needs to hear it from me that Josh's memory will be respected" I say firmly, but I also think I need to put Miss Landon in her place especially if she has upset Denise.

"I'll get Raul to call you with her number" he says.

"Thank you" I say.

"Thank you Nicky," he says gratefully, and I realise how hard that must have been for him.

"No problem, there's nothing I wouldn't do for Denise" I say.

I end the call and my dad is frowning at me, "What was all that about?" he asks.

"It appears all bets are off dad!" I say.

His eyebrows rise again and before I can call Denise my phone buzzes again I quickly answer as I see Denise's name on my screen.

"Denise baby are you ok?" I ask anxiously.

"I'm sorry about before" she says with a forced brightness.

"Denise, cut the crap. What happened? And before you even think about saying nothing, know that I have just spoken to your dad, he just called me and he is worried" I say.

There is a silence for a moment, then she speaks again, "Ok, well I think I am over reacting, but Jodie told me a load of stuff, about how her mom didn't really want anything to do with Byron she was just using him and me to try and get closer to dad, because she has a thing about him. She and dad have history from when he was a young man before he met mom. It's a long story, anyway it made everything that happened with Ryan Landon make sense, but then Byron called you daddy and she was pissed about that - you could see it on her face. I tried to reassure her, but when I told her I was moving to San Diego I got the impression she wasn't pleased about that either, it was ok when she left but after she had gone my mind started working overtime and I started panicking and thinking she was going to do something. All the old insecurities came back and fears that someone was going to take Bryon from me and I freaked out a bit. Paul got dad to call me and he made me see sense and said I should call you and Dr Travis and ask your opinion on it" she says.

"Ok well what did Jodie actually say and do?" I ask.

She quickly runs through everything that happened and I do believe she is over reacting a little.

"Babe, I think she is just scared. She wants to have Byron in her life and she is scared that with you moving and us, that is going to be made difficult for her. So I tell you what I am going to do, I'm going to speak to her myself and reassure her that she is welcome to see Byron whenever she wants to and that we both will make sure Byron knows all about his dad, is that something you would like me to do?" I ask.

"I would" she says gratefully, and I can tell she is calm now.

"Ok baby, you leave that with me and I will sort it out for you, I promise" I say.

"Thank you" she says "and I'm sorry" she adds.

"You have absolutely nothing to be sorry about" I say. "Have you called Dr Travis yet?" I ask.

"No, I'm going to call him when I hang up from you" she says.

"Alright baby, well I'll let you go to do that right now, he is the professional and he will know what to say to make you feel better and see things clearer, ok?" I say.

"Ok" she says.

"If you need me at any time just call me" I say. The last thing we need is for this to cause a relapse and make her ill again.

She assures me she will and she tells me once again that she loves me, before she hangs up and I push my phone in my pocket.

"What's going on?" my dad asks.

I quickly outline everything that has happened, my dad shakes his head, "Tread carefully son, you don't want to make things worse with this Jodie person" he says.

I nod, "I will" I say.

Moments later my phone buzzes again, I answer it quickly, "hello" I say.

"Nicky? Nicky Kline?" the voice says.

"Yes" I say.

"This is Raul Huerta I have the contact details for you for Miss Landon, I will text them to your phone shortly" he says.

"Ok thank you" I say and the line goes dead.

My phone buzzes again and I see the text appear. I quickly open it and use the number he has provided and place the call to Jodie Landon.

"Hello" the voice that answers quietly says.

I brace myself and then speak calmly and politely, "Is this Jodie Landon?" I ask.

"It is, may I ask who this is?" she replies suspiciously.

"Nicky Kline, Denise's fiancé" I say and there is a silence for a moment before she speaks.

"Oh I see" she says there is an edge to her voice which immediately sets me on the alert.

"Hello I wanted to speak to you, to reassure you about my relationship with Byron" I say carefully.

Again there is a silence so I continue to speak, "I have just spoken to Denise and I got the impression from what she said that you are concerned about the fact Byron called me daddy" I say.

"Well you're not his daddy my brother is" she retorts defensively.

I sigh, "I know that and so does Denise but Byron doesn't yet because he is too young at the moment, but Denise is putting together a scrap book for him all about Josh and we are going to tell him about his father and how I am not his biological dad. I want to help Denise raise him but I also want to respect Josh's memory. I know he is not biologically my son, but I will be raising him as my own because I love him but I swear to you he will always know who his biological father is" I stop speaking and I hear a small sob.

"I just want to be a part of Byron's life, I don't want to cause trouble or hurt Denise, as she has been hurt enough by my family. Did I upset Denise?" she asks.

"No" I lie. "She was a little concerned that you were upset about Byron calling me daddy and for the fact that she and Byron are moving to San Diego so I said I would call and reassure you and assure you of my best intentions" I say.

"Thank you I appreciate that. I miss Josh terribly and Byron is the only link I have to him" she says.

I frown at this "You have to remember he's not Josh, he is a separate person" I say.

"I know that" she snaps, "Denise said the same thing to me, it's just I can see Josh in him so clearly, it's not just his physical features – he resembles Josh so vividly. But his mannerisms and movements, you have to remember Josh was my twin we had a bond when we were little and we have always been close. I miss that bond so seeing Byron… I know he is a different person but it gives me comfort to see the resemblance" she says.

"Ok well I have said what I wanted to say, and hopefully you realise now I am not trying to take your brothers place" I say.

"Thank you, I do think I may have reacted a little negatively and I regret that, would you tell Denise I am sorry" she says.

"Of course I will, I am sure you have Denise and Byron's best interests at heart, neither of us want to see Denise hurt again" I say.

I glance at my dad and he gives me a warning look.

I hear her sigh; she gets what I am saying to her "I can understand your suspicion, after the way my family have behaved. She was terrorised by my father and manipulated by my mother and betrayed by my sister, but I don't want to hurt her. I don't want to cause trouble I just want to be an aunty to my nephew" she says.

"That's fine then as long as we understand each other so there can be no misunderstanding going forward" I say.

"No there's not and I do appreciate your call" she says.

"You're welcome" I say. With that I hang up and sigh.

"Well?" my dad asks.

I shake my head, "She sounded genuine enough but I don't know her well enough to make that call. She did or said something which was enough to freak out Denise but that could have just been an overreaction on her part, all I know is I have done all I can to prevent anything happening.

I send a quick text to Gideon Cross.

_**Thanks for the no. Have called Jodie and put her straight all appears to be ok, will call Denise later. **_

I quickly read through it before I send it, it is concise and says everything I need to say, and I hit send.

**(GIDEON)**

I read the text which has just come through from Nicky and I smile, this boy understood immediately what the issue was and he fixed it, and in that moment I know Denise will fine with him.

"Gideon is everything ok?" I turn to look at Josephine.

"It appears to be now, I believe Denise was overreacting but we can't be complacent under the circumstances. Jodie did or said something to make her think something bad was going to happen and we have done all we can to reassure her that isn't going to happen" I say.

"Do you want to go home?" she asks me.

I nod, "Yes I do" I reply.

She smiles at me, "Well we have seen Mia, and physically she is going to be ok, she has Ana here who knows exactly what she is going through with the loss of the baby, and she can help her more than anyone else can, so I don't believe that there is any need for us to stay if you want to go home" she says.

I nod and we head out in search of my family.

Everyone is crowded into Mia's room and they look up as we enter.

"Guys, something has cropped up and I need to return to New York" I say apologetically.

Ethan smiles at me, "No problem Gideon, thank you for taking the time to come out to us, it was good of you" he says. Mia nods in agreement; I lean down and press a small kiss to her cheek, to see the normally irrepressible Mia so quiet is sobering.

"Thank you" she whispers to me. I nod and smile at her.

I walk up to Grace and hug her tightly, "Bye mom" I say.

"Goodbye darling, we will see you again soon, it won't be long, as Denise's birthday isn't that far away" she says.

I shake Carrick's hand and then embrace Ana, Elliot and Kate, I finally face Christian and he speaks to me.

"I'll walk you out" he says, I nod we pause and wait for Josephine who is saying her goodbyes to everyone.

"What's happened?" Christian asks as soon as we leave the room.

"Denise had a visit from Jodie Landon and she freaked out a bit, I think we have reassured her and calmed her down but I want to get home... just in case" I say.

Christian nods, "I understand, those fucking Landon's when will they give it up and leave her alone" he spits.

I shake my head, "To be fair I think in this case this was more Denise overreacting and Jodie didn't mean any harm, but I want to be on the ground in case I am mistaken" I say.

"Of course you do, I'll let you head off" he glances at his watch, "if you leave within the next hour or so you should be back in New York at a reasonable time" he says.

We embrace and say our goodbyes and I grab Josephine's hand and head out to the airport, Raul is on the phone organising everything for us.

It's late when we arrive back in New York but not too late, we arrive at the apartment and everything is quiet. Paul appears from the kitchen and stares in surprise.

"Oh I wasn't expecting you home tonight sir" he says.

"No, we decided to come home, there was nothing more we could do in Seattle" I say and I look around, "Where is everyone?" I ask.

"Zoe is in bed, Byron is also asleep, Liv and Denise went out for a walk" I stare at him in disbelief, and open my mouth to protest but he holds up his hand "They are accompanied by Andy and Davis, Denise requested I stayed to take care of Byron... and Zoe of course, I think she wanted to talk to Liv about her visitor today" he says.

I nod, "Did she call Travis?" I ask.

Paul nods, "She did she had quite a lengthy session with him and Nicky has called her periodically through the day, after she spoke to you this morning she calmed considerably and then shortly afterwards she called Nicky again and they talked for a while and then she called Dr Travis. I was around during the visit with Miss Landon and I have to say sir, I honestly don't think she did anything wrong, she didn't give me the impression she was a threat, she was a little concerned by the fact Byron called Nicky daddy when he called while she was there, and she seemed a little upset by Denise's plans to move to San Diego, but I honestly believe her intentions are genuine".

I nod, "From what Denise told me I believe she overreacted, but it is hardly surprising considering everything that family put her through, she is bound to think the worst when she gets any sort of negativity from them" I say.

I hear the elevator ping and a moment later my two daughters appear, they stare at me and then at Josephine and Denise breaks into a sprint and runs to me throwing herself into my arms. I catch her and hold her tightly.

"Daddy" she whispers.

"It's ok" I murmur and press a kiss into her hair.

She looks up at me, "How's Aunty Mia?" she asks.

"Physically she's fine, cuts bruises and a couple of cracked ribs but she is obviously devastated at the loss of the baby" I say.

Denise nods and then she looks panic stricken, and slaps her head with her hand.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"Fuck I forgot to tell you when I spoke to you earlier, Aunty Ireland called, she was trying to get hold of you first thing this morning and asked me to tell you, shit I forgot!" she says.

"Don't panic, I've spoken to her she got hold of me a bit later on and everything is good" I say trying to reassure her.

"Oh right, I'm sorry" she says.

"Don't worry about it, worse things happen" I say.

**oooOOOooo**

The next morning I am sitting with my coffee when everyone appears all at once and converges on the kitchen for breakfast, I look up in surprise and sip my coffee.

"Good morning" I say generally and look around at everyone.

Liv kisses my head "mornin' dad" she says as she reaches for a mug.

Byron squeals and holds out his arms to me and I take him from Denise and sit him on my lap, he reaches for my phone which is on the table in front of me and I hand it to him to play with.

"Good morning daddy" Denise says quietly. She seems preoccupied as though she wants to say something.

"Good morning" I reply and I look at her closely, I glance at Liv and then Josephine and they both shrug. Zoe is the last one to appear and hurtles into the kitchen and grabs the breakfast cereal and a bowl.

"Erm... dad" Denise says, I look up at her and smile.

"Yes" I say.

"You know when we fly to California for the wedding?" she says carefully and in that moment I know what she is going to say.

"Yes" I say.

"I think I am going to move then, as it seems the logical thing to do rather than come back only to fly back again a couple of weeks later" she says.

There it is, I nod but don't say anything for a moment eventually I speak and I don't recognise my voice.

"Have you run this past your grandfather and Maureen?" I ask.

She nods at me, "I spoke to them yesterday, granddad called" she says, "They are fine with it, they said as long as you were alright with it, it would be fine by them" she says.

"Fair enough" I say.

"It makes sense though doesn't it?" she pushes, she can see I'm a little thrown by this; I know she wants to be closer to Nicky I nod and smile at her.

"It does, if that is what you want then we can make it happen" I say.

I see her shoulders sag with relief and the smile she gives me is stunning. She walks over and hugs me around the shoulders and kisses me on the head, "Thank you daddy" she whispers.

I wrap my free arm around her waist, "On the condition you don't forget about all of us here in New York and you come and visit once in a while" I say.

She stares at me "Daddy I would never forget about everyone here!" she gasps clearly affronted that I would think such a thing.

"I'm joking" I say carefully.

She shakes her head at me, "Well that's not funny!" she retorts.

"Anyway as I was saying granddad called yesterday, I forgot to mention it with everything else that happened, he is back in California – and as you know Maureen is following shortly she should be moved in by the end of next week and then the following week they are planning to go to city hall and get married and of course we are all invited" she says.

I frown; surely they could have something better than city hall? I retrieve my phone from Byron and glance at my watch, it's early but not too early for Victor I am guessing he will be up and about, I place the call and wait.

"Hello" he says.

"Victor, it's Gideon, I understand you called yesterday, I'm sorry I haven't called sooner I have only just got the message" I say.

"Hello Gideon, that's fine, Denise seemed a little distracted when I spoke to her, did everything get sorted out with that Landon girl?" he asks.

"It did" I say.

"That's good, that family have caused enough trouble to last a lifetime" he says bitterly.

"Tell me about it" I say, "Listen Victor, Denise has told me of the plans for the wedding" I begin.

"Yeah, I'm home now, Maureen's stuff and Maureen will all be here by the end of next week – thank you for sorting that by the way and then the week after that we are planning to head to city hall and do the deed, you are all invited of course and did Denise tell you she is thinking of staying when she flies out then?" he asks.

"She did, but I want to talk about the wedding" I say.

"Oh yes?" he asks.

"Yes, come on Victor surely you can do better than city hall?" I say.

He sighs, "Look I know I've never been married. Eva's mom refused to marry me and Maureen has been a widow for years we have talked it over and we don't want any fuss" he says.

"I understand that, but I have a number of hotels in your area, trust me when I say we can do better than city hall, and still have the simple no fuss ceremony you are looking for. Look at what I did when I married Eva, we went to one of my hotels and just did it – it was just me and her and it was beautiful" I say.

"Ok, thank you, I guess it would be better than city hall, I want to give Maureen a day to remember after all" he says.

"Good that's settled then, I'll get Scott to send you details of the properties I own in San Diego and you pick which one you want and we'll take it from there" I say.

"Alright, thank you" he says.

"Who will be attending?" I ask.

"Erm... it's going to be small I am inviting you guys of course, and your father. I like Chris and Christopher and Ireland and her husband, I am inviting Ray and Denise as I have asked Ray to be my best man" he pauses, and I think he is worried I will be offended he didn't ask me, but Ray was a no brainer since they met they have become close friends and meet up regularly for fishing and hunting expeditions. "And the Grey's of course, and I will invite that young man –Nicky, who Denise is seeing and his father. I like Brett we have met up a few times for a few beers on occasions, since we first met" he says.

"What about your family?" I ask.

"There isn't any apart from you guys" he replies, "I had a brother but he died a few years ago, and Maureen only has Josephine" he says.

"Alright then, well Scott will be in touch at some point today" I say.

"Thank you Gideon, I appreciate that" he says. "I'll give Maureen a call I'm sure she will be stoked by your offer" he says.

We talk a few moments longer and then end the call it's not long before my phone starts buzzing and Maureen's name appears on the screen.

I smile as I answer.

"Good morning Maureen" I say.

"Good morning Gideon and thank you so much for your kind offer" she says gratefully.

"Not a problem" I say dismissively. "Also, I would like you and Josephine to go shopping and get yourself an outfit, you know something which you think is appropriate to get married in, whatever you want" I say.

"Gideon that is very generous of you but I can't..." she says but I quickly interrupt her.

"Yes you can and yes you will" I say emphatically "and it's no problem at all" I add.

"Alright thank you very much, you are a good man Gideon and Josephine is lucky to have you" she says. "There is actually a reason for my call besides thanking you for your generosity" she says.

"I see" I say waiting for her to continue.

"Yes... if you don't think it's too weird... I'd... I'd be honoured if you would escort me and give me away?" she asks.

I stare at the phone in shock; I had assumed she would ask Josephine "If that is what you want, I would be honoured" I stammer, "But... I thought you'd ask Josephine?" I ask.

"Josephine is going to be my matron of honour" she says. "I would also like your girls to be my bridesmaids – if they want to of course" she says.

I glance up at them, "Well why don't you ask them... hang on and I'll put you on speaker, they are all here as we speak" I say, I press the speaker button "Go ahead" I prompt.

"Erm... ok... hello?" she says nervously.

"Hi Maureen!" is the unanimous response.

"I was wondering when I marry your grandfather if you three would do me the honour of being my bridesmaids?" she asks.

I watch as my daughters all beam in response, Zoe is the first to speak, "I will, I like being a bridesmaid, can I have a pink dress?" she calls, Maureen laughs, and then Liv and Denise speak.

"Of course I will, Maureen" Liv calls.

"Goes without saying" Denise says.

"Thank you, thank you all and Zoe you can have whatever colour dress you want" she says. I watch as my youngest daughter claps her hands gleefully, I roll my eyes.

"You may regret saying that" I say.

Maureen laughs again, "I'm sure I won't" she says.

**oooOOOooo**

_Two weeks later..._

"Well this is it then" I say as I hold out my arm to Maureen, she looks stunning in a simple fitted suit she is holding a small bouquet and she nods at me.

"Let's do this thing" she says with a confident nod. My daughters and Josephine have just taken their places and I hold out my arm to Maureen and she slips her hand around it.

"Wait" she whispers and I pause and look at her. "Thank you Gideon, for everything you have done" she says.

I wave my hand dismissively.

"No, you won't wave this off as nothing, you have put together a wonderful day for me and for Victor in the space of two weeks you are a wonderful generous man and I thank you" she says, and to my surprise she rises on to her tip toes and presses a small kiss to my cheek.

"You are more than welcome" I say slightly embarrassed.

"Ok that's all lets go" she says.

I walk down the makeshift aisle with Maureen, Victor is waiting and he can't take his eyes off her.

I hand Maureen over and take my place and the ceremony begins, it is simple and tasteful they have both gone for traditional generic vows and before we know it, it's all over.

"You may kiss your bride" the minister says and Victor leans forward and grasping Maureen by the shoulders places a chaste kiss on her lips. Everyone breaks into applause and both Victor and Maureen glance around and smile at everyone.

We make our way into the private dining room and gather around the seating plan. I glance around the room, to my left is Christian, Ana and the other Grey's to my right is Ireland and Gareth and Christopher, I see Chris chatting happily with Ray and Denise and I see Grace and Carrick arrive, I immediately stand walk over to greet them.

"Mom" I say as I embrace her warmly.

"Gideon darling how are you?" Grace says as she folds her arms around me. She turns to Josephine and gasps, she is huge, she is quite a petite person and she is not due until the end of September, and it is only the beginning of June, but in the last couple of weeks she has grown considerably.

"Josephine how are you, my word you do only have two in there don't you?" Grace says with a grin, Josephine smiles widely.

"I know they are growing rapidly" she says as she runs her hand over her expanding swollen stomach.

Christian approaches with his arm firmly around Ana she is due late August and this will probably be the last time we will all be together as it won't be safe for her to fly for much longer. Ana is still adamant that she doesn't want to know the sex of the baby and she has had numerous understandable wobbles throughout the pregnancy. Ethan and Mia join us and Mia smiles bravely, talk of babies and pregnancy abruptly comes to an end as we know she is still struggling with coming to terms with the loss of their baby and doesn't need to hear it. Ireland joins us and hugs Mia fiercely. We are all chatting happily when Victor and Maureen arrive we all turn and applaud them as they enter the room. Maureen blushes and Josephine leaves me to go and greet her mother warmly.

We take our seats and the entrees start to be brought out. After a delicious meal it is time for the speeches. I glance up and Ray gets nervously to his feet, I can see he is very uncomfortable about this.

"Well you all know I am a man of few words which could prove to be a bit difficult considering as best man I have to now make a speech, well you all know how long I have known Victor so I don't need to go into that and everyone here knows how we became friends so that part is covered as well" he pauses as there is a ripple of laughter around the room, "so really there is only one thing I really do need to say and that is wish my friend Victor and Maureen the best of everything… to Victor and Maureen" he says raising his glass.

"Victor and Maureen" everyone responds.

Victor stands up grinning from ear to ear, "Thank you Ray, I have to say although that is the shortest best man speech in history, I think that is the longest single thing I've ever heard you say!" he says there is another ripple of laughter at this and Ana nods.

"Well what can I say, thank you all for coming here today and sharing this day with us, I would like to thank Gideon for everything he has done, when I first met him I wasn't sure, Mr big shot billionaire sniffing around my little girl, but it was Ray who convinced me to give him the benefit of the doubt he had met him through Ana and said he was a good guy and I did as he said, and I'm glad I did, because I am proud to call him my son in law, and even though Eva – god rest her soul is no longer with us, Gideon still made me feel included in his life and it was that inclusion which lead me to meet this wonderful woman sitting beside me here today. Gideon finding happiness again with Josephine has also given me my chance at happiness with Maureen and for that Gideon I thank you". He raises his glass to me and nod at him, I am embarrassed. Victor continues to talk.

"I look around this room" he says gesturing, "and I feel honoured and proud to have been welcomed into and made to feel as though I belong to such a close warm and loving family, we have the undisputed matriarch – Grace, her unconditional love and compassion for everyone she comes into contact with, then we have Carrick, Ray, Chris, Denise, Maureen and myself, not one of us is biologically related to _all_ of the siblings, and some have no biological claim at all but that doesn't matter for this family because this family doesn't count who donated the DNA but who gives the love and the support, every single one of us consider them all our sons and our daughters - Christian, Gideon, Christopher, Elliot, Mia, Ireland, and of course Ana, Josephine, Gareth and Ethan, all brought together by chance but bonded together by love, then the next generation, as well as the babies who have not yet been born there is Gideon's girls - my granddaughters - Denise, Olivia and Zoe, Christian and Ana's daughter Phoebe, Elliot's children Ava and Lucas and Mia and Ethan's children, Aiden, Andrew and Abbie, and of course last but by no means least my great grandson Denise's son Byron, I also feel it would be remiss of me at this point not to mention the newest additions to our family so I also take a moment to mention Denise's fiancé Nick and his father Brett who are also here today, so whatever your surname is and there are plenty to chose from within this unique family it's not what your name is, or who you share your DNA with it all comes down to who you love and who you trust and who gives that back to you, which brings me neatly to this wonderful woman right here, who I love with all my heart and who has trusted me to love her for the rest of her life - Maureen thank you for becoming my wife". Victor sits down and grabs Maureen's hand and pulls her towards him and I watch him kiss her lovingly. There is an instant reaction to the speech, everyone as one stands and applauds loudly.


	49. Chapter 49

CHAPTER 49

_The next day..._

This is the day I have been dreading since the moment I arrived in California, today is the day I head back to New York with Josephine, Olivia and Zoe, but leave behind Denise and Byron. I know this is going to be emotional, hell it's going to be a fucking wrench, but I also know my daughter has to make her own way in the world and build her own life. I am packing my bag trying to keep busy and put off the moment and keep it from stampeding through my mind when there is a knock at the door.

"Come in" I call.

I hear the door open and I glance around, and see Grace standing there looking anxiously at me.

"How are you bearing up?" she asks.

Her words are my undoing and my resolve crumbles. Grace immediately walks towards me and pulls me into her arms.

"Gideon darling come on hold it together" she whispers, I cling to her as though she is a life raft.

"I'm going to miss her so much mom" I moan.

"I know you are, you two are incredibly close, but you can be in the air and by her side in a few hours from New York. You have every possible means of communication available to you both and she is only about an hour away from us and Christian should the need arise, but I'm sure everything will be absolutely fine. She is staying with Victor and Maureen and they will take care of her and Byron, and she has Nicky and Brett looking out for her too, your fears are groundless Gideon and you know it" she says.

"I know that, I just worry" I say with a shrug.

Grace touches my face and smiles at me, "That is because you are an excellent father with a beautiful heart, it is natural you will worry, she is your little girl, but you also know that it is the right thing to do to let her go" she says.

I nod and cling to her once more. We don't say anything but the silence isn't uncomfortable it's natural and Grace just holds me and rocks me gently in her arms.

Eventually she pulls away and looks carefully at me, "Are you alright?" she asks.

I take a deep breath and nod, "I am… thank you mom" I say. Grace smiles again and I am surprised to see tears in her eyes, "What's wrong?" I ask as I lift up my hand and brush away the stray tear which has just escaped from her eye.

Grace laughs and shakes her head, "Nothing darling, honestly I'm fine" she pauses and then looks directly at me when she speaks again, "I didn't give birth to any of my children, I chose my two sons Elliot and Christian and I chose my daughter Mia... but my fourth child and third son chose me and for me that is something extremely special I will never forget the fact that you think of me as your mother Gideon" she says.

It's my turn now to pull Grace into a hug and I hold her tightly, "You are the best mom in the world" I say sincerely, "and I just wish I'd always had you in my life" I add.

We pull apart once more, "It's time for breakfast" Grace says and we head downstairs.

The house is practically bursting at the seams, overcrowded doesn't begin to describe it. Victor's house just wasn't big enough to accommodate everyone, so Josephine and I stayed in the house down the road which I have bought for Paul. The girls stayed with Victor and everyone else namely Carrick and Grace, Christian, Ana and Phoebe, Ray, Denise, Christopher, Ireland and Gareth, Chris, Elliot, Mia and Ethan and the children all stayed in one of my hotels, but everyone has converged on Victor for breakfast as he had requested we all do so and the house is buzzing.

"I bet you didn't expect to be spending your honeymoon fighting to get around your own kitchen!" Christian says as he moves out of the way to allow Victor to get through.

Victor smiles at him, "I wouldn't have it any other way!" he says. "To have all my family around me is a wonderful thing" he adds sincerely.

There is a knock at the door and Victor's face breaks into a grin, "Aah it appears breakfast has arrived!" he says, he glances at Denise who is closest to the front door, "Denise honey go and let Brett in!" he calls.

Denise nods and hands Byron to me as she disappears from the packed kitchen, moments later Brett and Nicky appear and stare in shock.

"Whoa" Brett says coming to a halt, he is carrying two large paper grocery bags and scans the room looking for Victor.

Victor pushes his way through his face breaking into a beaming smile, "Thank you Brett" he says taking one of the bags. "Everyone I would like to introduce you all to one of the most wonderful creations on this planet, I have indulged in these little beauties for years and trust me when I say you haven't lived until you have had one!" he opens the bag and starts to hand around individually wrapped packages.

"What is it?" Christian asks as he unwraps his.

"It's called a breakfast burrito" Victor says, he laughs at Christian's horrified look, he is not a fan of fast food "It's not a burrito in the literal sense it is just the fact it is all enclosed in a tortilla wrap but it is delicious, try it" he urges.

I watch my brother shrug and take a bite, his eyes light up and he pauses and stares at the burrito. "Oh my god this is unreal!" he says.

Within moments there are moans and exclamation of appreciation and delight coming from around the room and Victor looks quite smug.

"It doesn't look much but it is incredibly filling" Ana says as she struggles with hers.

Victor nods, "it's the amount of protein in it; that is why I have always liked them, when I am facing a long shift I know it will keep me going" he says.

"What exactly is in it?" Elliot asks peering at his.

"The basic ingredients are the tortilla wrap, an omelette, cheese and bacon but the rest is a closely guarded secret, I have tried on many occasions to persuade the owners to tell me exactly what is in it but they never tell, but there are a number of other things involved in there" he says.

"This is very good" Christian says and he pops the final piece of his into his mouth.

The children have all had smaller versions and they are all struggling to finish them, I watch Mia's twins staring longingly at half eaten burritos in their hands and Aiden looks helplessly up at me.

"Uncle Gideon" he says tugging at my t shirt, a somewhat desperate look on his face.

I crouch down and wrap my arm around him, "What is it?" I ask.

"This is so nice I want to eat it but I just can't I'm too full" he wails.

I smile at him, "I know buddy, I think everyone is having the same problem, eat what you can but don't make yourself ill" I say.

Aiden admits defeat and wraps up the remainder of his burrito and reluctantly puts it in the bag with all the other rubbish.

Mia sidles up to me "What did Aiden say to you, I saw you two talking?" she asks me.

I smile, "he was lamenting the fact he really liked his burrito but just couldn't finish it" I explain.

She smiles at me and it is good to see her smile again, I wrap my arm around her. "How are you Mia... really?" I ask.

She shrugs, "I'll get through it eventually, it's still pretty raw at the moment, Ethan is heartbroken and he blames himself for the way he behaved… and if I am totally honest I blame him too, that is when I'm not blaming myself" she says sadly.

I pull her close, "Don't" I whisper to her, "Please, just don't it will destroy you both" I say.

She nods and then she smiles at me "so have you two discussed names yet?" she asks, changing the subject.

I shake my head, "we haven't really thought about it, I would like to include Michael somewhere for Josephine" I say.

Mia cocks her head to one side, "That's lovely, it would be nice if you could include Eva as well but I don't think your son would thank you for calling him Eva!" she says and giggles, then I see her face light up as though she has thought of something "but you could call him Evan it's close and everyone who matters would understand its significance" she says.

"I like that name" I say "thank you for that Mia" I hug her again and she hugs me back.

"You're welcome" she says.

After breakfast everyone starts to leave, Christian and all the Greys are heading to the airport and returning to Seattle and we all say our goodbyes.

Christian lingers and looks closely at me; "She'll be fine you know" he says to me and then looks meaningfully towards Denise, who is talking to Brett.

I nod at him and he slaps my shoulder affectionately, "I know but it's still hard" I say.

He nods, "I know, but just to reassure you I'll keep an eye on things – its only about an hour or so from Seattle to San Diego so I can drop in from time to time for you... if you want me to" he says.

I nod, "I appreciate that bro...Thanks" I say.

Christian hugs me once more and then he too leaves. It's only us left now, Zoe and Liv have disappeared to pack and I watch Brett make his excuses and leave, he shakes my hand before he goes, and I watch Nicky embrace Denise warmly, he tells her he will see her later and my breath catches as he says it, and I feel a slight hint of jealousy that he will get the chance to see her later.

Josephine appears by my side and grips my hand tightly, "Are you ok?" she asks.

I turn and instinctively place my hand on her swollen stomach, "I think so" I say.

"She will be just fine" she says looking up at me.

"I know that" I say. "I've been thinking about names" I say changing the subject just as Mia did.

Josephine looks surprised at the sudden change of direction.

"For our sons" I say and I stroke her stomach again.

"Oh?" she says "What did you come up with?" she asks.

I take a deep breath, "I want to give a nod to Michael so I was thinking Michael for one and for the other I was thinking Evan... Mia came up with that one as a nod to Eva, what do you think?" I ask and look at her anxiously trying to gauge her reaction.

Her face breaks into a huge grin "That is a wonderful idea, but I want them to be their own people, not be tied to a name of anyone else, but we could compromise and give them a new unused name for their first names and then use Michael and Evan as their second names, what do you think?" she says.

I nod, "I can go with that, did you have any names in mind?" I ask.

"I have a few I like she says, "I have a list at home I was compiling which I was going to show you" she adds.

"Alright, when we get home we will go through them" I say and I pull her close and kiss her.

"Gideon" she says.

I pause and look down at her, "yes" I say.

"I love you" she says.

I smile, "I know you do and I love you too, with all my heart" I say.

We are scheduled to leave after lunch, it will be late when we get back to New York but I want to stay as long as possible in California before I have to say goodbye to my daughter. It's a lazy day, but just before lunchtime I see Denise walking towards me, I am lounging on Victor's sofa checking my emails and dealing with a few business issues which have arisen.

"Dad" I look up and immediately close my laptop.

"Hello sweetheart, what do you need?" I ask.

"Can we go for a walk dad?" Denise asks.

I immediately stand and we walk out of the house side by side. "Where's Byron?" I ask.

"He's fine, he's with Josephine and Maureen, probably being spoilt!" she says with a grin.

I laugh at that comment and I hold out my hand, but Denise shuffles to my side and wraps her arm around my waist, I place my arm around her shoulder and we walk side by side in the small garden.

"I'm going to miss you dad" she says quietly.

I pause and squeeze her shoulders gently, "I will miss you too, more than you will ever know" I say.

"Dad, I need to do this, I need to make my own path away from New York" she says.

I nod, "I understand that" I say.

"But I didn't think it would be this hard to say goodbye" she says.

We stop walking and I tip up her chin and smile down at her, "but it's not goodbye Denise, its only goodbye if you never plan to see any of us again, and that isn't the case. You will visit us, we will visit you, we will call, Skype, Facetime and text you and you will call, Skype, Facetime and text us, if you need me at any time all you have to do is pick up the phone I will always be there, and I can be by your side as soon as humanly possible".

"I love you dad, I have put you through so much these past few years, I'm so sorry for everything I've done" she says.

I shake my head, "No baby girl don't think that, you did nothing wrong. You made a few mistakes but everyone does hell I have made more than my fair share in my life, let the past go Denise" I say.

She stares at me as I say this and I hold her by her shoulders and I speak from the heart.

"Denise I am immeasurably proud of you and what you have achieved, you are the strongest brightest person, you are compassionate and loving and I won't lie your absence will be a huge gap in my life. But this is your time Denise, your time to build your future and with the qualities you have I can see it being a very bright future indeed; you have your chosen career path which you know I will support you with in any way I can. You have your son who is a credit to you and you have Nicky who loves the bones of you. Don't let past regrets cloud any of that, you will always remember Josh fondly and rightly so, but don't let the other stuff encroach and influence you. It's over, finished, done, it's not relevant anymore. Your mom has gone but I'm pretty sure wherever she is she is looking down on you and is just as proud of you as I am. Landon and all his shit has gone, Janice and Hayley – gone. If you choose to allow Jodie into Bryon's life that is up to you and we will all support that decision. The problems you have endured and the mistakes you made as a result of those, are now in the past and you are making real progress with your recovery, you have Dr Travis at your disposal you have John Flynn as well should you need him, you are facing a future full of exciting opportunities and challenges, you are going to start college soon, you have Nicky at your side as your fiancé and he will support you and he will eventually become your husband. You are going to be a big sister to two little boys soon, and you will always be a big sister to Olivia and Zoe. We all love you dearly and yes we will miss you terribly but this is your time to shine baby girl this is your future and I want you to go out there and grab it with both hands and make the most of it!" I stop and I realise I am crying, so is Denise she flings her arms around me and holds me tightly.

"I love you daddy" she whispers, I kiss her head in a silent response.

She looks up at me, "You are the best dad anyone could wish for, you know that don't you" she says.

I smile but don't say anything. I still harbour the guilt for how I have behaved over the years leaving her to raise her sisters. She takes a deep breath and looks seriously at me almost as if she knows what I am thinking and that becomes apparent by what she says next.

"Dad, if you are going to say all that stuff to me, you need to listen to your own advice. The past is in the past, you need to let go of the guilt you are still hanging on to. It's pointless, you are not responsible for what happened, any of it - mom died and you grieved for her. You lost the woman who you thought of as the love of your life for god's sake you were bound to fall apart, but you got your act together eventually though and you have been my rock. I would never have got through the past couple of years if it hadn't been for you, and now you have a second chance at happiness, you have Josephine and you are going to be a dad again and you are going to get the sons you always wanted so _you_ need to grab that with both hands and _you _need to stop looking back on stuff that happened in the past and _you _need to forgive yourself because you did nothing wrong" she says.

I nod at her. "Oh and one more thing" she says with a grin, "you'd better keep me constantly updated on developments with you and Josephine and my sisters and you have to let me know as soon as my brothers are born or I will fly to New York and kick your ass!" she says.

I laugh "You have a deal" I say.

After lunch the time finally comes to leave, the drive to the airport is sombre and the atmosphere is heavy. Victor and Maureen have said their goodbyes and are watching as we all say our farewells. I watch as Denise hugs Liv and Zoe tightly and they whisper to each other, I don't listen as it is private between them. Zoe is sobbing and Denise is trying to hold it together while consoling her and reassuring her that she is only a call away. Liv is a little more stoic but she too looks ready to dissolve into tears at any moment. Byron is passed around and hugged and kissed. He looks confused but takes it all in his stride. I am happy to note that Nicky has come and although he is standing back and not getting involved with this highly personal time, I know that once we leave he will be there to support Denise.

Denise walks over to Josephine who is standing at my side, gripping my hand tightly. She swallows hard and Josephine lets go of my hand and embraces Denise warmly.

"You take care of yourself do you hear, and make sure you call regularly so we know everything is alright" she says.

Denise giggles and nods, "I will" she promises. Then she pulls away slightly and looks seriously at Josephine, she grips her hand. "I need you to do something for me too" she says.

"Name it" Josephine says without hesitation.

"I need you take care of my sisters for me, be there for them and love them as if you were their mom" she says and Josephine nods firmly.

"Consider it done" she says.

"Also," Denise continues, "I want you to take care of my dad, he's kind of special to me" and she pauses with a slight smirk and glances at me, "and finally, you need to keep me updated about your pregnancy and let me know how my baby brothers are and you need to let me know as soon as you know they are coming so I can get myself to New York so I can meet them as soon as they are born" she says.

Josephine nods once more and reaches for Denise once again, "I can do that" she says firmly.

Then Denise turns to me, "Well this is it then dad, you are finally rid of me!" she says with a false sense of bravado, I don't reply I just pull her towards me and hold her tightly.

"Be happy baby girl" I whisper hoarsely, "and don't forget to come and visit us once in a while" I say.

"Same goes for you, be happy dad" she says repeating my words back at me and she grins again, "and if you don't come and visit me I will be pissed!" she says.

With that we climb on to the plane at the top of the steps I turn to look and see Nicky has stepped up beside Denise and has his arm around her, he is holding Byron on his other arm and standing to the side are Victor, Maureen and Paul, I turn and enter the jet and take my seat, Josephine sits beside me and reaches for my hand. She squeezes it gently and I look at her.

"She will be fine" she reiterates.

I nod once more, I glance out of the window as the plane starts to move to taxi down the runway, Denise is waving at the plane and I automatically lift my hand and wave back even though I know she can't see me. I fasten my seatbelt and help Josephine fasten hers and within moments my plane is in the air taking us back to New York.

**oooOOOooo**

_Three months later..._

**(DENISE)**

I am having a blast! College is everything I hoped it would be and more. The first few weeks away from New York were hard, but Nicky and Dr Travis helped me adjust. Granddad and Maureen have been wonderful and I couldn't wish for a better life than the one I have now.

I am in a comfortable routine now, I text my dad first thing in the morning – just to say good morning and he texts back his reply. I go to college, granddad goes to work at the precinct and Maureen watches Byron for me, she insisted that she wanted to and although I protested that I didn't want to take advantage and that I was perfectly happy to put him in day care, she had told me that she liked having the quality time with her great grandson and that had totally blown me away that she thought of him as her great grandson and so I gave in and let her do it.

College is great, I am strolling through the work and my lecturers and tutors are immensely pleased with my progress, when I have finished college Brett or Nicky picks me up and drives me back home and then Nicky and I spend a few hours together with Byron, I get my chores done and then in the evening I Skype my family in New York. We alternate one day I call them and the next they call me. Weekends I spend with Nicky and Byron and sometimes Brett to give granddad and Maureen some alone time after all they are still newlyweds!

I have just put Byron to bed and I am due to call New York later for a Skype session with my dad and sisters so I check my laptop is fully charged.

As I do so I hear my phone buzzing and I quickly answer as I see it is my sister Liv.

"Hey Liv what's up?" I ask brightly.

"Dennie, dad asked me to call you, Josephine has gone into labour" she says anxiously.

"Oh, I thought they were going for an elective caesarean?" I ask.

"They were, they were booked in for the end of the week, but our baby brothers have other ideas, so you need to get your ass to New York now!" she says.

"Shit ok I'm on my way, I guess!" I say in confusion as to what I am actually going to do now, my phone pings signifying a text has come in and I tell Liv to hang on while I see who it is from, glance at it and see it is from Paul.

_**Josephine in labour, plane ready for you, waiting downstairs.**_

"Ok I'm coming... going, you know what I mean!" I say and I hang up without saying goodbye, "Granddad, Maureen!" I call as I hurtle out of my room.

I stop dead as I see Nicky standing there holding my jacket and purse and grinning at me. "Yes we know, everything is arranged just go. I'm here to take care of Byron. Maureen is going with you and Victor, Byron and I are following first thing in the morning, I love you - now go!" he says and he gives me a swift kiss.

I nod and fling my arms around him and kiss him hard before grabbing my jacket and purse from him. I thank him sincerely and quickly run through Byron's routine and explain that he is asleep at the moment; Nicky listens patiently and nods at me.

"Denise, he'll be fine with me - just go, and we'll see you tomorrow in New York" he says again, I hesitate and then after giving him another smacking kiss I run out of the house. Maureen is already in the car waiting and Paul is looking anxiously towards the house for me.

We arrive at the airport and I glance at my watch it's now nearly 9pm, where has the last two hours gone? I quickly calculate the travel time. Five hours flight plus an added three hours time difference we should be arriving in New York about 5/6am. I think for a moment and then look at Maureen.

"We need to try and sleep" I say and she nods at me in agreement and then I turn to Paul. "How long has all this been in place?" I ask.

Paul shrugs, Raul and I put the basic plan together, and it's been in place ever since you arrived in California. Raul got everything sorted in New York, and as soon we knew what was happening I called Nicky, we had everything ready to roll and if I say so myself so far it is all going to plan!" he says with more than a hint of smugness.

**oooOOOooo**

We land in New York just after 5.30. I am feeling ok after managing to get a reasonable amount of sleep not to mention excited about seeing my dad again and meeting my baby brothers. I wonder if they have been born yet, and if Josephine gave birth naturally after all. Raul has a car waiting at the airport for us and we head straight to the hospital.

I march up to the desk and we are quickly pointed in the right direction. We reach the private room and carefully I open the door and look inside, the sight that greets me makes me smile. Josephine is fast asleep and dad has a baby in each arm and he is gazing at them lovingly. He looks up and grins at me.

"Hi daddy" I say and my eyes immediately return to my baby brothers.

"Hey baby girl, come and meet your brothers" my dad says proudly as he looks down at the sleeping babies.

"Oh my god they are so tiny" I say, I am of course comparing them to Byron who was really huge, "Are they ok?" I ask nervously.

My dad nods, "they are perfect, we decided to go ahead with the caesarean birth anyway" he says and he glances at Josephine.

I put my hand out and look at my tiny little brothers they are both fast asleep. I turn and pull Maureen closer as she has been standing back, "Maureen come and meet your grandsons" I say, my dad looks up in surprise I don't think he realised Maureen was here as well.

"Hello Maureen" he says he glances around, "Is Victor here?" he asks.

She shakes her head, "Hello Gideon, no he's not - Victor, Nicky and Byron are flying in this morning" she says as she gazes at the little bundles.

My dad seems to come to his senses and starts giving us information, he moves his left arm gently and gestures his head to the baby sleeping on his left arm, "This is Finlay Michael Cross, he is the eldest by about a minute I think and he weighed 5 pounds exactly" he turns his head to the right and moves his right arm, "and this is Zachary Evan Cross, he weighed in at 5 pounds and 4 ounces".

"Good weights!" I say in surprise.

My dad nods in agreement.

"They are beautiful Gideon, how is Josephine?" Maureen asks as she glances at her sleeping daughter.

"She is pretty wiped out, as you can see but she is good, she has managed to feed them both herself a number of times during the night" Just as he says this one of the twins starts to wriggle and whimper and he opens his eyes. I catch a glimpse of the trademark Cross blue eyes and I smile.

"Well that's pretty conclusive - they have your eyes, this little guy has the bluest eyes I've ever seen" I say.

My dad smiles and nods, "They both have astonishingly blue eyes they are like lasers I thought yours were blue when you were born but theirs are something else" he says. The twin who was whimpering escalates into full blown screams and Josephine immediately stirs and opens her eyes, she looks astonished to see me and Maureen and gasps in surprise.

"Oh mom, Denise when did you get here?" she asks.

"Relax Josephine, we haven't been here long" I say.

Maureen hugs Josephine gently and tells her she has two beautiful sons. My dad leans awkwardly towards Josephine and moves the squawking baby to her.

"Finlay is hungry again" dad says with a grin, and moments later Zachary starts to cry as well.

"We'll give you some privacy" I say and we go to leave. My dad nods and I watch him fussing around Josephine placing pillows around her and positioning the babies.

"Where will you be?" he asks as he glances at me over his shoulder.

"We'll head back to the apartment and come back later with Liv and Zoe" I say and my dad nods again.

"Alright" he replies and he suddenly turns and reaches for me. I immediately step closer and wrap my arms around him and kiss his cheek, "Congratulations dad" I whisper in his ear. I feel suddenly very emotional to be within his protective embrace again.

I pull away and give Josephine a quick hug and whisper a word of congratulations in her ear and then we head back to the apartment.

**(GIDEON)**

I am just finishing work for the day, it's been hard the past couple of months, I am missing Denise and Byron terribly but she is doing well, really well and the relief of that is enough for me. We have our own little routine now and I wait anxiously every morning for her good morning texts and I find myself checking my phone if she leaves it a little later than normal.

I glance at my watch, shit its nearly 10pm I shake my head, I have been getting everything to a point where I can leave it, as Josephine is scheduled to have the babies at the end of the week and I want to take time out to be with them. I have just about got everything sorted and can happily leave the company in the hands of my team.

Raul is waiting for me outside the Crossfire and I climb into the waiting Bentley. I have always had a Bentley getting the latest model at regular intervals. I settle into my seat and my phone buzzes. I pull it from my pocket and glance at the screen and smile its Josephine.

"Hey baby, I'm sorry I know it's late" I say as I answer.

"Gideon where are you?" she asks anxiously and panic immediately surges through me at the tone of her voice.

"I'm in the car on my way home. As I say I'm sorry it's so late but I am coming home now, why?" I ask.

"Ok, how far away are you?" she asks.

I glance out of the window, "traffic is ok so I'd say fifteen minutes tops" I say.

"Ok, can you ask Raul to hurry please" she says.

"Baby what's wrong?" I ask.

"Please don't panic, but my waters have just broken and I appear to be in labour" she says calmly.

"SHIT" I exclaim and I sit bolt upright. Raul glances at me through the rear view mirror, "Raul step on it Josephine is in labour" I snap, he nods and we move quicker I also see him making a call on his hands free.

"Paul, Raul here it's time" he says simply and then hangs up he makes another call and I hear him arranging a plane what the fuck is he doing? Then it all falls into place, he is arranging to bring Denise to New York, he must have had it all planned.

I arrive at the apartment and burst in through the doors. Josephine is sitting on the sofa Olivia is sitting beside her and she is holding her hand. I see the relief on her face when she sees me. I am immediately on my knees in front of Josephine and I place my hands on her lap.

"Are you ok? Are you in pain? Talk to me baby" I say.

"Dad calm down, the contractions are coming but they are a long way apart at the moment, I called the hospital and Dr Henderson is waiting for you" Liv says before Josephine can reply.

I nod, "Ok come on lets go" I say, I spot the packed suitcase and pick it up and help Josephine to her feet. I turn to Olivia, "Thank you sweetheart" I say gratefully and she just smiles at me.

"Don't mention it dad" she says.

"Zoe" I say suddenly.

"Don't panic dad, just go, I'll take care of Zoe. Andy and Davis are here as well I called them" she says and points towards the kitchen I let go of Josephine for a moment and hug Olivia tightly.

"Thank you" I say.

"Dad, just go will you" she says.

I smile at her, "Ok we're going, I'll keep you informed... oh can you call Denise and let her know" I say and she nods and flaps her hands at me impatiently gesturing for me to just go.

"I will, go dad!" she says. She looks directly at Josephine and smiles, "Good luck!" she whispers to her and Josephine returns the smile.

"Thank you Liv" she says and then grips my hand as another contraction hits her.

Raul is waiting with the car door open and I help Josephine inside, I glance at Raul and he is texting furiously he glances at me and closes the car door and climbs into the driver's seat.

"Sir, a plane is on standby at San Diego airport for Denise and Paul is handling everything from his end, they are scheduled for take off at 21:15 hours – that's California time obviously so ETA here in New York I would estimate at 05:15 hours our time" he says.

I nod gratefully, "Thank you Raul" I say.

We arrive at the hospital and just as Josephine is getting out of the car another contraction hits her and I grab her and hold her to me as she grips me tightly as she breathes through it.

"Come on baby" I say gently as she relaxes and I slowly lead her into the hospital. Dr Henderson is waiting and we are taken to a private room, Dr Henderson puts a monitor on Josephine's stomach and examines her.

"Ok its very early days, you are approximately 4cm dilated if you want to proceed with the caesarean we still have plenty of time to get you to theatre and get it done" she says.

I look at Josephine questioningly, "What do you want baby?" I ask.

She nods, "I think I'd like to proceed with the caesarean" she says, she pauses and looks up at me, "am I taking the easy way out?" she asks.

I shake my head, "No baby, you do whatever you want" I say.

"Mrs Cross, I wouldn't say a caesarean is an easy option it is major surgery but in the case of multiple births it is recommended as it helps to reduce the chance of complications" Dr Henderson says.

Josephine nods, "I want to keep my babies safe" she says and puts her hand on her huge swollen stomach.

Dr Henderson nods, "Let's go then" she says.

We are moved into a bright operating theatre and after I quickly change into scrubs I return to Josephine and watch as people start to arrive. Dr Henderson quickly explains the relevance of all the people present, "each baby has its own paediatric team" she explains.

The anaesthesiologist arrives and smiles widely; he quickly inserts the epidural needle. I am sitting beside Josephine gripping her hand tightly as we wait for the anaesthetic to take effect.

A screen has been erected in front of us and we wait.

"Ok then shall we get this show on the road?" Dr Henderson says calmly.

I nod unable to articulate any words at all, but Josephine mutters a quiet yes.

"Ok then, Mrs Cross can you feel this?" Dr Henderson asks looking carefully at Josephine.

"Feel what?" Josephine asks and Dr Henderson smiles.

"Ok then that's what I wanted to hear, let's get these babies born" she says.

"Are you ok?" I ask Josephine.

She nods, "It feels very strange, a sort of tugging sensation deep inside me" she says.

I can't help it, I stand and glance over the screen my mouth drops open at what I see, Josephine's stomach is cut and Dr Henderson 's hand is disappearing into the incision then I see her hand reappearing and being pulled out with it I see a baby, I stare unable to tear my eyes away.

"Ok baby Cross number one, as expected a little boy" Dr Henderson says as she holds up the baby for me to see clearly. I feel my knees buckle and I sit down, "Finlay is here" I say and Josephine nods.

I hear a buzz of activity and talking and then Dr Henderson speaks again "and here is baby Cross number two and again as expected another little boy" she says holding up another baby. "Zachary is here now" I relay to Josephine.

Dr Henderson looks at me, "Are you going to cut the cords Mr Cross?" she asks.

I let go of Josephine's hand and take the scissors with a shaking hand and I cut the link between my wife and my twin sons. Tears are pouring down my cheeks and I follow the babies over to where they are being cleaned, weighed and checked. I try and take in everything I am being told, and then I hear Josephine's voice.

"Gideon, are they both alright, can I see them?" she asks.

I go back to her and kiss her gently, "Baby they are both perfect" I say, "They are just being cleaned up and then you can hold them" I promise.

I go back and a nurse places one baby into my arms, "This is baby Cross number one" she says, "Finlay" I say and she nods and writes his name on the paper work and on his little wristband before attaching it to him. I take him over to Josephine and she holds out her arms, "This is Finlay - your eldest son" I say and place the baby into her arms.

"Hello Finlay, I'm your mommy" Josephine says gently and she starts to cry, "Oh my god Gideon he is beautiful" she says.

Another nurse hands me Zachary and I tell her his name and she writes it on his wristband and attaches it to him and I take him over to meet his mother.

"And here is Zachary" I say I watch as she manoeuvres Finlay so she can accept Zachary as well and I place him on her other arm and quickly take Finlay so she concentrate on Zachary.

"This is like pass the parcel" I say with a grin.

"We will soon be experts at it" Josephine says as she gazes at her second son.

"Hello Zachary I'm your mommy" she says and once again she starts to cry.

I gasp as Zachary opens his eyes and gazes up at his mother.

"Just look at those eyes" I say.

Josephine smiles, "You can't deny him Gideon I would recognise those eyes anywhere - those are your eyes!" she says.

I look down at Finlay and he has opened his eyes and he too has the astonishingly blue eyes exactly the same shade as his brother.

"I would never deny my sons" I murmur as I gaze at my eldest son.

Soon it is all over, the placenta has been delivered and Josephine has been stitched up, and we are moved into our own private room.

I am feeling overwhelmed at the speed everything has happened, Eva gave birth naturally to the girls and although there was the drama surrounding Denise's birth Olivia and Zoe's were reasonably straightforward and they took hours. I am pulled from my thoughts by Josephine speaking to me.

"Gideon, help me" she says.

"What do you need?" I ask gently as I sit down beside her.

"I want to feed my son's" she says as she glances at them they are starting to get restless and cry.

I stare at her blankly; I have no idea how she is going to do this.

"Ok" I say, I pause, "let me get someone to help us" I say after a moment. I step out of the room and grab the first nurse I see and lead her into the room explaining what we need to do.

"Hello, Mrs Cross you want to feed your twins?" she says brightly and Josephine nods.

"I'm just not sure where to start" she says.

The nurse smiles again "It can be a little daunting at first with multiple births but you will soon get into a routine. It is best to feed them simultaneously as that keeps them on the same schedule more or less and as I'm sure you can appreciate that makes sense" she says. Josephine nods and glances helplessly at the babies.

I watch as the nurse fetches a couple of pillows, "it can be tricky to begin with till you get the hang of it and it may require an extra set of hands to manoeuvre the infants on and off the breast" she glances at me as she says this, "and you may need help to position them correctly. Some women find that a nursing pillow provides added comfort and support for arranging babies at the right height, but regular pillows can serve the same purpose" she says as she places the pillows down in front of Josephine.

"Mr Cross if you could help by bringing over the babies" the nurse says, I immediately lift Zachary from his crib and place him on the pillow and then fetch Finlay. I watch carefully as the nurse positions the babies and goes through the different feeding positions.

"Ok there are a number of ways you can do this, for newborns the football hold is the easiest I think, especially for you having had a caesarean birth. Ok you hold the babies' heads in front of your chest, with their bodies extending back. Your hands support their heads and your forearms support their bodies. Depending on the babies' size, their legs may fall under or outside your arms. The football hold works especially well with newborns as it provides support to the babies' wobbly heads and as I said it is also recommended for moms who delivered via caesarean section, because it positions the bulk of the babies' weight away from the site of the incision while it's tender and healing".

I watch carefully as the nurse helps the babies to latch on which they do quickly and successfully Josephine smiles up at me, "Look Gideon" she says her delight is infectious.

"I can see baby, you are a natural" I say. I sit down beside her and wrap my arm around her, sharing this intimate and tender moment. The nurse continues to explain other feeding positions and I watch as Josephine listens carefully.

"I think I like this way it feels right" she says she turns to me, "And you will help me won't you Gideon?" she asks.

"That goes without saying baby" I say and I press a kiss to her head.

The nurse smiles "I'll leave you to it then, just give me a shout if you need anything else" she says and she walks away.

"Thank you" Josephine says to her gratefully.

"I am so happy, thank you" I whisper to Josephine as I watch her feeding my sons.

She turns and looks at me, "Gideon I am the one who should be thanking you, you have helped me realised my dream, I always wanted to be a mom and you have given me that opportunity" she says. She giggles a little and then adds "But as usual you had to be an over achiever and go over the top about it!"

I hold my hands up, "That was nothing to do with me, I don't think so anyway I don't think there are any twins in our family" I say. I frown as I think of my mother and Joel Cross, I quickly dismiss them from my mind, but it gets me thinking about my family.

"Ok I think they are done, what do I do now, we need to wind them don't we?" Josephine asks.

I smile and nod as I lift one of the twins into my arms. This part I am familiar with and I gently pat his back until he gives a satisfying belch "We do that" I say with a smile, I wipe his mouth and after glancing at his wristband I speak to him. "There is that better Finlay?" I say.

Josephine copies what I have just done with Zachary and she gives me a panicked look as he spectacularly spits up as he burps.

I laugh, "Yeah they do that – wait till you see the projectile vomiting. Zoe was an expert at that one!" I say as I gently wipe away the vomit.

"Do we need to change their diapers now?" she asks.

I shake my head, "not at this stage, if you change them after feeding them it can make them sick, it's best to change them beforehand but they haven't done anything yet, we have the joys of the first dirty diaper still to come" I say and shudder at the memory of the meconium filled first dirty diapers.

"Do you think it would be an idea to express milk?" Josephine asks as she stares at her now sleeping sons.

I shrug, "That is down to you baby, if you want to, I am not going to protest if you decide you want to as I can then take a more active role in feeding" I say.

Josephine nods, "I think I want to feed them myself for a little while... see how things go" she says.

I nod. I pull out my phone and take some photographs of the twins and I put them in Josephine's arms and take photographs of her holding them. Then I take photos of them individually.

"Are you going to send some of those to family members?" Josephine asks.

I nod, "I am" I say.

"I quickly send a photograph of the two of them with a covering message;

_**Our son's couldn't wait for the scheduled caesarean! Meet Finlay and Zachary**_

I get messages back equally quickly from family members all giving their warm congratulations. I am not surprised when my phone starts to buzz.

"Christian!" I say as I answer.

"Congratulations bro" he says, and as he speaks I can hear a crying baby in the background and I smile.

"Are you being kept awake too?" I ask as I glance at my watch.

"I am and I am loving every moment of it" he replies proudly.

"How are Ana and the baby now?" I ask.

"They are both good, Ana is well – tired obviously and well... Dylan is perfect!" he says.

I smile, my brother is totally besotted by his baby son and my mind goes back to a few weeks or so ago when we got the news that he had been born prematurely…

_I am just debating whether or not to take a break I stand up and stretch it's 3.30 in the afternoon and I have my next appointment in 15 minutes, as I am debating whether or not to have another mug of coffee my phone rings and when I see it is Christian I quickly answer._

"_Bro!" I say by way of greeting._

"_I have a son" Christian says his voice filled with emotion and shaking slightly. _

_I nearly drop the phone; "He's early" is the only thing that comes out. I quickly pull myself together, "Is he ok?" I ask "and Ana?" I add cringing at my total lack of coherent communication._

_Thankfully Christian knows what I am trying to say. "Yes he is early, Ana is fine… now she is anyway, she was a bit upset when she went into labour which was understandable… she was terrified that she was going to lose him and the fact we are at this late stage it really got to her, but she's fine now" he says. "As for my son he's holding his own, he is in an incubator but they gave him a shot to mature his lungs and he is a fighter, he is a good size as well considering how early he is, he weighed nearly 3 pounds I'll send you a photograph" he says._

"_So what have you called him?" I ask._

"_Dylan" Christian replies, "His full name is Dylan Raymond Grey" he says._

"_Dylan? Where did that come from?" I ask._

"_Ana liked it after he was born she just came out with it she said that she had been considering various names even though she didn't know what we were having, and I liked it too, Raymond is for Ray of course" he says._

"_Ray will be stoked about that" I say kindly._

"_He is – I've just called him and told him" he says. "Have you guys settled on names yet?" he asks._

"_Pretty much" I reply, for the baby who is born first we have decided on Finlay Michael Cross, for the second one we are torn between Zachary and Harley but his second name will be Evan, so we are nearly decided" I say..._

I am pulled from my memories back to the here and now.

I talk for a few moments longer and when I hang up Josephine hands my sons to me. She looks beat.

"Why don't you try and get some sleep you must be tired and sore" I say gently. Josephine nods and settles down into the bed.

"I think I will" she says.

It's not long before she is fast asleep and I am left holding my sons I stare down at them marvelling at them, they look exactly the same and I try and look to see if there are any differences at all. I smile as I find a small birthmark behind Zachary's left ear, Finlay doesn't have one.

I can't stop staring at them, they are so tiny. I have no idea how long I sit here for, they wake again and Josephine immediately wakes with them and I help her feed them, we change the first dirty diapers which Josephine stares at in shock and for the rest of the night apart from periodically when they wake up to be fed I sit with them in my arms just staring at them while Josephine sleeps, I know this is probably a stupid thing to do on my part as I am going to be sleep deprived for months to come but I can't help it.

My son's! I can't believe this has actually happened, I think about my daughters I love them with all my heart and wouldn't change them for the world but I have sons now as well. Pride fills my heart as I consider the possibilities of having two sons. I think about Byron he will have two playmates roughly his own age to play with I smile as I consider the fact that my sons have just been born but are uncles already and have a nephew who is a year older than them! I wonder what the time is; it must be late... or early.

My attention is drawn to the door as it carefully opens, I look up and my breath catches as I see my eldest daughter standing there, and I realise that she must have come straight from the airport.

I smile widely at her as I take her in, she looks well.

"Hi daddy" she says and then glances at her baby brothers. My breath catches again and my heart lurches as she speaks and I swallow hard.

"Hey baby girl, come and meet your brothers" I say proudly.


	50. Chapter 50

CHAPTER 50

_Three years later..._

**(DENISE)**

I am standing in my bedroom I glance around me this is the last time I will be here after today, there is a blur of activity going on around me but I am lost in my own thoughts. It has been six months since I graduated college. In two weeks time I am moving back to New York as I have a job there. I have managed to get an entry level position within the prestigious advertising company Waters Field and Leaman, I will be working for one of the senior advertising executives as his new assistant and I can't wait.

I know that is where mom worked when she first met dad and the idea of working where my mom once worked appeals to me as well as being close by to my dad in the Crossfire building. Dad is overjoyed to have me back in New York and Nicky is beyond proud of me. Nicky Kline, I smile as thinking about him reminds me of the activity going on around me, today I am getting married, I will return to New York with my husband as Mrs Kline. I am also beyond proud of my husband to be. He is a successful musician now recognised throughout the United States. He has had a number of hit albums and he always says that is down to me as I am the muse for most of his songs.

I look up at my sisters getting ready and I smile, Liv is all grown up now too, at 19 years old she has graduated High School and is now at college, she is following in dads footsteps and goes to Columbia and her plans haven't changed she is still going to work for dad at Cross Industries with the intention of taking his place one day. My gaze moves to Zoe and I smile at my baby sister she is 14 years old now and she is the creative free spirit of the family still deeply into her art she is the most calm and laid back person I know but as she grows up I see glimpses of the no nonsense 'tell it how it is' characteristics both Liv and I inherited from our mother from time to time. The door bursts open and three mini tornado's rush in.

"Mommy!" I smile at my son, Byron who hurtles towards me.

"Dennie!" my baby brothers yell as they follow Byron in. Everyone turns and smiles at the sudden invasion.

"Hi guy's what are you all doing here?" I say and I look down at my twin brothers, they don't answer but just grin at me.

I sweep Byron up into my arms "What are you doing here, shouldn't you be with daddy?" I say.

He nods "I'm the best man" he says proudly.

I nod, "I know you are darling, but that means you need to be with daddy, not coming here to me" I say.

Byron nods, "daddy sent me here, because I am best man, daddy sent me" he protests.

"Ok, why did he send you?" I ask in confusion.

He struggles to get out of my arms and I stand him on his feet, my brothers' dance excitedly around him watching him as he delves into the pocket of his trousers and produces a scrap of paper and hands it to me.

"Daddy told me to bring it" he says.

"Thank you" I say as I take it from him.

"You have to read it now" he says, "Daddy said so" he adds.

I smile and unfold the crumpled piece of paper, and read it.

_Dennie baby,_

_Today you are making me the happiest man alive, I just wanted you to know that, that is all._

_I love you with all my heart._

_Nicky xx_

I smile at the soppy message, he is so romantic he does this regularly, he leaves little messages around the house for me to find, sends little texts to me and other gestures, like when he sends me song lyrics for songs he is writing. I can imagine him writing this message and telling Bryon to come and deliver it to me, probably telling him it was his job to do so as best man. I shake my head at the thought.

"Thank you Byron, go and tell daddy thank you... and stay with him" I say and he nods and with that he disappears from the room. I watch him go. I had originally questioned and fought against Nicky's plan to have Byron as his best man, at four years old I thought it was hardly appropriate but Nicky had persuaded me that Byron was the obvious choice and he had assured me he would have his father Brett on standby overseeing everything. I look at Finlay and Zachary who are still here grinning up at me.

"What do you two want?" I ask.

"Nothing" they reply in unison. It kind of creeps me out the way they do that, they will say exactly the same thing at the same time, but I love these two little guys dearly.

I watch as they walk over to Zoe, they are closest to her and I smile as I watch her play the protective big sister towards them. Josephine comes rushing in looking worried and looks around, relief flooding her face when she sees Finlay and Zachary.

"Here you are!" she exclaims and they both turn to look at her.

She smiles at me and shakes her head, "I give your father one thing to do and the moment his back is turned they evade him. Watch the boys for five minutes while I get ready I said, I get ready and go and find them and your father is talking with Brett and Christian and the boys are nowhere to be seen!" she shakes her head in exasperation.

"Calm down they are fine they can't go far here" I say. Josephine nods and to be fair I understand her paranoia, she knows they are prime targets for all the sicko's out there, because of who our dad is, we grew up with that hanging over us and now it's their turn, and I have the same fears for Byron.

"Fin, Zac come on lets go" Josephine says firmly and I watch my baby brothers reluctantly leave Zoe and go with their mother.

"They are a scream, dad and Josephine have their work cut out with them" Liv says to me as they go.

"I know" I agree. "It doesn't help that dad is so over indulgent with them, he lets them get away with murder" I say.

"What did Byron want?" Liv asks me.

"Nicky sent him with a note" I say and I show Liv the message.

She reads it and smiles, "God it's sickening how much he loves you!" she says.

I laugh, "I love him just as much" I reply.

Liv nods, "I know you do, Dennie? Erm... do you ever think about Josh?" she asks.

I nod, "Of course I do, I have Byron as a constant reminder of him, he is his double in every way, but I also know Josh would want me and Byron to be happy and not live in the past pining for him and Nicky Kline makes me happy it's as simple as that" I say.

"Dennie" Liv says again.

I look at her, "What is it?" I ask.

"Nothing bad, I just wanted to say, I'm really glad you and Nick are planning to come and live back in New York again, it will be good to have you close by again" she says.

I hug my sister "Thanks, but you won't give me a second thought once you get back to college" I say.

"Ok is everyone ready to roll?" we turn at the voice and see Aunty Ireland standing grinning at us. I squeal and throw myself at her.

"You made it!" I say.

She laughs, "Do you seriously think I would miss my niece's wedding day?!" she says with a grin. "Here this is for you" she adds throwing a small bag at me, I look inside and see a pale blue garter, I blush and thank her.

I smile at her. She looks really well now, she has been through a messy divorce recently and it took its toll on her. I shudder at the memory of her turning up in tears on the doorstep a year ago with her daughter Holly. She had left in the middle of the night and taken a commercial flight out of New York and came here fleeing across the country to get away from her husband Gareth. I had called dad immediately and he, granddad Chris and Christopher had descended upon us as well. It turned out Gareth was being abusive towards Ireland, it had started slowly he had become more and more possessive and controlling then apparently one day shortly after she had had Holly she had gone out with her alone to do some shopping, when she got back he went ballistic at her because she hadn't told him where she was, she had told him that if she wanted to go out that was up to her and he had hit her. She didn't said anything to anyone as he had been so remorseful and promised he would never do it again, but inevitably he did do it again - numerous times and it got gradually worse and worse, until she realised she had to get away, she had suffered alone for a further two years not telling anyone what she had been going through before she finally got up the courage to leave. With hindsight I knew something wasn't right, Aunty Ireland was always so bright and bubbly but her entire personality changed she became quiet and withdrawn. I had wondered at the time if she was suffering from Post Partum depression, but I didn't like to say anything, now I wish I had as perhaps she would have got away sooner.

Dad and Uncle Christopher were naturally furious and threatened to kill Gareth, and granddad Chris was angrier than I had ever seen him, Ireland had sat and told us everything, and pleaded with granddad, dad and Uncle Christopher not to do anything stupid. Granddad Victor had given her advice what to do and told her she must press charges and he assured her she could stay with us as long as she liked. Ireland had called Aunty Mia and told her what had happened and where she now was, which meant Uncle Christian had found out and he had immediately flown down to California to see if he could help. By all accounts dad, Uncle Christopher and Uncle Christian went to confront Gareth and although nobody said anything I'm pretty sure he didn't leave that confrontation unscathed, and all dad would say was he had been persuaded to divorce Ireland. He had done so, but then tried to claim half of what she had but dads attorney Arash soon put a stop to that and he got upset and it all got very, very unpleasant for a while, but now she and Holly are free of him and they are rebuilding their lives, they moved to Seattle and stayed with Mia and Ethan until they got on their feet and they now have a new life in the North West.

"I'm so glad you are here" I say as I hug her again.

"I flew in with all the Grey's" she says.

I smile I know they all took her under their wing when she moved to Seattle and Grace once again stepped in and took on the role of surrogate mom to someone else. That leads me on to thoughts of Elizabeth, dad had called me late one night not long after I moved to California - soon after I started college to tell me that she had suddenly died, he as next of kin had been contacted regarding her death.

It was natural causes, a heart attack by all accounts. I asked dad if he was ok and he had said he was absolutely fine and that he felt nothing but relief that she was finally gone out of his life. If I am honest I had no feelings either way, she meant nothing to me I didn't meet her until I was twelve and every time we did come into contact it was negative so I dismissed her death without much thought.

Dad paid for her funeral and everyone had rallied around to support him through it but he appeared to be as indifferent as I was about her, I found it quite ironic that the whole family was out in force for the funeral of someone they all despised but not one of them were there for Elizabeth they were there purely for my dad.

There is a knock on the door, "Are you all decent?" comes a familiar shout.

I glance around and grin "Yeah we're good, come in Uncle Christian!" I call.

The door opens and my uncle stands there grinning at me. He holds open his arms and I run to him.

"Hi" I say as I wrap my arms around him.

"I have something for you" he says and delves into his pocket and pulls out an envelope and hands it to me.

"What's this?" I say.

"Your wedding present from me and your Aunt" he says with a smug grin.

I am immediately suspicious, as he is renowned for going totally over the top.

I stare at him and then back at the envelope which has Mr & Mrs Kline written on it in Uncle Christian's neat handwriting, "Thank you, I'll open it later after the ceremony - with Nicky" I say after a moment and he nods at me.

"I was hoping you would say that" he replies and I see the relief on his face and I now know immediately that he _has_ gone over the top in some way and he thinks if I open it with Nicky I won't over react about it as much.

He gives me swift kiss on the cheek and says he will talk to me after the ceremony, he tells me Aunty Ana will be with me shortly to say hello. Just as he is about to go Aunty Ana appears holding the hand of a small copper haired boy who stares up at me.

"Dennie" he shrieks and pulls away from Ana and he hugs my legs tightly.

"Hey there Dylan how are you?" I say as I pick up my young cousin.

He grins at me and wraps his arms around my neck, I hug him back I have a real soft spot for this little guy. Uncle Christian prises him off me and puts him on his shoulders, Dylan grins and holds on to his father's head.

"Come on buddy, Denise has to get ready, let's go and find Fin and Zac" he says. He leans forward and kisses Ana softly before he leaves with Dylan and I smile they will never change, their love is just so pure. I turn to Aunty Ana and hug her tightly.

"Hello Denise, well this is it!" she says smiling kindly at me. "Are you nervous?" she asks.

I think for a moment, "Actually... no I'm not, I know I am making the right decision so no I'm not nervous at all" I reply. Phoebe appears and throws herself at me greeting me exuberantly.

"About time!" I say "Go and get ready" I add pointing to the bridesmaid dress hanging up waiting for her.

Aunty Ana says hello to Liv and Zoe and then leaves us alone. Everything is going to plan as far as I am aware. I look out of the window and see people leaving to go to the hotel where the ceremony is being held. I catch a glimpse of Nicky he looks so smart in his suit and he has his unruly hair slicked back and tied in a ponytail. He is standing with Brett who also looks very smart he is holding Byron's hand and they are surrounded by people, my dad is there talking animatedly, Uncle Christian, Uncle Christopher, Ray, granddad Chris and Granddad Victor, suddenly Byron looks up and sees me then as one everyone looks my way, I smile and wave and they all wave back. Nicky tries to blows me a kiss but Brett and Uncle Christian bundle him away and I start to laugh at them. I watch as slowly the fleet of cars leaves taking everyone to the hotel, leaving my dad alone on the sidewalk he glances up at me and then makes his way inside.

Moments later there is a knock on the door, "Can I come in?" my dad calls from the other side.

"Yeah I think so" I say.

The door opens and my dad walks in "Ok everyone has gone to the hotel, Jason will be back shortly to take the wedding party, then Raul will arrive to take us" he says.

I nod at him. "Are any of Nicky's family here?" I ask. I know he doesn't see his brothers or his sister much, and they aren't a close family. I mean no family is quite as close as ours but the Kline's are definitely not close.

My dad nods "They have come for the ceremony and they are at the hotel now, I have met Nick's mother and she seems nice, we were introduced she's very nervous about him marrying you. I think she's scared he will get swallowed up by us, but I tried to reassure her and Josephine talked to her as well, she seemed to get on quite well with Josephine" he says.

I nod understanding immediately, "It's the money thing, it intimidates people, not to mention the fact our family is rather large and so tight. I mean you don't just get one you get the whole lot and it's quite intimidating and a lot to take" I say.

My dad nods. "His brother Kyle and sister Rosie are here, but I didn't see his other brother – Toby. His mother said he was in Australia apparently filming some kind of documentary – he is in television programme making or something according to Brett. He was invited but nobody expected him to come, he keeps himself to himself by all accounts" he says.

I nod, a few moments later the door opens and Jason Taylor stands there smiling, and I watch as my sisters' file out of the room and as they pass me they hug me and wish me luck.

I glance out of the window and see them climbing into Uncle Christian's Audi with Josephine. I turn to my dad, "Where are the twins?" I ask.

"They went with Christian and Ana, they were playing with Dylan and it just seemed easier to keep them all together" he says and he shakes his head.

I laugh at his expression but have no sympathy for him, "You've brought it all on yourself you know, you spoil them, you let them get away with murder" I say with mock sternness.

My dad laughs, "I know, Josephine says much the same thing to me" he says.

"Hell you and mom never let us get away with half they do!" I add with slight indignation and he just shrugs.

"So this is it then" my dad says after a moments silence, his whole demeanour has changed he is serious now. He steps closer and touches my cheek.

"I am so proud of you" he says quietly.

I shake my head, "Don't dad, you'll make me cry and we don't have time for me to redo my makeup" I say.

He smiles at me, "Alright but a word of warning, have a tissue ready when I do my speech ok" he says.

"Oh god dad, if you are going to embarrass me in front of everyone I will never speak to you again" I say and I grin at him.

"I'll take the risk" he says and then he glances towards the window, "Raul is here are you ready?" he asks.

I nod, "I am, take me to my fiancé!" I say and I wrap my hand round his arm.

"Before we go" he says, and stops and reaches into his inside pocket and pulls out a small box and hands it to me. "This is for you it was your mother's… I bought it for her after she told me she was expecting you, it seems appropriate I give it to you today" he says.

I open the box and inside there is a delicate little platinum broach in the shape of a flower, it is encrusted with diamonds and it is absolutely gorgeous. I gently take it from the box and pin it to my dress.

"This can be my something old!" I say "thank you daddy, I will treasure it" I add.

"Do you have something new, borrowed and blue?" he asks.

I think for a moment, "Erm... I hadn't really thought about it until now, but new... well that can be my wedding dress, blue..." I grin, "Aunty Ireland gave me a garter earlier and that is blue" I say. My dad rolls his eyes at this, I frown, "but I don't have anything borrowed" I say. My dad delves into his pocket and pulls out a clean laundered handkerchief and hands it to me with a shrug.

"The best I could come up with, you can borrow this" he says.

I stare at it then at him and a huge grin fills my face as I take it from him, "Thanks dad, I'll be covered if my nose starts dripping!" I say sarcastically but another part of me thinks I will probably need this handkerchief when my dad does his speech later.

We arrive at the hotel and I can hear the buzz from the room where the ceremony is going to be held, I chose the same hotel Granddad married Maureen at. We are all waiting to go in, I watch as Josephine goes in and then Liv, Phoebe and Zoe go in as the music starts to play. I smile as I hear it, it is the traditional music for them but I picked something special for me to walk down the aisle to.

There is a pause and then I hear Nicky's beautiful voice there are audible gasps from inside the room and I glance in and see Nicky go bright red. I chose the song Nicky gave me to walk down the aisle to, but it's not the finished polished version that was on his album, this is the raw version he gave me on the memory stick.

The lyrics go through my head as I listen to it and walk towards my fiancé.

_Girl, you are so lovely, _

_So special and so brave_

_Girl you've been through so much_

_I hate to see your pain_

_Let me give my love to you_

_Come on and let me in_

_Give my love a chance girl_

_I never will give in_

_Baby let me love you_

_I'll give you all I am_

_You mean so much to me_

_Come on girl, you know you can_

_Let me give my love to you_

_Come on and let me in_

_Give my love a chance girl_

_I never will give in_

_Girl I can't stop thinking_

_About what we could be_

_I want to give my life to you _

_Come and be with me._

_Let me give my love to you_

_Come on and let me in_

_Give my love a chance girl_

_I never will give in_

_Girl you know I want this_

_I give my heart to you_

_I'll wait as long as it takes_

_Because I know you want this too_

_Let me give my love to you_

_Come on and let me in_

_Give my love a chance girl_

_I never will give in_

As I stop in front of Nicky he shakes his head at me, "So that's why you wouldn't tell me what you had picked" he says.

I grin at him, "This is me here right now, giving your love a chance" I say.

Nicky grins at me, "You could have picked the finished version off the album" he grumbles.

I shake my head, "No this one means more to me" I say.

My dad places my hand on Nicky's and he gives him a meaningful look and I see Nicky nod at him. I roll my eyes as I see the interaction between them and then the ceremony begins.

As we step forward to stand in front of the minister, Byron appears and pushes his way in between us and grabs Nicky's hand. The minister looks at me and Nicky and then down at Byron.

"I'm the best man" he says proudly not to mention rather loudly and everyone laughs.

"I see" The minister replies with an amused look on his face.

Byron nods, "So I have to be here" he says earnestly.

I bite my lip trying not to laugh, I don't mind if Byron stands there. I glance at Brett who has just snorted with laughter and then at Nicky and he too is desperately trying not to laugh.

"Ok buddy, that's fine but here's the thing, the best man normally stands this side" he says pointing to his right hand side.

"Oh, ok sorry daddy" Byron says and immediately moves to Nicky's right hand side and grabs his hand again. "Sorry daddy" he hisses again as he settles himself at Nicky's side and once more there is a ripple of amusement throughout the room.

"No problem" Nicky says fighting to keep a straight face. He bends down and whispers in Byron's ear I don't know what he says, but Byron nods solemnly and runs his fingers over his mouth as though he is fastening a zipper.

By now Brett is shaking with silent laughter and has his hand over his face to try and hide it, Nicky is pulling all kinds of faces to try and compose himself and the minister has turned around to face the other way as he too is trying not to laugh.

"Ok then" the minister says eventually, "Shall we begin".

I realise this is our fault as Byron had stood in between us at the rehearsal and we hadn't thought to correct him and just let him stand there.

After the unorthodox start, the ceremony gets under way about half way through we have another moment where Byron steals the show. As we are about to say our vows the minister asks for the rings, I glance at Nicky… surely he didn't give them to Byron did he?

"Do you have the rings?" the minister says. Nicky turns to Bryon.

"Ok buddy you're up, it's your part so give the man the rings" he says pointing to the minister.

Byron nods and pushes his hand into his pocket and pulls out a small envelope and holds it up.

"The rings are in here, they're 'portant, so don't lose them!" he says seriously and I realise this is what Nicky must have said to him when he gave them to him. The minister takes them and nods solemnly as he tries not to show his obvious amusement.

As Byron watches the minister open the envelope and take out the rings he speaks again, "daddy put them in there so I wouldn't lose them and I didn't". Once again the ripple of laughter spreads around the room.

The minister smiles at Bryon and thanks him politely. "Thank you Byron" he says.

"You're welcome" Byron replies.

We are all struggling to contain our amusement and I glance at Nicky who has a wide smile on his face, "Ok buddy you've done your part now, remember what I told you" he says gently and Byron nods and grips Nicky's hand once again.

Nicky looks down, "Erm… I need my hand a moment buddy as I have to put the ring on Mommy's finger" he says.

Byron nods and lets go and as he does so Brett steps forward and offers his hand and Byron instantly accepts it but continues to watch us closely.

It's time for us both to say our vows. Nicky's, as I expected leave me speechless but he is a song writer so I was expecting something good.

He turns to me and he touches my cheek as he begins to speak. "Denise Christina Cross you are my world, I believe I have loved you from the moment I first laid eyes on you in that small cafe, I knew right there and then that there was something special about you, something that called to me on some level I had never experienced before. Never in a million years did I ever expect to stand a chance with you, but fate brought us together and kept bringing us together again and again, and who am I to argue with fate. Every time I saw you I fell more and more in love with you. Eventually you fell in love with me and the day you told me you loved me you made me so happy, that day I vowed that nobody would ever hurt you again. I would protect you and love you. So here I am in front of all your family and mine to promise you this. Denise, I swear to you in front of all these people here, that I will love you and only you for the rest of our lives. I will endeavour to be a good father figure to Byron and I swear nobody will ever come between us or hurt you, everything I am and have I give willingly to you – you own me baby, body and soul now until the day I die" he stops and his eyes are blazing.

I gulp and I fight to blink back the tears which are threatening to fall. I pull myself together and my voice shaking a little I say my vows to him. They are much shorter than what he said but I think they say everything I want to.

"Nicholas Bradley Kline" I pause and grin that is the first time I have called him Nicholas.

"You mean so much to me, you picked me up and patiently waited for me as I made my way through some of the darkest times of my life, and you never pushed or demanded you just waited until I was ready to accept your love. You have supported me and my dreams as I have supported yours, so here today I promise you I will always be by your side, and I will continue to support you whatever life throws at us. I will love you completely and faithfully for the rest of my life and I will always be true and honest to you and our love...Always". I stop and as I think about that last bit I realise it didn't really make sense and I blush but Nicky is beaming at me, he knows what I meant and that's all that matters.

Before we know it the minister is saying "I now pronounce you husband and wife, Nicky you may kiss your bride".

Nicky leans forward and cupping my face with his hands he kisses me softly. "I love you baby" he whispers.

I bring my hands up and grip his wrists "I love you too with all my heart" I say. That does it, he grabs me and pulls me close and kisses me with such searing passion I almost melt.

When he eventually pulls away we are both gasping for breath and he flushes slightly, "Sorry I got a bit carried away there" he says.

I shake my head, "No problem" I say.

We head to the dining room for the reception and I am holding on to Nicky's arm tightly.

"Nick!" I watch as Nicky freezes and then spins around towards the voice.

"Shit" he breathes as he sees a tall man walking swiftly towards us and his face explodes into the brightest most beautiful smile, this person clearly means a lot to him.

"Who is that?" I ask.

"My brother Toby" Nicky says fondly, as he steps forward to greet the man and I watch as he embraces his brother.

"Toby you made it, I thought you couldn't get?" he says.

The man shrugs, "Well I explained that my big brother was getting married. Filming was done so they took pity on me and let me go" he says with a shrug. They embrace warmly and Toby slaps Nicky on the back.

"Did you get to see all the ceremony?" Nicky asks and Toby nods but doesn't say anything. I am getting some odd vibes from him but I don't say anything as Nicky is clearly ecstatic to see him.

"Oh bro thanks for coming, you have no idea how pleased I am to see you. Come here Tobes, and let me introduce you to my wife". Nicky turns to me and my heart lurches at his words. His wife - that's me, I'm his wife.

"Tobes this is Denise. Denise baby this is my brother Toby" I smile politely and hold out my hand in greeting and Toby Kline stares at it then somewhat reluctantly takes it and greets me politely. Yep definitely some odd vibes! The introduction is interrupted by Byron who comes up and pulls on Nicky's arm.

"Daddy" he says urgently.

"What's up buddy?" Nick says as he focuses his attention on Byron and picks him up.

"I'm hungry" he complains.

"We will be all having some dinner real soon" Nicky assures him and then he turns to his brother who is looking a Byron closely. "Toby this is Byron, Denise's son… and now my son too" he says proudly. My breath catches at that, Nicky had made it clear to me that as soon as we married he was going to set the ball rolling to officially adopt Byron as his own.

I watch Toby's eyebrows rise as he looks at Byron and then at me. I don't like the look he gives me and I pull Byron from Nicky's arms.

"Come on baby boy lets go and leave daddy to chat to his brother" I say.

As we walk away I hear Toby say something. I don't catch what he says but I do hear Nicky speak and he sounds angry.

"Don't you dare Toby; it's not like that at all. Byron's dad is dead, yes he calls me daddy because I am the only father he has known but he also knows I'm not his biological dad, but that is irrelevant as I am that little boys dad in every possible way and it is a job I took on willingly and with my eyes wide open" Nicky says.

I set Byron down and we walk across the room and go and study the seating plan, I feel someone behind me and I turn.

"Aunty Jodie" Byron squeals and he flings himself at her and he hugs her tightly; she returns his hug and greets him with equal warmth and affection.

"Oh hi Jodie how are you?" I say. I glance around and see Byron disappearing back to Nicky.

"I'm fine, and thank you for inviting me. I think Byron stole the show though today" she says as she nods towards my retreating son.

I smile at the memory, "Yeah he did" I say.

"That was really a nice thing Nick did... making Byron his best man, giving him a role to play" she says.

I nod, "I realise that now, I fought against the idea to start with, I said it wasn't appropriate but I can see now what he was trying to do" I say.

Jodie nods and she touches my arm affectionately, "I'm so glad you are happy Denise you deserve it" she says and then she pulls me towards her and hugs me.

"Thank you, and thank you for coming" I say. With that she leaves me and wanders away. I stare after her; she has been good to Bryon. My fears were unfounded as she doesn't mean him any harm and she kept her word that all she wanted was to be his aunty. She has also been invaluable to me with the scrap book I am putting together for Byron about Josh, she has come up with photographs and things about him for us which she has willingly handed over for Byron, and instrumental in helping to make sure he has a good idea of who his biological daddy was.

I feel an arm around me and Nicky is back at my side, "I'm sorry about my brother" he murmurs in my ear and then he presses a small sweet kiss to my cheek.

I shake my head, "That's fine" I say a little stiffly.

Nicky pauses and looks at me closely, "I'm guessing you heard what he said as you walked away" he says carefully.

I shake my head, "Actually no I didn't, but I did hear what you said to him in response but it's fine" I say.

Nicky shakes his head and grips me tighter, "No, it's not fine and he had no right to say what he said. You should know it's not personal, he has trust issues – stuff has happened to him and as a result he thinks the worst of everyone. I've explained everything and he is sorry he jumped to conclusions" he says.

"What did he say to you?" I ask.

Nicky looks uncomfortable and shakes his head, "It's not important baby" he says.

I shake my head "it was important enough for you to defend me… and Josh" I say.

He sighs, "he made a smart ass comment insinuating that Byron's dad had left you high and dry and you were just using me as a dad for Byron" he says, "But I put him straight and he is sorry he thought that" he adds.

I nod "Ok" I say.

"Baby come on it's our wedding day, don't let my asshole kid brother spoil it" he says. I feel a hand on my shoulder I turn and see Toby Kline looking at me carefully. I immediately stiffen and square my shoulders and fold my arms defensively.

I glance around the room to see if anyone is watching and I immediately see Uncle Christian and my dad staring in my direction so I try and relax as the last thing I need is them coming over and getting involved. Nicky wraps his arm around me protectively and glares at his brother.

"If you are here to apologise get on with it, if not just go now. I don't want you upsetting my wife any further" Nicky hisses at him.

Toby holds his hand out to me, "I apologise Denise, I jumped to conclusions and made assumptions which were totally wrong and I sincerely apologise for my tactless comments they were totally out of line. I love my brother and I don't want to see him get hurt but that doesn't give me the right to behave like an asshole at his wedding" he stops and looks at me closely.

I cock my head to one side and study him closely. I really look at him, he has sad eyes - someone has hurt him and hurt him badly, and so I smile and I accept his handshake.

"Someone has hurt you and hurt you badly and it has coloured your view of life and relationships. Nicky told me what you said wasn't personal so perhaps we could start again?" I say.

He seems taken aback by my words and he glances at Nicky "alright" he says eventually.

"Good" I reply and I smile reassuringly at him, "My name is Denise and I love your brother with all my heart. I was about 5/6 months pregnant when Josh – my son's father was killed we were in a car and it was rammed by another car. Josh used his body to protect me from the crash and he took the full force of the impact, and as a result he died of his injuries whereas I escaped relatively unhurt. After Josh died his father was filled with grief and he blamed me for his son's death amongst other things and he pursued a vendetta against me it took me to a dark place and things happened as a result that I'm not proud of" I pause as I realise I am touching the scars on my wrists, Toby glances down and sees them and his eyes widen. I ignore the reaction and continue to speak "your brother put himself forward as a friend for me to turn to if I needed someone to talk to, I have never used Nicky and I made it clear when I first met him I was in no place to consider him any more than a friend as I didn't want to lead him on. I have never had any ulterior motive, my feelings for him grew from a basis of friendship and became more over a period of time. Nicky respects the fact I loved Josh and that part of me always will and that he will always be Byron's father. He is helping raise Byron but he is also making it clear to him that Josh was his dad". I stop as tears are threatening and I don't want to cry as I know if I do my dad and Uncle Christian will be right over.

"It's ok baby, you don't have to explain yourself you have nothing to explain and you have done nothing wrong" Nicky says gently, "Toby understands now, you don't need to do this" he says.

I look up at Toby and I see compassion in his eyes, "I am truly sorry Denise" he says, "and yes you are totally correct I have been hurt, I have been used by one partner, and cheated on by another and other things happened with a third which I don't want to go into, but suffice to say it left deep scars and I fail to see the positives now due to my experiences" he says sadly.

I shrug myself out of Nicky's hold and I embrace Toby. I feel him flinch violently and then freeze as I touch him. I can feel the panic coming off of him in waves. Oh god has he been abused in some way? I debate pulling away but I don't, I just stand totally still and let him get used to my touch so he realises I won't hurt him and very slowly he relaxes slightly and his arms hesitantly go around me.

"I'm sorry" he says again.

"It's ok" I reply.

I pull away and look up at him knowingly, "Later on at a more appropriate time you and I are going to talk Toby" I pause as his eyes widen once more. I touch his arm and he flinches again and I nod, "yes, we are definitely going to talk" I say.

I glance around, "But for now I accept your apology and I'm starving and we have a wedding reception to attend!" I say.


	51. Chapter 51

CHAPTER 51

Nicky leads me away from his brother and we make our way to the tables set up ready for our reception. It takes us a while as everyone wants to stop and speak to us and offer us their congratulations.

"Denise, how did you know something bad has happened to Toby?" Nicky asks me suddenly when we get a moment alone.

I stare at him; I didn't expect that, "So I was right?" I say.

He hesitates a moment and then nods, he leans closer and lowers his voice, "Look don't push it with him as he gets embarrassed about it, after all no guy likes to admit he was beaten up by a girl" he whispers to me, "But how did you know?" he asks again.

"What you said when you explained about him was my first clue, when you said he had trust issues and that stuff had happened to him. Then when I hugged him, he flinched really badly and then froze, I mean he didn't just stiffen he froze and I could tell he was terrified and then when I touched his arm again afterwards he flinched again really badly again" I say.

"He really is sorry for what he thought and said" Nicky insists.

I nod, "I know he is and I want to help him… I know people who can help him come to terms with what happened to him" I say.

Nicky wraps his arm around my shoulder and pulls me close and kisses me passionately, "you are a wonderful person, you do know that don't you, but just leave it because he won't thank you for it… he may be my brother but he's also a bit of an asshole" he says.

I shake my head, "Nicky he is hurting, that much is obvious he has obviously never come to terms with whatever happened to him. He is also your family, which now makes him my family and as such I want to try and help him" I say firmly.

Nick smiles at me and holds his hands up in a gesture of surrender, "Ok baby, do what you want, but I'm just warning you, don't be surprised or upset if he just throws it back in your face as he is a bit of a loner" he says.

We finally make it to the table and everyone starts to take their seats, I take my seat next to Nicky and my dad sits down on the other side of me I turn and smile at him.

He reaches for my hand and looks carefully at me, "Happy?" he asks me.

I nod, "I've never been happier" I say sincerely.

My dad nods and then leans in closer and whispers in my ear, "What was going on earlier with that guy and who is he?" he asks nodding discreetly towards Toby, his tone ominously soft.

I shake my head, "Nothing, that's Toby Kline he is Nicky's brother and there was just a slight misunderstanding but it's ok now, Nicky put him straight" I say.

My dad nods and seems satisfied with my answer.

"Granddad, Granddad!" My dad leans forward and looks towards Byron who is urgently trying to attract his attention, he is sitting on Nicky's other side and is leaning forward.

"Yes Byron what's wrong?" my dad asks.

"I'm the best man" Byron says proudly and he points at himself.

My dad takes a shot look at me and then smiles, "I know you are" he replies.

"I'm making a speak" he says proudly.

My dad looks confused for a moment and glances at me again, questioningly this time, "He means he is making a speech" I whisper and my dad looks surprised at that.

"Really?" he says.

Nicky nods and joins in the conversation, "Don't panic he just wants to thank everyone for coming, it won't be your typical best mans speech, but he asked me what a best man did and I told him… so he said he wanted to do it properly" Nicky says smiling indulgently at Byron.

"I will look forward to it" my dad says.

"Granddad are you making a speak?" Byron asks earnestly.

My dad smiles, "Yes Byron, I am" he replies.

Byron nods, "So is daddy, he said he would make his speak then it would be my turn" he says.

Nicky grins and shakes his head, "I think I've created a monster!" he whispers in my ear.

My dad hears this and raises his eye brows with amusement. "You think?!" he says wryly.

"He's so bright and precocious he would have been bored just watching things happen. He wanted to be a part of it and Nicky realised this, and why shouldn't he be? He is also an important part of today" I say quietly and my dad nods in agreement with that.

The meal goes without a hitch, it is delicious. I keep glancing nervously at Byron but he is behaving beautifully. Brett is sitting on his other side and between them Brett and Nicky are helping him with his meal. I smile as I watch Brett with him. He loves him as much as Nicky does. When the meal is finished, Nicky and I look at each other and the silent message passes between us and then Nicky turns to my dad.

"Mr Cross, are you going to go first with the speeches?" he asks politely.

My dad shrugs, "I don't mind, and will you please call me Gideon" he says.

Nicky grins "Ok... Gideon, I just thought it might be best if you go first, I mean… who is going to want to follow Byron?!" he says.

My dad smiles "Good point! Alright, I'll go first" he replies and with that he gracefully gets to his feet.

He taps his glass "If I could have everyone's attention" he says and the general hum of talking around the room ceases.

"I would like to say a few words if I may; first of all thank you all for joining us today to celebrate the marriage between Denise and Nick. I would like to welcome Nick's family his brothers Kyle and Toby, his sister Rose, his mother Helen and of course his father Brett who you all already know".

My dad turns to Nicky, "Nick I would like to officially welcome you into the family and thank you for how happy you have made my daughter. Everyone here knows my daughter has been through a tough time the past few years and I'm not about to dredge up what was an incredibly dark period for her, but I do want to talk about another dark time. It was dark time for all of us and I believe if it hadn't been for Denise we wouldn't have got through it as well as we all did. As most of you know, back when Denise was just twelve years old, her mother died. I was left a single father to raise three young daughters. Denise was 12, Olivia was 10 and Zoe was just 5 years old. I wasn't the father I should have been during that time. I reverted back to my old ways when I was a single solitary man. Living for work and I closed myself off away from the people who loved me and who desperately needed me. I told myself I was providing for my daughters, I attended school functions and played the part, but I wasn't there for my girls... not really, and at just twelve years old Denise saw I wasn't being the best parent I could be and she stepped willingly into that role for her sisters. Denise stepped up and she held the family together. She was not only big sister to Olivia and Zoe she took on the role of mom for them too and I let her do it; also, she never gave up on me. She was there for me taking on my role as parent when I should have been there for her. It's not a time I am proud of and I regret my behaviour and what I allowed to happen. I am so proud of all my children but especially of the way my daughters have turned out despite my neglect during that time. However, I know that the way they all are now is down to Denise and her love and care and I want to take this opportunity in front of everyone to give her the full credit she deserves for that. Denise kept my family from falling apart when I did just that. I fell apart and I will never be able to get back those three years that I lost with my daughters. Then she stepped up once again and gave me her unconditional support again when I met Josephine and she encouraged me to follow my heart and find happiness. She welcomed Josephine into the family and helped her adjust to a new and somewhat overwhelming and daunting lifestyle. I am honoured to be Denise's father and I know you will all agree with me that she has grown into an amazing young woman," he pauses and looks down at me.

I keep my eyes fixed on my glass as I can't bear to look up at him. I am fighting to hold back the tears, and if I look up I know the dam will break. My dad is talking from the heart and it's slaying me.

"Denise" he says gently and I know I have to look up. I glance at him and smile, but the tears also inevitable start to fill my eyes and roll down my cheeks.

"Denise, there aren't words invented which adequately describe just how proud I am of you and what you have achieved, despite everything that has happened. I know I tell you all the time I am proud of you and that I love you and you know and get sick of hearing how I crow about your achievements but I know you will make a hell of a wife to Nick and I hope he realises what a damned lucky man he is to have someone as exceptional as you".

My dad pauses again and clears his throat, the room is deathly silent at that heartbreakingly honest and intimate few moments and certainly _not_ run of the mill speech, "So having said all that, I would like you all to join me in a toast to the happy couple. Nick welcome to our family and I wish you both every happiness for your future to together, Denise, baby girl all I have ever wanted is for you is to be happy so the same to you – I wish you every happiness for your future as Mrs Kline. So if everyone could raise their glasses in a toast to Mr and Mrs Kline, to Denise and Nick!" he says.

The room responds "Denise and Nick" and then there is applause for my dad as he sits down.

"It's a damn good job you lent me this handkerchief" I whisper to him as I pull it out and dab my eyes and wipe away the tears that managed to escape. My dad just wraps his arm around me and presses a small kiss to my head.

Nicky gets to his feet, "Wow, erm... thank you for your kind words there Mr Cross... erm Gideon, and you don't have to tell me as I know just how lucky I am to have the love of this wonderful woman next to me. Ok then, to echo what... my father in law said" he pauses and grins at my dad.

"That really feels a weird thing to say... not to mention a little bit scary" he says and he dramatically shakes his head which produces a ripple of laughter.

"Thank you all for coming today and sharing our happiness, thanks to mom and my brothers Toby and Kyle and my sister Rosie for coming. We are not a close family, we never have been and compared to the tight family I am marrying into we are positively distant, but thanks for coming. Dad, I want to thank you for believing in me when I told you constantly that I loved Denise and that I was prepared to wait as long as it took for her to fall in love with me. You never told me to give it up; you never told me that I never stood a chance and that she was way out of my league which believe me, many people did. You respected and supported my decision to follow my heart and you quietly waited with me and gave me brilliant advice so thanks dad. I want to thank my father in law – Gideon and all Denise's family for welcoming me into what is a very close knit family. I know you had your doubts about me and my intentions but you gave me the benefit of the doubt and you have never made me feel anything other than completely welcome. But most of all I want to thank this beautiful woman for agreeing to be my wife, for not only making me the happiest man in the world for giving me the honour of being her husband but also for allowing me into her sons life and giving me the opportunity to be a father figure to him. You have given me your trust and your love and I swear to god in front of everyone here I will never to do anything to make you doubt the love and trust you have put in me. I love you baby" he stops as more applause rings out.

Then he smiles and glances at Byron before he speaks again, "Ok then, it is customary for the best man to make a speech at a wedding and our wedding is going to be no different, my best man has a few words that he wants to say to you all" he looks down at Byron and holds his hand out, "Are you ready buddy? It's time for you to make your speech, do you still want to say something?" he asks gently.

Byron looks up at him and nods and Nicky smiles indulgently, "Ok then".

Byron stands up and Nicky lifts him up onto the chair and wraps his arm around him. As he does this Byron looks at him once more and he looks anxious, Nicky immediately notices and tries to reassure him.

"It's ok buddy if you have changed your mind you don't have to do this" Nicky says.

Byron shakes his head adamantly, "No daddy, but I want to say more than thank you" he says in a loud stage whisper. This sends a ripple of laughter around the room.

Nicky smiles nervously and takes a shot look at me, but I'm no help I am just grinning widely at both of them. "Oh ok… well you say whatever you want to" Nicky says nervously.

Byron nods and smiles, he bends down and picks up his soda glass and grins at everyone, "To mommy and daddy!" he says holding his glass up copying the toast my dad made then he stops and takes a gulp of his soda, there is another ripple of laughter but he continues to speak totally unfazed by the fact everyone is focussed on him.

"Thank you everyone for coming" he says, then he stops and looks at me and then at Nicky, his expression turns very serious and he looks out at everyone, "I love my mommy she is the best mommy in the world" he stops and bites his lip, "I love my daddy too, he plays baseball with me and he lets me play his guitar, not his electric one though because it is too loud, just his normal one" and he smiles as he thinks about that, "mommy and daddy told me that daddy isn't my erm bi... bi..." he stops and glances at Nicky.

"Biological" Nicky whispers as he stands his arm wrapped around Byron to stop him falling off the chair he is standing on.

"Bile-lol-logical daddy, that means another man helped mommy make me, mommy told me that. The man who helped mommy make me was called Josh but he died, but I have a picture of him, mommy gave it to me and daddy said he wanted... he wanted to be my new daddy now and that he would always be there for me, but that I shouldn't ever forget that Josh is my daddy too even though he is dead. But daddy wanted the job to be my new daddy and I'm glad he wanted to be my daddy, because I love him very much. I love granddad too and grandma and Aunty Liv and Aunty Zoe and Fin and Zac and Granddad Brett and everyone because you are all my family and family is a good thing and family is 'portant, that's true because granddad always says family is 'portant" he pauses and looks at my dad as he says that, "and I love all my family" he adds then he stops and turns to Nicky, "That's everything I'm done now" he says.

Nicky hugs Byron tightly "That was a really good speech Byron well done and I love you too buddy" he says the emotion evident in his voice.

Byron turns to face everyone, "That's it that was my speak, I'm all done now" he says, and scrambles to climb down off the chair, Nicky immediately lifts him off.

With that the room bursts into applause and Byron sits back down looking extremely pleased with himself. My dad leans towards me and whispers in my ear.

"I'm glad I went first _nobody_ could follow that!" he says. I shake my head I can't say anything as tears are rolling unchecked down my cheeks. I am so proud of my son right this moment I feel my heart could actually burst. Yes he rambled a bit and repeated himself but he got across what he wanted to say loud and clear.

The reception continues and we have our first dance as husband and wife. Nicky holds me tightly to him and whispers in my ear, "I was floored by what Byron said" he says.

I nod, "He is a very smart little boy" I say. We continue with our dance and we talk about everything that has happened today and how happy we both are, a thought occurs to me as I remember the envelope Uncle Christian gave me earlier. "Uncle Christian gave me an envelope earlier, back at the house. He said it was our wedding present from him and Aunty Ana, I gave it to dad to take care of, but I want to open it before we leave tonight as I have this feeling he has gone completely over the top and I may need to kick his ass before we go on honeymoon" I say.

Nicky nods "No problem" he replies.

"Are you ok with where we are going on honeymoon?" I ask nervously.

Nicky nods, "I am, I think it's a lovely idea, It's November and although it's still quite warm here in California there may be some snow by now in Aspen, and it was very kind of your uncle to lend us his place for our honeymoon" he says.

I nod, "He knows that I love Aspen. When dad, Uncle Ray, Granddad Victor and Uncle Christian have their annual hunting and fishing weekends there we always went too and it's a place that holds lots of happy memories, plus it was where my dad married Josephine" I explain.

"Are you ok with leaving Byron with your dad while we are away?" Nicky asks.

I nod, "he will be happiest there, he will have Fin and Zac to play with and I know he will be safe and well taken care of" I say. The song comes to an end and my father strolls towards me and wraps his arm around me.

"I think it's time for the father daughter dance" he says.

Nicky grins and steps aside as my dad pulls me into his arms. "I picked a special song for us" he whispers to me.

"Ok" I reply.

I wait and then I hear a gentle melody of 'I loved her first' by Heartland. I gulp and shake my head, as fresh tears start pouring down my cheeks.

"I don't think I have any make up left, I have cried so damn much!" I say as I pull out dad's handkerchief again.

My dad smiles "It doesn't matter you are still beautiful" he says.

"So what are your plans then?" he asks as he spins me around the floor.

I think for a moment, "Well… we are staying here tonight in the honeymoon suite, thank you for that by the way. Then tomorrow we fly to Uncle Christian's place in Aspen for a few days. Byron is going to New York with you and then we will join you there. Are you sure you are ok with us staying with you till we find our own apartment?" I say.

My dad doesn't answer that but just smiles at me, "I have your wedding present here in my pocket along with Christian's" he says mildly.

I frown at him, and try to pull away but he holds me tightly "Daddy what do you mean? You paid for the wedding and you have given me so much you didn't need to get us anything else?" I say.

He raises his eyebrows at me, "I will give my daughter a wedding present" he says firmly.

"What have you done?" I ask suddenly suspicious.

"Well... you know how I bought that new bigger double Penthouse suite when the twins were born?" he says hesitantly.

I nod wondering where this is going.

"Well... I had the other one refurbished and completely remodelled it has been completely gutted and redone. It has been decorated and furnished and now it's yours and Nicky's, it's _your_ home" he says.

I gape at him in shock "You are kidding?" I say.

He shakes his head, "No I'm not" he says. The song comes to an end and I glance around for Nicky, our eyes meet and he walks over frowning slightly at my bewildered expression.

"What is it?" he asks and looks at me and then at my dad.

I quickly outline what my dad has just said to me and Nicky's mouth drops open. "I don't know what to say, but thank you seems a good place to start though" he says and he holds out his hand to my dad.

"You are more than welcome" my dad says.

He reaches into his pocket, and hands me two envelopes, "This is the deeds to the Penthouse from me and Josephine, it's all been signed over to you… it's all yours" he explains. I take it and then I look at the other envelope it is the envelope Uncle Christian gave me earlier.

Nicky and I stare at the envelopes in my hand. I open it and there it is the proof in black and white that my dad has given us a home. I shake my head I am speechless; I give back the deeds to my dad.

"Hang on to these and keep them safe for me please" I say and he nods and pushes them back into his pocket.

I open the envelope from Uncle Christian and I gasp as I pull out another set of deeds along with a photograph of a beautiful house in a mountainous setting. I just stare at it in shock. I feel hands on my shoulders and turn to see Uncle Christian standing behind me, Aunty Ana at his side and they are both smiling widely.

"We sort of lied to you" Uncle Christian says with a sheepish grin. "You won't be using my place in Aspen for your honeymoon - This is where you will be spending your honeymoon" he says nodding his head towards the photograph.

"It's your own home in Aspen, as we know how much you love it there so we figured it would be a good investment for you. You and Nick could go there whenever you wanted for breaks with Byron or alone. I have also engaged a housekeeper to take care of the place when you are not there and I am paying their salary so you don't need to worry about that" he says. He looks at me warily as he knows this kind of over the top generosity will earn him an ass kicking and he is waiting for my reaction.

I am completely speechless by this generosity and I stare at the picture, it is very beautiful. "You are so fucking over the top Uncle Christian it's unreal!" I say, and I shake my head he grins and I can't help but smile at his relieved expression, he really was expecting an ass kicking.

"I opened this tonight because I had this feeling you had gone completely over the top as usual and I was right. But thank you, I am completely blown away by this but that doesn't stop it from being far, far too much. Then again on the other hand you know how much I love Aspen and I'm pretty sure you were banking on that fact to save you from the ass kicking you deserve right now!" I say.

Uncle Christian's grin gets even wider and he simply hugs me. Nicky is speechless as well but he pulls himself together and stammers his thanks.

Uncle Christian shrugs, "Denise adores Aspen so I knew you both would appreciate it and it would be something you would get a lot of use and pleasure out of" he says simply as if buying a ridiculously expensive property as a gift is the most normal thing in the world.

I fling my arms around him and Aunty Ana, "Thank you so much" I say. I look at the photo once more, "It's a good job I opened this before we left, I would have died of shock if we turned up at a strange house tomorrow!" I say. I hand the deeds to my dad for safe keeping and he pushes them back into his jacket pocket.

My dad and uncle walk away and I turn to Nicky suddenly anxious, "Are you ok with all this... largesse!?" I ask.

Nicky shrugs, "I won't lie it takes some getting used to but what they do, it comes from a good place they do it because they love you" he says. He pauses, and bites his lip and I know there is something else.

"What is it?" I ask.

"I didn't want your dad to think I was only interested in you for the wealth your family have so I went to him a few weeks ago and insisted that his lawyer draw up a pre-nup which states that I am not entitled to anything should we ever split up… not that that is ever going to happen because I am never going to let you go, I love you too much" he says, he looks at me nervously.

"I didn't tell you because I didn't want to upset you, but you seem a little concerned after what your dad and uncle have done so I thought now was a good time to say something" he stops and watches my reaction carefully, "talk to me" he adds.

I shake my head, "I won't lie, I'm surprised and a little hurt you didn't discuss this with me, but I understand why you felt you needed to do it, my family is a lot to take in" I say. I think about it for a moment and then nod my head accepting what he said and letting it go.

I see Brett standing at the bar with a drink. He is talking with Ethan and Elliot. I nod towards him.

"I don't want your dad to feel like the poor relation either" I say.

Nicky shakes his head, "He won't, he knows he isn't in the same league as your dad and uncle, after all very few people are, but he has enough and he also knows that whatever he does for us will be appreciated just as much" he says.

Then he smiles "Which reminds me he gave me our wedding present from him shall we open it?" he says pulling a small box from his pocket.

I nod and Nick opens the box inside are two small keys I frown at them in confusion, but Nicky grins widely and he turns and shouts to his dad.

"DAD!" he calls.

Brett looks up and immediately excuses himself and walks over to us. Nicky throws his arms around him, "Dad you are a legend thank you!" he says.

I am still staring at the keys wondering what I am missing.

Brett looks at me and sees my confusion and he smiles, "I bought you guys a family car, its waiting for you in New York at your new home" he explains.

My mouth drops open again, "Thank you so much Brett that was really kind of you" I say and I give him a hug.

I dance with Uncle Christian, Uncle Christopher and Uncle Elliot I watch as Nicky dances with Liv, Zoe and Josephine and it makes me laugh when Aunty Ireland demands he dance with her.

"Hi" I turn at the whispered greeting in my ear and grin.

"Hello Aunty Kate, I am so glad you came" I say as I hug her.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world" she says.

"How are you?" I ask.

"I'm good, I have news for you" she says and she holds out her hand.

I grab it and stare at the engagement ring on her finger, "Oh my god you're getting married again, I knew you were seeing someone but I didn't realise it was that serious, is he here with you?" I ask.

Kate shakes her head, "No he's not, but yes I am very happy now. Elliot and I are better as friends, I realise now that he will never truly grow up and the problem was I tried to change him don't get me wrong he loved me, he still does in his own way and he loves the children but I don't think he hasn't got it in him to be completely monogamous but he is what he is" she says. "But enough about me, today is about you and I am so glad to see you so happy, and I wanted to make sure I managed to get a word with you before I went" she says.

"You're leaving already?" I ask.

She nods, "I am" she says. "I am going on a business trip tomorrow so I have to be up early" she explains, I nod in understanding; I know that she flies all over the country with her job at Kavanagh Media.

"Ok then well thank you for coming" I say and I hug her again, "and congratulations" I add.

Nicky sidles up and I quickly tell him Kate is leaving and he shakes her hand and thanks her for coming.

After Kate leaves Nicky wraps his arm around me and hugs me, "What's that for?" I ask.

"Can't I hug my wife?" he replies with a grin. Then he turns serious, "My mom wants to talk to you" he says.

I glance up and see Nicky's mom Helen standing a few feet away looking nervous. I smile at her hoping I reassure her and walk towards her.

"Hello" I say, I'm not sure how to address her, I know she has been divorced from Brett for years and I have no idea if she went back to her maiden name and if she did I don't know what it is".

"Hello Denise, I just wanted to welcome you into the family, and I hope you and my Nicky will be very happy" she says politely.

"Thank you" I say as I grab Nicky's hand, "we are very happy" I add.

She turns to Nicky, "Would you give me a few moments with your wife please Nick?" she asks.

He smiles, "Sure mom" he says and kisses her cheek. He squeezes my hand and then he wanders away and I watch him go.

She turns to me and smiles, "Don't worry, I'm not going to go all psycho mom on you, I love Nick dearly but he knows his own mind and I am prepared to accept his decisions regarding his life. I just want you to know that I am a little worried, your family is very... intimidating and I don't want my son to be swallowed up" she says.

I shake my head, "it won't happen" I say. "I agree my dad and Uncle Christian come across as quite intimidating but they are both good men, and they have beautiful hearts and I know I am biased but I'm not just saying that because anyone who meets them and takes the time to see past the wealth and status immediately sees it too. Not all of my family were born into the wealth our family enjoys. My step mother Josephine came from a very humble background as did my Aunty Ana – that's Uncle Christian's wife, and I'm sure you know the story of my Uncle Christian's origins. My dad also brought us up to be very down to earth, so your fears are unfounded" I say.

She nods at me satisfied with my response, she hesitantly steps forward and opens her arms, "I'd like to give my new daughter in law a hug" she says.

I smile and step into her arms, I am head and shoulders taller than her but I bend slightly and hug her warmly.

"That seemed to go well from where I was watching" Nicky says as he joins me a few moments later, and I nod in agreement.

"She was just worried about you, but I think I allayed her fears" I say. I glance up and see Toby. He is sitting alone nursing a drink and he looks kind of sad. I look at Nicky and he nods as he knows what I want to do.

"Go on, I know you want to do this, but please don't be offended if he throws it back in your face" he says.

I nod and after kissing Nicky gently on the lips I make my way over to Toby where he is sitting staring at his glass of bourbon. I am glad he is sitting alone, but he seems to have separated himself from everyone and everything. I remember Nicky's words, that Toby is a loner.

"Hi" I say as I sit down beside him.

"Hi" he replies but I can't help but notice his demeanour change as he visibly stiffens.

I sigh, "Look we got off on the wrong foot and I want to put that right, you are my brother in law now whether or not you are happy about it is up to you, but it makes you my family and I need to talk to you about earlier, I said we were going to talk and well… here I am" I say.

He looks at me carefully and nods but doesn't say anything.

I continue to speak taking advantage of his silence, "You don't have to speak – just listen, you have been hurt that much is blatantly obvious. Nicky told me you'd been in an abusive relationship" I pause as his head whips up and he looks at me defensively.

I hold up my hand, "Hey, I'm not judging you, violence in a relationship is wrong no matter who does it" I say firmly.

I bite my lip as he thinks about that and nods. "However, your reaction when I hugged you told me that it was much more that just being hit by someone, which is what you inferred when you said other things had happened which you didn't want to go into? " I say, his eyes widen slightly and I press on "I'm right aren't I?" I add then stop and slowly he nods.

I nod back, "I thought so, the way you panicked when I hugged you told me someone had been abusive towards you, now you don't have to accept what I am going to say, you don't have to say anything all I am asking is to just listen to me till I am done and then you can tell me to fuck off and mind my own business if you want to but I hope you don't because want to help you" I say and I wait, he nods again and I take that as a positive and continue.

"You deserve better, you are clearly visibly struggling with whatever happened to you and you deserve to be happy. I can try and help you to get over... no that's not the right words – come to terms with the issues you clearly have – my dad and uncle run a nationwide organisation called Ella's lodge for people who have been physically and sexually abused and they can put you in contact with professionals who can help you… if you want that" I say.

He shakes his head sadly, "Thank you, but no, how can I tell people that I was beaten up by a woman?" he says. I reach out and touch his arm; he flinches again but tries to hold himself in check.

"Nobody will judge you, there are many people who have been helped by Ella's lodge who have been abused by women, some of them have been abused by their own mothers and sisters, whatever happened to you was wrong no matter who did it and you shouldn't feel any shame about it because it wasn't your fault" I say. He stares at me his eyes wide and slightly fearful.

"What happened to you?" I ask quietly as I will him to confide in me.

He looks at me as though he is deciding whether or not to say anything and he lowers his head, he fixes his eyes on my hand on his arm, which I am keeping perfectly still so he knows I am not going to hurt him.

Then his face shutters and he shakes his head, "It doesn't matter" he says and he pulls his arm away.

I smile and nod at him, "Ok, fair enough but just know this… it really does matter and more importantly _you_ matter". With that I stand and go to walk away as I do so he looks up at me and I pause.

"She hit me, punched me, kicked me in my private parts, she threatened me with a knife once she said she would stab me, she hit me with a stiletto..." he stops and I sit back down again.

I don't say a word, I just sit and wait for him to continue in his own time and when he is ready. I am actually quite shocked he has said anything at all.

He takes a gulp of his bourbon, "she... I have numerous scars on my back, shoulders, chest and stomach where she attacked me with a broken bottle" he says.

I gasp in shock at his words. But try to hold steady, he looks at me sadly. "Nobody else knows any of that, Nicky knows she hit me a few times but that's all" he says.

He almost seems surprised at himself for divulging all that to me, he lowers his head further almost as if the shame is weighing him down and continues to speak "I was so ashamed, and with the other issues I have from being hurt emotionally and used by people. I haven't had any relationships for a long while - I just don't trust anyone, people frighten me so I have no friends and definitely no romantic relationships, but it was the physical violence which finished me, it broke me. I was brought up not to hit women so I never fought back and she took advantage of that" he says and I nod. "I hate being touched by women... it scares me, and it... it hurts" he says.

I immediately think of his reaction each time I have touched him and when I hugged him and now I feel awful.

"I'm sorry" I say, "I didn't know, I didn't realise that by touching you gave you actual pain".

He nods, "That's ok you weren't to know, the first time you touched me I was terrified and it felt like I was on fire as you embraced me and when you touched me, I panicked which makes the pain worse it's just a reaction to seeing a female hand coming towards me" he stops and shakes his head, "I don't understand why I have just opened up to you like this, I have just bared my darkest secrets to you and I don't even fucking know you when normally I don't trust anyone, I don't do that _ever _but you...you seem..." he stops and shakes his head again but then he looks up and smiles at me but his eyes are still filled with sadness. "Nicky is very lucky to have you Denise, he writes to me and for months he told me all about you and how he was pursuing you, I was so worried that you were going to hurt him when you finally became a couple I thought so many bad things about you, but I can see now that what Nicky said about you was right you are a good person… and you have no idea how hard it is for me to say that about you and acknowledge that fact when practically every part of me is screaming at me to not trust you, and I am so confused now as I am wondering if I have just opened myself up to more hurt by confiding in you and I'm fucking terrified now but then part of me thinks no I'm not" he says.

I stare at him and my heart breaks for him and the obvious turmoil he is in it is clear he wants to be close to someone but his ingrained fear that people are just going to use and abuse him make him too afraid to that leap of faith. Then a memory of what Uncle Christian once told me about Haphephobia, how it feels like your skin is burning when someone touches you comes into my mind and overrules practically everything else he has just said.

I think quickly for a moment, "Just wait here" I say, and I stand and scan the room, I spot Uncle Christian and go to him.

"Uncle Christian I need you a moment" I say pulling his arm.

"Ok what's wrong?" he asks as he obediently follows me, excusing himself from the conversation he is having with Uncle Elliot.

"You'll see" I say and I lead him over to Toby, "Toby" I say and he turns and looks a little shocked and once again afraid. "Toby, this is my uncle, Christian Grey, he will understand you more than you will ever know, you need to talk to him and trust him and tell him what you have told me... and it might be easier for you to talk to him as… well… he's not a woman. You _need_ to tell him everything because trust me he understands _exactly_ what you are talking about and he will know how to help you".

I pause and look at Uncle Christian, as I continue to speak to Toby "He knows what it's like to live with Haphephobia for years, due to physical abuse and he also has the scars to prove it" I say and Uncle Christian's mouth drops open and his eyes widen and his head whips towards Toby and I see the compassion flood his face, while Toby just gasps and stares right back.

"I'll leave you two to it, he _will_ help you Toby and I promise you, you _can_ trust him and he won't hurt you in any way. He will understand and he will know the right people to get you the help you need, just talk to him, please" I am almost begging Toby and he smiles and nods at me, I nod back and then go to walk away and Toby reaches for my hand.

"Denise, Thank you" he says sincerely, I nod and return to my husband. I glance around and see my uncle sit down next to Toby and lean towards him and I see them talking.

"What happened?" Nicky asks.

"He accepted my help" I say with a grin and Nicky hugs me tightly.

"You are one amazing woman, I was watching you two and I was astounded I haven't seen Toby talk to someone like that for so long... for years" he says.

I look up at Nicky, "He told me some pretty horrific stuff which he said he had never told anyone before, now I'm not going to break that confidence but you need to talk to him, he is so alone he doesn't trust anyone and after what he went through... all I will say is what he went through was much worse than you thought" I say adamantly.

Nicky listens to me and he looks carefully at me as though he is considering what I am saying. "Alright I'll do that" he says.

I wrap my arms around him tightly and press a kiss to his lips, "Thank you" I say.

Nicky hugs me back "Hey come on it's our wedding day, you should be happy" he says.

"I am happy, but hearing what your brother has gone through it was heartbreaking and I want to help him how ever I can" I say.

Nicky cocks his head to one side, "You are a complete mother hen aren't you? Your desire to take care of people and look after them is just your default setting" he says.

I shrug, "I just don't like to see people hurting, if I can help them" I say.

"Denise, Nick, congratulations!" I turn at the friendly greeting and my face lights up at the two men standing there.

Dr Flynn and Dr Travis are both smiling widely at me. I open my arms and throw myself at both of them.

"Hi thank you both for taking the time out and coming today" I say.

"I wouldn't have missed this day for the world" Dr Travis says kindly.

"Me neither" Dr Flynn says. He looks at me closely, "Is everything alright Denise?" he asks.

I nod, "With me things couldn't be better, but I think I know someone who could be in need of yours and Dr Trav's help, but I don't want to overwhelm him tonight by introducing him to you" I say glancing again towards Toby.

"This sounds intriguing" Dr Travis says.

I shake my head, "It's up to him to ask for the help, but I am hoping Uncle Christian will persuade him to seek it" I say.

The two men look up and follow my gaze to Toby and Uncle Christian still in deep discussion, Uncle Christian has his arm around Toby's shoulder and appears to be comforting him, Nicky takes a step towards his brother and I grab his arm.

"No please Nicky let him talk to Uncle Christian, he will be able to help him more than anyone" I say.

Nicky nods and moves back to my side. A moment or so later Uncle Christian walks towards us and shakes Dr Travis's hand and he then greets Dr Flynn, he murmurs something to them and all three head back to Toby. We watch as all four men discreetly leave the room. Nicky is almost beside himself by now.

"Denise what the hell did he tell you?" he asks.

I hesitate, "He described things and it sounded like Haphephobia to me" I say evasively.

"Haph...what? What the fuck is that?" he asks.

"It's a fear of being touched" I say, "he has a fear of being touched, more specifically a fear of being touched by women, he says when a woman touches him it feels like his skin is burning. That's how he felt when I hugged him, and it's because of the physical abuse he suffered at the hands of his girlfriend" I say.

Nicky frowns, and pulls me closer, "What did she do to him?" he asks.

I swallow and shake my head, "He told me…he said… he said that he had never told anyone what she did and he seemed shocked at himself that he had told me, so please don't make be betray that trust he put in me" I say.

Nicky shakes his head and his eyes soften, "baby you are my wife, and he is my brother, there is no betrayal... please" he says.

I think for a moment, "Ok but make sure you tell him you forced me to tell you" I say.

Nicky nods, "I will, he won't blame you I'll make sure of it" he assures me.

"He said... She hit him, he said she punched him, kicked him in his private parts, she threatened him with a knife and she hit him with a stiletto heel" Nicky's mouth drops open and he shakes his head, I watch as his hands ball into fists and he stares past me at Toby who is now surrounded by Dr Travis, John Flynn and Uncle Christian. I touch his arm, "but that's not the worst of it, he said that he has scars on his back, shoulders, chest and stomach from where she attacked him with broken bottle" I say. Nicky just gapes at me totally dumbfounded at what I have just told him.

I wrap my arms around him tightly. "He was ashamed, he didn't tell anyone because he was ashamed" I say.

Nicky wraps his arms around me and squeezes me, "So you got your uncle to talk to him...why him?" he asks.

I sigh, "Because Uncle Christian has scars on his back and chest from where he was abused when he was a toddler, he had someone – not a woman, who put lit cigarettes out on him, kick him across rooms, and punch him and he suffered with severe Haphephobia as a result of that abuse for years and he also believed for years that he was worthless, something which came across loud and clear from Toby" I say.

Nicky gapes at me, "you would never know, he seems so confident... almost arrogant at times" he says.

I nod, "Because he eventually got the help he needed and he got over it to a certain extent" I say.

Nicky grabs my hand, "I need to talk to my brother, Will you come with me?" he asks.

I nod, "I will but please wait, let him talk first to the professionals" I urge.

The next thing I realise Uncle Christian is next to us a serious expression on his face, "Nick your brother is asking for you" he says.

Nicky grabs my hand and Uncle Christian leads us out to an adjoining room. Toby looks up as he sees him, he has been crying.

Nick lets go of my hand and surges towards his brother, and hugs him tightly, "Tobes you should have fucking told me" he sobs.

"Toby buries his head in Nicky's shoulder and sobs bitterly.

"I'm so sorry, I have ruined your wedding" he says.

"Don't be stupid" Nicky says.

I venture forwards and Toby smiles at me, "I'm sorry I have ruined your wedding day with all my shit" he says.

I shake my head, "No you haven't. You've done nothing wrong. I am the one who has forced this and made all this come out now not you, and as far as I am concerned I haven't ruined anything, nothing at all, it's my wedding so I can do as I damn well please". I watch as everyone smiles at my reasoning and Nicky shakes his head and rolls his eyes.

"Well…Thank you, your uncle is going to help me, and so is Dr Flynn and Dr Travis" Toby says.

"I knew they would" I say and I grin at the three men who are simply standing and watching.

Toby turns to Nicky and points at me. "Bro never ever, _ever_ let this woman go!" he says firmly.

Nicky smiles and pulls me to his side, "Trust me I never intend to", he says.

The door opens and Uncle Christian is back along with Brett, and Helen Toby's mother, they both look ashen so I am assuming Uncle Christian has said something to them. Then he turns to me.

"Come on Denise let's leave Toby with his family, they have a lot to talk about" he says.

Nicky turns to me, "No stay" he says and grabs my hand.

Uncle Christian nods and leaves the room as he turns to go, Toby calls to him.

"Mr Grey… thank you" he says and Uncle Christian nods at him.

"Call me Christian... and remember that you have my number if you need anything just call me" Uncle Christian says and then leaves the room and shuts the door. I take a step back and stand with Dr Flynn and Dr Travis as Toby tells his parents and brother the full story.

There is a lot of tears, a lot of hugs and also from Brett and Nicky a lot of anger and it is focussed on the girlfriend. Brett wants to track her down but Toby said no and that he never wanted to see her again. I watch as the family rally together and support each other then they seem to remember me and Nicky leaves them and walks over to me.

"Baby, thank you" he says.

Toby joins him, he grabs Nicky's arm and reaches for my hand "right then I want you two to do something for me" he says adamantly.

We look at him carefully, waiting for his request.

"I want you two to go back to your wedding reception and I want you to enjoy the rest of your wedding day, and I want you to go on your honeymoon and have the time of your lives, then when you get back I will come and visit you both in New York - please do this for me" he says.

Nicky looks at him and nods, "You got it bro!" he says and hugs his brother again, then he turns to me, "you heard the man baby" he says.


	52. Chapter 52

CHAPTER 52

Nicky grabs my hand and we return to the main function room, he pauses before we enter it and he runs his hand down my cheek and presses a sweet kiss to my lips.

"You have blown me away today; most women would have just been focused on themselves on their wedding day but not you. You knew instinctively that something wasn't right and you put aside the fact today was _your_ day and homed in on it and you did what you could to fix it, you are an amazing woman and I am so fucking lucky that you agreed to be my wife" he says.

I close my eyes momentarily and lean into his touch but when I open them again I shake my head adamantly.

"No that's wrong, today is not just _my _day it's _our_ day. But you are right, I knew something wasn't right" I pause and grin at Nicky, "and my natural nosy over bearing stubbornness took over!" I say.

Nicky laughs and hugs me, "I see - nosy, over bearing and stubborn... jeez you could've told me about that before I married you, I'd better watch my step!" He pulls me close and kisses me passionately, his hands start to wander and as I respond to him the door opens and we both jump violently.

"Oops!" I turn towards the voice and see Aunty Mia grinning at us, "Don't mind me!" she says.

"Hi Aunty Mia" I say and I pull away from Nicky and hug her.

We talk for a few moments and then she disappears.

"We'd better go back inside or my dad will be sending out a search party for us" I say.

We head in and I hear Byron, "There they are granddad" I look and see Byron pointing and my dad makes his way over to us.

"Where have you been, what's going on?" he asks sharply and I see the worry on his face.

"Everything is alright" I say and then I lower my voice, "Can we talk about it later?" I add.

My dad stares at me and then gives Nicky a withering glance but nods. I see the look and I slap his arm.

"Hey Nicky has done nothing wrong" I say as I notice the filthy look. My dad's gaze immediately softens.

"I was worried" he says simply.

"Dad I will talk to you and tell you everything later but first I want to enjoy my wedding reception, ok?" I say.

My dad nods and smiles, "Sure baby girl" he says.

The reception is wonderful, everyone seems to be enjoying themselves and I know I am really happy. As I sit watching Nicky dancing with Holly I can't help but smile as he leads her round the floor, she is standing on his feet and it looks so cute. I perceive someone come and sit next to me and I turn to look and Grace is there smiling at me. I lean towards her and hug her.

"Hi Grandma" I say, "Are you having a good time?" I ask.

"Denise darling, it's been wonderful being able to share your wedding and seeing you so happy" she says.

"I am happy grandma" I say, I look towards Nicky, "he is the reason I am so happy" I add.

Grandma pats my arm affectionately, "He is a good man, I get that much from him every time I have spoken with him, I know in my heart that you two are going to be very happy" she says.

"Thank you, I know we are too" I say.

We talk for a while longer and Ray and Denise come over to join us. I stand and hug them both. As I do so Nicky rejoins us after his dance with Holly.

"Enjoy your dance dear?" I ask with a grin.

"Are you jealous Mrs Kline?" he retorts playfully.

I laugh, "She's too young for you" I say.

Nicky laughs and looks at Ray and Denise and he holds his hand out to Ray.

"Nicky, you remember Ray and Denise don't you?" I ask and he nods, and he has a slightly confused look on his face and I realise he is trying to remember who they are.

"Yeah... erm... you are Ana's dad and Christian's aunt – right?" he says warily.

Ray nods, "That's right son, and I am in the same position as you" he says.

"Oh? I don't understand?" Nicky asks as he sits down beside me.

Ray leans forward, "Annie isn't my biological daughter, I am her step father. Her father died the day after she was born so she never knew him and I raised her and I am the only father she has ever known, and today I have been watching you with that boy, how you are with him and you are doing a damn good job, you are a fine father" he says.

I watch as Nicky almost visibly swells with pride at those words. "Thank you Mr Steele that means a lot" he says politely.

Ray nods again, "Let me give you a word of advice son, as long as you are there for that boy and you love him and protect him and you treat him as though he is your own it is irrelevant that you didn't provide the DNA" Ray turns towards me and holds up his hand, "I don't mean that disrespectfully Denise, I know you loved Josh dearly and its right you tell Byron about who his father was, but it's this guy right here is who has taken on the job of raising him and being his daddy, just like I did for my Annie, and from what I've seen today he is going to be one hell of a daddy" Ray stops speaking and smiles at us both.

I am quite surprised by this as Ray is a man of few words. I look at Nicky and he has flushed, slightly embarrassed by the sudden unexpected praise. He pulls himself together and nods at Ray, immediately understanding and probably remembering my detailed explanation of our complicated family tree.

"I don't know what to say Mr Steele, it is very kind of you to say and think that" Nicky says quietly.

Ray waves his hand, "Call me Ray" he says.

Nicky nods, "Ray" he acknowledges, he turns to Denise, "and you are Christian's biological aunt – am I right?" He asks.

Denise smiles and nods at him, "I am, my late sister was Christian's biological mother and I helped to deliver him when he was born" she turns and smiles at me, "and I also delivered this young lady too when she decided that she wanted to be born a few weeks ahead of schedule, and Christian helped me, along with that other young man, Christopher" she says.

"And she saved my life" I say.

Denise smiles and waves her hand, "I just did what needed to be done at the time" she says.

We chat for a while longer and then Denise and Ray inform us that they are going to head up to bed as they are tired and have to return to Detroit tomorrow. I hug them and thank them sincerely for coming and Nicky politely thanks them as well. After they have gone Grace says goodnight as well and we are left alone.

Nicky looks at me, "How come she was there at Christian's birth but then he was adopted by Grace and Carrick, why didn't she take him when his mother died?" he asks.

I shake my head, "That is a long story! From what I've been told, when Ella that's Uncle Christian's mom found out she was pregnant with him, Christian's biological dad - Joel Cross dumped her, but she was also disowned by her parents, her dad was a bit of a tyrant to put it mildly, so Ella decided to raise Uncle Christian alone. Denise kept in touch with her in secret and was there when she gave birth, and by all accounts Ella was doing a good job of raising Uncle Christian until she met some guy who got her into drugs and prostitution, when she met him she lost touch with Denise and then the next thing the family found out was the fact she was dead, Denise and Ella's dad refused to have anything to do with Uncle Christian when they were approached by the authorities about claiming him after Ella's death and so he was adopted, but from what dad told me Denise searched for him for years without ever being able to find him as she had no idea where he had gone and who had adopted him." I stop speaking and Nicky shakes his head.

"How did they find each other again?" he asks.

"Erm... mom told me it was all down to fate, the guy who got Uncle Christian's mom into the drugs and shit, kept tabs somehow on Uncle Christian and when he became successful he tracked him down and he along with a couple of other guys who held grudges against Uncle Christian got together and sabotaged his helicopter, it crashed and Uncle Christian and Jason Taylor nearly died. They were missing for a while as nobody knew where it had come down, Jason was in a coma for a couple of days and Uncle Christian bruised his spine and he was temporarily paralysed, it was touch and go for a while whether or not he would ever walk again.

Anyway dad stepped in straight away and helped Ana find them and he sent a security team in to help get to the bottom of everything and find out how everything had happened, and there was a guy who worked for dad's security and he wanted to relocate to the North West and so while he was in Seattle helping with the crash and stuff Uncle Christian gave him a job, well this guy's mom was sick – that was why he wanted to relocate and Uncle Christian found out and paid for her to get treatment as a result she got a few more years. She knew about Joel Cross as her late husband worked for him and so she also knew he was Uncle Christian's dad, but she was always sworn to secrecy but after what he did for her she felt she owed it to him to tell him about where he came from. She gave him all the information she had on his biological parents, and it was from that, he found out dad was his brother, you see dad always assumed to that point that Joel Cross was his uncle and his dad was Geoffrey Cross, Joel's brother, but both men were dead and to try and validate or disprove the story Uncle Christian had been given dad offered his DNA to see if there really was a link to the Cross's, they were expecting it to come back that they were cousins or not related at all but instead it came back that they were half brothers, dad confronted his mom and she admitted she had had an affair with Joel and that Joel was his biological father, it also turned out he was sleeping with the two women at about the same time as dad and Uncle Christian are the same age give or take a few months, Uncle Christian was born in the June and my dad was born in the September of the same year. But back to the original story, when Uncle Christian got all this information he realised his biological mom loved him and tried to do her best for him so he went to Detroit where he had been born and went to find his mom's grave, it was a big thing for him as he had always blamed her, but after finding out the truth he wanted to make his peace with her so to speak, well fate stepped in again and I think the story went while he was at the grave Denise turned up to visit it as well and they met and well the rest is history" I stop speaking and Nicky shakes his head.

"It's really unbelievable how things happen" he says.

I nod, "Yeah, not only that but some really crazy shit came out about dad and Uncle Christian they found out loads of links between them that nobody could have guessed, and some of them linked in Aunty Ana too, and she was totally unconnected to both of them before she met Uncle Christian, it was like fate had bound them together but not one of them knew about each other until they met by chance and it all came out" I say.

"How did they all meet to start with?" Nicky asks.

"Mom told me that Aunty Ana was dating Uncle Christian, but they split up and she left him, he fucked up in some way and she walked. Well I'm not sure of the details but shortly afterwards Ana went to New York for some business convention or something with her boss at the company she was working for, and while she was there she had some down time and was doing some sightseeing and walked into my dad – literally as he was leaving the Crossfire. They talked and he helped her out with some shit that went down while she was in New York, and they became friends and kept in touch when she returned to Seattle. She then found out she was pregnant, she told Uncle Christian and he went ape shit about it, dad stepped in and offered to take care of her and the baby but she didn't love dad, and she didn't want to lead him on. Uncle Christian came around about the baby and tried to win her back… and well, they obviously got back together and Ana gave him another chance and they have been together ever since. But it meant my dad missed his chance but she stayed friends with him and he and Christian became friends too it was then stuff started to come out about all the links between them all and according to my mom it was one thing after another. Then mom appeared on the scene and mom and dad got together – that was a coincidence too how they all met each other, you see Uncle Christian met Aunty Ana when she went to interview him for the university newspaper, Aunty Kate who was her roommate at college sent her as she was due to do it but she was ill and when Ana arrived she tripped and fell head first into his office – Uncle Christian says that it was at that moment he fell in love with her. He always says, she fell into my office and into my heart, it's dead romantic when he talks about it, but then there's dad – well I think the first emotion that went through his mind when he met mom was lust pure and simple. By all accounts he was going to some meeting and he was in his car outside the Crossfire and he saw mom and he saw her go into the Crossfire, and he started thinking with his dick and abandoned his car and forgot about his meeting and followed her back into the Crossfire, he saw her helping some woman or something and she was crouching on the floor he walked up to her and she lost her balance and sprawled at his feet – she said he pursued her and he propositioned her really crudely he just came out and told her he wanted to fuck her and mom, well let's just say she didn't respond well to that. But he persevered, she relented and gave him a chance eventually and again the rest is history!"

Nicky smiles "That's amazing, you couldn't make that stuff up!" he says.

I nod, "Well look how we met that was all pretty random at the start. Who'd have thought that some guy who I walked into when I was staying in California would turn out to be one of mom's old flames, and then he would show up again and help me out when I was being harassed and threatened by Ryan Landon? Then you would come into the cafe we were sitting in to meet him and then pick him up from my grandfather's house after he was invited back for dinner" I say.

"When you put it like that" Nicky says and leans closer, "I guess we were always destined to be together" he whispers seductively in my ear.

As the evening wears on people slowly start to drift away. Practically everyone is staying here at the hotel, my dad has reserved all the suites on two levels for everyone and they all come and say goodnight to us before they head up to their rooms. Jason, Luke, Raul and Paul are still lurking around, they are all meant to be off duty and here as guests but it seems as though they can't totally switch off. However, Dad's security team who have been on duty have done a magnificent job keeping everything private and secure.

I dance again with my husband and it's a slow dance he pulls me close and I rest my head on his shoulder.

"Are you feeling tired? Nicky asks me.

"No, just enjoying the moment" I say and he smiles and leans down and kisses my head.

"So am I" he replies.

We sit down and Paul wanders over, I stiffen wondering if there is a problem, I stand up and wait for him to speak.

"Denise, I was wondering... if... I could have a dance with you?" he asks nervously.

I smile widely and relief flows through me that nothing is amiss. "Sure of course you can" I say.

I take Paul's offered hand and he leads me on to the dance floor.

"You look very beautiful Denise, Nick is a very lucky man" he says.

I smile, "and I am a very lucky girl to have him" I reply.

Paul leads me around the floor. I am quite glad for this moment with him as I haven't really had chance to talk to him about how he feels about the move back to New York.

"Are you ok about the move back to New York?" I ask.

Paul stares at me, "Of course, why shouldn't I be?" he asks.

"It's just you made that little house into a lovely home and you were so settled and happy there, and then you are being uprooted and have to move again" I say.

Paul sighs, "Denise, my job is to protect you and Byron, my job is to be where you are to keep you and Byron safe. So where you go, I go it's as simple as that" he says. "There will be changes made now that you are married, did your dad tell you that he has engaged a second CPO for Nicky?" he asks.

I shake my head, "No, does Nicky know about this?" I ask.

Paul nods, "He does, he was resilient at first, he couldn't see why he would need a CPO he argued that he was already a recognisable figure with his music and nothing had happened, but Raul and your dad sat with him and explained things to him when he was in New York visiting Vidal Records a few weeks ago" he says.

Why am I only hearing about this now? A horrible thought crosses my mind, "What does that mean? Oh god they didn't bully him did they?" I ask.

Paul shakes his head, "No, they just showed him the threat file" he says.

I shake my head, "Oh Jeez" I sigh. I remember the threat file, the series of box files with all the correspondence from weirdo's and sicko's that comes through on a daily basis threatening my dad and all of us, we get everything from death threats to marriage proposals. "How did Nicky erm... react to seeing that?" I ask.

"He was shocked of course but he was immediately more open to the idea of having a CPO. He asked a lot of questions, mainly about your security though and Byron's he was more concerned that you and Byron were safe".

"Was he?" I ask and I look toward my husband, who is watching me dancing with Paul.

**oooOOOooo**

Soon it is just Nicky's family, Uncle Christian, and my dad and sisters left; Byron is still awake and enjoying himself. I watch him he is like the energizer bunny! Dad, Josephine, my sisters and the twins are staying with Granddad Victor and Maureen, and Josephine and the twins left with granddad Victor and Maureen earlier on. Helen, Kyle and Rosie head off to bed and I wonder where Toby is as he hadn't reappeared again after we left him with Dr Travis and Dr Flynn.

As I am thinking this it's as if my thoughts conjure them up and all three men walk into the room. Toby looks completely different somehow, he looks shattered as though tonight has taken everything out of him, but in a strange way he also looks lighter as if a huge weight has been lifted from him. He walks over to Uncle Christian and shakes his hand warmly and I watch as they talk. He then turns and scans the room until he finds Nicky and he walks over and hugs him.

"I'm heading up to bed now bro, will I see you both before you head off on your honeymoon tomorrow?" he asks.

Nicky glances at me "I would think so, we are flying out tomorrow morning, I'm not sure what time the flight is – do you know baby?" he asks me.

I shake my head, "hang on" I say and I call over to my dad, "Dad do you know what time our flight slot is tomorrow for Aspen?"

He nods, "11am" he replies.

"Thanks dad" I say and turn back to Nicky.

"There will be plenty of time then!" Toby says.

"What are you doing now?" Nicky asks Toby.

Toby smiles, "I'm heading back home to LA, as I said earlier filming was complete in Australia so I am going there and waiting for everyone else to join us so we can edit the footage we have and get the show ready for broadcasting" he says. With that he bids us all goodnight and leaves the room. Before I can say anything else Byron appears and climbs onto my knee rubbing his eyes.

"Hey are you getting tired baby boy?" I ask him.

He nods and settles himself down in my arms. "Byron" I say gently.

He looks up at me his eyes drooping. I smile at him "Come on remember you are staying with Granddad for a little while" I say.

Byron nods at me, I glance over to my dad. He stands and walks over and takes Byron from me and lifts him into his arms.

"Come on let's get you to bed it's been a big day for you" he says gently.

"Night night baby boy" I say to him.

"Night night mommy" he replies.

Nicky strokes Byron's head, "sleep well buddy, and mommy and daddy will see you in the morning ok?" he says.

Byron nods again, "Night night daddy" he whispers and then he puts his head on my dad's shoulder and closes his eyes.

My dad looks meaningfully at me I know he is still waiting for me to tell him everything that went down tonight with Toby, so I turn to Nicky, "I'm going to walk my dad out I'll be back in a moment or two" I say.

Nicky smiles at me, "sure baby" he replies.

As soon as we are out of earshot my dad turns to me, "Talk to me, what happened here today?" he says.

I glance at Byron who is now sleeping peacefully, dad gently places him into Raul's arms and asks him to put him in the car, "I'll be with you in a moment" he says to Raul and he nods as he walks away with Byron.

Dad turns to me and folds his arms waiting for me to talk.

"It's a fucking mess dad, Toby is as messed up as you and Uncle Christian were" I say. My dad's eyebrows rise at this and he leans against the wall waiting for me to continue.

"When Toby arrived and Nicky introduced us he saw Byron call Nicky daddy and he made a smart ass comment insinuating that I was just using Nicky as a father for Byron because I'd been left high and dry and that I didn't really love him, Nicky went ballistic at him and told him about Josh and how he died and Toby felt bad and apologised to me".

"So he damn well should" my dad splutters.

I put my hand on his arm, "hang on dad don't jump to conclusions here" I say. "Well I just knew something wasn't right; I felt it you know. I accepted his apology and I hugged him well his reaction when I hugged him spoke volumes, he froze like he was panic stricken and he jumped a mile every time I touched him, so I said to him that we were going to have a chat at some point as I had this feeling that something had happened to him something bad, you know. Nicky and I walked away and I couldn't shake it from my mind I told Nicky I wanted to help Toby and he said to do what I wanted but not to expect anything from him and he said I may get my help thrown back in my face. Later on I got chance to speak to Toby and I laid out to him what I thought had happened to him and he just seemed to break down completely and he confided in me that he had had three relationships one he got cheated on, the second he was used and the third was abusive, and I don't mean he just got hit, he told me what she did to him… dad it was horrific, she threatened to stab him with a knife for god's sake. He said she punched and kicked him, she attacked him with a stiletto and he said that he has scars all over him from where she attacked him with a broken bottle and as a result of being shit on by people he doesn't trust anyone now, he has no friends and he said that it physically hurt him – he described it as feeling like he was being burnt when women touched him as he was so afraid of a woman's touch, well when he said that it reminded me of what Uncle Christian said once about how when someone touched him it felt like it burnt him. I fetched him to talk to Toby and well you know Uncle Christian, he got Dr Flynn and Dr Travis involved as they were here and they are all going to help him".

My dad stares at me, "He doesn't trust anyone and yet he opened up to you?" he says incredulously. I know that tone, my dad has taken against him because of what he said about me and Josh.

I nod, "Yeah I know I thought that was a bit weird, but he seemed as shocked about it as I was, I don't think he expected to say as much as he did. I think he was surprised that I realised something was wrong, and the fact I was spot on with my assumptions, well he didn't expect that".

"Be careful" my dad says after thinking for a moment, "I know he is Nicky's brother but he obviously has major issues which need resolving. I am proud of you for taking the initiative to try and help him, but just be careful" he says.

I nod, "I will dad and don't worry, I'm not stupid. But remember that Uncle Christian is a good judge of character and he warmed to him straight away and is doing everything he can to help him".

My dad looks happy with this and he pulls me into a hug, "I'm so proud of you, you are an amazing person, your mom would be so proud of you too" he says.

"Don't dad, I have cried far too much today as it is" I say as I hug him back. "Also don't repeat what I told you. I already feel as though I have betrayed the trust he placed in me" I say.

My dad shakes his head adamantly, "Well don't, he won't hear from me what you have said" he says firmly.

"Dad!" we both turn and see Liv and Zoe.

"Come on dad I think that's your cue to leave!" I say and I look up at him and smile, "and I would really like to spend some alone time with my husband" I add.

My dad holds up his hand, "Whoa far too much information!" he says. He kisses my head and I say goodnight to my sisters and hug them tightly and watch as they all walk away and climb into the car and I feel suddenly very alone that is until I feel a strong arm around me. I turn to find Nicky at my side.

"So it's just us now" he says.

I nod, "It is" I say.

"Hmm, what shall we do?" he says to me.

I sigh, "Go to bed I'm beat" I say.

Nicky stares at me, "I'm joking" I whisper.

He grabs my hand "come on let's go and use the honeymoon suite your father booked for us" he says.

When we get the room, Nicky opens the door and before I can move he swings me up into his arms and carries me inside, I squeal and burst into a fit of loud giggles.

"Sshh" Nicky hisses at me but he is giggling as much as I am. He carries me through to the bedroom and lays me on the bed. He stares at me for a moment and then climbs on the bed beside me.

"So Mrs Kline what shall we do now?" he asks.

I grab his tie which he still has hanging around his neck even though he has loosened it and opened his top button and I pull him towards me. I plant a decisive kiss on his lips, His hand immediately moves and he clasps the back of my head and his other hand pulls my body flush to his. I feel his arousal he is like stone and it excites me I wrap my arms around him and I kiss him greedily. I hear him moan and it just makes me all the more desperate for him. I pull away and tug at his tie and lift it over his head, and then I push his jacket off his shoulders. Nicky grins at me and helps me by shrugging out of it. I grab his shirt and start undoing the buttons and his hands run down the back of my dress gently undoing the zipper.

"Stand up baby" he whispers hoarsely and I stand up he walks behind me and pushes my dress off my shoulders and presses small sweet kisses to my shoulders and back, the dress slides down and pools at my feet and he runs his hands down my shoulders and then he moves them to my waist. He unfastens the corset I am wearing and then turns me around to face him.

"You are so fucking beautiful" he says.

Slowly and carefully he undresses me, I reach for his trousers and unfasten them, and I bend down and pull them and his boxer briefs down, I am confronted by his erection and I can't help myself I lean forward and place a kiss right on the tip. I hear Nicky suck in a sharp breath and I smile then run my tongue up and down the length of him, the strangled moan that comes from Nicky's mouth encourages me and I take him in my mouth and suck him hard.

"Shit Denise, no, I don't want to come in your mouth" he moans and he pushes me off. I stare at him in surprise; he normally loves me to suck him off.

He pulls me into his arms, "Baby, it's our wedding night I want to come inside you, I want to come making love to you not a blow job, not tonight, I want it to be romantic and perfect" he says.

"I think blow jobs are kind of romantic too" I protest and Nicky laughs.

"Maybe but I want to make love to my wife" he says.

The next thing I realise he has pulled my panties off and he lays me down on the bed, and he is straddling me and gently pushing my thighs apart with his leg. He settles himself between my legs and he leans down and kisses me so sweetly, so gently.

"God I love you so much Denise" he whispers against my mouth.

"I love you too" I say.

"I promise you I will love you forever" he says and he stares into my eyes as he says it. I nearly melt there and then. I watch as he reaches down and grabs himself and positions himself at my entrance. Then he leans down and kisses my breasts, he caresses them gently and rolls my nipples between his fingers, I gasp and my hips come up begging him to enter me, I feel him touch me and push a small way inside me and I gasp.

"Please Nicky, please I need you" I gasp.

"I need you too Denise, I will always need you. I love you, now look at me baby, open your eyes and look at me" he says.

I open my eyes and as they meet his he thrusts his hips and enters me, I grip his hair and gasp as I feel him, but he doesn't move and I stare up at him.

"I just want to feel you a moment baby" he says, "I want to feel you around me skin on skin this is going to be the first time we make love as husband and wife and I want it to be perfect, I want you to feel every inch of me and I want to feel every part of you" he says.

I nod and he kisses me again and as he does so he pushes further in, I wrap my legs around him and lift my hips up to meet his thrust and he starts to move. He moves so slowly its exquisite, I feel him inside me every last inch of him, and it is beyond erotic. He rolls his hips and he rubs against that bundle of nerves inside me as I meet him thrust for thrust.

"Oh god Nicky I love you so much" I gasp.

"And I love you too my beautiful wife" Nicky responds, he keeps pressing kisses to my face, neck and shoulders, his hands caress and kneed my breast and his rhythm starts to increase in speed. I move faster and he shifts slightly pushing my legs further apart so he can get deeper inside me.

"Every last inch" he murmurs in my ear.

"Yes oh god yes" I moan.

Nicky continues and I start to build slowly, I feel him thicken and lengthen inside me and the tempo increases as he chases his orgasm and now there is a rawness to our love making. Nicky moves faster and I meet him, we are both moaning and we can't stop kissing and touching each other as he thrusts harder into me. He starts to grunt with every thrust and I feel my orgasm building and building and then it hits me and I explode. I grip him tightly and my muscles quiver around him, I scream out his name and dig my nails into his back, he stiffens and a couple of thrusts more and he throws his head back calling out my name, I feel him come violently inside me. He empties himself and I feel the surge of warmth as he leaves his seed inside me. He relaxes and collapses on top of me, then his mouth finds mine and he kisses me relentlessly.

"Oh god baby that was more than perfect, that was... wow!" he moans and he rests his head on my shoulder, we are both panting we are both drained but most importantly we are both incredibly happy.


	53. Chapter 53

CHAPTER 53

I am sitting in the gorgeous bedroom of my new Aspen home, I have to pinch myself that this is all real and this is all really mine, I turn around and smile as I take in my sleeping husband. I'm not surprised he is still asleep after our lack of sleep last night due to the fact we are finding it very difficult to keep our hands off each other! Today is the first full day of our honeymoon and we are planning to take a walk down by the river today and explore the surrounding area.

I sit and process everything that has happened, in the space of 24 hours I have become a wife, the wife of a musician and the owner of two beautiful properties courtesy of my over the top, over generous and over indulgent father and uncle. My mind wanders back to our wedding and I unconsciously smile, it was a lovely day. I think about my son how he repeatedly stole the show. I am missing him so much already so I reach for my phone and call my dad.

"Hi daddy good morning" I say as he answers.

"Good morning how's Aspen?" he replies.

"Really beautiful" I say as I gaze out of the window. "Is Byron there?" I ask.

"He is, just hang on" my dad says and I hear him calling out Byron's name and then I hear him. My heart leaps at the sound of my son's voice.

"Mommy!" he calls.

I smile, "Hi baby boy, are you being good for granddad and grandma?" I ask.

"Yes" he replies, "I'm playing cars with Zac and Fin" he says.

"Are you, that's good" I say.

"When are you coming back?" he asks me suddenly.

"Really soon" I say, "mommy and daddy are spending a little bit of time together and then we will be home in 4 days time, but until we do come home I will talk to you every day and daddy and I will Skype you every night so we can see you and you can see us is that ok?" I say.

"Ok" he says.

"While you are with Granddad and grandma you be a good boy and do what they tell you to do" I say.

"I will" he says, "I'm going now to play cars" he adds.

"Ok bye" I say.

"Bye mommy" he replies and then he is gone.

"Denise?" I hear my dad's voice again.

"I'm here" I say.

"He's absolutely fine, don't worry about him. Just concentrate on enjoying yourselves" he says.

"We will" I say as I wipe a stray tear away.

"What are your plans for today?" my dad enquires. He knows I am feeling a little upset and he is trying to distract me.

"When Nicky wakes up we are going to have some breakfast and then we are planning to go for a walk down by the river" I say.

"That sounds nice" my dad replies.

"Yeah, it is so beautiful here dad, and the house is breathtaking, did you know what Uncle Christian had done?" I ask.

"I did, I have actually been there and seen the house, I helped him furnish it, as I know your tastes. I must say I am incredibly envious, it is a beautiful property" he says.

"Well you and Josephine can use it and come here whenever you want to" I say immediately.

"Thank you sweetheart that is very kind of you" he replies. There is a pause and then he speaks again, "Did Toby catch up with his brother yesterday before you flew out to Aspen?" he asks mildly.

"Yes he did" I say and my mind flies back to the previous morning and I tell my father of the visit...

"_Good morning Mrs Kline" I am awoken from my very pleasant dream by the voice in my ear and soft kisses to my lips. I open my eyes and look up into the face of my new husband and I smile._

"_Hmmm" I moan and I rub my eyes, "what time is it?" I ask._

"_Nearly 9am, I left you as long as I could but Toby just called he is on his way up to speak to us and well..." he stops and shrugs._

_I stretch and yawn, "Ok give me a few minutes" I say._

_The next thing I realise a mug of coffee is being pushed towards me, I take it and grin up at Nicky._

"_Thank you, you know a girl could get used to this sort of treatment!" I say._

"_Anything for my beautiful wife" he replies and gives me another swift kiss._

_I watch my incredibly sexy husband leave the room and I sip my coffee, I quickly shower and get dressed and head out of the bedroom tying my wet hair into a ponytail._

"_I ordered you some breakfast" Nicky says pointing at the table where there is a covered plate waiting._

_I lift the lid and smile at the pancakes, my favourite breakfast "Thank you" I say once again and grab one._

_I have just about finished when there is a knock at the door, Nicky answers it and Toby walks in and glances towards me._

_He spots the breakfast plates and his face drops, "I'm sorry, I'm interrupting your breakfast" he says._

"_Don't panic, we have just finished" I reply._

"_I won't stay long I just wanted to catch you before you went on your honeymoon, I'm flying back to LA later so..." he trails off._

"_Do you want me to leave?" I ask._

_Toby hesitates "I'd like to speak to my brother a moment if you don't mind Denise" he says apologetically. I nod and walk towards the bedroom._

_I watch Nicky bristle and he holds out his hand to stop me, "Wait, hang on bro, she's my wife so whatever you want to say to me you can say in front of Denise" Nicky says a little defensively._

_I touch his arm, "It's fine, really it's ok baby – I need to go and pack" I say._

_I head into the bedroom, but I don't start packing. I listen to their conversation through the door._

"_What's up Tobes? Look before you say anything, that was some pretty heavy shit that went down yesterday, and you look different today. You look happier, and if you remember it was down to my wife for giving a shit that you are now in a better place so I really don't appreciate you telling her she isn't welcome to be in the same room when you talk to me. Secondly you should have told us what had happened to you, I am pretty pissed at you at the moment bro, why didn't you tell us? We could have helped you – didn't you trust us or something?" Nicky says in a strangled voice. _

_I want to go out there and take him in my arms, he is clearly struggling with the revelations of what happened to Toby and is hurt that he felt Toby didn't trust him enough to tell him the extent of what had happened._

"_Look I don't want to fight with you about this, I'm sorry we are all wiser with hindsight. But come on bro we are not the Cross's and the Grey's we have never been like that - that close and tight, look what happened when mom and dad split up the family scattered and we count ourselves lucky if we get a Christmas card from each other. I am not trying to tell Denise that she isn't welcome at all. I just wanted to talk to you alone, I wanted to say, I am so fucking happy for you she is a really good person and I was totally wrong about her and I am so glad for you that I was wrong. I owe her a lot, she smashed though all my issues yesterday and got me to face up to a lot of shit in a short space of time… and that guy, her uncle... Christian; he was so understanding and he said he would help me. He was so kind to me and he got me. I feel that thanks to her I can have a real chance to be... normal" he says._

"_So why are you telling me?" Nicky says "Shouldn't you be saying all this to Denise instead of telling her to go away?" he asks._

"_Because I need to know that you are going to treat her right Nick" he says quietly._

_I suppress a sharp gasp at his words._

"_Fuck you Toby! I am insulted that you are even asking that" Nicky says coldly "I would have thought that was obvious and to be taken as read" he adds._

"_I just had to check" Toby says. "I am really happy for you Nick and I hope that we can build on yesterday and be closer than we have been" he says._

"_We can as long as you cut this crap about me not treating my wife properly" Nicky says. He is obviously very hurt at what his brother has said._

_I decide to step in at this point, it is clear these two have no idea how to interact with each other, and it throws me a little as my family is so close this is something I have never had to deal with or have any experience of._

"_Sorry, I need to just get..." I say as I walk in quickly pulling together a plan in my mind on how to resolve this without either man losing face or seeing that I am actually manipulating them._

_Nicky smiles at me, "That's fine baby, don't apologise" he says warmly."You have every right to be here" he adds glaring at Toby._

"_Erm... by the way while you are here Toby, when we get back to New York I was wondering if you would like to join us. I was hoping to have a house warming of sorts and it would be nice if Nicky had his family there as well rather than the place being overrun with mine" I say with a smile. I look at Nicky and hope he backs me up on this._

"_I'd like that" Toby says nervously and he glances at Nicky._

_I hold my breath, "You know you are always welcome bro" he says gruffly and he embraces him tightly, I let out the breath I was holding and resist the urge to fist pump._

_Toby looks at me, "Your uncle and those doctors are going to help me – I am very grateful to you for everything you did yesterday" he says._

_I wave my hand, "Don't mention it" I say dismissively._

_He takes a step towards me and hesitantly opens his arms looking at me questioningly, I stare at him, this is huge for him, and so I slowly step forward and embrace him. He stiffens and whimpers slightly but doesn't freeze. "Thank you" he whispers in my ear._

"_You're welcome" I reply. _

"So that's pretty much what happened" I say to my dad as I finish telling him.

"I see" he replies, I know he is worried about this, but I'm not as all they need is the chance and opportunity to come together and learn how to interact with each other. An idea leaps to my mind as I think this.

"Erm... Dad; who is hosting the Thanksgiving celebrations this year?" I ask.

"Us I think... yes it's us, why?" he asks.

"Would you consider inviting Nicky's family to join us, it would be kind of a nice gesture don't you think?" I ask.

There is a silence and then my dad sighs, "I know what you are trying to do, and yes I agree it would… ok I'll do that" he says.

"Thanks dad, you're the best" I say.

I hear a moan from the bed and turn to see Nicky stirring, "I have to go dad, Nicky is waking up" I say.

"Ok I'll talk to you later when you Skype Byron" he says.

"Ok thanks dad, I love you" I say.

"I love you too sweetheart" he replies. I hang up and turn towards my husband who is now awake.

"Well good morning husband of mine" I say.

Nicky grins at me, "Good morning wife of mine, who was that?" he replies – he holds his arms out to me and I climb on to the bed and into them.

"My dad, I wanted to talk to Byron" I say.

Nicky's gaze softens, "Are you missing him?" he asks.

I nod, "yes" I reply.

"Come here" he says and pulls me closer, and very soon we are lost in each other.

**oooOOOooo**

"Come on you can do it!" I glance up and see Nicky holding his hand out to me. For some unknown reason the gentle walk by the river has turned into a full scale hike and at this moment I am determined to do this and I clamber up the rocks panting heavily so I am beside him.

"I did it!" I gasp as I try and catch my breath.

I look out at the magnificent view which suddenly seems worth all the effort. I grab my phone from my pocket and snap some pictures then I take a selfie of Nicky and I sitting on the rocky outcrop.

Nicky looks lost in his own thoughts, "What are you thinking?" I ask him.

He turns and smiles and wraps his arm tighter around me, "I am just thinking what a lucky son of a bitch I am" he says and plants a kiss on my temple.

"Ok... now what are you really thinking?" I ask.

Nicky looks at me and shakes his head, "I can't keep anything from you can I?" he says.

"You are my husband you are not supposed to keep anything from me" I retort and I nudge him.

He shakes his head and sighs; "I _was_ actually thinking what a lucky son of a bitch I am, but..." he stops and looks down.

"What? Come on tell me?" I push.

"It's just a lot to take, the house mainly… don't get me wrong it's fantastic, it really is and your uncle was so kind to do that for us but to suddenly have this life handed to me on a plate. I thought I could handle it but I guess I'm having some trouble adjusting to it all, I know people are going to think I married you because of who you are and what you have and who your family is and..." he says, he turns towards me and grips my hand and looks at me as though he is pleading with me, "please don't think I'm regretting marrying you but it's you I love Denise, you and Byron and I'd live in a box with you I love you so much so please don't take this the wrong way" he stops and looks at me anxiously.

I shake my head, "No I get what you are saying if it's any consolation I was thinking pretty much the same thing this morning before you woke up. I am having difficulty believing that house is ours – mom and dad brought us up to be pretty down to earth, believe it or not. So to have two homes dropped in my lap and not have to work for them is jarring a little with me too" I say.

"Perhaps if we redecorate and make it more ours and when we have our own knick-knacks around the place it will be different" I say. I touch his cheek and lean forward and kiss him, "and as for worrying about what everyone else thinks, let them think what they want, we know the truth, and my family and yours knows the truth too, anyone else can go and fuck themselves!" I say with a grin.

Nicky thinks about this, and smiles back, "You have such a way with words Denise!" he says.

"I'm known for it baby!" I say and I nudge him trying to lighten the atmosphere, "but I'm right, also it could be argued that I'm only marrying you for your status as a musician" I add and he nods thoughtfully at that as if that thought had never occurred to him.

"What do you think about what I said about the house?" I ask.

"Yeah you're right, it probably will be different when we have made it more our own, at the moment it's like a show house, not that it isn't lovely and what your uncle did was incredible" he says and he brightens at the thought.

I look around at the view, "Byron will love it here" I say as my thoughts turn once more to my son.

Nicky nods, "yeah, plenty of room for him to run wild!" he says, he looks at me again "You are really missing the little guy aren't you?" he says.

I nod, "I've never been separated from him longer than a few hours during the day while I was at college, I think this is the longest we have ever been apart" I say. I rest my head on Nicky's shoulder and he hugs me tighter. "Sorry" I mutter.

"What?" Nicky asks.

"Bringing the atmosphere down, we should be enjoying the time alone it's our honeymoon and here I am moping and pining for my son" I say.

Nicky shakes his head, "it's because you are such a good mother its natural you should miss him, but just remember he is having a whale of a time with your dad, he has Fin and Zac to play with and run riot with and your sisters to pester not to mention your dad and Josephine to manipulate" he says with a grin and I laugh.

"Yeah I know he's fine and he is safe and probably not giving me a second thought, I'm just being silly" I say and snuggle closer to Nicky.

Eventually we make our way back for some lunch and we walk through the town and look in the shops. I try and visualise how it will look when it's snowy.

"We will have to come back when the snow comes, and bring Byron and teach him to ski" I say Nicky nods.

"You'll have to teach me to ski as well" he says. I start to laugh, "What?" he says staring at me in amusement.

I shake my head, "Oh god this is going to be brilliant!" I say.

"What?" Nicky asks again.

"I'm just visualising you and Byron on the nursery slopes" I say and more slightly hysterical giggles escape from me, eventually I calm down and hug him, "I can't wait to teach you to ski, you will love it" I say confidently.

Nicky grins and his face lights up, "have you ever been diving?" he asks.

"No" I say.

"Perfect" he replies, the next time we go back to California I'll take you and Byron diving, I have a friend who does it professionally, it'll be great!" he says.

I grin back at him, "You're on" I reply.

"Have you ever been skating?" I ask.

"What sort?" Nicky asks.

"Ice" I reply.

He shakes his head, "no but I used to roller blade quite a bit when I was younger" he says.

"Brilliant, so you'll be fine when I take you to the ice rink in Central Park!" I say.

Nicky laughs, "We have so much to look forward to, us and Byron as well" he says.

"What about other kids?" I ask.

He stills and looks at me, "Denise I'd love to have kids with you, but I thought you wanted a career?" he says.

I nod, "I do, I didn't mean yet. I'm only 21 years old and you are only 25, so we have plenty of time" I say "I want to get settled and established and then maybe in a couple of years or so..." I stop.

Nicky nods, "yeah that sounds perfect, I've had enough of the nomadic life of a musician on the road… dad was right it's not all it's cracked up to be. I've made enough money already to keep us comfortable for the rest of our lives so when you are ready to start a family I'll just pack it all in" he says.

I gasp and stare at him, "Really?" I say.

He nods, "Definitely" he replies, "But having said that I'd like to take you and Byron with me on my next tour" he says.

"And I'd love to come, see what it's like on the road!" I say.

"We are going to be so happy" Nicky says and he stops and kisses me tenderly.

I hear a camera shutter click and glance to my left, "I think we've just been papped!" I whisper.

Nicky looks and sees Paul moving in on the photographer and he smiles and kisses me hard.

I stare at him, "Just giving them something worth publishing!" he says with a wicked smile.

I think about our conversation, the plans we made and decisions we made, we had talked like that so much before we got married about what we both wanted but now we are actually married it seems to mean more somehow and feels more real.

We get back to the house and I decide to go for a bath, "care to join me?" I ask as I run my hand down his chest.

I am surprised when Nicky shakes his head. "I have a couple of things I need to take care of" he says and kisses me once more. I stare at him slightly upset he has declined my offer, he notices and grasps my hand and runs his thumb over my knuckles, "Hey we have all our lives to bath together and shower together and do unspeakably erotic things to each other in those places, so don't read anything into this baby, I just have a few things I need to do and while you take your bath is a good time to do it" he says.

I nod, I know I'm being unreasonable and I try and shake the thoughts going through my mind.

Nicky sighs, "I want to make a couple of phone calls; I want to call my brother after we talked I feel kind of bad about what I said to him yesterday. The guy has major issues and I failed to take that into consideration, and I want to talk to my mom as well" he says.

Of course he does, I feel awful for being so clingy and needy. "I'm sorry" I say. "I don't know what came over me" I add.

"Don't worry about it, honestly" Nicky says.

I kiss him and head to the bathroom and run a bath and climb in and I close my eyes. It feels so good, my legs are aching from the long walk and the bath is helping to ease that, I moan with pleasure as I move in the warm bubbly water.

When I eventually decide to get out I get dressed and I look out of the window to see Nicky pacing around the garden talking on his phone. I glance at my watch its nearly 3pm no wonder I am hungry. I head down to the kitchen and Clare the house keeper Uncle Christian engaged is there, she freezes when she sees me.

"Mrs Kline" she says.

I smile at her, "Hi, please call me Denise" I say.

She smiles, "Denise, what can I do for you?" she asks.

I shake my head, "Nothing, I came down to get myself and Nicky some late lunch" I say and I open the fridge door.

"I have a number of meals prepared for you in the freezer if you would like me to get you something?" she asks me.

"Thank you, but I'd like to do it if you don't mind" I say gently.

She smiles and nods, "Of course Mrs... Denise" she says.

I pull out some things and start to make some lunch, I glance up at Clare.

"Where are you from Clare?" I ask genuinely curious.

She smiles at me, "Carbondale, so just down the road really" she says.

We chat a while longer while I am preparing lunch until I am distracted by footsteps, I look up and I see Nicky approaching, pushing his phone into his pocket.

"There you are, did you enjoy your bath?" he asks.

"I did" I say.

Nicky comes up behind me and he wraps his arms around me and kisses my neck before he starts eyeing up the food on the counter.

"Help yourself," I say nodding to it and he grins and after giving me a final squeeze and kiss he releases me and reaching around me, grabs a plateful.

"I'll leave you two in peace" Clare says and leaves the room.

I sit down with Nicky, "How did your calls go?" I ask carefully.

He nods, "Good, I called dad and he is good, he was happy to hear from me and it was good checking in with him. I spoke to Tobes too, he is back in LA now and I spoke to mom" he says, then he pauses, "she is feeling bad about everything that came out about Toby, she said he had gone to her a couple of times in the past and tried to tell her but she had just told him to man up, she said she had no idea that it had been so bad and now she feels awful for dismissing him" he says, "which explains why he is the way he is I guess" he adds.

"It's not too late for them" I say as I push my food around with my fork.

Nicky looks at me, "What are you getting at?" he asks.

I take a deep breath, "Toby is seeing Dr Travis isn't he – he is working through all his shit with him?" I say, Nicky nods, "Well, it might be helpful if he has some joint sessions with his mom so that they can talk everything out and wipe the slate clean so to speak, and sort out their issues with each other over everything. It would probably do their relationship the world of good, it's just a thought, I know my dad did something similar years ago with his brother Christopher and they had some _real _issues – you ask your dad! But after they did it they never looked back" I say.

Nicky thinks and nods, "I'll put it to Toby and mom when I speak to them again" he says, he smiles at me, "Thanks" he says.

I shrug, "No problem" I reply.

"I thought your dad and his brother were tight? I know they are not as close as he is with Christian but I didn't realise there were issues there?" Nicky asks suddenly, almost as if what I had said previously has only just registered.

I shake my head, "There isn't any now, that's the point I'm making, but back in the day they hated the sight of each other. It was really, really bad I mean we are talking way back, it was long before I was born that they went into therapy together and got their shit together" I say.

Nicky nods and looks thoughtful at this information.

We have a lazy afternoon, and just hang around the house and garden. It's nice, inevitably our minds turn to more carnal matters and we end up going upstairs to our room. By the time we eventually re-emerge we are both totally exhausted, drained even and very well fucked!

"Well that was an afternoon and a half!" Nicky says, he pulls me close and kisses me tenderly.

"Not to mention very enjoyable" I say with a wicked grin.

"Goes without saying" Nicky replies.

We head downstairs, "so are we going to have something to eat now?" I ask.

Nicky nods, "Are we eating here or do you want to go out somewhere?" he asks.

"Here I think, if that's ok with you?" I say.

"Sure, no problem" he replies.

After a delicious dinner courtesy of one of the meals prepared in the freezer by Clare I sit back and wipe my mouth and sigh.

"That was delicious" I say.

Nicky nods in agreement, "She seems a nice person, Clare I mean" he says suddenly.

I nod, "she is" I say.

We continue to chat comfortably and after clearing the plates away and loading the dish washer we move into the lovely sitting room and I reach for the TV remote. It's been ages since we watched any TV together, neither of us bother too much with it but somehow tonight it seems like a good idea. I surf lazily through the channels until I settle on an episode of Downton Abbey, I love this programme and I settle down to watch. As I do so Nicky stares at me in amusement.

"You are kidding?!" he says.

"What?! I love this series, it's so good. British TV is so good there is a quality to their programme making, I mean look at this" I gesture with my hand towards the screen.

Nicky leans over me and grabs the remote and mutes the sound and then pulls me onto his lap and starts gently kissing me.

"Erm...surely you don't want more after all we did this afternoon?" I say slightly shocked.

Nicky grins, "I will never get enough of you" he says.

I sigh, "Well if you put it like that" I say and wrap my arms around him and slowly rock in his lap, He moans and I feel him stiffen.

He kisses me and his hands start to wander all over me and within moments we are pulling our clothes off and devouring each other.

"God is it normal to want you as much as I do?" I gasp, as I lower myself on to his waiting red hot erection.

"Just as normal as it for me to want you" he moans and thrusts his hips upwards.

**oooOOOooo**

"Wow" Nicky says as we lie naked in a contented tangled heap in front of the huge log fire, on the plush soft rug.

I giggle, "You seem to be saying that a lot recently" I say.

Nicky nods, "I know, it's all that my mind can articulate into words after its been turned to mush after the things we do together, you are lucky I'm that coherent!" he says.

I lean against him, "God we are so lucky" I say.

"You are telling me!" he replies as he glances around the room.

"I don't mean all this" I say gesturing to the room, "I mean us, what we have and what we feel for each other" I say.

"I know" he says quietly.

"Will it always be like this?" I ask turning to look at him a sudden and unwelcome fission of panic and worry surging through me.

Nicky shrugs, "I can't answer that, I hope so but I can see it only getting better and better" he says.

I feel my heart lurch at his words and I press myself closer to him, but I still feel that small worry niggling away deep in my mind.

"Hey, your Skype session with Byron" Nicky says nodding towards the clock on the wall.

I pull myself away from him and we quickly dress and I fetch my laptop. We set it up on the table and we both sit so we are in view of the webcam.

"Ready?" Nicky says as he presses a key. I nod.

"MOMMY!" I hear my son's voice and see him grinning at me on the screen, he is sitting with my dad and immediately tears threaten to fall.

"Hi baby boy are you being good?" I ask my voice shaking with emotion.

He nods and holds up a toy car, "Look what granddad bought me" he says.

"Wow, that's nice did you remember your manners?" I ask.

Byron looks confused and shakes his head, "No, but I remembered to say thank you" he says.

I smile, "well that's good" I say.

Byron turns his attention to Nicky, "DADDY LOOK!" he says holding up his car once more.

"Hi buddy! I can see it, that is one cool car!" Nicky says brightly, I watch him and I can see he is missing Byron as much as I am, it is right there in his eyes how they have lit up with paternal love since he laid eyes on him again.

My dad leans forward and speaks "Nick everything is arranged" he says.

I see Nick smile and nod "That's great thank you Mr Cross" he says.

"Please, Nick how many times, call me Gideon" my dad says.

I stare at them, "What's arranged?" I ask.

Nicky shakes his head, "Nothing important at the moment – just stuff to do with the new album release" he says.

I nod, but something tells me he isn't speaking the truth, but I let it go.

We talk for a while, Liv and Zoe come and have a few words as well and then Josephine comes into view and she brings Finlay and Zachary to say hello.

"Hi, guys!" I say as my baby brother's wave wildly at the screen, they are a riot but they soon lose interest as does Byron and I watch as they all go leaving my dad sitting there alone.

I suppress a snigger, "And then there was one!" I say.

My dad looks around, "yes I appear to have been abandoned!" he says wryly.

We continue to talk but eventually we have to say goodbye, dad leaves for a moment before returning with Byron and he prompts him to say goodnight to us, and suddenly Byron looks sad.

"Night-Night mommy" he says then he turns to Nicky, "Night-Night daddy, how many days now is it until you come back?" he asks.

"Not many" Nick replies his voice hoarse, "Ok buddy it's your bedtime now so you be a good boy for grandma and granddad, and mommy and daddy will see you again real soon ok?" he says.

I turn my head away and blink furiously, this is really hard. I compose myself and plaster a big fake smile on my face.

"It won't be long, baby boy, night-night and remember mommy and daddy love you very, very much" I say.

"I love you too mommy and I miss you... I miss you lots and lots" he turns to Nicky, "Night-night daddy I love you and I miss you too, lots and lots" he says sadly.

Nicky smiles, "I love you too buddy, and we will be home very soon" he says.

The screen goes blank and I burst into tears. Nicky immediately folds me into his arms, and rocks me gently.

**oooOOOooo**

The next morning I wake up and glance over, the bed is empty. I touch it and its cold, so Nicky has obviously been up for a while. I check the time and its nearly 9am, hell I really slept in. I reach for my phone, after last night I want to speak to Byron to check he is ok. I am surprised when my dad doesn't pick up and the call goes to his voicemail. I start to panic slightly but then remember that it is Monday so he could be at work in a meeting or something and I calm down and go to call the house, just as I'm about to do so the bedroom door opens and Nicky walks in with a huge grin on his face.

"Good morning baby, you're awake" he says.

"I am, why didn't you wake me?" I ask.

"I thought I'd let you sleep in, but now you are up come downstairs I have a surprise for you" he says.

"Ok" I say, and I pull on a robe and he grabs my hand and leads me downstairs.

"MOMMY!" I stare in shock as my son hurtles towards me and also standing in my living room is my dad grinning at me.

"Byron? Dad? What's going on?" I ask.

Nicky shrugs, "This is what your dad was talking about last night when he said that everything was arranged. Sorry I lied baby but I wanted to surprise you. I knew you were missing Byron and so when I made my phone calls to my family yesterday while you took your bath I also called your dad and asked if he could arrange for Byron to be brought here to us".

I stare at my husband and tears are falling freely, I hug Byron tightly and then move towards Nicky and fling my arms around him, "Thank you so much" I whisper in his ear.

He returns my hug, "No problem, I live to make you happy" he says.

I stare at him a moment before turning my attention to my father, I walk into his arms and hug him tightly, "Thank you daddy" I whisper.

"You are more than welcome sweetheart" he says.


	54. Chapter 54

CHAPTER 54

_One Week Later..._

"So you think this house warming thing is a good idea?" I ask as I hand my husband a mug of coffee.

I sit down at the breakfast table and he takes the coffee from me and nods.

"Thanks babe, yes I do. If you want to do it then go for it, but I don't want you to over stretch yourself and make yourself ill, you have just started your new job which you say you are enjoying very much and you are finding your feet there and there is everything else that we have going on at the moment. The main thing being the fact that the week after next it is Thanksgiving and it's your dads turn to be host for your family and you have offered to help Josephine out with that too, so I just don't want you to take on too much".

I nod at him and smile, "Our family" I correct him and he grins at me.

"Our family" he repeats. "Having said that it will be nice for your... our family come and see this place now it's finished, I have to say I didn't recognise it when we first got back".

I nod and I think that had been my father's intention, to make it totally different from the home I grew up in, something which would harbour memories from the past. If I am honest - to me it feels like my childhood home has been erased, but I can see what he was trying to do. I remember back to the day a couple of days previously when we first walked into our New York home...

"_Oh god it's good to be back here in New York, San Diego is a great place but New York is and always will be home!" I say as I push the key into the front door._

"_Granddad has made it look different, I've seen it" Byron says carefully._

"_Has he?" I say not really paying much attention. _

_I open the door and stop dead, Byron wasn't kidding. I feel like I am walking into a totally different apartment, nothing seems familiar. I look around all the old recognisable furniture has gone which I expected as my dad would have taken them to his new place, but the reception area inside the front door seems bigger somehow, it has been painted a totally different colour and the floor has been redone. I realise why it looks bigger my dad had a coat stand and a small table in here but that is gone and instead is a new door, which wasn't there before. I open the door and gasp, I realise what this is, this was the small lobby of the adjoining one bedroom apartment which had long since been incorporated into part of the main apartment, but it now seems smaller still somehow and I look around. Now this small reception area has been re modelled and now is a giant walk in closet for hats coats, shoes etc and I realise why it looks smaller there is now another room here, it has a small enclosed room within it I open the door and smile at the tiny bathroom, there is a toilet and sink here this is perfect, as I think of all the times I and my sisters had rushed in desperate for a pee over the years and dad yelled at us for not taking our outdoor shoes off in our haste to get to one of the main bathrooms. _

_I am speechless, I close the door and stand in the reception area and stare, the walls are now a warm cream colour, but clear so I can put up my own pictures. Hesitantly I open the door to the living room, and gasp again, the whole layout is now completely different, it has been furnished but there is no TV. I look around and count the familiar doors to the other areas of the apartment and discover that once again there is a new one and once again it is one which leads to what was the next door apartment. I go through it and I am now standing in a second living room with a television, a cupboard which I open and find our extensive DVD library and there is an Xbox. I smile, I realise this is for Byron then I look at Nicky and I see his face light up when he spots it, ok so maybe it was for Nicky too._

_I walk towards what was the kitchen and instead find a third living room, this one clearly child orientated and Byron squeals in delight, "Granddad said he had given me my own room" he yells as he darts past me. Ok then so where is my kitchen? _

_I walk towards the corridor which took us to the bedrooms and stop at the first one which was originally my father's study but had also been a bedroom at one point, I open the door and now find a top of the range kitchen, my jaw drops as I take it all in. Nicky hasn't said a word yet and I wonder what he is thinking about all this. The next door which was my father's bedroom is next and by now I am wondering what I am going to find, I open the door and stop dead once more, it is a small recording studio and music room with a selection of musical instruments, the en suite is still there in tact as it was and I glance at Nicky and his jaw has just dropped open, he stares at me and walks over and runs his fingers reverently over the instruments and recording equipment._

"_Holy fucking shit" he mutters it's the first words he has spoken since we arrived._

"_Are you ok?" I ask._

_There is a pause, "Just give me a minute" he replies, holding his hand up and I nod, I'm feeling much the same way. _

_I leave the room and head to what was my bedroom, this is now a wet room with enormous shower and huge bath tub I gasp as I see it I pause wondering where the bedroom is and see a second door, I open it and it leads into what was the bedroom of the adjoining apartment but is now an enormous master bedroom, I wonder how this can be and I realise the wall has been moved making the bedroom bigger and the living room – now our TV room smaller, I frown wondering if there is another access to the bedroom other than through the bathroom and I see a door which I open and this leads me back to the original corridor, ok then. Finally we reach Byron's bedroom and a second spare bedroom I walk back along the corridor and spot a door situated opposite the music room I open the door and find a home office, I smile my dad has thought of everything. _

_I turn to Nicky, "Are you ok?" I ask._

_He nods but doesn't say anything and I reach for him and grip his hand, "He meant well" I say carefully._

_Nicky pulls me close, "He has left everything blank so we can hang our own stuff and make it ours, I'm just still floored by the recording studio that was... well it was unexpected" he says. "Do you like it?" he asks me._

_I look around, "I do, I love it, but it is just so different from how it was. There isn't one part of the place which looks how it was" I say._

_Nicky holds me even closer, "I can see why he did that, he wanted to make it so we had a blank canvas somewhere fresh for us" he says._

"_But?" I say looking up at him._

_He smiles "but... it's a lot to take in" he says._

"Hello, earth to Denise!" I am pulled from my memory and glance at my husband.

"Sorry did you say something?" I ask.

"I said you'd better get a move on or you will be late for work!" Nicky replies.

I pull myself together and glance at my watch, "Shit I will!" I say, "What are your plans for today?" I ask.

"I am going to make use of my super swanky music room and recording studio, I have a few songs which I have been working on which I want to get down and having that on hand is going to help considerably in reducing the time I take to get my album done" he says.

"I see" I say.

"Yep, then I'm going to go and get some groceries and I may if I get chance drop in on your dad and discuss the party".

"Oh?" I ask.

Nicky nods, "Yeah… I erm… I need all the contact details of your family members, I'd like to be the one to invite them and I also need to talk to him about a few things" he says.

"Ok" I say, I look at him carefully he is not telling me everything here, but I know the last time he was evasive and lied to me was when he arranged for Byron to join us in Aspen and wanted it to be a surprise so I don't push it.

I stand up and go and brush my teeth and when I return I hug Byron tightly. "You be a good boy for daddy and don't get in his way when he is doing his music" I say.

Byron nods and hugs me back, "Ok mommy" he says.

I turn my attention to my husband, "See you later" I say and plant a soft kiss to his lips he immediately grabs me and pulls me close and deepens the kiss.

"I love you Mrs Kline" he whispers into my mouth as he pulls away.

"I love you too" I reply and I give him another squeeze before I head off.

Paul is waiting downstairs with the car Brett bought us, we were both speechless when we discovered the 'family car' Brett had bought us as a wedding present and waiting for us in the underground parking area. It turned out to be a brand new gleaming Grand Jeep Cherokee SUV. Nicky had even called Brett just to check if it really was ours. I climb in and Paul drives me to the Crossfire.

**(GIDEON)**

I arrive at the Crossfire and climb out of my Bentley and stroll in, I glance at the security desk and I get the usual salute from Les. I smile at him and walk over.

"Good morning Les, not long now until you retire" I say smiling at the stoic security guard he has been with me since the beginning, I took him on when the Crossfire was first built and he has been loyal to me ever since and it is something I haven't overlooked. He is due to retire at the end of the year and at present he is training up his replacement a young man by the name of Malcolm. Les introduces him to me and I shake his hand.

"How are you finding it here at the Crossfire?" I enquire politely.

Malcolm shrugs and mutters that it's alright I raise my eyebrows and Les looks a little concerned.

"It's a lot to take in Mr Cross I'm sure he will be fine when he gets the hang of it" he says as he glares at Malcolm and my guess is he will have words once I have gone.

"You are aware of the straight access addition?" I ask, returning my attention to Les.

Les immediately pulls out a file and opens it, "Erm... Nicholas Kline your new son in law and your eldest daughter Denise is back in New York and working here now as well if I am correct?" Les confirms with a fond smile at the mention of Denise and he pulls a sheet out with Nick's photograph on.

I nod, and turn to Malcolm, "If any of my family come to the Crossfire they are to be given immediate access – I'm sure Nick will be only be wanting access to see my daughter should he come to visit. I doubt he will be visiting me regularly but until you are familiar with them please refer to the mug shots" I say, and Malcolm nods at me.

I glance at Les, "I'll leave you to it" I say and Les thanks me, "Oh before I go, do we know how Norman is?" I ask as I refer to the second security guard who also normally mans the front desk, but has been off sick for a while.

"Improving slowly sir, he thinks he should be back to full duties after Christmas" Les replies I nod and ask Les to give him my regards.

As I leave I hear him tearing Malcolm off a strip and I make my way to the elevators and as I reach them I hear a familiar voice call out to me.

"Dad!" I turn and see Denise striding towards me.

I smile widely as I see her and when she reaches me I wrap my arm around her and kiss her on the head.

"Hi sweetheart, how's the new job?" I ask.

"Good, I love it" she replies.

"That's good, are you glad to be home?" I ask.

She nods at me, "I really am, California was lovely and part of me misses it there because I think I found myself there while I was at college but New York is my home it always has been and so it's good to be back here" she says.

"Don't forget your honeymoon in Aspen" I say.

She nods enthusiastically, "That was wonderful and Byron loved it there, thank you for doing that for us" she says and I feel her wrap her hand around my arm and give me an affectionate squeeze.

"No problem, I have a feeling Nicks request wasn't entirely for your benefit, it struck me he was missing Byron as much as you were" I say.

She nods at me and smiles, "He did, he really loves Byron" she says, then quite unexpectedly she turns to face me and flings her arms around me, "I love you dad, you're the best!" she says and she kisses my cheek, my heart lurches at this gesture.

"You're welcome" I say and kiss her head again.

The elevator doors open at the twentieth floor, "This is my stop!" Denise says with a grin and hops out; "Bye dad have a good day!" she calls as the doors close behind her.

I ride the remaining journey alone and the elevator suddenly feels very empty.

**oooOOOooo**

I am feeling hungry I glance at my watch shit it's nearly 1.30 I have solidly worked through all morning with meetings and teleconferences it's been non-stop.

I flirt with idea of calling down to Waters Field and Leaman and seeing if my daughter wants to go out to lunch with me but as I think this my intercom buzzes into life.

"Mr Cross there is a man downstairs at main reception asking for you, he doesn't have an appointment" Scott says anxiously.

"Does the man have a name?" I ask.

"Yes Sir, Mr Kline" he replies.

"Brett's in town?" I ask in surprise.

"No sir, the new security man at the desk said he was calling himself Nick Kline but I would have assumed he would have had immediate access" Scott says.

"Nicky's here… to see me? He does have direct access, so why hasn't he been allowed straight up?" I ask.

"I have no idea sir, under normal circumstances as per protocol I wouldn't concern you with this and advise security to decline the visitor but considering who the man is claiming he is, I thought I should mention it to you" Scott says warily.

"I'll go down" I say and I grab my jacket and stride out of my office.

As soon as I leave the elevator I see Nicky and Byron waiting at the security desk, Byron turns and sees me and leaves Nicky's side.

"GRANDDAD!" he shrieks and charges towards me, darting around people to reach me. I crouch and grab him up into my arms as he reaches me and flings himself at me.

I stride towards the desk, "What the hell is going on, where's Les?" I demand.

"On his lunch" is the surly response from Malcolm, but he does blanch slightly as he sees me with Byron.

"Ok, but can I ask why my son in law is standing here and has not been granted immediate direct access?" I ask coldly.

"Because Les told me I had to double check anyone who arrived while he was gone" he says.

I quickly count to ten, "yes I appreciate that, but did we or did we not establish this morning that Mr Kline was to be given direct access at all times, you have his information on file so surely you could see he was who he said he was?" I say rapidly losing my patience; I glance at Nick who appears to be finding the whole situation incredibly amusing.

"Erm... Gideon it wasn't me he had a problem with" Nicky says with a grin and nods his head towards Byron.

"You are fu... you are kidding me?" I snarl. I manage to stop myself cursing as I have Byron in my arms.

Nicky nods and Malcolm blanches even more as I glare at him.

"What's going on?" we turn and see Les appearing. "Is there a problem here Mr Cross?" he asks nervously.

I nod curtly, I try and reign in my temper as it's not Les's fault. "It appears that Malcolm took your words of double check everyone to heart and refused access to my grandson" I say coldly.

"What?!" Les exclaims and snatches the folder, he thumbs through the pages and drags out Byron's information page and slaps it on the desk.

"Here you moron, satisfied!" he says and then he turns to me, "I am so sorry about this Mr Cross I do apologise" he says.

I shake my head, "No problem Les, may I suggest you find someone with a little more common sense to take your place when you retire" I say.

I gesture towards the elevator and Nick joins me a huge grin on his face.

"Sorry about that Nick" I say.

He waves his hand dismissively, "Don't be it was the funniest thing I've seen for a while, the guy was a complete idiot. He actually said that I could go up but Byron had to stay until someone could come and vouch for him, I thought about calling Denise but the poor guy probably wouldn't have survived it if I had!" he says.

Bryon is wriggling in my arms and I go to place him back on his feet but he clings to me.

"No granddad, shoulders" he says and I smile indulgently at him and lift him up on to my shoulders. He giggles insanely and grips my head tightly.

"Hold tight" I tell him as I grip his ankles.

"I will" he promises.

I return my attention back to Nick "Now what can I do for you, this is a surprise?" I say as I remember the fact Nicky has come to see me.

We enter the Cross Industries building and head to my office, I am still carrying Byron on my shoulders but as soon as he sees Scott he wriggles and so I quickly place him on his feet and he runs to him.

"Hi Scott" he says.

"Hello Byron" Scott replies as Byron charges towards him and clambers on his knee.

"Are you staying there?" Nicky asks him as we pause outside my office.

Byron thinks for a moment and nods, "I'll be good" he says.

Nicky glances at Scott, "Is that ok – I can take him in with me if you are busy?" he says.

Scott shakes his head, "No not at all Mr Kline, Byron and I are old friends" he says and he pulls a piece of paper towards Byron and hands him a pencil.

We head into my office and I keep the glass clear so Nick can keep an eye on Byron.

"What can I do for you?" I ask as I gesture to the sofa. Nick sits down and clasps his hands in front of him.

"I want to get a portrait done of Byron to give to Denise for Christmas, and I was wondering if Josephine would consider doing it and if you thought it would be ok for me to ask her" he stops and stares at me.

I lean back slightly surprised by the question, "I'm sure she would be honoured but she is more of landscape artist, rather than portraits, have you considered a photographic portrait instead?" I ask.

Nicky shakes his head, "No, I hadn't thought of that" he says.

"Well, Olivia is a very talented photographer I'm sure if you asked her she would be able to provide you with something suitable" I suggest.

I look at the young man in front of me, he constantly glances nervously out of the window towards Scott checking on Byron he loves my daughter and my grandson that much is obvious.

"Thank you Gideon, I'll ask her, while I am here could I possibly get the contact numbers for all your family members, I asked Denise if I could be the one to invite them to this house warming thing she is planning".

I look at him in confusion, "Yes of course" I say as I pull my phone from my pocket "but surely you could have got them from Denise she has them all?" I ask.

Nicky nods, "I know that, but this was my excuse I gave Denise for coming to see you today, so I need to have them when I get back" he says with a small smile.

"So what is your real reason for coming to see me, as I am guessing it isn't just to discuss the Christmas gift that you had in mind for Denise either?" I say.

Nick shakes his head, "No, although that was part of it but I was after some advice and it's not something I feel comfortable discussing over the phone" he says.

I lean back, "Go on" I say.

"Denise told me stuff... about the family, how you all found out you were related and everything, and other things, don't worry I will never repeat a word of it, but amongst what she told me she said that you and your brother went through a period where you didn't get on and you had joint therapy and worked out all your differences" he says nervously.

"I assume you are referring to my brother Christopher?" I say and Nick nods.

I sigh, "it is true our relationship was difficult for years, to put it bluntly he hated the sight of me, your father would be able to tell you exactly how bad it was as he witnessed it for himself on numerous occasions; but we went through joint therapy and he had years of therapy on his own and our relationship improved, but I fail to see what relevance this has to you?" I ask.

It's Nick's turn to sigh now and he leans forward, "I wasn't kidding when I said at the wedding my family was positively distant, even more so compared to you guys. We were never what could be considered a conventional family and at some points we took dysfunctional as a challenge and when mom and dad split up the family just scattered. I flitted between mom and dad for years trying to have a relationship with them both but finally ended up settling in San Diego with dad. Toby stayed with mom before striking out on his own and Rosie well she stayed with mom but she made it clear that she really wanted to be with dad and Kyle well… he's just a law unto himself! Anyway, Tobes has had a rough time, I think Denise has told you the extent of his issues, and I assure you I ripped him a new one for his initial comments about her at the wedding as they were completely out of line. Since then when all the stuff came out, which incidentally Tobes and I can't thank Denise enough for, I mean if she hadn't given a damn that night we still wouldn't know, but mom feels guilty now she knows the full story, she feels she failed him as when he went to her for help she kind of just dismissed him, and well… we just don't know how to be with each other and I just wanted to see if the therapy thing really works, so I'd like to get your opinion of it before I started shelling out" I say.

I stare at the young man in front of me, "Nick I won't lie, it took me a long while to trust any therapist, I'd had bad experiences with therapy as a child and it was hard for me, but Christian put me in touch with his therapist John Flynn and I grew to trust him and yes I would recommend it as long as you find the right therapist" I say.

Nick nods, "Tobes is working with that Dr Travis guy, and Denise says good things about him".

I nod in agreement, "He is a good man, he also helped Eva significantly, and she always thought he walked on water" I say with a smile as I remember Eva. I lean forward "Look I don't want to embarrass you but if you decide to go down the therapy route it isn't cheap. I know my brother is helping Toby with the cost of his therapy, but you know if you wanted to pursue this route and needed any assistance it would be there for you, do you understand?" I say.

Nick nods at me, "Thank you Gideon, you have been more than generous as it is, but thank you" he says.

I nod and don't push it, I can tell by the tone of his voice something isn't right "Tell me are you struggling with the adjustment to your new lifestyle?" I ask mildly.

Nick stares at me and hesitates before nodding, "yeah, I am. I've said to Denise, I love her with all my heart and I said I would live in a box with her and Byron but to suddenly find myself co-owning two frankly stunning homes – it's kind of a lot to take in" he says.

I nod, "Josephine had similar difficulties when we got together, maybe you should talk to her she could give you some pointers?" I suggest.

Nick considers this and nods, "yeah I might just do that, thanks" he says.

The door opens and we both turn to see Byron standing there grinning. "Daddy I'm hungry" he announces.

"Ok buddy we'll go and get some lunch" Nick says standing up. He holds out his hand to me. "Thank you for your time and your advice sir" he says.

I grab his hand and pull him towards me into a brief hug, "Don't mention it, I have always said that all I want is for Denise to be happy, well that goes for you too now" I say.

Nick looks slightly shocked at my words; it is obvious that he wasn't expecting that. "Thank you that means a lot" he says.

"Erm, I was getting ready to go out to lunch, would you and Byron care to join me?" I ask.

Byron immediately makes the decision easy for Nick as he jumps up and down, "Yay lunch with granddad!" he squeals.

Nick smiles, "I guess we are having lunch with you!" he says.

**(DENISE)**

"Darling I'm home" I call sarcastically as I walk in through the front door. I am met with silence, no Byron and no Nicky; I wander around calling for them and getting no response. I wasn't expecting this. I pull my phone from my pocket and send a quick text.

_**Where are you?**_

The reply is instant;

_**Sorry got held up, on my way home now and will pick up some takeout x**_

I smile as I read it and put down my bag and jacket and head into the kitchen; I pull a bottle of wine out of the fridge and pour myself a glass.

A short while later I hear the front door, "Denise!" I hear Nicky call.

I head out and he walks towards me with Chinese takeout in his arms.

"Is Chinese ok? I thought maybe you wouldn't want to cook baby?" he says.

"That's fine" I say and take a bag from him. "Where have you been?" I ask.

"I just got chatting and lost track of time, sorry baby" he says.

I notice immediately that he is being evasive again.

"Les told me you had dropped in on my dad today and got held up by the new security guy" I say.

Nicky grins at me and shakes his head, "yeah it was so funny, the man was a complete idiot. No common sense, he said I could go up but refused to allow Byron access because he couldn't find his details. Your dad came down and when Byron ran to him, I thought the guy was going to die on the spot he went so pale. It was one of the funniest things" he says and he lets out a small chuckle. I watch him as he turns away and starts opening the Chinese takeout boxes.

"So you got the numbers and stuff?" I ask.

Nicky nods, "I did, although your dad pointed out I could have gotten them from you, but never mind I got to talk about the other stuff" he says.

"What other stuff?" I ask casually.

He shrugs, "just stuff, about the album you know" he says.

I know this is a complete lie as it would be Uncle Christopher who he would talk to regarding anything to do with his music; I am starting to get a little worried. "You would tell me if something was bothering you wouldn't you, if something was wrong?" I ask.

Nicky nods, "of course I would" he says and smiles at me.

I smile back but can't shift the slight pang of worry which has settled in my gut.

"We saw Aunty Liv today" Byron states a moment later.

"Did you, did she come to visit?" I ask.

Byron shakes his head, "No she was at grandma and granddads house" he states.

I look at Nicky, "You went over to see Josephine and Liv as well?" I ask.

Nicky pauses and then nods, "yeah, I wasn't going to call them about the house warming I went and spoke to them in person" he says quickly, this sounds plausible and I let it go.

I watch as Nicky's phone buzzes he looks at the screen and stands, "I need to take this baby, and I'll be back in a moment" he says and disappears out of the room.

I wonder what is going on, I know he is struggling with this new lifestyle so I am trying to cut him some slack, but I know in my heart he is keeping something from me.

"So, did you talk to Aunty Liv? What did she say?" I ask Byron casually.

He shrugs, "I stayed with grandma, daddy went with Aunty Liv and talked in private" he says.

I go cold "What?" I ask.

Byron nods, "Daddy said he needed to talk to Aunty Liv" he says.

"Where did they go?" I ask.

"In the other room" Byron replies.

A few moments later Nicky returns looking pleased with himself and he puts his phone down and continues with his dinner.

"Sorry about that baby" he says.

I nod, and continue to eat in silence. My mind is now running riot I am thinking all sorts of things but nothing is adding up. Nicky wouldn't betray me and Liv definitely wouldn't, there has to be some reasonable explanation, but my mind is working overtime and I know I have to stop this line of thought and quickly.

Nicky and Byron disappear into the TV room and I clear away the debris from the takeout, I see Nicky's phone on the side and I glance towards the door and before I can stop myself I pick it up and see who it was calling him. I gasp when I see Liv's name and my hands begin to shake. I come out of it and then I do the unthinkable, I check his messages. There isn't anything there and I sigh with relief, then the phone buzzes in my hand and a text comes through from Liv and so help me god I read it.

_**I am free Wednesday between 2 and 4 or Friday after 3.30 if you want to meet up then, don't worry I won't tell Dennie but Byron might be a problem, let me know, Liv**_

My knees buckle as I read the words. Oh my god, we have only just got back off honeymoon and he is making a move on my sister. I am hyperventilating and tears are streaming down my face. How could he? But more importantly how could she, my husband and my sister? I let out an anguished yell and throw Nicky's phone across the room and it smashes, the noise brings Nicky running in.

"What's happened?" he asks then he stops dead seeing the debris of his phone. "Denise what have you done?" he asks.

I stare at him, "Me!? What have I done?" I say coldly, Nicky stares at me, "Baby what's wrong?" he asks.

"Why is my sister sending you a text saying when she can meet up with you, saying not to worry that she won't say anything to me but warning you that Byron might be a problem, what the hell are you doing with my sister?" my voice is getting higher and louder.

I watch and Nicky shakes his head and smiles "It's not what you are obviously thinking" he says calmly.

"Enlighten me" I snarl.

Nicky takes a step towards me and holds out his hand to me, "Baby, I love you I would never cheat on you" he says.

"Then why are you arranging to see Liv?" I ask, "and don't lie as I know it was her who called you when you left the room" I say.

Nicky sighs and holds up his hands in a gesture of surrender, "Ok, I'll tell you… I wanted to surprise you for Christmas and get a portrait of Byron done, that is the real reason why I went to see your dad I wanted to ask if he thought Josephine would do it, he said that she doesn't do portraits she does landscapes, but then he said what about a photographic portrait and he suggested your sister, so I went there after seeing your dad and spoke to Josephine and she said Liv was dropping by, so I waited till she came which is why we were late home. Liv agreed to do it, and we were arranging a time when we could get together with Byron for her to take the shots, and I said I wanted it to be a surprise, so obviously that message from her which you saw was her telling me when she was free and she was reassuring me that she wouldn't tell you but clearly also warning me that Byron may not be able to keep it a secret" he says.

I stare at him and I feel incredibly stupid, "Really?" I sob.

Nicky nods at me.

I pull out my phone and call Liv, "hello" she says.

"Liv it's me" I say.

"Hi Dennie what's up?" she says.

"Why are you arranging to meet my husband and saying you won't tell me?" I ask.

"Oh god Dennie it's not what you think, honestly he wouldn't do that to you and neither would I, look I'll tell you what it's about but you have to look surprised when it happens, he wants me to take a photograph – a portrait of Byron for you for Christmas. Please don't tell him I told you as he wanted it to be a surprise" she says.

"It's ok Liv, I'm sorry" I say quietly and I hang up. I drop my phone on the work surface and walk into Nicky's arms. "I am so sorry" I say.

"Hey come on, don't worry, looking at it from your point of view it did look suspicious, but just one thing, why were you checking my phone?" he asks.

I look up at him guiltily, "After you left the room Byron told me that he stayed with grandma because you and Liv went into the other room to talk privately, my mind started working overtime at that point and then I saw that it was Liv who called you and then the text and... oh my god I don't want to be that kind of wife, I am so sorry!" I moan.

Nicky chuckles, "Look just remember that I love you and there will never be anyone else for me" he says adamantly.

I nod, "I killed your phone" I say.

He shrugs "it was on its way out anyway, you put it out of its misery" he says.

"I feel terrible" I say.

"Denise, don't beat yourself up just remember that I love you and will never look at another woman. Come on baby, Liv is your sister, do you really think she would do that to you?" he says.

I nod, "The sane part of me was telling me that, but that message kind of got drowned out" I say.

My phone starts ringing; I see it's my dad.

"Daddy" I say.

"Denise, I told Nicky to speak to Liv, he is planning a surprise for you" he says.

I smile; my dad is trying to reassure me without giving away Nicky's surprise.

"It's ok dad I know, I have just totally over reacted, accused my husband of cheating with my sister and I smashed his phone and now I am feeling really stupid" I say.

My dad sighs, "Are you ok?" he asks.

"I am now" I say "apart from feeling really stupid" I add.

**oooOOOooo**

We are lying in bed, Byron is fast asleep and I am lying in Nicky's arms, my husband is sleeping peacefully beside me. I however, am wide awake and I feel dreadful, I have ruined his surprise and accused him of going after my sister only days after returning from the best and happiest honeymoon I could have wished for. What the hell is wrong with me? I can't make sense of it, the fear I felt when I thought something was going on. I decide to give Dr Travis a call, I glance at my watch its late but I've called him later than this before. I slide out of Nicky's hold and pad into the kitchen and grab my phone and place the call.

"Hello" his voice immediately fills me with confidence.

"Hi Dr Travis its Denise" I say.

"Denise what a pleasant surprise, any reason for this late call?" he asks.

"Yeah, I've done something really stupid" I confess.

"Oh, I take it you want to talk about it?" he says.

"Yeah, I need your take on why I behaved so badly" I say.

"Do you want to Skype me or are you happy to talk on the phone?" he asks.

"The phone is fine for now" I say.

"Ok then, go ahead" he says.

"Thanks for this" I mutter.

"No problem Denise" he says.

"Well, tonight I accused my husband and my sister of having an affair, I snooped through his phone and then smashed it when I saw texts from Liv which appeared on the face of it to be pretty compelling" I blurt out. There is a long silence.

"Ok" he says eventually, tell me everything from the beginning and I do suggest that we need Skype for this, I'd like to see you face to face" he says.

"Ok" I reply and I fetch my laptop, "Ok I have my laptop in front of me and I'm calling you now" I say.

Moments later Dr Travis appears on my screen smiling at me.

"Ok let's talk about this Denise tell me everything that happened from your perspective." He says as he settles himself down to listen.

I start to talk, how Nicky was being evasive about where he had been and how he and Byron had been late home then Byron had told me how Nicky had been talking to Liv in private, then how Liv had called him and he had left the room to take the call, and then the text and I tell Dr Travis about what it said, after I have purged myself of it all I stop and wait.

"I see, well looking at it all from your perspective I can see how you jumped to those conclusions. Tell me what your primary emotions were when you found the telephone evidence?" he asks.

I sigh, "Fear, first and foremost it was fear that I was going to lose Nicky, then anger and a sense of betrayal that my sister of all people could do that to me, which led me to smash his phone. Now all I feel is awful that I even considered that scenario and now I am frightened that he is going to leave me anyway because I'm a jealous bitch" I stop and it all falls into place.

Fear... pure and simple, it's all down to a totally irrational fear of losing someone I love, in a moment of extreme clarity it all comes together in my head, exactly why I behaved like I did, I stand up and start to pace and Dr Travis just sits and grins at me, he knows I'm having a light bulb moment and he's letting me figure it out for myself.

"Shit" I breath and I sit down again and stare at him, "its fear pure and simple, my mom died and I physically lost her forever which I didn't grieve properly for at the time, my dad became distant and lost for a few years so I lost him too… in a way, then Jenny died my closest friend then Josh died then I had months of fear that Landon was going to do something and take Byron away from me, not to mention those months when Sybil Hanson was playing her games trying to get revenge on dad and Uncle Christian, we didn't know what was going to happen and everyone around me was at risk during that time then after Byron was born I had the real threat of him being taken away from me after I... well you know. Now I am happy and settled and yet I have an underlying fear that something is going to go wrong, that the other shoe is going to drop and I am going to lose someone else I love, that is why I missed Byron so much when I was separated from him when we were in Aspen it was anxiety that while he was away from me something would happen and I would never see him again, and now... this, shit!" I say and lean back in my chair.

"Well done Denise, very eloquently put, now what we need to do is work on this and establish some exercises for you to help you overcome this fear and perhaps involve your husband so that he doesn't inadvertently trigger your anxiety and put you in a position where you start to panic. It appears the fact he was being evasive was the thing that triggered your fears, although you didn't realise that at the time. He was innocently planning a surprise for you unaware of how his behaviour would cause you to react, so it all comes down to communication Denise, you need to talk to him and we need to establish that if he is planning something nice for you he needs to not try and make excuses or lie to cover his intentions." I see Dr Travis he appears to be looking past me rather than at me and I turn around, Nicky is standing behind me.

"I can do that" he says and comes and sits beside me. "I'm so sorry baby I didn't think, I never thought how it would look" he says and he grips my hand.

I shake my head, "No, it's not your fault you married a basket case!" I say sadly.

"Denise, stop it" Dr Travis says sharply. I turn and look at him, he shakes his head. "you are someone who has endured more than their fair share of loss and death not to mention stress and threat of danger it was inevitable that it was going to have long term effects on your well being and we always knew that it would take years to get you to place where you were happy, you have done so well to get to this point. This isn't an easy fix Denise it can take years to undo the damage the like you have endured and we are getting there, you have made unbelievable progress over the past few years but it's an ongoing process, and you have to remember small seemingly insignificant things can trigger a negative reaction and always will. I'm glad you chose to call me when you realised you were having a slip because this is what that was Denise, it was just a slip that's all and we can rectify it and stop it spiralling into something worse" he says.

I nod and Nicky wraps his arm around me. "I will do whatever it takes to help" Nicky says, "Maybe I could talk to you as I would like to do that anyway" he pauses and sighs then looks at me, "The other reason why I went to talk to your dad today was... I'm considering therapy to talk about the shit that went down with Toby and went to see if your dad thought it might help get my family back on track, after what you told me how it helped him and his brother" he says.

Dr Travis leans forward, "Nick I would be happy to talk to you any time you want to, as you know I am helping Toby come to terms with the things which have happened to him so my door is open for you too" he says.

Nicky nods, "Thanks I think I will, but I don't want to hijack Denise's time tonight, he looks at me with such love I feel even more ashamed for how I behaved.

"Alright then Denise how are you feeling now, what emotions are you having now you have talked this through?" Dr Travis asks.

I look up at Nicky, "Shame, mainly shame and a lot of it. I am so embarrassed for the way I behaved, but also fear that Nicky will won't want to be married to me anymore for the way I behaved" I put my head down and Nicky immediately pulls my chin gently towards him.

"Hey, not going to happen! Never, ever going to happen!" he says emphatically. "You are stuck with me forever" he adds with a grin and kisses me soundly.


	55. Chapter 55

CHAPTER 55

_Two Weeks Later..._

**(GIDEON)**

"If I may, just take a moment before we sit down to eat this wonderful thanksgiving meal" I say as I stand up and hold up my glass.

There is a pause and the general hum around the table subsides. I glance around and all the usual suspects are there, my step father Chris looks at me expectantly and my brother Christopher is sitting beside him. Everyone has flown in from Seattle as usual; Ireland is here along with her young daughter Holly. She is now settled, happy and rebuilding her life in the North West of the country. I look at Christian and Ana, even after all these years are obviously so much in love with each other, it would be unthinkable for them not be here and their now expanded family, Phoebe is here of course and young Dylan.

My heart lurches as my eyes rest on my beloved mom Grace, no blood relation whatsoever to me but the woman who has treated me like a son for so long that small detail has long since been forgotten. Sitting next to her is Carrick, a fine and honourable man. Elliot is here acting the fool as usual and keeping the room entertained with his antics. He is alone this year, his children spending Thanksgiving with their mother Kate. Mia, Ethan and their brood are here as well, completing the Seattle contingent.

Victor and Maureen are here, as are Ray and Denise. I look at them with concern, Victor in particular is looking tired and... old, it worries me I can't imagine my life without this straight talking California street cop in it. I have always been honoured to be his son in law and it never was in any question that he would always be my father in law even after Eva died. I push that thought from my mind and continue my look around the table; we have new additions this year celebrating with us. Brett is here, as are his sons Kyle and Toby who at this moment has just paused a conversation with my daughter Olivia to listen to me. Unfortunately Nick's mother Helen and sister Rosie declined our invitation – they also declined the invitation to the house warming party Denise and Nick held a week or so ago. I wonder why she did that but I believe from what Nick has told me his mother feels guilty for dismissing Toby and now is avoiding everyone rather than confronting the issues which seem to plague that family and Rosie just goes along with what her mother wants.

I look at Nick Kline, so wise for someone so young. In the relatively short time I have known him since he and Denise returned from their honeymoon we have quickly become incredibly close, he and Byron meet me for lunch most days now and when he doesn't meet me for lunch he will call at some point during the day for a chat even though he is busy working on another album and taking care of Byron. He has confided in me a number of things, including the death of his first girlfriend who took her own life, making me understand immediately how he was so understanding and supportive with Denise and her issues.

Then we have my immediate family I glance at my two young twin sons, sitting with Byron my beloved grandson and my mouth automatically twitches into a grin, then there is my wife Josephine – quite simply my life, the woman who taught me how to love again after I lost Eva and thought I would never love or be loved by anyone again. Finally, I look at my girls, my three beautiful daughters, Zoe now a teenager and growing up fast, Olivia – Eva's clone, I look at her and I see a younger version of Eva sitting before me, it is quite unnerving how much she resembles her in her looks and mannerisms. I am so proud of her, she is doing so well at college and she is determined to follow me into Cross Industries which, I am of course delighted about.

Then my eyes rest on Denise, my Dennie and as much as Liv looks like Eva Denise looks like me, but as she has matured her personality is all Eva. She will fight to protect those she loves without a moment's consideration for the consequences of her actions, and god help anyone who dares to hurt someone she loves. Now a married woman with a family of her own, I am so proud of her and what she has overcome. She always appears to be so strong, but we all know better and only a couple of weeks ago we had a situation which reminded us that although she appears to be well, stable and happy her mental health demons still lurk beneath the surface ready to make a reappearance. She made such outstanding progress getting herself well that we seemed to forget that fact that depression, anxiety and certain mental health issues never leave but can only be managed and controlled.

This is the third time in a short space of time that we have all got together, Denise's wedding at the beginning of November, her house warming party the week before last - the first time she had entertained as a married woman and I might add made a complete success of it, everyone had a wonderful time and I was very proud of her and now we are all gathered again this time in my home for Thanksgiving.

"I would like to thank you all for coming here today and celebrating Thanksgiving with us, a special word has to go to our newest family member, my son in law Nick. Also a quick shout to our guests Brett, Toby and Kyle – welcome, and thank you for coming today and celebrating Thanksgiving with us" I nod towards them and Brett lifts his glass in a gesture of acknowledgement.

"So I don't want to take too much of your time, just to say thank you and happy thanksgiving to you all!" I raise my glass and then retake my seat as a chorus of 'Happy Thanksgiving' fills the room.

The meal is delicious, Josephine has totally outdone herself, along with Ana and Denise who have helped at every step and I did my bit too, I made my traditional pumpkin pie which I always make when it is our turn to host with varying degrees of success, but this year's pie was a good one.

At the end of the meal Christian thanks Josephine and looks towards me, "and of course your pumpkin pie was a triumph as usual bro" he says with a grin.

"Of course it was" I retort.

Christian laughs, "I don't know what you are laughing at Uncle Christian after all these years have you _ever_ actually cooked anything?" Denise asks him, her eyebrows raised.

Christian looks at her and thinks, a theatrical expression on his face, "That would have to be a... no, I know that I have been spoilt I will freely admit that, I have been admirably looked after by Gail for years and as you all know Ana is a superb cook as well so I have never had any inclination to learn but to be fair, I did make some toast once" he says.

Ana grimaces, "Yes dear, and don't we all remember that occasion, the kitchen was never the same again, but I'm sure the fire department appreciated the work!" she says sarcastically.

I hear Phoebe snort with laughter, "Yeah dad, you nearly destroyed the kitchen!" she says.

My brother looks at her with a mock hurt expression on his face, "It wasn't that bad!" he says, as everyone is laughing loudly at his expense.

It's nice; the atmosphere is light and happy. This is what I like, this is what I need after my years of enforced loneliness I live for surrounding myself with my family.

I look at Denise, and my mind wanders back to her house warming party...

"_Hi dad thanks for coming, come in" my daughter greets me enthusiastically and pulls me into the main living room._

_I glance around I had deliberately left the walls blank so they could add their own personal touches and make the place theirs, and they have done just that. I notice a collection of Liv's photographs on one wall, I look at them and see they are landscapes, black and white shots of Aspen, California, Seattle and New York four places which mean so much to Denise for different reasons. Another is dominated by a huge portrait of Denise and Nick on their wedding day, and I see that the room is filled with snapshots of family, including photographs taken way back in Seattle when Christian had arranged for a photographer to do a photo shoot for me. _

_I think back with fondness to that time, it was soon after we discovered that we were brothers. I swallow deeply when I see shots of me with Eva. I glance at Josephine but she is smiling as she looks at them along with me. She knows what Eva meant to me and still does mean to me._

_Finlay wanders over and looks at the pictures and smiles as he sees his family members albeit much younger versions, "Zac look" he calls and Zachary runs to his side and looks at the pictures with interest._

"_Daddy!" he says pointing at one and looking at me._

_I nod and smile, "Yep that's me son, but I was much younger there" I say._

_He sees one of me and Eva, she was heavily pregnant it must have been either Liv or Zoe as we didn't get any of her that pregnant with Denise as she came early and I am standing behind her with my hands around her bump, she is wearing a floaty sundress in white – I always liked Eva in white and I'm wearing a white shirt and casual blue jeans._

"_Who's that?" he asks looking at me._

_I swallow once more, "That lady was called Eva, she was my wife before your mom, she was Dennie, Liv and Zoe's mom, but she died" I say. I am surprised by Zac's question but then it occurs to me that the only pictures we have on display at home of our first spouses are in places the boys don't tend to spend much time in, I have a number of photographs of Eva in my study and Josephine has photographs of Michael... actually come to think of it she hasn't got any up all, she had a number of the two of them in her pokey little apartment in Brooklyn when we first met but since we got together she obviously put them away, I will have to speak to her about that when we get home._

_Finlay looks at her, "she looks like Liv" he says._

_I smile, "yes she does" I say._

"_Is that me or Zac?" Finlay asks suddenly and I peer at the photograph he is pointing at. It is a candid shot taken when Eva and I did our vow renewal and I am sitting on the beach with Christian he is holding Phoebe and I am holding Denise. _

_I shake my head, "No son, that's Dennie when she was a little baby" I say, he points at Christian._

"_Uncle Kiss-chun" he says and I nod._

"_Yes that's right it is Uncle Christian" I say._

_He points at Phoebe, "Dylan?" he asks._

_I shake my head, "No, that's Phoebe" I say._

_He points at the now infamous photograph of Christian, Elliot, Christopher and I totally wasted our arms draped around each other singing on the Karaoke the night of the joint birthday party before Eva and I did our vow renewal. I think back to that night, and wonder if that was the first time we had the Karaoke machine out, and I smile how now it is a standing tradition and staple part of family get-togethers when we are at my brothers place. I am looking forward to hearing Nick partake the next time we are in Seattle and the old thing is wheeled out._

"_You all look funny" Fin states and he giggles._

_I smile "I guess we do" I murmur._

"_Dad!" I turn and see Liv and I walk towards her, "Hello sweetheart" I say and hug her._

"_Dennie and Nick have made this really nice, haven't they?" she says and I nod._

"_They have" I agree._

"_I can hardly remember what it was like before looking how it is now" she says as she looks around._

"_Elliot and his crew did a good job with the renovations" I say._

"_Bro!" I turn at the voice and Christian strides towards me, his hand outstretched; I grasp it and pull him into a hug._

"_Christian!" I say._

_Denise steps forward and greets Christian warmly, "Hi Uncle Christian" she says and I watch as my brother greets her with an affectionate hug. _

_Suddenly another familiar voice cuts in, "Move yourself Christian, hello Denise, get away from that joker and come here and give your favourite uncle a hug!" _

"_Fuck off Elliot" Christian growls quietly._

_Denise turns and releasing Christian giggles at Elliot and Elliot holds his arms open and winks at her._

"_Hello missy, thank you for inviting me, so this is your first party as host? Does this mean we might get you as Thanksgiving host in a couple of weeks instead of him?" he says nodding towards me, "No, better still next year instead of him!" he adds with a grin pointing at Christian._

"_Fuck off Elliot!" both Christian and I say in unison._

"_Hey hey language guys" Elliot says grinning even wider._

"_Come on, time out now and stop it there are too many little ears ready to pick up things they don't need to hear" Denise says firmly. _

"_Yeah Christian and Gideon, stop it and mind your language and stop showing everyone just how awful you both really are!" Elliot says with a grin, before he hugs Denise once more. _

_Denise laughs and elbows him harshly. He jumps at the surprise attack, "You pack it in as well Uncle Elliot" she says._

_Christian roars with laughter at the surprise on Elliot's face, "You have been told bro!" he says._

_Christian steps forward and kisses her cheek before he departs to speak to Christopher who has just arrived._

_I look around and spot Liv she is in deep conversation with Toby Kline about something and I spot Zoe with Ireland and Mia. Mia is alone, as Ethan couldn't get time off work so he said he would stay in Seattle with the children, but they will both be here for thanksgiving in a couple of weeks._

_I notice there is music playing and quickly realise that it is one of Nicky's albums, I smile and look towards him and making my way over to him I greet him warmly._

"_Was this your idea of a marketing technique" I tease._

_He shakes his head, "Nothing to do with me, that's all Denise. It's all she listens to, apparently she thinks I'm quite good so now it seems she is determined to make everyone else think the same way" he say. He is clearly embarrassed by Denise playing his songs._

"_She's proud of you, and she loves you what's so wrong with that?" I ask._

_He shakes his head again, "Nothing but it appears a little self indulgent and arrogant don't you think?" he asks._

_I shake my head, "Nick, do you seriously for one minute believe anyone here tonight would think that and besides, they know Denise has planned this party so they also know it was probably her decision to play your music tonight too" I say._

"_Yeah you're right I suppose" he says._

_Denise's voice rings out across the room and everything falls silent, "So, I just want to say thank you all for coming. I wasn't sure if this would be a good idea or not especially so close to thanksgiving but I'm glad you all indulged me and showed up, all I want to say is hope you have a good time tonight and help yourself to the food available which is just laid out in the kitchen!" _

_With that there is a ripple of applause and the party gets into full swing._

"Gideon" I am pulled from my memories Josephine is touching my hand and speaking to me.

"Sorry baby, I was just thinking about something" I say.

"Will you help me?" she asks.

I nod and immediately get to my feet, "Sure baby, here let me take those" I say and take a pile of dirty dishes from her.

The activity around the room is intense as we clear away the tables and dirty dishes from the meal, everyone pitches in to help and soon the room is back to normal.

"So what shall we do now?" I ask as I look around. The children have vanished to play in the twins' room.

Christian looks at me, "do you remember that thanksgiving years and years ago, the one we spent at my apartment here in New York I think it was and we flew Ray in, you were with Eva and I think Ireland was there, I think it was about the first one we spent together, after Ana and I married – it was not long after we first met and became friends, actually I think it was the first thanksgiving I had observed for many years" he says.

"I remember" Ireland says suddenly.

Ray nods, "yes I remember that, it was the first thanksgiving that you and my Annie were together you'd not long married and you surprised Annie by flying me in" he says. "I also remember it was at Gideon's old apartment, not at your place Christian, because I had to help Annie get your sorry ass back to your apartment when you and Gideon got wasted and I helped put you to bed!" he says with a grin.

I watch Christian flush slightly, "yes well..." he stammers, "anyway moving on, the reason I bring it up do you remember the silly parlour games we played that night, charades and the like how about we do it again for old time's sake!?" he says.

I shake my head, "I don't remember that?" I mutter.

"That was the thanksgiving when I first found out about you and what had happened to you Gideon," Ireland says in a small voice. I look at her and from the dark recess of my memory there is a flicker of recognition.

Ireland smiles, "You probably don't remember a lot of it because you were totally wasted. After all the erm... revelations were brought out into the open, we concentrated on enjoying ourselves and as Christian says we played silly games and stuff and you and Christian really got carried away and you were both so competitive" she says.

"I remember that thanksgiving Gideon; it was the very first one you and Christian had observed since you were children!" Ana says, "we arrived and my dad was sitting there waiting, he had called me that morning and wished me a happy thanksgiving when he knew he would see me, then Ireland arrived and yes it was that day where Ireland found out, but we moved on and we had a really good time I remember we played charades and you and Christian got stupidly competitive over it and the more drunk you got the more competitive you got" she says.

Ireland giggles, "Oh god yes I remember how you two were so wasted and you were trying to act out the different songs and plays and films and stuff it was hilarious" she says.

Ana reaches for my hand, "You said it was the first thanksgiving you had celebrated in a long while, since you were a child and it was the first thanksgiving Christian observed for a long while as well" she says.

With her words that first thanksgiving comes flooding back to me "I remember" I say and I nod. "You and Christian came to New York a day early and we had a business meeting to discuss the authors you had brought to Cross Publishing because at that point you worked for me, and Eva was pissed at you because of Marcus..." I stop dead and glance at Brett. Toby and Nicky both pay attention at once and Kyle looks up and looks questioningly at his father.

"Hey don't worry about it, it's ancient history" Brett says immediately.

"What?" Nick asks immediately, and Toby leans forward to listen.

I glance at Brett who shrugs, "It doesn't matter to me" he says.

I glance at Ana and Christian, and Ana smiles and takes up the story. "I had an author come to me with a story, a good story and I ran with it, but it turned out he was Brett's brother and the story was about Brett's relationship with Eva. Eva was upset as it was a period in her life she wasn't proud of, because of issues she was working through at that time" Ana stops.

Surprisingly the next person to speak is Christopher, "It was my fault he approached Ana I was manipulating him, I figured that it would be good hype for the band Brett was in – as they had just released a single which was about Brett's relationship with Eva. Also at that point Gideon and I were... well let's just say we didn't get along, and I was a stupid asshole who wanted to destroy any happiness he had and I figured if it all came out about Eva and Brett it would split them up" he says and looks down.

Nick and Toby stare at him in shock, "What can I say I was an asshole back then!" he says a little defensively. "I didn't understand why Gideon was the way he was and what had happened" he adds.

"What had happened?" Toby asks.

"Leave it Toby" Denise says quickly and sharply.

Nick stares at her, "Denise? What is it?" he asks.

"Please Nicky? Can you both just leave it, it's all ancient history now, my dad and Uncle Christopher worked out all their issues and have been good for years there is no need to drag all this up again" she says.

"I'm sorry" Christian says suddenly, "I only mentioned that thanksgiving originally as I thought it might be fun to play some of the old games again, I didn't mean for all this to be raked over again" he says.

I shake my head, "No, it's not a problem, it's all public knowledge what happened to me, if they Google me it's all there, I'd sooner they hear it from me" I say.

I turn to Toby and Nicky who are watching me closely. I quickly outline the basics of my life story once again and I pause; the silence that has descended is thick and heavy. I shrug and glance at Christopher.

"So, my relationship broke down with my mother completely after she decided I was an attention seeking liar and Christopher picked up on the hostility between myself and our mother, and he started to hate me too, and she fed his misconceptions, by her comments about me. He took the sibling rivalry we already had – he thought I got all the attention and he was jealous of me, I thought our mother loved him more than me – which actually turned out to be true to some extent, and it evolved into something more insidious and by the time he pulled the stunt with Eva his hatred of me was intense and completely eating him away" I stop and I look at him. "But with the help of therapy and our father we erased all that anger, mistrust and hatred and built a new relationship and now... well I think we are pretty tight, don't you agree Christopher?" I look at him.

He looks up at me and smiles, "yeah we're tight" he says.

Toby and Nick stare at me and then at Brett, "Dad did you know about all this?" Nick asks. Kyle just sits with his mouth hanging open.

Brett nods sadly, "Yeah I knew, Ana called a meeting with Marc and Gideon and I and everything was laid out, but at that point I was an asshole as well and all I could see was the marketing potential for the band – I didn't consider Eva's feelings at all, it wasn't until later I realised how she really felt about it all, and how Marc and I were being used and manipulated, no offence Chris, that I eventually did the right thing" he says.

Christopher shakes his head, "None taken, I was an asshole and freely admit it" he says.

"Jeez" Nick says and leans back.

"As Denise says it's all ancient history" I say airily. I stand up I need to get out "Does anyone want a drink?" I ask.

Nobody answers but there is a lot of shaking of heads. I go and walk into the kitchen, I pause at the twins room and look in and see all the children playing happily oblivious to the conversation taking place in the next room. I smile at them all and close the door again.

"Dad" I turn and Denise walks up to me and hugs me, "Are you ok?" she asks.

I nod, "I'm fine honestly, it doesn't affect me anymore I have told my story so many times now I'm fine honestly" I say.

She hugs me again, "just be careful tonight, just be aware to be on the safe side - ok?" she whispers to me and I stiffen slightly and I nod.

"I will" I say. I smile at her worried face, "hey come on lets go back and enjoy our thanksgiving with our family, let's get rid of all this negative stuff and enjoy ourselves!" I say.

"I love you dad" she says and squeezes me.

"I know you do and I love you too sweetheart" I say.

We head back inside, everyone stares at us. Denise grips my hand tightly, "Ok come on people – thanksgiving, and I think I really need to see Uncle Christian and dad playing charades, this is not a thing I have ever witnessed and I need to do so!" she says.

"The drunken version is far more entertaining" Ana says with a grin.

"Not happening baby" Christian says with an emphatic wave of his hand, "but I'm up for a rematch" he asks.

"So am I" I say and sit down we quickly gather numerous films, books and songs and put them in a huge hat. We split into teams and soon we are ready to start.

"Well what are we waiting for?" Christian say, "I'll go first" he adds and delves into the hat. He quickly reads the scrap of paper, "ok then let's begin!" he says.


	56. Epilogue

**AUTHORS NOTE: Well this is it - the final instalment. A huge thank you for all of you who have stuck with this story, taken the time to read it and who have liked/followed and reviewed it, despite the fact it was very dark and heavy going at times. Whether it has been for the first time or if it is a re-read and you remember it from when I first posted it back in 2015. I appreciate all those who have made the effort to read and comment. I know this sort of story isn't to everyone's tastes, but the fact is life isn't all flowers and puppy dogs, it does have a dark side and that is the side of life I wanted to explore and so I wrote about subjects which are still taboo to a certain extent. **

**Even in this day and age death still has a stigma attached to it, people don't know how to talk about it, and when people are grieving its hard to know what to say and do for the best, and also very easy to judge and criticise when the amount of time it takes to 'get over' the death of a loved one appears to be longer than what is considered 'normal'. **

**Mental Health issues and suicide are still taboo and highly stigmatised, because many people don't know how to react to someone who is obviously struggling in that way. Mental Illness is underestimated as people just have no idea that people can be that ill and have nothing physical to show for it, and very often the sufferer can put on such a good show of 'normality' through fear of being judged or through the shame of the stigma that surrounds such illness that they can get to the point of no return before it becomes obvious to others that there is even a problem. **

**It's very easy for someone who has never experienced some form of depression or mental illness to dismiss the sufferer as putting it on or attention seeking and assuming they can just pull themselves together when in reality they are not malingering and can't pull themselves together as much as they want to and are suffering and struggling and are living in an internal hell which can manifest itself in unhealthy coping strategies like self harming. **

**Finally, I touched on a subject which here in the UK is only just recently becoming a recognised problem and that is domestic violence towards men. Domestic violence towards women (which I also touched on in this story) is still dismissed to a certain extent but it is even worse for men, due to the attitudes surrounding the subject. Men are naturally expected to be stronger and therefore not immediately expected to be in a position of vulnerability and when they are it is often received with amusement rather than concern leading men to suffer in silence rather than face the embarrassment of disclosing what has happened to them. **

**I hope I have written all the topics with sensitivity and respect and I reiterate that I have not chosen these topics to try and glamorise them. Having said all that, I also hope I have created a balance and added enough humour to offset the dark content and as promised there is a happy ending for everyone.**

EPILOGUE

_Six years later..._

**(GIDEON)**

"Mom, dad! Grandma and Granddad have arrived – at last!" I smile at my grandson's sarcastic remark.

"Hi Gideon" I look up and Nick is striding towards me his hand outstretched.

"Hello Nick, I'm so sorry we're late, have the boys been ok?" I ask.

Nick nods, "Don't worry about it we wouldn't start without you, and yes they've been fine".

"Thank you so much for taking care of them this last week" I say gratefully.

Nick waves his hand, "No problem, it's been a blast" he says.

"Mom, dad you're back!" my twin sons both yell as hurtle towards us and throw themselves at us.

"Hi guys!" Josephine says happily as she embraces our sons.

"I hope you two have behaved for Denise and Nick?" I ask.

They both nod, "Of course we have" they both say in unison.

I walk into my old apartment, once my sanctuary from the world and everyone in it, then transformed into a loving atmospheric family home, now still the latter but home to my daughter and her small family. Everyone is here waiting to start the thanksgiving celebrations and they all turn to look at me when I walk in.

"I'm sorry we're late" I apologise.

Josephine and I have literally just flown in from California, Victor and Maureen are not joining us for thanksgiving this year, they are both quite ill at the moment. I had offered to host thanksgiving in California at one of my hotels but they had declined. So we have been out in California this last week with them. Josephine was quiet when we left she knew as well as I did that time is getting limited with them both. So this year for the first time my daughter Denise stepped up and is hosting thanksgiving. Christian had offered to do so but Denise had insisted she wanted to do it as it was 'our turn'.

I look around and my eldest daughter walks towards me, my spirits immediately lift at the sight of her.

"Hi daddy" she says with a grin and gives me an arms length hug because at the moment that is the closest she can get to me.

I glance down at her huge swollen stomach, "hello sweetheart how's my grandson?" I ask nodding towards her stomach.

"Active!" she says and rubs her stomach as she says this. I notice she is rubbing her back as well, and grimacing as she does so. She is close to her due date and I hope hosting thanksgiving hasn't been too much for her.

"Are you ok?" I whisper anxiously and she smiles and nods.

"Of course I am will you stop worrying! I just keep getting odd twinges" she says breezily.

I was overjoyed when Denise told me she was pregnant again, she and Nick had decided to start a family and it had happened pretty quickly for them. Nick had got to a point in his musical career where it wasn't giving him the same fulfilment. Denise has done amazingly well at Waters, Field and Leaman. Working her way up from lowly assistant to being a senior account manager and now having an assistant of her own and spearheading some prestigious marketing campaigns. They had both realised that now was the perfect time to pause and expand their family.

I am greeted by everyone else who surge towards me, first in line is Olivia who I am more than delighted to see.

"Hi dad" she says as she hugs me.

I greet Olivia and look at her closely, visually checking she is alright. We have recently been informed that she too is going to make me grandfather. That was an interesting development, to say the least when my second daughter fell in love with and married Toby Kline. They had become friends and gradually got close and he had learnt slowly to trust her and we watched as the relationship blossomed and she systematically broke down all his defences.

We saw him slowly falling in love and it was a beautiful thing to witness to see him realise that there were good people out there who would love him and not hurt him. He had finally asked her to marry him last summer and she had agreed. They had slipped away and married quietly in California only confiding in Nick and Denise who had kept their secret and gone with them as their witnesses. It had reminded me of my wedding to Eva when they told us afterwards, that they had just eloped and done it. We had all celebrated when they had returned but unfortunately Toby's mother hadn't taken the news well that he too was now permanently linked to the Cross family. She had made remarks over the years as he had got closer to Liv that she had lost two of her three sons to us which we all found ridiculous. She hadn't lost either of her sons she had just pushed them away. She had refused the offer of help and therapy to improve her relationship with her sons and their sister Rose had just followed her mother's wishes but Nick and Brett had embraced it wholeheartedly and had worked hard to become closer. Toby is now very close to his father but it is the relationship he has with Nick which is most heart warming. I look at Toby and Nick now, talking together. After their extensive therapy they are now as thick as thieves, the way that they are together reminds me of my relationship with Christian, they may live on opposite sides of the country but are in constant contact with each other and both of them know that with one phone call they would be by each others side.

Toby and Olivia live in Los Angeles at the moment and I miss her terribly and I'm slightly disappointed that her plans to take over Cross Industries have now been abandoned but at the same time I am overwhelmingly proud of her as she now runs her own company – a television production company. She takes care of all the business side and Toby is in charge of the creative stuff, they are a formidable and successful team and have earned a great deal of respect in what is a cut throat industry and a number of their programmes have won awards. Their life is in LA now but they are here today in New York for thanksgiving. I glance at her and am slightly surprised by exactly how pregnant she is, I haven't seen her face to face for a while, and while she isn't as advanced as Denise but there is definitely a noticeable little bump there.

"Hello Liv, how are you?" I ask as I hug her and shake Toby's hand as he abandons his conversation with Nick and walks over to greet me.

"I'm good" she replies, Toby pulls a photograph from his pocket and hands it to me.

"Meet your granddaughter!" he says to me with a wide smile on his face as he holds out the picture.

I take the scan picture, "A girl?!" I say and they both nod at me. Toby looks anxiously at Liv and she nods. He takes her hand, and pulls her close to him.

"We have decided what we are going to call our daughter when she is born" Toby continues addressing the whole room. "There was only one obvious choice as if it wasn't for this person, and the help and kindness she showed me not to mention her no nonsense straight talking attitude I wouldn't be the happy man I am now, and my wife seems to have some kind of affection for her as well" he grins and everyone laughs.

"We are calling our daughter Denise, Denise Christina Kline" Denise walks forward and hugs Liv and both women are in floods of tears. I return my attention back to Toby who is still talking and he is now addressing Christian. Toby looks towards my brother, "We decided to take and use Dennie's name wholesale as I also wanted to honour you in some way too sir, as your kindness and support to me over the years has been unwavering and it was the only way I could think of to adequately thank you as you got me the help I desperately needed and you understood in a way nobody else ever could... and honestly never should".

Christian stares at Toby in shock but he smiles and nods and raises his glass to him when he eventually pulls himself together.

I walk towards my brother and slap his shoulder affectionately he is obviously incredibly moved by what Toby just said, it amuses me that even after all these years my brother still finds it hard to accept that people genuinely like him. We are joined by Christopher and Elliot and I embrace them both. At Elliot's side is my sister Ireland, I look at her carefully as I greet her and I'm happy to see that she looks radiant. That was another surprise development and one which initially concerned me. Elliot and Ireland, I wasn't happy when they both informed us they had fallen in love and were embarking on a relationship together, I love them both dearly but after the way Elliot behaved with Kate I wasn't about to have him hurt my kid sister, as she has been through enough and then there was the more than significant age difference. But he had assured me that he was a changed man, losing Kate had changed his outlook on life and he vowed he would never cheat on Ireland, I had told him I would give him the benefit of the doubt for my sisters sake as she clearly seemed to be in love with him, but I also assured him I would hurt him and not think twice about it if he ever hurt her the way he had hurt Kate and I am pretty convinced Christian and Christopher had told him much the same thing with varying degrees of menace. But it appears he _is_ a changed man, he has matured greatly and appears to have finally grown up and stopped thinking with his dick, and it adds another strange link to our incredibly complex family tree. I was also a little uncomfortable by their relationship as I have always looked upon Elliot as a brother but the truth is there is no blood link he was adopted just as Christian was so they are doing nothing wrong or dirty by falling in love. He is a good and loving step father to Holly, and he has proved himself a protective partner when the piece of shit Ireland married tracked her down and turned up in Seattle unannounced trying to intimidate her.

He hadn't bargained for the fact that Ireland had met someone else and who it was, I was told that when he had turned up unannounced at her home with the intention of scaring her, he hadn't bargained for Elliot opening the door to him and it would be an understatement to say that the meeting hadn't gone well as Christian and Ana had also been visiting at the time which meant he was also confronted by Christian and Jason Taylor – he had by all accounts beat a hasty retreat his tail between his legs. The encounter had upset Ireland immensely and now as a result she has come under the protective orbit of my brother and his security and she and Holly have their own security. Christian had acted swiftly after Elliot had insisted arguing that what would happen if he wasn't there and Gareth tried again.

I greet Christopher warmly. Christopher still single, the bachelor of the family with no intention whatsoever of settling down but he is happy in his own way I think. He has girlfriends but nothing serious. He is happy with his life and I don't interfere. Next I embrace Grace warmly.

"Hi mom!" I say putting all the love and affection I feel for this wonderful woman into those two words.

"Gideon darling" she says, her traditional greeting making me feel safe and loved as it always does. "How are Victor and Maureen?" she asks.

I shake my head, "Not brilliant, but they send their love. They have their little routine and they are both happy which I think is the main thing" I say.

Grace smiles and pats my arm. I glance around and Carrick and my step father Chris are in deep conversation with Ray and Denise senior about something and I hear my step father laugh.

I look in another direction and see my sons playing happily with Dylan, Byron and Holly. At ten years old Byron points out he is the eldest and therefore naturally in charge of everything which makes me smile considering that Fin and Zac are actually his uncles and I smile at his no nonsense attitude. He may be the living image of Josh but his personality is all Denise as he has matured. Say it like it is, is his mantra - just like his mother and his grandmother, Eva before that and if you don't like it then that is your problem. I love him dearly.

My sons, Finlay and Zachary, mischievous and lively at nine years old they keep me and their mother on our toes and when they get together with Dylan – Christian's son and Byron they raise hell! I love them so much it hurts. I look at Zoe who is at this moment in deep conversation with her cousin Phoebe. Now 20 years old Zoe is still laid back and doing her own thing, she is an accomplished artist and she has achieved a certain amount of critical acclaim for her work. But she is a bohemian, a free spirit but as with all my children I am undoubtedly proud of her and support whatever path she chooses to take.

My eyes come to rest on Josephine my wonderful wife who selflessly gives everything she has to make me happy. I am nothing without the love and unwavering support of this woman who has given me so much. I hear Phoebe laugh loudly and I turn to look. Phoebe makes me smile, as head strong and volatile as Christian she is now installed at GEH and she plans to take over her father's company one day and from what I have heard they continue to clash but since she arrived at GEH she has caused somewhat of a stir but has identified key areas where there was significant room for improvement and my brother has listened and embraced his daughters vision. The result being, in the first few months of Phoebe being at GEH she increased profits by 47% so she is definitely her fathers daughter and they are a formidable team, and it is good to see them so close.

As we have dinner I see my Denise grimace a few times and I wonder if she is really ok, Ana is watching her carefully as is Denise senior and Grace but it's after the meal when she disappears to the kitchen that we suddenly realise all is not well.

"So how long are you in town for?" I ask Brett as we all sit lounging in the sitting room. Before he can answer there is a loud crash from the kitchen.

"NICKY!" comes the urgent scream.

Before anyone can react, Nick is on his feet and racing into the kitchen closely followed by Byron. We stand up and wait looking at each other wondering what has happened, I am making my way there when we hear Nick's panicked voice.

"GRACE! PLEASE GRACE COME QUICK" he yells.

As one everyone moves towards the kitchen, we are met by Byron who grabs Grace's arm.

"Gran-gran quick, mom's having the baby now!" he says anxiously. Grace immediately follows him into the kitchen and Denise senior also makes her way into the kitchen, she pauses as she passes me and touches my arm.

"She'll be fine Gideon, don't worry" she says. I reach for Josephine and she immediately grabs my hand. I want to go in there, she needs me but Josephine holds me back.

"She'll be fine, I know you want to go to her, but it's Nicky's place to be there for her now" Josephine says gently to me. I know this and I nod, but it doesn't stop the urge to want to be there for my daughter.

Christian walks up to me and puts his hand on my shoulder, "It's hard isn't it?" he says.

"What?" I ask.

"Letting go, she is a grown woman now but she is still your little girl" he replies.

I smile and nod "It is" I admit.

We all crowd around the kitchen door and Liv comes to me and wraps her arms around me Zoe appears too and then Fin and Zac also arrive and there we all stand waiting, we can hear all sorts of activity and muffled voices from inside the kitchen then Byron comes out looking a little green.

"Mom peed herself or something, but there was loads" he says.

Brett, Christian and I all grin at his words, as what he had witnessed was his mother's waters breaking. I reach for him and wrap my arm around him he is clearly worried as he keeps looking towards the closed door.

"Shouldn't we call the paramedics or something, she can't have a baby on the kitchen floor?" he says looking up at me.

I nod and I knock on the door; "Should we call an ambulance?" I call.

"You can do but the baby is coming now, we can see him, he will be here within the next few moments" Grace shouts back calmly.

"Can someone get some towels please?" Denise senior calls equally calmly and Christian and Christopher exchange a knowing look with each other, they are clearly remembering when Denise delivered Eva of baby Denise all those years ago. Byron leaves my side and fetches some towels. When he returns he pauses outside the door.

"I don't want to go in there" he says.

I smile and take the towels from him "I'll go" I say.

Byron hands me the towels with a look of relief and I open the door.

I look inside and there is my daughter on the floor and I see my grandson is being born I quickly hand a towel to Denise senior as Grace delivers the baby, Grace and Denise are both calm and reassuring and telling Denise she has done well, while Nick is kneeling at Denise's side on the floor holding her hand. He is pale and shaking and when he looks up at me the emotions on his face are predominantly fear and panic, and I smile at him.

"She did this last time" I say to him, to try and lighten the atmosphere, Nick's expression changes to confusion.

"She spent the day in labour but failed to acknowledge the fact until it was too late which resulted in Byron appearing to be born very quickly" I explain.

I watch as Grace wraps the wriggling baby and places him in Denise's arms.

"Here you go darling, here is your son and he is beautiful - well done" she says.

Denise thanks Grace and looks up at me, "the difference last time was I wasn't actually paying much attention to anything if you recall" she says sadly. "But I do admit that I have been having pains… but I just ignored them" she says with a shrug.

I shake my head in exasperation at her and her face breaks into a smile, then she looks down at her son and maternal love fills her face.

"Oh my god look at him" Nicky gasps as he stares down at his son, he is still shaking like a leaf and he is crying. I crouch down and look at the baby and I shake Nicky's hand.

"Congratulations, everyone is anxious to find out if everything is ok and you need to get to the hospital to be checked out" I say.

Nicky nods and takes the baby from Denise and holds him looking carefully at him.

"Shit, I helped to make him" he says. He looks up at me, "What do you think of your grandson?" he asks his voice is filled with emotion and his expression is now one of relief, pride and love.

"He's beautiful" I say, "have you decided on a name?" I ask.

Denise nods at me, "We are calling him Bradley, it's Nicky's middle name but I loved it the first time I heard it, and so after a bit of gentle persuasion Nicky agreed!" she says and smiles at her husband.

Nicky nods, "Yeah, your daughter can be very persuasive, his full name is Bradley Richard Kline" he says proudly.

"Richard? Where did that come from?" I ask.

Nicky smiles, "that one was my choice; it's my late grandfathers name, my dad's dad, Ricky Kline. He was a huge influence on me when I was a little kid" he explains.

I nod in understanding, during our many chats he had talked about his grandfather and what he remembered about him, by all accounts he was killed quite young he had gotten caught up in a bar brawl, he had tried to break up a fight between two men and had been stabbed. Nicky had said he was a good man and once he even said that I reminded him of his grandfather, with the way I was – my characteristics and mannerisms and he had assured me that that was a good thing.

"Nick do you want to cut the cord?" Grace says, Nicky looks up and she holds out a pair of scissors which she has just pulled from the drawer and sterilised with the flame from the gas hob.

Nick accepts them and still trembling severely he severs the cord where Grace shows him, he looks down at Denise and kisses her tenderly. "Thank you baby, you were brilliant well done" he says and he kisses her again.

There is a knock at the door and Christian's voice comes through it "Bro, we called for an ambulance and the paramedics have just arrived" he calls.

"I need to get cleaned up" Denise says she looks at Nick, and quickly tells him what she needs from the bedroom; he nods and hands the baby back to Denise. He leaves the room and then moment's later returns followed by the paramedics.

They quickly and efficiently check the baby over and Denise watches them anxiously. I wrap my arm around her.

"This forcibly reminds me of when you were born, the way you too were born here in this very apartment" I say and Denise rests her head on my shoulder.

"Yes but Christian, Christopher and I found your mother on the bathroom floor not the kitchen and we managed to get her to the bedroom before you made your appearance to the world" Denise senior says smiling at us.

"I guess this teaches me to ignore pains, I just expected labour pains to be worse, but it didn't get bad till after my waters broke" she says.

We glance up and see Nicky now smiling widely he has finally stopped shaking and some colour has returned to his face as he holds his newborn son. "Baby I'm just going to take him out to meet everyone before we head off to the hospital is that ok, as I'd like my dad and brother to see him and I'm sure Byron would like to meet his baby brother?" he asks. Denise nods and smiles at him.

We watch him leave the room and hear the chorus of delighted exclamations and words of congratulations. Denise looks up at me.

"Will you help me up dad?" she asks and I immediately stand and help her to her feet, she is naturally a little shaky and we all give her some privacy to clean herself up. She glances at the floor.

"I seem to make a habit of making a mess on the floor when I am in labour although it was at the hospital last time where my waters broke!" she says.

Grace hugs her, "don't worry about any of this we will make sure everything is cleared up" she says.

Denise nods and thanks Grace profusely then she looks at me, "is Byron ok? He was a bit horrified when he witnessed my waters breaking" she says.

"He's fine" I assure her.

We leave the kitchen and see everyone gathered around Nicky and the baby; they all look round as we walk in. I have my arm firmly around Denise and they descend on us hugging and congratulating Denise warmly. When eventually we look up again I see Denise is anxiously scanning the room then she focuses on Byron and she smiles at the sight, I follow her gaze and see him standing next to Nicky, and Nicky is crouching and has his arms around him and Byron is holding his baby brother in his arms, and Nicky is whispering something in his ear. It is a beautiful sight, Denise shrugs out of my hold and walks towards her family. I won't lie I felt a tug in my heart as she did this but I watch her with her husband and her two sons and it's a beautiful sight. She suddenly looks towards me and as I meet her gaze she smiles at me and gives me a knowing look and immediately I also know deep down she is still and always will be my little girl.

**THE END**


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